Month: January 2018

Categories
Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

Foods To Avoid During Pregnancy

Coffee. Cheese. Cold cuts. The list of foods to avoid during pregnancy seems to go on and on, and it can seem like all our favorites are suddenly off the table just when we’re feeling like we could really use some comfort food.
But how many of the foods that one woman in your moms-to-be Facebook group swears you need to trash are legitimate no-nos, and how many foods do pregnant women end up avoiding due to wives’ tales and bad science? Do you really need to clean out your entire fridge and start over?
You’ve got just nine months of pregnancy (give or take), so let’s dive in and get some answers!

What’s off the menu?

You’ve already said Bye bye cute little two-door car, hello mom van. And you’re sharing your body with a growing human. So what else do you have to change?
Let’s start with the good news, shall we? “Truly, the list of foods that are big no-nos is pretty short,” says Anita Somani, MD, an OB-GYN with Comprehensive Women’s Care at OhioHealth Riverside Methodist Hospital in Columbus, Ohio.
The following foods should be avoided—that is, completely cut out of your diet—when pregnant, according to Somani:

  1. Alcohol

    2. Studies on how much alcohol will hurt a growing fetus send moms-to-be mixed signals, but the official stance of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) leaves nothing up to interpretation.
    The official ACOG statement warns, “Even moderate alcohol use during pregnancy can cause lifelong problems with a child’s learning and behavior. Any amount is risky for women who are pregnant or trying to become pregnant. All types of alcohol are harmful, including beer and wine.”
    Drinking alcohol during pregnancy has been linked to fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) in infants, a condition that leads to problems with brain development, lower-than-average height and weight, smaller-than-normal head size, and abnormal facial features. Conflicting headlines and studies aside, ACOG’s ruling notes, “Birth defects related to alcohol are 100 percent preventable by not drinking during pregnancy.”

  2. Raw Meat, Raw Fish, Deli Meat, and Unpasteurized Cheese

    3. Pregnant women are 13 times more likely to contract listeriosis, a food-borne illness caused by the listeria bacterium. According to ACOG, the disease can cause miscarriage, preterm labor, and stillbirth, as well as neonatal listeriosis and possible neonatal death.
    Your favorite cold cuts, raw meats, and unpasteurized cheeses all make the list of foods with a high risk of listeria contamination—hence the suggestion that you steer clear. It’s also recommended you keep track of Food and Drug Administration (FDA) food recalls, as some fresh produce has been linked to listeriosis outbreaks in recent years. You can visit the FDA’s site regularly or sign up for recall warnings to be sent right in your email inbox.

  3. Fish That Are High in Mercury

    4. Mackerel, swordfish, marlin, ahi tuna, shark, tilefish, and orange roughy make the list of no-nos from the FDA, as mercury is considered a neurotoxin that can harm unborn babies.


According to the Environmental Protection Agency, exposure to mercury in the womb can “adversely affect unborn infants’ growing brains and nervous systems.” Because they’re still developing, a fetus’ systems are also more vulnerable to the effects of mercury than an adult’s would be.

Stay the course or buckle in for change?

So, if there aren’t that many foods you really need to avoid during pregnancy, you can just keep on eating the way you did when you were eating for one, right? Not so fast. Step away from the junk food aisle for a second and listen up.
The biggest dietary changes you should commit to aren’t necessarily in types of foods at all, Somani says, but in how much (or how little) a woman should be consuming during the nine-plus months she’s carrying her baby. A woman’s pre-pregnancy weight can affect her own health, so it only stands to reason that it can affect her pregnancy, from increasing her chances of developing gestational diabetes to upping her risk of preeclampsia, a pregnancy-related blood pressure disorder.
Your OB-GYN will likely ask you to hop on the scale early on, not only to record your weight for monitoring purposes, but to determine your nutrition plan for the entirety of your pregnancy. They may start talking goal weight gain…or even weight loss.
“If someone is overweight, we encourage them to lose at least 10 percent of their body weight to improve fertility, decrease the risk of diabetes and hypertension and stillbirth,” Somani says. “If someone is underweight, we encourage them to gain weight or eat more calories during pregnancy to decrease growth restriction in the fetus.”
If your pre-pregnancy weight was within healthy limits, you’re ahead of the game. “There is less risk of neural tube defects and growth issues,” Somani says.
For women in this boat, the big diet changes will depend on pre-pregnancy proclivities. If you drank alcohol, lunched on sushi or beef tartare, dined on unpasteurized cheese, or spent a lot of time bellying up to the deli for sliced cold cuts, get ready to give things up.
Otherwise, ACOG recommends moms-to-be eat a well-balanced diet that consists of protein, carbohydrates, and fats, says Yves-Richard Dole, MD, an OB-GYN at Mercy in Baltimore. In general, a mom with a body mass index (BMI) that’s considered “normal” should shoot for weight gain of about 25 to 35 pounds over the course of the pregnancy, he adds.

Controlled Cravings

Although some foods are strictly off the menu, there are others that pregnant women are told to avoid when possible but don’t have to eliminate entirely.
Seafood, for example, may be on the must-avoid list when it’s served raw or if it’s high in mercury, but ACOG has recently loosened up its rulings on grabbing your dinner from the sea. These days, the group allows for moms-to-be to eat two to three servings (8 to 12 ounces) a week of a long list of fish, including fresh-water trout, catfish, cod, and even clams and shrimp. Other fish, such as albacore tuna or monkfish, get the thumbs up if they’re limited to 6 ounces per week.
You may even want to work fish into your diet if you aren’t otherwise eating it, Somani says—at least the “good” kinds.
“Fish that are high in omega-3 fatty acids … should be eaten in pregnancy,” she notes, because those omega-3s are good for babies’ development. You may even notice they’re one of the nutrients in a variety of prenatal vitamins.
Likewise, avoiding unpasteurized cheeses doesn’t mean all cheeses make the “foods to avoid during pregnancy” list. Soft cheeses, such as feta, brie, and queso fresco, are sometimes pasteurized—you just need to check the packaging. Hard cheeses, such as cheddar, gouda, and parmesan, are almost always pasteurized, and semi-soft cheeses, like mozzarella, are typically in the clear as well.
And while your BFF may have been told no coffee or other caffeinated beverages during her pregnancy, many doctors allow for a little morning pick-me-up once you’re in your second trimester.
“Most experts state that consuming fewer than 200 mg of caffeine (one 12-ounce cup of coffee) a day during pregnancy is safe,” Somani says.
Also allowed in limited doses? Giving in to your cravings. While “eating for two” is a dangerous myth that can result in too much weight gain, Dole says there’s no reason you can’t have a family member or partner supply you with a steady stock of the foods your body is crying out for.
“Ice cream, chocolate, and french fries are common cravings that can be indulged in moderation,” he says.
On the other hand, if you’re craving dirt, chalk, sand, toothpaste, or other non-edibles, you may be struggling with a pregnancy-related condition called pica. Skip the sampling and call your healthcare provider, Dole warns.
Moms-to-be have long been warned against consuming peanuts during pregnancy, but you may find your OB-GYN giving you the all-clear to pop a can of Planters and chow down. While nut allergies have tripled in recent years, a study published in JAMA Pediatrics suggests the risk of your child developing a peanut allergy dips if you eat nuts while they’re in utero. Even better: The more peanuts and tree nuts a (non-allergic) mom ate, the lower her child’s risk, according to the study’s findings.
“Peanuts have been discouraged in the past, but now we are encouraging them to reduce the risk of nut allergies in the fetus,” Somani explains.

