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In Season Lifestyle

Presence Over Presents: How To Find Balance When Giving Gifts To Children

Last year, our family celebrated Christmas in a way that my husband and I vowed to never repeat.
I am Jewish, but my husband’s family celebrates Christmas—to the extreme—and it was the first time we’d all been together since our kid was born three years earlier. Perhaps his aunts, uncles, and cousins were making up for lost time, but by the time the gift-giving was over, you can imagine the scene: paper strewn everywhere, toys hidden under other toys, manic children. Our 3-year-old had six times more stuff than we could fit into our suitcases, most of it plastic or singing some oppressively obnoxious tune on repeat. Most of it was stuff that she would almost instantly forget she’d been gifted.
After we flew home (having given 75 percent of the presents to my mother-in-law to store at her house for weekend visits), I checked in with my sister, who had just celebrated Hanukkah with her kids in the sanest way I’d ever heard. It changed the way I looked at gift-giving forevermore.
There are eight days of Hanukkah, and most families stretch out the presents over those days, but the same principles can be applied to Christmas giving. The idea behind it is that each of the presents given on the eight days is unique and teaches children that the holidays aren’t all about getting but about giving as well.
While you may opt for three, five, or 10 gifts (and can spread them out over the time period of your choice), choose a number and stick to it. Here are some ways to divvy up the love so the kids can take an active part in sharing the holiday joy:

Gift 1

This is the one your kid has been begging for all year—the massive Lego set, the scooter, the bike. Go for it! There’s nothing better than seeing their little faces light up after receiving something they’ve really longed for and you know they will enjoy.

Gift 2

If you have more than one child and the children are old enough, this gift is something they select and give to each other. It’s even better if it’s something they’ve made themselves. This turns the focus immediately from getting to giving. If the kids are little, help them make a painting, “write” a book, or assemble a photo album.
Research actually shows that we get more joy from giving than receiving, so sharing between siblings, cousins, and young friends should start in the early years.

Gift 3

Give to a charity of your child’s choice. Do they care about animals? The environment? Homelessness? Education? This gives you an opportunity to help them think about how they can help the world around them. Engage the kids about what matters to them. You can do this by giving money to a cause or actually volunteering your time during the holidays.

Gift 4

Invest in a gift that the whole family can enjoy together: tickets to Hamilton, a trip to Disneyland, a membership to the zoo, or even a dinner out at the kids’ favorite restaurant where they can eat all the dessert they want. Research shows that people enjoy “experiential” gifts more than tangible things. That enjoyment can contribute to cozy familial feelings and great shared memories when it’s experienced together.

Gift 5

Give your child a card with $5 (or $10, or $20) in it that she can spend however she likes. If she’s young, walk her to her favorite store and let her pick something out. This sense of independence will help her feel empowered and respected.

Gift 6

Pass along something old and meaningful. Does your son love to fix things with Grandma or play the guitar with Grandpa? Passing along a favorite tool or instrument can mean a lot to a child. A friend of mine who is in her thirties still has the special calligraphy set her grandmother gave her to teach her the art form.

Gift 7

Another reminder that the holidays are about helping others: Collect your gently used toys and clothes and donate them to a local charity in need…

Gift 8

…and finally: Buy a new toy for a family in need. This will teach your kids the joy of sharing with those who are less fortunate than them—and help them develop empathy for others. No matter how different a less fortunate child might seem, when you’re child imagines another young person enjoying the toy they selected, it will prove there is a common thread of joy and excitement that can be shared by all children. Also, because the children who receive donated toys may only get one or two gifts, it’s an opportunity to teach your own children that less is actually more—that there is great value in receiving one very coveted toy over 10 crappy ones.

Making a Holiday Game Plan

Being explicit is key here. If the kids are old enough, sit them down a few weeks or months before the holidays to explain the plan. This way they can think hard about what’s of material value to them, what activity they’d want to partake in as a family, and where they’d like to volunteer time and donate money. Getting them involved is the key to success—and a wonderful way to home in on your family values.

Okay, but what about Grandma?

This is a subject my husband and I bicker about: My mother-in-law is a giver. She buys Christmas presents in September, and giving them to our daughter brings her unbridled joy. My husband thinks we should just tell her to stop buying them—or at least to buy fewer. But the idea of taking that joy away from her simply because we don’t like the clutter—or, more vitally, because all that gift-giving doesn’t align with our values—is not something I am interested in doing. So how to deal?
The key is to be kind and clear. We are so grateful for all you’ve given us in the past, or, We know how much you love celebrating Christmas and we love to celebrate with you, but…
Explain that your child already has enough stuff (if you have limited space, feel free to blame it on that) and that it’s important to you to teach him the value of giving, which you find difficult to do when he is bombarded with gifts he can barely keep track of.

Be specific about the gifts your child has enjoyed from her in the past.

“Johnny absolutely loved the dolls you gave him last year and plays with them all the time. I know he’d love a few more of those. I don’t think he enjoyed the plastic dinosaur that much.” No one can read your mind—and no one knows your kid as well as you do—so clarity is key.

Ask for things you need.

Onesies, burp cloths, diapers. New pajamas, socks, a good winter jacket, mittens, new boots, a toddler bed. These are useful gifts you know your kid will get a lot of mileage out of.

Be even more specific.

A friend of mine asks for homemade gifts or gifts that are made from natural materials. This will really limit the options and cut back on the clutter.

Ask for experiences that will inspire your child.

Maybe Grandma wants to pay for dance or art classes, guitar lessons, or a year’s subscription to a favorite magazine. Other suggestions: a membership to an art museum or a year’s worth of baseball tickets.

Ask them to invest in your kid’s future.

Instead of giving your child five gifts, suggest that they choose two that the kid will really like (again, suggest things!) and invest the rest of the money in the child’s college fund or daycare bill.

Sharing is caring.

Tell your family that this year you’re thinking more about people in need and that you’d love for them to give all (or some of) the gift funds to a charity. They can even do it in their grandchild’s name! Suggest a charity or two or let them give to a place that means something to them.

When worst comes to worst…

If you know that your child will get way more gifts than you feel comfortable with, tell your child in advance that he or she will be able to keep a certain number (be clear about what the number is ahead of time), and that the rest will be donated to a child in need. This way she has to really think about what’s of value to her and what might be of value to another child.

Spread the cheer throughout the year.

If you know that there will be way too many gifts from Grandma and Grandpa, tell your parents (or whoever else) you are comfortable with them giving X number of gifts on Christmas or during Hanukkah. The rest they can give to you, and you will promise to distribute them on special occasions over the course of the year.
If the idea of limiting your kids’ gift intake is giving you anxiety (first-world anxiety), remember: Giving too many gifts can actually have adverse consequences. The last thing any of us wants is to turn a joyous occasion into an experience that triggers greedy, ungrateful, or monstrous behavior. Keep in mind what kinds of values you’re trying to instill in your children and hold onto them. Everyone else will come around. And if they don’t? You can always try again next year.

