Month: September 2015

Categories
Wellbeing

How to Have a REALationship

Individually and as a society our relationships and marriages are imbedded with a variety of beliefs and expectations about what it means to be committed to another. For some of us being in a partnership equates with security, monogamy and eternal companionship. For others it’s a duty, natural next step or a requirement to have children.

Sometimes we’re aware of the reasons we commit, but more often then not we enter into a relationship with the assumption that our partner is on the same page, and with strong beliefs about what it means to be in a committed relationship.

I work extensively with divorce and it saddens me when I see the deep despair that comes with learning that the fantasy of what was to be is shattered by the reality of what is. One of the first exercises I do with a broken-hearted client working on ending their relational dreams is to list their beliefs about commitment to another person.

Here are some of the responses I get:

 – Marriage means forever.

– Monogamy is assumed.

– Lying is about distrust.

– Betrayal equates with divorce.

The commitments we make to another when we are ready to give ourselves over are what Elizabeth Nelson, Ph.D. calls “shadow vows”. She says, “these are the invisible promises we make that bind us to the other as tenaciously as the vows we speak out loud.”

Of course we make promises, both conscious and unconscious because it’s these very words that ground us in a sense of safety, and security in our relationships. Without these unconscious and conscious beliefs about relational life we could never enter into something so daring and courageous. The vows we make are the very foundation on which we build a life of love and dedication to one another.

These vows also give us a sense of control and understanding about what we’re supposed to expect or demand from our lovers, but there is one major flaw in our system. These self-imposed rules leave us feeling disappointed most of the time because human beings are imperfect, and highly unpredictable when it comes to behavior…particularly around love.

When you’re dealing with good intention and convoluting it with human behavior you have to be ready to make some adjustments and accommodations. So what is one to do about all of this? How do we enter into relationships consciously knowing that we can get hurt, have our hearts broken or feel betrayed at any time? These are great questions with some very simple answers.

Get real

Living in reality is not something we humans do easily. We like to create fantasies and fictitious stories that feed our minds with the ideas that allow us to feel safe. However, being honest with yourself about the risk that comes with love will not only make your relationship more exciting, it will deepen the appreciation you have for your devoted lover. In her book Mating in Captivity Esther Perel makes the claim that the greatest passion in a relationship comes from knowing you can lose your partner at any time.

Speak from the shadows

No matter what type of relationship you’re in it’s essential to have spoken vows and commitments. Having a sense of shared relationship values strengthens everything and it offers a starting point from which to build a healthy dynamic. Have the tough discussions about infidelity, dissatisfaction, annoying habits and any fears that are lurking beneath the pretty, polished fantasy in advance so when they surface (and they will) you have a clarity and a place to come back to.

Check your perfectionism at the door

In most relationships each person holds the same standards for their partner as they do for themselves. This is fine as long as your standards are realistic. If you have really high expectations and feel you need to be perfect than you’ll expect the same from your lover. Each person on this earth is flawed in some way because human beings are simply not perfect creatures. Get comfortable with your own fallibility and you’ll have a much easier go at the relationship.

It’s true that love is blind, but that doesn’t mean we have to walk off of a cliff. Instead of denial think about acceptance, and replace expectation with honesty. There is never a good reason in life to pretend that something is real when it’s not, and this is particularly true when it comes to love and relating.

Categories
Wellbeing

Is Solitude Really Good for Your Mental Health?

I recently looked into booking a trip for myself that I intended to take by myself. I like traveling alone, and I’m not afraid to go on an adventure solo. However, when I inquired about pricing I was being asked to pay an additional fee for a single room. I get the extra cost of having one to a room versus two, but I was forced to confront something that I had always known. In our culture we reward and encourage pairs, but when we journey alone we pay a premium for it.
I’ve done a lot of reading on solitude, loneliness, being single and being separate. I have also explored my own fears of being alone that strongly surfaced after the ending of my twenty-year marriage. Terrified of feeling alone combined with the humiliation of being alone left me in a pretty dark place.
Generally people avoid being alone due to fear and the risk of judgment. Many of us would rather be in bad company, tired and depleted than to look like an alienated loser. It’s no surprise that we avoid being alone and associate it with loss, rejection, loneliness, and a whole host of negative experiences when we live in a culture that promotes and rewards couples and family more than it does solitude.
Confusing loneliness and being alone is a big part of the confusion when it comes to this topic. Loneliness is an organic experience that we all feel at times in our lives. It usually surfaces after a loss or when our support systems are lacking, but we should expect to experience it on and off throughout the lifespan. It’s possible to feel lonely when alone, but it’s also possible to feel lonely in a group or even a marriage. We can also have moments of feeling alone in the world when it feels like no one understands what we’re going through.
Being alone can be as much a choice as it can be circumstantial. We can end up alone, but we can also choose to spend time in solitude for our own wellbeing. Solitude often just happens in our lives as well. Reading a book on the couch, taking an extra few minutes in the shower and even sitting in traffic create moments of solitude.