Good Eating

So you know what not to eat during pregnancy. You know what to eat only sometimes during pregnancy. What about all the foods you should be eating throughout your nine months?
Aside from eating a balanced diet, are there any specific foods you should be piling onto your plate? Absolutely, experts say.
If you aren’t already doing so, pregnancy is the time to hike your folic acid intake to help your fetus develop and grow. Studies have found that folate deficiency is not only very common in women of childbearing age, but it has been associated with abnormalities like anemia and peripheral neuropathy in moms-to-be and congenital abnormalities in fetuses.
The good news: Foods such as spinach, strawberries, and citrus fruits are rich in folates, Somani says, and they are “critical to preventing neural tube defects.” It’s suggested that women increase their folic acid intake to somewhere between 400 and 800 micrograms per day during pregnancy, although your OB-GYN will be able to nail down just how much you should be ingesting via food sources as opposed to vitamins and supplements.
Calcium is another nutrient that can’t be ignored during pregnancy, whether it’s consumed via the “safe” cheeses, slugging down glasses of milk to fight that pregnancy heartburn, or eating (moderate amounts of) ice cream.
Doctors still recommend taking a prenatal vitamin starting as early as possible. If you’re not pregnant yet but think it’s time to start trying to conceive, your doctor may even suggest you start with prenatal vitamins now.
“The critical period of neural tube development is in the first trimester—often before a woman recognizes she is pregnant, and that’s where preconception folic acid is so important,” Somani points out.

Keep it going.

Once baby arrives, the diet pressure is off…sort of. Of course, nourishing, well-balanced meals are a part of being a healthy mom who can juggle motherhood and everything else life throws at you. If you’re formula feeding, you can re-introduce all of the forbidden foods, provided you’re not sharing them with baby!
If you’ve opted to breastfeed, on the other hand, you will still need to abide by some of your pregnancy dietary restrictions, Dole says. “Eating well-balanced meals ensures an adequate milk supply, and it prevents mom from becoming chronically fatigued from nutritional deficiencies,” he notes. “Continuing prenatal vitamins is recommended to ensure an adequate supply of vitamins and minerals.”
Caffeine can pass through breast milk, so Dole suggests keeping your coffee intake to a minimum, and mercury is still a risk, so seafood rules remain the same during breastfeeding as they were in pregnancy. Your child’s pediatrician may also have other recommendations for your diet based on any health issues baby is exhibiting (such as allergic reactions).
But even breastfeeding moms get a break from the pregnancy-centric eating plan. The good news for breastfeeding moms?
“Cravings for sushi, deli meats and sandwiches, and that favorite glass of wine can now be satisfied,” Dole says. And breastfeeding can help the body burn anywhere from 300 to 500 calories a day, so it may help you shed some baby weight if that’s one of your postpartum goals.
Moms who are breastfeeding do still need to be wary of how much alcohol they consume and when, Dole warns. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends against mixing breastfeeding and alcohol, but its guidelines note that if a woman does choose to imbibe, she should do so “after she has nursed or expressed milk rather than before, and allow at least 2 hours per drink before the next breastfeeding or pumping session.”
The AAP also warns against excessive drinking, as “there are concerns about long-term, repeated exposures of infants to alcohol via mother’s milk,” and “chronic consumption of alcohol may also reduce milk production.”

Categories
Wellbeing

The Pink Tax: Why Women Pay More Than Men For Similar Products

Being a woman is pricey. Besides all the products that only women are told they need (think bras, jewelry, and cosmetics), it turns out they have the odds stacked against them when it comes to saving money on any product.
The truth is, products that are targeted towards women are often more expensive than products for men…even when the products are nearly identical. Women are charged more for the same stuff.
If you think this is a bunch of sexist bologna, you’re not alone. Read on to find out why the price gouging occurs, the ways sellers target women, the products women will pay the most for…and how they can save money in spite of this.

The Pink Tax

Frustrated by higher prices, ladies? Well, you can thank a little something called the “Pink Tax.” According to USA Today, the Pink Tax refers to the price markup for merchandise that is primarily made for women. Odds are that products geared toward women, as opposed to those that are gender-neutral or “made for men,” will be more expensive.
HealthyWay
In 2015, the New York Department of Consumer Affairs conducted an analysis of 794 products across five industries. They found that, on average, “women’s products cost 7 percent more than similar products for men.”
The study even lays out an almost-laughable Pink Tax through the ages. As children, girls’ toys are 7 percent more expensive than boys’. Their clothes, meanwhile, cost 4 percent more, and when they grow up, that number rises to 8. They’ll also pay 13 percent more than men for personal care items, and when they reach their wonder years, “women pay 8 percent more for senior/home health care products.”
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In some cases, companies actually do have to spend more money to develop specialized products for women. But other times, they’re just being greedy, and the female consumer is conditioned to overlook it, says Melissa Archpru Akaka, an assistant professor of marketing at the University of Denver.
“The cost of production might be similar to men’s products, such as razors, but because women are used to paying more for their specialized products, they may be less price sensitive and more willing to pay higher prices,” she explains. “In this case, companies are positioning these products as specialized products for women to increase profit margins.”

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On Jet.com (as of January 2018), a small Lady Speed Stick runs for .83/oz while Speed Stick’s smallest men’s deodorant runs for .39/oz. (image via Nicolish)

Srdan Zdravkovic, an associate professor of marketing at Bryant University, agrees that manufacturers do hike up the costs of their products simply because they can. But he also believes that women can do something about it.
“The difference in prices charged is probably driven by the fact that the female consumer is willing and able to spend more on the equivalent products,” he says. “In other words, the price of any product or service is somewhere between the cost of the product … and the maximum price consumers are willing the spend on the product … . If the female consumer segment refused to pay higher prices for these goods … the price [of the goods] would drop.”

Buyer Beware: Sneaky Tactics Marketing Companies Use

Marketing companies spend big bucks to grab the consumer’s attention. Often, this is done through specific techniques that are designed to attract one gender’s eye as opposed to the other.
The next time you take a trip to your local superstore, look down the aisles that sell hygiene products. Chances are you can tell if you’re looking at the men’s aisle or the women’s just by looking at the colors of the products. Soft tones for women, bold tones for men. Pinks and purples for women, blues and blacks for men.
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But a lot more goes into marketing merchandise than just a color scheme. “To assume that women are targeted only by using female-friendly colors would ignore the number of other effective strategies marketers are using to appeal to this important consumer segment,” says Zdravkovic.
“Product and service providers target women with a number of things,” he continues. “Some include the quality of the good … , relevant offerings, appropriate packaging that appeals to women, partnership with female-friendly endorsers, convenient access to the product, and association with female-friendly causes.”

Women, says Zdravkovic, usually respond to socially responsible and environmentally-friendly marketing messages better than men. Marketing companies use this knowledge to their advantage and often feature packaging and causes that appeal to women in this way.
“… using pinks and purples [to attract the female consumer] could be perceived as sexist today,” says Zdravkovic. “In addition to responding emotionally to colors, women’s emotions can be influenced by symbols associated with the product. Shape of packaging has to be functional … [, and the] package has to be easy to store. Attractive shapes and symbols help extend the time women—or men—pay attention to our products in the store.”
HealthyWay
Marketers don’t merely target women, either, but specific groups of women. And depending on the target group—professional women, moms, athletic women—the message may change.