Categories
Life x Culture Lifestyle

10 Secret Santa Gifts Under $30 You’ll Want To Keep For Yourself (But Won’t)

Picture it: the office holiday party, 2014.
It was a tradition to play Secret Santa, the game we all know and love, in which we’d all draw a name at random and secretly give that person a gift at the annual holiday party.
When it was my turn to draw a name, my worst fear came true. (Ok, my worst fear is getting stuck at the top of a roller coaster, but this is a close second.)
I drew my coworker Sally.
Sally (whose name I’ve changed just in case she’s reading this article and learns the truth about my 2014 Secret Santa snafu) was a perfectly nice person. The only problem was that I knew literally nothing about her!
Seriously, not one thing.
She kept no personal mementos on her desk. Even her computer desktop background was a plain blue screen.
The only intel I had on Sally was that she ate a tuna melt every single day, which did not endear her to the office.
So, it was safe to say I was at a total loss when faced with the pressure of buying her a Secret Santa gift.
For weeks I tried to find out more about her, to no avail.
Finally, the day before the holiday party, I spied a coffee-table craft cocktail guide at TJ Maxx and thought, “Good enough.” It seemed like a generic gift almost anyone would enjoy.
Fast forward to the party, where Sally opens up her Secret Santa gift.
I could immediately tell she didn’t like it.
To her credit, she politely put on a brave face and tried to guess who’d gifted her the book.
Later, I found out that Sally didn’t drink at all due to her religious background, and while she wasn’t offended by the gift, it wasn’t exactly something she could use.
Yikes.
Since then, I’ve become an expert Secret Santa gift-giver. I don’t want to let anymore Sallies down with lackluster Secret Santa picks.
If you have no idea what to give your Secret Santa recipient this year, I’ve got you covered.
From your mystery coworker to your dad, here are the best Secret Santa gifts under $30 that are sure to impress this year:

1. Birch Box Subscription

I love subscription boxes. One of my personal favorites is Birch Box—the popular beauty product subscription that can be gifted to just about anyone: your work wife, best girlfriend, or mom will all love getting a personalized box of goodies each month.
Starting at $30 for a three-month subscription, Birch Box now offers men’s subscription boxes, truly making them a gift anyone will enjoy.

2. Nuns Having Fun

“A wall calendar? But that’s so boring!”
Au contraire, my friend.
My roommates and I stumbled across the Nuns Having Fun calendar in college, and it has been my go-to wall calendar for the past decade. It’s a great gift for someone you don’t know very well because, seriously, can you imagine anyone who wouldn’t smile seeing nuns having fun?
At under $15, this is an affordable gift that can easily be paired with another item, like a gourmet chocolate bar, for the perfect office Secret Santa gift.

3. Essential Oil Diffuser

Is your work bestie stressed about a big upcoming project? How about giving her an essential oil diffuser this year?
Diffusers like this one from URPOWER are pretty inexpensive but can be used at home or in the office. Along with the diffuser, gift your Secret Santa a couple of different essential oils. Just make sure you buy oils from a reputable source.

4. Bacon, Bacon, Bacon

Does your Secret Santa love bacon?
Who am I kidding?
Everyone loves bacon.
Assemble a bacon-forward gift basket with the retro-inspired 101 Things To Do With Bacon cookbook, gourmet bacon-flavored salt, and a petite bottle of bacon-flavored hot sauce.
No time to assemble something yourself? While Man Crates are designed for men, they’re really a great gift idea for any whiskey-drinking, meat-eating guy or gal and they aren’t just for Secret Santa either. When Valentine’s Day rolls around, send your boo a delicious heart filled with gourmet jerky.

5. Have Mug, Will Travel

This isn’t your average travel mug. The Thermos insulated travel mug was tested by Good Housekeeping and was crowned one of the best travel mugs of 2017.
Everyone can use a good travel mug (especially if they’re like me and can never find a clean one in sight).
Not only does it keep drinks hot or cold for 18 hours, but it even has diffuser options for bag or loose leaf tea. It’s the perfect Secret Santa gift for a coworker or your dad (whose 30-year-old thermos probably needs an update).

6. Cozy Slippers

Studies show that the more comfortable you are, the more productive and happier you are at work. Alan Hedge, PhD, found that employees who were warm enough were more productive than those who worked in the chilly conditions of most office buildings.
You may not be able to change the thermostat in your office, but you can gift your Secret Santa a cute pair of slippers to slip on under their desk. These rose gold Minnetonka slippers will be sure to keep your Secret Santa’s feet feeling toasty and looking fabulous, even when the office feels like the frozen tundra.

7. Ready, Set, Write!

With New Year’s Eve right around the corner, this journal is a great gift idea for your coworker, friend, or anyone you know who is working toward a specific goal. While it does come in just a few dollars above the $30 price point, it’s well worth the extra expense (less than a cup of coffee!) for the motivation it provides.

8. There’s no place like home.

Is your Secret Santa homesick over the holidays? Cheer them up with these Homesick Scented Candles. Each state’s candle smells like a bit of home. I love to light my beloved North Carolina candle, which smells a little sweet and a little bitter, just like the perfect bite of NC barbeque.
Homesick candles cost between $25 and $35 each and can be purchased on Amazon.

9. Grow your own tree.

Give a gift that keeps on giving (in a good way) by gifting your Secret Santa a Bonsai Garden Starter Kit from Nature’s Blossom. In addition to giving them reason to slow down and take the time to plant and tend to their little bonsai, as the tree grows, it will enhance their space, whether it finds its home at the office or somewhere around their house or apartment.
An added bonus? Houseplants help rid the atmosphere of carbon dioxide and release oxygen thanks to photosynthesis, which means, in a way, you’ll be gifting them a breath of fresh air for the new year!

10. Stylish Reusable Tote

This solid jute tote from MudPie is a stylish, versatile take on the reusable tote. It’s a steal that can be used to carry everything from groceries to beach gear.
Want to make this gift extra thoughtful? Consider having your Secret Santa’s initials monogrammed on the side as a special touch.

Categories
Lifestyle

Sorry, Not Sorry: 10 Things Women Should Never Apologize For

Overuse of apologies is silly: It diminishes the force of the apologies overall …

If you’ve seen Inside Amy Schumer Season 3, then you’ll probably remember a certain skit called “I’m Sorry.” The scene involves a panel of “top innovators in their respective fields,” all of them women. The presenter makes continuous errors while introducing the panelists, but instead of acknowledging the mistakes, it’s the experts themselves who are constantly apologizing:
“Sorry, uh, it’s not child refugees, it’s actually child soldiers. Sorry, I’m so annoying.”

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Inside Amy Schumer/YouTube

Why is this scene so funny? Because despite being a parody of how even the most accomplished woman is still trapped in a state of feeling perpetually apologetic for pretty much everything, it’s painfully close to reality.

Why are women so sorry?

Women have a habit of apologizing for the most trivial of things. Pointing this out to them may just prompt another apology.

Boys are typically socialized from birth to see the world as their oyster … . Girls are typically raised to attune themselves first to the needs of others …

While, granted, it’s hard to track the amount of times that women apologize, research published in Psychological Science found that women did indeed apologize more than men,
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“This is a reflection of gendered socialization so deeply ingrained in our culture that we often can’t see it,” she says. “Boys are typically socialized from birth to see the world as their oyster and have no reticence about claiming their power. Girls are typically raised to attune themselves first to the needs of others, to respond rather than assume their own agency, even though they are now simultaneously told they can become anything they want to be.”
Feldt noticed that this social programming is particularly problematic in the business world.
“When I was researching my bookFeldt (via International Women’s Forum), No Excuses, I found that prevailing studies attributed this to women’s lower ambition to lead in business and politics,” she says. “But the more I dug into the research, interviewed women across the country, and looked into my own heart and performance as a leader, the more I came to attribute the disparity not to lack of ambition but to women’s socialization that leads to less intention. Ambition is aspirational—having a goal, hope, or desire. Intention implies assuming you are empowered to achieve your ambition and that you take the responsibility to make it happen.”
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For women to achieve those ambitions, it’s important to make conscious strides to overcome the need to apologize. Are you ready to adopt a “sorry, not sorry” attitude?
Stop apologizing, then, for these 10 things:

1. Getting Someone’s Attention

You wouldn’t answer the phone or greet someone in the street by apologizing to them. So why do so many women say “sorry” when they really mean to say, “excuse me”?

