Categories
Lifestyle

Are These "Unsanitary" Things Really That Bad For You?

Let’s talk about germs and the meaning of life. Believe it or not, they’re related.
Your life does have a purpose, or at least your body does, and it is to serve as a roaming nation of microorganisms with a population in the trillions. Microbes outnumber our own cells 10 to 1, and the invisible communities they form are essential for the healthy functioning of the [linkbuilder id=”2134″ text=”human body”]—just as our bodies are essential as homes, even neighborhoods, for them.

Understanding how the microbiome changes and how it correlates to health and disease is really going to be one of the challenges of the next several decades in medicine.

Doctors call these microscopic residents microbiota, and their collective genetic information is the microbiome. They are vast. The microbiome of your gastrointestinal tract alone contains 100 times as many genes as you inherited from your parents.
So who are these fellow travelers?
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“The human microbiome is composed of bacteria, archaea, viruses, and eukaryotic microbes that reside in and on our bodies,” Andrew Shreiner and colleagues wrote in a 2015 article for Current Opinion in Gastroenterology. Essentially, we are swarming with microscopic organisms. In a very real sense, we are partially made of germs.
“There’s a microbiome present basically all throughout your body, and they perform very vital tasks for the human body,” Dr. Amesh Adalja, infectious disease physician and a senior associate at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security tells HealthyWay.
“They help the immune system mature, they prevent potentially harmful microorganisms from getting a foothold, they synthesize vitamins for us. So you really want to have a healthy and robust microbiome.”
Still, as Adalja tells us, “We’re kind of in the infancy of microbiome science. We don’t know all the influences and how much an individual’s microbiome changes.”
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As researchers uncover more and more facts about the microbes that live within, upon, and around us, traditional models of sanitation may face increased scrutiny. We can’t just blast away all the germs to eliminate illness, it seems. We need microbes to survive.
Jerry Kanellos is the CEO of Immuron, a biotech firm that develops microbiome-related interventions. He tells HealthyWay that it’s time for a paradigm shift in thinking about and achieving healthy cleanliness.
“We should all reconsider our approaches to sanitation,” he says. “Look at the soaps and disinfectants [people] purchase. Most are targeted at bacteria in a very broad-spectrum approach.”
In conjunction with overprescription of antibiotics, this scorched-earth policy of sanitation is leading pathogens to evolve resistance to the human antimicrobial arsenal, Kanellos explains.
“We are now seeing the evolution of antibiotic-resistant super-bugs which will be a significant challenge to the medical community now and into the future,” he says.
Adalja puts the question of sanitation in even starker terms.
“To be completely a sterile person, without a microbiome, would mean death,” Adalja says.
Given this emerging understanding, then, how much should we worry about traditionally espoused means of controlling infection?
The internet is full of facts and figures about the fecal particles on your phone, the germs on your dog’s tongue, the danger of the “five-second rule.” But could these factoids be washed away by a new understanding of the human body’s relationship with microbes?
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In other words, are all germs poison, or do some of them make us who we are in some way, pulling essential levers inside the body where the unseen dramas of wellness unfold?
To answer these questions, let’s look at some things commonly considered “unsanitary” by the paranoia-loving internet to see how they hold up to the scrutiny of science.

1. Failing to Wash Your Hands

Your environment influences the microbes that live on and within you. You pick them up, sometimes literally, with your hands.

Your microbiome emanates from you when you cough or sneeze or even when you breathe.

“You will pick up things and you will transmit things in the microbiome, not in a pathogenic [aka disease-causing] manner, but people’s microbiomes are influenced by these factors,” says Adalja.
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The trouble is that we don’t know how exactly. Not yet. So where does that leave the good old-fashioned practice of washing your hands before every meal?
“Washing your hands is easy, and it’s one of the most effective ways to prevent the spread of germs,” reports the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That organization continues to recommend frequent handwashing with soap and water before meals, before and after interacting with sick people, and after using the toilet or blowing your nose.
Adalja agrees, but with one important caveat.
“I would avoid using antibiotic-impregnated soaps that are not really necessary,” he says. “Soap and water is fine for the vast majority of activities… I would avoid the antibacterial soaps that people are using because that just fosters resistance and really disrupts the microbiome.”
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So no real change here. Stick to good old-fashioned soap (perhaps a nicely scented, all natural bar, even?) and water. And keep on washing those hands.

2. Sharing the Air

Anyone who’s woken up to a partner’s morning breath could tell you that we exchange microbes through the act of breathing.
“Any time you exhale, there are going to be microorganisms…in your breath, so in that sense, your microbiome emanates from you when you cough or sneeze or even when you breathe,” Adalja says.
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We surround ourselves with a cloud of microbes with every breath, and most people carry pathogens even when they’re healthy—that’s according to the National Institutes of Health in its groundbreaking Human Microbiome Project. So why aren’t we always getting each other sick?
The answer could be that cohabitating partners tend to have similar microbiota communities. You share the same environment, you eat the same foods…essentially, your guts match. Isn’t that romantic?
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“We see that people who cohabitate or spend a lot of time together, they do exchange parts of their microbiome,” Adalja says. So go ahead and share a smooch—as long as neither one of you is actively ailing.

3. Owning a Pet

To certain non-pet-owners, the concept of allowing an animal free rein in the house seems, frankly, a bit gross. And it is true that cats tread litter onto surfaces and dogs have potentially pathogenic bacteria on their tongues.
But it’s also true that your pets have already changed your microbiome in measurable ways, as you have theirs. We’re not saying you should let the cats climb on your dishes, but some research suggests that the diversity of microbes that pets bring to your indoor environment could be beneficial.
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“We don’t know all the influences and how much an individual’s microbiome changes, but clearly, we know that even people who have pets in their house have different microbiomes,” Adalja says.
“There’s definitely an influence that goes both ways with what you’re around and the microbiome of other organisms you might be exposed to, like your dog or your cat, or the people you cohabitate with. That’s going to influence your microbiome and vice versa.”
Again, we’ve exhausted our review of the current research before coming to a satisfying conclusion. But that’s okay. The quest for knowledge is ongoing. We’ll know more soon.

4. Leaving Your Handbag on the Restroom Floor

Maybe you’ve heard it said that your purse is home to more germs than a toilet seat.
Actually, this factoid is usually misreported. Most of these claims refer to a 2012 study that found “the handles of women’s handbags are home to more bacteria than the average toilet flush.” (Our italics.) It doesn’t help the researchers’ credibility that the study was sponsored and promoted by a manufacturer of sanitation products.
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Besides, reports the Washington Post, “a toilet seat is a terrible yardstick of germy-ness.” Studies have found plenty of fecal bacteria on toilet seats, some of it potentially pathogenic. But, as The New York Times notes, “the danger is minimal unless the germs get into an open cut or are carried by a hand to the mouth, nose or eyes.”
This brings us full circle to the sensible and easy practice of washing our hands. And if you’re concerned about getting bathroom germs on your purse, maybe hang it from the hook on the stall door instead of throwing it on the floor of the public restroom. That’s not great from a hygienic standpoint.

Germs, Health, Self, and Environment

The emerging science of the microbiome could change our assumptions about cleanliness, health, and even the nature of the individual itself. Look, we don’t want to sound like an undergraduate burnout fresh from the drum circle, but doesn’t this sort of break down the wall between the self and the environment in fascinating ways?

We’re finding out more and more that the microbiome is at least, at this point, correlated to certain health states.

Just think. You do not end at the limits of your skin. You are not a body alone. You breathe some essential part of yourself out in little puffs everywhere you go. The other moves in. The self moves out. In a very real sense, not religious or spiritual at all, but physically, you are your environment.
Research on the human body’s bacteriological makeup has exploded in recent years. These ideas have made their way to mainstream audiences. Popular authors like Michael Pollan make the profound argument that our bodies wouldn’t function if it weren’t for these secret worlds of life within us.
We can’t wait to see what the researchers come up with next.
HealthyWay
In time, we may be able to leverage this astounding state of being into medical interventions for a wide variety of afflictions. Of course, we might not; that’s how early science is in its understanding of the human microbiome. We just don’t know where it’s going.
“Understanding how the microbiome changes and how it correlates to health and disease is really going to be one of the challenges of the next several decades in medicine,” Adalja says. “Because we’re finding out more and more that the microbiome is at least, at this point, correlated to certain health states and I think eventually what we’re trying to do is find out [whether] the microbiome [is] causative of certain disease states, for everything from obesity to autism.”