Pros and Cons

Spending time alone provides opportunity for deep personal reflection, and it also affords you the chance to rejuvenate and re-energize. Being around other people can be draining even for the most gregarious extrovert, and we all need time to replenish.
Spending time alone is not only an ancient practice among Buddhist monks, it has also become a prescription for many symptoms and mental health issues. Stressed out executives are finding great value in doing silent retreats and over-worked caregivers get the rest they need by spending time in solitude.
Just like a computer we need to shut down our brains for even short periods of time to get back to a place of clarity.
Spending time alone can sometimes be a negative practice particularly for people who are depressed and feel the tendency to isolate. Human beings are wired for relationships so we all need to have some form of connection in our lives. If being alone becomes more of a defense and an avoidant behavior than a way to improve wellbeing then it’s probably not the best practice. The driving force behind the time alone is good indicator as to whether it’s a healthy choice or a maladaptive behavior.

Fit or Flop

Overall spending time alone or in solitude is a good idea. Being alone feeds the soul and heals the heart, and it provides the opportunity to become quiet enough to listen to your own thoughts and feelings. It’s an essential part of our wellbeing to take time out and away from the daily barrage of input that overwhelms our minds to maintain the greatest sense of wellbeing.
As an individualistic culture we need to be mindful of our intention behind the seeking of solitude. We have a tendency to use time alone as an escape from social obligation unlike in the Buddhist culture where solitude is seen as an important and welcomed way to become evolved or enlightened. Being aware of intention is an important part of the process, and will ultimately have impact on the level of benefit that comes with the time spent alone.

Categories
Sweat

14-Year-Old Amputee Ignites Global Support For Disabled Athletes

Ben Baltz, now 14-years-old, was tragically diagnosed with osteosarcoma at age six. His parents were devastated by the news and even more chagrined when doctors informed them that the only way to effectively treat the cancer was through amputation. A whirlwind quickly ensued, especially since osteosarcoma is such an unpublicized disease, that was ultimately filled with hope and strength. 

The What

Osteosarcoma is a bone cancer that occurs in approximately 3% of children. It’s a fairly aggressive cancer which begins within the bone and then spreads, sometimes even latching onto the lungs. Osteosarcoma develops from the osteoblasts, which are the cells that assist bone growth. Occasionally, there will be a defect within the DNA causing cancer to form and spread. Typically osteosarcoma is seen in children who have recently gone through a growth spurt as the osteoblasts are raging during this time. It’s fairly easy to recognize this disease as your child’s limb will begin to swell or break due to the weakening of the bone. Treatment is fairly aggressive with chemotherapy being the go-to solution followed by a surgery to remove the affected bone, culminating in a final round of chemo. In many cases, the surgery is fairly conservative, but there are times, as seen in Ben’s case, where amputation is the only option (Kids Health).

Burst of Hope

That’s where Ben comes in. At age six, Ben had to undergo a surgery that most of us will never experience or fully understand. Not even knowing what cancer was, six-year-old Ben had his lower right leg amputated. For a very active child, this could have been crippling both mentally and physically. However, Ben found a deep well of strength, and a year later he received the greatest gift of all – a prosthetic. And from that moment forward he has dipped in and out of the spotlight: befriending a three-legged pony, being carried across a finish line when his prosthetic failed, and, most recently, holding his father’s hand as he competed in his tenth triathlon. 

Because of his viral popularity, he has been able to impact countless children and adults across the globe. Not only has he survived his battle with cancer, but he’s thriving and growing in the sports arena. 

“I never thought I would ever get cancer — never had heard of cancer until I got it — and never thought I would be able to keep participating in triathlons,” Ben said. “But all of those came out to be true and here I am — cured of cancer, running, biking, swimming and even surfing. My amputation hasn’t stopped me, or even slowed me down. It only brought me obstacles, all of which I have overcome” (Today). 

