Month: August 2015

Categories
Wellbeing

Top Plastic Surgeries For Men

When it comes to spending money to look good, women have got men beat, hands down. In 2014, of the 1.3 million cosmetic procedures—and the $12.9 billion Americans spent on them—women accounted for 90 percent. But things are changing: the number of cosmetic procedures (which include both surgical and non-surgical) men had is up 273 percent since 1997. As soon as someone develops a safe, legitimate penis enlargement procedure (not the kind that flood your spam filters), we expect that figure to quadruple every year for the next, well, forever,
So what kinds of procedures are men getting? Let’s take a look at the most popular ones first. But the real interesting stuff is the lesser-know-but-becoming-more-common ones.

  • Gynecomastia (removing what are often known as man boobs or moobs)
  • Eyelid (making both the upper and lower eyelids less droopy. This does not remove those dark circles under the eyes).
  • Facelifts
  • Liposuction (removing fat, usually from the chest and belly)
  • Nose reshaping

Men’s top five non-surgical procedures are:

  • Botox (to reduce wrinkles on the forehead and face)
  • Chemical peel (a process that removes the top layer of skin to expose the smoother layer underneath)
  • Laser hair removal (from chest, underarms, etc.)
  • Microdermabrasion (similar to chemical peel except that the top layer of skin is essentially buffed off)
  • Soft tissue fillers (injecting collagen, fat, or other substances into the skin to reduce wrinkles or add fullness to the lips)

Among surgical procedures, gynecomastia is the only of the top five that’s growing–up 14 percent from 2013 and 29 percent from 2010. However, more and more men are opting for pec implants and abdominal “sculpting” (to give you that bodybuilder chest and six-pack abs without having to bother going to the gym), cheek and chin implants, and buttock lifts and augmentations (to give you the large, perky butt you’ve always dreamed of. Wait, what? Really?)
All of the top non-surgical procedures except for microdermabrasion have grown since last year. Laser skin resurfacing seems to be replacing it.
I used to spend a lot of time wondering why women would spend so much time and money to make themselves look different. My oldest daughter has beautifully curly hair, which she used to spend endless hours straightening. Her sister has wonderful-looking straight hair which she used to spend endless hours curling. Fortunately, my youngest daughter is perfectly happy with her curls.
Men may not be spending as much time or money as women do on modifying our body, but we’re going to increasingly bizarre lengths to look good, whether for possible romantic partners, adoring fans, the media, the board of directors, or possibly just for the mirror at home. Here are just a few of the cosmetic procedures men are getting.

  • Bicep implants (if you’ve done your chest, butt, and abs, you can’t very well have skinny arms)
  • Chest hair surgery (take hair from the head and implant it on the chest)
  • Moustache surgery (same basic idea as above. Hey, not everyone can grow one.)
  • Voice-deepening surgery (injecting fat into the vocal cords to make you sound like Barry White)
  • Scrotal ironing and reduction (your sac too wrinkled? Too saggy? We can fix that)
  • Otoplasty (to make the ears stick out less or just move them to a more pleasing location)
  • Necklift (to reduce sagging)

And just so you know, women are going to some extremes as well. Between 2013 and 2014, labiaplasty procedures increased by 49 percent (since the suffix “plasty” means “to reshape,” we’re sure you can figure out what labiaplasty is all about).

Categories
Nosh

Why You Should Be More Conscious Of The Sugar In Your Diet

I used to be a sugar addict. Well, that’s not entirely true. Technically, I’m a RECOVERING sugar addict. Which means that I’m a work in progress and still salivate like Pavlov’s dog every time I hear the Mister Softee bell. Sigh. If you struggle like I do with giving it up, know that your pain isn’t in vain. I initially began my journey to ditching “the white death” because of the empty calories that were devoid of any nutrition. Although that’s a pretty good reason in my book, the benefits of being sugar free extend way beyond what I realized. Yea I knew that it was better for my waistline to eat broccoli instead of sugar, and probably also for some part of my blood or body that needed more vitamins and fiber or something. But I had no idea that ditching the sweet stuff would make my liver healthier and my brain better. Check out these 6 maladies sugar can contribute to and learn just how crappy it is for you.
The sooner you give it up…or keep it in major moderation, the better.

