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Lifestyle

How To Dispose Of Your Expired Medications Safely

The typical American medicine cabinet is full of expired and unused drugs that often sit untouched for years. When there’s a need for additional space in the medicine cabinet only a fraction of these medications will get disposed of properly. In 2015, approximately 4 billion prescriptions were filled at pharmacies throughout the United States. It’s estimated that of those 4 billion prescriptions, as many as one-third are never used.

Fortunately there are a few safe alternatives for disposal so that we don’t have to let expired or unused prescriptions accumulate dust in the medicine cabinet.

Expired and unused medications generally should not be flushed down the toilet, poured down the drain, or thrown out in the trash. Studies have shown that over-the-counter and prescription drugs can make their way into our nation’s waterways if we don’t dispose of them properly. Once in the waterway they can contribute to water pollution and cause adverse effects on aquatic life. When drugs are discarded into the trash there’s a possibility that they’ll be found and misused or pollute the soil in a landfill.

The good news is that there are plenty of community-based drug “take-back” programs to help minimize the amount of flushing and tossing of medications. These take-back programs allow people to drop off their unused medications at convenient locations. The reason that take-back programs are so successful is they are convenient and they keep unused drugs out of our waterways and prevent drugs from being misused by someone who finds them in the trash.

At least once each year there are National Prescription Drug Take-Back Days. According to the U.S. Department of Justice: “The National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day aims to provide a safe, convenient, and responsible means of disposing of prescription drugs while also educating the general public about the potential for abuse of medications.”

This year a take-back day is scheduled for April 30, 2016, from 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. On April 1, 2016, the Department of Justice will provide information on collection sites near you.

Another option for locating a disposal program in your area is finding a local pharmacy on Dispose My Meds by typing in your zip code. The map will reflect any local pharmacies near you that accept unused medications.

If a pharmacy isn’t an option, contact your local law enforcement agency to find out if medication disposal is available at the precinct or another local agency. It’s also worth checking in with the prescribing physician about a take-back program.

As a last resort, if no disposal instructions are given on the prescription drug label and no take-back program is available in your area, throw the drugs in the garbage following this protocol suggested by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration:

  • Mix medicines (do not crush tablets or capsules) with an unpalatable substance such as dirt, kitty litter, or used coffee grounds.
  • Place the mixture in a container such as a sealed plastic bag.
  • Throw the container in your household trash.
  • Scratch out all personal information on the prescription label of your empty pill bottle or empty medicine packaging to make it unreadable, then dispose of the container.

There are a number of options for proper disposal of unused and expired medications. Spending the time to find a take-back location in your area will help prevent water pollution and the possibility of drug misuse.

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Sweat

Will A Weight Loss Challenge Work For You?

Challenges to lose weight have been around for a long time but gained popularity with the introduction of weight loss shows such as The Biggest Loser. You might see weight loss challenges on the internet, be invited to one in real life by a friend, or consider joining a weight loss challenge hosted by your office. Before you jump on the weight loss challenge bandwagon, make sure this type of challenge will be good for your long-term goals.

Years ago, when my weight hovered in the 300-pound range, I had never heard of a weight loss challenge until a friend of mine invited me to join her team for a small community challenge. I declined because I didn’t want to embarrass myself or cause her team to lose because I had never successfully lost weight on my own or in a group. Looking back, I think I made the right decision at the time.

What about you? Will participating in a challenge be a great kick-start to your weight loss goals?

Let’s find out.

Know Your Preferences

Know what your preferences are before you commit to joining a challenge.

If you like to keep your weight loss progress private, a weight loss challenge that requires publicly sharing your weight is not for you. Some weight loss challenges offer secret or private weigh-ins, while others require you to post pictures of you on the scale or weigh with a representative of the challenge.

You may be someone who likes to work out alone or lose weight without group interaction. If so, a challenge that encourages group interaction might not be for you. If, on the other hand, you love the accountability that a group affords, a weight loss challenge may be right up your alley.

Know the Rules

Each weight loss challenge has its own set of rules. Make sure you know what you are getting into. I had a friend who joined a challenge only to discover that she had to pay $50 into the pot for the eventual prize.

  • Regular weigh-ins.
  • No unhealthy diets.
  • No use of commercial weight loss products such as Medifast or Jenny Craig.
  • Required meeting attendance—usually for at-work or local challenges.

