Month: July 2017

As a brand-new mom, my first night at home was nothing short of a nightmare. I left the hospital with a sleepy babe who was barely interested in nursing and found myself staring at a wide-awake and furiously ravenous newborn at 2 in the morning on her fourth day of life.

I knew she was hungry, but I couldn’t get her to latch on to my breast. We went round and round, me offering her the breast, her screaming, and me crying because I felt like I was doing something wrong. It took hours to get her to eat a full meal, and it felt like as soon as we were finished, it was time to start the whole process over again.
The next morning, I found myself making a desperate call to my lactation consultant. A few hours later we were in her office, troubleshooting our breastfeeding woes.

For my baby and me, there was more than one problem to address. Her latch needed to be corrected, and I needed to pump some to encourage more milk production. But one of the biggest reasons she was so pissed was because I had been missing her hunger cues.
It wasn’t enough to follow a schedule—to feed her every few hours or to wait for her to cry. I needed to follow her lead, but I didn’t know what I was looking for.

Every baby is different, but there are some general rules you can follow to make sure you are feeding them before they are so hungry that they’re angry. Follow these hunger cues outlined by lactation consultants and infant nutrition experts to determine if your infant is hungry or full.

Your Baby’s Very First Signs of Hunger

If your baby is crying, they’re actually in the late stages of feeling hungry and you’ve missed some more subtle clues that they were ready for their next meal. Babies can’t talk, but they definitely know how to communicate their needs. Hunger cues begin with some less noticeable behaviors and gradually become more obvious over time.

Restlessness is one of the earliest signs an infant wants to eat, according to breastfeeding advocacy organization La Leche League. Each baby may display restlessness differently from others, but some of the most common behaviors include rapid eye movements, wriggling around, or disruptions to their sleep.
Some babies may also exhibit tension, according to La Leche League, which can look like clenched fists or rigidity of their arms.

Most little ones will also smack their lips, suck on their fists, or open and close their mouths to let you know they want to eat. If you notice any of these cues, go ahead and settle into a comfy chair and give your baby a chance to satisfy their hunger.

Your Baby’s Secondary Signs of Hunger

If you missed your baby’s first signs of hunger, don’t worry, they won’t give up easily. If a newborn baby isn’t fed quickly after they first begin to experience hunger, their behavior will escalate, and their hunger cues will become more apparent.

Babies are born with an amazing reflex called rooting. From their first hour of life, a typically developing baby will turn their head toward their mother’s breast or a bottle if they feel a touch to their cheek.
Their mouth will also make a sucking motion. If your baby is rooting around, this is a pretty clear indication that they are ready to eat. If they are older than 4 months—when rooting stops being reflexive and becomes an intentional action—you can be certain that rooting means your child wants to eat.
In addition to rooting, a baby who is growing hungrier may try to get in a position to nurse, according to breastfeeding resource Kelly Mom. Older babies may also start to pull on your clothes or even swat at your chest.

No matter the age of your baby, fussiness can be a sign of hunger. Of course, fussiness isn’t always an indication that your baby needs to eat, but if isn’t time for sleep and a diaper change isn’t the answer, it is probably wise to give nursing a try.

Crying: Your Baby’s Last-Ditch Effort to Communicate Hunger

Many parents believe that crying is their baby’s way of communicating that they’re ready to eat, but that actually isn’t true. A baby who is crying to signal hunger is usually only doing so because their other cues have failed.

Waiting until a baby is upset to initiate nursing or offer a bottle can be problematic, and some mothers may have trouble getting their baby to settle down enough to eat.
Additionally, mothers who are responsive to their infant’s hunger and satiety cues are decreasing both Mom’s and Baby’s risk for obesity, according to the journal Appetite.

If you’ve missed your baby’s early hunger cues, don’t fret. Calm your baby before offering the breast or a bottle, and make a note to pay more careful attention in the future.

How do I know if my baby is full?

Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding, being in tune to your baby’s satiety is just as important to their health as being aware of hunger signs.

In fact, practicing responsiveness to cues babies offer that they’re ready to wrap up their meal can help decrease their chance of obesity later in life by encouraging self-regulation of hunger, according to the journal Physiology & Behavior.
The good news is that babies are pretty great at letting their mother know they’re no longer hungry. Some babies will turn their head away from the breast, clamp their mouth shut, or simply fall asleep, according to Enfamil.

