Month: July 2018

5 Edible Flowers To Try For Cooking, Baking, And Cocktail-Making

Post author By Ashley Linkletter
Post date July 15, 2018

Thirty years ago, flowers were everywhere thanks to the influence of major cultural touchstones like fashion brand Laura Ashley and Donna Martin’s entire wardrobe in early seasons of Beverly Hills 90210. However, the floral trend wasn’t confined to the world of fashion. Edible flowers became a symbol of sophisticated haute cuisine; salads were strewn with violets and pansies while white wine spritzers were chilled with ice cubes containing suspended flower petals. Thankfully, along with all things floral and all things from the early ’90s, edible flowers are making a comeback!
Whether this is your first experience with the edible flower trend or it’s familiar territory, we’ll teach you how to buy and safely use flowers for cooking, baking, and cocktail-making.

Safety First: Buying and Selecting Edible Flowers

First things first: It’s important to buy flowers from reputable, organic farms and greenhouses specializing in edible flowers to ensure you’re consuming a product free from harmful pesticides and herbicides. Resist the urge to snip flowers from store-bought bouquets (there’s a good chance they’ve been sprayed with pesticides) and even from your own backyard (where there’s a chance the flowers may have inadvertently been exposed to pesticides).
Jan Billington, co-owner of Maddocks Farm Organics, an organic farm specializing in fresh edible flowers, is a firm believer in purchasing edible flowers from specialty farms for the taste alone. In particular, she loves the standout flavor of edible roses:
“Organic edible roses are a world apart from the insipid supermarket offering, which have no perfume and should most definitely not be eaten because the average florist rose has been sprayed up to 90 times with some very toxic chemicals. We grow the finest David Austin roses, and they all smell wonderful and all taste different. Some are sold to make chocolates; some [are sold for] jam, and we have just started working with a lovely little Cornish couple called Tinkture to make a rose gin. It is made with fresh rose petals, and the flavor is wonderful,” Billington tells HealthyWay.
Another advantage to buying edible flowers from specialty growers is the reduced risk of accidentally buying flowers that are inedible and/or poisonous. A 2017 article in The Guardian, “Tasty or toxic? Beware of the trend for edible flowers,” highlights the ways in which social media can inadvisably and accidentally promote the use of toxic flowers (narcissi, a beautiful flower that can cause painful sores and swelling, were used as an example). For more information on what to avoid, check out this list of 20 poisonous flowers.

Where to Buy Edible Flowers

Buying edible flowers from licensed growers will almost guarantee your flowers have been grown without the use of harmful pesticides in a sustainable, controlled environment. If you’re fortunate enough to live close to an edible flower farm you can actually visit the facilities and in some cases, pick your own flowers. Luckily, for those of us not in driving distance of an edible flower farm, there are still several options for ordering flowers online.
For a random assortment of fresh, hydroponically grown edible flowers, we love Melissa’s Assorted Edible Flowers (which uses next day air shipping in the U.S.).
If you’re in the United Kingdom, Maddocks Farm Organics will ship organic, fresh edible flowers via overnight courier.
Gourmet Sweet Botanicals specializes in fresh and crystalized edible flowers and will ship anywhere in the U.S. (and in Canada on certain days of the week) using FedEx Priority Overnight or UPS Next Day Air.

Using Edible Flowers in the Kitchen

Edible flowers are so much more than a garnish; preliminary research suggests some could be potentially rich sources of polyphenols and antioxidants, and they can be used to make tasty infusions, added to salads and other delicate dishes, or served as special ingredients in their own right.

“I love it when edible flowers are used as an ingredient within a recipe rather than just as a garnish on the side of the plate,” Billington says. “There are so many different flavors within the edible flower world, and this is often overlooked by chefs.”
If you want to explore the various flavors of edible flowers, try one of our top-five faves.

5 Beautiful (and Tasty!) Edible Flowers to Try

Rose Petals

Regularly used in Middle Eastern cooking, rose petals have a pleasant floral smell and taste. Use dried or fresh rose petals in your favorite gin-based cocktail, in this recipe for homemade harissa, or try them as a cute vegan topping for any dairy-free dessert!

Chive Blossoms

Chive blossoms are small purple flowers that have a faint, slightly sweet chive flavor. Use chive blossoms in a delicate salad with microgreens or try Billington’s favorite method. “Cutting chive flowers and steeping them in a white wine or white balsamic vinegar makes the most beautiful pink onion-flavored vinegar,” Billington says, “which is wonderful in salad dressing, and also extremely good for you.”

Violet Petals

Fresh violets add a gorgeous pop of purple to any salad or cocktail (an especially nice feature, as there are very few naturally-colored purple ingredients one can use to complement a green salad). The lightly perfumed taste of violets pairs well with sparkling wines such as prosecco and cava; try floating a single violet on top of the wine before serving.

Zucchini Blossoms

With their soft orange and yellow color, zucchini (or squash) blossoms taste like a milder version of summer squash. Zucchini blossoms are particularly delicious when they’ve been stuffed with delicate ricotta cheese and then gently pan-fried in olive oil or butter. For a gorgeous yet simple side dish, zucchini blossoms can be quickly sautéed and served with crème fraiche-spiked scrambled eggs.

Lavender

Lavender has a distinct, soapy taste that can quickly overpower all other flavors if it isn’t used judiciously. When used with a light touch, the taste of lavender is similar to that of mint and rosemary. Use small amounts of dried lavender in dough for cookies and scones, whipped into cream and butter, or as part of a dry rub for lamb and goat meat.
Now that you know which edible flowers are safe to consume, try using them yourself in this recipe for cold brew hibiscus flower iced tea.
Delightfully tangy and refreshing, homemade hibiscus tea (also called Agua de Jamaica, rosella, or sorrel depending on where you’re drinking it) is an easy way to enjoy the taste of edible flowers with very little effort. Dried hibiscus flowers can be purchased in Latin and Caribbean grocery stores, from greenhouses specializing in edible flowers, or online (we love these organic dried hibiscus flowers from Frontier Co-op). Unlike traditional iced tea, hibiscus tea doesn’t contain any strong bitter flavors and is free from caffeine (in fact, you’ll find cold brewed hibiscus tea tastes more like cranberry juice than tea).
This is a basic recipe for cold brew hibiscus flower tea, so for additional flavor try steeping slices of fresh ginger, cinnamon sticks, or fresh mint leaves with the hibiscus flowers. If you plan on serving this tea to guests, try doubling the recipe and making elegant hibiscus flower tea ice cubes with the extra liquid.

Cold Brew Hibiscus Flower Iced Tea

Yield: 4 Cups of Cold Brew Hibiscus Flower Iced Tea

Ingredients:

½ cup dried hibiscus flowers
4 cups cold water (filtered if possible)
Fresh ginger, mint, or a cinnamon stick (optional)

Special Equipment:

Measuring cup
Pitcher
Long-handled spoon
Large tea ball or infuser (such as this FORLIFE Capsule Infuser)
Fine-mesh sieve (if you don’t have a large tea ball or infuser)

Method:

Add the dried hibiscus flowers to the tea ball or infuser and place in the pitcher (or add the dried hibiscus flowers directly to the bottom of the pitcher).
Cover the dried flowers with cold water and gently stir with a long-handled spoon. Refrigerate for a minimum of 12 hours and up to 24 hours (remove the hibiscus at this point to prevent bitter flavors from developing).
Remove the tea ball or infuser (or pour the loose tea through a fine-mesh sieve). Serve cold with plenty of ice. Cold brewed hibiscus iced tea can be stored in the fridge for up to a week.