Pick a Fair and Reputable Challenge

The fairest type of weight loss challenges are those based on losing a percentage of your body weight rather than pounds lost. This evens the playing field between men and women.

If you join a team challenge, ask how the final results for the team are calculated. Some challenges discard the lowest competitor to avoid penalizing a team that has a member drop out. Others do not.

When deciding whether a challenge is fair and reputable, look at online reviews or talk to people who have participated in the challenge before. In general, challenges run by established community organizations are safe to enter.

Don’t Win at All Costs

A weight loss challenge can be a boost to your weight loss efforts, especially if you are motivated by prizes and recognition. Don’t try to win to the detriment of your health, however.

It doesn’t do you any good to starve yourself or exercise for hours a day just to win a prize. Unhealthy dieting habits, whether during a weight loss challenge or not, will never lead to long-term weight loss.

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Wellbeing

Adults Need Close Friends Too

We all remember how good and happy we felt as kids when we had friends to play with on the playground. There’s something extra special about knowing that someone cares about you, somebody invited you along, somebody wants you in their group. As we grow into adults, though, it’s easy to think that we can do it all on our own. If we’re paying our own bills and working on our career—and especially if we have families or committed romantic relationships of our own—there’s no need to expend further time and energy on friendships, right? Wrong! 

Grownups, even when they’re married and have kids, have a psychological core to socialize with others, and friends play a different role than family members do. For one thing, these relationships usually place fewer demands on us, so they’re not as draining. They also can work as a sounding board for fresh, new ideas and can give us a break from home life for a bit. For me personally, I adore my family, but sometimes it’s so refreshing and energizing to go out to lunch with a girlfriend.

There’s some really compelling social science evidence making the case for the importance of grownups having friends. In the past few years, there have been several research studies conducted that illustrate how adults with close friendships thrive better than those without them. 

One of the more comprehensive and revealing research projects on this topic came out of Australia, where 1,500 seniors were closely followed for 15 years. The results? Those who spent a significant amount of time with friends lived about 22 percent longer than those who spent time only with family. This and other studies illustrate how maintaining close friendships can ward off loneliness and depression, increase enjoyment and satisfaction, and even make us more likely to fend off disease. So yes, friends are incredibly important to your physical and emotional health!

But let’s say you examine your life and realize you might be coming up a bit short in this department. It can be intimidating to get out of your comfort zone and forge new friendships, especially since so many other adults seem to be pretty well established in their social groups. How do you expand your circle of friends in a way that doesn’t come off as desperate or needy? 

It’s actually okay to send the message that you’re looking for a friend or in need of some company (the individuals who do this in a way that turns people off don’t own up to what they want and may try to manipulate or guilt trip you into spending time together). I encourage you to be assertive and express directly that you’d like to get to know someone better. 

I can think of several instances in my own life where I was at a gathering and crossed paths with someone who I could tell was a very interesting and engaging person, so I went up to her and said that I’d really like to be her friend! Don’t shy away from doing this; it’s really quite a compliment to someone that you’d be bold enough to say something like that. 

And if you don’t get the response you’re hoping for, or the other person doesn’t seem to reciprocate? We all understand that adults are busy people, so I suggest reaching out three times. If you still aren’t getting feedback from the other person, it’s time to move on. But don’t stress! You can create a new friendship bond with someone else.

Another way to access the benefits that come with close adult relationships is to use the ones you already have! We get busy, we get married, we change jobs, we move around, etc., so it’s natural to lose touch and connection with people in our lives who once played a bigger role. Technology really is such a gift in that it helps us keep in touch. While we still need those face-to-face interactions, don’t underestimate the power of staying in contact via Facebook, email, blogging, etc. Some of my very dearest friends are those whom I don’t see very often, but we use social media to stay updated on each others’ lives! 

And remember that there are different levels of friendship; not everyone is going to be our best friend, and that’s okay. So some people you might communicate with quite frequently, while others you choose to touch base with occasionally. Whatever your specific circumstances, make sure you are devoting at least some of yourself to those friendships. You’ll be happier and better off for it!

I’m very grateful for my adult friendships; they have enriched my life and also given me much-needed support at times. I invite you to consider the state of your own friendships. Have they taken a back seat to other responsibilities? We’re all very busy, but perhaps it’s time you reached out to rekindle a connection with a long-lost friend. Or maybe branch out and create new connections. Adult friendships can play a crucial role in your life; don’t neglect them!

