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Sweat

How Caffeine (And 9 Other Things) Can Ease Your Sore Muscles

You’re lying in bed in the morning, thinking how happy and proud you are of yourself for kicking butt in spin class the day before…until you roll over and try to get up. Your thighs are screaming, your butt is killing you, and every time you twist, your abs go into spasms. Is this the thanks you get for doing your body good?!
Delayed onset muscle soreness (or DOMS) is caused by microscopic tears in your connective tissue that make your nerves go haywire and cause inflammation and a buildup of chemicals and fluids. Although it feels crappy, muscle soreness is neither good nor bad for you. Studies conflict over whether your body needs to be sore in order to get stronger and fitter. The truth is, you can get healthier without it. But sometimes, when you push hard, it happens. And although it’s not bad for you, it can demotivate you to catapult yourself into your afternoon 10K and make you feel like general crap all day long.
Muscle soreness usually peaks 48 to 72 hours after your workout, depending on your body, and it takes just about as long to go away. There are things that you can do that can speed the process along. Here are 10 easy ones to help you feel better, quicker.

1. Water

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It’s true. Water does a body good. In the case of muscle soreness, water will help to repair your muscles quickly and flush away excess fluid. Aim for at least eight glasses a day.

2. Massage

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Manual pressure helps flush out waste products and increase circulation which speeds up the healing process. Foam rolling, a new popular way to “self massage,” is really good for you as well. It uses pressure and targeted massage to help prevent scarring of the connective tissue between your muscles (the fascia).

3. Curcumin

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An extract of the turmeric root, curcumin has long be been used in Chinese and Indian medicine for its anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. Researchers have found that curcumin supplementation causes a decrease in DOMS-related symptoms, muscle damage, and inflammation which lead to improved training and performance along with injury prevention. You can take an oral supplement daily but also get the benefits by sprinkling it on veggies, adding it to eggs, and using it in soups and stews.

4. Sleep

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While you rest, muscle building chemicals increase and help your body to repair. Sleep is essential to a healthy body and you should aim for at least seven hours per night, but eight to nine hours is the optimal amount.

5. Snack

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Protein helps build muscle and studies have shown that small, frequent meals can help your body build muscle better than one big one. Try to eat your first snack within 30 minutes of finishing your workout and continue for two to four hours after. Five to seven grams of protein per meal is what you should aim to get.

6. Tart Cherry Juice 

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Touted as one of the hottest foods in 2015, cherry juice is high in antioxidants which help inflammation and muscle soreness. Put a splash into your smoothie or drink it straight up!

7. Creatine 

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Creatine is an amino acid that fuels your muscles and gives you the energy to rebuild and refuel. The more energy you have, the better you can repair and recover. Choose oral supplements or add some to your post workout snack.

8. Mushroom Extract

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The ‘shroom works by activating ATP, the energy powerhouses in your cells, to give you “clean” energy without resorting to stimulants. Add fresh dried mushroom to soups, stews and meals or opt for an oral supplement in capsule or extract form.

9. Magnesium

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Essential for healthy muscles, magnesium also serves as a gentle, natural muscle relaxant. Instead of taking an oral supplement, add it to a warm bath or compress where it can be absorbed by the skin and act more effectively.

10. Caffeine

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Recently, researchers found that drinking caffeine (about two cups worth) helped reduce muscle soreness in women after a hard workout. It works by blocking adenosine, a chemical released by your body in response to injury.

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Sweat

Why Weight Loss Is Not A Cure-All

I read a story on the Stir about a woman who had weight loss surgery and lost 180 pounds. She was “bitterly disappointed” after her weight loss because her life didn’t magically become better. She said, “I was skinny, but my life wasn’t suddenly and magically perfect — and that completely astonished me.”

I am sorry that she was disappointed with her lack of happiness and perfection in her weight loss, but her experience can help you understand that losing weight isn’t a magic bullet to a perfect life.

Expecting a perfect life after you lose weight is common. This woman isn’t the first person to assume that a large amount of weight will solve life’s problems.

I had that expectation before I lost weight, but I quickly learned as I was dropping 10 pounds here and 20 pounds there that my overall life wasn’t changing. Just my appearance and my health.

Even though I looked tons better than before, I was still the same person inside with the same problems and same feelings.

Weight loss does not make your financial problems disappear, does not make you suddenly become happy with your appearance, and it definitely does not fix relational or emotional problems you may have been dealing with before you lost weight.

