Most of us have negative reactions to certain sounds, the most famous of which is probably chalk or fingernails on a blackboard. (Interestingly, as chalk and blackboards go the way of the floppy disk, many people are just as bothered by the sound of dry erase markers squeaking on whiteboards.) But there’s a big difference between feeling annoyed by specific sounds and wanting to kill the person making them. If you fit into the latter category, you may have a condition called misophonia, literally the hatred of specific sounds.
Misophonia (sometimes called selective sound sensitivity syndrome) has been around for as long as humans have had ears. But it wasn’t until 2002, when neurologists Pawel and Margaret Jastreboff coined the term, that the scientific community recognized and named this condition.
Arjan Schröder and his colleagues at the University of Amsterdam did an exhaustive study of misophonia and found that the most common trigger sounds fall into several categories: eating-related sounds (chewing, lip smacking, gum popping, soup slurping, ice crunching), breathing-related sounds (sniffing, snoring), and repeated sounds (fingers on a keyboard, foot tapping, pen clicking, candy unwrapping).
Misophonia typically starts in the tween years and may affect as much as 20 percent of the population. Early on, reactions to the offending sounds typically start with irritation or disgust, but as the patient gets older, these can quickly morph into anger and physical or emotional aggression (which, unfortunately, some people act on). What also grows with age is the list of trigger sounds.
Almost all misophonia sufferers describe feeling out of control and recognize that their reactions to the trigger sounds are excessive. Interestingly, in most cases people with misophonia experience these reactions only when the sounds are made by other people, not when they’re the ones making them.
Unfortunately, there’s no surefire cure for misophonia. But many misophonics have discovered workarounds, such as avoiding situations where they’re likely to encounter offending sounds. For example, someone who can’t stand the sound of popcorn chomping would probably do well to stay out of movie theaters. Others use earplugs or devices that produce color noise (what we call “white noise” is just sound at a particular frequency that can block out other sounds–some misophonics need a different “color”).
But what do you do when you can’t stand the sound of your wife’s breathing or your child’s sniffling? As you can imagine, misophonia can result in strained relationships and even divorce.
Medical professionals and scientists have had some success with other approaches, including desensitization therapy (gradual exposure to the trigger sound), hypnosis, and cognitive behavioral therapy.
Although misophonia may sound rather dismal, there may be a silver lining: Researchers at Northwestern University in Illinois did a study with 100 subjects and found that creativity and intelligence are strongly correlated with the inability to filter out unwanted or irrelevant sounds (what they called “leaky sensory gating”). They point to a number of highly creative people—including Franz Kafka, Charles Darwin, Anton Chekhov, and Marcel Proust—all of whom complained bitterly about noise. According to the study’s lead author, Darya Zabelina, “Creative people with ‘leaky’ sensory gating may have a propensity to deploy attention over a wider focus or a larger range of stimuli.”
Month: January 2016
Over the course of your life, you learned how to be you. You did this by taking in both verbal and nonverbal information from your environment and the people around you. If you were lucky you were told that you’re pretty, smart, popular, or funny. If you were surrounded by critical, judgmental people you might have heard that you’re lazy, unattractive, weird, or a nuisance. When you’re young you don’t really question these external perceptions, in part because they come from people you trust and also because when you hear something often enough you really do believe it.
You also learned from role models about the world and how to exist in it You took in lessons about relating, love, marriage, friendship, and how to be a citizen in your community. Role modeling is a powerful influence and deeply informs how you believe the world works. If you witnessed sacrifice as part of how people love each other, you’ll feel that being in a loving relationship means giving up parts of yourself. If you saw your role models cut friends off after a misunderstanding, you may have some of the same tendencies. You learned that this is how things are done. This digested and internalized information shapes your belief systems and how you experience the world now as an adult.
Although some of these beliefs and self-perceptions are challenged and shift throughout life, we all continue to exist under the some of the spells from our childhood messaging. They are spells because they have been cast on you without your awareness, and when there is no awareness there is no opportunity for breaking them. These spells are dangerous because they pull you in directions that aren’t in your best interest and drive your choices in ways that may not serve your greater good. Uncovering your spells is like breaking free of brainwashing. You’ve been conditioned (intentionally or unintentionally) to believe things without any real evidence that they are true.