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Nosh

All Teas Are NOT Created Equal

During ancient times, herbal infusions, otherwise known as teas, were used as homeopathic medicine. Today people continue to drink tea to cure and fight ailments ranging from simple colds to cancer. Tea has become the panacea for making your body healthy. But recent studies have shown that the tea that you’re drinking could actually be making you sick(er), instead of better!
Pretty crazy, right?
Metals found in the environment and in everyday products can find their way into your system and make you really ill. Although your body needs trace amounts of these metals, you can quickly overload on the maximum recommended amount by eating products that are tainted with them.
Recent studies have found that 32 percent of the tea leaves from China exceeded the limit for lead, which is a toxic heavy metal. This lead contamination is a result of China’s massive industrialization efforts. The lead from industrial pollution and car exhaust contaminates the soil and air, which is then absorbed by the plants via the roots or lands on the leaves in the local environment. Tea plants absorb lead from the environment at a higher rate than other plants, and green tea plants are known to be especially effective at absorbing lead from the soil. Green tea was found to have the highest amount of lead, with up to 50 times the maximum permitted level.
By some estimates, Americans drink nearly 10 billion servings of green tea each year, and roughly 80 percent of the green tea is produced in China. Various teas were analyzed by ConsumerLab.com, and they reported that tea from brands like Lipton and Bigelow contained up to 2.5 micrograms of lead per serving compared with no measurable amounts in Teavana brand, which gets its tea leaves from Japan. Most noteworthy was that zero percent of the tea leaves from Japan exceeded the limit.
Experts do believe that the lead in the tea leaves does not leach very well into the tea you end up drinking; it mostly stays in the leaves. This is okay if you soak the leaves and drink the liquid, but if you’re consuming matcha green tea (made from ground-up leaves), it’s especially important that it doesn’t come from China. The best matcha green tea comes from Japan and is steamed rather than roasted or pan-fried. As a result, matcha green tea retains all the nutrient-rich value possible from the tea leaf without additives or contaminants.
Studies also showed that using a paper filter such as a tea bag or K-cup can also reduce the amount of lead in your drink. Interestingly, there was no lead found in any of the decaffeinated teas, so scientists concluded that the process of decaffeination actually removes lead.
All teas are rich in antioxidants, but green tea—especially when brewed from loose leaves—is known for its great abundance of polyphenols, which do wonders for your body! Research has found that drinking at least 2 to 3 cups of green tea daily can reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease, certain cancers, and type 2 diabetes. It can also help you lose weight and reduce your risk of prostate cancer.
So drinking tea is great for you and you shouldn’t stop! The key is to know the source of the leaves and use a filter or bag when possible. And if you do happen to accidently consume too many heavy metals, know that a healthy diet rich in vitamin C, calcium, and iron can also help to minimize the harmful effects.

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Sweat

Make Or Break It: How To Pick Your Very First Race

You’ve been running to improve your health and fitness for months now, and although it wasn’t especially easy at the beginning, you finally feel like you’ve found your stride. Over that time you’ve become a much stronger and more confident runner, increasing your distances and picking up the pace too. Now you’re even considering entering your first race, but you’re not exactly sure which one you should start with. Here are some tips to help you decide.

Stay Close to Home 

While the idea of traveling to some exotic place just to compete in a race may sound enticing, you’ll want to avoid doing so for your first event. You’ll have enough on your plate in terms of logistics and planning without having to worry about packing your bags, getting on a plane, and flying across the country.

For your first race, the top priority should be keeping things simple and easy, so look for an upcoming event that is in your hometown or at least in close proximity. Race day will seem hectic enough as it is without adding other unnecessary distractions.

Pick the Proper Distance 

Another key factor to consider is the length of the race. You’ll want to select one that aligns to your current level of fitness and training, even though you may be tempted to try to push yourself to go further.

Come race day, chances are you’ll be excited, nervous, and anxious all at the same time, which means you probably won’t perform at your best. Learning to pace yourself is a key skill, though. It is better to gain some experience in that area on a shorter race than learn a painful lesson on a longer one.

After you’ve gotten a few races under your belt, things are likely to go much better. But when you’re first getting started, choose a distance that you are comfortable with and is easy for you to complete.

Look for a Beginner-Friendly Course 

For your first race, you may want to avoid events that are known for having difficult and demanding courses. Those types of events are better suited for more experienced racers, not those just starting out. If a course has lots of climbing and descending on hills it can really sap the strength from your legs, particularly if you’re not used to that type of running. Courses that are mostly flat will allow you to run at a more consistent pace, which will be useful for your first time out as you work on pre-race preparations, pacing, and running in a crowd. Being able to finish strong will help build confidence for future races too.