Products That Get the Upcharge

As mentioned before, the New York DCA study showed that women see higher prices for products throughout their lives. Want specifics?
Let’s start with childhood: Toys, bookbags, bikes, scooters, and even helmets marketed to girls cost more than the same types of products that target boys.
HealthyWay
In adulthood, women’s dress pants cost six percent more than men’s do; their dress shirts cost 13 percent more; their regular shirts, 15 percent more; their jeans, 10 percent; their socks, 3 percent; their underwear, a whopping 25 percent.

Some call this [the] ‘shrink it and pink it’ strategy—make it smaller for women but charge premium price for it.

Finally, adult diapers cost women two percent more than they cost men.
For good measure, here are a few other products the study found women pay more for:

  • Shampoo and conditioner
  • Razors
  • Lotion
  • Deodorant
  • Body wash
  • Clothing
  • Canes
  • Sports equipment

How do companies decide what they are going to charge more for? The answer depends on many different variables.
“Perhaps women are looking for outcomes that are very different from men—[like a] wrinkle-free, smooth face—and ingredients in … products that achieve that outcome are more expensive than ingredients in men’s products that only call for increased moisture of the face,” says Zdravkovic. “Higher cost of goods sold lead to higher prices if we want to achieve similar profit margins for men’s and women’s products.”

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The Feminine Files/Pinterest

“On the other hand,” he continues, “many of the female products are actually smaller and use less material than equivalent male products, so the cost of goods sold is actually less for female products, but they end up being charged more. Some call this [the] ‘shrink it and pink it’ strategy—make it smaller for women but charge premium price for it.”

Why are women charged more when they make less?

And just when you thought women had it bad, this little bit of information makes it worse: The gender pay gap is a very real thing.
HealthyWay
On average, a woman brings in 79 cents for every dollar a man makes. Add the Pink Tax, and that’s quite a constraint: Not only is there a gap in wages between genders, there’s a gap between wage and prices for women.
Why would companies kick women when they’re already down by hiking up their prices?
“… I don’t think there is one blanket reason this occurs,” says Akaka. “I’m also not sure that companies are conscientiously pricing their products with the wage gap in mind. Companies are continually trying to find ways to increase profitability and sometimes are not focused on the social issues related to their practices.”
HealthyWay
Akaka believes that by bringing attention to the Pink Tax, women can draw eyes to the wage gap, as well.
“This situation is a symptom of a more systemic problem,” says Akaka. “It seems the underlying issue for those concerned with the ‘Pink Tax’ continues to be tied to valuation of women’s work in the workforce. Companies will probably continue to price based on profit margins and what they believe target markets will pay for particular products. This occurs with products that cross genders, as well; however, increasing awareness about the ‘Pink Tax’ draws attention to the wage discrepancy between men and women, which is the crux of the issue and should definitely receive more attention.”

How to Save Money

It would be unfair for a woman to pay more for her products simply because she has no choice. But the sad truth is that this situation happens all the time.
The easiest way to avoid this unfair upcharge is to purchase the male versions of the products, says Akaka. But she also encourages women to take a stand, particularly when they feel the weight of the gender wage gap.
HealthyWay
“If women feel strongly about the discrepancy between costs and wages, they can voice their concerns in more public areas and collaborate with other women to initiate change,” Akaka says.
You may not feel like you have much power when it comes to the Pink Tax, but you do. Companies hear you when their bottom line takes a hit. So go ahead and buy the blue razor, grab the body wash that has a manly scent, and throw caution to the wind when it comes to buying lotion in a bottle that isn’t covered in flowers. Tell your friends about it; while you’re at it, tell the world about it. Not only will the products cost less and likely work just as well as what you’re used to, but you’ll possibly start the change that ends the Pink Tax for good.

Categories
Life x Culture Lifestyle

This Is How You Can Help Fight Human Trafficking

Almost 21 million people. It’s a shocking number, even more so when you realize it represents how many victims of human trafficking there are in the world today. At least a quarter of those are children, innocent kids forced into modern-day slavery.
In a nutshell? People are trapped, forced to work or have sex (or both) against their will, and often have no means of escape.
This is their life every day. Across the globe and right here in America, human trafficking statistics are on the rise. From 2015 to 2016 alone, there was a 35 percent jump in reported cases.  
But for all the bad news, there’s a light in the dark. You don’t have to go back to college, take criminal justice courses, or join the local police department’s special victims unit to help.

Be a savvy buyer.

You already focus on buying healthy fruits and veggies and reading food labels. But do you know if the blueberries in your morning smoothie were picked by a child who’s being refused the right to attend school and have a normal childhood? If they’re coming from Argentina, they might be!
Check out the U.S. Department of Labor’s list of goods produced by child and forced labor in countries around the world before you hit the store. Refusing to buy those products takes money out of the pockets of traffickers and makes it less lucrative for them to enslave people.

Ask questions.

Those semi-weekly massages may be a crucial (and let’s face it, amazing) part of your complete wellness routine, but have you checked with your massage therapist to make sure she’s digging into your tight glutes because she wants to…not because she has to?
Just this past November, massage parlors outside of Raleigh, North Carolina, and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, made headlines for illegal trafficking busts. And it’s no coincidence: Massage parlors, farms, and sweatshop-type factories are highest on the list of place where you’re likely to find someone being trafficked.
Another hot spot is airports, as victimized people are often shuttled back and forth by their traffickers via airplanes, moved from their homes to far-flung places where they’re forced to work.
Your to-do: Pay attention and ask questions…during your massage or while you’re waiting for your flight.
Not sure what to look for? The U.S. State Department offers these potential red flags that someone is being exploited:

  • Living with employer
  • Poor living conditions
  • Multiple people in cramped space
  • Inability to speak to individual alone
  • Answers appear to be scripted and rehearsed
  • Employer is holding identity documents
  • Signs of physical abuse
  • Submissive or fearful
  • Unpaid or paid very little
  • Under 18 and in prostitution

If something’s not right, follow the adage “if you see something, say something.” You can call 911 or the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 888-373-7888. The latter is toll-free and open 24 hours, with people available to speak a number of languages to help answer questions.

Get on board.

Write a check. Call your local member of Congress and ask them to vote on important trafficking issues.
Or roll up your sleeves and lend a hand.
There are hundreds of non-profits across the country doing work to cut down on human trafficking, be it through work with kids or adults. Some organizations, such as Annie Cannons, address the aftermath for rescued victims, providing job training and a soft landing as they try to re-enter everyday life.
Other groups don’t even have trafficking as a focus but work to prevent it nonetheless.
Because statistics show that one out of six endangered runaways reported to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children were likely child sex-trafficking victims, work with kids is especially vital in fighting traffickers in America. Organizations that work with at-risk teens, for example, can encourage them to stay in school and provide them healthy alternatives to risky behavior, which may keep them from ending up in a trafficker’s eyeline.
Every little bit makes a difference.
 