Categories
Nosh

This Is The Healthy Fruit Pizza Recipe We've All Been Waiting For

What if dessert were actually healthy? It can be! We’ve taken a crowd-pleasing fruit pizza, switched up a few key ingredients, and created a healthier version of the original that’s downright delicious and surprisingly good for you.

Our recipe showcases a rainbow of vibrant, antioxidant-rich fruit sitting atop a fluffy cloud of coconut cream and a scrumptious paleo cookie. We’ve stuffed this delightful dessert full of wholesome ingredients, swapping out the refined sugar for honey and making it all gluten free and paleo friendly.

HealthyWay
Brooke Lark

A slice of this fruity treat has enough nutritional power to serve for breakfast, yet makes a stunning and delicious dessert for any party or special occasion.

We’ve kept the ingredient list to a minimum, packing in high-nutrient foods that support your overall health. Simple, good-quality ingredients make all the difference.

Fresh, ripe fruit, a five-ingredient paleo crust, and a three-ingredient coconut whip are all it takes to bring this healthy dessert together.

Perfect for breakfast, brunch, or dessert, this fruit pizza satisfies while providing the balanced nutrition your body needs. With a recipe this easy and straightforward, our paleo version of fruit pizza will become your new favorite. Why not serve a celebration-worthy dessert that’s both delicious and incredibly good for you?

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Brooke Lark

Let’s talk crust…and not the sugar cookie kind! We’ve kicked refined flour and saturated fat to the curb, creating a five-ingredient paleo sugar cookie dough that’s full of healthy fats and protein. The best part? It tastes amazing!

We’ve replaced the flour with a combo of finely shredded unsweetened coconut, almond butter, egg, and coconut sugar. That gives the dough a good dose of protein to keep you feeling full long after eating.

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Protein also keeps your body’s metabolism going throughout the day.

Almond butter and coconut cream contribute healthy fats to this recipe, aiding in stabilizing blood sugar and taming inflammation. The combo of high-quality fat and protein is like a one-two punch to keep you feeling full and satisfied—all that nutrition in one delicious crust!

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Ripe berries, juicy sliced mangos, and any other fresh fruit you can imagine can be piled high on this dessert pizza! Fruit is packed with vitamin C, a powerful antioxidant that boosts the immune system. It’s also packed with fiber, which keeps you satisfied after you eat and provides blood sugar stability.

What about the dairy? We wanted to keep this dessert dairy free for all those who are lactose intolerant and have sensitive tummies. So we swapped out the usual cream cheese filling for coconut cream. (Want to know more about a dairy-free diet? Check out this article about what you gain from cutting out dairy.)

When making the whipped coconut cream, use coconut cream or two cans of full-fat coconut milk. Chill the cans overnight, which will harden the fat in the coconut milk. About 15 minutes before you’re ready to whip, chill your mixer’s whisk attachment and bowl.

Carefully open the can of coconut milk, discard the liquid, and place the hardened cream in the bowl. Whip on high for a few minutes, adding sweetener and extract. Voilà! A dairy-free alternative to whipped cream.

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Since coconut has many amazing health benefits, we thought we’d share some of them. Coconut oil is a unique saturated fat that has a medium-chain triglyceride formation. It raises levels of “good” cholesterol, decreasing the risk of heart disease.

Coconut oil also contains lauric acid, which can aid in balancing your intestinal flora and help prevent topical and internal infections. Coconut oil also boosts your immune function, may improve energy levels, and protects from a wide assortment of degenerative conditions.

This recipe swaps out refined sugar for raw honey and coconut sugar. Imagine bees picking up trace elements while going from plant to plant, then going back to the hive.

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The honey they make contains small amounts of minerals like zinc and selenium, as well as some vitamins. It also has antibacterial qualities that keep it fr
om spoiling. Although honey has more calories than sugar, it’s sweeter, so you’ll end up needing less of it to sweeten a dessert like this one.

Coconut sugar also contains trace amounts of vitamins and minerals, and contains a fiber that may help people with diabetes keep glucose levels in check. I think we picked some clear winners!

Without further ado, here is our healthier fruit pizza. Take a peek at how it’s done in the video, then look below for the full recipe and other tasty alternative fruit pizzas.

Paleo Fruit Pizza

Yield: 8 servings

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 1 hour

2 cups finely shredded unsweetened coconut

3/4 cup coconut sugar

1/2 cup almond butter

1 egg

1 (15 oz.) can coconut cream, chilled

2–3 tbsp. raw honey

1/2 tsp. pure almond extract

1 cup finely diced strawberries

1 cup finely diced mango

1 cup finely diced pineapple

4 kiwifruits, peeled and finely diced

1/2 pint blueberries and/or blackberries

Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

HealthyWay
Brooke Lark

In a large bowl, mix together coconut, coconut sugar, almond butter, and egg until a thick dough forms. Spread on a parchment-lined pizza sheet. Cover with a second piece of parchment and use a rolling pin to roll dough to 1/4″–1/2″ thick. Remove top piece of parchment before baking.

Bake for 13–15 minutes, or until the edges of the pizza begin to turn golden. Allow to cool completely.

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Open coconut cream, drain out any excess water.

In a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat coconut cream on high until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Fold in honey and almond extract. Spread atop cooled cookie crust.

HealthyWay
Brooke Lark

Arrange fruits atop the pizza. Serve immediately or refrigerate until ready to serve. For best results, serve within 3 hours.

Sprinkle on extra toppings for a special treat!

Toasted coconut, sliced almonds, dark chocolate drizzle, dark chocolate chips or shavings, gluten-free granola, dusting of cinnamon, seeds (poppy, chia, hemp, sunflower), garnishes (mint, basil, or edible flowers like nasturtium).

Need fruit ideas? Here are a few, but let your imagination run wild.

Mandarin oranges, clementine segments, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, pineapple, kiwi, banana, peaches, mango slices

Tips

– Create an extra elegant and beautiful dessert by using dragon fruit, oranges, grapefruit, and figs.

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– Sticky dough dilemma? Oil your utensils with coconut oil before making the dough. You may need to ditch your utensils and mix with your hands. If so, rub coconut oil on your hands to prevent sticking.

– For a frosting shortcut, use coconut milk yogurt (like COYO). It won’t whip up fluffy, but it makes a tasty swap.

– Make this recipe vegan by replacing the honey with maple syrup and replacing the egg with a flax egg.

– Whip up a flax egg by mix 1 Tbsp flaxseed meal with 2.5 teaspoons water. Allow to thicken for 5 minutes before adding to the recipe.

– Make sure to slice the fruit thinly.

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– If you have little ones afoot, let them help decorate!

– Change up your fruit depending on what’s in season—citrus for winter, pears and apples for fall, fresh berries in summer.

Want even more delicious and healthy fruit pizza recipes?

No-Bake Paleo Fruit Pizza

Sneak in even more healthy omega-3 fatty acids with a no-bake paleo fruit pizza with a flaxseed crust. (Source: Physical Kitchness)

Paleo Chocolate Fruit Pizza With a Brownie Cookie Crust

Chocolate lovers rejoice! This paleo chocolate fruit pizza has a brownie cookie crust. Don’t worry—this indulgent dessert still has major health benefits. (Source: Joy Food Sunshine)

Paleo Fruit Tart With Banana Pastry Cream

Have a hankering for banana cream? This paleo fruit tart has a dreamy layer of banana cream to satisfy your sweet tooth cravings the healthy way! (Source: Thriving on Paleo)

Categories
Lifestyle

10 Incredible Beauty Subscription Boxes

Looking to expand your beauty repertoire? Beauty boxes—monthly deliveries of hand-picked skincare, haircare, and makeup products—offer a great way for you to try new goodies while staying within your budget. Here are a few of our favorites.

1. BomiBox

Billed as a Korean beauty box, BomiBox is actually quite a bit more versatile than it sounds. The items within come from Japan, Taiwan, and Korea, and with one or two full-size items per month, it’s a fantastic value.

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Cratejoy

Review: “I absolutely love this box! Such great products and you definitely get more than your money[‘s] worth. Their packaging is amazing and I absolutely love how they try to incorporate a lot of different K-Beauty items for you to try out. I haven’t splurge[d] on buying products from other K-Beauty site[s] since subscribing to Bomibox.”