I catch myself almost every day starting sentences with ‘Sorry to bother you, but…’

This is especially common in work environments. Think about it: How many times do you apologize during your daily interactions with your coworkers?
Even Feldt has to remain mindful of not apologizing simply for being noticed or taking up attention.
“I catch myself almost every day starting sentences with ‘Sorry to bother you, but…’ and overusing the words ‘just’ or ‘a little bit’ to diminish the credibility of whatever I am saying,” she says. “I have started editing my emails as a practice to stop apologizing, unless of course there is a reason to apologize.”
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She’s even had to edit the language she uses in Take The Lead’s corporate communications in order to use “simple declarative sentences that state what we believe or know in direct terms rather than deflecting to language couched in lack of certainty.”
Remember: there’s no need to apologize for getting someone’s attention. You have a right to initiate a conversation!

2. Getting Bumped Into

It sounds too bizarre to be true, but it happens. Just the other day, I apologized to a group of ducks for slipping on ice in front of them and startling them. I don’t think they appreciated my sentiment.
But seriously, if apologizing to someone else when they bump into you isn’t vocalizing a subconscious fear of taking up too much space, then what is?

3. Crying

Crying in front of someone else is an incredibly vulnerable act. And if you’re prone to Kim Kardashian cry face, then you might find yourself apologizing for subjecting the other person to a potentially uncomfortable, raw display of emotion. But as awkward as it might feel, there’s no need to apologize for anything.
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Women are often stereotyped as being emotional and thus irrational. Not only is this belief massively untrue, but it further emphasizes the outdated belief that emotion is a sign of femininity and weakness.
Every human is entitled to express themselves, regardless of gender. Continuing to attach shame to displays of emotion just perpetuates those same toxic attitudes. Let people feel their feelings!

4. Being Sexually Harassed

Thanks to that fight-or-flight instinct, you never know how you’re going to react when you’re harassed. It’s horrible to freeze up. It’s even more infuriating to hear yourself suddenly apologize.
Why would a woman apologize for being harassed? This is a symptom of a culture that tells women to take responsibility for everything—even the actions of others.
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Lindsey Weedston created Not Sorry Feminism as an antidote to women’s need to over apologize, something she noticed in nearly every woman she knew. She says that “our patriarchal culture teaches women to blame themselves for abuse and assault.”
She says her habit of constantly saying sorry is a result of guilt issues that are “magnified by a culture that blames women and girls for everything bad that happens to them,” otherwise known as victim blaming.
When women react to harassment by apologizing to their attacker, they’re vocalizing that the blame lies not with their attacker, but with them.

5. Not Understanding Something

Did you ever have a teacher tell you that “there are no stupid questions?” That’s just as true now as it was when you were still in school.
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Not everyone learns in the same way. Maybe you need to perform a task first to really understand how it works, or maybe you need to see something written down to remember it.
Remember that apologizing for lacking knowledge you were never taught is like apologizing for not seeing the landmark in a city you’ve never traveled to. It’s not your fault, and there’s no need to be sorry about it.

6. Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an area where being firm takes priority over being polite. While people should always be respectful of what you are and aren’t okay with, it’s totally not your responsibility to make sure they respect you.
If they do cross the line, don’t ever think you owe them an apologetic explanation. There’s really no need to use the word “sorry” when you tell your mother-in-law that you weren’t cool with her filling your baby’s bottle with soda instead of formula.

7. Turning Someone Down

Do you apologize when you won’t give someone your number or go on a date with them? As much as you might be afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, you aren’t under obligation to date or spend time with anyone you don’t want to.
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Of course, you can still let someone down politely. A simple, “no, but thanks” is always better than, “no, I’m sorry.” If they can’t handle rejection, then that’s on them.

8. Declining an Invitation

We all know the guilt of “flaking” on a friend’s social engagement. But you don’t have to be an introvert to know that it’s a bit draining to attend every single event on your calendar. Just think about it: would you really be the best company if you spent the entire time waiting for an appropriate time to leave?
It’s okay to say no and stay in for the night. You don’t owe everyone your presence at their art show or gig. Well, maybe you shouldn’t bail on your mother’s birthday, but you get the gist.

9. Being “Basic”

Do you love pumpkin spice lattes? Is fall your favorite season? Do you think pugs are just the cutest? These might seem like pretty generic interests, but there’s a reason they’re so popular.
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Pumpkin spice is delicious. Fall is beautiful. Pugs are amazing. So why are people who admit to liking these things shamed for being so, well, basic?
Apologies can often reflect embarrassment or shame. But don’t let the haters dictate your interests. Hold that pumpkin spice latte high with pride!

10. Not Being Able to “Fix” a Situation

For a long time, women have been viewed as caregivers whose main task is to keep things running smoothly. Of course, gender roles are (thankfully) a lot more diverse nowadays, and women are less likely to be limited by this outdated cliché. Sadly, they kind of still are—which means women are still feeling like they’re responsible for smoothing over anything that goes wrong.
Madeleine Burry documented her own week-long experiment to stop saying sorry. Not only did it help her become more aware of her apology habit, but it helped her realize that she often feels responsible for situations that really shouldn’t be her problem.
“Ultimately, I think I apologize a lot because I’m an accommodating person and eager to smooth over situations,” she says. “Mostly, I choose to think of that as a positive side of my personality. So I don’t apologize for being an over-apologizer, is what I’m saying. But obviously, there are times when apologizing undercuts me. So I do try to be very aware of when I apologize … ”
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There’s ways to smooth over situations without taking on all the responsibility,” she adds, “which is what apologizing does in some sense.”
The next time you feel the need to apologize when something’s gone wrong, ask yourself: Am I responsible for what went wrong in the first place?

How to Say Sayonara to Sorry

Are you feeling ready to take a break from “sorry”? Great! But…what’s the alternative? What can be done to address this habit?
“It’s been pointed out to me that the goal shouldn’t be to never be sorry,” says Weedston. “Another aspect of our patriarchal culture is that women are expected to solve all the problems that men created that harm us. Should women apologize less, or should men apologize more? Men are taught that nothing they do is their fault, and it’s easy to find men that are extremely reluctant to apologize for anything, ever.”
It’s hard to say if men should start apologizing more to balance the scale, but it’s definitely a good idea for women to reassess just how much they say “sorry” every day. So what about completely eliminating “sorry” from your vocabulary altogether?
Burry thinks this method is a tad over the top.
“Sounds like a super-rude society to me!” she says. “Overuse of apologies is silly: It diminishes the force of the apologies overall … . … We’re in a moment, culturally, … of men apologizing to women for actions from the past, and I think that has a value, even if it’s not a solution to the problem.”
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Weedston agrees that there’s definitely a time and a place for a genuine apology.
“There have also been times where I have said things that harmed people I have privilege over, and it was very important that I be sorry for that,” she says. “I still think that women need to work on not apologizing for speaking up.”
If you want to revolutionize the way you communicate and move away from your “sorry” addiction, think about how you can replace the word with something more appropriate.
Artist Yao Xiao has a suggestion: instead of “sorry,” say “thank you.” Like, “thank you for being patient” instead of, “sorry I’m always late.” By doing this, you remove yourself from this subconscious guilt complex and shift the focus to how appreciative you are of the other person’s efforts. Not to mention you’re kind of complementing them at the same time.
As one of Xiao’s comics says: “Don’t apologize for simply existing. Because it is not wrong.”