Obesity

Sugar is one of the most addictive substances on the planet and because it leads to decreased satiety (you’re not satisfied as you eat more of it), people lose control over how much they eat. Studies show that people who consume more sugar (as opposed to or salt) are more obese. This is especially true for people who drink a lot of sugary beverages.

Heart Disease

For years it was believed that saturated fat caused high cholesterol and thickening of the arteries, but new studies show that it’s really sugar that may be one of the leading causes of heart disease. Studies show that in large amounts, sugar can raise: triglycerides, LDL, blood glucose and insulin levels and increase abdominal obesity (or visceral fat…the bad kind) in just over 2 months.

Cancer

Cancer is characterized by uncontrolled growth and multiplication of cells. Insulin regulates this kind of growth and studies show that having high levels of insulin can contribute to cancer. Additionally, eating a lot of sugar can inflame your body, and inflammation is a known cause of cancer as well.

Diabetes

Insulin is a really important hormone that helps glucose enter the body and tells cells when to start burning fat. Too much insulin however is really bad for you and can lead to a condition known as Insulin Resistance which can lead to Type 2 Diabetes. The more sugar you eat, the more insulin your pancreas kicks out. The more it kicks out, the less it will be able to work. The less insulin works the higher your blood sugar rises causing a whole lot of harm. Once your blood sugar elevates to a certain level and stays there, you’ll begin to notice the signs that you have Type II Diabetes and all of the problems that come with it.

Brain Damage

Large amounts of sugar in your diet can reduce the chemical inside your brain that’s responsible for the production of new neurons. Neurons are in charge of your memory and any change in them can affect the way you learn and remember new information, and can hinder your ability to make new memories.

Fatty Liver Disease

The liver is responsible for turning sugar into fat, where it is pushed out as cholesterol. Sometimes, if there’s a lot of it, not all of the fat gets pushed out and some particles can get stuck in the liver. Studies show that people with fatty livers eat up to 2-3 times as much sugar as the average person.

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Get Rid Of Belly Bloating For Good

Belly bloat. Most women have experienced it at one time or another, even if they don’t need to lose weight. I know I have. It is so frustrating to feel big around the middle or know that your pants are tight because you are bloated. If you are tired of belly bloat, try some of these suggestions to banish the bloat and maybe lose a few pounds at the same time.
Banishing belly bloating is a multi-faceted issue. There is no one magic remedy to feeling and looking bloated.
As an aside, there is a difference between feeling bloated and carrying excess weight around your middle. If you need to lose weight, you cannot simply follow these tips and wake up one morning with a perfectly flat tummy. That type of transformation takes all over weight loss and dedicated exercise. I know, that’s probably not what you wanted to hear.
In any case, you can banish belly bloating by focusing on four areas:

Foods You Eat

The foods you eat have a tremendous impact on bloating. Think about it. When you eat a restaurant meal or large quantities of processed foods don’t you often feel bloated afterward?
You might think it is because you ate too much, and that is definitely a contributing factor. However, these types of foods are also typically high in sodium. Many restaurant meals have over 2,000 mg of sodium. Even a healthier option like Panera’s low-fat vegetarian black bean soup has 1,120 mg of sodium. Sodium causes bloating because of water retention. To combat this, reduce how much you eat out, check the nutrition labels on processed foods you consume, and keep track of how much salt you add to home-cooked meals.
Other foods affecting bloating include those with wheat or gluten, extremely spicy foods, and foods that contribute to constipation, such as low fiber or sugar-filled foods. Choose foods your body can easily digest, such as high-fiber fruits and vegetables and foods with a high water content.

Medical Conditions

To further eliminate belly bloating, talk to your doctor about medical conditions or medications you take that can cause bloating. Your doctor may test you for lactose intolerance, gluten sensitivity, celiac disease, or other conditions. If you test positive for one of these and begin avoiding foods containing lactose or gluten, you will find your belly shrinks and your bloating is relieved.
Other medical conditions sometimes causing belly bloating include irritable bowel syndrome, gastroesophageal reflux disease, some tumors, and in rare cases, ovarian cancer.