Breaking a spell takes courage and strength. Beliefs are strong and sturdy; similar to habits, they have to be broken many times before they actually fall away. Unlike the spells you’ve watched or read about in fairy tales, you don’t have to depend on someone else to come along and rescue you. The spells you are under are not curses, they are a natural byproduct of your developmental process. Breaking your spells will awaken you to the reality of who you are, how you need to live, and how to relate to the world around you.
While there are many spells that can be cast, there are three that haunt almost everyone.
The spell of perfectionism
“I need to be perfect to find love.”
The need to be perfect has its source in upbringing and in modern culture. It often stems from a strong need to please others and to find approval from the external world. Many of us are under a spell that tricks us into believing that if we aren’t perfect we’re bad. Realizing that there is no such thing as “perfect” and that so much beauty is found in imperfection will help you begin to break this spell.
The spell of unworthiness
“My worth is a reflection of my success.”
This spell teaches us that self-worth comes from what we accomplish and how successful we are. The truth is that real self-worth comes from knowing that you belong and that you matter. When we feel important to other people because of who we are instead of what we offer we can know the real feeling of self-worth. Begin breaking this spell by getting connected to your value as a human being, and be sure that this value is acknowledged by the people you spend time with.
The spell of self-doubt
“I’m not sure if I’m capable of living my dream.”
The spell of self-doubt is one of the most debilitating and painful because it blocks you from going after the life you deserve. The spell of “not good enough” can be passed down through generations of self-doubters, or it can be cast by people who are threatened by your power and success. Overcoming the spell of self-doubt will require you to become very familiar with your own capabilities while also seeking out positive role models who have pushed through these negative self-perceptions to find the life they deserve.
We can all recite the top things that cause us stress, yes? Money, jobs, and relationships are always on our mind. Inevitably these are some of the most popular things we point to as causes of chronic stress. What about the effects? If you were to ask around, most people would say that stress–worrying about these things–makes you sick. It clogs our arteries, hurts our immune system, and causes all kinds of illness, right? Well, actually, not exactly. Some very exciting research is pointing toward the fact that it isn’t stress that causes all these things. It is, in reality, what we believe about stress that does.
This is a subtle yet powerful difference in understanding the effects of stress. Let’s say you are worried about whether your relationship is going to last. If you believe that worrying will be harmful to your health, then it will be. But if you believe that concern about your relationship will give you the courage to deal with it, the effects on your body will be very different. They will be beneficial rather than harmful.
The degree to which our beliefs and temperament can influence our physical condition was first dramatically demonstrated by the Nun Study, which looked at the impact of positive emotions and attitude on longevity and well-being. Researchers chose to study hundreds of sisters because they live together, have regularized diets, no children, and typically do not smoke or drink to excess–perfect subjects for a study. The investigation looked at the degree to which a positive or negative approach to life would affect lifelong physical health. The dramatic results show that attitude can profoundly influence not only the quality but also the length of our life.
The scientists analyzed autobiographies the sisters had written seeking entry into the convent as young women from the 1930s and 1940s. They looked at sentences for positive, negative, and neutral words and a variety of positive emotional expressions. The analysis took place nearly 60 years later when the nuns were between 75 and 94 years old. What the researchers found about how positive feelings affect longevity was nothing short of amazing. At age 85, 90 percent of the most cheerful quartile were still alive, while only 34 percent of the bottom quarter survived. At age 94 the numbers were even more striking, with 54 percent of the top quartile still alive–compared to 11 percent of their less optimistic counterparts. The probability of survival was consistently in favor of the more positive nuns. The investigation shows there is a direct relationship between positive beliefs and longevity. So, it seems that having a positive attitude can affect our health–but what about our attitude toward stress itself? How does that affect us?