All weight loss really does it change your outer appearance and in most cases, improve your health.

The people who are sad that losing weight did not fix their life are usually the same people who:

1) Did not deal with the emotional aspects of their weight either before or during their weight loss experience.

2) Had unrealistic expectations of what their life would be like after they reached their goal weight.

People who acknowledge their emotional ties to food and work hard to deal with expectations are the ones who are most pleased when they lose weight.

Why?

Because those people understand the mind connection they have to food. And as they lose weight they gain a better understanding of their emotional relationship to food and realize that losing weight is not going to change their lives completely.

I’ve put together a few suggestions for you to think about when you are in the process of losing weight to ensure you are pleased and satisfied with yourself and your life once you reach your goal weight.

1. Focus On More Than Pounds Lost

Everyone wants to drop pounds when losing weight, but don’t just focus on those pounds. Focus on your life, focus on your emotional well being, and focus on developing the relationships you have.

2. Don’t Expect Everyone to Be Happy for You

Your relationships with people will shift as you lose weight. Sometimes they shift in a negative way. People may be happy for your success or they may not. It doesn’t matter. You need to be happy for yourself and not worry about other people.

3. Be Prepared for Change

You will change in a lot of ways as you lose weight. Your priorities may change, you may struggle in areas where you hadn’t struggled before, and you will look different. Losing weight doesn’t fix your struggles. In fact, sometimes new ones come to the forefront.

4. Keep a Journal

Keep an emotions journal that enables you to look back and discover what situations made you overeat, what foods triggered intense cravings, and how you handled each situation. Losing weight will not fix your desire to eat when you are not hungry and you must learn from past mistakes and triumphs.

5. Face Reality

Your life will be basically the same after you lose weight. You will probably still live in the same place, have the same financial challenges, and be married to the same person.

I know we all want weight loss to solve life’s problems, but sadly it does not. As the saying goes, “Life goes on.” Let’s add this to that phrase. “Life goes on after weight loss.” Have realistic expectations of what your life will be like after weight loss and you will not be disappointed.

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Lifestyle

A 6-Year-Old Amputee Raises Money For A Tailless Dolphin

Braedon Monthony was taken with Winter the tailless dolphin the first time he saw her in Dolphin Tale. He excitedly told his mother, “Mom, how cool! She’s just like me!”

Winter, the star of Dolphin Tale, lost her tail after getting caught in a crab trap. Now, she uses a prosthetic tail. It’s something to which the first grader can relate. Braedon lost both of his legs below the knees after fighting bacterial form of meningitis before he was even a year old. 

Braedon desperately wanted to meet Winter in person, so he started a lemonade stand to raise money. When the Clearwater Marine Aquarium in Florida heard about Braedon’s efforts, they offered his family free tickets and set up a special meet and greet next spring. Unfortunately, the family will have to pay for the trip down there. But not to worry!

So far, Braedon has raised about $200 and the family also started a Go Fund Me page, which has netted around $4,000. It’s more than enough to go see Winter. 

“Ever since I saw the movie, I’ve been wanting to meet her, I’m so excited,” Braedon told People. “She lost her tail and I lost my legs, we both wear prosthetics, we’re the same!”

The movie, and Winter, made Braedon feel a little less lonely. He said it made him realize he wasn’t the only to lose his legs. 

“When he saw the movie, he was so excited to see another being similar to him,” Braedon’s mom, Elaine Monthony, told People. “He felt such a kinship with Winter. He doesn’t see people with prosthetics every day, so it will be very special for him to see her, he doesn’t have to feel alone or different. We can’t wait to see him experience that.” 

Like Winter, the prostheses aren’t an obstacle to Braedon. The energetic little boy loves to bike, swim, and just play outside. He might use the energy to do some good one day, too. Braedon said when he grows up he wants to work with animals who are missing limbs.

“I would like to train dolphins and killer whales that have lost their tales, because it would make me feel so happy that I would have my own dolphin to train!” he said. “Mine would definitely like me a lot, I think. We would have a lot in common.” 

Go get ’em kid!