Drinks You Consume

I used to love sodas of all kinds until I realized they were not good for my health. The sugar content in regular sodas and the artificial sweeteners in diet sodas were equally bad for me. You may be surprised that both regular and diet carbonated beverages contribute to belly bloating. The little bubbles that make the drinks fizzy put air in your belly when you drink the liquid. Excess air can lead to a bloated feeling. The fix for this one is easy: quit drinking carbonated beverages.
Good choices for relieving belly bloating include water with lemon juice, green tea, plain water, and green smoothies.

Degree Of Activity

Sitting around on the couch all day is not good for your digestion. When you eat, your body immediately begins breaking down the food into the nutrients it needs. When you sit down right after you eat, you are not giving your body any help in moving the food through your system. Relieve belly bloating by moving around after you eat, staying upright at least 60 minutes after you consume any food, and getting some form of dedicated exercise every day.

Categories
Wellbeing

Dear New Running Mom (Hitting the Road Running with Baby)

Dear New Running Mom,

Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy! I know those last 40 (give or take) weeks were long and arduous, but completely worth it to have that sweet baby in your arms. But now that junior is finally on the outside world, and you are feeling recovered from the marathon that is childbirth, I’m sure you are itching to go for a run.

If you are like most running moms, you probably have a shiny new jogging stroller just begging to start logging miles. You’ve also likely seen other running moms posting photos on social media of their own new bundles of joy wrapped up in their car seats and strollers, just ready to run. So you too might be wondering how soon until you can take your brand new running partner out for a spin? Because what could possibly be better than sharing your love of running with the little love of your life?

Believe me, I understand. With my second child, I was so excited to hit the streets that my family even threw me a surprise running-themed baby shower.

But before the two (or more!) of you hit the road together for the first time, here are a few things you should know:

1) You might be ready to run, but is baby?

Technically, 6-8 months old is the rule of thumb before putting your baby in a stroller and running with him or her. This is based on the fact that up until this age, babies typically don’t have the head control and neck strength to prevent their little bobble heads from bouncing all around with the bumps and jolts that often accompany riding in a jogging stroller. However, this varies from baby to baby, and other factors such as car seat adaptors and neck support pillows may assist in your decision. So always check with your pediatrician first, to weigh the pros and cons and determine if your baby is ready to run (or ride, as the case may be).

2) Have the right gear.

Do not attempt to run with a traditional four wheel stroller. They were not designed for running, and could become very unsafe very quickly. Instead, make sure you have a jogging stroller designed specifically for running. Read the instructions to make sure you know exactly how to use your stroller, including but not limited to: the hand brake, the safety strap, and the locking front wheel. Never run without the front wheel locked. I know, it’s much easier to turn corners with a swivel wheel, but one pothole or stray rock can quickly and unexpectedly turn that wheel and cause the stroller to flip.

Also, make sure you maintain your stroller and check it frequently for any broken or worn components, low tire pressure, loose screws, or any other possible wear and tear.

3) Stroller running technique is NOT the same.

You are going to feel, and likely be, slower from pushing all of this extra weight in front of you. Don’t let your slower pace bring you down; instead, think of it as resistance training that is only making you stronger and faster! Further, because you have your arms out in front of you holding the stroller, your posture and even quite possibly your running gait might change. Being aware of this factor will help you to actively prevent it. Make sure you hold your core tight and remain tall; avoid leaning on the stroller as much as possible. Switch the arm you use to push the stroller frequently to prevent built up tension in your neck, shoulders and arms.

4) Safety, safety, safety.

I know, as a new mom your likely obsessed with the safety of your baby, so I’m clearly preaching to the choir here. But keep in mind while you are out for your run, your running safety tips and techniques are now multiplied by two. Know where you are going at all times, and make sure your running route is stroller friendly. Check the weather, and keep in mind that while you are hot and sweaty, baby is not only sitting still, but is being subjected to the elements (wind, rain, sun, etc.). Watch your step: that curb or pothole you can easily avoid on your own now has to be navigated over/through/around with a bulky stroller, AND the most precious cargo you could ever imagine.

As a running mom, you are truly setting a wonderful example for your children, showing them the importance of health and fitness, as well as teaching them about the joys and rewards of hard work and dedication. These early days of running with your sweet baby in the stroller will be memories that one day you will truly cherish, as we all know these precious babies grow up way too fast. So make sure you are taking the right steps to get your running relationship together off on the right foot…literally!