Get it from Cratejoy here.

2. BeautyFIX

BeautyFIX costs a little more than some of the other boxes on this list, but it gives you a lot of bang for your buck. For less than $25, you’ll get innovative, professional-quality haircare, skincare, and makeup products. If you’re looking for a premium beauty box, start here.

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BeautyFIX

Review: “BeautyFIX is a monthly subscription box that features over $100 worth of beauty products, hand-selected by an elite team of beauty pros.”

Get it on Dermstore here.

3. Benevolent Beauty Box

The Benevolent Beauty Box serves up a selection of cruelty-free items. Everything’s full-size, and for only $15.95 per month, you get an excellent array of guilt-free skincare and haircare items.

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Review: “The June box was a real surprise. I felt a little hesitant when I first opened it, but the makeup selection works so well together. I’m not good at picking stuff out for myself. It was fun to try everything on and see it all come together. Really a well curated box. I love that there’s always skincare items too.”

Find it on Cratejoy here.

4. How To Be A Redhead

This beauty box has a pretty specific target market, but that’s what we love about it: Every item complements red hair. That means that you won’t receive anything that could dull or detract from your naturally lustrous locks.

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Review: “Every month when I received my box in the mail, I was thrilled to open it to see what surprises were inside. Of course I did not or could not use all the products, but the box allowed me to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. As we all know finding red head products [is] so hard….this made it easier. Thank you! “

Get it on Cratejoy here.

5. Play!

This low-price subscription gives you samples of makeup, skincare, or fragrance products. Respond with what you liked and what you didn’t in your Play! profile, and you’ll receive selections tailored specifically to you. Play! is a great way to find your new favorite products without spending a fortune.

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Review: “It’s only $10 a month and you receive 6 decent sized samples. I like trying new products so I’m always really excited about the box. Considering I’d usually be spending $30+ to try out these products without the box, I think it’s definitely worth the money. All of these samples last a while too. I’m still using all of the products from the May box and my June one is arriving today.”

Get it from Sephora here.

6. Orglamix Beauty

The Orglamix box is a bit pricey, but for good reason. Everything in the box is handmade, vegan, and cruelty-free. Use your luxury makeup products with a clear conscience. What’s even better? For every box sold, Orglamix provides a meal to a child in need.

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Review: “Using cruelty-free beauty products is the best remedy to look beautiful and young. It is also good to know what to use and when to use them. These beauty products are easy to use and also friendly to apply.”

Get it from Cratejoy here.

7. Bulu Box

Bulu Boxes help you look beautiful from the inside out. Great-tasting treats and healthy supplements will make your skin glow and boost your energy. Earn points for completing surveys after trying samples. When you find a product you love, redeem points for money off of corresponding full-size products.

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Review:”Bulu boxes are full of items related to health, fitness, and diet. A typical box might contain vitamins, supplements, energy drinks, healthy snacks, sports creams, and personal care items. The subscription is only $10/month and well worth it!”

Subscribe to Bulu Box here.

8. Beauty and Bling

Beauty and Bling provides an assortment of prestige brand makeup along with a bracelet or two. It’s not cheap, but it’s a great way to sample high-end products without committing to full-size versions.

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Review: “I love the boxes! The subscription boxes come with a nice amount of items and it’s very inexpensive. I really love the bracelets, they’re so unique and cute. I would advise everyone to subscribe!!!!!”

Get it from Cratejoy here.

9. Sabbatical Beauty

Sabbatical boxes deliver between two and four of their famous artisanal beauty products every month. These handcrafted, small-batch samples contain high levels of active ingredients that make your skin glow.

HealthyWay

Review: “As a longtime user of Sabbatical Beauty products, I can vouch for the potent effects of these incredible skincare products. But getting them in a subscription box from CrateJoy has really amped up the happiness I experience in trying new and different products every month.”

Subscribe through Cratejoy here.

10. Birchbox

Birchbox may be old news to some, but they continue to surprise us with a great selection of products. They’re also one of the few subscription services that lets you choose one of your monthly products.

HealthyWay

Review: “I’m also relatively new to Birchbox and am really enjoying the service! It’s a great way to discover products that you might not otherwise ever know about. I love looking forward to and receiving my new box each month. I find the price to be reasonable for what you receive and like that there are opportunities to rack up points for product discounts. I think this service is very much worth it, especially for Beauty Junkies, which is what I am!”

Subscribe to Birchbox here.

Categories
Lifestyle

20 Cheap Hair Products You'll Wish You Knew About Sooner

Best Shampoos and Conditioners Under $10

L’Oreal Paris 8.5 oz EverCreme Sulfate Free Deep Nourish

Want clean and silky soft hair without all the junk found in normal shampoos and conditioners? This line from L’Oreal cleanses hair gently while helping revive moisture and shine without weighing it down.

L’Oreal Paris EverCreme Sulfate Free Deep Nourish Shampoo

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Target

L’Oreal Paris EverCreme Sulfate Free Deep Nourish Conditioner

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Target

Review: “Both the shampoo and conditioner are amazing. Love that it leaves my hair feeling clean and soft after every use.”

Aveeno Nourish and Volumize

Breathe life back into your dry and damaged locks with this lightweight yet volumizing duo from Aveeno.

Aveeno Nourish and Volumize Shampoo

Aveeno Nourish and Volumize Conditioner

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Bed Bath & Beyond

Review: “I have used numerous shampoo and conditioner products and Aveeno by far has been the best for volume addition. My hair has never looked better. I highly recommend this product for people with hair that needs a boost.”

Hair Masks and Conditioning Treatments Under $10

Hair masks are the key to getting shiny, supple hair when regular conditioning just isn’t enough.

Garnier Whole Blends Honey Treasures Repairing Mask

This wholesome treatment with honey and royal jelly will renew your hair, making it soft and strong in one quick application.

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Bed Bath & Beyond

Review: “I love this mask! I’ve been using it for a little over two weeks and my hair is still as healthy as it is when I visit the hairdressers. It smells amazing and makes my hair very soft while protecting the ends, which have always been a trouble spot for me.“

Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Recovery Hair Mask

With this intensive hair treatment, even the most damaged locks can become silky and shiny once more.

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Bed Bath & Beyond

Review: “This deep conditioner is rich and thick, a little goes a long way, and it leaves my hair feeling extremely soft, flexible, with healthy looking ends.”

L’Oreal Paris EverPure Repair Remedy Mask

Is your color-treated hair dry and dull? This restorative mask is designed to restore tresses while keeping color bright.

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Bed Bath & Beyond

Review: “This deep conditioning mask is one of my new staple products. My color treated curls were craving moisture but after one use they are vibrant and full of life.”

Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Moist Deep Cond
itioner

In just three short minutes, you can transform your hair from straw to silk with this incredibly moisturizing formula.

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Target

Review: “Miracle is right. My hair feels softer! And coming from someone who does quite a bit of flat-iron abuse to my hair this gives it a nice reprieve. Love it!”

“Magic” Serums and Oils Under $10

Instantly transform your unruly head of frizzy hair into a slick, manageable mane with these shine-boosting serums.

John Frieda Frizz Ease Extra Strength 6 Effects Serum

In just one application, take your dry frizz up a notch—or six—with this multitasking formula that can last through even the rainiest of days.

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Amazon

Review: “I have tried so many different products for my hair to help maintain the frizz from humidity, overuse of heat and coloring products. This is by far the best I have ever found. I’m so happy with it. Not only is my hair so soft and shiny, it’s not frizzy and maintains the style all day.”

L’Oreal Paris Advanced Haircare Extraordinary Oil Lustrous Oil Serum

Don’t let the word “oil” scare you—this lightweight serum will give your hair the bounce and softness it lacks without weighing it down.

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Target

Review: “This product brings life back to my dull, lifeless, and limp looking hair. My hair has been over-processed from bleaching, and this is the only thing that takes away the dingy lifelessness. It leaves my hair healthy feeling, untangled, shiny, and radiant!”

OGX Hydrate and Repair Argan Oil of Morocco Miracle In-Shower Oil

Take your deep conditioning routine to the next level with this rinse-away treatment that hydrates hair and repairs split ends.

