Month: December 2017

32 Date-Night Ideas You'll Both Genuinely Love

Post author By Allison Schmidt
Post date December 2, 2017

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, it’s still vital to go on dates. Keeping the romance fresh is fun, it fills up your heart, and it can help you reconnect with your favorite person.
Marriage therapist Michelene M. Wasil, LMFT, says that connecting on dates is the most important part of keeping relationships close. “Dates where you are in the same room together, like going to a movie, are okay, but not truly connecting” says Wasil.
So how can you go above and beyond to invest in the health of your relationship? Enter a carefully curated list of fun date-night ideas that will have you engaging with your special someone in no time. There’s a little something for everyone, and not a dinner-and-a-movie situation in sight.

Active and Sporty Dates

1. Skydive

If getting out of a slump is what you need, skydiving is the way to go! Nothing gets your adrenaline pumping quite like jumping out of an airplane. After the big jump, find a relaxed restaurant where you can refuel your body and share a toast to having made it! Stay as long as the restaurant will let you and have a good chat.

2. Play Each Other’s Favorite Sports

If you’re a basketball kinda gal and your partner loves hockey, make time to play both. This is especially helpful if one of you isn’t too familiar with the other’s game of choice. Lots of tender teaching moments and close embraces will be necessary as one of you shows the other how to bust all the right moves. You’ll have that rom-com sparkle in your eyes in no time.

3. Couples vs. Couples Game

Pick a sport you and two or three of your favorite couples know like volleyball, soccer, softball, or touch football. Winning team gets to pick dinner, losing team buys. This is a great way to get yourself and some friends out of that infamous dinner-and-a-movie rut.

4. Hike to a Lookout

Not only is hiking good for your body, but it will involve a bunch of romantic stops along the way to a beautiful lookout. Pack your favorite snacks, plenty of water, lip balm for post make-out session lip care, and your camera so you can capture the ultimate vista.

5. Mini Golf

Odds are you aren’t hitting up the local mini-golf course for a weekly round. But, if it’s some low-key fun you and your favorite person need, two putters await. Mini golf is basically just putting, but it can be a fun way to get out of your comfort zone and connect.

Outdoor Dates

6. Visit a Greenhouse and Pick Out a Houseplant

Both cohabitating couples and those who live separately can appreciate a new houseplant. Walking through a greenhouse you can spy all kinds of cool plants that one or both of you may never have seen before. Adding a little bit of greenery into your space is always a positive thing. It cleans your air and can bring you joy. Plus, who doesn’t love a date that involves a souvenir?

7. Take a Walking Tour of Your City

Play tourist for a day. Even if you’ve lived in the same city for years, there is always something new to see. You can download apps like Detour, Tourpal, or Urban Walks to get guided tours on your phone. Invest in a headphone splitter or go for the one-earbud-apiece approach, walk hand in hand, and explore your city together.

8. Try an Escape Room

Wasil says she frequently recommends that couples try an escape room. “It gives couples a chance to work together as a team and solve a problem”
She recommends this date specifically for “couples who just need to have some fun together outside of the kids and all the other life stressors.” We feel that! After your escape room victory, celebrate by indulging in some good food and drink at your favorite spot.

9. People Watch Your Town Square

Find a restaurant with outdoor seating facing an interesting street and plunk down. You can order some appetizers and watch the world go by. Turn your date into a playful game by guessing where people are going or what they’re up to. This can spark so many deep conversations. Weather permitting, give it a try this weekend.

Foodie Dates

10. DIY Picnic

For couples who need some time to chill out, a do-it-yourself picnic is just the ticket. Wasil says you should find a serene setting and go through some of the 36 Questions In Love. The food is really just the cherry on top of having a deep conversation with your partner.

11. Take a Cooking Class

Cooking together can be a great activity for couples who need to reconnect. You’re working together on a project and at the end you get a tasty meal to share. Taking a cooking class can be a fun way to get both of you started in the kitchen if you’re still feeling your way around meal prep and fresh ingredients.
Choose a class that focuses on a food you both love. Learning how to make your favorite dish is an enjoyable investment, and once you have that knowledge, you’ll be able to recreate it for a future date night at home!

12. Homemade Personal Pizza

Everyone loves pizza, right? Making pizza (that doesn’t start in the freezer section) at home is surprisingly easy. Follow along step-by-step with our favorite pizza recipe from The Kitchn. You can each choose your own toppings and can use your time in the kitchen getting ready for some of the best pizza you’ve ever had.

13. Find an Undiscovered Restaurant Gem

You could go to any old restaurant, but then again, why not take your weekly night out up a notch by really investing in your restaurant choice? Scour your local Yelp pages to find a little hole-in-the-wall spot you’ve never tried. You can make it into a game with your partner (a little competition never hurts). Go back and forth seeking out and choosing new, under-rated restaurants. Maybe you can even write a review together!

14. Attend a Local Brewery

Chances are there is a large brewery or microbrew pub not too far from where you live. Breweries often hold tours (some involve ticket sales that include beer samples, others are free) that will allow you to see how your favorite lager, ale, or stout is made. The same thing goes for wineries and distilleries depending on your locale. Learning about something together (while sipping on the good stuff) is always a wonderful way to connect with your favorite person.

15. Do Trivia Night at a Local Restaurant or Bar

Trivia nights, especially themed trivia nights can be a whole lot of fun. This is another date where you can invite your couple friends out as a group!