And welcome to the running moms club!

Categories
Sweat

Want To Lose Weight? Putting Some Money On It Could Help

Just about anyone over the age of 10 can tell you the dangers of being overweight or obese: increased risk of developing arthritis, breathing problems (such as sleep apnea), cancer, diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, and more. Then then there are the quality of life issues: anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, sexual problems, discrimination (including lower salaries), and others.
Given all that, it’s no surprise that at any given moment, tens of millions of people are on some kind of diet. But diets by themselves don’t work. In fact, they may do more harm than good (more on that below). So if the prospect of a longer, healthier life doesn’t motivate people to lose weight—and keep it off—what does? Two words: Carrots and sticks (we’re talking metaphors here, not food groups).

The Carrot: Money and Stuff

“Portion sizes at U.S. restaurants are often two or three times what they were 20 years ago, which is also distorting how much we eat at home,” says Deborah MacInnis, a professor of marketing at the University of Southern California (USC). “The increase in portion size directly parallels the increase we observe in obesity.” Quite a few studies have shown that it’s possible to incentivize people to skip the super-size portions and eat smaller meals by offering them non-food incentives, such as money or products.
For example, MacInnis and her colleagues at USC and the University of Arizona ran several experiments. In one, the team offered sixth-graders a choice between a 9-inch sandwich and a 4.5-inch sandwich plus a pair of earbuds. Most went for the earbuds. In another, they got adults to cut their portions in half by dangling the possibility of winning a $100 Amazon gift card or 10,000 frequent-flyer miles.
In 2011, the British National Health Service started a program called “Pounds for Pounds,” where they flat out bribed people to lose weight. 400 participants enrolled in the program and chose a weight-loss plan based on their target weight. The financial pounds ranged from £70 to £425 (roughly $108 to $650). Nearly half of the participants (44.8 percent) lost more than 5 percent of their starting body weight, and 23.6 percent lost more than 10 percent. The average weight loss was 8.8 pounds and the average payout about 180 pounds ($277).

The Sticks: Pay Up, Buddy

The biggest objection people have to “we’ll-pay-you-to-lose-weight” programs like Pounds for Pounds is the fear that the weight will come rolling back as soon as the payments stop. That could be true. But most people (estimates range from 90 percent to 98 percent) who lose weight on a diet slap the pounds back on for reasons having nothing to do with money. In fact, many dieters end up actually gaining weight.
Here’s how it works: When dieters shed pounds, they’re losing a mix of both fat and muscle, according to Mark Hyman, MD, bestselling author and director of the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. But when they start putting those pounds back on, it’s nothing but fat. “And since muscle burns seven times as many calories as fat, their metabolism is slower than when they started the diet,” says Hyman. The result? They gain weight more quickly because they aren’t burning it off.
So while throwing money at the problem might get people to stick to their diets—at least in the short term—adding in penalties for not hitting their weight-loss targets might be the most successful approach.
The Mayo Clinic did a fascinating study that proved that exact point. The researchers followed 100 otherwise-healthy-but-obese employees for a full year. Everyone had a goal of losing four pounds per month, monthly weight-loss counseling, and a gym membership, but half also got a financial incentive.
The participants were all weighed every month. The ones in the financial group would receive $20 at each weigh-in if they met the 4-pounds/month target; if they fell short, they’d have to pay $20 into a pool. At the end of the year, everyone who completed the study would be entered into a lottery to win the pool. Here’s how it went:

  • 62 percent of those in the incentive group completed the study compared to only 26 percent of those in the non-incentive group
  • Those in the incentive group lost an average of 9 pounds over the year vs. only 2.6 pounds in the non-incentive group
  • Those who paid any penalties along the way were especially likely to complete the study

Wanna bet that I can lose more than you?

