Categories
Wellbeing

4 Traits That Make You Vulnerable To A Workplace Affair

Most of us spend the majority of our time in a work setting creating a perfect petri dish for physical and emotional affairs to develop. This isn’t true for everyone, however, so perhaps there are certain human traits that make these incidents more likely.
Joanie came into my office in an urgent state of distress. “I’ve done something really bad,” she reported. Joanie had been married for three years and had come in to seek therapy for panic attacks and anxiety a year before this session. I’ve heard these kinds of declarations many times in my practice so I waited patiently for her to share her alarming news.
Joanie had slept with her colleague. They had been working for months on a project together, which involved late hours at the office, business trips, drinks after work, and client dinners. Joanie had mentioned this colleague once or twice over the course of our work together, but she never expressed any interest. She had also never mentioned being unhappy in her marriage, or that she had a desire to seek anything outside of that relationship. In fact, she had presented her marriage as quite perfect and fulfilling on every level. Joanie went on to explain the encounter “just happened,” and she was overwhelmed with regret and shame.
A long time ago when I was seeking therapy around my divorce I remember calling our couple’s therapist at the time to tell him that I had uncovered the news that my husband was continuing the affair he had promised he would end as a condition for working on the marriage. I’ll never forget what this therapist said in response. He expressed how sorry he was and then said, “I have to tell you that I’m shocked, but not surprised.” This is how I felt when I heard Joanie’s news because while I definitely didn’t see this coming for her, I know that it happens, in general, a lot.
Affairs in the workplace have something to do with the work environment and specific scenarios, but more to do with a person’s relational traits. By relational traits I mean the qualities that each and every person brings with them into the dynamics of relational experience. In the same way that there are certain traits that make it more likely someone will cheat on a partner, the specific experience of getting involved with a co-worker, boss, or employee involves a very specific recipe of personal qualities.
Joanie’s case clearly presented issues around infidelity and cheating on her partner, but becoming emotionally or physically entangled with someone at work when you’re single can bring on many complications as well. An affair can easily change the dynamic of the workplace so it becomes uncomfortable and awkward, and it obviously shifts how you feel when at work including your perceived performance. An affair can change a very confident employee into an insecure one overnight. Fear around getting fired, other people finding out, whether it actually means something more, or questioning if it will happen again are just a few of the cycling thoughts that follow a work-related affair.
While anyone is capable of having a sexual encounter with someone at work, these are four traits that make it more likely:

Lack of Boundaries

Boundaries are like invisible walls that can be drawn up for protection when needed. The ability to have healthy boundaries is learned, and they often coincide with a strong sense of self. People who lack the ability to set clear boundaries are usually eager to please, afraid of confrontation, or don’t know their own value. Not having boundaries leads to a bleeding of experience that makes it harder to distinguish between right and wrong or good and bad. Of course, there are always gray areas, but a healthy boundary helps keep each party on the right side of the fence.

Extroversion

Extroverts are highly social and prefer the company of others over spending time in solitude. When a person is an extrovert and doesn’t spend time developing the capacity for being alone or deepening relationships outside of work, the chance of making the office their main social venue is more likely. Extroverts are more inclined to live for work, hang around the office to avoid going home, or to make work events their social outlet. While none of these behaviors are necessarily bad, they do heighten the chance of a workplace affair.

Impulsivity

When a person is impulsive it basically means they act without thinking. Impulsivity is highly correlated with poor judgment and with behaviors that result in negative outcomes. Impulsive people are not reflective in the moments where choice presents itself, leaving them vulnerable to mindless acts that they later regret. As a result, they have a greater chance of getting into sexual or emotional relationships that aren’t likely to have positive outcomes, and this includes in the context of work.

People Pleasing

Wanting to advance at work and needing approval often go hand in hand, but the latter can lead to negative outcomes. People who seek approval and want to keep everyone happy at the expense of their own needs make choices outside of their own best interests. The focus of each choice is about the other person’s perception, not on their own desire. The main goal of a people pleaser is to be liked and valued, and people with this trait will go to any length to ensure that this happens, including crossing the line in a work relationship.