It is what we think is happening to us that determines our reaction. This perspective is a game-changer. In one study involving 30,000 people, researchers asked a simple question: “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” In this study, the highest rates of mortality were for those who’ve experienced a high degree of stress and believed it was harmful to their health.
In this eight-year study, those with the lowest risk of dying had the same high rates of stress as their counterparts, but didn’t believe stress was bad for you. To put this in perspective, this would put the belief that stress is bad for you among the top 15 causes of death in the U.S., killing more people than HIV/AIDS, skin cancer, and homicide. As it turns out, modifying our thoughts and beliefs about how stress affects our health may be one of the healthiest things we can do.
Kelly McGonigal (How To Make Stress Your Friend) is a health psychologist from Stanford University who has been studying the effects of stress on the body and performance. She has been finding that if we perceive stress as having a negative impact on our well-being and performance, then it does. However, if we interpret the signs of stress–like a faster beating heart and accelerated respiration–as signs of readiness to meet the challenge, it may actually be very beneficial to our body and performance.
In fact, research out of Harvard demonstrated that when participants in a stress-induced situation were told to experience these physiological reactions as positive responses (being helpful for preparation), their heart and breathing rates were similar, yet their blood vessels did not constrict as they do when we think stress is bad. The actual biological measures of the heart pounding and quicker respiration with more relaxed blood vessels are physiologically similar to what our body experiences in times of joy and courage.
It turns out that what we believe about stress matters greatly. Perhaps the most powerful intervention you can do for yourself is to think about the signs of stress as helpful indicators of getting your body ready for the challenge. This can transform how our bodies interpret stress and help us meet the challenges in our life.
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The Fish Oil Phenomenon
The benefits of omega-3 fatty acid are seemingly endless, even more so if you consume it from the source. The most common source of omega-3 is fish oil, either directly from eating fish or as a supplement. However, walnuts and flaxseeds are also excellent sources of omega-3.
Studies have found that fish oil supplements can also be very beneficial for everything from mental health to better skin, from dry eyes to fertility. Here are just a few of the top benefits of regularly consuming fish oil.
Eye Health: Not only does fish oil reduce eye dryness, increase tear production, and improve vision, but studies have shown that regular intake of fish oil can reduce the risk of age-related macular degeneration. Proper intake of fish oils can also reduce eye pressure and the risk of glaucoma.
Mental Health: Healthy fats are a key component of a healthy brain. They help to prevent loss of important neurotransmitters. According to a 2011 study, regular fish oil intake reduces anxiety even among those with low levels of baseline anxiety. Other studies have shown that omega-3 fatty acids can help restore a balanced mood and that large doses of fish oil can reduce the symptoms of severe bipolar disorder even in drug-resistant patients.
Heart Health: An imbalance of omega-3 and omega-6 can lead to heart disease. Regular intake of fish oil can reduce blood pressure, which can improve heart health. However, studies have found that consuming omega-3 supplements is not as effective for heart health as actually eating fish.
Brain Health: The fatty acids found in fish are essential for brain health. Fish oil not only helps improve memory and cognition but also can reduce and prevent cognitive decline in aging adults and the atrophy that leads to Alzheimer’s disease. Much like with heart health, however, supplements are not as effective as actually eating natural sources of omega-3.
The first time that a doctor suggested I take fish oil it was to reduce brain fog along with symptoms of anxiety and depression. I didn’t stick with it and saw no improvement. At the time, I just couldn’t see how one supplement could do so many things.
Years later, I tried fish oil again. By then I’d learned that there is a difference between omega-6 and omega-3 and that it’s important to have a very high ratio of omega-3 to omega-6. Our standard diet is already high in omega-6. Despite knowing this, it still took me a while to find a brand that worked well for me.
When comparing why one fish oil might work and another might not it’s also important to understand the types of omega-3. There are three types: eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), and alpha-linolenic acid (ALA). ALA is found in walnuts and flaxseeds and converts to EPA and DHA. EPA and DHA are both are found in fish, while DHA is also found in algae. EPA helps lessen inflammation in the body, which can reduce joint pain and improve eye health. DHA improves brain health and function. Therefore, you may want to compare fish oils and find the one with the higher amount of the omega-3 type that helps your specific symptoms.