Categories
Gym x Studio Sweat

The Beginner’s Guide To Handstands

An hour into my first advanced yoga class, the teacher announced that it was time for handstands. I dutifully started to drag my mat to the wall…but no one followed. These seasoned practitioners didn’t need it. Up they flew—weight on their hands, feet in the air. Balanced! It was like magic. I was amazed and inspired. And a little terrified and befuddled. How would I ever get there?
Handstand—or Adho Mukha Vrksasana—is an advanced yoga pose. But this doesn’t mean you need to be an advanced practitioner to build up the physical strength to turn yourself upside down. There are many building blocks that you can start working on today that will allow you to experience the benefits of this super fun pose.
Be aware that because this is an advanced pose, we recommend working with a teacher before attempting it at home.

Why go upside down?

As the master yogi, B.K.S. Iyengar, writes in Light on Yoga, “[Handstand] develops the body harmoniously. It strengthens the shoulders, arms and wrists and expands the chest fully.”
In other words, it’s a whole-body affair. As Iyengar wrote, not only does it strengthen so many parts of the body at once, it asks them to work in concert with one another.
This pose also allows us to improve our balance. By placing the weight of our bodies on our hands (eek!), we lift the burden of staying balanced from our legs and assign it to our arms for a while. In order to stay balanced we must make small, infinitesimal adjustments. The incremental work is wonderful for the body’s awareness.
And from a more philosophical point of view, there’s something powerful about seeing the world from a new angle—flipping your reality. Sometimes when we’re stuck or feel weighed down, it’s a nice way to recalibrate our perspective. Also—surprise, surprise—it’s so much fun! Who doesn’t want to feel like a kid again?
That said, handstands aren’t easy, and many people have all sorts of barriers up when it comes to attempting them. These may be physical challenges or mental ones.
The biggest physical obstacle is arm strength. The arms and shoulders must be strong enough to support the weight of the body. The biggest mental obstacle is often fear—of falling, of putting the head down, of kicking up and letting go, of what will happen. All these challenges can be worked through by taking the pose step by step.

Prepare, prepare, prepare.

Handstands aren’t all about arm and shoulder strength, but it is certainly a big factor. Remember all those preparatory poses that come early on in a yoga class? Those will all serve you when building up the strength to turn yourself upside down. Here are a few vital poses to practice:

Downward Dog

This pose is formational for so many asanas, but especially for handstands. Although the weight is distributed pretty evenly between arms and legs, your arms are taking on more than they are accustomed to, and you’re learning the proper hand-wrist-arm alignment you need. There’s also a misconception that your legs don’t need to do much work in handstand—not true! All the work you’re making your legs do here will help once you turn upside down.

Downward Dog With Your Arms on the Wall

Stand at a 90 degree angle with your feet on the floor and palms on the wall. Your body should be in an L shape. This gives you a chance to practice the arm and shoulder rotation and support without any weight bearing on your arms.

Plank

This is another arm strengthener. It also works your abs, which are vital for handstand. Start on your hands and knees, with your hands right under your shoulders. Reach one leg back and curl the toes under. Add the other leg. Your legs can be glued together or slightly separated. Reach your heels back to strengthen the legs. Lift up energetically through the wrists.

Chatturanga

This one can be practiced with your knees on the floor, or not. Hands are right under your shoulders, legs and abs are engaged. You bend your elbows back, close in to your ribs—not out to the side as you would in a regular pushup.

Jumping From Downward Dog to the Front of Your Mat

This one helps with building up the push-off power you’ll need to get your legs up in the air.

Building Blocks

Before you hurl your legs up in the air, it’s important to remember that handstand is a challenging, advanced pose that should be attempted and practiced (for many months!) with the help of a teacher. We do not recommend flipping yourself upside down alone in your living room! But you can begin by attempting these two variations. Before beginning, make sure you’ve cleared your area of any furniture.

Variation One

  1. Position yourself on your hands and knees with your toes curled under and your heels against the wall. Your arms should be shoulder width apart, and your middle finger should be pointing straight to the top of the mat. Press down on your inner thumb and forefinger. Look between your hands.
  2. Push up into downward dog—it will probably be a shorter dog than you’re used to, so feel free to bend your knees.
  3. If you’re feeling strong here, lift your right leg up onto the wall at a 90-degree angle, and press your foot into the wall. Your body will be in an L-shaped semi-handstand.
  4. With added power in your arms, bring your left leg up to join the right, and press both feet strongly into the wall. If it’s too challenging with your legs straight, keep your knees slightly bent. Draw in your abdominals and breathe for 3 to 5 seconds.
  5. Bring one foot down, then the other. Rest in child’s pose.

Variation Two

  1. Position yourself on your hands and knees, only this time put your hands about half a foot from the wall, fingers facing the wall.
  2. Push up into downward dog.
  3. Look at the space between your hands. Lift your right leg up in the air a foot or two. It should be straight with your foot flexed—an engaged, active leg.
  4. Bend your supportive leg and hop up off the ground a few times.
  5. Practice this on the other side.
  6. Rest in child’s pose.

Bonus Round!

  1. Reposition yourself in downward dog. Lift one leg up, bend your bottom knee. This time, make the hops bigger until the upper leg touches the wall. The other leg should quickly follow.
  2. Once your heels are on the wall, flex your feet and engage your legs. They should be just as strongly engaged as if you were standing on them. Draw in your abs.
  3. To come down, draw in your abs and land as softly as you can on a bent knee.
  4. Rest in child’s pose.

Please note: We do not recommend using a friend to support you unless you are in a class setting, or your friend is a yoga teacher.

Advanced Variation

Once you’ve been practicing the pose for some time, it’s really fun to try this completely free of the wall so you can balance on your own. Again, you want to make sure that you’re not near any furniture or other people. This is why it’s always best to practice this pose in particular at a yoga studio where there’s plenty of room.

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In the Kitchen Nosh

Breaking Down The Buddha Bowl (And Exploring The Benefits Of Healthy One-Dish Meals)

Organic, healthy, one-bowl meals have been in vogue for quite some time. Over the years, they’ve gone by a variety of names: hippie bowls, macro bowls, sunshine bowls, and so on.
But a recent trend taking off on Pinterest has given these one-dish meals a brand new name (and a fresh twist). Known as Buddha bowls, these most recent incarnations contain a filling mixture of roasted or raw vegetables, a variety of greens, healthy grains, and beans. For added texture and flavor, bowls can also contain seasonings, sauces, nuts, and seeds.
Buddha bowls are healthy, tasty options (not to mention easy and quick!) that encourage you to get creative in the kitchen while staying healthy and feeling full.

What’s the Buddha got to do with it?

You might find yourself wondering if there’s a religious connotation associated with this meal. Are they supposed to help you when it comes to meditation? Not really; in fact, the name is a bit of a misnomer. A Buddha bowl is supposed to be so stuffed full of healthy fuel for the body that it resembles the round belly of the Buddha. Except Guatama Buddha, who founded the Buddhist tradition over 2,000 years ago, actually had a more average build. The rotund, smiling Buddha we often see, whose name is Budai Luohan, the Laughing Buddha, was a Chinese monk who lived hundreds of years after Guatama.
But no matter what they’re called, there is no denying that Buddha bowls can be life-changing. They are inherently vegetarian or vegan, but the great thing about them is that they are endlessly customizable. You can add any combination of fruit, vegetables, protein, grains, and greens you want to induce a tastebud explosion.

Keep it authentic.