So far, we’ve been talking about individual incentives and penalties. But what would happen if we added in an element of competition? Researchers from the University of Michigan, Carnegie Mellon University, and the University of Pennsylvania decided to find out.
They had two groups of clinically obese subjects (those with a BMI of 30 or more). Each one was given a specific weight-loss goal that was based on their BMI. Then they were assigned to one of two groups. In one, individuals would receive $100 for each month in which they met their weight-loss goals. The other group was divided into subgroups of five. Each person in the subgroup could receive $100 for hitting the monthly target.
But the five were also competing against each other to get up to $500 for the month. For example, if everyone in the group met the goal, each would get $100. But if only three did, they would split the $500 three ways. (None of the group-incentive people knew the identities of any of the others they were competing against. Can you imagine how much sabotaging there would have been otherwise?)
Participants in the individual incentive group lost an average of 3.7 pounds over six months. They put half of that weight back on over the next 12 weeks. The group incentive participants lost an average of 10.6 pounds and kept it off for longer.

Group Support vs. Incentivizing Yourself

One of the reasons so many people fail to lose weight on diets is that they’re trying to go it alone, without support. Having someone in there with you can make those goals a lot easier to reach and a lot more likely to stay reached over time.
If you can’t get anyone in your corner, there are a number of apps and online programs that will pay you for reaching goals you set (whether that’s for weight loss or gym workouts) and penalize you when you fall short. Some also incorporate friendly competition. But if necessary, you can do it yourself.
Rather than set a huge goal of losing 100 pounds, set small ones—maybe losing one pound every week. At the same time, reward yourself along the way with things other than chocolate cake, such as seeing a movie or going fishing.

Categories
Wellbeing

Stop Feeling Guilty About Being Unproductive

Like most people, I like being “productive.” Accomplishing work projects, receiving an award or recognition, and even completing something mundane like washing a few loads of my family’s laundry brings me a feeling of inner satisfaction. But I wonder if our Western society places too much emphasis on being productive. When we get to the point where we beat ourselves up if we don’t cross every item off our to-do list, it might be time to reassess and re-evaluate things. Here are some ways to reduce guilt when you’re not as productive as you would have liked:

First off, not getting it all done doesn’t mean that you’re lazy! In fact, it could be the opposite: are the expectations you have for yourself perhaps unrealistic? I know what it’s like to be ambitious, but remember that you are a human being with human limitations, and that’s okay! Set your goals high, but not so high that you’re essentially preparing yourself to fail. Go for good enough, and take pride in what you do accomplish. I suggest you even think about ditching your to-do list completely (especially if it’s causing you anxiety)!

If you find yourself feeling guilty about being “unproductive,” reconsider what that even means. Running yourself ragged will make you tired and burnt out, which will actually hurt your efficiency and productivity in the long run. On the other hand, unscheduled time can rejuvenate your body and spirit. I encourage you to view your downtime not as a waste of the day but instead as necessary to your mental and emotional health. I’ve also found that relaxation and rest can help foster creativity; it’s during those quiet, peaceful times that you may find new mindful or spiritual insight. As a songwriter, I often get my best ideas not when I’m crazy busy, but when I slow down and breathe. Consider taking a yoga class or doing some other meditative practice to help calm your mind and put aside the cares and stresses for a bit.

An additional strategy to beat the “guilt of unproductivity” is to value not just the achievement of a task or goal, but also the process of how you got there. For example, having children help you cook a meal will almost certainly take longer than if you had done so on your own, but the learning experience they have and the opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them will (hopefully!) be worth the extra time. Even if you don’t finish something you set out to do, there is still great potential to learn and grow from process of working toward your goals.

And finally, it took me years, decades even to recognize that my behavior or performance is not linked to my self-worth. Though it can be difficult, try to stop viewing an unfinished task as a sign that you are not “good enough” or worthy of love. You are so much more than your to-do list. When you fall short, practice self-compassion and let yourself off the hook a little. While your performance varies from day-to-day, your worth remains untouched.

After all is said and done, if you still are disappointed in yourself for not accomplishing as much as you want, remember that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. You can use your mistakes and failures to course correct for the future.