The Brand Matters
Less than a year after I started taking a quality fish oil I found that not only had my joint pain and dry eyes improved, but so had my vision. When I had my eyes checked it initially seemed like they must be getting worse because with my glasses on I wasn’t seeing as clearly. However, they had actually improved. These days I don’t need my glasses as often.
A few months ago I ran across a deal for a new brand of fish oil. The numbers looked good so I gave it a shot. Unfortunately, this was when I learned that brand matters when it comes to quality and purity of the fish oil. Despite a number of great reviews for the product on Amazon, within just a few days I noticed that my eyes were returning to a state of extreme dryness, my vision was getting blurrier, and I was feeling more pain. Fortunately, I put two and two together and switched back to my previous brand of fish oil and those symptoms cleared up just as fast as they’d returned.
It seems that the list of omega-3 benefits is endless. As more research is completed, however, it becomes more apparent that as with any nutrient, the closer to the source you can get the better. Rather than relying on supplements, we need to increase omega-3 intake by eating more fish, walnuts, and flaxseeds.
References:
Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K., Belury, M. A., Andridge, R., Malarkey, W. B., & Glaser, R. (2011). Omega-3 supplementation lowers inflammation and anxiety in medical students: a randomized controlled trial. Brain, behavior, and immunity, 25(8), 1725-1734.
Rizos, E. C., Ntzani, E. E., Bika, E., Kostapanos, M. S., & Elisaf, M. S. (2012). Association between omega-3 fatty acid supplementation and risk of major cardiovascular disease events: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Jama, 308(10), 1024-1033.
Sarris, J., Mischoulon, D., & Schweitzer, I. (2012). Omega-3 for bipolar disorder: meta-analyses of use in mania and bipolar depression. The Journal of clinical psychiatry, 73(1), 81-86.
Yashodhara, B. M., Umakanth, S., Pappachan, J. M., Bhat, S. K., Kamath, R., & Choo, B. H. (2009). Omega-3 fatty acids: a comprehensive review of their role in health and disease. Postgraduate Medical Journal, 85(1000), 84-90.
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Why You Should Stop Saying, "I'm Fine."
You know the drill. You see your neighbor at the grocery store. Inevitably she asks how you’re doing. Your response? Probably something along the lines of, “I’m fine, thanks. How are you?” She likely says the same thing in return. You may engage in a bit more small talk, then go on your way.
This kind of conversation happens so often that we may not even give it a second thought. Perhaps you really are doing okay, but what about those times when you’re not? What if you’re feeling down, or tired, or conflicted, or even depressed? What if you’re really struggling?
Saying you’re “fine” is a neutral description that’s neither positive or negative. And since we’re multi-dimensional individuals who experience a spectrum of human emotions, the truth is that you are probably not just “fine.” But society has seemed to condition so many of us to fake that we’re okay (even if we’re not), to endure hardship and not complain about it. This can take its toll, however, and I would encourage you to stop pretending and instead tell the truth about what you’re actually feeling. Here are some ideas to consider about why you should stop saying, “I’m fine.”
First off, assess your relationship with the other person. If he or she is a stranger or someone you only know as an acquaintance, it may not be appropriate to share your heart (at least not all of it). But if it’s someone you trust and know well, don’t be afraid to open up and express what’s really going on. Also, be mindful of your environment. Heavy conversations may not belong in a public space where others can hear, but are better suited for the privacy of a home or apartment.
Another aspect of moving beyond the rote saying “I’m fine” is to actually know what you’re feeling! It’s simple, really: You can’t properly tell someone else your emotions if you yourself don’t know what they are. I encourage you to regularly assess how you feel (I’m a therapist, and even I have to do this).
If you need help getting started, try to identify which of the following six basic emotions describe you in the present moment: happy, sad, mad, scared, surprised, disgusted. Once you’ve figured out which of these emotion(s) you’re experiencing, try to accept yourself without judgment. Too often, we shame ourselves for our feelings, but it’s okay to feel a certain way. Give yourself permission to embrace your inner truth.