Artsy Dates

16. BYOB Painting Class

Painting classes that invite you to bring your own beverages can only be a good time. These types of classes often have instructors who will guide you as you paint a rendition of a specific piece of art. You’ll learn some new techniques and have a freshly painted canvas to hang in your personal gallery, also known as your abode.

17. Visit a Gallery or Two

While hanging your own art at home is definitely satisfying, seeing an art gallery can be moving and enlightening. Lisa Cooper, owner of Elisa Contemporary Art in New York City says a gallery date is a great idea. “It provides a fun, engaging environment and it provides insights into each person based on what artwork they respond to and why.”
As we’ve discussed before, connecting with your partner and talking about something new is a great way for long-term couples to revitalize their relationships.

18. See a Play at a Local Theater

When’s the last time you saw a play? Taking in a play (instead of a movie) can give you and your partner so much to talk about, and the joys of local theater are not to be missed. It’s also an easy way to support local businesses and your own neighbors.

19. Attend a Podcast Taping

Have a podcast that you just love? See if they’re touring or if they have open tapings. In the last few years, podcasting has really taken off and many bigger podcast productions go on tour. Seeing a taping live can be exciting and give you endless conversation starters for afterward.

20. Find a Local Music Night

Local bars and restaurants that have live music are gems when it comes to exceptional dates. Get a good meal in and enjoy a band you may never have heard before. The best way to find smaller music nights is by checking out different restaurants’ social media pages for updates that include their music lineups.

Basically Free Dates

21. Rent a Bike and Tour Your City

Not down for a lengthy walking tour? Rent (if you don’t own) bikes to see your city in a new way. Bike to a part of town you don’t get to enjoy often and just explore.

22. Volunteer Together

Giving back is good for your community and your relationship. Volunteering can really fill up your heart and is a good way for the two of you to connect over a cause you’re both passionate about. Find a local shelter and help make dinner, or call your local animal rescue to see if they need some helping hands.
Pro-tip: Many animal shelters need people to socialize with animals, which basically means playing with puppies for an hour.

23. Learn How to Give Massages

Learning to give each other massages feels lovely and can also help both of you relax. There are a bunch of different resources that can show you how to use professional techniques in the privacy of your own home. We suggest starting with Carrington College’s beginner’s guide to massage. It’s thorough and helps you get down the basics so you can help (not hurt!) your significant other.

Date Night At Home

24. Screen-Free Date Night

Turn off your phones and computers, light some candles, and get in touch with your boo. You can read to each other, chat about the future, or get giggly and tell each other jokes. Having a no-electronics rule will compel both of you to think outside the box and do something that differs from your day in, day out routine.

25. Game Night

Break out old-school Mario Kart if you have it, or turn to other nostalgic games you used to love. Check out two-player board games like Carcassone, Yinish, and Mancala, or opt for a casual game of checkers. Playing board games means engaging with both your partner and your inner child.

More Date Night Games You’ll Love:

Warm Weather Dates

26. Go Swimming

Grab your sunscreen, find a local waterpark, pool, lake, river, or wherever, and don your favorite swim suit. Swimming with your significant other is fun exercise and a satisfying way to cool off in hot weather. Getting a little sun is always wonderful, too!

27. Go Fishing

If either one of you is a seasoned angler, teaching the other to fish can be exceptionally relaxing (and potentially entertaining). Bring snacks and drinks, your fishing gear, and a permit if you need one. Fishing allows you to chat (quietly so you don’t scare the fish away!) and enjoy some time in the great outdoors.

28. Water Balloon Fight

Don’t laugh! A water balloon fight may feel a bit childish, but it can be a sweet way to cool down and have some laughs. Plus, you’ll get to talk about your epic water balloon fight for years to come.

Cool Weather Dates

29. Visit a Holiday Market

Festivals are fun all year long, but during the winter holidays they’e especially romantic. Wrap up in warming layers, nurse a cup of mulled wine, and get cozy with your one and only. Holiday markets usually have booths with trinkets that make for great in-law gifts, too.

30. Snowball Fight

If you can water balloon fight, you can snowball fight! Really, it’s one of the best kinds of fights a couple can have. Finish your snowy war with a couple of cups of hot chocolate (more on that below!) and a warm blanket to share. Curling up by a toasty fire afterward shouldn’t be missed either!

31. Build a Snowman Together

Creating together is one of the best ways to connect and get to talking with your partner without the humdrum of everyday life distracting either of you. If you have kids, this can also be a great way to have family fun all together.

32. DIY Hot Cocoa Bar

Hot cocoa is a cold weather delight. Not only will it warm you up during winter’s chill, but a little bit of sugar and cocoa will have you feeling like a cheerful couple in no time. Line up your favorite chocolate with peppermint sticks, cinnamon sticks, marshmallows, you name it! You can make your hot chocolate the exact way you like it then snuggle up for a comfy chat.
We’ve got some skinny hot chocolate ideas right here:

No matter what date you choose, spending quality time with your significant other is crucial to a healthy relationship. Making sure you have conversations about more than just the daily grind is essential for connecting on a deeper level. Take it from us, the more dates you enjoy, the happier you’ll be!