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Amazon

Review: “This oil is so light and it smells great. It leaves my hair with a beautiful shine and my hair doesn’t feel greasy or weighed down.”

Prep and Protect Sprays Under $10

Hair care doesn’t end when you step out of the shower, and these protecting sprays can help your hair hold out when the heat is on.

L’Oreal Paris Advanced Hairstyle Blow Dry It Quick Dry Primer Spray

Make wet hair easier to handle with this water-wicking spray that’ll reduce dry time while helping hair resist damage from heated tools.

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Target

Review: “I always hate how long it takes to dry my hair. This product really cuts the time and makes my hair look nice after it’s dry.”

TRESemme Thermal Creations Heat Tamer Leave In Spray

If you use heated styling tools often, this formula will not only help leave your hair soft and healthy, but boost shine as well.

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Target

Review: “My hair was very dry since I straighten it a lot, [I] needed a product that would protect my hair from damage. This product totally works for me, after straightening it makes my hair feel softer and look healthier.”

Curl-Enhancing Products Under $10

Give your curls their bounce back with these lightweight formulas meant to soften and strengthen.

SheaMoisture 8 oz Coconut and Hibiscus Curl Milk

Even the thickest curls will get the boost they need with this natural formula tha
t’ll leave hair enriched and tangle-free.

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Amazon

Review: “Really nice smell and makes your hair curly, very soft and shiny.”

OGX Quenching + Coconut Curls Frizz Defying Styling Milk

This blend of coconut oil, citrus oils, and honey will make you feel like you’re on the beach, even though you’ll look like you just walked out of the salon.

HealthyWay
Target

Review: “This is the best styling product for my curls that I have used. It beats every other cream, gel, mousse and spray that I have tried. My curly hair stays soft and manageable, has great curls, and no frizz!”

Umberto Curl Enhancing Lotion

Help your curls keep their shape all day long with this defining formula that adds shine and relaxes frizz.

HealthyWay
Target

Review: “I love this lotion. It is very easy to use, simple instructions, and did not weigh my hair down like some do. It kept my hair very light with the same feel my hair has without the lotion. It held my curl all day.”

Dry Shampoos and Hairsprays Under $10

Say goodbye to grease and get ready to love your hair from one wash to the next, even when you’re on day two or three.

Batiste Original Clean Dry Shampoo

With a few simple sprays, you can refresh the look of your unwashed hair—and give it a clean scent, to boot.

HealthyWay
Amazon

Review: “Love this dry shampoo and the price! I use this stuff extremely regularly, and it’s perfect for refreshing your hair and making it look great! I use it after a workout, to freshen up second day style and give it a little more volume and bounce, and in a pinch on dirty hair. Works wonders every time.”

Umberto Dry Clean Dry Shampoo

Save your color-treated hair—or just save some time in the shower—with this volume-boosting dry shampoo.

HealthyWay
Target

Review: “This dry shampoo removes any oil from your hair without leaving it sticky or weighed down like another dry shampoo I tried. You can keep your blow-out or ironed hair style for a extra day or two without re-styling and causing unnecessary damage to your hair.”

Garnier Fructis Style Flexible Control Hairspray

Bid a not-so-fond farewell to hairspray that’s hard as a rock, and pick up this flexible spray that’ll hold your style but still look natural.

HealthyWay
Target

Review: “Flexible control by Garnier Fructis is the best hair spray by far. It will make your hair smell great, look shiny, and feel natural. No more stiff hair, your hair will hold whatever shape you desire, but still have that natural bounce.”

TRESemme TRES Two Extra Hold Hairspray

Designed to stay strong when you need it to, this hairspray keeps frizz under control without being sticky or hard.

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Target

Review: “I have been using TRESemme’s Extra Hold Hairspray for years. It gives me the hold that I love but yet leaves my hair soft to the touch. No sticky or hard feeling.”

Categories
Nosh

8 Fast Food Items That Nutrition Experts Say You Should Never Order

America loves fast food, and that’s not something most of us are proud of.
According to a 2013 report from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), Americans consumed about 11.3 percent of their total calories from fast food from 2007 to 2010. That’s a lot of hamburgers, fries, and milkshakes.
There’s some evidence that we’re gradually changing our habits. The fast-food industry showed no traffic growth in 2016, and in the same year, soda consumption fell to a 30-year low.
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Still, while we’d love to swear off fast food once and for all, it’s often the easiest option, and during a busy work week, convenience means something.
Instead of making promises we can’t keep, we reached out to several nutritionists, dietitians, and fitness coaches to find out which fast food items deserve a hard pass when we do end up in the drive-thru. Again.
Here’s what we found.

1. Beware of the salads.

If you’re trying to eat a healthy diet, you might decide to avoid burgers and chicken sandwiches in favor of a delicious salad. After all, what’s healthier than vegetables?
Quite a few things, it turns out.
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“When ordering salads, always get the dressing on the side and add in only a limited amount,” says Laura Arndt, NSCA-CSCS.
Arndt is the CEO of Matriarc, a company that specializes in pregnancy and postpartum health. She has a degree in exercise science and is a certified personal trainer. She notes that restaurants often over-dress their salads for an obvious reason: It tastes good.
Take, for example, McDonald’s Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad. With 350 calories and 9 grams of sugar, it’s far from the worst item on the chain’s menu. Add in a packet of the Newman’s Own Creamy Southwest Dressing, though, and you’re looking at another 120 calories, 3 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of fat.
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The simple solution is to cut down on the amount of dressing you use.
“You do not need the entire packet of dressing to still have the flavor,” Arndt notes. Sure, you’ll feel a bit wasteful as you throw away that half-used packet of dressing, but your waistline will thank you.

2. Flavored coffee drinks are typically packed with sugar.

Sticking with coffee? Watch out for flavored brews. After all, that “flavor” has to come from somewhere.
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“Flavored coffees, smoothies, and beverages tend to be very high in sugar and low in nutrients,” Arndt says. “Order your drinks plain, with skim or low-fat milk, and add your own flavoring.”
Research your choices before you order. Starbucks’ Vanilla Sweet Cream cold-brew coffee, for instance, has about 110 calories per grande serving. The numbers quickly add up if you’ve got a mean caffeine habit, so if possible, start taking your coffee black.

3. Oh, and you really don’t want to get addicted to blended drinks.

“Avoid milkshakes, Frappuccinos, and McFlurries,” says Janis Isaman, nutrition coach and owner of Calgary-based My Body Couture, a private fitness studio.
That’s not an exaggeration. A venti serving of Starbucks’ Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino packs in 570 calories, 470 milligrams of sodium, and 92 grams of sugar.
Isaman goes on to say, “High-calorie foods are … on my list of things to avoid, but highly caloric hamburgers at least include some useful nutrients, whereas I simply don’t see the nutritional value in any of these drinks, which can have upwards of 750 calories.”
You can cut some of those numbers by choosing non-fat milk and skipping the whipped cream, but as Isaman points out, what’s left is still mostly empty calories.

4. You need to sidestep certain side dishes.

This warning really applies to all sides, but fast-food coleslaw is especially nefarious, according to registered dietitian and nutritionist Susan Stalte.
Stalte notes that while coleslaw might seem healthy, it’s often chock-full of unnecessary calories.
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“The item that is generally a must-skip is coleslaw, specifically the one that was sold by Chick-fil-A,” she says, noting that Chick-fil-A has other options that she considers diet friendly. “It’s usually made with a ton of mayonnaise and can be almost as many calories as a meal.”
Chick-fil-A discontinued their coleslaw in 2016, releasing their recipe while announcing the move. Unsurprisingly, the side was packed with sugar. KFC currently offers a coleslaw that weighs in at a hefty 170 calories per serving.
Although Stalte isn’t a fan of counting calories, she does recommend looking at basic nutrition facts before ordering any item, even if it seems nutritious on the whole. If the item has a massive caloric load, you’ll probably want to avoid it, regardless of how much cabbage you see on the plate.