One of the main barriers to sharing our true feelings with someone else is that we’re afraid to open ourselves up that much. Speaking your heart requires you to be brave and vulnerable, as there is risk involved. It requires you to be authentic and let down your walls. Being sincere and authentic is something we can practice and get better at over time. If you struggle with opening up with others, I challenge you to take a chance. Start small and let someone close to you know what’s really going on with you. You don’t have to overshare, but saying something like, “It’s been a rough week, and I’m having a hard time,” is honest, authentic, and shows that you are an imperfect human being just like the rest of us.
In addition to being truthful, another huge potential payoff of sharing your feelings is that it can lead to improved relationship connections. You can become emotionally closer to someone or may even gain help or support if you need it. So please be brave. Try deviating from the cliché phrase “I’m fine,” and express how you really feel.
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Sharing Your Love Of Running With Fido
Everyone knows that a dog is considered man’s–and woman’s–best friend. But as many loyal canine owners and runners will tell you, dogs can be a runner’s best running partner too. And let’s face it: So many dogs have an instinctual desire to run that the relationship between runner and pup can be mutually beneficial.
For a runner, a canine partner not only provides company, but can also act as a source of protection, warding off potential attacks from other animals–and even scarier, other humans. In some extreme cases, dogs have been known to save their owners’ lives by alerting others that their human counterpart was injured and needed help.
Plus, it’s highly unlikely your dog will stand you up for that chilly 5:00 a.m. run like many people in your running group might tend to do.
For a dog, the act of running can provide much-needed exercise and energy expenditure, as well as bonding time with their owner, keeping him or her both physically and emotionally healthy.
But, just like humans, dogs are not immune to the potential health risks and injuries that can be associated with running. So how do you get–and keep–your pooch running?
1) Start them slow
Most people don’t wake up one morning, decide to take up the sport of running, and go out and complete 15 miles. Or if they do, they more than likely don’t come out of that feat unscathed.
Your pup is no exception.
Despite the fact that they have two more legs, dogs (just like humans) are susceptible to overuse injuries from doing too much, too soon. Start with a routine physical at your vet’s office to make sure your dog is healthy. Openly discuss your intentions with the veterinarian to ensure that your dog is the right breed, right age, and absolutely ready to run. Once given the green light, work jogging intervals into your regular walks. Gradually build up distance over time, just as you would in your own training plan. Keep in mind that it took you a while to build up to your current mileage, and it might take just as long for your canine friend to do the same.
2) Listen to your dog’s body
Unlike a human running partner, a dog can’t verbally say, “hey, I’m not feeling so great today, let’s slow down!” Instead, you have to pay attention to your pooch and watch for nonverbal signs and communication. Look for any signs of discomfort that may signal your dog is not quite ready for that distance, isn’t feeling so great that day, or has a potential pain or injury. Things like flattened ears, tail down, heavy panting, and hind legs dragging may all be signs of fatigue in your dog.
After your run, keep an eye on your dog and look for any signs of discomfort or injury. Don’t forget to check the pads of their feet; various terrains such as hot asphalt, sharp rocks, and even icy roads may cause injuries.
3) Hydration and fuel
These things are essential to all life, not just our own! Keep your doggie hydrated and properly fueled, just as you would do for yourself. Base your hydration and fueling stops on things like the temperature outside, duration of your run, and obvious cues from your dog that he or she is thirsty or hungry. Again, keep your eyes open for signs of dehydration or overheating in your dog, as this condition can quickly become dangerous or even deadly.
4) Use a leash
I get it, you want Fido to feel the exact same freedom that you do while barreling down the trails. But if you are on a public path, please put your dog on a short leash that you are able to control. Despite the best training and intentions in the world, a startled dog may not react the way we expect them to and may either run away when frightened or worse, lunge at another runner. Further, if something else (such as an unleashed dog) aggressively approaches your pup, you will have a greater ability to control and protect your dog. Lastly, in many places, it is the law to have your dog on a leash.