Tags Commerce, search

Fitness Advice x Motivation Sweat

Pushups And…Periods? How To Make The Most Out Of That Special Time Of The Month

Post author By Lauren Bondi
Post date December 2, 2017

With countless media platforms and increasingly accessible means of socialization, we live in an age that’s truly encouraging individuals to take advantage of their first amendment right to spark discourse on highly stigmatized topics. Yet, one such subject that continues to remain fairly hush-hush is menstruation.
As women, many of us have experienced the awkward conversational pauses and influx of rash comments that seem to accompany our periods. Living under heightened scrutiny and routinely compared to their male counterparts, it’s no surprise that professional female athletes have a tendency to leave the topic of menstruation out of the conversation when discussing training and competing.
As easy as it might be to “just ignore” them, periods are a healthy, natural, and essential process that needs to be normalized. Olympic bronze medalist Fu Yuanhui laid the foundation for a female revolution when, after her beautiful backstroke finish at the 2016 games, she explained to a reporter that being on her period may have adversely impacted her performance. Far from a simple excuse, Yuanhui was shedding light on the truth. Our strength, endurance, and hormonal balances are all prone to marked changes during that time of month.
If an Olympic swimmer obliterated much of her competition while on her period, what does that mean for the rest of us? Well, every woman experiences acute differences in her hormonal levels during menstruation and responses to these are experienced on a spectrum. Some women are capable of adhering to their resistance training protocols while others need to simplify their movements, opting for upward dog and a heating pad.
No matter what your menstrual experience entails, we’re here to help you navigate the waters (no pun intended) of Mother Nature’s monthly gift.

Is it your period, or could it be PMS?

We’re familiar with what it means to be on our periods, but what’s far less understood is how to differentiate a typical cycle from one marked by premenstrual syndrome or PMS. During the time of a woman’s period, it’s normal to experience cramping, bloating, breast tenderness, and mood changes. PMS, however, is a condition characterized by additional psychological and physiological symptoms.
PMS begins after ovulation and ends at the start of the period. It’s often accompanied by irritability, depression, fatigue, acne, and appetite changes in addition to the normal period symptoms already mentioned. And while the term PMS is thrown around fairly causally, true cases only affect some 20 to 30 percent of women. For those who do receive a diagnosis, the symptomatology tends to be severe.
If you think you may be experiencing PMS, make an appointment with a trusted healthcare provider so you can explore your options for managing the discomfort and read on for additional tips on caring for yourself throughout your cycle.

Should you exercise?

It’s okay to cut yourself a break if you’re feeling completely zonked. Remember that taking a stroll or slipping into a warm bath with essential oil–infused Epsom salts is also self-care. Taking a rest day (or two) is completely warranted if your headache and cramps have you hiding under the covers of your cozy bed.
These rest days are especially important during the second half of your cycle (days 15 to 28), which is formally known as the luteal phase. During this time, your body is gearing up for another round of menstruation. An increase in progesterone (which can actually have a depressive effect on the brain!) and decrease in performance means that a staycation with an endless supply of peppermint tea could be exactly what you’re needing. However, that being said, exercising during your period does offer a range of benefits.
Getting your body moving can actually help alleviate many characteristic and frustrating symptoms of menstruation. Sweating can actually decrease bothersome water retention and bloating while shuttling some much-desired endorphins throughout your tired body. Maintaining a consistent exercise routine also helps lessen the cramping and can decrease the flow of your period. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist and associate clinical professor at Northwestern University, shared that there’s no reason to ditch the gym entirely.
If our bodies are up for it, we can safely do the same forms of exercise during our periods that we do every other day and can look to Yuanhui for a little inspiration.

Let’s get you moving.

While it may seem counterintuitive to hit the weights, training during the first half of your cycle (days 1 to 13) and taking full advantage of your body’s follicular phase (which starts on the first day of your period and ends whenever you ovulate) can have major perks. Our periods mark the first day of our cycles, so keep in mind that, yes, we’re about to get you thinking about heading to the gym during your monthly flow.
In fact, a Swedish study found that strength-training during this timeframe yields greater power, strength, and muscle gain when compared to strength-training during any other phase of our cycles, which means lifting and pressing during your period and the time immediately following it can be pivotal in helping you reach your fitness goals.
It may also be the best time to knock out a few high-intensity interval training (HIIT) sessions (and try our at-home HIIT videos!) Hormones are low during a woman’s period, which enables our muscles to access carbohydrate stores more easily. Utilizing similar bioenergetic mechanisms as those seen in strength training, the change in hormones helps make quick fuel more accessible for metabolic breakdown—which in turn ramps up the intensity of short workouts. The lowered hormones during this time also help decrease the body’s natural temperature. As a result, this extends the time it takes to reach heat exhaustion and complete fatigue. Not only can we bust out an impressive cardio session—we might even be able to maintain that high level of intensity for a longer period of time.
Day one of your cycle might be the perfect time to take the plunge and drop in to your local boxing studio or CrossFit. Go on, show them what you’ve got.

Know when to go slow and easy.

As you make it through ovulation and return to the second half of your menstrual cycle, you may notice yourself getting thrown back into a bit of a funk. Naturally, your energy will wane with the decrease in estrogen. Reward yourself for a killer two weeks, and gradually transition into a slightly less intense workout regimen. Attempting a new squat PR may not be in the books. Instead, use the boost in stamina this week and gear up for some endurance workouts. Now is the time to lace up your shoes and hit the asphalt for a nice long run along the boardwalk. If you’re aching to hop back onto the Reformer, pilates is another great choice.
During the final week of your cycle, you may once again crave the comfort of your warm bed. But, if you can tap into the reserves and push through the exasperation, your body will thank you for the sweat sesh. Opt for gentle exercises that still get your heart rate revving. Think power vinyasa and heated ashtanga. Pairing that movement with some mindful time on the mat is the ideal prescription. Despite the discomfort and dread you might experience, remember to show your body loving-kindness for staying on top of these natural processes and maintaining your womanly wellness.
Our periods should be treated with respect, considering they’re a built-in mechanism for cleansing and beginning anew. If we’re willing to celebrate the moon, why not celebrate our ovaries while we’re at it?