Categories
Nosh

The Benefit Of Going Bananas

Bananas are one of the world’s most popular fruits. In fact, Americans eat more bananas than both apples and oranges combined–about 27 pounds per year. Now that’s a lot of bananas!

The elliptical-shaped yellow fruits (technically considered berries since their fruit is produced from a single seed) are chock-full of nutrients and one of nature’s most convenient on-the-go superfoods.

Health Benefits of Bananas

You may have heard that bananas contain too much sugar, and they aren’t a good choice if you’re trying to mind your waistline. The truth is, while a medium-sized banana does contain about 14 grams of sugar, it is still considered low on the glycemic index (GI) and contains about 3 grams of fiber to keep you feeling fuller longer. At just over 100 calories, eating a banana is a great way to satisfy a sweet tooth!

B-Smart

You probably know that B vitamins are essential for your body. One such essential B vitamin, B6, is naturally present in bananas and may be beneficial for lowering your risk of heart disease, keeping certain kinds of cancer at bay, and boosting immunity. Some studies have even shown B6 to help with PMS, so a daily banana could help with moodiness, irritability, and bloating at that time of the month.

Fact or Fiction?

Have you ever had a really bad leg cramp or charley horse and your mom’s advice was to eat a banana? That’s because bananas are known for their healthy dose of potassium. When we sweat, we lose potassium, which is essential for muscles to contract properly and to keep blood pressure in check. While eating a banana isn’t likely to make a cramp go away, getting enough potassium each day (the Institute of Medicine recommends 4.7 grams) could reduce the number of muscle cramps you have in general. A medium banana contains 422 mg of potassium, and because it’s so convenient, it’s a great way to replenish after a sweaty workout session.

Athletic Performance

Speaking of workouts…you know the electrolyte-replacement drinks that many runners, cyclists, and other athletes tote with them on long hauls? A study conducted on cyclists at Appalachian State University in North Carolina found that the subjects who consumed a banana and plain water had just as effective performance levels as the group who were given a carbohydrate-rich drink such as Gatorade. What’s more, higher levels of the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine were found when the subjects’ blood was analyzed.

Go Bananas!

With loads of health benefits and year-round availability, there’s no reason not to add this super fruit to your shopping list. If you are wondering whether to buy organic, you’ll be happy to know that bananas are not on the Environmental Working Group’s “Dirty Dozen” list, a list of the top 12 conventionally raised (a.k.a. non-organic) fruits and vegetables known to contain the most pesticides.

Want some tips to getting more bananas in your diet? You can substitute mashed bananas in recipes that call for butter or cooking oil. Simply replace half the oil with that amount of mashed fruit. For example, if a recipe calls for ½ cup of canola oil, use ¼ cup of oil and ¼ mashed banana.

Got more bananas than you can use before they go bad? No problem! Peel, slice, and store in a freezer bag. The next time you are whipping up a smoothie or protein shake, toss frozen banana slices in instead of ice to cool down your beverage.

Categories
Lifestyle

Edible Water Bottles May Be Available Soon

Water is an essential component of life. After all, up to 60 percent of the human body is made up of water that’s constantly being replenished. It detoxifies the body, keeps cells healthy, and aids in digestion. That’s why it’s important to drink 8-10 glasses of water daily. Although ample water is essential to optimal health, plastic water bottles are widely known as an irresponsible means of staying hydrated. That’s why scientists are looking for new and innovative ways for us to get our fill of this liquid glory without plastic.

The Problem with Plastic

Plastic water bottles come with a host of issues. First of all, plastic isn’t biodegradable, which means it doesn’t break down, and thus ends up polluting our lakes, rivers, and streams while piling up in landfills. In the U.S., 1,500 plastic water bottles are used every second. Marine species and seabirds often fall victim to our discarded aqua vessels. One dead albatross, in particular, was found with 113 discarded water bottle caps in its stomach, and a sperm whale fell victim to a water bottle lodged in its small intestine. When waste has nowhere to go, it litters Mother Nature while taking its toll on wildlife.

Plastic is also problematic because it’s made from hydrocarbon gas liquids (HGL) and natural gas. HGLs are petroleum byproducts made from oil and natural gas refining. In 2010, 191 million barrels of HGL were used just for the production of plastic.