Remember: Not everyone likes dogs. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. If your dog has an aggressive temperament–even if it’s a friendly “I’m so happy to see you, I’m going to jump all over you and smother you with kisses” aggressiveness–consider the types of public places you choose to run with your dog, and respect the fact that not everyone wants to come face-to-wet-nose with your pup.
5) Clean up their poop
Dogs have this wonderful ability to squat in the most inopportune places. It goes without saying that it is your responsibility to clean up after your dog. Sadly, a large majority of people don’t follow through. Other runners would rather not scrape your doggy’s doo out from the treads of their trail sneakers, so please, please, please scoop that poop. It’s the respectful thing to do.
With adequate preparation and awareness on your part, your new four-legged running partner can experience a long and wonderful running career. For more tips on how to get your dog running, talk to your vet so the two of you can come up with a plan specifically geared toward your dog’s needs.
Your friend Sally’s sister just went gluten free. So did your cousin. And your aunt. Oh, and your uncle, too. Seems like everyone these days is avoiding wheat for one reason or another. Some claim that it helps them lose weight, others say they’re allergic, and most do it because everyone else is doing it. Are you wondering if wheat is bad for you and if you should ditch it too?
Gluten is the protein found in wheat, barley, and rye. It can cause some serious symptoms in as much as 15 percent of the population. Gluten sensitivity (or intolerance) and celiac disease describe two maladies associated with the consumption of wheat.
They differ in their effect on your body, but gluten sensitivity symptoms feel a lot like symptoms of celiac disease. It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between the two on the basis of symptoms alone.
Unlike celiac disease, gluten sensitivity doesn’t damage your small intestine. But that doesn’t mean it can’t still hurt you. With gluten sensitivity, you experience a direct reaction to the gluten because your body views the protein as an invader and fights it with inflammation both inside and outside of your gut.
Some researchers believe that people who are gluten sensitive can actually experience damage to other organs and systems, especially their neurological organs. With celiac disease, the immune system doesn’t mount a direct attack against gluten but triggers your immune system to attack your own tissue, namely your intestinal lining. It slowly eats away at it, causing major damage.
A simple blood test or biopsy via endoscopy can tell you if you have celiac disease, but unfortunately there is no board-approved medical test for gluten intolerance/sensitivity.
Most doctors prescribe an “elimination diet,” in which you stop eating products that are made from or contain gluten for 2 to 3 weeks and see if your symptoms get better. Not sure if you’re feeling crappy because of gluten? Here is a list of the 10 most common signs that you may be gluten sensitive or may have celiac disease.
1. Digestion issues: Diarrhea, constipation, and gas are all signs that you’re not digesting wheat properly.
2. Joint inflammation: Do your joints “bump together” or ache after eating a lot of wheat? This may be a sign that your body is inflamed and rejecting it. The Arthritis Foundation has published multiple articles and research regarding the link between gluten sensitivity, joint pain, and arthritic conditions.
3. Brain fog: Can’t think straight after eating wheat? Are you feeling “out of it”? Researchers found that there may be a reactivity of antibodies to gluten and other different antibodies that could result in mental fogginess.
4. Pins and needles: Gluten can affect whether your nerves function properly. People with celiac disease or gluten sensitivity can suffer from peripheral neuropathy, which often causes a tingling sensation in feet and hands.
5. Chicken skin: Do you have bumps on the back of your arm or inner thigh? Got patches of eczema or psoriasis? Gluten sensitivity can cause a host of skin issues.
6. Migraines: In a study that measured migraine headaches in gluten-sensitive people, headaches were reported in 56 percent of those with non-celiac gluten sensitivity and 30 percent of those with celiac disease.
7. Chronic fatigue: Are you getting a lot of sleep lately but feel like you’re relying on caffeine to keep going? Gluten may be the reason. When your body is in a state of inflammation, it’s expending a lot of energy dealing with gluten proteins. Most of the time it’s at the expense of available energy stores and normal bodily functions.
8. Anxiety, depression, or mood swings: Feelings of hopelessness, lack of interest, low energy, appetite changes, sleep changes, or anger after eating wheat can indicate an intolerance.