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Sweat

Pump Up Your Pilates Routine With The Perfect Playlist

Back in the day, Pilate’s classes weren’t set to music. There was an instructor, you, and the works of Joseph Pilates.  When I too, first taught Pilates, dare I say over 14-years ago, there was never music playing in class. As time passed, I started adding in calming ocean waves and background music as a touch of ambiance. As the years passed, and I started to play different styles of music, I found that the music helped to fuel my classes. The energy, especially in group classes was much higher, and you could feel clients energized and willing to really work hard with the music.

Researchers have long known that music and exercise both increase improvements in our overall health.  Recently, more and more scientists are looking at the effects of music and exercise together and how they affect one’s workouts.  They have found that, overall, people work out harder and are more consistent when music is involved.  A study by clinical psychologist Charles Emery of Ohio State University looked at participants’ mental performance after exercising with music.  They were given a verbal fluency test after exercising.  The participants were each in the final week of a cardiac rehabilitation program.  The results were amazing! I knew they would be good – but wow!  On average, the people who listened to music while exercising performed twice as well on the test afterwards than the ones who did not listen to music.  This indicates that mental performance can actually be improved when someone exercises with music.

I personally am a music lover, and have music playing be it while training privately, or on my Pilates mat, or Pilates-Barre classes.  The music is always different depending on the class and the vibe of clients as they arrive for their workouts.  I try to mix up the music weekly to help keep the energy fresh and clients enjoying their workouts.

To celebrate the amazing effects of music on our health, below is an upbeat 55-minute playlist that I created for one of my Pilates classes. As a fitness instructor, I am addicted to making new playlist that revolve around my moods and new music loves.  I hope this playlist invigorates and energizes you as much as it does for my classes and I.

Tiesto & Hardwell, “Shimmer”

2.   Kiesza, “Hideaway”

3.   Clean Bandit & Jess Glynne, “Real Love”

4.   Beyonce, “Halo (Dave Aude Club Remix)”

5. Katy Perry, “Teenage Dream (Tommie Sunshine’s Remix)”

6.   Britney Spears, “Circus (Villains Remix)”

7.   Christina Aguilera, “Not Myself Tonight”

8.   Alesso, “Heroes (feat Tove Lo)”

9.   John Legend, ” All of Me (Tiesto’s Birthday Treatment)”

10.  Coldplay, “A Sky Full of Stars (feat. Jess Glynne)

11. Clean Bandit & Jess Glynne, ” Rather Be”

12.  Katy Perry, “Wide Awake”

When your current playlist runs dry, a fresh crop of songs is all that’s needed to bring new motivation to any type of workout.  This playlist is great for Pilates classes, Barre Classes and even private training sessions.

Now, time to get your workout on!

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Sweat

"Fit" Is The New "Thin," But Is It Just As Body Shaming?

Several years ago, social media was saturated with “thinspiration.” If you frequented Pinterest, Twitter, or Instagram, you probably saw collarbones. And thigh gaps. Visible ribs, jutting hips, and waiflike bodies.
Around the same time the movement began, supermodel Kate Moss uttered that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” which became the motto of the moment. The highest goal, for way too many, was obtaining the marks of a skinny girl—no matter your size, no matter your frame.
Thankfully, today, the thinspiration trend seems to be dying to the mainstream. Now, as a society, we’re much more focused on getting fit instead of getting thin. Fitspiration photos are the stuff of Kardashian instagrams and fit blogs, and we’re constantly bombarded with post-workout photos of celebrities like Demi Lovato, Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Taylor Swift.
While it’s awesome that we’re attempting to promote strong bodies instead of sickly ones, I still have to wonder if we’re there yet in terms of our body-image ideals.
The bodies of fitspiration stars are still tough to obtain, the result of just the right diet and just the right workout regimen followed very consistently over time. Is it too much that we’re cheering washboard abs, biceps with just the right muscle tone, and an endless stream of workout Instagrams?
If it’s affecting your mood and how you view your own body, yes.
Most of us don’t have access to the same resources of celebrities and fit bloggers to maintain those tight, toned bodies. We probably don’t have access to a personal trainer like the Kardashians, a mindlessly healthy diet like Beyonce’s vegan meal service—or a schedule that allows us to get enough beauty sleep, get in a great workout, and then get to work on time.
This sets the table for a cycle of obsession and guilt: obsessing about superfoods, workout goals, and body ideals, and guilt every single day you fall short of your ideal. We can see this trend in the rise of conditions like orthorexia, obsessing about eating very specific “healthy” foods, and exercise disorders.
Social media gives us just a peek at the whole story. Ultimately, it’s a behind-the-scenes look at someone’s health habits—but it’s just a glimpse. What looks healthy on the surface might not be what it seems. I’m not saying every person, celebrity or otherwise, has disordered eating or a fit obsession. But I am saying that it can exist under the surface, and you’d never know who it affects. I’ve talked to enough former workout stars and Instagram-famous health gurus to know it is an unspoken undercurrent of that culture.
Now, it’s not our job to determine who’s healthy and who’s not on social media. But here’s what I hope we all remember about what we see: what looks healthy for someone else might not be the best type of healthy for you.
We all have different calorie and nutrient needs. Different workouts will make us feel our best and reach a body type that’s sustainable. Maybe you don’t have cutting-board abs. Maybe you splurge on the occasional topping-laden fro-yo on the way home from work. Maybe you don’t track every bite of food on an app. Maybe your Instagram couldn’t pass for a fit blogger’s paradise. That’s okay. All of it. As long as your highest goal is maintaining personal health, without the burdens of guilt and shame when you don’t meet narrow goals.
Personally, I struggled for a long time to figure out what healthy looks like, but I finally know that it’s not working out six days a week for an hour, fitting a specific dress size, or eliminating all carbs or sugar from my diet. It’s living my life without obsessing about numbers, making mostly healthy dietary decisions, working out as much as possible (without killing myself), getting enough sleep, surrounding myself with good people—and keeping a positive attitude about my body.
If you follow that formula, your body is probably going to morph into the one you were intended to have all along—whether it be fit, thin, curvy, strong, soft, or whatever word you choose to assign to it.
Healthy is beautiful. I hope you seek and find your version of it.