5. Don’t treat lunch meats as a safer alternative to burgers.

Maybe you’ll skip the burgers and pick up a nice sub sandwich. That’s a fairly healthy choice, right?
Probably not. Lunch meats aren’t necessarily healthier, as they’re highly processed.
The American Institute for Cancer Research warns that processed meats can increase the risk of certain cancers. Most of those meats also have high levels of sodium, which can cause high blood pressure.
“Unless you are getting the chicken breast, you are eating highly processed meat that is full of nitrites and tons of sodium,” says Hope Pedraza, a certified personal trainer (ACSM), nutrition coach (NAFC), and the founder and creator of inBalance, a fitness and wellness studio located in San Antonio, Texas.
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A 6-inch cold-cut combo from Subway contains 1090 milligrams of sodium, according to the company’s website. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends consuming fewer than 2,400 milligrams of sodium per day, so lunchmeat certainly seems problematic.
“Nobody wants high blood pressure from eating a sandwich,” Pedraza says.

6. Let nature be your guide, but don’t always trust your eyes.

Sofia de Campos Pereira, PhD, is a health coach at Best Health Best Life. She’s got a simple rule for eating out: Order foods that look like what you’d find in nature.
“That is, [look for] whatever foods are least processed before they were cooked and served,” de Campos Pereira says.
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That might mean skipping out on the chicken nuggets—or at least the fried nuggets. Grilled nuggets are less likely to use huge amounts of nitrites and sodium, and the lack of breading cuts the calorie count quite a bit.
Chick-fil-A’s fried nuggets, for instance, have roughly 260 calories and 980 milligrams of sodium per 8-nugget serving. The company’s grilled nuggets contain 140 calories and 440 milligrams of sodium.
But while de Campos Pereira says that the eye test is useful for evaluating food, it’s not perfect.
“It’s important to be aware that sometimes what we think we are eating is not at all what we are eating,” she explains, “like for example, [some] cheeses, which are almost 50 percent potato starch.”

7. Condiments can be pretty dangerous, too.

“Order sandwiches plain to avoid high-calorie condiments,” Arndt says. “This also goes for chicken nuggets.”
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Condiments might seem like a harmless addition, but just a dollop can significantly increase the amount of sugar and salt in your meal. A packet of McDonald’s ketchup adds 10 calories, 90 milligrams of sodium, and 2 grams of sugar, and you know you never use just a single packet.
Other condiments can be much worse. Jack in the Box’s buttermilk dipping sauce has 130 calories per serving, while Chick-fil-A’s house dipping sauce has 140 calories and 13 grams of fat.
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Some restaurants offer lemon slices, and a quick spritz of lemon can enhance the flavors of your meal without adding calories. If that’s not an option, look for simple, low-sugar condiments and limit the amount you use.

8. The breakfast platter isn’t the ideal start to your day.

If you’re getting fast food, you might as well get it for breakfast, since the basic components of the dish—eggs, breakfast meats, and potatoes—are pretty similar to what you’d find at home, right?
“Most major fast food chains offer some sort of breakfast plate that includes eggs, sausage, biscuits, and maybe some gravy or hash browns,” says Pedraza. “That doesn’t sound too bad [when you’re] reading it, but if we take a closer look, everything on the plate has been cooked with a ton of butter.”
The McDonald’s Big Breakfast, for example, lives up to its name, packing in a whopping 750 calories with 49 grams of fat—75 percent of the FDA’s recommended daily value for an average person. And it weighs in with 1490 milligrams of sodium.
“That type of plate, no matter where you get it, has more fat than you should have in your entire day,” Pedraza says, “It’s not good. And the amount of sodium in sausage at these places is unreal.”
“Unreal” isn’t much of an exaggeration, as a single McDonald’s sausage biscuit has 1050 milligrams of sodium (about 44 percent of the recommended daily value).
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The big takeaway, according to our experts, is to avoid relying on your intuition. Whether you’re considering a breakfast sandwich, a salad, a wrap, or just about anything else, don’t rely on your gut (pun intended).
Quickly analyze foods with your smartphone, or better yet, plan your meals before you leave the house. An occasional fast-food meal won’t doom you to a lifetime of poor health, but by doing a bit of quick research, you can make a more informed choice.

Categories
Motherhood

10 Products Every Toddler Mom Should Have

For mothers of toddlers, it often feels like you have to be willing to accept any bit of help you can get. Whether it’s potty training, trying to cook dinner with kids in tow, or keeping the family entertained on a road trip, there are plenty of obstacles that can make the experience rough.

Not anymore, though! With these gadgets, life with your young ones is about to get a whole lot safer and simpler.

1. EZPZ Happy Mat

Consider plates on the floor a thing of the past with this budge-proof silicone mat that’s easy for mom to clean and fun for kids to use.

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Amazon

Review: “Best placemat EVER!!!! My son tries, and tries to pull it up with no success! Highly recommend for any parent. Especially if your child LOVES to lift up and toss his/her placemat. You won’t regret this purchase! I promise!” –RCB

Blue, coral, or lime? Pick your mat here.

2. Little Partners Learning Tower

Make things easier for your kitchen helpers with this ultimate step stool. It’s sturdy, easily accessible, grows with your kids, and gives them protection from all sides, leaving you with one less thing to worry about during dinner prep.

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Amazon

Review: “My toddler uses this tower 5x a day. It is a must have for the inquisitive toddler in the kitchen. She can see everything in a safe area instead of trying to pull things down on herself or trying to climb up on the counters.” –Eric R

Get your sous chef their very own lookout here.

3. Boon Snug Spout

For a toddler-proof vessel made on the fly, try these stretchy toppers that fit snuggly over the opening of any standard cup. Pack comes with 3 lids and 1 cup.

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Amazon

Review: Love these [cup] toppers! Great for traveling with toddlers. Stretch to secure around most/many cups both at home and in restaurants. Mason jars work well too. Overall great product! –Santa Barbara R-W

Click here to buy the 3-pack.

4. Travel Activity Tray Table

Whether you’re going for a short drive or a longer trip, this tray table is perfect as an in-car coloring table, snack tray, or even just a stand for the DVD player.

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Amazon

Review: “This is exactly what I wanted for our long road trip. It fits perfectly in the car seat and is nice and soft on edges. The plastic insert fits in nice and snug and creates a really nice surface for coloring and activities. Only bought one for boys to share but wish I had bought 2!” –jaddy

Get road trip ready here.

5. 2-in-1 Potette Plus

The Potette makes potty training easy wherever you are. Use it at home over your regular toilet, or pack the Potette and its custom travel liners for a mess-free potty on the go.

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Amazon

Review: “This portable potty is always in our car. It is easy to setup, easy to clean and is ready whenever my daughter needs it. I like the size (can fit in any diaper bag).” –Amazon Customer

Get ready to toilet train here.

6. Magic Toilet Nightlight

Kids will never have to be scared of a midnight bathroom break again thanks to this motion-activated toilet nightlight.

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Amazon

Review: “Perfect for kids. I got this light for my daughter’s bathroom because she was scared to go there alone at night. She loved the changing colors of her toilet and now she goes there at night by herself just to see how it glows.” –Janett

Light up the night here.

7. Aqueduck Faucet Extender

No more lifting your child up so they can wash their hands in the sink. With this device, the water flows toward them, helping them become more independent and conscious of bathroom cleanliness sooner.

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Amazon

Review: “This is a simple little device that makes hand-washing much easier for my toddler. I don’t have to hoist him up on my knee and lean him into the sink. He can easily reach the flowing water from his step stool. It’s an inexpensive convenience. Whoever thought of this is a genius.” –The Southern Review

Get ready to wash up here.

8. Moby Bath Spout Cover

Protect your babe from bumps and bruises during bath time with this rubber cover designed to enclose the hard, sharp edges of your tub’s faucet.

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Amazon

Review: “It looks very cute and it does a great job protecting my toddler’s head from bumping into the faucet. She is a very active and this spout cover has saved us from a lot of bumps and tears.” –Olipho

Ouch-proof bath time here.

9. Dapper Snapper Belt

This flexible belt uses the loops on your child’s pants to hold them up without making them too tight to get off quickly during bathroom breaks.

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Amazon

Review: “I love these!! If you have a tall thin child, it can be very challenging to find pants that fit. These are awesome because they go on the back of the pants and do not make it harder or interfere with potty training. I recommend these to everyone, they are great!” –LittleRochi

Snap those pants up here.

10. Kaboost Portable Chair Booster

Make your little ones feel like they’re truly part of the family dinner with this device that turns virtually any chair into a booster seat.