HealthyWay
Sources: International Labour Organization and Polaris Project

Categories
Motherhood

Navigating The World Of Mom Cliques

Becoming a mom at 22 really turned my social life upside down. I was among the first of my friends to become a mom, which meant that my life and theirs were suddenly drastically different.
While many of my friends were still going out in the evenings, my schedule was suddenly very full with balancing life with the newborn and working a job with unusual hours I picked up because we couldn’t afford childcare.
I was technically a working mom, but my schedule resembled that of stay-at-home mom since I was working overnights and weekends. It made sense to try to get in with a group of mom friends, but I was surprised to find that it wasn’t that simple. There appeared to be rules and guidelines that, although unspoken, excluded certain kinds of mothers.
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I found that it didn’t matter what my schedule looked like: Being a working mom excluded me from many stay-at-home mom circles. In most cases, it was unintentional, with their get-togethers scheduled during my working hours. There were times, however, when it was clear that they disagreed with my lifestyle, with one mother talking of the “sacrifices” she made to stay home full-time, another of how staying at home was the best choice for all families, and another offering unsolicited budgeting advice so I could quit my job.
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And then there were exclusions that were strangely specific. I noticed that some moms grouped together because of the way they chose to discipline their kids. Others were friends because they ate organic food and had natural childbirths. It was difficult to find a place where I felt I fit in. It was strange as a person who was new to the world of motherhood to see that social circles were forming just like they had in high school.

The World of Mom Cliques

It’s natural to gravitate towards other people who share your common interests, according to licensed clinical social worker Kimberly Hershenson, who specializes in working with mothers coping with various motherhood issues.
“Mom cliques are a way for women to feel united in their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs,” she says. “Being a mom can be difficult, so it’s natural to want to seek out like-minded people who understand what you’re going through.”

… some moms can be kind of apprehensive or distant or cold. I think there is insecurity that is always there.

For the most part, groups of moms that are friends are just that. They’re just groups who have formed because their kids are in school together or they have common interests. Many mom groups are open to new members—they’re not intentionally exclusive, according to Lynn Zakeri, a licensed clinical social worker who practices in the Chicago area.
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However, some groups do form on a foundation of exclusion. It all comes back to insecurity, says Nicole Zangara, a licensed clinical social worker and author of Surviving Female Friendships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. She believes exclusive groups form as a kind of buffer for these insecurities. Those insecurities create competition between moms who make different choices about how they parent.

“I find that, unless a mom or a woman has friends that she’s known, when she tries to meet other moms, some moms can be kind of apprehensive or distant or cold,” she explains. “I think there is insecurity that is always there.”

Are all mom cliques bad?

I chatted with other moms who, like me, found themselves looking for friends once they become a mother. We all agreed that there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be included and being happy when you found a group of people who make you feel that you belong.
For this reason, a few of the moms said that their experience with cliques was largely positive. It was their chance to find companionship and support while they adjusted to their lives as a brand-new mom.

You gravitate toward people you have something in common with.

“I have friends that all became moms around the same time, and we have kept in touch all these years,” shares mom of two Kristel Acevedo. “We have a group text that we call ‘The Mommy Text.’ Sometimes the text gets annoying (because hello, group text!), but for the most part, it’s such an encouraging thing for me and all of us.”
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Dawn Alcott describes a similar experience, admitting that her mom clique isn’t all that stereotypical because it isn’t exclusive. They’re a group of moms who met while they were all serving on the PTA board at her kids’ school. She considers these moms to be her very best friends and says they’ve been through a lot together, but they are also always open to new members.
”I don’t think cliques are inherently bad,” she says. “You gravitate toward people you have something in common with. It’s not like we exclude others.”

When Good Cliques Go Bad

Although many moms I spoke with cited positive experiences with cliques, the same argument continued to arise. Most of the women, even those who had positive experiences in cliques, didn’t believe a clique is still a clique if it is inclusive. Once everyone and anyone is allowed, a group actually loses its title as a clique.

I do see a few groups that are, well, the same kind of people I saw forming groups like that in junior high.

The moms I spoke with were right. When it comes to the textbook definition of a clique, it has to be exclusive, and there have to be some spoken or unspoken rules or social norms. A group of moms who connect over common interests is not necessarily a clique, according to Hershenson; some friendships simply form because people share opinions, hobbies, or are located in the same area.

Lydia Markoff is one who shares how she found her crowd after becoming a mom. It’s a group of friends she’s met through the relationships her children formed, but she is quick to admit that there are other kinds of cliques in her community.
“I guess we kind of do have a mom clique, but it’s not exclusive,” she says. “I do see a few groups that are, well, the same kind of people I saw forming groups like that in junior high … insular, exclusive, and catty about it.”
It doesn’t bother Markoff much. She simply smiles and waves at the women in these groups, keeping her distance. Other moms, however, haven’t been able to ignore the cliques in their schools and towns.

“I’ve never felt completely comfortable in any mom groups,” shares Sharon Van Epps, a writer and mom of teens. “There are mom cliques for my kids’ sports teams, and I don’t fit in and it’s hard. Everyone’s very nice, but I don’t have the time to invest to try to work my way in in a more meaningful way.”
Epps certainly isn’t alone. Olivia Christensen, a mom of three, said her exclusion was less direct—it just kind of happened. After becoming a mom, she sought out others in her city through her local Mothers of Preschoolers, but she never quite felt she belonged. Everyone was friendly, but she felt like she was disrupting a group of close friends who were simply being kind because they were polite, not because they were looking for new friends.
HealthyWay
It may be hard to imagine, but some mom cliques go beyond simply snubbing others. Some groups of moms, bound together by common interests, go the extra mile and actively work against other moms to make their lives miserable. The most common story I heard was one of ghosting: women previously at home in a clique suddenly learning that they were no longer welcome.
“I was ghosted by the self-appointed leader of the mom group, and it was surprisingly painful,” confesses Kimberly McGee. “Felt like I was 12 again and had lost the tools I had gained through previous (teenage) experiences. Why does it feel so personal? I felt very immature for feeling so rejected.”
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Jody Allard, a mom of seven, shares that her experience with mom cliques has never been positive. Even when she felt she belonged to a clique, she was uncomfortable with the exclusive nature of these groups and eventually left; she was then was targeted for removing herself from the group.

Navigating the World of Mom Cliques

Unfortunately, it seems that rejection and exclusion is a part of looking for new friends. However, Hershenson advises moms looking for friends to avoid focusing on rejection or exclusion and instead focus on what they’re looking for in friendships.
HealthyWay
“It’s important to recognize what you want out of a friendship and what doesn’t work for you,” she says. “If you value close relationships that are supportive and free from drama, keep this in mind when you start focusing on feeling left out: Surrounding yourself with negativity will only make you feel worse, so focus on the positivity you do have in your life.”
Additionally, if you happen to have a rich social life, be careful to watch for others who may feel lonely or excluded. Try to remember what you first felt like as a mom looking for a way to connect with others.
As for me? I gave up on finding a single of group of friends to call my own. I realized that what I needed wasn’t a squad—it was a couple of intimate relationships with people who understood what I was going through. So I reconnected with a friend from college, joined a book club, and kept myself open to the possibility of building friendships with people who live lives that are different from mine.

Categories
Conscious Beauty Lifestyle

How To Get In On The Clean Beauty Movement (And Why It's Worth The Effort)

Disclaimer: Just so you know, if you order an item through one of our posts, we may get a small share of the sale.

If you’ve glanced at a beauty blog or your favorite YouTube beauty guru in the last couple of months, we’re sure you’ve noticed the prevalence of so-called natural or green beauty brands. The trend of clean beauty is easy to get behind, but a lot more goes into it than you may think.

What is clean beauty?