Allow Yourself Time to Train 

Although you’ve been running for some time, putting a race on your calendar will generally kick your training schedule into a higher gear. You’ll want to give yourself plenty of time to get ready for the event, which means picking a race that falls on a date that gives you ample time to increase your training in preparation. Don’t pick one that is just a week or two away; instead search for an event that is month or more out. The anticipation will make training more fun, and you’ll find yourself looking forward to the day even more.

Consider Your Budget 

Races can be expensive. Between entry fees, new running gear, pre- and post-event food and drinks, and other miscellaneous expenses, the cost of a simple 5K or 10K can really start to add up. Keep that in mind as you start to narrow down your selections too. After all, you’ve never run a race before, and maybe you won’t enjoy it. You’ll feel a lot worse about the experience if you’ve spent a lot of money but didn’t have a good time.

Are There Any Race Extras? 

Some race directors use every last bit of the entry fee money to put on their event, with little left over for fun extras, such as prizes, t-shirts, or finishing medals for participants. Others go all out and shower their racers with fun swag or even a post-race dinner. Before spending your hard-earned money, take a look at what kind of extras are included with your entry fee. After all, this will be your first race, and you want it to be a memorable experience.

The most important thing to remember when getting ready for your first race is to have fun, enjoy the buildup, and get to know your fellow competitors. It will be quite an experience to say the least, but hopefully it will be just the first of many races to come.

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Sweat

Are You Killing Yourself In The Gym?

You’ve probably seen those fitness memes that say “Oh, are you sore from working out? But did you die?” No matter how hard you actually do work out, everyone can relate to the feeling of dying from an intense workout.

It seems like workouts just keep getting harder and harder these days. People are lifting more, getting their heart rate up more, and even exercising more, but is it really necessary to work out that hard?

On the one hand, there are many people who don’t work out hard enough. They never really know what it feels like to push a heavy weight or get their heart rate up where it should be.

On the other hand, you have people who are addicted to killer workouts that leave them on the floor begging for a chalk outline to mark the evidence of their death. Instead, a photo is normally taken so the brutality can be posted for all to see on social media.

People are paying big money to be physically beat to a pulp in the gym. It’s a phenomenon that is spreading like wildfire, and I don’t see it dying down anytime soon.

Why do people enjoy the pain? I have a few theories.

1. You are killing yourself in the gym because you are killing yourself in the kitchen.

Many people lack self-control when it comes to eating so they work out more so they can eat more. If they were as disciplined in the kitchen as they were in the gym, though, they’d get results so much faster, and they wouldn’t have to work out nearly as hard.

If you think about it, it’s a lot easier to eat 1,000 calories than it is to burn them. One meal out can cost you 1,000–2,000 calories if you aren’t careful, and it would take you several workouts to erase what you ate in 30 minutes.

When people understand the math of calories in vs. calories out, they end up trying to make it up in the gym with more workouts, tougher workouts, and longer workouts.

Unfortunately some of these crazy hardcore workout peeps never really reap the benefit of their beast-mode workouts because they never get control of their eating. So they become addicted to training because really they are addicted to food.

2. You think that every workout has to be tough to be effective.

Before you can determine what is effective, you have to determine what your goal is. An effective workout means a host of different things depending on the purpose of your workout. You also have to determine what is realistic, safe, and maintainable.

Tough workouts are great, and I do believe every workout should have a certain level of intensity to it, whether your intensity comes from heavy weight or less rest time. But you don’t have to feel like you are about to die every single time you work out for it to be effective.

On the contrary, sometimes you need a light to moderate workout to allow your body to heal from a previously challenging exercise routine. You also have to give your joints time to heal and your muscles time to repair between tough workouts.

Unfortunately, some people (especially the competitive ones) can get more focused on beating a time or getting a new personal record than doing what their body needs that day. You should always listen to your body, whether it is telling you what you need to do today (short-term goals) or it reminds you of your endgame (long-term goals).

3. You have misconceptions of what defines a good workout.

Most people think a hard workout is a workout that takes your breath away. If your heart is racing and you feel like you are about to pass out, then you think that’s a good workout. Or maybe you think a good workout is when you lift a really heavy weight.