If that’s not some inspirational 14-year-old wisdom, then I don’t know what is. Ben’s father, JC, describes his son as being an inspiration not only to disabled athletes but to himself as well. There is nothing more motivating than pushing through a vigorous run and not giving up because you know that someone out there has it worse off than you, yet they are still able to persevere and succeed.

About That Photo

In 2013, Ben and JC were competing in a triathlon when it began pouring down rain. Ben was starting to feel fatigued as he was racing up a hill. In a moment of pure effort and exhaustion, JC grasped his son’s hand to give him the added boost he needed to conquer that slippery slope. That’s when the viral photo of Ben and JC was captured and since then it has resurfaced sparking the conversation of prosthetics. Ben and thousands of other people have been able to live everyday lives, filled with sports and other recreational activities. The necessity of health coverage for these amazing prosthetics has never been more crucial. What better gift could a person receive than the ability to continue living their lives normally? Ben has confronted many obstacles but never once has he given up. Even in this time of spotlight he continues to shy away from the camera, directing the attention to all of the other children and adults who deserve just as much admiration as he himself has received. This boy is one amazing human and gives us amazing hope for our future in both medicine and technology.  

Categories
Sweat

Look Hot While Working Out With These Gym Clothes Hacks (and no, not the sweaty kind of hot!)

When you hit the trails, treadmill, or yoga studio you’re not going for a fashion show but to get fit. However, and it’s a huge however, style is pretty important to many females, myself included, and it doesn’t have to be sacrificed during the throes of sweat and grit. How discouraging is it when you head to the gym with your old and shapeless gear? You’re lying on the mat about to do your 300th core movement when a girl lies down beside you. She has perfect form, like you, but her clothes are workout perfection: tight tank, sleek cropped pants, and, quite possibly, shoes that are brighter than the sun itself. You push aside your clothing envy and keep pressing on, but if you’re honest with yourself, that annoyance you feel at someone for getting “dressed up” for the gym is just a facade for the envy you actually are feeling.
“How is it possible?” your inner-fashion queen wails. “And why do I care?”
But, it’s actually beneficial when you’re dripping in swag as you head to the gym. Working out in style not only motivates but also gives a boost in confidence for those trying to burn the cals. And if you’re feeling on top of the world, chances are your workout performance is going to skyrocket as well! Cute workout clothes are not only necessary for the fashion diva inside all of us, but keeping your wardrobe up to date can also improve your health! Regularly tossing old and worn clothes can cut down on the bad odors that crop up during a sweaty workout, plus it’s crucial that you trade in some new kicks every six months. This helps prevent injury and keeps well-balanced support for your tootsies.
“But I’d rather spend my money on something else!”
Sure you would, we all would, but investing in a few pair of statement pieces for the gym really isn’t the end of the world. Once you have some eye-catching staples you’ll be all set to sweat! Just watch, you’ll be a lot happier heading to your next workout; you might even catch yourself doing a slight strut. Here’s all you need to know for what to buy and how to wear it!

Bottoms/Tops

There are a few options for bottoms when working out, and it’s all up to your personal preference.
Tight cropped workout pants are a great universal choice. They’re form fitting so nothing gets caught, plus these pants typically have a fantastic wicking system. A universal black pant is a must, but so is a statement pair as well. There are a plethora of options ranging from subtle animal print, mesh inserts, and all the way to neon brights. Buy one, buy five, it doesn’t matter, but invest in at least one pair because they’re a great statement piece. Typically you’ll be able to rotate any style of shirt with them, whether they’re tight or flowy.
Shorts are another must have for your activities, and these are easy to spice up as well. You can buy an already patterned and glowing print, or you could get a little creative. Buy a neon pair of thin tight shorts, similar to biking shorts, and place them underneath your shorts. They’ll not only peek out, but they will also serve as great protection while you do your floor workouts!
Tops are even more versatile than pants. Personally I only purchase a few simple tops because, since I usually wear rather understated pants, I like my tops to be the focal points. Also, I typically invest in bright and fun sports bras. I always love a little bit of color or design peeking out, plus in the dog days of summer I just run in my sports bra! Although that may send you running in the OPPOSITE direction don’t! It can be a good motivator to love your body and also motivate you to work on firming up a bit.
P.S. When you’re headed to and from your workout location in the cooler months it’s always nice to have at least one cute pair of sweats and a jacket.