9. Hormone imbalances: Studies have shown that there’s a strong relationship between gluten sensitivity and imbalances of the hormones progesterone and estrogen, as well as adrenal hormones. It becomes worse during menopause but can also cause irregular menstrual cycles, weight gain or loss, hot flashes, low energy levels, and erratic sleep patterns.
10. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Researchers believe that having a leaky gut can cause mental health issues because gluten and other food proteins are basically sneaking into the body where they don’t belong.
Write it down. Log it. Keep track of what you eat. These are phrases you hear all the time. I admit to saying them once or twice myself. Why do you hear them so often when it comes to weight loss? Because it’s a proven technique for weight loss backed by research studies and real-life results. There’s a variation on this technique that is equally effective and gives you the added benefit of knowing what you are going to eat before you even sit down. It’s pre-logging your meals. Here’s why you should consider it and how to do it effectively.
I like the concept of pre-logging your meals because it takes the guesswork out of what’s for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snacks for the day. When I guessed what I was going to have, I often ate too much. Why? Because I made it up on the spur of the moment, and it often wasn’t the healthiest or lowest calorie choice I could make. I ended up overeating more often than I should have because of last-minute choices.
That’s a recipe for disaster right there.
Pre-logging your meals might feel like a pain or an unnecessary extra step, but it is neither. In fact, it takes a lot of the stress out of weight loss. Why? Because knowing what you are going to eat for the day when you get up in the morning is one less decision you have to make.
Here’s how to get started with logging your meals before you actually eat them.
First, decide whether you are going to pre-log your meals day by day or a week at a time. Initially, I recommend a daily approach. Each night before you go to bed, think through your upcoming day and decide what you will eat.
Second, write down your meals for the next day using your favorite method. It could be an old-fashioned notebook or an app on your phone. Calculate the calories and make tweaks so your calories line up with your personal goals.
Third, check your pre-logged meal planner app or notebook before you eat the next day. If you wrote down that you were going to have an egg white omelet for breakfast with some chopped vegetables, have that for breakfast. Repeat throughout the day.
At the end of the day, if you followed your pre-logged plan, you will have eaten just what you decided you would and no more or no less.
Here are some questions you may have about working with a pre-logged meal plan.
1. What if you are going out to eat?
In many cases, you know the day before if you are going out with friends or eating out for a work meeting. In the rare cases where eating out is truly unexpected, choose an entrée on the menu that closely matches the number of calories you initially intended to eat.
2. What if you eat something not on your pre-logged plan?
This is real life right here. Of course, you won’t always be able to follow your plan perfectly. If you add an extra snack, have two pieces of toast instead of one, or indulge in a dessert, add those calories to your food diary. No harm done.
3. How long should you pre-log your meals?
I say do it as long as it is working for you. As with many things in weight loss, what works for one person may or may not work for another. Give pre-logging your meals a try for a week and see what happens.
If you find it easier to stick to your allotted calories and eat a balanced diet when pre-logging, then do it for another week. The purpose of pre-logging your meals is to make your life easier and your weight loss permanent by establishing new habits.
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When Being Number One Is Bad News
It’s no secret that guilt plays havoc with our health. People who feel guilty for extended periods of time are, on average, more depressed, more anxious, more stressed, and have a weaker immune system than those who go through life without the guilt. They’re also more likely to engage in risky, destructive behavior, including self-medicating with drugs and/or alcohol. One of the most powerful producers of guilty feelings is the perception of having disappointed someone. And close to the top of the list of people we might have disappointed are our parents.
Given all that, it would be natural to assume that being a parent’s favorite would produce all sorts of wonderful benefits. But you’d be wrong. In fact, according to a new study, being mom’s favorite may be just as hard on your psychological well-being as being the one who never manages to live up to her expectations or the one who had the most argumentative relationship with her. “There is a cost for those who perceive they are the closest emotionally to their mothers,” wrote Jill Suitor, one of the coauthors of the study and a professor of sociology at Purdue University, “and these children report higher depressive symptoms, as do those who experience the greatest conflict with their mothers or who believe they are the children in whom their mothers are the most disappointed.”