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Amazon

Review: “This product is amazing. Perfect for kids who want to sit up high at the table. It has two height settings to accommodate different table/chair heights and it’s designed to fit several chair styles. It’s very easy to pop on and off of your chair and it has stayed secured to our chair for years now, despite much toddler abuse.” –Chelsea Mac

Boost up and so they can chow down here.

Categories
Motherhood

10 Must-Have Products Every New Mom Needs

All you need to raise your child is dedication, love, and about $3,000 worth of stuff.
We’re kidding; you’re going to spend much more than that in all likelihood. The good news is that some products really do make motherhood much easier. Here are a few essentials that every new mom should be sure to pick up.
1. Skip Hop Owl Soother and Sound Machine
As a new parent, you’ll quickly learn a few ways to soothe your baby to sleep. And while you’re learning, the Skip Hop Owl Soother will fill in for you. Equipped with lights, music, and calming nature sounds, it keeps baby interested until she’s ready to fall asleep. A built-in sleep timer turns the sound off after 15 to 60 minutes.

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Target

Get it from Target.
While you’re there, be sure to check out Target’s baby registry program.
2. NoseFrida Nasal Aspirator
There’s nothing worse than seeing your baby in discomfort—especially when you’re trying to get some sleep. Every parent needs a decent nasal aspirator, and NoseFrida is effective, hygienic, and affordable.
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Amazon

Get it from Amazon.
Amazon is also a great place to get your registry started, check it out here.
3. Fisher-Price Auto Rock-n-Play Sleeper
Rocking your baby is cute and all, but it’s also kind of a pain. Why not automate the process? This Fisher-Price rocker helps newborns get some shuteye, and it’s surprisingly affordable.
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Get it from Amazon.
4. Sophie the Giraffe
Okay, yes, it’s just a toy giraffe. Here us out: Sophie is pretty much the ultimate baby toy. This BPA-free, phthalate-free giraffe is designed to be safe to chew—even the paint is food grade—and each unit is individually hand painted. It’ll quickly become baby’s favorite toy, and for under $25, it’s essentially unbeatable.
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Amazon

Get it from Amazon.
5. Fisher-Price Sling-n-Seat Tub
This “bath center” actually lives up to its name since it adjusts as your baby grows. You’ll still be using it in your child’s toddler years, which is something we can’t say about many other infant products.
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Target

Find it at Target.
6. Graco Pack ‘n Play
Sure, it’s just a bassinet, but it folds up for easy transport and storage. It’s essential gear if you’re traveling, and an included toy bar keeps your baby entertained on either side of nap time.
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Amazon

Get it from Amazon.

7. Luvable Friends Scratch Mittens
These adorable scratch mittens fit snugly over your baby’s hands, but they aren’t so tight as to be to be uncomfortable. Plus, look at the cute fox. Seriously, look at it.

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Amazon

Get them on Amazon.
8. Hip Club Diaper Bag with Matching Changing Pad
Yes, you’re a new mom, but that doesn’t mean that you’re no longer stylish. This designer tote keeps all of your diaper-changing supplies at the ready, and it actually looks good thanks to a clever design and high-quality, waterproof materials.
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Amazon

Get it on Amazon.
9. LILLEbaby All-Seasons Baby Carrier
This snug baby carrier keeps your infant comfortable while providing plenty of lumbar support. It’s surprisingly breathable, and you can adjust it as your baby grows.
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Amazon

Get it from Amazon.
10. Boppy Newborn Lounger
This little lounger is designed for babies up to 16 pounds. It’s a great little nest for your newborn, and it keeps baby at a comfortable angle while Mom enjoys a quick hands-free moment.
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Amazon

Get it from Amazon.

Categories
Motherhood

These Kids Are Genetic Siblings, But They Were Born To Different Mothers

Few people question the miracle that is in vitro fertilization (IVF). From its inception, IVF has been considered a godsend to couples who are hoping to achieve a successful pregnancy.
Before delving into the dynamic stories of genetic siblings born to different mothers, let’s identify exactly what IVF is.

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According to Dr. Mark Trolice, who is a board-certified reproductive endocrinology and infertility specialist of 20 years and an associate professor at the University of Florida College of Medicine, “IVF is an assisted reproductive technology procedure whereby fertilization of the egg and sperm occur in the laboratory. The woman receives stimulation with one of the injectable fertility medications.
“When the ovaries contain multiple mature eggs, she then undergoes a short minor procedure under intravenous sedation to retrieve the eggs by placing a needle … into the ovary under ultrasound guidance. Approximately four to six hours later, sperm are added to each of the eggs and then checked for fertilization the next day. The embryo(s) is/are transferred to the uterus three to five days after the ‘retrieval’ procedure. A pregnancy test is taken approximately two weeks following the egg retrieval.”

Recent developments have led to exciting possibilities.

In layman’s terms, IVF consists of egg retrieval from the woman, sperm donation from the man, embryo conception in the lab, and then a transfer timed perfectly to the woman’s cycle. But as with many modern medical advancements, IVF has taken some unexpected paths.

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One such path is embryo donation/adoption. Simply put, when a couple goes through the IVF process, sometimes there are extra embryos that are not transferred. These embryos are frozen and stored as property of the couple who initially pursued their creation.
At some point, the couple must decide if they will use their remaining embryos to potentially become pregnant again, continue paying to store them, have the unneeded embryos destroyed, or pursue embryo donation/adoption.
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Embryo donation/adoption is the transfer of embryos from one family to another. It is a legal process, but in the realm of legalities, it’s quite simple because embryos are identified as property.
Trolice states that “the process of embryo donation/adoption is well established. I do not see any ethical quandary as long as all parties enter into this agreement with full informed consent. Medical and legal consents must be created by a reproductive attorney for protection of all undergoing embryo adoption.”
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Once embryos are transferred to a new couple, they can then begin steps to become pregnant through IVF with non-biological children—in effect, the genetic siblings of the child born from the original IVF cycle. This could be considered the earliest scenario of adoption: adoption after conception versus after birth.

“Extended family” takes on a new meaning.

This is also how genetic siblings can be born to different mothers.

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Take these three Canadian families, for example. It’s a complex, interesting story of a new kind of family. To simply recap, Family A achieved a successful pregnancy through IVF (that originated from egg and sperm donation). There were leftover embryos from the procedure.
Rather than store those embryos indefinitely or have them destroyed, Family A connected with Beginnings, the largest private adoption agency in Ontario, and chose two adoptive families for their remaining embryos since they felt their family was complete.
Those two families, Family B and Family C, became pregnant with children who are related to Family A’s child. Now, the children of Families A, B, and C are all related. They are genetic siblings born to three different mothers.
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Another scenario where genetic siblings are born to two different women is detailed in the Bernaba family’s story. After years of struggling to become pregnant with their second child, George and Amy Bernaba chose a surrogate to carry a child for them. In the course of evaluating their situation it was decided that eggs fertilized by Mr. Bernaba would be implanted into both Amy and their surrogate, Torry Keay.

The gift of life presents in many forms. When an infertility patient turns to non-biologic options of family building, they dedicate themselves to the purest form of our existence, which is loving for the sake of love, without genetic strings.

Miraculously, both women became pregnant and via cesarean and induction gave birth to twins on May 27, 2007—“the world’s first twins to be born on the same day to two different women,” according to Daily Mail.
These two stories are just the beginning of a new kind of birth, a new kind of adoption, a new kind of family.

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Trolice agrees: “The gift of life presents in many forms. When an infertility patient turns to non-biologic options of family building, they dedicate themselves to the purest form of our existence, which is loving for the sake of love, without genetic strings.”
No field expert is ready to say that genetic siblings being born to different mothers could be described as “popular,” but it is definitely a new avenue couples are exploring.
Perhaps “growing trend” is the best identifier for this form of family building. And as this trend continues to grow, it only seems natural that more and more children will begin to explore their family of origin, seeking the story of how they began.
So, what are the benefits and risks of telling a child born through embryo adoption that they have genetic links in families elsewhere?