Hair Care

Quite frankly, when I’m working out, my hair is the last thing I’m concerned about. I do get mildly bored with the ponytail, but it’s not like I’m going to wear it down! Well here are some tips to make your hair a little less blah. Why not try a fishtail braid, or if that’s a bit too ambitious try a french one instead. A topknot isn’t just for a classy night out. You can easily wear one to the gym with a tight band and a hint of  hairspray. For those you live and breathe exercise why not try an undercut? An undercut is when part of your head is shaved. I actually have had one for close to a year now. I shaved the underlayer of my hair and every few weeks my stylist shaves a design into it. It’s perfect for me because I have loads of hair so this little pieces hasn’t been missed. Just go to the gym, throw your hair in a bun, and you have an automatic design to display! Or if accessories are more your jam why not try a hairband or a stretchy cloth hair tie. It’s the little things that add up!

Kicks

Neon and bright shoes are so easy to find! You almost have to try and find some boring shoes. But hey, a girl likes to change things up. One idea to make your sneaks stick out is to buy some different laces that way you can change up colors and ensure that the fit of your shoe remains snug when they wear out.

Accessories

Finally, another way to spice up your workout style is to tote around a reusable water bottle. Not only is this amazing for the environment, but since they have such a wide variety you can easily find one that speaks to your style. Some other ideas are investing in wacky earphones, slick phone holders, and workout trackers.
Hopefully at least one of these has given you some style inspiration! Now get out there and rock it!!

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Will Weight Loss Surgery Fix Your Life?

One of the most common questions people ask me when they discover I lost 158 pounds is whether I had weight loss surgery.
The answer to that question is “No, I did not.”
Personally, I did not have surgery for several reasons.
1) I am afraid of surgery in general.
2) Weight loss surgery was not as common when I was obese.
3) I could not afford it.
4) I had a feeling I could do lose weight myself.
Although I lost weight without surgery, there are over 175,000 people who underwent weight loss surgery in 2013, according to the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery (ASMB). Of those people, over half of them will regain at least 5 percent of their lost weight after 2 years.
You may be one of the many people who hope that having weight loss surgery will fix everything. You may hope you will easily lose weight after surgery, you won’t have to think about food as much, and everything that frustrates you about your life will be fixed after surgery.
Some of those things do happen – sometimes.
·      The reality is that losing weight through a surgical procedure does not always fix your weight problem. Most people will lose weight initially after the surgery but the weight loss can stall or stop completely if dietary changes are not maintained. And as the ASMB indicated, about half the patients regain some weight.  There may be a need for further surgery to adjust the mechanism helping you control your food intake.
·      Weight loss surgery cannot fix your emotional dependence on food or take away food cravings. Surgery makes it harder for you to eat large quantities of food without feeling ill, but the emotions and cravings are still present.
·      Friends and family members may miss the “old you.” Instead of being supportive, you may have some people in your life who wish you can eat like you used to and participate fully in celebrations that revolve around food.
·      You may find yourself sad or depressed when faced with the types of foods you can eat. It is a hard transition for many people to go from eating whatever they want to being required to follow a very strict diet post surgery.
I have known a lot of people who underwent weight loss surgery and were frustrated with their life post-surgery. In many of those cases, the person did not prepare emotionally for the changes that were about to take place.
Most reputable weight loss surgery centers require some type of pre-surgical counseling to ensure that patients have a complete understanding of what the surgery entails and what their food habits must be after surgery. However, even with counseling, some people are ill-prepared for the reality of eating small amounts of food and the difficulty associated with eating some of their favorite high fat foods.
In a lot of ways, the process to lose weight after surgery is similar to losing weight without surgery. Both require diligence to food choices, exercise when permitted by a doctor, reducing portion sizes, and addressing the emotional component of weight issues.
Although weight loss surgery will not automatically fix your life, you can make weight loss surgery work for you by researching your options thoroughly, getting counseling for emotional eating issues, and following your doctor’s dietary guidelines carefully. Remember that weight loss surgery is simply a tool you can use to get to a healthy weight. It is your responsibility to stay there.