Categories
Nosh Nutrition x Advice

How Cinnamon Can Aid In Your Weight Loss Goals

When I heard that cinnamon could be good for weight loss I immediately pictured a gooey cinnamon roll with icing. Reality set in when I resigned myself to the fact that although cinnamon is good for weight loss, cinnamon rolls definitely are not. If you are looking for a way to spice up your diet and help yourself lose weight, stock up on cinnamon and use it liberally.
I know it seems inconceivable that a simple spice like cinnamon could be good for weight loss, but there is scientific research supporting the claim. A study published in a 2011 issue of the Journal of Nutrition and Metabolism supports the theory. This study, like most studies on cinnamon and weight loss, focuses on the fact that cinnamon seems to play a role in stabilizing blood sugar and insulin levels. When your insulin and blood sugar levels are under control, your body is able to more easily burn fat instead of storing it.
It needs to be said that cinnamon isn’t a magic bullet for weight loss. However, you can add cinnamon to your diet in a way that will actually enhance your dieting efforts.
Fortunately, it’s easy: Add cinnamon to food.
Cinnamon is a unique spice in that it can be used in breakfast foods, main dishes, desserts, and snacks.
Breakfast ideas 
Sprinkle cinnamon on oatmeal, Greek yogurt, or scrambled eggs in the morning. The cinnamon will enhance the flavors of the food without overwhelming your senses.
Main dish ideas 
Include cinnamon in vegetarian chili, in fajitas filled with grilled chicken marinated in lime juice, on sweet potatoes, over brown rice, and in roasted pork dishes.
Dessert ideas
A traditional use of cinnamon, and one of my favorites, is to sprinkle cinnamon on apple or pear slices, warm them in a cast iron skillet with a bit of water, and serve as a dessert. It doesn’t get much better than that. You can also add cinnamon to vanilla-flavored low-fat ice cream or frozen yogurt.
Snack ideas
Roast pecans with a bit of coconut oil and cinnamon. The flavors pair well together and both pecans and coconut oil are good for weight loss. Other snack options that include cinnamon are homemade trail mix, popcorn sprinkled with cinnamon, homemade granola bars, and apple cinnamon fruit bars.

Spice up drinks with cinnamon

Sprinkling cinnamon directly on water is not very appetizing because the cinnamon just sits on top. Instead, I often add a bit of cinnamon to my coffee in the morning to give it a gourmet flavor and reap the health benefits. Other ideas to spice up your drinks with cinnamon are to add cinnamon to hot tea, sprinkle it in a fruit smoothie, mix it with almond or regular milk, or make a cinnamon vanilla yogurt shake.

Take a cinnamon supplement

There are several types of cinnamon, including Ceylon cinnamon and cassia cinnamon. While small amounts of cinnamon will not cause harm to most people, WebMD cautions that excessive amounts of cassia cinnamon can be toxic. If you purchase a cinnamon supplement make certain it is Ceylon cinnamon and do not exceed the recommended dosage.
It is important to understand that while it would be nice, cinnamon is not a magic spice for weight loss. It may marginally help your weight loss efforts, but adding cinnamon to your diet will not automatically cause pounds and inches to melt off.

Categories
Wellbeing

Letting Go and Leaving Infidelity Behind

Millions of marriages end due to infidelity every year. Once the initial shock wears off there is one big decision that needs to be made. Should the marriage end or can it be saved? There’s no right answer, but there is definitely one that brings more peace of mind.

Jenna came to see me after discovering that her husband of 25 years had been having an affair. She arrived in my office in tears, broken-hearted and in shock over learning that he had been seeing another woman from his office for the past two months.

I’ve seen this early phase of trauma many times, and I know from experience that Jenna will have some even bigger hurdles as she progresses down the road of being an infidelity victim. She is one of many who will be living through the nightmare of an affair, and struggling with the tortuous decision to stay or leave her marriage.

Although researchers find it hard to really know how many marriages are disrupted by infidelity, the number hovers around 20 million. We know that honesty is not in the forefront of a cheaters mind so this number is probably a rough gauge based on the source of actual reports and full disclosure. Even if we consider this to be a pretty good estimate, we can presume that there are millions of people out there either trying to save their marriages from divorce, or to figure out how to save themselves.

The question of whether a marriage can survive an infidelity is not unlike asking about the meaning of love. It’s complicated, nuanced, personal and contextual. In her book “After the Affair”, Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D, says that couple’s can survive infidelity provided that each partner is willing to look honestly at themselves and each other, and that each is able to acquire the skills needed to get through the shattering crisis.

Other authors base the outcome on the injured partner’s willingness to forgive and let go, and also on the level of change the unfaithful partner is capable of. To make things even more confusing we have to consider the depth of betrayal, the willingness to give up the affair, and how truly remorseful the perpetrator feels.