The clean beauty movement’s defining feature is a commitment to being more discerning about the many products you put on your skin every day. It usually assumes that natural (in this case meaning not lab-made or synthetic) ingredients are better for you and that you should put in the research to find out what you’re buying and using, steering clear of the synthetic stuff. Ideally, clean beauty products exclude any known and potential toxins—providing you with options that pose the least possible safety risk.
Still, there’s no one concrete definition of clean beauty. You can find brands across the board that use vague terms that are more clean-beauty marketing than offering the healthiest product. Frustrating, we know! Clean beauty can also mean different things to different people, making it hard to pin down and adhere to a single interpretation.

Clean Beauty and Marketing

The use of certain words in describing products sold in the United States is regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). But the FDA doesn’t have a definition for every word out there, and it can’t enforce standards in certain cases. For example, for the word “organic” to be used in a product description, the product must comply with both U.S. Department of Agriculture organic regulations and FDA labeling requirements. Use of the word “natural,” however, does not have to adhere to any regulations.
Using words and phrases that aren’t regulated and generally making any old product seem like the best, greenest pick is called greenwashing. The best way to avoid greenwashing is by getting your hands dirty and researching both the company and the individual product before you make a purchase. In short—learning to read labels is key to a successful clean beauty routine.

Ingredients You’ll Want to Avoid

Getting into the green beauty scene means you’re going to need to get comfortable reading labels and searching out scientific names. It’s a bit complicated if you aren’t used to it, but after a while you’ll get the hang of things. These are four heavy-hitter ingredients you may want may want to banish from your beauty routine.

Parabens

Parabens are used to preserve cosmetics and other products we come in contact with every day. These chemical substances are used in cosmetics to decrease the chance that your favorite liquid lipstick, for example, will become moldy in the tube. There is quite a lot of debate around whether parabens or other preservatives are safe for human contact and consumption. The FDA allows paraben use in cosmetics because there have not been any large-scale studies that prove they are harmful to human health. Regardless, many people still choose to avoid parabens because some studies have found them in breast tumors.
Fortunately, parabens are pretty easy to suss out of ingredient lists. Paraben ingredients’ names can start with many prefixes, but will always end in “paraben.” For example, methylparaben, propylparaben, and butylparaben are all parabens you can opt to avoid.

Petroleum Jelly

Petroleum jelly (or petrolatum) can be purchased as a stand-alone product and is also an ingredient in many cosmetics. It’s used to seal moisture into the skin because of its occlusive properties—which means it prevents water or moisture loss. Unfortunately, use of petroleum jelly is considered a threat to the environment and the human endocrine system. Petroleum is a byproduct of the petroleum—or oil— industry, meaning it’s a nonrenewable resource.
Instead of opting for petroleum-based hydration, reach for a renewable plant oil instead. Think of oils like coconut, jojoba, olive, and even shea butter. All of these come from plants that can continue to grow and produce more of the fruit or nut that contains the oil. They will all work to hydrate your skin, and the best part is you can pick and choose different oils for different levels of hydration. If you’re looking for a direct replacement for petroleum jelly, try plain old shea butter. It remains solid at room temperature and will melt into your skin as you use it, similar to petroleum jelly.

Formaldehyde

Shockingly, a 2015 study found that formaldehyde may be found in your beauty products even when it isn’t listed as an ingredient. This is an issue because formaldehyde is widely recognized as a sensitizer, meaning products containing formaldehyde can cause uncomfortable cases of contact dermatitis. You’re most likely to see formaldehyde (or formalin) in nail polish. Fortunately, nail products labeled “three free” do not contain any of the big three potential toxins or allergens commonly used in polishes, which makes purchasing safe alternatives easier.

Microbeads

Microbeads (also known as polyethylene or PEGs) are a problem for pollution, which in turn affects the environment and eventually human health. Although microbeads aren’t used as often in skincare and cosmetics as they once were, products that contain them are still on the market in some areas. The Microbead-Free Waters Act of 2015 will prevent companies from introducing products containing microbeads starting in July 2019, but until then, check the label to see if a product you’re using or considering contains microbeads.
According to the 5 Gyres Institute—a nonprofit that has special consultative status with the United Nations Economic and Social Council and is spearheading microbead research and corrective initiatives with Procter & Gamble, Johnson & Johnson, L’Oreal, and Unilever—if you do own products that contain microbeads, do not flush them or rinse them down a drain.
Companies and consumers need to make concerted efforts to keep microbeads out of water sources. If you still want to get some use out of a product that contains microbeads, strain it through a coffee filter or cheesecloth before use, then throw the filter and microbeads away in the trash. Or if you’re done with the product altogether, squeeze it into the trash and recycle the container.

Clean Beauty and the Personal Care Act

In 2015, Senator Dianne Feinstein introduced the Personal Care Act, but the original bill was not enacted by Congress. In May of 2017, Feinstein introduced the Personal Care Products Safety Act. The goal of this act is to give the FDA more power to regulate ingredients used in cosmetics. It also requires the FDA to review five cosmetic ingredients every year to consider their potential toxicity and determine whether a concentration restriction should be implemented. This legislation could fill a gap in protection that U.S. consumers have faced for decades.
If this act is made into law, we’re likely to see a shift in the ingredients used in beauty products. Right now, though, the oversight of cosmetics is still fairly low in the United States compared to Canada and the EU, where regulation of ingredients in personal care items is much more stringent.

Clean Beauty Benefits

When you make the shift to using more (or only!) clean beauty products, you’ll not only gain insight into the ingredients that make up your products—you’ll also commit to taking control of what you’re putting on your skin. Knowledge is power, y’all, and even though we in the United States don’t have as much government oversight on cosmetics as we might like, we can choose to use products that feel safe for our health and our beauty games.

Where to Find Clean Beauty

Finding a brand that you trust is one of the first steps into the clean beauty scene. Depending on what products you’re looking for, you’ll need to check out different ingredients. To make your life a million times easier, the Environmental Working Group has a cosmetic ingredient database that can help you learn whether a given ingredient is safe or not. They do all the heavy lifting for you!
We have a few cult favorite clean beauty products that can get you started. For a natural looking base, try Juice Beauty’s Stem Cellular CC Cream. It comes in multiple shades to match your skin tone and has SPF 30. It will help even out skin tone and texture and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, all while protecting your face from the sun’s harmful rays.
RMS Living Luminizer is another favorite. It’s a super sheer, wet-looking highlighter that’s perfect for accenting your cheekbones on a good skin day. Kjaer Weis is known for their ultra luxurious products, and dreamy (refillable!) packaging. We suggest starting with their Magnetic Eyeshadow since it’s a shade that will suit all eye colors.
Taking charge of the products you use can be empowering! Clean beauty should put your mind at ease, and since the trend is really taking off, it will be easier than ever to find products and brands you trust in 2018. Welcome to the clean beauty crew!

Categories
Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

What’s Up With Sound Bathing? (And What To Know Before Your First Sonic Healing Sesh)

Is your yoga studio advertising sound bathing sessions or has a friend been raving about her recent experience? From massages and aromatherapy to sensory deprivation tanks and crystal healing, more and more women are trying natural wellness therapies that may have been dismissed as “too out-there” just a few years ago.
Still, being adventurous has its benefits, and proponents of the so-called sound healing trend are a new wave of pioneers. One of the major benefits for overworked or overtired sound bathers is that all you really have to do is lie down and let the healing wash over you.
Sounds amazing, right? If you’re stressed, have a chronic health condition, or are just looking for a new way to give yourself a nourishing treat, you owe it to yourself to try this therapeutic treatment for the mind, body, and spirit.