Don’t be a late bloomer—hop on board and see what the edible flower trend is all about for yourself.

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No Gym Required Sweat

Why Beach Workouts Are The Perfect Way To Take A Vacation From Your Exercise Routine

Post author By Sara Lindberg
Post date July 15, 2018

There are plenty of perks to vacationing near the beach: an extra dose of sunshine, playing in the water, and, of course, exercising on the sand.
If you’re looking for a beach workout you can do with just your body weight, we’ve got you covered. From running and HIIT to circuit training and yoga, you can do just about any form of exercise on the sand.
But before you head for the shore, check out the workout wisdom and beach tips the experts share with their clients to help them stay in shape—even on vacation.

What are the benefits of working out on the beach?

Whether you’re jogging or doing a quick circuit training workout, [linkbuilder id=”6719″ text=”running on the beach”] is perfect for challenging your body. Here are a few reasons you should consider hitting the beach on your next vacation.

There’s less impact on your body.

Running on the sand has less impact on your body, which makes it easier on your joints.

The sand makes for more resistance.

You know those tiny little grains of sand you sift through your toes? Well, certified personal trainer Corey Phelps says those grains create an unstable surface and add resistance to any workout. In other words, sand creates an increase in muscle recruitment and provides a higher calorie burn.

Variety is the spice of life.

Like Phelps says, “You can do virtually any workout on the beach, barring the ones that include complex equipment. The beach is perfect for running, yoga, Pilates, Zumba or HIIT.”

It’s fun and functional.

According to certified personal trainer Lyuda Bouzinova, the beach offers a more functional workout because exercising on the sand incorporates the element of balance into every motion. “In real life, you must balance your body as you move around, push, pull, and lift things, and traditional gym exercises isolate those movements to focus on just one at a time instead of the holistic way we use our bodies,” she explains. That’s why the sand is such a diverse surface to challenge your body.

Your core will thank you.

“No matter what exercises you do, you will also be working your core as well as all the smaller stabilizing muscles which normally wouldn’t be engaged if you are just doing the exercise inside of a gym,” explains Bouzinova. She says the smaller muscles are crucial to strengthen but usually take a long time because it’s so hard to engage them in a typical gym workout.

You can make every minute count.

The sand provides an added resistance that allows you to have a more intense workout in a shorter period of time.

You’ll get a nice vitamin D boost.

You get a healthy dose of vitamin D when you work out at the beach. But make sure to wear sunscreen, even if you exercise in the morning.

What are some different types of beach workouts you can do?

One of the top benefits of working out on the beach is the variety it offers, which can help you stay motivated and excited about staying active while on vacation.
If you’re looking for a pure cardio workout, you can run or sprint. Bouzinova says to run closer to the water where the sand is sturdier. This allows you to go faster without having to worry about twisting your ankle on an uneven surface.
The beach also offers the perfect venue for doing a HIIT or bodyweight workout.
Consider going through a full-body circuit that incorporates bodyweight exercises for your arms, legs, shoulders, back, and core (more on this later). If you want to make it a HIIT workout, you can add cardio bursts of running or sprinting down the beach in between the bodyweight exercises.
The beach is also an ideal location for doing an early morning yoga workout or Pilates routine before the sun comes up. Bouzinova says to just be aware of the uneven and changing surface every time you move because that can make the moves more challenging.

What are the best conditions for working out on the beach?

Wet sand or dry sand? Barefoot or shoes? Knowing the best conditions for working out on the beach can mean the difference between a supercharged workout and one that you walk away from halfway through. As a professional volleyball player who took her skills from the court to the sand, Fitbit Ambassador Nicole Branagh knows exactly how these conditions can affect your workout.
Branagh says that hard sand creates a dense, stable surface, whereas soft sand creates a higher level of instability, which makes you work harder. And when it comes to shoes, she doesn’t wear any. “Being barefoot allows me to use my whole foot and strengthen all the different muscles I didn’t know I have,” she explains.
Running barefoot allows your feet to move through their natural range of motion. This can help strengthen your feet and ankles. That said, pay attention to any unusual aches or pains you may experience while working out. If you have plantar fasciitis, ankle injuries, or any lower leg problems, you may want to ask your doctor or physical therapist for their recommendation.
And remember to start slow. If you’re new to running barefoot on the beach, try a shorter distance for your first run, and then add five minutes to each workout.

Tips for Working Out on the Beach

Advice from a pro always come in handy when working out on the beach, and Branagh knows exactly how to perfect fitness and form for beach exercise.
Here, she shares her three top tips for beach workouts in the sand:

Always warm up.

One dynamic way to warm-up is to start off down by the water (at the edge of the ocean) and sprint uphill. You need to give your muscles time to adjust to the sand. Consider doing a longer warm-up the first couple of times you exercise on the beach.

Track your heart rate.

Branagh uses her Fitbit to track her heart rate, which helps her maintain a high level of training. A heart rate monitor will help you stay in the training zone that is appropriate for you. For example, a 30-year-old female who wants to exercise at a vigorous intensity level at 70 to 85 percent of her maximum heart rate should aim for 133 beats per minute (70 percent) to 161 beats per minute (85 percent). There are several tools online that can help you determine your target heart rate zone.

Utilize the lifeguard towers or other landmarks at the beach.

If you don’t have time to do a total body workout, you can mix 10 sprints in between lifeguard towers or other markers on the beach, such as umbrellas.

Sample Beach Workout

Now that you know all the benefits of taking your workout to the sand, it’s time to hit the beach and get your sweat on.
Here is Branagh’s go-to beach workout for the summer. Perform each exercise back-to-back with no rest until you get to the end of the round. Take a 30-second break and repeat the entire circuit two more times (three times total).

10 lifeguard tower sprints (sprint to one tower and jog back)
10 push-ups
10 block jumps
20 bicycle crunches (on an incline coming up from the water)
20 skater jumps (10 on each side)
25 regular crunches

For a little variety, try Branagh’s beach workout the first morning of your vacation and Bouzinova’s beach circuit workout on the second morning. You can alternate these two workouts for the remainder of your vacation, taking a day off after two consecutive workouts.
Bouzinova’s beach circuit workout is intermediate, but you can make it easier by doing the following:

Replace the explosive moves (snap jumps and frog jumps) with just raising your knees (like marching in place).
Only do two to four reps of the explosive moves.
Instead of side plank with twist, do a regular side plank or traditional plank.
Instead of platypus walk, hold the platypus walk position in place and don’t walk.
For glute bridge kicks, instead of doing the move one leg at a time, raise your hips with both feet on the ground.

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Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

Positive Affirmations Actually Work: Here's How To Start

Post author By Jenna Jonaitis
Post date July 14, 2018

We all have inner voices within our minds. Sometimes those voices encourage us, but often they supply us with negative self-talk: I’m not good enough to get that promotion. I’ll never meet the right person. Ugh, I’m so lazy for not exercising yesterday.
Before we know it, we let these negative thoughts cloud our minds and absorb our energy.
According to Eckhart Tolle, best-selling author and spiritual teacher, “the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” So what if we spend a little more time and energy working on changing our thoughts? We’d be much happier and, chances are, much more successful, too.
That’s where positive affirmations come in. They help redirect our brains to send us encouraging, uplifting statements—instead of negative ones. These positive affirmations build our confidence, boost our mood, and increase our productivity and happiness.
By implementing positive affirmations into your daily routine, you can change your mindset—and, ultimately, change your life.