Deciding to stay or go after an affair is by far the hardest decision anyone can make. The only thing slightly harder is being robbed of even having this choice when the cheating partner makes the choice himself or herself.

Pros and Cons

The pros and cons list for this kind of dilemma can end up being a scroll. Some might say that all marriages should be saved, and that the rate of divorce is high because people don’t want to take the time and energy to work through something so difficult.

In my experience most couples would prefer to stay married for religious reasons, the children, the investment they’ve made or the fear of starting over alone. More often than not the betrayed person chooses to remain in marriage because it’s too scary not to.

Staying married means avoiding the draining and destructive process that so often accompanies divorce. Families get to remain in tact, children stay in their home, finances don’t get disrupted, and life ultimately stays the same.

On the con side there’s the issue of being able to forget, let alone forgive. Staying in a marriage after a betrayal means always knowing that a partner cheated, and many people don’t want to live with this kind of worry. Overtime trust can be rebuilt, but the memory remains and the relationship would never be fully the same.

Staying also means that there is an increased risk in it happening again. Once a cheater, always a cheater may not be true in every case, but once that line has been crossed it’s easier to cross it again. Past behavior is the greatest determiner of future behavior so most bets would be on the cheater repeating the same mistake.

Fit or Flop

Leaving a partner after an infidelity is the healthier choice. Mistakes happen, and no one is perfect but the majority of married people make this kind of commitment because they trust that there partner will honor and respect them.

Every story and situation is different but betrayal of this kind is profound and extremely damaging to the heart, mind and soul. Surviving this heartbreak is absolutely possible, but it changes the relationship forever in ways that can never be repaired.

Categories
Sweat

Should You Really Be Wearing Those Stilettos?

I’m a high-heel addict. Cute styles, mile-long legs. They make you look thinner, cause you to stand a little straighter… what’s not to love? Well, perhaps muscle damage in the foot.

According to a study published this summer in The International Journal of Clinical Practice, researchers conducted a pretty interesting experiment. How do you test the impact of heels on the foot over time? You try to level the playing field, looking at women who must wear them everyday for work in the same context.

Scientists selected students studying to be flight attendants at Hanseo University in South Korea to participate in their research; these women are required to wear heels everyday, in preparation for their eventual careers. With that in mind, they grabbed 10 ladies from each class — freshman, sophomore, junior, senior — measuring ankle strength and balancing abilities on a wobbly board.

Here’s what they found. While sophomores and juniors showed greater ankle strength in some of the muscles when compared to the heel-newbie freshman class, notably on the sides of the joint, seniors started to show a decline in those same muscles after four long years of a stiletto regimen. In addition, the older gals also had weaker muscles along the front and back of the ankle. Ah!

What’s going on? Basically, when you wear heels for a long time, there’s an unnatural, unbalanced amount of strength building sides of the ankles when compared to the front and back. This unevenness leads to unsteady walkin’, as well as increased risk of foot and leg injuries.

And it seems heels are just getting taller and more dangerous, right? They may be cute, but they can be According to a recent report in The Journal of Foot & Ankle Surgery, ER visits for high-heel-related injuries has doubled since 2002 in the United States. Young adult females in their 20s, who are the target market for those sky-high stilettos, are most at risk.

While I’ve sufficiently freaked out the faction of heel devotees out there, you shouldn’t worry. You don’t have to give up your favorite pair of sassy stilettos. Here are some tips:

Do heel lifts.

According to the researchers from the South Korean flight attendant study, simple heel lifts and heel drops can help strengthen muscles the right way, according to The New York Times. For the lifts: Stand on a flat surface, rise onto your toes, drop to the flat surface, and repeat. For the drops: Stand on the edge of a stair, drop your heels below the edge, bring them back to stair level, and repeat.

Slip heels off at the office.

The researcher also told the NYT that simply sitting in heels, with feet flat on the floor, isn’t the best idea, because it “can alter the resting length of the muscles and tendons around the ankle.” So, when you’re at your desk at work (or anywhere else you can feasibly remove your shoes), kick ’em off.

Choose comfort (when reasonable).