Wait, what’s a sound bath?

No, you won’t get wet. Instead of warm water and bubbles, when you partake in a sound healing session, you “bathe” in the sonic vibrations created by instruments like Tibetan singing bowls, gongs, handpans, bells, and chimes played by the sound bath practitioner for your benefit. Some sessions also incorporate singing and chanting. As sound specialist Monte Hansen told The Washington Post, one of the reasons it’s called a bath is because people “feel like they are being submerged in sound, like the sound waves created by the Tibetan singing bowls are a visceral thing and they are washed in waves of water.”
Sound bathing and gong healing sessions have been popping up more and more frequently in alternative wellness centers and yoga studios, but it’s actually an ancient tradition that’s experiencing a major comeback.

Does it really work?

Maybe. I say this as someone who recently tried sound bathing and experienced a tangible benefit, so I want to say yes! Of course, aside from my personal experience, it’s important to note that while there are lots of studies showing real, empirical evidence that sound, audio vibrations, and music therapy are legitimate treatments for conditions ranging from generic stress to PTSD, there aren’t any peer-reviewed studies specifically about sound bathing—yet. But as many sound healing enthusiasts will tell you, “I may not know exactly what it’s doing to me or how it works, but I know if feels amazing.”
I went to a Shakti Gong Sound Healing event at The People’s Yoga—my regular yoga studio here in Portland—hosted by the Starnes Sisters. Stephanie and Sarah Starnes have been conducting sound healing sessions for years, and they’re known for their otherworldly singing voices, which they bring into their sound healing rituals.
I’m already a frequent practitioner of yoga and meditation, and am pretty open to alternative wellness, but was still totally shocked at how different I felt after simply lying down and absorbing the sounds for 90 minutes. I would describe the feeling as a slow, creeping relaxation that ended in me feeling almost exactly as if I had just received a massage.
Sarah says sound baths are “an opportunity to connect more deeply with yourself,” while Stephanie invites sound bathers to “lay down with [their] eyes closed in a safe space, allowing [them] to relax and absorb the sound that we create.”

Know before you go.

A sound bathing experience usually involves laying down on your back on a yoga mat or blanket in savasana (corpse pose), with or without supporting props like bolsters and pillows, with your head directed toward the source of the music. The idea is to be as comfortable as possible. If your sound bath is hosted in a yoga studio, there will likely be some props available to borrow, but the Starnes sisters recommend bringing your own cozy accoutrements like pillows, blankets, and an eye mask—anything you want to help you feel “extra comfortable.” They also recommend wearing layers, since lying still for an hour and a half can cause your body to cool, and you don’t want to get chilly.
You should also know that some people have reported feeling strong or unexpected emotions during or after their sonic sessions. Some even feel the need to laugh or cry. As Stephanie said at the end of our sound bath, “Just in case something has come up for you,” you should make sure to “keep caring for yourself and treating yourself gently” for the rest of the evening. As for me, I went home, drank tea, and basked in that post-sound bath feeling that you’ll come to know if you give it a try.

Categories
Gym x Studio Sweat

Beat Boredom And Freshen Up Your Fitness Routine With New Workouts In 2018

There are only so many times you can get excited about doing the same old gym routine. Are you bored with your current routine or trying to amp up after reaching a fitness plateau?
Studies shows that mixing up your workouts not only keeps you motivated, but can also help you prevent injury, reach your goals, and have more fun to boot. So why not commit to trying a new kind of fitness class in the new year? Here are some trending workouts to choose from…
[sol title=”Hot Pilates” subheader=”You’ll love it if you’re a fan of: Bikram Yoga, Hot Yoga, Mat Pilates”]
What to expect: According to the HotPilates studio in West Hollywood, California, “Twenty-two full-body exercises will leave you feeling long, lengthened and toned. Expect to work. Expect a tighter waistline. And expect to get hot.”
Since hot exercise classes can range from between 85° F to over 100° F, you’ll want to make sure you stay hydrated.
[sol title=”The Boss Chick Dance Workout” subheader=”You’ll love it if you’re a fan of: Zumba, Going Out Dancing”]
What to expect: This women-only full-body sculpt and cardio workout combines dance moves with hip-hop, dancehall, and afrobeat soundtracks, and claims to burn up to 1,000 calories per session. Founded by classically trained dancer Simone Sobers, this upbeat workout class is now taught at 21 studios around the world—from Las Vegas to Hackensack, New Jersey, to Istanbul.
[sol title=”Airborne Aerobics” subheader=”You’ll love it if you’re a fan of: Gymnastics, Trampolines”]
What to expect: If you were the trampoline queen on your block growing up, SkyFit might be your new favorite workout. Sky Zone Trampoline Parks across the country now offer group fitness classes in which exercisers bounce, twirl, and flip their way to gains in their arms, legs, and cores.
[sol title=”IMAX Cycling” subheader=”You’ll love it if you’re a fan of: Spin Classes, Outdoor Cycling, SoulCycle”]
What to expect: Group cycling classes with a virtual reality twist? Sign me up. These 45-minute, high-energy, all-levels spinning workouts at IMAX Cycling Studios push cyclists to the next level with giant movie screens that simulate outdoor biking trips.
[sol title=”Cardio Drumming” subheader=”You’ll love it if you’re a fan of: Rhythm, Workout Mash-Ups”]
What to expect: Out of all the up-and-coming workout trends I surveyed, this is the one I’m most excited to try. Class-goers use specially weighted drumsticks to drum up a beat and a sweat, in what the POUND website calls a “full-body workout that combines cardio, conditioning, and strength training with yoga and Pilates-inspired movements.”
Whether you want to feel more grounded with hot pilates or take to the air on a giant trampoline, with so many creative workouts to try in the new year, you can expect to be tired and sweaty, but definitely not bored.

Categories
Life x Culture Lifestyle

How To Find Your Passion And Live Your Best Life Every Day

Ever feel like you spend your work days going through the motions, but not feeling emotionally invested in your tasks? You’re not alone—only about a third of American employees feel engaged or enthusiastic about their work according to a recent Gallup poll. Even if your job is comfortable, you probably fantasize about finding something more fulfilling to do from 9 to 5. But before you can pursue that dream, you need to figure out what you’re even passionate about—which is a big challenge on its own.
Portland-based personal branding and career coach Robin Cangie has some first-hand advice about how to find your passion. Before building her coaching business—a career she thrives in—she spent more than 10 years feeling less than satisfied in software marketing jobs.
“While there were things I liked—I had the chance to be creative and opportunities to write—it wasn’t authentic. It always felt like I was serving someone else, and I just wasn’t that interested in business-to-business software marketing,” she recalls.
However, the jobs did help her discover what she was actually passionate about: coaching others. She noticed that colleagues needed a bit of help building credibility with the public and the media, so she led coaching workshops to give them more confidence. Not only did she enjoy coaching others, she also discovered she was good at it—and eventually turned that passion into a business she devotes herself to full time.
“It sparked something in me I had never felt in a job before,” she says. “It was rewarding and valuable.”
Through her personal journey, as well as the journeys of her clients, she has developed some strategies that can help anyone discover their true calling. From learning the difference between a hobby and a passion to building a personal brand based on the things you love, here’s how to find your passion—and live it every day.