What are positive affirmations?

Positive affirmations aren’t just feel-good statements. When done right, they can actually alter the neural pathways in our brains.
“The mental image we carry of ourselves and our mind is referred to as our self-image,” explains Tanya Ince, PhD, a money coach who helps individuals reach their highest potential. “Our self-image determines our actions, decisions, behaviors, and what we believe to be true.”
Positive affirmations are statements that help to change our self-image. Even though our self-image begins forming when we’re infants, we can make alterations to it as adults. For instance, if we believe we’re unlovable, we can form a positive affirmation to alter that belief.
“The average human thinks 40,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, but it can be even more than that,” says Ince. “Most of these thoughts are unconscious and happen automatically, like when we’re driving our cars.” To take control of those 60,000 thoughts (and our lives!), we can use affirmations to install new beliefs that support our goals.
And if you’re totally new to positive affirmations or doubt their power, read on.

The Three Main Types of Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations aren’t fluff: They remind our brains of what’s good, true, and helpful. They help us reach outside of those negative, circular thoughts. And they come in three main varieties.

Positive Affirmations for Your Identity

Affirmations about your identity speak to who you are. Do you believe you’re a good mother? A faithful friend? A thoughtful person?
[pullquote align=”center”]“Our self-image determines our actions, decisions, behaviors, and what we believe to be true.”
—Tanya Ince, PhD[/pullquote]
Even if you’re self-confident, you might carry doubts and deeply held beliefs about who you are or aren’t. Positive affirmations that target negative thoughts about your identity might look like: “I am a fun, likeable person” or, “My body is healthy and beautiful.”

Positive Affirmations for Your Capabilities

What you believe you can and cannot do are beliefs about your skills. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
Affirmations about your capabilities might sound like, “I have the skills to succeed at this project” or “I know how to host a dinner party for my friends.”

Positive Affirmations for Your Relationship With the World Around You

Do you see life as easy—or hard and full of problems? Are people on your side or against you?
What you believe about the world can be modified through affirmations to fit a more realistic, positive outlook. We can remind ourselves with affirmations like “The world has many good people in it” or “Life is full of little joys.”

How to Create Positive Affirmations That Actually Work

“Pre-made statements, like ones from a list of positive affirmations, aren’t very helpful and often times don’t work,” shares Katie Sanford, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, owner of Found Hope Counseling in Studio City, California. If you don’t believe your affirmation, it won’t resonate with you.
To build positive affirmations that will help manifest your dreams and change your life, follow these five key requirements.

1. Target an area where you want more balance.

“What area of your life would you like to expand or empower? Your health, career, finances, family life, or spirituality?” asks Ince. Develop a powerful affirmation to home in on the area where you’d like to see improvement.

2. Make it personal.

“Creating affirmations is an art. They must feel like they’re yours,” shares Ince. “Your affirmation has to create a feeling in order to change your neural pathways.” She shares an easy tip: Add your name to your affirmation, like “I, Melanie, find enjoyment in my work.”
[pullquote align=”center”]”Everyone has negative core beliefs, they just affect us differently. All of us can benefit from looking at what we’re believing.”
—Katie Sanford, Found Hope Counseling[/pullquote]

3. State your affirmation in the positive—avoid negative wording.

According to Ince, your positive affirmation shouldn’t include the phrases, “I don’t,” “I won’t,” or “I can’t.”
So rather than saying, “I won’t let people walk all over me,” your affirmation stated in the positive could be: “I am strong and my opinions matter.”

4. Resist comparisons to other people and moments in time.

The words “better,” “worse,” “less,” and “more” shouldn’t make an appearance in your affirmation. Don’t compare yourself with your past self or other people.
To make this easier, Ince explains that positive affirmations should be written in the present tense, not the future. Instead of “I will love myself,” say, “I do love myself.” Instead of “I’ll exercise more,” try: “I take care of my body every day.”

5. Be realistic, but stretch yourself.

“Your affirmations need to be realistic, or you’ll feel like you’re lying to yourself,” says Sanford. Your positive affirmation must be true yet helpful. In other words, it should feel attainable but push you toward empowerment and positive self-image.
If you don’t feel confident in a certain area, like your job, don’t create an affirmation that says you’re the next CEO. Instead, use an affirmation like, “I am skilled and resourceful. I can always figure things out.”

When and How to Implement Positive Affirmations

Now that we know how to create award-winning, life-changing affirmations, how the heck do we use them?
Combining a variety of methods works best, explains Ince. Aim to receive your affirmations visually and audibly as often as possible.
Write your affirmations on a sticky note and adhere them to your bathroom mirror or your computer monitor. “You can also record them using your cell phone and play them back to yourself,” shares Ince.
If you meditate regularly, repeat your affirmation over and over throughout your practice. “You can even write down your affirmation 10 to 15 times on a piece of paper. It can be surprising how well writing repetition works,” says Ince.
If you have a partner or friend who wants to help, they can even read or say your affirmation to you. When you hear your affirmation, like “Jasmine has fun in her life.” Respond with: “Yes, it’s true.” In this way, you’re both accepting and confirming your own affirmation.
“I’ve even used positive affirmations in group sessions. It’s helpful because as people are saying and hearing each other’s affirmations, they naturally begin to reaffirm them for each other. When someone says, ‘I’m capable,’ and a room full of people nod, the affirmation sinks in deeper,” Sanford says. She also notices that people’s postures change when they say their affirmations. Their heads are up and their shoulders are back.

The Best Time of Day for Positive Affirmations

Want your positive affirmations for success to really sink in? Start when you wake up, and end your day with them.
“In the morning, our brains are the most open to change,” says Ince. So when you’re lathering up your hair with shampoo or washing your face, repeat your affirmation a few times.
Include your affirmation in your bedtime routine, too, because your subconscious mind helps to install your affirmations as you sleep, Ince explains.
Here’s to kicking negative thoughts and dreaming easier!

How long does it take for positive affirmations to work?

Ever since Maxwell Maltz published Psycho-Cybernetics in 1960, it’s been believed that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Newer research out of the University College London indicates that it actually takes around 66 days, or about two months. “Changing your self-image or a long-held belief can take longer than that,” explains Ince. “It’s important not to give up when there’s some resistance. Keep going.”
Implementing a positive affirmation doesn’t have to be a super serious endeavor, either, encourages Ince. “Think of it as a playful exercise, an experiment.” Try repeating your affirmation for three to four weeks to see what happens. What new opportunities pop up? What new feelings or beliefs do you have about yourself and the world?
“It doesn’t take long to use your positive affirmations every day. A few minutes in the morning or throughout the day are all you need. The more reminders, the better—and the faster the change will happen,” shares Ince.
“Everyone has negative core beliefs, they just affect us differently. All of us can benefit from looking at what we’re believing,” says Sanford. “Everyone can benefit from positive affirmations.”

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No Gym Required Sweat

How Couples Yoga Can Strengthen Your Mind, Body, And Relationship

Post author By Sara Lindberg
Post date July 14, 2018

If you think finding a deeper connection with your partner, decreasing stress, enhancing your sexual relationship, and getting fit all at the same time sounds like a sweet deal, you might want to consider rolling out a yoga mat (or two).
Couples yoga is changing the way we look at the the role of exercise in relationships.