According to my pal Dr. Darria Long Gillespie, an ER physician at Emory University, the official, foot-surgeon-approved recommendation for heel height is two inches. So, keep some of those kitten heels on standby. And whenever you can, if you’re torn between two sexy shoe choices, choose the ones your feet feel best in. Recent research on running shoes showed that, to stay injury-free, the best choice was always the most-comfortable choice — ignoring other factors that scientists have suggested may reduce damage, like lessening impact force and managing ankle rotation. It’s really that simple: If you’re comfortable, your body can intuitively move in a way that’s natural for its makeup.

So, ladies: you don’t have to ditch your heels! In mean, I would never give up those look-better benefits (wink). That said, follow those few tips to reduce the damage your stilettos impart. Your feet deserve it.

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Sweat

Flexibility: Inherited or Learned?

It is simply a fact that men and women differ athletically, largely due to genetics and hormones. But what about flexibility? Is our ability to touch our toes sealed by genetic fate, or can we overcome tight hamstrings with enough practice?
I’ve pondered this for quite some time. In the days when I occasionally dropped-in at a yoga class, I’d watch in admiration as the flexible yogi types rolled out their mats and began to do a series of poses that I wouldn’t dare attempt. Me? I can’t come close to touching my toes. I never could … even as a kid when I practiced ballet for years and spent lots of time trying to do splits, backbends, and other contorted poses on my own.
The short answer is this — genetics counts for a large part of determining our flexibility. If your inner nerd is dying to know if you’re among those predisposed for inflexibility, the answer may lie in a SNP (or Single Nucleotide Polymorphism) of DNA on your COL5A1 gene — a gene on the ninth chromosome that instructs your body to make a component of collagen.
Dr. Paul Weitzel, an Orthopedic Surgeon at New England Baptist Hospital told the Boston Globe that we all have a baseline level of tightness and flexibility but with some effort we can improve that level by about 20-25 percent.
Why it might not sound like much improvement for the effort required — an effort excruciatingly well-known to those of us who struggle with a simple back bend or toe-touch — it’s important for a number of reasons.
While research suggests that pre-workout stretches are likely not having much of an effect on risk of injury during your workout and a 2011 study in Medicine and Science in Sports and Exercise showed that increased stiffness may actually make you a *better* runner, the large majority of us are not competitive athletes. What we all are is aging humans, and it is a fact that as we age we are prone to increased risk of injury due to decreased range of motion (among other things).
That’s where signing up for a regular stretching routine comes in handy. You know what they say about an ounce of prevention, right? These simple tips from Mayo Clinic will give you the basics you need to safely get your stretch on:
Don’t stretch cold muscles. Stretching is not a warm up, and stretching cold muscles may lead to an injury. Your best bet is to save the stretch for after you exercise when your muscles have significantly warmed up.
Shoot for balance. Thanks to our genes, we don’t all have yogi-level flexibility … and that’s ok. Rather than reaching for the unattainable, make a goal of becoming flexible on both sides (most of us are a little asymmetrical.) This will keep your body in balance and may decrease the likelihood of future injury.
Hit the big guns. Focus on all of the big muscle groups when designing your stretching routine — hamstrings, hips, back, and shoulders — and remember to spend an equal amount of time on both sides of the body for optimal results.
Don’t bounce. Static stretching, where you hold a particular stretch for several seconds is much more gentle on your muscles than bouncing stretches (also known as ballistic stretching) which can put strain on your muscles and even lead to an injury.
Hold it. Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds; I know this sounds brutal to the inflexible, but the longer you can hold a stretch the better the outcome. Don’t forget to breathe while you stretch. Proper breathing drives oxygenated blood to your muscles and helps muscles relax, making it easier to hold and deepen your stretches.
Stop if you feel pain. “No pain, no gain” is NOT an adage to take to heart while stretching. You should feel a little bit of pull or tension when you stretch, but never pain. Pain means you are pushing yourself too far. Back off to a point where the pain goes away and safely hold your stretch.
Keep it up! To maximize benefits, you have to stretch on a regular basis — at least 2-3 times per week. If you don’t stick to it, you’ll most likely lose any benefits you’ve gained. Give yourself a few extra minutes at the end of every workout that you dedicate to stretching. Considering it part of your workout will increase the likelihood that you’ll stick with your program.