How to harmonize our diets and flows.

During Mother Nature’s visit, we may find ourselves experiencing a plethora of cravings that threaten to throw us out of our healthy groove. As we know, wellness requires a blend of exercise and nutrition. Let’s talk about how to stay on top of the latter when that pint of ice cream is screaming your name. As your hormones fluctuate throughout the month, your training protocol isn’t alone in experiencing the effects. Your dietary needs shift as well! Here are a few pieces of advice to help you continue to nourish your body and counteract the period pangs…
During the week of menstruation, reach for healthy fats and an abundance of root vegetables. According to Alisa Vitti, holistic health coach and author of WomanCode, this is the best time for a boost in fatty acids. These will help buffer the changes in hormones and stabilize your mood. Salmon, avocado, raw almonds, and chia seeds are all wonderful add-ins. Many nuts and seeds are high in vitamin E, which can help prevent those debilitating menstrual migraines. Incorporating root veggies gives your body a boost of vitamin A, which, according to Vitti, can help the liver process fluctuating estrogen levels. Sweet potatoes, pumpkin, carrots, and beets are all potent players here.
If you’re interested in learning more about syncing your diet with your menstrual cycle, consider investing some time in educating yourself about balancing female hormones naturally. As we set the intention to continue honoring our bodies with compassionate exercise, we must do the same with our diets. Keep in mind that this is not about restriction. Instead, these changes are centered on sustainability and optimizing your body’s unique month-long process. If you need a piece of dark chocolate, go ahead. Just pair it with some cinnamon-dusted squash instead of finishing the entire bar.
For most of us, periods are unavoidable. Take these tips and start to listen closely to your body. Trust that your cycles are for your benefit—cramps included.
[related article_ids=1003499]

Tags organic

In Season Lifestyle

4 DIY Ideas For Your Hanukkah Party Table

Post author By Brooke Lark
Post date December 1, 2017

Happy Challah-days! The season for Hanukkah is here, and we couldn’t be more excited to light the menorah and celebrate the Festival of Lights, DIY style.
With the clock counting down and just days before the holiday begins, we thought some quick tabletop ideas were in order. If you’re anything like us, far too many party plans happen last second, but hurried planning doesn’t have to mean a hectic holiday.

In fact, quite the contrary! We’ve gathered four brilliantly simple ideas that will turn your party table into a stylish spread. In particular: a simple but gorgeous table setting, a centerpiece (or hostess gift), some seriously beautiful party favors that kids of all ages will go ga-ga over, and the sweetest Star of David snacks you ever did see.

With a quick trip to the craft store, you can make most of these ideas come together in minutes. And all of them are guaranteed to make Bubbe’s latkes look better than ever.
Here’s how to get all of these on your table, stat.

Star of David Table Settings

Sure, you can make the classic popsicle-stick craft—just like they do in kindergarten every year. But why not elevate your style with this beautiful twist?

Bring the classic symbol to your party table with this clean and simple idea for rosemary Star of David party favors. Strip fresh rosemary of most of its leaves, then glue or tie together pieces of it together to create a rustic centerpiece that looks truly stunning on blue, white, or gold place settings.
Add a linen napkin, gold utensils, and you’ve elevated your party design with modern simplicity and the organic lines of nature.

If fresh rosemary is hard to find in your neck of the woods, hit the trees in your backyard, cut some thin twigs, and create these pretty pieces from found wood. The knotty addition of real wood (or fresh rosemary) turns the usual “kids craft” into a piece you’ll be proud of.

Supplies Needed:

6 rosemary sprigs per star
Hot glue or thin twine

To Make:

To remove the leaves, gently tug from the top two-thirds of a rosemary sprig, pulling fingers along the stem. Keep a small amount of greens intact near the end of the stem. Then, hot glue (or secure with twine) three stems into a triangle. Repeat. Glue one triangle atop the other. Place atop a set table for party decor, or hang from fishing line for room decor.

Gelt Centerpiece

Top your table with a DIY centerpiece everyone will adore. If you’re not hosting but still want to get crafty, this is a perfect gift for the hostess. Added bonus: This pretty vase is full of golden gelt, so you’ll be giving a gift that’s perfect for the season.

Tuck a tiny vase into a larger one, then fill the space between the two with golden candy gelt. Add flowers, and this quick hostess idea is ready to tote to any party.
It’s the perfect centerpiece—especially if you’re entertaining families full of children! Invite the kids to sneak a piece or two at the beginning of the party, or make smaller party vases and send them home as thank you favors.
For our arrangement, we chose blue hyacinth to match with our blue-and-gold themed table, but any flowers will do.

You can purchase the vases for this project from a craft store for less than $10 total. A mini mason jar fit nicely in the center, so we opted for this low-cost option. We found our flowers and gelt at the grocery store, which made this centerpiece as convenient as it is cute.
Aren’t centerpieces (or hostess gifts) just vunderlekh?