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Inside The Experience Of Reflexology Massage

Being in the fitness and wellness industry I try to take care of myself. Like most of you though, there are times when I give out to the point that my tank runs empty and I am in desperate need of refilling. This happened recently and I thought wouldn’t a reflexology massage be amazing right now! So, off I went to my local Massage Envy spa and what an amazing therapeutic experience I had. I was relaxed from head to toe as if I actually had a full body massage.
After my amazing reflexology experience I decided to look a bit of deeper into this method of massage to find out where it originated from and how it came to be.  Let’s start with what it really is, reflexology is a type of therapeutic massage.
Reflexology deals with the principle that there are reflexes in the feet, hands, and ears relative to each and every organ and all parts of the body.  Stimulating these reflexes properly can help many health problems in a natural way.  For instance my reflexologist performed a general reflexology massage, where she focused on the feet, hands, and ears.
Here are a few examples of reflexology points that are found on the feet:

  • The tips of the toes are related to the head.
  • The reflexology points on the ball of the foot are connected to the chest and the heart.
  • You will find the reflexology points of the intestines and lower back on, the heel of the foot.
  • The reflexology points of the pancreas, liver, and kidney are found on the arch of the foot.

Reflexology massage therapists focus point’s areas on the feet, hands, and ears that correspond to specific organs, bones, and muscles of the body. Did you know the outer part of your ear cartilage is in direct reference to the spinal column?  Next time your back is feeling a little sore, trying massaging your outer ear to release those tight back muscles.
Doctors have agreed that over 75% of our health problems can be linked to our nervous stress. Reflexology improves nerve and blood supply to the feet and organs throughout the body. It’s a great way to help relieve foot pain, ankle pain, plantar fasciitis and common forms of arthritis, as well as decrease stress and anxiety in the entire body.
I found that the idea of reflexology is not new, in fact, it was practiced as early as 2330 B.C. by the Egyptian culture.  Reflexology symbols are also thought to be recorded on the feet of statues of Buddha in India and later China. Who had any idea this amazing therapeutic form of massage has been around for so long?
Chinese doctors believe that our bodies are composed of the opposing forces of Yin and Yang that need to work in harmony for us to achieve health and vitality.  Chinese practitioners believe that when these energy channels become blocked a person can feel sick or fatigued.  Reflexology aims to dissolve and or release any blockages causing ill-health by encouraging the free flow of vital energy through the body.
If you enjoy regular massages then you will for sure enjoy the therapeutic benefits of foot Reflexology massage.  As with any therapeutic service the benefits are greater when experienced on a consistent basis. The more you go, the healthier you feel.
Trust me, your body will thank you.

Categories
Wellbeing

I'm an Adult with Night Terrors

I remember the first time the night terrors started. I don’t recall exactly what the first one was, but the one that stands out the most was seeing a confederate soldier standing in the bedroom and the next thing I know my husband is holding me and trying to wake me up. Normally, I have to have the room completely dark in order to sleep, but after waking up from a night terror there was no way I could turn the light back off. The fear (the terror) would stay with me long after the image faded. There were many over that period, I saw my dead grandmother, I saw weird random shapes zooming in through the window, I saw scary people (and people who shouldn’t have been scary at all). That period of night terrors lasted several months during 2008. Thankfully, they went away as fast as they started, once we determined what was causing them.

What are night terrors?

It’s important to understand that night terrors are very different than the common nightmare which occurs during REM sleep. Night terrors typically occur during non-REM sleep and may be caused by a slight waking during the transition between sleep stages. Because parts of your brain are still asleep and parts are awake, it may be that a part of the dream you were having seeped into your consciousness as you wakened slightly, making those elements appear in the real world around you. This gives a whole new understanding to “Nightmare on Elm Street” doesn’t it?

Night terrors are most common in small children and may be the reason why you find your child screaming in the middle of the night certain that there is a monster in the closet, or a person looking in the window, even though that window is closed with a blind over it so that the child couldn’t see the person if they were really out there. While they are most common in children, night terrors can also occur in adults, although they are extremely rare.

Night terrors are not just difficult for the person who experiences them, they are hard on everyone who has to live with that person. The screams that typically accompany the night terrors will wake anyone in the house, and may wake the neighbors depending on how close they are. I’ve woken up with sore throats from the screams that accompany my night terrors.

A person experiencing a night terror is often difficult to wake. They are screaming yet they are asleep. They are seeing the room around them yet they are not fully conscious.