When reaching for the healthy, tasty meal of your dreams, make sure that it’s actually a Buddha bowl. InStyle provides a helpful breakdown of the core contents that shouldn’t change: “For the uninitiated, [Buddha Bowls are] a meal (often vegetarian or vegan) that typically contains 15 percent lean protein, 25 percent whole grains, 35 percent vegetables, 10 percent sauce, and 30 percent extras, like nuts, seeds, or sprouts.”
Using that basic formula, a true Buddha bowl will contain all the nutrition you need to get you through the day. That’s why they make great meal options, regardless of whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
There are literally hundreds of variations of Buddha bowls out there. Of course, any of these recipes can be customized to suit your unique tastes, but here are some great bowls to get you started:

Perfect for Buddha Newbies

If you’re new to Buddha bowls and want a good place to start, try this basic recipe that walks you through each step of building a bowl, from picking your base all the way through to choosing the perfect sauce or other topping.

A Take on Thai

If you like Thai food, try the Thai Tempeh Buddha bowl, which boasts 20 grams of plant-based protein and 16 grams of fiber topped with delicious cashew curry sauce.

Going Southwest (and Spicy)

Are you constantly craving the smoky chili flavor perfected by your favorite burrito joint? If yes, do it yourself with this recipe that uses maple chipotle black beans and chipotle peppers over sweet potatoes and quinoa.

Eating With the Season

For a seasonal twist, check out the Fall Harvest Buddha Bowl with butternut squash, chickpeas, pumpkin seeds, cinnamon, and nutmeg. As if that weren’t mouthwatering enough, it’s topped off with an apple cider cashew dressing.
Whatever your taste, style, or nutritional goals, Buddha bowls make nutritious, scrumptious, easy meals that encourage your creativity and let your taste buds soar. Try one out today!

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Motherhood

Placenta Encapsulation And The Baby Who Got Sick

A case study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is raising questions about the safety of a postpartum practice in the natural health community.
According to the CDC, a newborn in Oregon became very ill after the mother, who was kept anonymous, began ingesting her placenta in dehydrated, capsule form. The baby had been born healthy, but returned to the hospital shortly after birth with respiratory problems and was eventually diagnosed with group B streptococcus agalactiae bacteremia, or GBS.
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The infant was treated with antibiotics and returned home only to contract the infection a second time. This is when the mother brought up the placenta capsules she was consuming, prepared from her own placenta by a company she hired. When she stopped taking the capsules and her child was given a second antibiotic treatment, the baby made a complete recovery.
The doctors involved in the case believe that the mother contracted the infection from the capsules and then passed it on to her child, who she was breastfeeding.
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Although only one case, this story is being used by the CDC to educate on the potential risks of ingesting placenta. The difficulty being faced is the fact that very little literature exists on the topic. We did a little digging around, curious if this story was indicative that all placenta ingestion is risky.

“What’s the point?”

For most mothers, ingesting the placenta after birth is done in hopes of easing the symptoms of the postpartum season. Those in favor of the practice believe that ingesting the placenta reduces postpartum bleeding, symptoms of postpartum depression, increases milks supply, and even boosts the mother’s energy.
Placenta encapsulation has become more popular recently, but it’s founded in the idea that mammals have always ingested their placenta after birth.
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“Hundreds of thousands of women have encapsulated their placentas,” says Samantha Moore, certified postpartum placenta specialist and owner of My KC Doula. “Although there is no scientific evidence, there is mounds of anecdotal evidence that women have shared through that years that says, ‘Yes! It really does work!’”
It’s the lack of scientific evidence that gives doctors working in obstetrics, like Ira Jaffe, DO, an OB-GYN at Rosh Maternal Fetal Medicine in New York City, pause. Jaffe isn’t convinced of it’s effectiveness, yet chooses not to discourage his patients from taking their placenta home, instead talking with mothers about safety concerns to keep in mind.
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“It’s not a subject that’s been very rigorously studied, so a lot of the conversation in the medical community is more about extrapolating from things that are known a little more clearly,” he explains. “What most medical professionals will say is ‘What’s the point?’ because there’s no evidence that says it’s helpful.”

Is placenta encapsulation safe?

While the safety of placenta encapsulation is only recently receiving national attention because of the Oregon case, it isn’t a new conversation. Postpartum doulas have long been having this conversation among themselves, criticizing poor practices and advocating for safer placenta storage and preparation.

“This story has definitely opened a lot of people’s eyes to the scariness that can be placenta encapsulation, but it’s important to realize that it doesn’t have to be this way.”

Opponents of placenta encapsulation have certainly used this single story as a means of questioning the safety of the practice entirely. In the CDC’s case study, mind you, it said that no standards exist for the processing of placenta for consumption.
That is true, but it also isn’t the nail in the coffin for placenta encapsulation. In fact, for placenta specialists who prioritize safety, this story is considered a blessing, finally starting a national conversation on what safe handling and encapsulation of placenta looks like.

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Belly to Baby Doula and Wellness

“Clearly something is wrong in this industry that needs to be rectified immediately,” says Moore. “This story has definitely opened a lot of people’s eyes to the scariness that can be placenta encapsulation, but it’s important to realize that it doesn’t have to be this way. With proper protocols and safety, it can be a completely safe option for lots of women.”

“Doctors, the CDC, and the [Food and Drug Administration] need to jump on board with some stringent protocol to keep them safe.”

So what does safe placenta encapsulation look like, exactly? For starters, Moore says that the mother should never send her placenta home with someone to encapsulate. Instead, placenta specialists should work in the mother’s home, where the mother is fully aware of the cleanliness of the environment and can observe the entire process.
Additionally, anyone who is working with placenta should be blood-borne pathogen trained, according to Moore, which provides a complete understanding of the right way to care for the placenta being processed.
There are also basic safety and cleanliness practices that should be observed. For Moore, this means gloves, footies, a hair net, mask, and apron. She also meticulously sanitizes the environment and tools used for encapsulation.
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When it comes to encapsulating placenta from moms who are group B strep positive, both Moore and Jaffe agree that additional precautions must be taken. Jaffe strongly urges against the use of the placenta in any instance of GBS, while Moore suggests rigorous safety measures before moving forward.
“A person that is GBS positive needs to be very careful that [their encapsulator] is upholding the highest safety standards possible,” Moore explains. “If your encapsulator can’t tell you exactly how they process to ensure that there will be no GBS bacteria left in your placenta, you should not hire them!”
Instead of demonizing the practice, Moore hopes that this case study with encourage the CDC to promote safe preparation of placentas.
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“This is a service that women want,” she says. “Doctors, the CDC, and the [Food and Drug Administration] need to jump on board with some stringent protocol to keep them safe. They are doing a disservice to women everywhere by saying ‘don’t do it,’ because women will still do it, and it will continue to be done by pseudo-professionals who are not following safety protocol because they simply don’t know or don’t care.”
Jaffe is one such doctor who has taken the stand that, if a woman has decided this is a good option for her, he prefers she know how to safely proceed. He encourages them to carefully research their specialist, to be familiar with the environment in which the placenta will be prepared, and to be willing to say no to placenta encapsulation if they test positive for GBS.

Are there better options?