Plastic also contains bisphenol A (BPA), a chemical compound that’s a known endocrine disruptor. BPA confuses the endocrine system and causes problems with fertility in women and birth defects in fetuses. It may also be a carcinogen. Plastic water bottles also contain phthalates, another endocrine disruptor known to cause developmental problems in children, reduced sperm counts, and tumors in animal studies.

Ooho!: An Edible Alternative

Ooho! is a new form of biodegradable and edible (yes, you read that right!) packaging invented by three London-based industrial designers: Rodrigo García González, Guillaume Couche, and Pierre Paslier. Shaped like a gelatinous blob, it’s described by the company’s founders as “water you can eat.” Made from calcium chloride and a brown seaweed derivative called sodium alginate, it’s strong, biodegradable, and once you’re done slurping it up, you can take down the packaging as well. No, you don’t have to eat the container, but it’s natural enough that if you wanted to, you could safely ingest the packaging without taking in any of the nasty chemicals listed above.

How Ooho! Is Made

The blob-like container is made through a process called spherification, which shapes liquids into a sphere and then constructs an edible gel around the liquid. The water is frozen and then the gel is formed around it. It’s like popping a blob of hydration in your mouth that is similar in consistency to an egg yoke. The membrane holds the liquid in place but then can be easily punctured and even eaten. The double membrane around the water also makes it possible to brand and label the product while keeping the water from being contaminated. When you’re done slurping the water inside, you’re left with edible packaging that resembles thicker cling wrap (though it’s not plastic).

An Inexpensive Fix

Even better, Ooho! isn’t expensive, costing just 2 cents per bottle. And since production is cheap it has the potential to even compete with plastic water bottles, which are currently a ubiquitous part of the industry. Although Ooho! isn’t in production yet, the company founders recently won a sustainability award from the European Institute of Innovation and Technology for coming up with a good replacement for plastic water bottles.

The Downsides Of Ooho!

Ooho! does have a few downsides. First, it’s somewhat messy when you bite into the hydration bubble, leaving droplets of water behind. And second, it would be difficult to keep the packaging from being contaminated in commute, especially if it’s supposed to be completely edible.

Ooho! is a great invention for those who love bottled water but don’t like the unsustainable plastic water bottle that’s left over. It’s delicious hydration with zero waste.

Categories
Sweat

Resolutions Already Blown? 8 Steps To Reset Your Weight Loss

Have you ever resolved at the beginning of the year to lose weight? Have you ever said, “By this time next year, I will have lost weight?” If so, you aren’t alone. 

Every year, scores of Americans make resolutions to lose weight. I know I always did. While weight loss resolutions are common, excellent results are not. Fortunately, a broken weight loss resolution can be reset in a short time.

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Misstep

The first step in any type of reset is to acknowledge your lack of progress toward meeting your resolution. Okay, let’s be real–that’s a nice way of saying it. The hard truth is you’ve got to face up to the fact that you didn’t follow through. And that’s okay.

Step 2: Determine What Went Wrong

You may have never started. You may have half-heartedly tried, or perhaps there was a problem with the diet you picked. No matter what happened, figure out what went wrong so you don’t repeat the problem when you reset your diet.

Step 3: Figure Out if You Are Ready

Timing is everything. If this isn’t the right time for you, then reset another time. Although I think any time is great to start losing weight, there could be very real factors working against your weight loss success. Only you know what they might be, but some examples are fighting an illness or depression, having to care for a sick family member, or even a lack of finances.

Step 4: Don’t Listen to Popular Opinion

It’s easy to jump on the latest diet bandwagon. I tried all kinds of crazy diets before finally landing on one that worked for me.

Turn a deaf ear toward popular opinion and pick a diet plan that works for your lifestyle, your preferences, and your needs.

Step 5: Test Your Diet Plan Against Real Life

Once you’ve settled on a diet plan you think you like, test it by mentally walking through what a day on that diet will be like. For example, if you want to try a diet based on intermittent fasting but you wake up every morning feeling starved, that diet is not for you. Conversely, if you never really liked bread or dairy products, a low-carbohydrate diet might be a good fit.