What are the benefits of couples yoga?

The benefits of couples yoga are similar to an individual yoga class and include stress reduction, increased range of motion, relief from pain, cardio and circulatory health, improved respiration and energy, better posture, and much more. Couples yoga takes these benefits one step further and also includes the element of bonding with your partner in a new way.
By creating a shared experience, the poses in couples yoga allow you and your partner to listen to each other and work together. “Couples yoga helps bring couples closer physically, emotionally, and energetically,” explains Beth Shaw, founder and CEO of YogaFit.
The benefits, Shaw says, include physical bonding, unifying goals of getting in the pose, teamwork building, and improved communication. “Couples yoga also gives couples an activity to do together that they can both improve with as time goes on,” she adds.
Psychotherapist and certified yoga practitioner Stefani Reitter says couples yoga can be a lifesaver for relationships in a rut. “Yoga can actually shift relational dynamics by decreasing the ‘fight or flight’ tendency that couples get stuck in while arguing,” she explains. “I have specific partner yoga poses that I have clients do in session and then assign for homework, so they have something to integrate into their daily routine.”

How do you get your partner involved if they’re new to yoga?

If you’re ready to sign-up for a couples yoga class, but your partner is still undecided, Topnotch Resort’s yoga instructor and art therapist Melisa Oliva recommends a one-class pass or an introductory workshop, so your partner feels invited to explore without the pressure to commit for an unlimited period of time.
Once you both commit to the idea of doing couples yoga, make sure you choose a class and instructor that works for both of you. Try to find a class that is beginner friendly so the poses won’t seem intimidating.

Are there therapeutic benefits of doing couples yoga?

Every relationship goes through its own challenges, with some more difficult than others. Finding healthy and productive ways to work through conflict or any other issues that relationships go through can help enhance and strengthen your partnership.
One of the appeals of couples yoga is the therapeutic benefits partners can experience while moving through the poses together. In fact, a study done by Loyola University Health System found that partner yoga may help couples who are struggling with sexual dysfunction by strengthening their relationship emotionally, physically, and spiritually to ultimately build a deeper connection and improve sexual health according to one of the researchers and professors.
“Even just reflecting about their shared feelings after a couples yoga class can be very beneficial, and it can even bring back a ‘lost spark’ that couples are always trying to keep alive,” explains Oliva, “giving them the opportunity to touch each other, to breathe together, and to remember the deep connection between them.”

Couples Yoga Poses to Try Together

Participating in a couples yoga class can help you build the foundation of the poses and learn from the cues of the instructor. Once you feel confident that you can do the poses on your own, try this couples yoga workout designed by Diane Malaspina, PhD, Yoga Medicine instructor, and psychologist.

Breath Awareness

Start seated in a cross-legged position with your backs leaning into each other. Rest your hands on your thighs, close your eyes, and follow your breath. Be aware of your inhales and exhales, then shift your attention to your partner’s inhales and exhales. Try to sync the breath by feeling the subtle expansion and contraction of your partner’s rib cage. Practice for 3 minutes.

Seated Easy Twist

Start seated in a cross-legged position, facing one another with your knees touching. For both partners: Reach your right hand behind you, across your back, to reach the right fingers toward the left side of your waist. Reach your left hand across and grab your partner’s right hand. Communicate with each other as to how much you’d like your partner to gently pull on your right hand to deepen the twist. Hold for 10 breaths and switch sides.

Seated Wide Leg Forward Fold

Stay seated and spread your legs wide, joining the soles of your feet with your partner’s. Reach forward and grab each other’s wrists, walking your hands to reach for their forearms. Communicate to decide who will fold first. Slowly lean back, gently pulling your partner into a forward fold. Communicate how deep you’d like to fold. Hold for 10 breaths and switch.

Seated Easy Forward Fold

For this pose, one partner is in a seated forward fold and the other is in a supported backbend. Start seated in a cross-legged position with your backs leaning up against one another. Communicate to decide who will fold forward first. For the partner folding: Walk your hands forward coming into a fold. For the other partner: Lean back, keeping your bodies in contact and your hands on the floor alongside of you, palms turned up. Allow your head to rest on the rounding of your partner’s upper back. Relax and take 10 slow breaths, then switch.

Standing Forward Fold

Stand with the back of your hips leaning into each other. Bend your knees and fold forward. Once you’ve folded, reach back and grab each others’ hands, walking your hands toward their forearms, gently drawing your partner closer. Communicate on how deep you want to go into the pose. Knees can be bent or straightened. Hold for 10 breaths.

Tree Pose

Stand next to each other. The partner on the right will balance on the left foot, and the partner on the left will balance on the right foot. Bring the the non-standing foot on to the inner shin (toes can rest on the floor or on the shin) or the inner thigh. Avoid bringing the foot to the inner knee. Open the lifted knee to the side. Partner on the right: reach your left hand out to the side to join palms with the partner on the left (who will reach the right hand out to the side to join palms). Hold for 5 to 10 breaths and switch sides.

Supported Chair

Stand facing one another, feet pointing straight forward and hip-width apart. Clasp your partner’s forearms and walk your feet back so the arms are extended. Bend the knees and send the hips back as if you were about to sit on a chair. Use the bi-directional pull on each other’s arms to stay up. Hold for 5 to 10 breaths. To release, straighten the legs and step toward your partner.

Standing Backbend

Stand facing one another, feet pointing straight forward and hip-width apart. Leave about a foot of space between your toes and your partner’s toes. Clasp around each other’s forearms with your elbows bent. Bring a slight bend to the knees. Lift from your chest, arch your upper back up, look up (but keep the neck long). The arms will straighten. Draw the shoulder blades together to open the chest. Hold for 3 to 5 breaths. Return to standing.
The benefits of couples yoga are endless for both you and your significant other. If you’re interested in trying couples yoga, make sure you read through the instructions detailed in the above exercises carefully, and refrain from any poses that cause unusual discomfort or pain.

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Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

Are You Demisexual? Here’s How To Tell

Post author By Joni Sweet
Post date July 13, 2018

Ever feel like your sexuality is, well, a bit muted compared to your friends? While they’re busy swiping right, gushing over hotties at the gym, and spilling the details of last night’s hookup, you’re struggling to see how they can get turned on so quickly by people they hardly know. It’s not that you never feel a spark—it just tends to happen after you’ve spent time building a strong emotional connection with someone first.
Well, there’s a name for that—it’s called demisexual, and it’s totally normal.
“[Demisexuality] is … a way of engaging in the world, just like being heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual,” explains Cyndi Darnell, a sex and relationship therapist in New York City.
Curious about whether you might be demisexual? We sat down with Darnell to learn about the signs of this sexual orientation, how it fits into the asexual community, and tips on dating when you crave that strong emotional connection.

What is demisexuality?

There once was a time when you had two options to define your sexuality: straight or gay. Obviously, sexuality has always been much more dynamic and vibrant than that—it’s a spectrum, after all—but now we actually have the language to describe it. One such word that has been popping up lately is demisexual. But what is demisexuality?
“While the name is new, demisexuality is a sexual orientation that has been around since people have been having sex,” says Darnell. “People who identify this way tend to not experience sexual attraction to any gender or any person until a strong emotional connection has been established—that’s the core thing.”

Is being demisexual the same as being asexual?