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Sweat

The Need for Speed: How to Run Faster

One of the most common questions that runners have is how they can improve their overall speed. Dedicated runners usually obtain a good level of fitness through regular workouts, and they can generally go for miles without stopping. But many often end up hitting a plateau in terms of how quickly they can cover those distances. If you find yourself wondering how you can improve your running speeds, here are some helpful tips that could help you shave time off of your pace.

Focus on Form and Stride

Many runners don’t actually think much about their workouts. They simply head out the door with a distance in mind, and soon find themselves lost in thought as they listen to music in their headphones. But if you concentrate on maintaining a good running form and a natural stride, you’ll learn to be a more efficient runner that can cover longer distances at a faster pace. You should run with your back straight, standing tall and leaning slightly forward, while landing with the mid-foot rather than the heel. Swing your arms in a natural movement forward and back, while avoiding moving them from side to side. Add in long, natural strides that allow your legs to flow smoothly, and you’re likely to see noticeable improvements in efficiency and speed.

Sprint Training

One of the surest ways to improve speed while running is to simply run fast. You can’t just decide to do that on your longer runs however, as it takes time and conditioning. You can switch up your workouts to include sprint training though, which involves running fast intervals over shorter distances. Running a 50 or 100-meter dash, then taking a short break before doing it again will help to build muscle, as well as improve cardio efficiency. Both of those are key elements to running faster on longer runs as well.

Stretch Daily

It is debatable whether or not stretching can help avoid injuries while working out, but it can definitely improve flexibility and loosen up the muscles. This has the benefit of shortening the time it takes for your body to warm up while on a run, which is important when you’re looking to improve your times over longer distances. You should also stretch on your rest days too, as it will keep your body limber and relaxed at a time when muscles tend to tighten up.

Run Hills

Let’s face it, hills are the bane of a runners existence, often pushing our muscles and lungs to the max. But if you want to run faster you shouldn’t avoid hills, as the effort to get up, and down them helps improve your overall level of fitness and ultimately allows you to run faster too. And once you’ve learned to conquer the hills, it’ll bring a nice sense of satisfaction and confidence to your running as well.

Cross Train

Running may be an excellent workout, but there are other exercises that can help you get fit and improve your speeds too. For instance, cycling is a good alternative to running in terms of building lean muscles while still working the legs. Sit-ups, push-ups and pull-ups are also great for the core, which is integral for improving your running times as well. Lifting lighter weights can help build strength and tone muscles without adding bulk, which can help to maintain your speed over longer runs.