In reality, if you want to be physically fit and balanced, you need to train your body using all three metabolic pathways: phosphagen (high power/short duration), glycolytic (moderate power/moderate duration), and oxidative (low power/long duration).

I won’t bore you with the scientific explanation of each metabolic pathway; just understand that we should avoid sticking to one training style.

If you love long-distance runs and think a short run is ineffective you are wrong. Long runs only train our oxidative (aerobic) system. Try short runs with sprint intervals mixed in to build strength and power and improve lung capacity.

Or if you love lifting heavy weight with a lot of rest time in between you’re working more of your phosphagen and glycolytic systems. Try reducing rest time, reducing weight, and increasing intensity with a faster pace to improve endurance.

If you have a magnetic attraction to the iron, you may actually entertain getting off the bench press and getting on the treadmill. Don’t cry, bodybuilders and powerlifters, I know it will be hard but you can do it.

Bottom line, you should never be stuck applying only one training method. Whether you train all three metabolic pathways in one workout or mix it up throughout the week, your workouts should incorporate all three training systems.

4. You enjoy feeling like a beast.

Seriously, some people just like a crazy hard workout because it makes them feel tough. However, there are a lot of people out there doing workouts that are very tough but are the wrong kind of workout for their goals or body type.

There are overweight women powerlifting because they are already strong from lifting their heavy bodies around. So, sometimes heavy women love lifting heavy simply because it is something they are good at. They actually may need to reduce their resistance and do more cardiovascular training to burn more fat and calories.

The fact is, everyone hates doing stuff they stink at. I’m definitely one of those people. I’m the most unflexible person on the planet so I hate yoga, but my body needs it. I will never leave a yoga class feeling like a beast, but it’s what my body needs.

5. You feel guilty if you don’t beat yourself up hard enough in the gym.

I think many people use the gym as a form of punishment for all they do wrong throughout the day. Whether it’s making poor food choices or feeling out of control in other areas of their life, sometimes the only thing people feel like they can control is their body.

So, they lift heavy, run fast, and beat their body into submission to make up for the rest of the day. I know because I used to be one of those people. When I was younger, I hated my job, I had no dating life, and I could barely pay my bills. My life was seriously out of control. The one thing I could control was my body, so I spent way too much time in the gym. I worked out all the time, to the point that it became an unhealthy obsession.

Although exercise is healthy and very important, over-exercise is very unhealthy and can damage your body—and even hurt relationships. Maybe the types of workouts you do are great, but you need to find balance with the amount of training you do.

If you are working out because you don’t feel like you deserve a compliment unless you hit the gym or if you are in the gym to erase the bag of M&Ms you ate the night before, you may be working out too hard for the wrong reasons.

Take the fit test

If you really want to measure your physical fitness, you shouldn’t measure it based on whether you can survive a brutal workout. A more accurate way to measure your fitness is to compare yourself to the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) definition of physical fitness. ACSM defines physical fitness as having five specific components.

How many of these five components are you actively improving?

  • Cardiovascular endurance
  • Muscular strength
  • Muscular endurance
  • Flexibility/mobility
  • Body composition

If you are killing it in the gym but your body composition is still out of whack, something needs to change. If you can run a marathon but you can’t squat your bodyweight then something needs to change. If yo
u are strong and fast but can barely reach your shoes, something has to change.

As you change up your routine to better match your goals, you’ll still have tough workouts. They just may look and feel a little different. The key to a successful workout is not whether it kills you, it’s whether it helps you reach your goals.

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Sweat

Fooling Yourself: Common Tricks That Lead To Cheating On Your Diet

The chant my little children use on occasion when accusing a brother of cheating goes something like this: “Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.” If I were to write a chant for weight loss cheaters it might be: “Cheater, cheater, chocolate eater.” I put myself squarely in the frequent diet cheater camp and apply the quote to myself because I was the queen of cheating on my diet. I used a lot of tricks to cheat on my diet, but the only person hurt by my cheating was me. Here are some common diet cheats and solutions on how to stop cheating yourself.

Trick #1: Fudging the Numbers

It’s pretty easy to know how many calories a food has. There is the USDA database, sites like MyFitnessPal, and even books. It’s also pretty easy to fudge your calorie numbers because after all, who but you knows exactly how much ice cream, yogurt, or fruit you ate?