Learning the True Meaning

From an early age, you may have been encouraged to “do what you love.” But is “doing what you love” at work the only way to live your passion? Not necessarily, according to Cangie.
“Passion manifests itself in all kinds of ways,” she tells HealthyWay. “We tend to talk about it a lot in terms of career, but that’s a bit misguided. I like to think of passion as your life’s work. If you can find a career that leverages your passion, that’s great, but if you can’t or don’t want to do that, you’re not a failure.”
Passion can mean different things to different people, depending on where they are in life. For some, it might mean raising a family or giving back to the community. For others, it’s about pursuing a lucrative career or developing skills in the creative arts.
Cangie says when thinking about how to find your passion, you should consider pursuits that bring joy, connect you to a higher sense of purpose, and fill a need in society. But also be open to finding your passion in areas you wouldn’t expect.
“We tend to treat finding your passion like finding a perfect pair of jeans—try on enough of them, and eventually one will fit. But we’ve got it backward. We don’t find our passion so much as our passion finds us. It’s about doing good work and staying open to opportunities that arise from that, and it’s good news for those of us who don’t know what we want.”

Life’s Biggest Challenge

Many of us fall into one of two camps: We either have so many things we love that we don’t know how to narrow it down to one true calling, or we have no idea where to begin looking for our passion. Why is it so difficult to discover your passion?
“There are lots of reasons why people struggle with this, and a lot of it has to do with our society. We set expectations that everyone should find a passion before they graduate college, then go to a corporate setting and do it for someone else. It sets you up for disappointment, especially as you start your first jobs and don’t immediately find that one passion out there for you,” Cangie shares.
Figuring out what makes your heart sing can be overwhelming at first. To help you get started, Cangie suggests asking yourself a few questions:

  • What do I really want?
  • What am I good at?
  • How can I best serve others?
  • How can I meet my financial needs?

You could plot your potential passions on a Venn diagram (like this example from Cangie) to explore the ways in which they overlap. An idea that intersects two or more circles will serve as a starting point for pursuing and getting to know what you’re truly passionate about.

Could your hobby be more?

Hobbies give us the opportunity to pursue things we love or explore things that interest us. But are hobbies the same as passions?
“Hobbies can be a great outlet for pursuing passions, but they’re not necessarily the passions themselves,” says Cangie.
Wait, what? If I love photography, and spend my weekends shooting beautiful images of my neighborhood, wouldn’t that also be my passion?
“It’s a matter of [the] degree to which it’s fulfilling to you and serves others,” Cangie explains. “The difference between a hobby and a passion is that passion connects to a higher purpose and the outside world in some way. I love crafting, but I do it for me. But one of my passions—telling stories—brings me joy and provides a service to the world. That’s the difference.”
Don’t write off your hobbies as you work to find your passion. Instead, explore the bigger picture of what they bring to you and the world, and work to transform those realizations into a deeper understanding of your life’s purpose.

Hidden in Plain Sight

Sometimes your passion is right under your nose. It was for Cangie—she was already offering career and leadership coaching to colleagues at her company when she realized that’s what she absolutely loved to do. But how can you shine a light on something that’s hidden in plain sight?
“Start paying attention to things that bring you joy,” says Cangie. “Joy is a fertile ground for finding your passion. No matter what situation you’re in, there’s always an opportunity to feel joy and that allows passions to come in.”
You could also think about a time in your life when you felt you did your best work, she adds. A key moment of pride, like the time you threw an amazing event or produced an insightful report, might offer clues that point to what you’re passionate about.
“Think about what it was tapping into within you,” Cangie says.
However, finding your passion isn’t just about focusing on the positive. Your frustrations might also hint at a problem you’d be passionate about solving. For Cangie, her passion for coaching was tucked inside her frustration that the people she worked with struggled to see their own value.
“The people I was coaching at work couldn’t see how awesome they were. Through discussions with them, I helped them find a story that felt empowering, allowed them to reclaim their sense of agency, and see their own brilliance,” says Cangie.
In short: “Stop chasing your passion, and instead seek opportunities to do what brings you joy and follow your frustrations,” she says.

A Word on Advice 

You look around and it seems like everyone has already found their passion. Your best friend is a successful wedding photographer who looks forward to every shoot; your mom is a nurse who feels fulfilled healing others; your sister, who recently gave birth to her second child, thrives as a mother and embodies it as her true calling. Should you ask them for advice on how to find your passion?
“Getting a really clear picture about what you are good at is difficult to do on your own. So, ask friends and family, ask a manager, ask a colleague, or even a good career coach—there are lots of people who can help you find what you’re really great at,” says Cangie.
An outside perspective gives you the chance to talk about things that are meaningful to you and dive into the deeper reasons that energize those feelings of purpose. For example, when one of Cangie’s clients told her she excelled at project management, the discussion led to a breakthrough realization about what she’s passionate about.
“We discovered that project management was a label that didn’t fully capture what she was really great at. Her real talent was getting groups of people together from different functions to achieve a common vision,” shares Cangie.
Keep in mind that everyone pursues a different path to their passion. While your loved ones who have it all figured out might be able to explain how they got there, only you can forge your own journey toward deep personal fulfillment.

Building Your Brand

Branding isn’t just for businesses—it’s a useful tool that can help you focus on your passion.
“Personal brands are a kind of story you tell about yourself. It changes over time as you do,” says Cangie.
A strong personal brand can unite all of your passions under one umbrella. While coaching and storytelling serve as the foundation for Cangie’s personal brand, she also ties in another passion: her cats. They even inspired a recent Medium post she wrote about what cats have taught her about building a business. Including this quirky passion in her personal brand has helped Cangie honor something that’s truly important to her heart and has allowed her to spark meaningful connections with others.
“Having multiple things you’re passionate about, whether or not it has to do with your job, helps build credibility as you try new things. It shows you’re a whole person, and can help integrate what you love into your life, even if you’re just starting to find your passions,” she shares.
Embrace the unusual side of yourself. If you have a passion for collecting sneakers, creating collages, birdwatching, or anything else that grounds and connects you, but feels random—harness your enthusiasm and tell others about it.

Face Your Fears

Once you figure out your passion, pursuing it takes guts. If you decide to change careers, you may have to leave the security of a high-paying job. If you decide to dedicate your nights and weekends to writing a book, learning a foreign language, or designing costumes for a community play, there’s always the risk of failure. How can you overcome this fear?
“No one bats a thousand, no one is perfect, and everyone has setbacks. And when you find yourself in the midst of a failure moment, it’s painful—but know that it is normal,” Cangie advises.
If things aren’t going to according to your plan, give yourself a little space to process the situation. Then, when you’re ready, journal about the lessons learned from the experience and develop a new plan that prioritizes moving forward with grace.
“Think about how this will fit into the larger story of your life. Six months from now, how will you look back and see the crucial thing you just learned that helped you move forward? The failure then turns from a crappy thing into a necessary thing that gets you where you’re going next.”
The most important thing is to pick yourself up and keep trying.
“You have to persist anyway. It’s not that the people who are successful haven’t failed—they’re successful because they persisted in spite of their failures and consistently showed up until it paid off,” says Cangie.

Take the plunge.