Supplies needed:

1 large vase
1 mason jar, which fits inside the larger one
2-3 cups (about 15-20 pouches) golden candy coins
Fresh flowers

To Make:

Place smaller vase into larger vase. Fill center vase with water. Add candy coins to the section between the large and small vase. Cut flowers as needed. Arrange inside center vase.

Hanukkah Countdown Bags

Chag Sameach! What better way to celebrate the “eight crazy nights” of festival than with gift-filled countdown bags?

Inexpensive white paper bags keep this DIY craft budget-friendly, and they’re oh-so-cute. Place golden number stickers on each of the eight bags, then fill each with blue party favors and golden candy coins.
Of course, any tiny party favors will do, but since we were going for the blue-and-gold decor theme this year, we’re loving the fun blue favors—most of which could be picked up at a party store for about a quarter each. Steal of a deal!
If you’re hosting kiddos on the first day on the 25th day of Kislev (the first day of festival), this easy craft makes an especially exciting party favor. Or you can surprise your own tots with countdown bags full of goodies, shared just for the fun of it. (We’ve seen similar collections hung from clothespins on the mantle piece or arranged across a garland with tiny clips. So cute!)

But don’t let the kids have all the fun! These bags are perfect for grown-ups, too. Swap the tiny treats for gourmet chocolates, small baubles, and mini “stocking stuffers,” and you’ll keep your loved one smiling for eight days straight.

Supplies Needed:

8 (3×4″) white paper bags (available at party and craft stores)
Large gold number stickers (available at craft stores)
Blue party favors (available at party stores)
Golden chocolate coins
Staples, ribbon or double-sided tape

To Make:

Place one sticker on each of the eight bags, numbering them 1 through 8. Fill with party favors and chocolate coins. Staple to close, tie a ribbon, or simply fold over and secure with double-sided tape.

Star of David Pretzel Snacks

Whether you’re hosting the gathering this year or headed to a friend’s house to celebrate, these Star of David pretzel snacks are a party winner.
You need just three simple ingredients (one of which is sprinkles), and you’ve got yourself an adorably on-point treat that everyone will love snacking on.

For this DIY, you’ll likely need to hit two stores: the grocery store and a craft store. At the grocery store, grab pretzels. At the craft store, candy melts and sprinkles are what’s on the list. Though any sprinkle will do, we thought this was a perfect opportunity to tie in our party color theme, so went with a mix of blue and gold nonpareils.
And of course, if you’ve got a color theme going on, too, you can use any color of candy melt. They come in all the colors of the rainbow, and melted chocolate chips work here, as well.

Supplies Needed:

Parchment paper
1 bag pure white candy melts (available in the cake decor section of most craft stores)
1 bag stick pretzels
Blue and gold sprinkles

To Make:

Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large, microwave-safe bowl, melt candy melts until smooth. Dip pretzel sticks individually into candy melt, tapping gently to remove excess candy coating. Place three pretzels in a triangle, edges touching, Then build three pretzels in a triangle on top to make a Star of David. Sprinkle and allow to cool completely before removing from parchment.

Happy Hanukkah!

From our table to yours, we wish you a very wonderful holiday this year, full of warmth, joy, and the glow of prosperity.

Tags 50037196, care, hemingway

Motherhood

"Tan Mom" And The Dangers Of Forcing Lifestyle Choices On Your Children

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date December 1, 2017

In 2012, after being accused of taking her 5-year-old daughter into a local tanning booth, New Jersey mom Patricia Krentcil was charged with second-degree child endangerment.
Krentcil insisted her daughter was never exposed to the rays of the tanning booth. Though the appearance of burns on her daughter was what originally drew attention to the family, the parents swore the child had been burned while playing outside.

In an interview with an NBC affiliate in New York, Krentcil said that her daughter had been tagging along with her to the tanning booth for some time, but she’d merely been in the room, not in the tanning bed. Up until 2012, no one had taken issue with this habit, which she compared with bringing a child along on a trip the grocery store. The girl’s father believed that a teacher overheard her talking about going tanning with her mom at school but misinterpreted the conversation. Dubbed “Tan Mom” by media outlets, Krentcil was released on a $25,000 bail, and the story slowly faded out of national attention.
Five years later, however, Krentcil is back in the spotlight—as of July 2017, she’s thinking of suing her daughter’s school after the now 11-year-old allegedly came home with a sunburn. “After what they did to me, they didn’t put lotion on her? This time, I’m going after them,” she told the New York Post.

Ultimately, it’s hard to say what really went down with Krentcil and her daughter, but the story does raise interesting questions about parents who force lifestyle choices on their children. Of course, this example is extreme—most parents don’t take their little ones tanning—but that doesn’t mean we can’t all learn a lesson from this. Even parents who would never imagine endangering their child’s health are guilty of pushing them to adopt certain lifestyles.

Common Lifestyle Choices Forced on Children

Tanning may not be your thing, but you still might be guilty of forcing certain activities on your children. One of the most common examples among school-aged kids are parents who place too high of a priority on extra-curricular activities likes sports and dance.

Per Jody A. Dean, PhD, a clinical psychologist with 28 years of experience specializing in children, adolescents, and athletes: “When we talk about academics or athletics or something like dance or cheer,” there is a line between when someone “… is just being a really good parent … pushing their child to try something, to try to get better at something, to try to get skilled at something,” and “when [parents are] actually doing potential damage to the child.”
Dean describes a scenario she has experienced multiple times in her clinical practice: Parents enlist her help in convincing their child, most frequently a boy, to be more motivated in sports. These parents are certain that this child has a natural talent for a specific sport, and they feel that it would be waste for him not to play.