I used to fudge the numbers when I filled out my Weight Watchers booklet, the food diary for my nutritionist, and even in a journal I kept just for myself. In some ways, writing down fewer calories than I ate gave me permission to have just a little bit more for the day. Obviously, you won’t lose weight if you are eating more than you need to drop pounds.

Solution #1

This is an easy one. Just stop. If you eat a bowl of ice cream that is 1 cup instead of 1/2 cup, write it down and calculate the correct number of calories. Be honest with yourself about servings and portions.

Trick #2: Conveniently Forgetting to Write Foods Down

I’ve met with a lot of clients who tell me, “Oh, yeah. I also had a few cookies, two sodas, and a bag of chips but I forgot to write it down.” I understand forgetting to write things down, but if you are doing it all the time you probably aren’t forgetting but choosing to forget.

Solution #2

Write down food and drink immediately after you eat or drink. Don’t wait until that evening or the next day. It all comes back to being honest with yourself.

Trick #3: Blaming a Lack of Weight Loss Anything But Overeating

Weight loss doesn’t happen in a straight line. There are times when you hit a weight loss plateau and times when your weight loss is just plain slow. But, if you are not losing weight at all or keep losing and gaining the same few pounds again and again, you are probably overeating.

Solution #3

For me, acknowledging that I wasn’t really 100 percent into my diet helped me move past the blaming my lack of progress on hormones, the weather, my husband, and the fact I was always tired. It may be that you need to restart your diet, recommit to living a healthier lifestyle, or take a break.

Trick #4: Overestimating Exercise Impact

I didn’t exercise much when I was morbidly obese, but when I did I was very generous with my estimation of how many calories I burned. I’d happily tell myself I had burned 500 or 600 calories during a 10-minute walk and then eat way more food than I needed.

Be skeptical of the calories-burned numbers on the computer panel of exercise machines or websites because they are often overestimated.

Solution #4

Don’t eat back any exercise calories you burn. If you just look at exercise as a way to get more fit and consider the calorie burn as a minor benefit, you will be less likely to reward yourself with extra calories for exercising.

Trick #5: Eating in Secret and Lying About It

Secret eating takes many forms. I ate secretly in the car and while the kids were napping. Other people I know take food into a room and scarf it down while their family is in another room.

I used to fib to my husband when he asked what happened to the ice cream in the freezer. I’d say I didn’t know when I knew exactly what happened to it. I had eaten it all earlier in the day.

Solution #5

Do your best to eat in the company of other people. Never eat in the car or sneak away to stuff some chocolate chips in your mouth.

At the end of the day, the only person you hurt by cheating on your diet is yourself. It doesn’t hurt your family or your friends if you cheat. Just you.

After years of cheating on my diet, I finally acknowledged this truth and lost weight once and for all. Don’t beat yourself up over cheating; instead, acknowledge it happened and promise to turn things around.

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Wellbeing

5 Ways To Feel Your Anger Without Reacting

Last week I had to deal with a legal situation that had been dragging on for years. I went to a settlement hearing to try to get the best possible outcome without going to trial. Although ultimately I was able to achieve that goal, I walked away feeling profoundly angry about the situation that had brought me there.

Without giving details you can trust that I was not permitted a fair due process, and I was at the mercy of the plaintiff because of their power and immunity. Overall I was unfairly treated, and there was nothing I could do about it. This kind of anger is the hardest to cope with because underneath it lives a deep feeling of powerlessness. The only other time I have felt this kind of anger was when my marriage unexpectedly ended against my will. It wasn’t fun then, and this most recent bout of frustrated anger didn’t feel any better.

Anger is an emotion that lives on the surface. Underneath it can be anything from sadness to fear, but more often it’s a sense of powerlessness that lurks below. The feeling of not having control over an outcome can have deep effects on the psyche if left unprocessed and unresolved. A good example of this type of powerlessness can be seen with children who have very little free will because of their dependency on the older people who care for them. If you’ve ever been in a store where a parent refuses to allow a little person to have what they want you’ve probably witnessed a power struggle. The child feels powerless to get what they want and throws a tantrum to release the angry tension of not getting their way. The adult version of this is exactly what we’re talking about, just with a different look to it.

So how do you deal with a feeling of anger when you can’t scream, cry, curse or get vindication in some physical way? You use the following coping methods until the anger dissolves, and you can get to a more rational and calm place in your mind and body.

Vent to a good listener.