Sexual orientation and attraction aren’t black and white experiences. Picture a spectrum with sexuality on one end and asexuality on the other. Those in the space between often identify as “gray-asexual,” or not identifying as totally sexual or totally asexual. This space includes demisexual people.
[pullquote align=”center”]“People who identify this way tend to not experience sexual attraction to any gender or any person until a strong emotional connection has been established—that’s the core thing.”
—Cyndi Darnell, sex and relationship therapist[/pullquote]
“Not strictly a variation on asexuality, demisexuals still experience sexual attraction but in a way that centers on emotions rather than lust,” says Darnell.
Darnell estimates that about 1 percent of the population falls on the asexuality spectrum, and a portion of that group is demisexual. Understanding what this means for you can help give you a sense of belonging and provide meaning to your life, says Darnell.
“We use these labels to help identify ourselves in a community or give context to our experiences, which is especially important for people who feel that they don’t fit into mainstream boxes,” she adds.

Signs You Might Be Demisexual

While desiring a strong emotional connection with sexual partners is a pretty common experience, there’s a difference between that and actually requiring a bond before you can feel attraction at all, as tends to be the case with demisexuals. How can you tell if you’re actually demisexual?
“When it comes to sexual orientation, it’s difficult to say exactly how you know because, well, how do you know if you like pizza if you’ve never tried it?” says Darnell. “It’s really a process of coming to an awakening about yourself.”
The teenage years are typically the time that people start to notice and explore their sexuality. Remember when your classmates would decorate their bedrooms with posters of the pop idols and movie stars they thought were “cute”? If you found it challenging to understand exactly how someone could feel attracted to a person they’ve never met, that might be a sign you’re demisexual, explains Darnell.
Or maybe you find yourself deeply attracted to the personalities of people you’ve already befriended, putting their looks secondary. That primary attraction from a strong bond, rather than a hot bod, might also indicate that you’re demisexual.
“Demisexuals tend to notice that they only have those feelings of sexual attraction once they’ve developed some sort of connection to someone,” says Darnell. “They’ll be sitting around at a party, talking about who’s hot and who’s not, and they realize they don’t find anyone hot.”
A less fortunate way people tend to find out they’re demisexual is being regularly labeled as “prude” or “old-fashioned.” Your friends may have teased you that you wait too long to have sex with someone and that you don’t need to wait for “the one” to have some fun. But it’s not that demisexuals are afraid of sex or avoiding it—they just have to spend time building that strong emotional connection in order to get turned on by someone.
Tapping into the asexual community can be a helpful way to determine whether or not you’re demisexual. Darnell recommends exploring the forums of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) and related Facebook groups.
“These are places you can go and hang out with other people who have been in those communities a bit longer and see what the different options are. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach,” she says.

Dating as a Demisexual

Between random hookups and online dating, it seems like the world has become increasingly casual about sex. There’s nothing wrong with that—but where does that leave people who need that deep emotional bond to feel attracted to someone?
Fortunately, there are some ways to make it work for you. Here are some tips for dating as a demisexual.

Choose progressive online dating platforms.

Bumble and Tinder tend to be more focused on hooking up, which might not make them the best place for demisexuals to have dating success, says Darnell.
“More progressive sites have categories where you can choose demisexual as part of your identity. Choose dating sites that will fit the expectation that you need to get to know someone first, and you don’t want to go near sex on your first few dates,” she says. Try OKCupid or Match.com, where you can include more information about what you’re looking for.
[pullquote align=”center”]It will feel truly refreshing when you meet someone who not only respects your intentions but also embraces them in an effort to build a deep relationship with you.[/pullquote]
That being said, you don’t have to publicly label yourself as demisexual if you don’t want to. Feel it out, and embrace the approach that feels most comfortable to you.

Be open about your needs.

Regardless of whether or not you slap the demisexual label on your online dating profile, it’s important to express your needs to people you’re dating. Be upfront about your desire to get to know someone before you want to jump into bed with them. These are totally normal desires in the dating world for demisexuals as well as people all over the sexuality spectrum. Letting potential partners know what would be a meaningful romantic experience for you helps you both evaluate whether or not the relationship is a good fit.

Stay true to your intentions.

People have all different expectations when they enter the dating world. It’s important to determine your intentions and stay strong if someone tries to sway you in another direction.
“Do not allow yourself to be ambushed or bullied into doing something you don’t want to do,” says Darnell. “It’s hard, because no one wants to feel rejected, but if someone is going to rush you into something you don’t want, that person is not listening to you, and there’s a strong possibility that he or she is not going to be a good match for you, no matter what.”
And it will feel truly refreshing when you meet someone who not only respects your intentions but also embraces them in an effort to build a deep relationship with you.

Consider dating other demisexuals.

While demisexuals comprise only a small school of all the fish in the sea, they might be your best bet for finding a great partner.
“Finding other folks in the community and on the gray spectrum might be a better match for you,” says Darnell. “But remember, there’s lots of people who may not identify as demisexual, but value strong emotional connections. You can be many things at once.”
Sexuality is a fluid thing for many people. Pay attention to what feels right for you, and embrace that—even if it changes throughout your life.
“A demisexual’s responsive desire may change and shift along with the libido levels of people of many orientations. A person can have multiple orientations, so someone may identify as demisexual alongside a lot of other labels that can give definition to one’s erotic place in the world,” says Darnell.

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Nosh

The Best Foods To Eat To Alleviate Anxiety (And Which To Skip)

Post author By Wendy Rose Gould
Post date July 13, 2018

When we reach for that king-sized candy bar or order the extra-cheesy bread at dinner, it’s not like we’re dooming ourselves to a future of failure. However, it’s important to recognize that all the seemingly insignificant dietary choices we make throughout the day can actually have an effect on how we feel. Not just physically (anyone else feel like they have to be rolled away from the dinner table after a particularly heavy meal?), but also in terms of our mental state.
“Think about how certain meals make you feel,” says Alex Caspero, a registered dietitian and nationally recognized nutritionist. “Without even knowing the science behind it, we all know how different we feel after eating a donut versus eating a salad.”

HealthyWay — iStock/Foxys_forest_manufacture

With Caspero’s and another registered dietitian’s expert input, we’ve outlined some of the worst food offenders that can potentially contribute to mental issues such as anxiety and “foggy brain,” and discovered some delicious alternatives.

Why It’s Important to Consume With Care

Before we dive into foods that may negatively affect our mental state, let’s first get into the science behind why food is so closely related with our mood.
“Food provides us with tons of nutrients, many of which are the precursors to our neurotransmitters, which work to communicate within our brain. How well these neurotransmitters communicate and what they communicate is affected by what we eat,” explains Lisa Hayim, a registered dietitian and founder of The Well Necessities and TWNtv.

Some foods can trigger too much of a specific neurotransmitter, which can have a negative impact on our mental state. For example, glutamate—found in monosodium glutamate (MSG), which is an ingredient in many preservative-ridden foods—is a neurotransmitter that can be toxic to the brain in large doses.
Contrarily, lack of certain foods means our bodies aren’t sending enough of a specific neurotransmitter to our brains. For example, a neurotransmitter that we want more of is serotonin.