What causes night terrors?

The most common cause of night terrors is simply stress. But, as I found, there are other causes. A number of medications can cause night terrors, including antihistamines which disrupt the sleep cycles. Some blood pressure medications can also cause night terrors. That bout of night terrors I suffered in 2008 was the result of antihistamines. The night terrors returned again just a few months ago and while they disappeared just as quickly I’m still unsure of the cause. It may have been a blood pressure medication, or even stress.

Night terrors have also been linked to migraines, restless leg syndrome, gastric reflux, and sleep apnea. Adults who suffer from night terrors also commonly have a history of anxiety or depression. It is unknown if these links show a potential cause and effect, or if it’s simply a matter of having one increases the likelihood of having the other.

Can you stop night terrors?

Children who suffer from night terrors typically outgrow it. Adults, like myself, that live with night terrors may not be so lucky. If you can find the cause you might be able to stop the night terrors by removing it.

Some suggestions include waking the person up about 90 minutes after they fall asleep, this is the time they would usually wake with the night terror. Doing so can prevent the night terror, but it can also disrupt their sleep cycles and there’s no guarantee they won’t just have the night terror during a later cycle. Some sleep medications can also help prevent night terrors, but again these disrupt the sleep cycle, which can lead to daytime sleepiness and mental fogginess.

Sometimes they just stop on their own. This is typically the case for children who eventually “outgrow” the night terrors.

If you are an adult with night terrors, take a close look at the medications you are using. Research each one to see it may disrupt sleep cycles, or cause night terrors. And, don’t be embarrassed to talk to your doctor about what you are dealing with. He may be able to help you find the answer and stop the night terrors.

Categories
Nosh Nutrition x Advice

Should Fasting Be Part of Your Weight Loss Strategy?

Fasting for religious purposes dates back thousands of years as evidenced by references to fasting in ancient writings. Fasting for weight loss may not date back nearly as far, but the concept of fasting for weight loss is not new. In recent years, there has been a resurgence of traditional and intermittent fasting for weight loss and health.
Definitions of Fasting
The definition of fasting is simple: Fasting is abstaining from all food for a period of time. For simplicity sake, I like to think of traditional fasting as not eating for 24 hours and intermittent fasting as not eating for 12 to 18 hours.
Both types of fasting can work for weight loss but intermittent fasting is often easier to manage and allows you to eat normally for two meals each day.
What Are Some Benefits?
Fasting the right way can benefit your weight loss efforts. When you fast, your body uses glycogen for energy first and then fat stores. This can translate into losing pounds over time. Some people find that short-term fasting increases their energy levels and motivates them to exercise.
An important benefit that is not often discussed is that fasting can help you break a cycle of unhealthy eating. You may find that your cravings for sweets diminish and staying away from tempting foods for a time increases your confidence level in your ability to make healthy food choices.
What Are Some Downsides?
Fasting for more than 24 hours can cause health problems. Your immune system does not function as well, you will feel tired, and you may have nausea, or experience joint pain. Additionally, if you are like I am, resuming eating after a lengthy fast can trigger extreme cravings and a desire to binge.
And of course if that happens, you probably will not want to binge on fruits and vegetables but on unhealthy foods.
Another potential downside is that lengthy fasting can slow down your metabolic rate, which reduces how quickly your body burns calories. That’s not what you want when losing weight. A fix for this is to fast for shorter intervals so your metabolism stays strong and quick.
Do You Always Lose Weight?
Regular fasting, whether for 24 hours at a time or following an intermittent fasting schedule, can result in weight loss provided your overall calorie intake is within weight loss levels. For example, if you require 2,000 calories a day to maintain your weight you need 14,000 calories a week. Not eating anything for a day saves 2,000 calories but if you make up for those calories by eating more the other six days, you will not lose weight.
How to Make It Work
If you want to try fasting, I recommend following an intermittent fasting schedule where you fast for 12 to 18 hours at a time. For me, that would mean skipping breakfast and eating my first meal around lunchtime. Then I would eat an afternoon snack and dinner at 7:00 p.m. I would stop eating after dinner and fast until lunchtime the next day.
The key to using fasting as a weight loss tool is to plan your fasting times carefully, commit to not overeating as you come off the fast, and to drink plenty of water or other zero calorie drinks during your fasting time.