Erin Heger, mom of one, had her placenta encapsulated by a trusted doula. She hoped to lower her risk for postpartum depression and to support her body in making milk for her baby.
Heger admits that she’s fairly certain she wouldn’t try placenta encapsulation again if she decided to have another child. In her mind, it isn’t safety that gives her pause: She’s simply not sure about the benefits.
In her case, she felt the benefits were oversold. She felt the natural community she was involved in online had made out placenta encapsulation as the answer for postpartum depression. So, when she began to experience raging anxiety and depression after her son’s birth, she felt ashamed that her placenta capsules didn’t seem to be work, and actually postponed receiving formal treatment for postpartum depression as a result.
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According to Jaffe, moms who are worried about postpartum depression should consider engaging in strategies that have been proven to work. Specifically, he recommends exercising one-to-three times a week, doing anything possible to get plenty of rest, and avoiding the isolation that is far too common for new moms.
“People are left on their own so much in nuclear families with small children, [and] it really challenges the woman in an extreme way,” he says. “I counsel patients to not be afraid to call on family members and friends. If you’re left feeling isolated, then it’s going to leave you feeling much more vulnerable to a serious clinical depression.”
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Medication is something that some moms should be open to. It isn’t always necessary, especially among moms who are simply experiencing mood changes typical to new motherhood; women with a history of depression, however, should prepare themselves for the possibility of needing extra support in the form of anti-depressants.
It’s important to point out that doulas like Moore are not selling placenta encapsulation as a cure-all for depression. In fact, most take postpartum depression seriously enough to encourage the involvement of an OB-GYN or mental health professional. Moore not only encourages her clients to care for themselves in the postpartum period, she insists they speak with their care provider in the instance that depression or anxiety is becoming an issue.
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“As a postpartum placenta specialist, it’s a very important part of our training that we never suggest that placenta [capsules] are a postpartum depression medication,” she explains. “I am more than happy to perform the service and help them through the process as they choose, but my role as a postpartum doula and postpartum placenta specialist is very clear … .I am not a mental health professional.”

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Motherhood

Millennial Parents Are Raising Their Children In A Much Different Way

Born in 1986, I am a true millennial. And if you came earthside between 1982 and 2004, you are too. We’re a large group: In 2016, we passed that of the Baby Boomers as the largest living generation.
Currently, most millennials are in their twenties and thirties, which means we’re in our typical childbearing years. In fact, about 80 percent of new mothers are millennials. And those millennial parents have a nicknamed subgroup of their own—parennials!
Times have changed since the previous generation entered their parenting years. These days, we have answers at our fingertips. We can track sleep schedules via apps on our phone, and we often turn to social media for emotional support. I know: I’ve done it all over the last eight years.
As a parennial, technology is so much of my everyday: something my own mother never had. When she was in my shoes, she called her mother most days for advice, researched things in books, and logged her children’s milestones in a darling baby book. But just 30 years after her experience, things are very different.
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Now, my phone and all the resources and relationships it holds have become my lifeline as a parent. It stands in for communication, research, and documenting. For example, when I was in early labor with my son, I timed my contractions through an app and was able to show my midwife the report when she arrived. I’m active on social media, where I chronicle my children’s art projects, funny sayings, and both big and small milestones.
I use my phone to chart each of my children’s growths and remember what feels like countless appointments and obligations. I use it to keep all my notes, send emails, and even entertain my children with educational apps and movies. Without this technology, I’m not sure my mommy brain could keep up.
My own mother survived parenting without a smart phone. I’ve just never known any different. Sometimes though, I wonder if my kids and I would be better off with a less tech-y life, like my mom’s. Technology aside, parennials are raising their children different than generations before, because we’re living in a new era that requires us to make new accommodations.

Let’s talk about Dr. Google.

Have you ever succumbed to the pitfall of Googling late at night? Perhaps your child has a high fever or an odd rash. Maybe you’re up late wondering if they know enough words for their age or if you’ve introduced the right food at the right time.

Millennials, having been raised in the age of technology, tend towards being used to immediate gratification.

Author Bruce Feiler, who coined the term parennial, wrote an article for the New York Times where he claimed that this generation is full of “high-information parents.”
I couldn’t agree more. Information is everywhere for us around the clock. We don’t have to wait for a doctor to return our call. We don’t have to traipse to the library, and use the Dewey Decimal System to track down the right resource. There is no wondering or waiting.
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Donna Volipitta, a doctor of education who studies neurology, psychology, and education in relation to parenting, comments on the speed parennials have become accustomed to: “I believe that the difference in parenting [between generations], though exemplified by the change in information source, is more based on time frame.”
“Millennials, having been raised in the age of technology, tend towards being used to immediate gratification. They want immediate solutions. If they don’t know an answer, they google it,” she explains. “If they need to get somewhere, they Uber. If they need food, they Grubhub. If they want a picture, they Snap it.” And, although we’re living in the age of fast answers, parenting itself is a slow and steady journey.

We get the answer right away, even if that answer isn’t always correct or the best.

The immediate, never-ending knowledge base that technology brings ushers in other things, too. Like anxiety. And worry. And misconceptions. Because, after all, Dr. Google doesn’t always properly diagnose, and the internet doesn’t always offer accurate advice.
“Many parents, especially new parents, reach out for information because they are in a panic, moment of frustration, or just overall curious about something,” Maria Sanders, a licensed social worker and parent coach, says. “We get the answer right away, even if that answer isn’t always correct or the best.”
Fast information is a Catch-22 for sure, because, on the flip side, the internet is also full of mountains of research, parenting insight, and truth that can lead moms and dads to become better parents.
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“I turn many times to the internet, reading parenting blogs for information and advice,” Carey, a millennial mom of four, shares. “I feel like parenting in this age of information is both a blessing and a curse, and it is sometimes challenging to remain in the present moment with my kids.”

When Social Media Comes Into Play

Like Carey said, quick access to information brings about a slew of challenges. And it’s not just Google. It’s the draw of social media. Posting, tweeting, pinning, and sharing photos gives us immediate access to friends, family, strangers…and all of their opinions, too. Talk about overwhelming!
Then again, having people who care so quick at hand is a blessing too. “My go-to place for parenting advice is a group [online],” Samantha, a millennial mom of one, says. “They are a science-based group and are always on top of new studies and information. They have become almost like sisters to me.”
Strangers have become like family, all because of technology. Now, that’s something only a parennial can claim as part of their parenting experience.

The Virtual Tribe

It is in these social media groups that community thrives. Through them, the village that raises the child is born.
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“There are groups for parents of toddlers, children with special needs, babywearing groups, nursing mama groups, as well as just general parenting groups,” Sanders says. “We don’t live in small villages, so parenting groups create a village mentality … we’ve all been there, so let’s lean on each other for advice and ideas!”
So many of my dearest relationships thrive because of technology. The women I converse with offer daily offer support and camaraderie in my parenting journey. Motherhood would be isolating and scary without them.
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At the click of a button, I can vent, pose a concern, and quickly receive responses. In turn, I can respond to the other parents who are doing the same. Together, we’re juggling parenting in a new age, and it’s comforting to know we are not going at it alone.

What Parennials Are Missing

Past generations may have done things differently, but sometimes I wonder if they did it better. Slower? More intentionally? Like Carey, I fear I’m not always as present as I could be with my children. Having endless information available to my every thought, from emails pinging in to “friends” tagging me—it’s enough to make a mother go batty or grow addicted.
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I suspect that’s why we often hear about millennials taking a break from social media. They want to return to the ways of their parents and grandparents and just do life—without the need to search, respond, or post every detail.
“We miss out on real human connection and a full dialogue,” Sanders says.
Computers and phones can never replace real life advice and support. That’s something previous generations know, and something many perennials are seeking.
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“If I go to the internet, I can read a blurb about how to deal with my colicky baby, and then I can click onto something else,” Sanders says. “If my mom or aunt comes over, she can physically show me how to bathe the baby or cook that healthy meal for my toddler. We don’t get all that from Google!”
When millennials eliminate their exposure to older mentors they, and by consequence, their children, miss out.

Is balance possible?

Sanders believes balance is most definitely possible.

At some point, all of us need support.