“Anxiety is alleviated by serotonin, a neurotransmitter that regulates sleep and appetite, but also happiness. The lower [we are] in serotonin, the more anxious or depressed we may feel,” says Hayim. “Surprisingly, about 95 percent of serotonin is produced in the gut. That means that having a healthy gut is a key element to producing serotonin that gets delivered to the brain.”
[pullquote align=”center”]“There likely isn’t any blanket food that contributes to anxiety for all of us, as the gut is unique. Therefore, what works for one person doesn’t mean it will work for another. Each of our guts is different, and what’s there is just as important as what’s not there.”
—Alex Caspero, registered dietitian[/pullquote]
There are more factors at play aside from neurotransmitters, of course. Ultimately, it boils down to how certain foods are processed in our bodies and how that process affects our brain. Let’s get into some specifics.

Foods to Avoid Eating in Excess

We want to begin this section by saying that, while there are certain foods that generally ought to be avoided in excess, everyone’s body is different.

“There likely isn’t any blanket food that contributes to anxiety for all of us, as the gut is unique. Therefore, what works for one person doesn’t mean it will work for another. Each of our guts is different, and what’s there is just as important as what’s not there,” says Caspero.
That said, repeatedly loading up on unhealthy foods can make us feel sluggish, tired, foggy-brained, and potentially anxious—all of which can affect numerous aspects of our lives.

One of the more notorious culprits associated with a poor mental state is highly processed foods, which tend to be high in chemical preservatives, artificial flavors and colorings, trans fats, and MSG. The body struggles to process these foods adequately, and they tend to do very little in terms of our daily recommended vitamin, protein, and mineral intake. In other words, they’re largely empty foods.
[pullquote align=”center”]“With my clients, I like to recommend filling up on lots of plant-based foods while also allowing for treat foods, guilt-free, [since] guilt surrounding food can also increase negative feelings.”
—Alex Caspero, registered dietitian[/pullquote]
Both of our experts agreed that it’s best to avoid trans fats as much as you can. Trans fats are commonly found in fried foods, baked goods, partially hydrogenated foods like non-dairy shelf stable creamer, margarine, and salty snacks.
“Trans fats affect blood flow to the brain, and some studies have linked them to depression and anxiety,” Hayim says.

When consumed in large quantities, coffee and artificial sweeteners can also contribute to increased anxiety.
“Coffee has some amazing nutritional benefits, but it also increases our production of cortisol, which is our ‘flight or fight’ hormone. This can make us feel jittery and can exacerbate anxiety,” says Hayim. “Artificial sweeteners, like those found in ‘diet’ products or in the pink, blue, or yellow packet, may destroy an otherwise healthy gut and reduce levels of serotonin, that feel-good hormone.”

Foods that Help Foster a Healthier State of Mind

Now that we’ve talked about foods you should avoid in excess, let’s dive into the foods that tend to have a positive effect on the gut and, therefore, our physical and mental health.

Salmon

First up is that delicious pink fish we all know and love: salmon.
“Salmon is rich in DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) and EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid), which are omega-3 fatty acids that play an important role in normal brain function,” says Hayim. “Several studies have also suggested that omega-3 fatty acids play a role in alleviating [linkbuilder id=”6755″ text=”depression symptoms”].”

The American Heart Association recommends eating fatty fish, such as salmon, two or three times per week. When shopping, choose wild-caught, no-color-added salmon for the best nutritional effects.

Lentils

Hayim also recommends adding lentils to your diet, which are a plant-based protein that’s rich in folate. Studies indicate that folate plays a role in the production of mood-boosting neurotransmitters like serotonin.

Fermented Foods & Probiotics

Another type of food—or rather, a food genre—that’s good to regularly incorporate into your diet for an improved mental state is fermented food and probiotics.
“Eating fermented food can help to boost levels of good bacteria,” notes Caspero. “Sauerkraut with live cultures and non-heat-treated yogurt with live bacteria, kimchi, and kefir are all great options.”

Consider this news the perfect opportunity to patronize your local German or Korean establishment.
“Additionally,” she says, “a daily probiotic can help reduce anxiety levels. Studies suggest that combination probiotics of the lactobacillus and bifidobacterium family can ease digestion, suppress ‘bad’ bacteria, and support the immune system.”

Turmeric

It may be an ultra-buzzy ingredient at the moment, but that’s for good reason. Turmeric contains a compound called curcumin, which has been shown to foster brain health and alleviate anxiety.

A 2014 study has also shown it can boost levels of DHA (that omega-3 fatty acid also found in salmon that we talked about above) in the brain. Because of its high antioxidant levels, it’s good at keeping you healthy in general.

Adaptogens

Adaptogens can also help boost mental agility and reduce anxiety, says Caspero. An example of an adaptogen is an herb called rhodiola rosea.

“Rhodiola rosea root extract helps to stabilize stress levels so the body can easy ‘adapt’ to physical and environmental strains,” says Caspero. “A UCLA study conducted in 2008 found that those who took the herb for 10 weeks found a significant improvement in their anxiety levels. I like HUM’s Big Chill supplement, which contains 500mg of rhodiola extract.”
Other adaptogens include holy basil, maca, and chaga and reishi mushrooms.

Chamomile

Now’s the perfect time to incorporate chamomile tea or chamomile extract into your nightly routine. This calming plant contains high levels of antioxidants, and studies have shown that it effectively reduces anxiety.
https://twitter.com/chillinlaidback/status/1007849910069334021
Many people have chamomile tea in the evening because it also helps coax them to sleep.

Shiitake Mushrooms

“Shiitake mushrooms contain selenium and magnesium, two minerals that play a role in mood and are typically low in the Western diet,” says Hayim. “They also play a role in fighting inflammation.”

Final Note

Hopefully all the above helped further convince you of what you already know: It’s important to choose foods that fuel your mind and body versus blindly consuming. This article isn’t meant to force you into a rigid diet, but rather to encourage you to be more aware of what you’re putting into your body.

“Enjoying vibrant, nutrient-rich food typically makes us feel more energized and therefore able to tackle the day in a different way. That’s not to say that you should avoid treats completely. Some research shows the pleasurable effects we get from eating a delicious food—say, an ice cream cone on a hot summer day—that actually improves mood, not decreases it,” notes Caspero. “With my clients, I like to recommend filling up on lots of plant-based foods while also allowing for treat foods, guilt-free, [since] guilt surrounding food can also increase negative feelings.”

Basically, what we’re saying is that, while nobody can maintain a perfect diet, and while treats are okay in moderation, we ought to strive toward better care of our bodies and brains. So here’s to many days ahead that are filled with vibrant, colorful, plant-based diets and fewer processed foods.

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Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

Mr. Right (Enough): What Does It Mean To Settle?

Post author By HealthyWay Staff Writer
Post date July 13, 2018

Picture, for a moment, the perfect romance.
If you’re like us, your mind just built a quick movie, complete with an awkward introduction, a passionate first kiss (probably taking place at the quirky cupcake shop you own, because hey, a fantasy’s a fantasy), and a tear-jerking proposal. “They lived happily ever after, baking cupcakes and making love.” Roll credits, right?

In real life, things don’t always work out so cleanly. Your husband might have a few disgusting habits, he might be losing some hair, and he almost certainly won’t live up to the “man of your dreams” you’ve got in your head (after all, it’s pretty hard to live up to Idris Elba).
You’ll likely end up settling for someone who doesn’t check all the boxes of a “perfect” partner—and, contrary to what Hollywood wants you to believe, that’s totally fine.

For starters, you’re certainly not alone. According to one survey, about 73 percent of people say their “true love” got away. Those respondents said they settled for their current relationships. That means the vast majority of people are trying to make the best they can with who they’ve got.
If that sounds like bad news, keep this in mind: By settling for Mr. Right Now, you’re probably setting yourself up for a happier life.