In some cases, babies may not break their latch but their sucking will slow or stop, which is a good indication you can break the latch to end the feeding. Older babies who aren’t hungry could become distracted by what is going on around them, becoming more interested in playing than eating.
If your baby uses a bottle, you may have to watch more closely for feeding cues. It is easier to overfeed a formula-fed baby, according to research by the University of Akron.

Many parents may assume they should encourage their infant to finish their bottle, but it is actually more important to watch for your baby to signal they are through, even if that means wasting some formula.

Should I feed on demand or encourage a schedule?

Perhaps one of the most hotly debated topics among breastfeeding mothers is whether they should put their baby on a schedule or not. There are some proponents of scheduled feeding, such as Gary Ezzo, author of On Becoming Babywise. But most lactation experts advise against scheduled feedings, especially for young babies.

Young babies have small stomachs, and breast milk digests more quickly than formula. Additionally, the amount of milk a mother makes will adjust based on demand, so a mother who withholds feeding her baby in an attempt to get on a schedule may see a decrease in her milk supply.
Because of this, it is recommended that mothers not space feedings out by any more than three hours and that mothers respond to their babies cues and feed on demand as much as they are able.

If putting your baby on a schedule is important to you, lactation consultant Jessica Barton offers a few suggestions on her blog. First, she says it is helpful for parents to spend a couple of days paying attention the natural rhythm of their child.
Keep track of when your baby is eating and sleeping and then begin to build a schedule from there. Additionally, parents should be realistic about the length of time between feedings, since babies under the age of 6 months should nurse 10 to 12 times in a period of 24 hours.

Of course, like many parenting practices, on-demand feeding isn’t an exact science. Knowing yourself and understanding your baby’s unique needs—combined with advice from your own lactation consultant—is the best approach for developing a feeding routine that works for your family.

Babies cry. Tears are an infant’s way of letting their parent know they’re hungry, tired, or they need to be near their mom, and a baby’s ability to communicate those needs is important to their survival.

Fussy nights and tear-filled afternoons are a reality of motherhood that most have come to accept, but that doesn’t necessarily mean most moms wouldn’t jump at the chance to cut back on tears if they knew how it’s done.
Of course, all parents like the idea of happier babies, but that is much easier said than done. When my baby fusses, I find myself working through a list of possible reasons. Does he need to eat? Is he tired or uncomfortable? Does he need a diaper change? Is he bored?

Sometimes, even after I have worked my way through this mental checklist, he continues to fuss and I’m left clueless about how to soothe his frustrations.
There is one population who appears to have figured out the key to keeping their babies calm, according to a study published in The Journal of Pediatrics. Danish parents seem to have nailed down the trick to raising babies who cry less and grow into happier kids.

The study took a close look at parental reports of fussing or crying in newborns as observed in 28 different studies. Researchers compiled the data on 8,690 infants, specifically examining the mean fussiness in newborn babies based on their age.
The data found by researchers shone a light on Denmark, where children cry significantly less than children in the other countries included in the study.

Although it is difficult to pinpoint one specific reason that Danish parents have an advantage over new parents in the rest of the world, according to the study’s authors, they did raise a few possible areas that warrant closer examination.
For instance, there is a chance that there are economic factors that influence parents in Denmark, and parents are more responsive to their newborns’ needs. The researchers also speculated that genetics could play a part, with babies inheriting their parents’ genes that influence their temperament.

Others have chimed in with theories on what influences how little Danish babies cry. Jessica Joelle Alexander, author of The Danish Way of Parenting, told The Guardian that she believes paid maternity leave could be directly tied to this phenomenon.
Denmark has one of the best maternity leaves out there, giving mothers a month off before their baby is born and then an entire year at home with their child after their birth.

It makes sense that Danish babies are happier, because their parents are less stressed and more capable of responding to their needs during that first year.

Danish babies grow into happier kids.

Fewer tears aren’t the only bragging rights Danish babies have over their fellow children around the globe. Older kids in Denmark are also all around happier than children in the rest of the world. Each year countries around the world are carefully surveyed for a World Happiness Report. In this report, the Danish are consistently found to be the happiest people in the world.