“Sometimes, it’s nice to have the anonymity of an online group or be able to crowdsource the answer to our question,” she shares. “But we have to balance that with real human connection, whether that is with a call to the doctor or the hug from a friend or family member.”
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“At some point, all of us need support. Having the courage to identify the need and ask for that support, [for] the sake of our children, is what can make a great parent.”
And that’s the beauty of parenting now. We have the best of both worlds: online support and real life resources.
Information overload can easily exhaust a new parent, though. So perhaps it’s time to create some boundaries. Rather than endlessly surfing for answers, find a circle of reliable sources and stop there; close the laptop, and set down the phone. With the space that provides, turn to parents and grandparents for their tips and tricks when a problem arises. Tried-and-true advice, plus a hug, sounds much better than 4,000 website links with possible help, doesn’t it?
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In the end, trust your gut, know who you can rely on (whether online or off), and commit to being your child’s best parent. Regardless of your generation, no one can mother or father your child as well as you can.

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More Than Mom Motherhood

Beyond The Morning Routine: 5 Rituals That Can Change You And Your Family (For The Better)

Remember the rituals you loved most as a kid? Did you listen to the same holiday radio station at exactly 7 p.m. every day in December? Or spend Friday evenings sitting around the dining room table reciting the kiddush? You might even be carrying around some of those rituals with you now, repeating them daily, weekly, or just once a year.
We tend to get caught up in routines when the kids arrive: bedtime routines, morning routines, teeth-brushing routines. They’re steps we take every day that help us keep all the plates we’re juggling way up in the air, but they don’t tend to take a lot of thought. We do them. We move on.
Rituals, on the other hand, stick with us. They take thought to do and put us in another frame of mind entirely. And the rituals you start now will likely stick with your kids for the rest of their lives.
Even better? There’s solid science out there that shows these rituals help us through tough times and ward off “negative emotions” such as stress and anxiety.
In a stressful world, who couldn’t use an extra ounce of armor against negative emotions? We certainly can, and our kids could too.
But getting stressed out about how to pick a ritual to develop with the kids would defeat the purpose of all that stress relief, right? Don’t worry, we’ve got your back. Try some of these options on for size to find one that works for your family.

Remember it.

Rituals don’t have to be long, drawn-out affairs. They just have to be repeated actions that are done with mindfulness. One easy but effective ritual? Go around the dinner table each night and ask each member of the family to talk about one good thing that happened during their day. Repeating the practice will help make it stick, but the practice itself can help re-focus everyone in the family on the positives in life.
Don’t always get to eat dinner together? That’s life! But similar practices can be done any time of the day. Try asking everyone in the family for one thing they’re excited about at breakfast time!

Try it.

We all depend on our routines, but if you’re caught in a rut, a ritual might pull you out.
Think about it: When’s the last time you tried to make something different for dinner? Tried to shop at a new grocery store? Did anything…new?
Spice up your family’s life and create a ritual with a “try it” day. Pick one day of the week when you and the kids try something new, whether it’s an activity or a food. Not only will you create a practice that the kids can take with them into adulthood, you’ll teach your kids not to get complacent.

Walk it.

We all mean to fit exercise into our lives, but somehow that 5 a.m. yoga class doesn’t sound quite as attractive when you were up until 2 a.m. sewing a costume for “dress like an old person day” at your kid’s school.
Make movement a ritual with a daily (if possible) or weekly walk with the family. Just 15 or 20 minutes of walking and talking is all it takes.  

Book it.

Reading with our kids is often part of the bedtime routine, and it can be a bit mindless when you’ve just read If You Give a Moose a Muffin for the thousandth time. But choosing a book that’s got special meaning and reading it just once a year can become a ritual that your family repeats again and again.
Whether it’s picking a chapter book that you read over the course of a month, every single year, or reading a special holiday-themed favorite every December, the mix of repetition and reading is both ritual and a chance to push the love of reading. Win–win!

Theme it.

Take a page out of the PTA fundraiser book and make theme nights your ritualistic friend. Pick a country once a year that your kids will learn about via books, plan a dinner around the country’s cuisine, and watch a movie set there. Or throw out the educational element (yes, it’s okay to just have fun) and make one night a month all about a favorite film, with eats centered on the movie and the whole family indulging in a quotefest.
 

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Lifestyle

Makeup Tips To Make You Look Younger

No matter your age, there’s always a day or two when you wish you could look a little younger. Sure, you’re already beautiful as you are, but for those early mornings after a night of no sleep, you might want to know a trick or two to turn the clock back a bit.
You may already have a few go-to tips when you want that youthful glow, but in case you’d like to add some new tools to your makeup bag, I talked to a few professional makeup artists for their expert advice.
HealthyWayAlso, I had the unique experience of being a stage and TV actress for a while, and I learned quite a lot from the many makeup artists I worked with over the years. It turns out that the inside tips they use to make you look good on camera often work just as well in real life!
So, if you want the dewy glow of a teenager or just a little extra sparkle in your eyes, here are all the pro tips that’ll keep you looking young!

The Whites of Your Eyes

My favorite theater makeup tip was a way to make your eyes look brighter, which, in turn, takes a couple years off your look. After your eyeshadow application, put a bit of pure white on the corners of your eyes by the tear ducts.

This tip isn’t unique to theater. In fact, most of the professional makeup artists I spoke to gave the same advice. The bit of white draws attention to your eyes and actually makes them look a little bigger. Plus, the white brightens up potential discoloration around the eyes which makes you look more awake and energized.
On stage, you can add a lot of white before you start looking crazy, but in real life, a little dab will do. Be sure to blend the white into your eyeshadow, but you don’t need to make it disappear completely.
If you’d like a fancier or more festive look, put a bit of light-colored shimmer over the white. Then your eyes will really sparkle!

Go easy with foundation.

One of the main steps in most, if not all, make-up routines is foundation. If you use it correctly, foundation can cover up blemishes and smooth out your skin. However, many people make a crucial, cakey mistake in their quest to look younger. For an insider tip on how to fully benefit from your foundation, take a look at our video below.

Keep it creamy.

As lines start to form on your face (it’s not a bad thing, and it happens to all of us), you may want to change your makeup to suit your changing skin. One easy way to do this is to use cream-based products.
Professional makeup artist, Bustle beauty expert, and owner of Sugar Skull Makeup Marissa Hohner says, “Cream blushes, cream eyeshadow, cream highlighters will all give you a younger appearance.” The cream adds hydration to your skin. “The more moisturized your skin looks, the younger your skin appears,” Hohner says.
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While blush and eyeshadow can make dry skin look drier, creams go on smooth and hide all the little imperfections. Plus, there’s something super satisfying about using a stick of blush. I can’t explain it, but it’s true.

Make friends with concealer.

Find a concealer you love. Covering up under-eye circles or little skin imperfections always makes you look instantly younger. I love the light, but pigmented, Instant Age Rewind. It covers my exceptionally dark circles without having to cake on layers and layers of makeup.
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Hohner has an additional concealer tip: Set with powder! “By using a lightweight, loose, translucent powder to set your under-eye concealer, you will prevent your concealer from creasing and accentuating any crow’s feet or fine lines under and around the eye.”
Concealer getting cakey under your eyes can be a big problem, but a little setting powder solves the issue completely.
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The best part about concealer is how easy it is. Honestly, if you don’t have time for a full face, just pop on some concealer, seal with powder, and head out the door. Simply covering up under-eye circles makes you look years younger, and it’s super easy to do.

For bad circles, add a little orange.

Once, a makeup artist who was working with me took out some orange lipstick and I got scared. As a super pale lady, orange lips are not my deal. “No, it’s for your eyes,” she said. I got more scared. But, she used a bit of it under my concealer to cancel out the purple of my under-eye circles…and it worked great!