“The media makes romance look easy,” Alisha Powell, PhD, a licensed clinical social worker, tells HealthyWay. “But honestly, it’s just two people who are willing to put in the work and create something where they both feel valued and understood. Fireworks don’t always happen, and friendships can last a lot longer than initial sparks, which go out quickly.”

That’s not to say that “love at first sight” always fails, but it’s not a great basis for a healthy adult relationship.

By the way, that initial spark certainly doesn’t last.

Let’s tackle the first problem with waiting for Mr. Right: If you’re relying on your body to tell you when you’ve found the perfect person, you’re making a mistake.

The feeling of love—those butterflies in your stomach, the sweaty palms, and the passion you feel when looking at your partner—lasts for about a year, according to research performed at the University of Pavia in Italy. A team led by clinical pathologist Enzo Emanuele found that romantic love was linked to levels of nerve growth factor (NGF), a chemical believed to be involved in the formation of new bonds.
In new relationships, participants experienced a spike of NGF; after about a year, however, their NGF levels were comparable to those of single people. In other words, even in the best relationships, that first wave of passion starts to fade over time. If you never felt that spark with your partner, that’s good news, in a sense, since you’re not really missing out on anything after about a year or so.
https://twitter.com/justahuman2b/status/987760171584802816
So to recap: Love (or the romantic feelings we associate with new love) is just a chemical, and the vast majority of people don’t marry their true love. Every Disney movie is a lie, and you’ll never marry into royalty.
That’s the bad news, but stay with us on this. It gets less depressing from here.

We also know that the security of a marriage can make people happier.

The good news is that—at least in most Western societies—a strong marriage can be enormously beneficial for your overall happiness, and factors like communication and flexibility are far more important than a storybook romance.

A 2017 paper found that married people reported higher life satisfaction than their single contemporaries, and a 2018 study found that couples became happier with their marriages over time, with happiness peaking around the 20-year mark. In other words, if you’re able to stay with the same person and put in the work, the relationship will likely improve over time.
And we’ve got plenty of research to show that marriages and other close relationships have a positive influence on overall health. The moral: If you want to live a healthy, happy, goal-driven life, find a suitable partner and start building your relationship.

“When we gathered together everything we knew about them about at age 50, it wasn’t their middle-age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old—it was how satisfied they were in their relationships,” said psychiatrist Robert Waldinger in a popular TED Talk. Waldinger directed the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest studies of adult life ever performed. “The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.”

So what really makes for a happy marriage?

Building a [linkbuilder id=”6740″ text=”happy marriage”] isn’t complicated, but it isn’t easy, either. You don’t need a perfect partner; you need a good friend with a decent work ethic and a sense of empathy.
[pullquote align=”center”]”There’s a common misconception that relationships are always 50-50, and that’s not the case. Sometimes it’s 80-20 or 60-40. What matters at the end of the day is that trust and commitment are present.”
—Alisha Powell, PhD, licensed clinical social worker[/pullquote]
For starters, you should have a partner who’s willing to work as hard as you. Generally speaking, marriages are stronger when both partners share roles and responsibilities. The National Survey of Marital Strengths found that role sharing is of “growing importance” in marriage satisfaction, so if you’d characterize your current relationship as unequal, it’s time to make a change.

However, Powell says that building an equal relationship doesn’t always mean splitting up chore lists; it’s more about understanding one another and applying consistent effort towards the relationship itself.
“There’s a common misconception that relationships are always 50-50, and that’s not the case,” she notes. “Sometimes, it’s 80-20 or 60-40. What matters at the end of the day is that trust and commitment are present. It takes a lot of work, and each partner has to decide every day that they want to be with the other person. It’s fun and can be fulfilling, but it also requires dedication. Tough times will either draw you closer to your partner or push you further away from them.”

Powell recommends looking for a few key characteristics in your potential lifemate. If your relationship is healthy from the start, you won’t have to do as much work to keep the marriage healthy.
“Mutual respect, shared goals and values, trust, and commitment [are] factors that are present in every successful and healthy relationship,” she says. “Each couple has to decide what works for them and act accordingly. Communication about areas of disagreement is also important and should be free of defensiveness and criticism in order to maintain a healthy relationship.”

Yeah, yeah, we know; at this point, everyone knows communication is important. Still, research backs that up, and the National Survey of Marriage Strengths found that communication, flexibility, closeness, and conflict resolution—in that order—are the most effective categories for predicting marriage strength. Note that “complete and total perfection” isn’t one of the categories.

Relationships take work. That’s why “settling” isn’t always settling.

Sure, you could wait around for the perfect person to sweep you off of your feet, but you’re going to be waiting for quite a while—and even if you find someone who checks all of the boxes, you’re still going to have to put in the work.

Sometimes, it’s (gasp) better to settle for someone who checks most of those boxes. They might have a few annoying habits, and they might not find themselves modeling underwear anytime soon, but that’s not what makes a relationship worthwhile anyway.
[pullquote align=”center”]”It’s not outdated to expect to be attracted to your partner. It’s just possible that it may not be at first sight. We all might want those initial butterflies—but they may come over time.”
—Alisha Powell, PhD, licensed clinical social worker[/pullquote]
“It’s important to remember that everyone has baggage,” says Powell, “and whether it’s from [linkbuilder id=”6741″ text=”past relationships”] or from childhood, it still exists. It’s important to look for ways to grow with your partner and learn how to support each other. Consider where you want to be as a person long-term, and decide if the person you’re with is complementary to your goals and aspirations. Don’t be afraid to have conversations about sensitive topics, and be honest about how you feel without being accusatory.”
Maybe “settling” is the wrong term. Powell says building a healthy relationship simply means taking the time to look past your partner’s faults and to work with them on building your relationship. We’d call that “foundation building.” That sounds nicer, right?

And before we receive thousands of angry emails, we’d like to make this point clear: Settling certainly doesn’t mean starting a long-term relationship with someone who doesn’t interest you in the slightest. You should have a mutual attraction, even if you never felt a spark during the early days of your courtship.
“It’s not outdated to expect to be attracted to your partner,” Powell says, “It’s just possible that it may not be at first sight. We all might want those initial butterflies—but they may come over time. And you want your partner to also be attracted to you. It’s important to recognize when you are not attracted to someone in any way and [to] not force something that will never happen.”

With that said, instead of waiting for perfection, learn to look past the occasional flaw. Look for someone who communicates effectively—someone who’s stable, kind, and ready to work with you. That approach helps you build a love that’s far stronger and more rewarding than that first spark of attraction. Real love takes much more work than you’d see in any 90-minute rom-com, and that’s love, actually.

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Collective Quizzes The Goods

Which Type Of Yoga Is Right For You?

Post author By Rachel Luebke
Post date July 13, 2018

Tags Featured

Conscious Beauty Lifestyle

7 Myths About Makeup That Need To Be Wiped Away

Post author By Nina Bahadur
Post date July 13, 2018

Wearing makeup is a completely personal choice. If you choose to do so, the number of products and styles available can be intimidating.
The good news is that there’s tons of great information and resources out there like YouTube videos, step-by-step articles, makeup forums, and Instagram tutorials.

The not-so-great news? There are tons of myths and misconceptions out there. What really happens if you sleep in a full face of makeup every night? Is it true that you can ignore expiration dates on your products, especially if you don’t use them that often? And how often do you really need to clean your makeup brushes? Here are seven common myths and misconceptions debunked.