Of course, there isn’t one single factor that gives Denmark the corner on happiness, but there are definitely people making some convincing arguments. For instance, inequality of overall well-being is higher in countries that report low happiness scores.
One of the most popular theories, perhaps, is that happiness is directly linked to the way the Danish parent. In fact, there is an entire book on the topic, comparing parenting methods in America with those used in Denmark.

From the way we discipline to the time our children spend outdoors, The Danish Way of Parenting makes a pretty convincing case that American parents could raise happier children if they were simply willing to take a closer look at what parents are doing in Denmark. In fact, there is even a Ted talk discussing this approach.

What American Parents Can Learn From Denmark

So what’s the secret to raising happier kids? According to the authors of The Danish Way of Parenting, there isn’t a simple answer. In one article for Brit + Co, the writers outline seven keys to parenting the Danish way. It’s evident that implementing these practices would require a complete reworking of the typical American parenting model.

American parents, for instance, tend to rely on harsher parenting practices, according to The Guardian. The majority of parents in the States are still using spanking in their discipline toolbox, despite research that indicates the ineffectiveness and harmfulness of this practice.
In contrast, Danish parents rely heavily on using empathy to connect with their children, providing clear boundaries but avoiding ultimatums or demanding obedience. Instead, parents in Denmark work to develop a mutual respect with their children, explaining the reasoning behind rules and calmly responding to challenging behaviors.

Parenting happy children extends beyond what we do when our kids are upset or challenging our patience. How we approach their downtime directly plays into the state of their well-being, according to the authors of The Danish Way of Parenting.
Danish parents place a high priority on being together—so much so that their word for togetherness, hygge, has become a trend all over the Western world. For the Danes, family time isn’t a trend, however, it is a daily way of life. Whether it’s family meals, a hike, or a project, kids who spend regular time with their parents are more secure and all around happier.

Statistics regarding the state of the family dinner in America indicate that 25 percent of families eat together fewer than three nights a week. If this is any indication of how the rest of the day is spent—and we’re pretty sure it is, we can say with confidence that American families are not spending enough time together.
The flipside of the practice of togetherness in Danish families is that children are also given an incredible amount of independence. Whereas American parents may feel pressure to keep their kids scheduled or offer entertainment, Danish families think free play is the key to a happy childhood.

When it comes to the logistics of American parenting, there is a marked difference. For instance, children in America have quite busy schedules, and 1 and 5 parents with an average income of $75,000 says their kids’ lives are hectic.
After-school activities dominate the schedules of American children, according to the Pew Research Center, with 73 percent of parents reporting their child is in sports and 54 percent in the arts after school or on weekends.

Even children with free time may not be given a lot of opportunities for unsupervised play, since most American parents believe kids should be at least 10 years old before they can play outside without a parent present.
It is easy to be overwhelmed by the huge difference between Danish and American parenting, especially when we have so little control over factors like paid maternity leave.

Don’t let that discourage you if you would like to make same changes. Start small, by setting goals for cutting back on screen time and getting your kids outside more often, sitting down for a family meal three or more times a week, or reading up on responding to tantrums with empathy instead of anger.
Even a small change toward more positive parenting can make a big difference in the well-being of your child.

During my first pregnancy, I was surprised to find I felt a strong pull to talk with my baby. Every day was a new experience for me, and so many parts of my pregnancy felt unreal.

When I would lie in bed at night chatting about the day or simply saying, “Hello in there,” I found I felt more connected to my child. It was hard to imagine that inside my growing belly a human being already existed, but the more I talked to the baby in my womb the more comfortable I felt with the idea of becoming a mother.
As it turns out, having a chat with her unborn child doesn’t just make the mother feel connected, it actually has an impact on her developing baby.

Science has found that babies begin learning in the womb and that they are forming memories about the things they are exposed to the most before they are born.

The Science of Prenatal Memories

Since scientists can’t ask babies what they remember from their time spent in their mothers’ wombs, they have had to get creative when it comes to figuring out what newborns remember.

Researchers have relied heavily on studying animals to indicate how early memories are formed, why they are forgotten, and what kind of implications these memories have for a child.
What most moms know simply from observation is that most children and adults can’t report detailed memories from before their birth. Many have hypothesized on why this is the case (such as Freud’s theory of repression), but it wasn’t until recently that we better understood the facts.
Observing the brains of infant rats clued researchers in to what happens to early memories, and they published their findings in the journal Science. The truth is, the infant brain is developing at a rapid pace.