Categories
Wellbeing

The Art of Loving Unconditionally

Love, when your northern star becomes embodied in someone’s flesh. It’s passionate, angry, ever-changing, and worth it.

Love goes through stages- some filled with energy and others with contentment. But the three basic stages have transcended time and philosophy: Romantic, realistic, and content love. 

When you get hit by Cupid’s arrow you can hardly see straight. You’re sickeningly in love (consequently making everyone else feeling wildly uncomfortable). This “honeymoon phase” can last for days, weeks, even years, but inevitably that high will wear off. Some find this terrifyingly depressing, whereas, once you hit this point, this explanation becomes incredibly reassuring. However, you’re inevitably going to grapple with the decision: do you keep going down this path together or do you split your separate ways? Neither one is a bad decision, but if you do decide to stick together you better be prepared for some grueling challenges. 

Generation Y 

Loving someone consistently requires effort. When you’ve come down from your “love sick” high you realize that giving back rubs and going to all of their favorite movies doesn’t come quite as easily. Being a Generation Y adult has taught me that romance should be fast and furious. When things stop feeling good it’s best to drop it and move to the next one. Why? Because we’re young, life is short, and why settle when you can have something even better? This image seemed so glittering and bright during college. Why yes, I should be treated better. CYA! I began to even title my serial dating as a feminist act; I’m not putting up with your insensitivity and lack of attention. I graduated college and held that same mind frame as I entered the workforce, but, as often comes with time, I realized that this glittering and bright idea was becoming dulled and tarnished. I was beginning to see that this instant gratification plan wasn’t working quite so well for me.

Loving Unconditionally

Love is hard, and what’s even harder is loving unconditionally. The art of loving varies from person to person, but at its core is an understanding that love is a two party system. It’s filled with compromise and trust. There will be times, more times than you care to count, that someone will hurt you, whether intentional or unintentional. Yet displaying your love, through thick and thin, is quite possibly more moving than the sweetest word or the softest kiss.

Being slow to anger is a perfect testament to the respect you hold for your partner. You may have quite a storm raging within, but when you practice and exude a state of clarity you’re reinforcing your commitment in being understanding and patient. 

Forgiveness is another tactic you can implement. Sometimes it may be for something small, like forgetting to take out the trash, and at other times it may be for something huge, like cheating. Whatever it is, if you’re able to muster up forgiveness, or at least a veneer of forgiveness until you’ve had more time to process, your love will be heard at an incredible volume. 

However, loving unconditionally isn’t just based upon actions it’s also your mental state of mind. Equip yourself with the knowledge that there may be times when you want to quit, but it’s important to remember the good times amidst the bad. Don’t let abandonment be an option. Having an accessible way out tends to stifle any sort of real effort. Expectations and standards are necessary, but it’s crucial that these expectations aren’t unattainable. If so, you’re setting YOURSELF up for failure as you will never be satisfied. 

We’re Not Perfect

When I hear of loving unconditionally it sounds to me like it is only attainable for those who are able to love without any faults or hiccups, but loving unconditionally is not synonymous to being a perfect lover. There have been many times where I have been guilty of exploding on my partner or becoming increasingly aggravated at the way the toothbrush is placed in the medicine cabinet. The art behind loving unconditionally is the intentions you set for yourself. No matter how many times you may become irritated you keep pushing through and realize that we’re all human. Loving unconditionally can be found in our sincere attempts to do what makes our partner happy and being quick to admit personal flaws. If we have failures than our person is going to have them too.

So, how can you love unconditionally? Never give up, keep yourself vulnerable, and be honest with yourself and your person. If you’re able to love your partner at their worst that is the ultimate symbol of genuine love. Letting go of their flaws and embracing the big and little things that make them who they are will skyrocket your relationship from a realistic love to one that’s filled with contentment. 

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Lifestyle

A Guide To Recycling Better Than Your Neighbor

Blue bins line the street as I step out the door for work. My neighbors so diligently recycle, and, consequently, I had felt the peer pressure and began to do it myself. At first it turned into my second trashcan. Things I was a little unsure of I’d toss in there because, why not? I mean if it looks recyclable it probably is…right? However, I recently tried to get rid of my broken Swiffer. It’s plastic, and plastic is recyclable, but to my dismay they completely refused my trash deposits for the week. I didn’t understand, maybe it was a glitch, but everyone else had their trash cans already stowed away for the week. Little did I know that there were strict and specific rules for recycling. As I became more informed I felt vaguely annoyed that I wasn’t able to recycle everything that was biodegradable, it seemed like such a waste. However, recycling organizations were emphatic if not overly persistent that this was the only way considering most recycling plants have switched sorting over to machines. Okay, okay I’ll give them that.