Myth 1: If you’re going to wear makeup, you have to put on a full face of it.

“I’d say the number one misconception people have about makeup is that you need a full face of it,” explains makeup artist Suzy Gerstein. “Let’s say we’re talking about foundation. The most important thing to get right when choosing a foundation is the color match.”

“Once you match your skin tone exactly, you can apply the product sparingly and only where more coverage is needed. In fact, by letting the areas that don’t need coverage remain bare, you get a more modern, realistic look to your makeup application.”

Basically, you should wear whatever amount of makeup you are comfortable with. If you only want a couple of dots of concealer on some red spots, great. Excited to get a whole face of makeup on, complete with false lashes? Excellent. But don’t feel like you have to cover your whole face every single time, because you don’t.

Myth 2: Makeup is a “girly thing.”

In reality, people of all genders wear makeup, and there is nothing inherently feminine about it. Men in Hollywood often wear makeup on the red carpet, which Benedict Cumberbatch called “a wonderful thing.” And obviously, actors and actresses wear makeup while filming television shows and movies.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BkGCunigpwN/?hl=en&taken-by=jamescharles
Brands are also becoming more inclusive to all people who might be interested in makeup. Makeup artist and beauty blogger Manny Gutierrez became the first male Maybelline ambassador in 2017, after Covergirl named makeup artist and model James Charles an ambassador in 2016. More recently, makeup artist Jessica Blackler made headlines after she launched a vegan, cruelty-free, unisex makeup brand called JECCA, with products designed to address the concerns of transgender individuals—for example, covering up facial hair stubble.
“JECCA overlooks gender and celebrates individuality,” Blackler told The Cut. “We’re not a brand that concentrates on just women.”

Myth 3: It’s NBD to fall asleep with your makeup on.

If, on rare occasion, you end up sleeping in makeup after a long night, chances are that nothing bad will happen. Just don’t make it a regular occurrence—at the very least, it could irritate your skin and stain your bedding.

It could also be worse. A case study published recently by the American Academy of Ophthalmology showed one potentially disastrous outcome. When Theresa Lynch, a 50-year-old housekeeper, complained of irritated, swollen eyes, her doctors discovered that small, calcified deposits of mascara were embedded in her eyelids. The cause? She had worn heavy eye makeup almost every day for 25 years but didn’t remove it properly each night.
“I had fallen into a bad habit of wearing a lot of makeup and not washing it off,” Lynch said in an interview with The Daily Mail. “I should never have let it get this far.”
Lynch was extremely uncomfortable, and the deposits were scratching her eyes, potentially causing a risk to her vision. Her doctors were concerned about potential infections, so Lynch had surgery to remove the deposits and now has permanent scarring inside her eyelids.
https://twitter.com/EmilyHolland24/status/1014739235461423105
This is certainly an extreme case, but it shows that nasty things can happen if you consistently neglect to remove your makeup before bed. Keep makeup remover and cotton balls—or whatever your preferred makeup removal method is—in an easy-to-access place, like near your toothbrush or on your bedside table. Make taking off your products part of your bedtime routine.

Myth 4: There’s only one “right way” to apply makeup.

“Even the same person needs a different approach to her makeup depending on the season, situation, or day,” Gerstein says. “I like to tell clients to step back and look at the whole picture. …And then ask yourself: What do I need today that will make the most impact? Perhaps it’s a quick shot of blush, maybe it’s the curl of your lash, or maybe you want to skip lashes all together and give yourself a little extra help in the brow department. It could also be a statement lip, or perhaps it’s simply a good facial massage with a gorgeous vitamin C serum or facial oil.”

According to Gerstein, the best part about putting on makeup is playing and experimenting with new things.

“It’s key to throw out the ‘shoulds’ and the paint-by-numbers charts, and instead look at what is in this moment,” she recommends.

Myth 5: Natural makeup brushes are better.

In reality, so-called “natural” makeup brushes are made with animal hair. Some animal hairs could potentially cause an allergic reaction, and they may be made using cruel practices (though you can buy cruelty-free natural brushes from certain brands). Plus, animal hairs are more porous than synthetic fibers, meaning they absorb more of your product and could host harmful bacteria.
[related article_ids=1005850]

“A brush made of animal hairs is really bad,” says Jacqueline Schaffer, MD. “We want to use a makeup brush that is cruelty-free and synthetic. These are more gently packed with fine bristles, providing an even tone.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/BkTJOOpHFSv/?hl=en&taken-by=motd_cosmetics
Schaffer explains that the hairs in a natural brush can also be uneven, causing an uneven application of makeup.

Myth 6: You don’t need to clean your personal makeup brushes that often if you only use them on yourself.

Cleaning your makeup brushes can be a drag—you don’t want to damage the delicate bristles, and they can take a while to dry, which can be annoying if you want to use the brush later on that same day. According to Schaffer, we should all be cleaning our makeup brushes after every single use. But realistically, she says deep cleaning them once or twice a week is okay, too. Regular brush cleanings will make your brushes last longer. Plus, sticking to clean brushes is good for your skin in the long run.

Wash your makeup brushes weekly. If you don’t have makeup brush cleaner, you can use a facial cleanser to clean your brushes instead. pic.twitter.com/All8LusdCM

— Indigospachelmsford (@indigospalowell) July 6, 2018

“You will end up saving money on your skincare products because you won’t have all that bacteria building up on your skin,” she says. “You won’t need to cover up that much because you won’t be the cause of your skin reacting.”
Invest in some brush cleaning wipes, baby shampoo, or special brush shampoo and commit to a regular cleaning schedule. It’s particularly important to clean beauty blenders or similar items after every use because they absorb a lot of product.

In a similar vein, if you ever get your makeup done professionally, make sure the brushes are clean first. Professional makeup artists know exactly how important this is, so anyone who tries to use dirty brushes may be inexperienced.

Myth 7: You can ignore makeup expiration dates.

Yes, I hate to break it to you, but makeup expires—and it’s very important to pay attention to that. Firstly, the consistency of the products will change over time which can make them less effective. But more importantly, old makeup can harbor bacteria which could irritate your skin and eyes.

“Look at when you bought your mascara,” Schaffer advises. “Past the four-month marker, it can build up bacteria and cause serious damage. The mascara is more likely to be clumpy, so it will weigh down your lashes, and they will fall off faster. It can also make you look older.”

Generally speaking, Schaffer says, “If you use makeup that is too old, you’re going to ruin your skin.” So go through your makeup collection and toss anything that’s expired, pronto.

Ultimately, makeup means different things to different people.

For some, it’s an art form. Others use it to feel more confident or incorporate it into their daily routines. Some wear it as part of their professional uniform, and others love nothing more than playing with fun looks for a night out. And of course, some people opt not to wear makeup at all.

Many so-called makeup “rules” are stylistic, and you should feel free to ignore them—who cares if a green eyeshadow doesn’t “fit” with your skin tone?—but other guidelines are expert-backed, and they are definitely worth following.
So always be sure to clean your brushes, follow expiration dates, and wipe off your makeup before you go to bed. Everything else is up to you.

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Collective Recipes The Goods

Salmon Chimichurri Salad

Post author By Rachel Luebke
Post date July 12, 2018

A colorful grilled salad that’s perfect for spring and summer. If you’re looking for fresh, intense flavors, you’ll want to try this.