You may have seen YouTube videos of makeup bloggers bragging about using red lipstick for circles under your eyes. But Instyle (and I) agree that a little orange under the concealer is the best way to go.
According to the magazine, red and orange are opposite of blues and purples on the color wheel, so the colors cancel each other out. But orange is less harsh than red, so it blends more easily while still combating the darkness under your eyes.


Now, this concealer trick can vary a lot based on your skin tone. If you have darker skin, a red might be the best. If you have fair skin, a peach tone works great. Have some fun with your reddy-orange lipsticks and see what works best for you!

All About Those Brows

“It’s all about the ‘brows!” says professional makeup artist Rosa Fasolo, who’s worked with everyone from JWoww of Jersey Shore to David Tutera on WETV’s CELEBrations. “As we get older, our eyebrows begin to lighten, grow less hair, and can sometimes become almost non-existent and lose their shape,” Fasolo says.
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But adding back some shape can work wonders, according to Fasolo: “One of my favorite ‘never fail’ makeup hacks that makes all the difference, especially when trying to achieve a younger look, is filling in and darkening the eyebrows and giving them a nice full shape.”
She truly thinks this is the most important step for a lively, youthful look. “You’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it makes!”

Lashes: Go big or go home.

Think of all the things that have beautifully long lashes: babies, Disney Princesses, baby deer. I mean, when’s the last time a “doe-eyed” person looked old? Never! If you’ve seen an old doe in the forest, I’d truly be surprised.
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Clearly, long lashes give you an instantly youthful look. But just like the brows, our lashes grow thinner as we age. So, we just have to work a little harder to get the long lashes of our dreams.
Feel free to add a little extra mascara to gain length and volume, or go all out with false lashes. When the rest of your makeup is light, going a little heavy on the lashes doesn’t look out of place—it looks nice!
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If you are curious about fake lashes, but are hesitant to wear a full set, start with individual lashes. The Cut recommended applying single lashes on the outer corners of your eyes. Then, if you want to add more, feel free! This way you can have as much or as little lash as you want. Plus, it’ll look super natural.

The biggest tip, though, is to start with the skin.

Every makeup artist agreed on the best way to look young: Have good skin! Okay, that’s a bit of a simplification, but every professional knows that taking care of your skin is always the most important part of any makeup routine.
HealthyWay“Great makeup always starts with a base of a strong skincare routine,” Hohner says. She recommends cleansing twice a day and exfoliating a few times a week—no matter your age. For an extra youthful look, add some vitamin C to your routine. “Using products with vitamin C in them promotes collagen growth in your skin, balances out discoloration/sun spots and prevents/tightens the appearance of lines and wrinkles in the skin.” So, with some care and vitamin C, you can slow aging down without any makeup.
For an extra youthful glow, Caren Sayadian, owner of Caren Beauty, recommends using a serum and primer before putting on foundation. “Otherwise, the makeup just ‘sits’ on the skin, which can look patchy and uneven, as more mature skin lacks collagen and makes it feel dry,” Sayadian says.
A good primer fills in pores and lines, so you get solid, even coverage from just a little bit of foundation.
HealthyWay
Then, to complete your look, add a bit of powder. “Do not over powder the entire face,” Sayadian says, “as youthful skin has a natural glow.” You don’t want to cover up your glow. Let it show! Okay, enough rhymes.
But honestly, the most important tip to look young? Love how you look. If you feel good, you’ll look good, no matter what makeup you wear.

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Conscious Beauty Lifestyle

Clean Up Your Skin…With Bacteria?

Just a few years back, health-conscious women would think twice about leaving the house unless they were armed with a little bottle of hand sanitizer in their handbags, ready to take on the big bad germs out in the world with just a squirt. Now, more and more of people are intentionally spraying bacteria directly onto their skin.

Bacteria does not necessarily equal “bad.”

The skin is the largest organ of the human body, covering a surface area of about 22 square feet. And while that measurement is impressive, it might be even more helpful to think of your skin as its own ecosystem, for all across the creases, folds, and pores of your elastic epidermis live millions and millions of microorganisms. Yes, your skin is home to massive colonies of bacteria, fungi, viruses, mites—the very sorts of tiny biota we usually think we want to wipe out.
Not all bacteria are made equal, though. As many of us reaching for another serving of kefir and kale know, the presence of certain bacteria in our guts promotes digestion, metabolism, and nutrient uptake. These bacteria can also defend against disease. Similarly, scientists have been finding that many of the microorganisms on our skin—or skin flora, as they’re called—aren’t just harmless. They’re actually keeping us healthy.
Some cutting-edge research suggests, for example, that the cutaneous bacterium Staphylococcus epidermidis helps boost our immune response to dangerous pathogens. Overuse of antibacterial soaps and sanitizers can kill off too many S. epidermidis, making it easier for harmful microorganisms to colonize our skin and harder for our body to fight off infection.

Mother Dirt is rethinking what it means to have clean skin.

Such findings have been compelling some to rethink their entire approach to skincare, which supports the sustainability of product lines that are compatible with our skin flora. Enter Mother Dirt.
Mother Dirt is a line of “biome-friendly” products for the skin developed by the biotechnologists and probiotic evangelists at AOBiome. According to the company, modern hygiene—from synthetic deodorants and moisturizers to over-showering and shampooing—have annihilated the ammonia-oxidizing bacteria (AOB) our bodies need. AOB abound in soil and water and once naturally populated human skin. They break down ammonia, a major component in our sweat, and yield nitrogen-rich byproducts that may improve skin health.
As a response to the hypothesized deficit, AOBiome developed AO+ Mist, a patented and clinically tested spray containing those perspiration-hungry little AOBs.
Now, some hardcore AO+ Mist users have tried foregoing bathing altogether. AOBiome’s founder, David Whitlock, famously—or infamously—hasn’t showered since he was inspired to create his company after seeing some horses roll in the dirt well over a decade ago.
But don’t fear any BO bogeyman or greasy-hair gremlins: AOBiome recommends users spritz the product as a daily part of their hygiene routine, targeting the scalps, pits, feet, hands, and groin—you know, our sweatier crevices. And many misters have reported some seriously positive results: clearer, less oily and better-moisturized skin alongside reduced use of skincare products, which can be toxic to the environment in addition to having a harsh impact on our bodies.
The AO+ Mist runs around $50.00 and lasts about four weeks. It’s best kept in the fridge. Other Mother Dirt offerings include a face and body cleanser and shampoo.

For healthy skin, look to your lifestyle, too.

The science behind skin-based probiotics is young but promising. And more and more probiotic-enriched products are making it to market. Gallinée’s creams seek to return the skin to its natural pH levels, Tula’s serums and moisturizers incorporate superfoods like blueberries and turmeric, and the all-natural Crude hopes you’ll say sayonara to soap—and your acne, eczema, and rosacea—altogether.
Yet as with any new health trend, proceed with caution. In the last few decades, just think of the revolving cast of villains in our dietary drama: fat, carbs, gluten, sugar. Just as Mother Dirt wants to balance out your biome, aim for a balanced, holistic approach to your skincare. To help your skin flora thrive, you don’t need to rip out your shower and roll around in the dirt with Whitlock’s horses.
Revisit your diet and reach for skin-nourishing foods like strawberries, tomatoes, almonds, and fish. Rearrange your schedule to spend more time outdoors rather than being cooped up inside with sterilized surfaces and recycled air. Review your skincare products, including your makeups, for artificial ingredients and replace with natural alternatives where possible.
And reestablish your skincare reflexes. Yes, clean your hands thoroughly, especially after using the bathroom, while cooking, between dirty jobs, or when visiting a hospital, but consider washing up with a little soap and warm water—not immediately opening your palm for that bacteria-busting squirt.