Sound a little counterintuitive, I know, but here’s how it works. There are actually a number of things going on at the same time.
First, there’s the fact that although most mothers would never admit it, they actually do have a favorite child–and kids are quite adept at figuring out where they stand in mom’s eyes relative to their siblings. Favored children often get hassled, teased, made fun of, and excluded by their less-loved siblings. Being on the receiving end of that kind of treatment is depressing. Worse yet, “siblings continued to compare themselves to each other well into middle age,” according to Suitor and her team. And those feelings of depression and unhappiness continue just as long.
Second, there’s the pressure a favorite child feels to take care of Mom as she ages. Because of that pressure and the associated stress, being a caregiver to an aging parent is a known predictor of a variety of negative health effects, including anxiety, depression, premature aging, exhaustion, and an increased mortality rate from all causes.
Interestingly, this study, which was published in the Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences, found that the effects of being the favorite (or least favored) child were the same, regardless of whether the child was male or female. And in an effort to correct a clear case of gender bias, the same research team is investigating the effects on children of being favored by (or being a disappointment to) Dad.
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New Year Awakening
When you wake up on January 1 you’ll be starting your new year. You have a few choices about how to launch into 2016. You can roll out of bed and treat it like any other day. You can also sleep late, nurse your hangover, and face the day like you would the last day of a vacation. A third option, and one that can coincide with either of the previous choices, would be to awaken to 2016 in a way that honors the profound shift in time and space that it offers.
While awakening is just another word for waking up, I’m using it differently here. We wake up daily because this is part of our physical wiring. The process of waking up each morning is actually a very systematic yet complicated process that your body does without your awareness. Like riding a bike, you implicitly remember how to wake up without thinking. Awakening, on the other hand, is a fully conscious process that requires intention and effort. When you become awakened you become aware of something, and very often it’s something you didn’t know before.
January 1 brings a perfect opportunity to experience a moment of awakening. Many of us live our lives on autopilot, never really immersing ourselves in the moment-to-moment actions we take. This isn’t easy when schedules get rushed, work becomes busy, and we have a million things to fit into the day. It’s rare to have moments of awe or awareness because to do so we would have to be fully present, focused on what is being uncovered. Without paying attention and without true intention, it’s almost impossible to become awakened, which is why it doesn’t happen very often.
On the first day of the year, you can set a precedent for yourself by starting off 2016 with a moment of awakening. Perhaps it will be a daily, weekly, or monthly habit, but at the very least you can do it as part of the new year with the intention of having a different and new experience. This doesn’t have to be a complicated process or an elaborate effort. All you need to do is decide you want to try this and then follow these four easy steps. You can obviously do this any day of the year, but January 1 is special and important, making the idea of this more probable.
Prepare
Begin by setting aside a few minutes between now and January 1. Use that time to pick one thing you want to use for your awakening on the first day of the year. It could be a poem, a gratitude statement, a prayer, an intention, a song, or moment of silence. Decide in advance what you’ll be using as part of your awakening so when the time comes you’re ready to go.
Find Space
Wherever you are, find a space that is quiet and private. You don’t have to be sitting. Walking outside works, or you can even dance. If space is limited this can be done silently while lying in bed or even in the shower. We can always find a moment even in the midst of chaos. If you have the opportunity to increase the feeling of your space with scent, light, or any other grounding element that would be a welcomed perk.
Awaken
Take a few minutes to do what you planned with the intention of being present and open to whatever you feel, think, or uncover. The Buddha’s awakening came while he was quietly sitting under a tree. Each person has their own experience, but what’s essential is the intention of discovery and an openness to learning something new. The sole purpose of this exercise is to cross over into the new year with purpose.
The new year can be considered a rite of passage. As you transition from 2015 to 2016, you’ll be marking the process with a practice that takes you from one place in time into the next. This isn’t just a new year, it’s a step into a new world and very often a new you. Make 2016 the year that you did it differently and in a way that changes you for the better.