Don’t Forget About Your Shoes

I’m not sold on the idea that wearing one specific shoe over another will make you a faster runner, but there is something to be said for finding the right pair of shoes that work for you. Your shoes should be comfortable on your feet and provide plenty of cushioning from the road or trail. What that means for each individual runner is truly a personal matter, and finding the shoe that works best for you will certainly help you run better. Also, don’t forget to replace them with a new pair every 300-500 miles, as once the support starts to go, it’ll put extra wear and tear on your legs that will eventually slow you down. Keeping your legs fresh are an important key to achieving improved personal times over longer distances.

The key to improving your running speeds isn’t about working harder, but more importantly running smarter. Wanting to improve your time is a natural part of the sport, and these tips can help you achieve that goal. Don’t forget to be stay hydrated, and be mindful of what you eat, as those elements can have an impact on the efficiency of your runs as well. With a bit of focus and planning, you’ll soon be taking precious second off your run times, and pushing the limits of just how fast you can truly go.

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Nosh

Hazards Ahead: How To Prepare For The Holidays

The weather is turning colder, and whether you celebrate fall or dread it because winter is soon to follow, the holiday season is fast approaching. From a dieting perspective, there is no harder time.

It’s difficult enough to stick to your diet during the regular months, but almost impossible during the holiday months. Don’t despair. I have several ways you can prepare yourself for the holiday dieting hazards ahead.

Holiday preparation takes two different directions when it comes to sticking to your diet and losing weight.

The first is mental. The second is taking concrete action.

The Mental Preparation

Having a recipe for mental preparation before the holiday season begins is critical in ensuring you get through the holidays successfully. Now is not the time to let your guard down. I recommend thinking about emotions, expectations, and food traditions before the holiday season begins to prepare you to navigate the complexities of the holidays without gaining weight.

Emotions

Speaking from personal experience, the holidays aren’t always completely full of gladness and joy. For many people, events from the past bring up unpleasant emotions. For example, if a family member has recently passed away, you will miss that person during the holidays.

Strong emotions often trigger a desire to overeat.

I find it best to acknowledge the emotions that the holiday brings and talk with family about how I’m feeling. It’s okay to have sad times during the holiday season. Be ready for those times and avoid turning to food for comfort.

Expectations And Traditions

Do you expect to have all your favorite foods at the next holiday? Probably. Are you going to sample all of them? Hopefully not if you are serious about losing weight.

For many people, eating the same foods every year during the holidays is part of tradition. You must mentally decide what foods you will include and exclude from your holiday diet before the holiday season begins. That way you won’t be standing in front of a dessert table laden with your favorites trying to say “no” to all of them.

Concrete Preparation

Concrete preparation for the holidays involves finding ways to incorporate healthier options into traditional celebrations and taking steps ahead of time to make sure you are able to stick to your diet without feeling too deprived or upsetting family members unnecessarily.

Talk With Family And Friends

Sit down with family and close friends and have an honest discussion about your goals. I told my husband I would not be baking as much as I usually did during the holidays because I didn’t want to be tempted. He was sad but understood.

Tell your family and friends how you will handle holiday food, baking, and social events. Ask for their support, especially if you have family members who normally pressure you to eat “just a little more.”

Research And Try Healthier Recipe Options

There are thousands of healthy recipe options available with the click of your computer mouse. Try a few before the holidays begin so you know what you like. I made a lower calorie stuffing, healthier pumpkin bread, and added new salad dishes to our holiday meals. Everyone liked them, and I created new family traditions that continue to this day.

Join A Fitness Group Now

If you are not already part of a fitness group, find one now. Sign up for a short-term gym membership, find a fitness boot camp in your area, or get a group of friends together three times a week and go for a brisk walk.

Exercise not only burns calories, but is also good for you mentally.