Thread of Heritage

The benefits are quite clear, according to Trolice, who cites the work of clinical psychologist Diane Ehrensaft. In her 2005 book Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates: Answering Tough Questions and Building Strong Families, she noted that “the social tides have changed. As they have changed, experts have done a 180-degree turn in their thinking about disclosure. Twenty years ago people thought disclosure would be traumatic for the child, humiliating to the parent, and disruptive of the parent­ child bond. Now it is believed to be a violation of the child’s rights, a denial of reality, and a threat to the integrity of the parent not to tell a child the truth about his or her birth history.”
Grief and loss counselor Lloyde Newman echoes Ehrensaft’s thoughts with an eloquent spin developed around a concept she calls the “thread of heritage.” Newman shares, “The Thread of Heritage becomes valuable and important even before the babies are born. Sometimes the mothers-to-be get together for support and to start building this unique family tree of memories, sense of community, and begin making family traditions that are essential to the development of children who are successful and confident.”

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Thanks to a commitment to the Thread of Heritage, Newman says, “These special siblings grow up with the richness of family stories that are passed down from folks who thought they would never have the joy of telling long-ago Christmases memories, first days of school, and summer camping trips. The Thread of Heritage seems like a win–win solution for all. Some IVF donors have gone so far as to save other embryos for the future so women and men can experience the joy of parenthood and their cultural nuances and knowledge of life move forward to bless others.”

Establishing Connections

When given due thought, eventual full disclosure is becoming more common. Trolice states that “This is why Donor Sibling Registry was founded: to assist people in connecting with biologic siblings.” So whether parents opt to share their conception story with their child from the get-go or further down the road, most children are choosing to learn more about their genetic background.

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But experts are merely outside observers of what is really going on inside these brand-new kinds of families. They can hypothesize and analyze what might be best, but isn’t it usually the case that every family, every child, is different?
For Ashleigh Stebner and Lauren Reykdal, full disclosure is proving to be a beautiful experience. These two women from the Pacific Northwest share a special bond. The children Stebner birthed in 2013 and 2016 and the daughter Reykdal is due to deliver in late 2017 will be genetic siblings.
After much infertility heartache, Reykdal began exploring snowflake adoption. Snowflake adoption is the same as embryo donation/adoption, just a catchier phrase since those little embryos are frozen, waiting to see where they will fall.
“It is unique, it is a modern family,” says Reykdal, “With almost a million frozen embryos in the United States, it is my prayer that many others will come to find the joy and beauty of adopting ‘little snowflakes.’” In essence, snowflake adoption is an opportunity for a stored embryo to have a chance at life.

Embryo adoption felt so right, and from the moment our donors contacted us, we’ve felt nothing but peace and hope. We finally let our bodies rest, knowing that our baby was already formed, always meant for us.

Reykdal remembers her feelings when she first considered embryo adoption. “My husband and I felt like we had been climbing a mountain—gaining footing, moving upward, and then slipping right back down with every fertility fail and negative cycle. We were so ready to become parents, and our 4-year-old would ask regularly when she would get to be a big sister.
“We knew that genetics did not matter to us, and with our hearts as tender as they were after the rollercoaster of fertility fails, we were terrified of a traditional adoption scenario leaving us with empty arms. Embryo adoption felt so right, and from the moment our donors contacted us, we’ve felt nothing but peace and hope. We finally let our bodies rest, knowing that our baby was already formed, always meant for us.”

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And yes, you read that correctly, while Reykdal rode the roller coaster of infertility and the alternative options in growing her family, Stebner was on a journey of her own, beginning to reach out to potential families who might adopt embryos that remained from her successful IVF cycle.
“I have always known that I would eventually donate my embryos. For me it was just a matter of when I was emotionally ready to make that step. I somewhat expected it to be harder to sign the contract and give up my biological ‘children,’ but it hasn’t been. I know that they are going to all go to families that have dreamed of them, they will be so loved and cherished. I also know that I could never have them all myself, that was never the plan. I truly believe God blessed me with an abundance of embryos so that I could bless other families,” Stebner shared.
Stebner and Reykdal connected through a private social media group. Stebner recalls, “The first thing that caught my eye was her profile picture, three Mickey Mouse ear hats at Disneyland—one of our family’s favorite places. I worked up the courage to send a message. I got a response the next day and it brought me to tears… As we got to know each other, I realized I would want to have a relationship beyond anything I had ever imagined. We met in person in October 2016 and I knew that we had the perfect recipients.”
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“I never could have imagined my relationship with my donor being the way that it is,” says Reykdal. “When I met Ashleigh, we connected. I remember thinking to myself—I wish I could keep her for a friend! Not only was she just an all-around great person, she had given me the gift of my daughter’s life. There were so many parallels in our journey where I truly feel like God was preparing us both. Doors closing, other prayers going (what felt like) unanswered. There have been times where I have felt selfish. I feel like I am getting the best of both worlds—a baby and this wonderful friendship.”
And Stebner echoes Reykdal’s sentiment, saying, “I feel like through this process God has given me a sister that I never had. I am overjoyed by the relationship our kids already have and I dream about how our families will grow together.”
And grow together they will! First, with a new baby later this year, and then, Stebner believes, many more. “We have already had talks about bringing other families into our dynamic. I always wanted this kind of big family, I just never realized this was how God would make it happen!”
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IVF has become an everyday phrase around the birth and parenting community, but soon, it seems, these stories of genetic siblings born to different mothers will become more and more common. It’s a new kind of a family, but a beautiful one—full of hope, commitment, and immense love. The future of “family” is truly amazing.

Categories
Motherhood

Compliments You Seriously Need To Stop Giving Your Kids

“I just don’t want to screw my kids up.”
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. One of my biggest anxieties as a mom is my ability to launch my children into adulthood with minimal damage done.
And to think there was a time when I believed that the hardest things I would do as a mom were the sleepless nights with a teething babe. Boy, was I wrong.
Now that my three kids are mostly past the sleepless-nights phase of their lives, I can see more clearly how challenging the years ahead will be. The solutions to fevers and molars were downright simple when compared with raising emotionally healthy kids.
As a result, I tend to worry about most things I say to my kids. I wonder if I am saying enough or if I’m saying too much. I feel anxious that even the good things I say might be doing more harm than good, like when I compliment the outfit they picked out or congratulate them on a job well done.
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It all seems so complicated. There are whole lists of rules about complimenting kids, and they’re based on pretty sound research.
“Make sure you’re sincere.” “Don’t praise your kid for doing a good job at something they like.” “Don’t praise kids for things that they can’t control.”

When you praise effort, children will choose more challenging paths and tend to stick with it longer.

In my day-to-day life as a working mom of three, this all seems overwhelming and hard to put into practice. Hoping to really grasp and digest the do’s and don’ts of praising children, I spoke with a few psychologists who specialize in child development to glean their insights on the subject.

The Bigger Picture

For starters, parents need to begin by addressing their own anxieties and concerns about their children’s self-esteem. Kids are smart, and even if they’re not aware of it, they pick up on the subconscious messages their parents are sending them, according to Dr. Brad Reedy, psychiatrist and author of The Journey of The Heroic Parent.
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“It’s not what you say to your children that makes the difference, it’s how you think about them, how you hold them in your mind. Sometimes…you can sense an anxiety or a desire for the parent to get the child to think or feel a certain way about themselves…that is actually a more powerful message and the child has this experience unconsciously that ‘I am less than, something’s wrong me, I have a deficit, I’m causing my parent’s anxiety,” he explains.

“Good job!” and “Way to go!” won’t actually get you a long way.

More practically, Reedy suggests that parents adopt a policy of “less is more,” especially when it comes to hyping up kids’ performance in school, sports, or other activities.
For starters, it is best not to focus on the product at all, according to Dr. Sarah Kohl, pediatrician and founder of Travel Ready MD, who instead encourages parents to praise the effort behind the product. For example, kids in sports benefit more from interaction in which a parent takes notice of how hard they’ve been practicing or asks if they enjoyed themselves during a game instead of an interaction in which a parent reveals that they’ve been keeping track of how many goals their child scored.
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The interesting thing about focusing on our kids’ efforts instead of their outcomes is that it actually sets them up for success in the long run, according to Reedy.
“In studies, children who are praised for their intelligence or giftedness tend choose or follow paths that are easier or tend to cheat, whereas, when you praise effort, that’s something that is within the child’s control. So, when you praise effort, children will choose more challenging paths and tend to stick with it longer.”
It is nongeneric praise that holds the most benefit for children, according to research published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, which found that phrases like, “good job drawing” more effectively encouraged persistence in difficulty than generic phrases like, “good job.”
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Additionally, Reedy is quick to warn parents not to use phrases like “I’m proud of you,” as he believes that creates unnecessary pressure for children, often unintentionally communicating that is the child’s responsibility to make their parents feel proud.