“The parents will go out of the room. I look at the kid, and he would say, ‘I don’t want to do this. I like science. I don’t like this sport,’” she says.
It isn’t just sports, of course. Parents may become fixated on involving their child in dance, academics, or singing. One woman, who has chosen to remain anonymous, shares that being pushed by her mother to train as a classical singer at a strict, religious university was incredibly draining.
“This led to five years of me studying under a man who demanded complete control of my life. Food, social life, everything was related back to the operation of my voice, and grooming me for a life on the opera stage,” she shares with HealthyWay.
Years later, she says she is still working through the damage caused by her experience, especially since her faith was integrated with her training.

Other parents may become fixated on their child’s appearance, according to Dean, and this can create an especially unhealthy dynamic between parent and child. Specifically, Dean has seen preteen girls wearing platform heels and short skirts at the mall with their moms, who are dressed in the same way.
“It’s strange,” says Dean. “The moms are really pushing these young girls to [dress] in a way that isn’t appropriate when you’re 9 or 10. It has a lot to do with the parent or mom who is aging and isn’t getting the attention she was getting [previously].”

Know when you’ve crossed the line.

According to Dean, it can be difficult for parents to realize they have crossed the line. It’s okay to put pressure on kids in situations where they need a little extra help staying motivated, she says, but how much is too much?

Children generally react in one of three ways when engaging in activities and hobbies, says Dean. First, there are children who have a genuine love for a certain activity: “The child is super engaged. In other words, they love to go to … practice—they possibly even love the activity outside of when they’re doing it.”
On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are children who are being pushed into something they have no interest in and do not enjoy. After two or three sessions of the activity, these children are still complaining, according to parenting resource Active for Life.

When they are doing it, they are going to look miserable, they’re going to act miserable, and they really are miserable.

Somewhere in the middle is a grey area, according to Dean: “We see parents who are trying to determine, ‘is this a child who needs a push, or have I stepped over the line?’ When the child wants to do it [but gets lazy]. We all get lazy, right?”

In terms of sports, Active for Life wrote that while “a little nudge” helps children overcome initial shyness, it’s important to respect your child’s wishes if they continually loath the activity.
“Remember that this is about your child’s long-term attitude toward sport and well being, not about you,” the article reads. “Resist insisting on participation because you want to get your money’s worth. Or because you’re worried about your child being a ‘quitter’.”

This is a great diagnostic for safe activities, like sports, dance, and academics. Yet if an activity could ever be harmful to a child, such as dieting or tanning, there is no grey area.

How Forcing Certain Lifestyles on Kids Does Harm

Although some parents may feel there is no harm in pushing their child to engage in an activity, if they are truly unhappy and uninterested, this parenting habit can do harm to the child. Convinced their child is the next great pianist or MLB player, parents may create an unhealthy dynamic with their child.
“Some parents believe the child is so talented in a specific area [and] if they don’t follow this path, if they … they don’t become incredibly successful, that’s their last chance. Which is probably never the case. [Parents] really do become obsessed with themselves,” Dean says.

In this situation, the very best move is to ask for an outside perspective. Dean recommends that parents check in with coaches, teachers, and peers for honest feedback on how their child is doing in a particular activity. Additionally, parents can watch for symptoms that their child is miserable.
“What you’re going to start seeing from these kids is absolutely no engagement in the activity,” she says. “When they are doing it, they are going to look miserable, they’re going to act miserable, and they really are miserable.”

In her clinical experience, she has witnessed children who consistently act out to get out of an activity: they pick a fight with their parents right before getting in the car, stomp back inside, and lock themselves in their room.
Dean was clear that this is different from occasional acting out or laziness, which happens with many kids who just need an extra push. She says parents should watching for regular efforts by kids to sabotage their participation in an activity by acting out.

Other children may not act out; they’ll simply show signs that they are unhappy. They aren’t interested in the sport when they’re not playing, they don’t have friends on the team or in a class, or they don’t go out of their way to learn more.
“Kids will also feel sick. They’ll say, ‘I don’t feel good. I have a stomach ache. I feel sick.’ I have a couple of patients, actually, who would get so sick before they had to do sports [that they would] vomit …” shares Dean.

Ultimately, parents should remember to put their child’s’ best interests first. A little push from parents can be great motivation for a child, according to Dean, but prioritizing your own interests over the child’s is a whole different beast.
Children are their own people, and they should never be required to emulate their parents’ lifestyles when it isn’t in their best interest.

Tags 50036741, hemingway, parenting

Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

Wisdom From Women: The Best Advice For Every Decade

Post author By Jeanne Sager
Post date December 1, 2017

Hitting the 30-year mark was surprisingly inauspicious for me. There was no lightning bolt from the sky that offered up all the wisdom that I’d been lacking in my 20s. There wasn’t even a discount at the grocery store checkout.
It’s only been as I’ve marched onward into the fourth decade (yes, do the math) of my life that I’ve started to gain any sense of what I should have done back when I was 20 or 21.
Wisdom takes time.
Fortunately for us, the world is full of people who’ve had more time than we have to figure life out.
When you hit adulthood, you quickly learn that age melts away. Friendships with women who are 10, 20, 30, or even 40 (plus) years older than you become as natural as it once was to wrinkle up your nose and declare, “Thirty? That’s so ooooooold.”
And with those friendships comes the ability to learn. To learn from mistakes. To learn from experiences.
With three and a half decades down and plenty of learning left to do, I turned to some wise women who have a few years on me and asked a simple question: What do you wish you’d known in your 20s and 30s that women like me can learn from?
Here what they shared.