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Sweat

Long Run Recovery: Things to Do Before You Hit the Couch

Ahhh the long run. Runners love to hate it and hate to love it.
Actually, I take that back, most of us love to love it. But I digress.
The long run, for those unfamiliar, is a workout typically done once per week when training for some sort of long distance race, such as a half marathon or above. The goal of the long run is to slowly build up the cardiovascular endurance and muscular strength necessary to cover 13.1 miles, 26.2 miles, or more by spending time on your feet and, more often than not, plenty of time in the aerobic zone (hence, the “slow” concept of the “long slow distance” ).
And while long runs are necessary, and some of us even find them fun, there is no denying that sometimes long runs can not only hurt but make you really hungry and tired.
So while no one can blame you for wanting to top your latest 15 miler off with a cold beer, potato chips, and a long nap on the couch, there are a few things you should probably do to ensure the best chance at proper recovery.
HYDRATE. And I don’t mean with a cold beer. Well at least, not quite yet. Rehydrating post workout is probably the most important thing you can, and need, to do. So instead of that beer, start instead with some water, and perhaps even an endurance-specific electrolyte recovery drink. The rule of thumb is to drink between 16 and 24 ounces of sports drink for every pound of body weight you lost during exercise. Proper hydration will not only help speed up recovery from your long run, but will help you avoid all of the uncomfortable, and sometimes dangerous, side effects of dehydration.
REFUEL. That is, eat something. Sure, it’s incredibly easy to justify an entire plate of bacon, a whole pizza, and a quart of ice cream when you just ran 20 miles. But keep in mind the food you consume post run is your best chance at refueling your muscles and aiding in recovery. So which would you rather reach for…something healthy or junk? Make smart choices: find something with a 4:1 carbohydrate to protein ratio to help replenish calories, nutrients, and glycogen stores as well as speed up muscle recovery. And as an added bonus: smart, healthy choices will help avoid the ever popular long run weight gain.
ACTIVE RECOVERY. Don’t worry, your Netflix marathon is coming soon, but don’t hit the couch quite yet First, give your legs a little bit of attention with light stretching or gentle massage. Hop on the foam roller, grab “The Stick,” or drop into your favorite yoga poses to help lengthen and relax your tense muscles. Avoid vigorous massage as it may damage the already injured muscle fibers. Take a short, easy walk to encourage blood flow to the muscles, which will help further stimulate recovery.
ICE BATH? This one is up to you. Researchers are still on the fence as to the benefits of an ice bath, but if you are up for the subjecting yourself to the icy cold torture of an ice bath, it might be worth a try. If you are new to the ice bath practice, check out the tips in this article “To Ice Bath or Not to Ice Bath: That is the Cold Question“, to ensure you go about it safely.
REST. Now you can finally prop those feet up. Take a nap, play an extended round of Candy Crush, read a book, do whatever you need to do to stay off of your feet for a while. Allow those muscles to relax as they begin to heal. But the key here is to not spend the rest of your day on the couch. After a while, consider going for a walk to get the blood flow circulating to those muscles once again (see “Active Recovery” above). I can assure you, it really does work. My worst post marathon recovery was when I spent 8 hours in a car almost immediately after the race. My best post marathon recovery was when I spent 8 hours walking around Disney World almost immediately after the race. Rest is important, but active recovery does help.
While the hard work is done during your long run, the hours and days after are where the progress in your running strength actually happens. While no one can blame you for having the “I just ran really, really far, I can eat/drink/do whatever I want” feelings, the choices you make post long run can really make or break your recovery and progress. Now, I’m certainly not saying to NOT treat yourself, I like my post long run I.P.A. as much as the next person. But making smart choices in your recovery the majority of the time will absolutely pay off on race day.