How Parents Should Behave When It Comes to Their Kids’ Behavior

Outside of performance, there is also the issue of how we talk to our kids about their behavior. It’s no secret that parents appreciate children who are obedient and listen well, but we should be careful about how we express our appreciation.

Rather than tying their worth as a person to whether they behave well or not, we want to praise or criticize the behavior.

Generic praise, such as saying “Good boy!” is less than helpful for young kids. In fact, according to a study in Psychological Science, this type of praise is correlated with an increased likelihood of giving up when things get hard.
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Additionally, linking praise to a child’s identity instead of the behavior itself can create confusion for the child in the long run, according to child psychologist Dr. Ilana Blatt-Eisengart.
“The problem with this is that you are implicitly telling the child that they are a ‘bad kid’ when they don’t behave and there will definitely be a time when they don’t. Rather than tying their worth as a person to whether they behave well or not, we want to praise or criticize the behavior, as well as helping them see the consequences of that behavior.”
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Reedy suggests parents take it one step further by adopting more objective language when talking to their kids about behavior. Instead of placing a lot of value on the behavior, parents might instead take notice of the behavior with phrases like, “I just noticed you were cooperating with me and I appreciate that.”
“The problem is, when you get into judgmental language, when you get into placing a value on it, you don’t give place for the struggle. If a child is acting out, for example … and you’re just paying attention to the behavior and you’re just making a judgmental statement about whether it’s good or bad, you don’t give any place for the unpacking of what’s going on underneath. Acting out behavior always has its roots in some kind of emotional distress or pain.”

The gender divide—is it real when it comes to complimenting kids?

Although parents might feel that girls and boys need different kinds of praise from their parents, the opposite is actually true. No matter their gender, parents should aim for gender-neutral compliments when talking to their children.

[If] the struggle or difficulty isn’t valued and what is underneath isn’t sought after, then the child doesn’t develop an integrated self.

For girls, even comments that are intended to be uplifting can have a negative effect, according to The Guardian. When we focus on their appearances, complimenting their looks or dress, it can communicate the idea that our daughters’ looks are the first things we notice about them.
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For boys, gender-specific compliments still tend to focus on stereotypical masculine characteristics such as being tough or strong. This is a mistake parents should work diligently to avoid.
“Any time you compliment the masculine in a boy, as if the feminine side is not allowed, that is when we get into trouble. More specifically, what I mean by that is, ‘Man up!’ or ‘Boys don’t cry’ or complimenting a boy for going through something and being tough about it. Versus, of course, you can imagine complimenting a boy when he’s crying, when he’s sensitive, or when he’s vulnerable. Those would be compliments of the whole self, right?”
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He further explained that praising children for being strong while getting through something hard implies that being sensitive or emotional or needing help is a failure on the part of the child. Boys and girls alike should be given permission from their parents and caregivers to embrace both the feminine and masculine aspects of who they are, and the way we compliment them needs to reflect that.

Considering a Different Approach

If all of this seems a little overwhelming—like way too many rules about what you should or shouldn’t say—you’re not alone. I couldn’t help but feel like I was failing after my chat with these experts about talking to my kids, especially when it comes to addressing their accomplishments and failures.
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So I asked about that—about what parents who don’t feel like they’re saying the right things should do. Reedy suggests parents take an approach I wasn’t all that familiar with before: embracing their limitations.
“You own it. You own your limitations. If you have to be omnipotent, if you have to be all powerful and have all capacity, you and your children are doomed. That’s a fact. You’re overwhelmed, you have limited capacity, you have limited energy, so just own it. You’ll apologize consistently,” he explains.
Parents who are worried about saying the right or wrong thing might also find it helpful to adopt something Reedy calls curious parenting. Instead of making judgemental statements about a child, if parents can be truly curious about their children and their behavior, both positive and negative, they’ll give their children and themselves a chance to reflect on what lies underneath.
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“It’s not even about shaping the behavior. All of this energy, all of this focus on reinforcing behavior, it can be the cherry on top at the end…but if that is valued and the struggle or difficulty isn’t valued and what is underneath isn’t sought after, then the child doesn’t develop an integrated self.”

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Wellbeing

10 Amazing Cleaning Products For Busy Moms

Motherhood sometimes seems like one long juggling act. You’ve got to take care of the kids, attend to your own career, and, despite some advances in terms of gender roles, in most families, Mom still does most of the cleaning.

Until we reach the Promised Land of total gender equality in the home, the best moms can do is get the unpleasant chores done fast. That leaves more time for hanging out with the kids—you know, the fun part of motherhood.

Here are a few sneak-attack cleaning products that can help.

1. Clorox Disinfecting Wipes

You know you should disinfect the kitchen counter, but who has the time? Well, anyone with a Clorox Wipe, that’s who.

Simply pull out a towelette, rub down virtually any hard surface, and knock out 99.999 percent of common household germs in just 30 seconds. This gets all the regular baddies, from E. coli to Staph to Salmonella. These things are disposable, which means you don’t have to clean a cloth when you’re done; that’ll save you plenty of time in itself.

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Pick up a variety pack here.

2. Swiffer Sweeper Dry/Wet Mop Starter Kit

There are two types of homemakers: those who have never heard of a Swiffer, and those who swear by one. This all-in-one kit contains everything you need to keep hardwood and tile cleaner than ever. No mop bucket necessary.

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Amazon

Buy it here.

3. Simple Green All-Purpose Cleaner

It feels like just choosing between the cleaning products under the sink takes all afternoon, much less rolling your sleeves up and putting one to use.

But why have a huge cleaning arsenal when a single product can take care of virtually any task? Zap away grease, dirt, and tiny fingerprints without heavy scrubbing. This concentrated solution lets you mix just the right strength for the job. Plus, the giant jug lasts practically forever.

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Get yours here.

4. Kamlif Washable Dust Mop Slippers – 3 Pairs

We’ve been dusting wrong this whole time. In the modern age, dusting is something we can do every moment we’re inside the house! These three sets of microfiber cleaning slippers basically function like dusters, keeping your floor clean effortlessly. A must-have for pet owners.

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Amazon

Pick yours up here.

5. Black and Decker Compact Cyclonic Lithium Hand Vacuum

Clean those hard-to-reach nooks and crannies with this narrow-nosed hand vacuum. We know—the name “Compact Cyclonic Lithium Hand Vacuum” sounds more like a sci-fi weapon than a handy cleaning tool. But it is the latter. Trust us.

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Target

Buy one here.

6. Clorex ToiletWand Disposable Cleaning System

Has anyone else always thought it was a bit gross that we keep our toilet scrubbers sitting in the corner for years at a time? The Clorox ToiletWand can save us from this plight. Just attach a disposable cleaning head, clean, then toss the tip, which is designated for one-time-use.

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Amazon

Get yours here.

7. Up and Up Microfiber Cloths

Quick cleaning requires the right tool for the job. This set of microfiber cloths gives you just that. The green cloth is great for dusting. The yellow one will clean windows and mirrors without streaking. The soft pink cloth is designed for p
olishing the furniture and the blue one is great for cleaning up spills.

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Target

Pick up this all-in-one pack of cloths here.

8. ELECOOL Window Blind Brush

There is no better way to dust the blinds. The ELECOOL Blind Brush has detachable microfiber sleeves to grab the dirt and a strong ABS plastic handle to keep you comfortable while you’re cleaning. Its three-pronged cleaning tip scrapes grime from window blinds and other hard-to-reach places.

HealthyWay
Amazon

Get one here.

9. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser 4-Pack

These aren’t your typical kitchen sponges. These durable scrubbers clean up messes that typical cloths only dream of removing. Use them all over the house. We particularly love them for when a certain tiny artist decides to get creative with a crayon and a wall.

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Amazon

Get a 4-pack here.

10. iRobot Roomba 652 Vacuum Cleaning Robot

Why vacuum when a robot could do it for you? The Roomba 665 is one of the best-known and most-loved robotic vacuums on the market. Press the button and watch it zip around, inhaling debris with a special 3-Stage Cleaning System (yes, it’s a proper noun—patented by iRobot). We, for one, welcome our new robot janitors and thank them for freeing us up to do other things.

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Amazon

Find yours here.