Your Career

Struggling with work–life balance and thinking you need to throw in the towel? It’s okay. You can do this.
“I’m 53, and if I could have 10 seconds of hindsight things would/could have been so much different,” says Faith Metzinger. “Someone my age didn’t necessarily have the means to pursue a career that they may have wanted. I would tell my younger me that she should pursue those dreams. It is possible to be a great wife, mom, and have a profession or career you love.”
When you’re succeeding, don’t forget to celebrate, says 51-year-old Jill Robbins.
“There’s a difference between tooting your own horn and being an obnoxious a***ole bragger,” the Texas-based writer says. “It’s totally okay to be proud of your accomplishments and let others know you are proud of your accomplishments. Own your success and your happiness.”

Your Family

There’s an old quote from Leo Tolstoy that often gets pulled out by people struggling with family drama: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
If you’re trying to make your unhappy family fit the happy family mold, Zippy Sandler’s advice? Stop.
“You can’t change someone else,” 63-year-old Sandler says, “not your significant other/your child/your family/your friends. You can only change yourself and your reactions to them.”
Got an email box that’s crowded with baby shower invites taunting you about your child-free state? Wondering if you need to dive in because, “hey, everyone else is having babies,” but you’re not really sure?
Potter and florist Jill Weiner, 56, is matter-of-fact: “Having children is not mandatory. Be who you are. Conformity is not an option!”
If you do decide to have kids, on the other hand, take a page out of Patti Roche’s book.
“Don’t compare yourself to others or your children with anyone else’s children,” the 52-year-old elementary school teacher and mom of two says. “This was the one thing that made my life stressful and wasn’t good for my kids. I let others make judgments about my kids (including teachers), and I listened to them. It caused my kids pain and unnecessary “diagnosing” from other people who didn’t know more than me.”

Your Body

There’s a strength that’s expected in society. We cannot be frail. We must be fierce. But sometimes we need to give ourselves a break, Roche says.
“Feel what you feel with no reservations,” she advises. “I didn’t realize how important it is to allow yourself to be emotional. My mom passed away last year and my dad is lamenting all the unspoken and mysterious ways my mom dealt with all the rough patches in her life. Allow people to see your feelings, but also be okay with whatever a situation makes you feel.”
Body image is nothing if not complicated for millions of people. If she had her 20s and 30s to do over again, Roche says she’d tell herself, “Don’t constantly judge your looks or how you handle life. No one has it all together, so relax. Have a piece of cake and enjoy. Stay healthy but not with sacrifices that make you cranky!”
Weiner’s advice? “One piece of cheesecake will do—no need to eat the entire cake!”

Your Voice

There’s one word Robbins wishes she’d said more in her 20s and 30s.
“It’s okay to say ‘no,’” the Texas writer says. “It sounds like such basic advice (and it is) but I found ‘no’ harder to say when I was a younger woman. Whether that’s ‘no’ because someone is touching you, asking you out for coffee, asking you to put more things on your plate, to do more, connect them to someone, whatever it may be. It’s okay to say ‘no’ and not be a b***h about it or feel compelled to give an explanation as to why. Just ‘no.’ Learning to say ‘no’ is freeing and it’s something I don’t think I mastered until I was in my late 40s.”
And while you’re at it, participate, Weiner says.
“Roll up your sleeves and volunteer. Make a damn difference. There are wrongs that need righting all around us all the time, and we have a responsibility to act up for the best interest of our neighbors—be they next door or halfway around the planet.”
A final piece of advice from Sandler? Don’t forget to enjoy the ride.
“There is no happy ending, and thinking that all of the rewards come at the end means that you’ll miss the BEST part of life…the journey.”

Tags Featured, mid-tier

Life x Culture Lifestyle

White Elephant Gift Ideas

Post author By HealthyWay Finds
Post date December 1, 2017

Funny items are great for providing a laugh when they’re unwrapped. Bizarre items capture the crowd’s attention. And of course you can buy a genuinely nice gift that everyone will want to get their hands on.
If you can find an item with all three of these characteristics, you’ll have won the day. We’ve collected some of our favorite suggestions to help you secure your title as the best gift giver of them all!

1. File this one under “Bizarre but slightly useful.”

The Couch Guest Book from Knock Knock is a hilariously fancy tome in which the people sitting on your couch can record their names, thoughts, doodles, and other random scribbles. As the book fills up with illustrations and messages, it will become a book for guests to thumb through as well.

The sophisticated book measures 8.5″ by 5.5″ and has a ribbon page marker. A padded hardcover and metallic foil stamping complete the look of this absurd item. It’s perfect for an office with frequent visitors or for a home coffee table.

2. If you have a co-worker who is always complaining of being hot, throw this fun gift in the mix.

The Desktop LED Message Fan gives a message while cooling off its operator. It is powered by a USB port and has three display settings: “I’M FEELIN’ YOU,” “YA FEELIN’ ME,” and smiley faces.