Being heard is a helpful first step toward becoming less angry. This isn’t a process of sharing your story after it’s been resolved and you feel calmer. This person has to be able to tolerate your frustration and have a willingness to let you “have your moment.” This may take multiple conversations, but over time, if you share with the right person you’ll feel heard and that in itself is a form of vindication.

Remember your integrity.

If you’ve ever behaved irrationally when angry you know that what follows shortly after is a feeling of shame. Not because you’re a bad person, but because you’ve acted in a way that isn’t in line with your normal character. Anger can drive you to a dark place when it gets the best of you, so remembering your own values and how you want to be perceived will help you walk away or let the moment pass without a reaction.

Give yourself a moment of self-pity.

Try not to tell yourself you shouldn’t be mad. Feeling angry is perfectly normal in many situations, and although it’s an emotion that can lead to negative outcomes, it’s also very human and natural. Give yourself some time to be a victim and feel upset about the situation. This isn’t a free pass to take the “poor me” show on the road, just a bit of self-compassion for what you’ve been through.

Use the 24-hour rule.

There’s a kind of unspoken rule that when you’re mad you should wait 24 hours before taking action. This is because anger is very fiery and it goes as quickly as it comes. Being patient, breathing through the heated moment, and taking a day to reflect will serve you well in the long run. Wait 24 hours before sending an email, calling, suing, or doing whatever you feel compelled to do.

Accept the powerlessness.

The most important piece of the anger resolution puzzle is your inner ability to accept what you’re powerless over. This is a tenet of any good 12-step process and that’s because it works. Realizing that you cannot control all outcomes, people, or situations will release you from even trying. You may want to believe you control things that you don’t, but the sooner you can accept your powerlessness as a natural part of life you’ll suffer less with anger.

There is no reason in the world that you should expect to not get angry. People who never get angry are denying themselves one of the most natural and human experiences. Anger serves as a source of motivation for making a wrong right, and it is what drives us to protect ourselves and the things that are precious to us. Welcome your anger in, but just don’t let it stay too long.

Categories
Sweat

Should You Be Cleaning Your Face With Oil?

We slather our skin with an alarming number of chemicals on a daily basis under the guise of caring for it (or, too often, covering up any evidence of imperfections). A growing number of individuals, though, have been seeking out more natural alternatives. The Oil Cleansing Method (OCM) is one of many skin care regimens making its rounds on blogs and forums alike, with claims of being a near-miracle fix for everything from fine lines to stubborn acne.
Here’s how it works: massage a small amount of castor oil (typically “diluted” with another high quality, cold-pressed oil) onto your face to loosen up all of the oil, dirt, bacteria, and dead skin clogging your pores; then use steam via a hot washcloth to remove it all. It’s meant to be done “regularly but not too frequently,” which is a bit vague but generally measured by how your skin feels. If it’s too dry, back off a bit.
It sounds reassuringly simple, but does it work?

THE PROS

A lot of people do find OCM truly revolutionary. Individuals all over are singing its praises from the virtual rooftops. It removes makeup! It cleans skin without over-drying, because instead of harsh chemicals you’re balancing out the body’s natural oils! It’s inexpensive! It’s luxuriously relaxing!
And you should see the before and after pictures! They’re incredible!
Castor oil, known for its traditional medicinal uses, is the key ingredient. A lot of its skin-healing properties specifically have been attributed to its ricinoleic acid content. If you’re totally freaking out about putting oil on your skin, especially if your skin tends to be oily already (that’s me!), OCM advocates insist that it’s the fact that the cleanser is oil-based that makes it so effective.
The argument is that “like dissolves like,” and in order to clear oil-laced dirt and grime from pores, you can’t rely on water-based cleansers. (Oil and water don’t mix.) In addition to that, the harsh chemicals and soaps in most commercial cleansers dry the skin out, which can actually cause the body to produce more oil, exacerbating the problem in the long run.
Although extensive research hasn’t been done on the subject (not at all uncommon for home remedies and alternative medicines), it makes sense, right? I was certainly convinced. I bought myself some nice, organic castor oil and sweet almond oil, because the internet told me that would be a good combination for my skin, and I dove right in. I was excited! I was optimistic! This was going to be awesome!