So, you’ve found your passion and have an idea of how it fits into your life. How do you move to the next stage, and actually take the plunge?
“Look at the situation right now and think about where you can start living your passion. You might not be able to make major changes right away, and that’s OK. Start every day by looking for opportunities in front of you to put these things into play,” says Cangie.
For example, let’s say you love writing and you’re passionate about making it part of your job, but your current position doesn’t require much writing. Don’t sit around waiting for a writing assignment. Instead, get creative and look for ways you can start doing it right now.
“Maybe you can do a side project with the marketing team to write emails, or write a guest blog about your role, or maybe ask a friend at another company if they need a volunteer writer,” Cangie says.
Taking immediate steps toward your passion, even if they’re just small projects at first, makes the pursuit more achievable, and will allow you to pick up key skills along the way.
“Looking at your life as it is right now takes you out of this overwhelming idea that you have to make all these major changes to pursue a passion. It’s OK … not being sure where everything leads to next … that’s liberating. Just start where you are, and create more joy and purpose there,” she says.

Let it light up your daily life.

Living a passionate life requires effort that goes beyond the Monday to Friday hustle. Living your passion means identifying with your mission without reservation and finding ways to do it and live it every day—a feat that demands more energy and stamina than you might expect. It means pushing through when you’re tired, or when you’ve recently failed, or even when you think you can’t achieve anything more.
“When I am having a bad day, I ask myself: ‘Do I still want this?’ As long as the answer is yes, I know I can keep going,” says Cangie.
Just as you should reflect on moments of failure, you should also celebrate your successes. Being realistic about the negative and especially the positive will motivate you to keep living your passion, says Cangie.
“If you’re in the thick of it, you can forget how far you’ve come. When this happens to me, I pause and ask myself, ‘What do I have more of in my life right now that I wanted back then?’. The reminders of my progress help keep me going.”
It’s not going to be easy, says Cangie, but it will be worth it. Nothing nourishes you in quite the same way as finding and living your passion—so don’t hesitate to let it define, inform, and inspire you.

Categories
Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

What The Heck Is Hygge? Here's Why You Need Some This Winter

Disclaimer: Just so you know, if you order an item through one of our posts, we may get a small share of the sale.

The winter months can be especially stressful. Cooking and baking, wrapping the presents, and making it to all eight of your holiday parties…when it’s all over you can really feel worn out. For the post-holiday daze, we’re advocating a little bit of hygge. You’ll thank us later.

What is hygge, exactly?

You know that peaceful feeling you get when you’re nestled snugly on the couch with your favorite blanket and a warm cup of hot chocolate and everything is just right? That’s hygge. Hygge is taking time to appreciate the feeling of coziness. It’s being present in the moment and enjoying the little things, like a nubbly sweater or hot tea on a cold day. We’re feeling calmer just thinking about it.
The term hygge is of Danish origin—there isn’t an English word that means quite the same thing (and it doesn’t rhyme with jiggy; it’s pronounced more like “hue-guh”).
Hygge is widely considered a defining characteristic of Danish culture and has been trending across the globe, thanks in no small part to the rise in popularity of self-care. Hygge places emphasis on being appreciative of what you have, seeking out comfort, and feeling good about your surroundings. The Danes make hygge a part of their everyday life, and it’s not hard to see why.

How to Embrace Hygge

Especially during the cold, gray, dark winter months, taking a moment to get cozy and be thankful is good for the soul. Who needs a frosty mood on top of the chilly weather?
When you get home after a long day and it’s already dark out, practice a little hygge with your lighting choice. Burn a few candles, opt for warming lamps over harsh overhead lights, and get comfortable on the couch with your favorite blanket. Candlelight is warm in color, temperature, and feeling (just make sure to keep an eye on an open flame).
You can also infuse a little hygge in your self-care routine to make it more meditative. You can find joy in washing your face, we promise! Enjoy the sensation of bubbles on your skin or the feeling of a warm washcloth when you remove your cleanser. Rushing through a skincare routine, taking the shortest shower possible, or not bothering to brush your hair doesn’t need to be your standard. Bring in some mindfulness and you’ll find the coziness in your self-care routine in no time.
Having friends over is an ideal time to embrace hygge. Instead of stressing about getting just the right snacks and making sure every little detail is perfect, relax into it. Pop some popcorn, grab extra blankets, and settle in for a fun night with your gals.
Not feeling like socializing? That’s okay! Everyone needs time to themselves too. Some people find it easier to wind down when they’re totally alone. A warm bubble bath is the perfect way to get your hygge on when you’re having an evening in. When’s the last time you allowed yourself to lazily soak in the tub? Take an evening to put your feet up and pamper yourself.

Enhance your hygge.

While you’re getting hygge with it (sorry, had to at least once!) you may want to have a treat-yourself moment. We’re all for cozying up, and this knitted blanket is just the thing. Tea drinkers can get their mug in the mix with this equally warm tea cozy. We also like to light a nice candle like this delicious winter woods–scented one.
For adding a little comfort to your day we highly recommend picking up some super soft socks, a wrap cardigan, and some jogger sweatpants so you’ll always feel warm and snug.
But really, you don’t need to buy anything to have a hygge moment. Appreciating what you have, warming up with the ones you love, and reveling in the calm is all it takes.

Products you’ll love:

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How Digital Fitness Is Changing The At-Home Workout Game In 2018

It’s 2018, and you can have pretty much anything delivered right to your home and find any movie or TV show streaming in an instant. We’ve come to expect our services to come to us—no need to get in the car and drive somewhere (or even put on pants and a bra for that matter). So when can we expect the fitness world to grab hold of the instant-gratification trend? That time is now.
You may not be able to afford (or even want) your own personal trainer to come to your house every day to design a workout for whatever your mood or goals might be. But now, with advances in the digital fitness market, you can have the next best thing: unlimited variations of studio fitness classes streaming directly to your home—many with no special equipment required.

Go somewhere with Peloton.

Even though you may not cover a single mile riding a Peloton exercise bike, that doesn’t mean you’re not getting anywhere. From a new kind of high-tech spin bike that was originally funded on Kickstarter to an international tool of choice for at-home workout devotees, Peloton has made its mark on the digital fitness industry.
Using the bike’s large, wifi-enabled screen, subscribers can tune in to the hit of energy that comes from taking part in a live spin class coming to you via streaming video from New York City. Users can also choose from a catalog of pre-recorded classes.
Peloton has tapped in to the market for high-quality studio fitness on your schedule, in your own home. And they’re not the only ones. Now other companies, such as Flywheel and Equinox Tier X, are following suit.

The future is digital.

Fitness buffs and beginners alike are going digital. In fact, a recent market research report on opportunities in the global digital fitness market states that “the global digital fitness market is expected to reach an estimated $27.4 billion by 2022.”
These figures include wearable tech like Fitbits (I’m got mine on!) and Motiv Rings, as well as “smart clothing,” digital equipment like Peloton Bikes, fitness apps, and streaming fitness subscriptions.

HIIT your workout goals at home with ClassPass.

There are many websites offering on-demand fitness classes, but a forthcoming service from ClassPass (the subscription service to basically every fitness studio in your city) now aims to provide that specialized boutique fitness studio energy and attention in real time from the company’s studio in Brooklyn, New York, to in-home viewers.  
The new service, called ClassPass Live, will be released in “early 2018,” according to Business Insider. It will focus on high-intensity interval training (HIIT) content at first and is expected to cost $15 per month for new members.
At-home HIIT warriors will consistently be able to access new live content coming to wherever their corner of the earth is. The company hasn’t yet shared any plans to make the platform open to uploads from fitness influencers outside of their in-house team, but the possibilities do seem boundless.
And if you’re looking to get in some HIIT time before that service launches, be sure to visit our HIIT video series. We’ve got you covered!