This growth requires the formation of new brain cells, and these new brain cells actually crowd out the connections made by early memories. When researchers slowed down the brain development of infant mice, they actually found that early memories were more cemented in their brain.
The application of this finding to human beings is that the developing brain is making memories in the womb, but as your child grows older their amazing neurological development is erasing those memories.

It’s fascinating knowing that babies start learning in the womb and can still remember many of the things they learn after birth.
Want to know more? Here are the facts on what your baby remembers from the womb.

Your baby remembers the words you say.

It turns out that talking to my baby while she was growing inside of me wasn’t as silly as it sometimes felt. The truth is, she was forming memories of the words I said repeatedly—and your baby is too.

A team of scientists at the University of Helsinki discovered the extent of a newborn’s language memory by giving mothers a recording of a completely made-up word. These mothers were asked to play this recording repeatedly over their last months of pregnancy. By the time the babies were born, they had heard the sound more than 25,000 times.
After the babies were born, the researchers used EEG technology to test for recognition of the word. What they found was that when compared with babies who hadn’t heard the word during pregnancy, the brains of babies who had been exposed to the word in the womb remembered it after birth.

The practical implications of this information aren’t clear. Typically mothers are discouraged from playing loud recordings near their womb because they may cause overstimulation. Researchers hope further studies can reveal the potential uses for the discovery of language learning in utero.

Your baby remembers your voice.

It isn’t just the words your babies hear that matter, the people they hear most frequently have an impact their prenatal memories, too.

Research has compared how infants respond to the voices of strangers to those they hear most often during the third trimester, and it was undeniable that they prefer familiar voices. It shouldn’t be surprising that among all of the familiar voices they heard after birth, babies showed preference for the voice of their mothers.

Babies remember their birth mother’s native language.

Amazingly, babies are forming memories of their mother’s native language long before they start talking. One study took a close look at the language memory of internationally adopted children, specifically those adopted immediately following birth.

What they found was that although these babies hadn’t been exposed to their mother’s native tongue since their birth, they recognized it and showed preference for it. These findings indicate that babies begin to learn their native language in the womb, according to The New York Times.

Your baby remembers the music you play.

We’ve all seen those prenatal speakers—the ones that can be attached to a mother’s growing bump, but is there any merit to this gadget? Or are manufacturers simply looking to make a buck off of expectant parents?

The answer is yes and no. Babies do remember the music they hear in the womb, according to research by the University of Helsinki, but there isn’t any known development associated with playing it loudly near your growing belly during pregnancy.
Researchers instructed 12 expectant mothers to play “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” five days a week during the last several weeks of their pregnancy, and they also followed a control group of 12 mothers who did not.

These babies were exposed to the song again immediately following their birth and at the age of 4 months. Researchers found that they exhibited a brain response to the song that the control group did not.

Your baby remembers the food you eat.

The old joke about eating for two may actually have some merit. If you’re hitting up your favorite taco place twice a week (thanks to those killer pregnancy cravings), your baby is getting a taste, too.

There is convincing research that suggests when your baby gulps in the amniotic fluid that surrounds them in the womb, the flavor changes based on what mom has been eating lately, according to NPR. Additionally, after babies start eating solid foods, research suggests they show preference for foods they were repeatedly exposed to in the womb.

Why Prenatal Memories Matter

The science behind the formation of prenatal memories is fascinating. If babies lose track of most of their memories from their time in the womb, why does any of this matter?

Researchers believe that infant memories include more than the words they hear or the music they’re exposed to and that the effects of these memories aren’t all positive.
The truth is, some researchers are certain that prenatal exposure to stressful noises may have an adverse effect on neurological development. Because of this, they believe there may be value in encouraging mothers to avoid situations that involving yelling, loud music, or obtrusive workplace noises.

When it comes to the food you eat while you’re pregnant, this research matters because scientists believe that what you eat may influence your child’s own food preferences after birth.
Of course, don’t feel anxious if your pregnancy aversion kept you from eating those dark, leafy greens every day. You can always change your child’s palate by repeatedly exposing them to new flavors once they start eating solid foods.

So what does this research mean for the expectant mom? It means you don’t have to change much about what you are doing already: Avoid stressful or overstimulating noises if possible and keep chatting with your unborn baby.