This simple gift will grab people’s attention as they read the various LED messages. It also comes in handy when an office or room gets stuffy.

3. Give something adorable, practical, and nostalgic.

These tiny walkie talkies are sure to be a hit at any party. They are fully functional and can communicate with one another from up to 150 feet apart.

These powerful little devices can send a signal through walls and floors, so you never have to be incommunicado with your office mate or neighbor. These nugget-sized blasts from the past look great on a shelf and even make a great throwback children’s toy.

4. The future is here, and you can give it to your friends, family, or co-workers.

These prism glasses are the perfect white elephant gift. They’re bizarre and funny-looking, but they also serve a very practical purpose.

These affordable, futuristic glasses allow a tired couch potato to watch TV fully reclined. That’s right! We no longer have to prop ourselves upright to binge watch. Simply lie back, put on the glasses, and watch your favorite TV show reflected squarely into your view. Everyone at your gathering will want to take a look through these peepers. The only hard part will be holding onto them as others try to steal this gift away.

5. Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter—take it from me.

This handmade, artisanal mermaid tail (mermaid tails can be artisanal, right?) is sure to be a big hit—especially for those who get chilly easily. The knitted tail will keep its recipient warm while transforming them into a colorful mer-person.

It works great for movie nights, lounging, sleepovers, or more casual (and thermostat-challenged) office environments. You don’t have to be a super-fan of The Little Mermaid to want this cozy tail for yourself. Just be sure to take it off before you try to walk anywhere.

6. Who says ‘90s technology is obsolete?

These floppy disk coasters prove that there’s still space for slower, more fragile digital storage devices in our lives. They won’t fit in a modern computer, of course, but they can protect a coffee table from unsightly condensation rings.

This throwback to a couple decades ago comes with six silicone floppy disk coasters in a variety of colors that will remind some people of elementary school and others of their first jobs. Younger participants may need a brief explanation of the contraption we once used and loved.

7. You might cripple your office’s productivity with this popular game, but it’ll improve morale.

Desktop bags will be an instant hit among procrastinating co-workers. It can be played solo or in teams, and it will help stave off boredom and get the creative juices flowing.

The set comes with four mini bean bags and one board with a hole in it. See who has the best motor skills in your office with this addictive little game.

8. Give your office misanthrope the gift that says everything for them.

A “Now You May Speak” coffee mug is the perfect way for grumps and grouches to display their cantankerousness without opening their mouths. As they progress through their morning coffee, the cup will let others know how close they are to becoming approachable.

This mug communicates a love for coffee and an inability to function without it. It’s also a great way to signal to coworkers that you’ve just arrived and could use a little more time before entertaining any requests for help.

9. The most sought-after item in your home or office might just be a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream.

Which would make this Ben & Jerry’s Euphori-Lock the second most valuable item in the joint. Never worry about dessert theft again with this high-tech, specialized pint locker.

This functioning lock comes with a pre-assigned three-digit combination and a twist-lock installation. Of course, as the person giving this gift, you might glance at that super-secret combination just in case you get the munchies one day in the future.

10. This little projector packs a big punch.

Parents will jump at the chance to grab this rotating night light projector. Anyone else who loves seeing the night sky projected throughout a room will too.

This gadget is perfect for a baby or child’s room, but it’s also a great mood-setter for a party. For those who like to wind down before bed at night, it offers a simple way to relax with some ambience. The gentle but inspiring night sky can make any room more peaceful.

11. Sometimes you just want to bring a super-weird item for a white elephant gift exchange.

This cat pillow case really does the trick in those instances. While most participants will try to avoid the stylish kitty, there will almost certainly be a cat person who can’t live without it.

And why wouldn’t they swap or steal in order to take kitty home? The pillowcase is a soft 50-percent cotton, 50-percent polyester blend that’s machine-washable. It fits most standard size throw pillows and is a beauty to behold.

12. When someone’s watching four hours of Mindhunter or Stranger Things, they don’t want to end up haggard in the end.

That’s why this binge-watching beauty kit will be such a hit. It has 21 items to usher someone through the daunting task of staying current during the new Golden Age of Television.

There are lotions and face masks to care for the skin and a decision-making coin that answers the difficult question, “Should I stay or should I go to bed?” This gift will gets lots of laughs, but it’s as practical as anything else. Of course it should go without saying that it includes a pair of ultra-comfy fuzzy socks.

13. Make the Harry Potter fans in your gift exchange very happy.

This awesome Muggles mug is simple but irresistible. Whoever ends up with it will have a reminder each morning that even though not everyone is magic, some of us are.

Choose between two sizes—11 or 15 ounces. The minimalist art and tongue-in-cheek sentiment will spread smiles and camaraderie among all the office Rowling fans.

14. Give something warm now that winter is coming.

Sriracha keychains ensure that their owners will always be packing a little heat. This adorable (but perfectly functional) keychain allows someone to bring their favorite sauce to any restaurant or dinner party.

The set comes with two bottles with clips (sauce sold separately). These can be used for their intended purpose or filled with lotion or creams.

15. It’s time to start preparing for dry skin and icy roads.

This essential winter kit has a little bit of everything to make the cold weather more bearable. For your car, there’s a mini ice scraper. For your home, there are boot wipes to clean off snow.

The pack also has cuticle oil, lip balm, a reusable hot pack, and much more. Everything comes packed neatly in a “Frozen AF” clutch. Cool.

Tags Commerce, Holiday Gift Guide