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Wellbeing

Finding Freedom In Your Grief

If you have ever experienced any kind of loss then you have also grieved. Anyone who has spent some time feeling the depth of pain that comes with death, heartbreak, or severe disappointment knows that the process of grieving is not to be taken lightly.
As with many issues for which we seek guidance and advice, there are a million opinions, strategies, and paradigms for healing what ails us. Greif has not escaped this, and everyone and their sister seems to have an opinion on what a griever needs to do to “recover.”
While grieving is a natural human experience, it’s also a learned practice. You develop your conditioning and beliefs around grief through the modeling you experience growing up. If you witnessed your parents crying behind closed doors, you would have learned that grieving should be hidden. If you saw a grieving family member take to bed for days on end after a loss, you would have learned that grief is disabling. You would also learn that grief is something to just “get over” if you witnessed someone close to you avoiding grief entirely.
I first started to really learn about the developmental process of grief in graduate school where I was introduced to Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ stages of grief, which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Since then I’ve personally experienced grief in many forms. I grieved the loss of my marriage, my health when I had cancer, and most recently I grieved the loss of my mother.
Each one of my losses invoked a different experience, and I quickly came to realize that everything I had learned about grief wasn’t really all that accurate. The truth is that grief is both universal and unique because each person has his or her own story and experience around loss. My own grief, combined with treating the depths of loss in my practice, drove me to receive a certificate in grief counseling. I wanted to deepen my understanding of grief, and even more specifically, how my clients should be expected to grieve the losses with which they were presented.
In my pursuit of a more flexible grieving model, I came across one important tidbit of information that changed everything for me.
Time doesn’t heal.
One of the most common comments grievers receive from the outside world is that the pain will pass with time. The real truth is that those who wait for the pain to fade end up stuck in their heartache without the proper tools to really move forward. I have also learned that when you lose someone close to you, the idea of their memory fading away is terrifying because you don’t want to forget someone you cherished. It’s true that memories become harder to recall with time, but time alone doesn’t heal.
The Grief Recovery Institute® defines grief as the conflicting emotions caused by an end or a change in a familiar pattern of behavior. We often forget that grief is actually an emotion because we’re encouraged to control it, stop it, get over it or move through it. Like all other emotions, grief needs to be processed and worked through for long-term healing to take place.
I would like to share some of the tips I learned while studying the Grief Recovery Method®, which guides people to the goal of discovering and completing what was left emotionally unfinished for them after a loss.
Here a few examples of steps you can take to move through the grief process with the intention of fully recovering:
1. Write a letter to the person you lost expressing any unsaid thoughts or feelings. Finding resolution and finishing the relationship are important pieces of the grieving puzzle.
2. Create a timeline of memories or a relationship graph that highlights all of the “sweet” and “sour” experiences you shared. Grievers naturally focus on the good, but it’s important to grieve the whole person, and that means good and bad.
3. Write a eulogy. Even if you’re not going to read or share it (or even if your grieving someone who is alive like with divorce), write a short remembrance of the person to become clear about what you want to hold on to as part of your memory.
4. Create a closing ritual to complete the loss. Some people release a balloon or send their letter out to sea. You can also write a poem and read it under the moon or create a treasure box to contain belongings you’ll be saving for memories.
The experience of grief is as unpredictable as it is universal, so let yourself explore the many rituals grievers can practice, and create a meaningful closure that’s just right for you.

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Lifestyle

A Paralyzed Woman Became a Fashion Designer and Revolutionized the Way of Jeans Forever!

Every day someone undergoes a life-altering experience, whether positive or negative. From the time we wake up and fall asleep, our world could quite possibly take an 180-degree turn, and that’s exactly what happened for Heidi McKenzie. Heidi was your everyday girl who enjoyed sports and other recreations. However, her life came to a halt in 2007 when she suffered injuries from a severe accident, paralyzing her from the waist down. Fortunately, she was the recipient of positivity and well-wishes as her support group aided in her mental discovery, but Heidi had one long-lasting qualm that couldn’t be solved through therapy or kind words – fashion. Heidi had already been a creative and fashion forward woman so when she realized her style choices were rather limited, specifically in finding pants that were both stylish and comfortable, she was not impressed. 

“Being adaptive and functional is what sells to those in wheelchairs so that is the main focus … cute is not a priority,” Heidi states. 

She knew that the majority of clothing wear for people in wheelchairs was catered toward the elderly, so skinny jeans or extreme flares are never an option when she’s on the market for a new outfit. As she was mulling this over she went on to graduate college, engage in various volunteer organizations, and she even won a beauty pageant! She was still in the fast lane in almost every aspect except for her jeans, and it finally became too much.

More than 3 million people are in wheelchairs in the United States alone, so Heidi decided to be the spokesperson for young Millennials that knew their life was only different by the chair they relied upon. Heidi partnered with designer Kristin Alexandra Tidwell to create jeans that are fashion-forward, comfortable, and easily accessible for people in wheelchairs. She titled it “Alter Ur Ego” and started a Kickstarter campaign that immediately took off raising more than 20k. They began creating jeans that have since been a wild success. These jeans look like your everyday pair, however, there is a comfortable elastic band that holds your stomach in since it’s impossible to suck in, and no one likes an unwanted pooch! The pockets are easier to access with them being placed lower on the leg and the cut is higher in the back so you don’t have any unwanted skin peeking through. The last invention is pure genius  – they manufactured an invisible catheter opening to avoid embarrassment yet still maintain the much-needed accessibility. 

Heidi is an inspiration to us all as she continues to look forward in life and pursue her love for designing items that people, who are in a similar situation as herself, can utilize. Her positivity and resolve is something we could all use a little more of in this world!