But you know what’s an even bigger shame? How so many recyclable materials are scrapped because they haven’t properly been thrown away or emptied. Or, god forbid, someone had attempted to sneak in unrecyclable material…just for fun? Why intentionally put something in a recycling bin that you know isn’t going to fly with the recycling department? So, let’s all set down our hypodermic needles and take a seat. Below I’ve listed a few sweet and salty tips on what you can and can’t do while recycling (Washington Post).

Remove That Pizza Box

Yeah, you read that right. No. Pizza. Boxes. Allowed. When I first read this my mind was blown. Kaboom! Well, the reason behind why is pretty incredible. Evidently, food is one of the greatest foes to the recycling industry, specifically for paper products. Paper is recycled by having water mixed with it eventually turning it into a nice wet slurry. Now let’s go back to elementary school, or even back to your dinner last night. Water and oil don’t mix, just take a look at your vinaigrette if you’re still unconvinced. I’m assuming you see the issue. Grease from pizza boxes (oil) prevents the slurry from forming causing chunks of cardboard to be floating around the slurry. This is not great news for recycling manufacturers. Even though many of your pizza boxes claim to be recyclable, technically they are before the pizza is placed within, just use a rule of thumb and trash it the traditional way (Recyclebank). 

Clearly, just because something is technically recyclable doesn’t mean it fits America’s recycling qualifications. Take for example Christmas tree lights, can you imagine what a tangly mess that can make for a recycling machine? Unfortunately, recycling processes are still being developed so until they’ve become perfect follow the rules! 

Avoid Helping

Although this is a bit tongue in cheek it’s also true. Recycling plants do NOT want you bagging your recyclables. They have to rip apart every bag to inspect the items making sure they don’t contain prohibited contents that will damage the machinery further down the conveyer belt. Also, those bags have a tendency to get all caught up in the machinery, clogging the machinery, and forcing employees to shut down the system for hours while they handpick bags from the machine’s levers. A lot of times team members don’t have time to sift through each bag so perfectly recyclable material may just be tossed into a landfill to avoid slowing down the recycling process (Washington Post). 

No Need To Quench Your Thirst

I typically followed the practice of making sure all my water bottles, soda cans, and containers were liquid free. I’ve gone so far as to rummage in my recycling bin because I accidentally threw away a half empty soda. But did you know a few drops of liquid inside a bottle is actually a great thing? When your plastic bottles are going down the long conveyor belt there’s a lot of motion and wind. There are quite a few times where a bottle may go zooming across the room because it’s so light and has nothing weighing it down. When your bottles finally get underneath the crushers and balers all of the excess liquid will instantly be dispersed, proving no problem with their usability. 

Go The Extra Mile

Sometimes recycling is your extra mile. Although it seems simple enough, all of those extra seconds you spend sorting and tossing add up. Recycling is crazy good for our environment. You’re taking those renewable resources and recycling them for another round of use. We’re constantly making more and more “things” from raw materials and eventually those items are going to become scarce, like trees. 

Let’s say that recycling has become old hat for you. How can you go the extra mile? Well, check to see if you have recycling plants nearby that offer sorting bins. Make the extra effort to head that way and toss your sorted glass, metals, paper, and electronics. This will help expedite the recycling process and avoid any unknown mishaps on your part.

Give Back 

Composting is about to make a huge surge becoming equivalent in popularity with recycling. Environmentalists are saying that the organic material rotting in landfills are producing the third biggest source of methane gas. If this keeps occurring at the same or an increasing rate, it will eventually play a part in global warming. Instead of raking and tossing your grass clippings and leaves place them in a compost. Eventually, this will turn into nutrient-rich soil that’s perfect for your garden activities. You can feel proud that you not only created your own fertilizer, but that you most likely saved money on store bought fertilizers, as well. 

Recycling is a little more complex than just tossing your plastic bottles into a bin, but if you take two minutes out of your day to become informed you’ll be doing yourself and your children a great service by respecting the earth and treating it well.