Step 6: Begin Anew

Now that you’ve ironed out all the wrinkles and figured out what to do to avoid a repeat of a failed diet from your earlier resolution, begin anew.

I know it sounds like old fashioned language, but beginning anew has a good ring to it. Start fresh, reach for your goals, and look at your weight loss journey in a new light.

Step 7: Start Each Day With an “I Can Do It” Spirit

Each day when you get up, tell yourself that you can:

– Stick to your diet

– Not give up

– Not give in to temptation

– Correct yesterday’s errors

Step 8: Stay Focused on the End Goal

If you’ve ever played sports, your coaches probably told you to keep the basket, the goal line, or the finish line in your mind’s eye. Do the same thing when resetting your weight loss. Keep your end goal in mind and ask yourself if actions you are taking move you closer to that goal.

Categories
Nosh

Get Your Clean Eating Diet Kicked Off Right!

You’re working out like crazy, which is making you feel super proud that you’ve nailed that part of your New Year’s resolution. But you’re feeling pretty bummed because the scale’s not moving, and the tape measure’s not pulling tighter because your diet is still way off.

You feel like you have no control, and your bad eating habits are making you feel well…just bad! Extra fat and sugar along with artificial dyes, preservatives, and genetically modified organisms (GMOs) can not only make your body feel awful and sabotage all of your hard work at the gym, but studies have also shown they can contribute to health issues such as chronic fatigue, diabetes, migraines, autoimmune diseases, and high blood pressure.

Changing your diet and habits, which probably have developed over a lifetime, is a tough thing to do. But it’s not impossible. Here are 10 foolproof ways to make positive, permanent changes.

1. Keep a journal.

For 2 to 3 days write down what you eat and drink and the approximate times that you do. Once you have a couple of days written down, take a red pen and circle and figure out what your trouble areas are.

2. Take it one meal at a time.

Small, simple changes work best when you’re trying to make a permanent change. Start with one meal and stick to those changes for a whole week. Breakfast is usually the best meal to start with. The next week, change another meal.

3. Read labels.

Make a conscious effort to read all labels and choose the healthiest foods that you possibly can. As a rule of thumb, the fewer ingredients listed, the better the food is for you. If you can’t pronounce the ingredient, or it sounds super chemical, that’s a good way to know you know you shouldn’t be eating it.

4. Be prepared.

Keep bars in your bag, nuts at work, granola in your car. Most people make poor food choices when they don’t have any options. Typically when you fail to plan…you plan to fail.

5. Have dinner for lunch.

The easiest way to have a healthy lunch is to bring leftovers from the night before for lunch the next day. When you cook at home and are prepared, you’ll end up eating healthier.

6. Breakfast for dinner.

Don’t like to cook? Try eating breakfast for dinner! Omelettes, scrambled eggs and Canadian bacon, low-fat quiche, or oatmeal and hard boiled eggs are all great nutritious alternatives to ordering out because they don’t cost a bundle and are healthy and easy to cook!

7. Invest in high-quality food storage.

Food storage containers that leach plastic taste into your food or leak in your bag will undermine your efforts to eat well. Choose high-quality plastic food storage or lightweight glass with tight-fitting snap tops.

8. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

It takes a lot of effort and hard work to change a lifetime of habits. Be kind to yourself. If you mess up, don’t take an all-or-nothing type of attitude that could undermine your efforts altogether. Get right back on the health train and keep plowing forward without looking back.

9. Cook on Sundays.

Preparing meals at home is one of the best ways to ensure that you’re eating well and that unhealthy ingredients aren’t being slipped into your food. Problem is, with schedules being so crazy, who has the time to cook? Sundays are a great day to spend the afternoon getting ready for the week. Prepare three meals worth of food, freezing some to ensure that you always have a healthy, yummy option at your fingertips.

10. Drink water.

Studies show that up to 75 percent of people may be (semi) functioning in a constant state of dehydration. Not drinking enough water can make you feel tired and without motivation. It can also mess with your body’s ability to metabolize fat. Additionally, being even slightly dehydrated can cause your body to mistake the need to drink with the need to eat. This can cause you to eat empty calories unnecessarily. So hydrate already!