THE CONS

It wasn’t awesome. It was very stressful. The first few days were ok, but after about a week, I started noticing far worse breakouts than I had ever had before. You know, breakouts of the gross, cystic, no-amount-of-makeup-is-going-to-hide-this variety. I read about “detox periods,” where skin can flare up a bit for the first week or so, so I stuck it out. Surely it would get better.
It didn’t. It got a lot worse, and I’m not the only one who has experienced this. In fact, the more “research” (blog posts and forums) I read, the more complicated it got. For every few glowing reviews of the method, there were stories exactly like mine.
The anecdotal concerns are not wholly unfounded, either. Some sources say that although oil cleansing works for some, it may wind up clogging what’s known as “problem skin.” Additionally, using a steamy hot washcloth can actually be irritating and cause problems down the road. This last concern isn’t an issue with oil cleansing itself, but with the method that many sources recommend you use to remove the oil from your skin afterward.

THE BOTTOM LINE: FIT…IF YOU DARE.

Are those of us with negative experiences simply doing it wrong? Maybe we haven’t found the right oil blends for our skin. Maybe we should use cooler rags, or better yet, dry ones. Maybe I should be more diligent about not reusing the same washcloth a few (way too many) times. (Oops.) I’m certainly willing to try troubleshooting a little more before throwing in the towel altogether.
Here’s the thing with our health, though. Whether we are talking about nutrition, skin care, physical activity, or any other facet of it: We are all different. I have no doubt that OCM works wonders for many people, but it may not be the right option for me (or you), and that’s ok.
If you’re having trouble with your skin, consider all possible causes and remedies. We can cleanse religiously, but if there’s an underlying problem (diet and hormones being common culprits), OCM is merely a Band-Aid at best.
OCM might help you get by day-to-day while your body heals, but it’s what’s going on under the surface that really matters.

Categories
Wellbeing

A Friend In Need Needs YOU Indeed

I’m convinced that friendship is one of the greatest gifts we have as human beings. We can have fun together, rely on each other, and learn quite a bit along the way. But a long-standing friendship usually sees one or both individuals getting thrown an emotional curveball. Job loss, breakups, health issues, problems at work, mental illness, and just overall discontentment with life are all examples of negative possibilities that someone may have to face. 

If someone close to you is experiencing something difficult, what is your role? How do you help alleviate the suffering? Is it even your place to get involved? As a therapist, I’ve noticed that sometimes our instincts of what to say or do are well intentioned but can sometimes be the opposite of what the other person needs. Here are some suggestions of how you can help a friend who isn’t happy.

The first step is to show empathy. Even in close-knit relationships, there are differing levels of intimacy, and if a friend is vulnerable enough to open up to you about a struggle, respond kindly and compassionately. Try your best to really listen, and don’t get weirded out or back away from something that’s uncomfortable or unpleasant. Be a “bad weather friend,” not a fair weather one. Everything you say or do should be rooted in empathy. 

So often we jump to solutions, but just be with your friend in her pain. Most of the time we just want to know we’re not alone in whatever hard times we face. And while you can be involved in an appropriate way, remember that you don’t have to own the problem. It can be a wonderful role for you to offer support, but it’s not your job to “fix” someone else or solve her troubles. If you find yourself bogged down by her problems or thinking about them more than you should, it might be time to take a step back and set an emotional boundary. Don’t take her load on as your own.

Another way to help is to ask questions and reflect back what she is expressing to you. This demonstrates that you care about her and are engaged in her situation. It can also give you a better understanding of what she’s going through. Consider saying something like, “How are you feeling about all of this?” or “So, what you’re saying is that ______.” Avoid statements like “I know just how you feel!” or “It’s not that bad.” These are minimizing and won’t help your friend cope or find relief. Sticking to questions and validating statements keeps the focus on her instead of on you.

So should you give recommendations to your friend about what she should do? 

This can be really tricky. Unsolicited advice is almost always a bad idea. On the other hand, you may have some insight into her dilemma that could be helpful. A good way to approach this situation is to simply ask, “Are you open for feedback?” 

If your friend is relaying something to you and you don’t exactly agree with her take on it, simply acknowledge that it sounds like it’s really difficult, then ask her if she wants to hear another perspective. This is respectful and gives her the opportunity to decide whether she wants to hear your ideas or if maybe what she really needs is for you to listen. Also, let your friend feel what she’s feeling. By this I mean don’t encourage her to just get over whatever’s bothering her. If she needs to cry, let her cry. Sometimes the only way to move past painful emotions is directly through them.

No one likes to see a close friend go through something difficult. However, this can be an opportunity for you to step up and be there for her when she really needs you and can even improve your relationship. Respond with empathy, use validating statements and questions, and just try be there for her in her pain.