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Favorite Finds Motherhood

The Ultimate (And Updated) Newborn Baby Checklist

Here’s a secret most experienced moms will tell you: You really don’t need a lot of gear. We promise!
In the very beginning, you need very few essentials: diapers and wipes, a stroller and/or car seat, a carrier, onesies, and burp clothes. Seriously. The rest is all extra.
But! It’s always good to have extra stuff, and eventually almost all of it becomes necessary.

Baby Checklist Part 1: The Absolute Essentials

Make sure to have these on hand before the baby arrives.

Diapers

Most companies now offer a subscription package so you don’t have to think about it each month. (See Honest here!) Do NOT go crazy on the newborn diapers. She may outgrow them really quickly and then you’ll have way too many teeny tiny diapers on your hands.

Burp Cloths

Any old thing will do, really, so hand-me-downs are great here. But you can also go for gorgeous ones that double as swaddle blankets, like these from aden + anais.

Baby Carrier

A few mom faves: The Baby K’tan, the Ergobaby (with infant insert, which I will say is hot in the summer), or the Moby Wrap. Before you buy anything, borrow from a friend. You might spend a few days in agony, or you might be really happy and comfortable. It’s worth doing some investigating before investing.

Car Seat

It’s best to stay on top of Consumer Reports since the guidelines for car seats change all the time. (In fact, what you use for one kid might not be okay for the next!) But some very reliable seats are the Graco SnugRide Click Connect and the Safety 1st Grow and Go 3-in-1 car seat.
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Stroller

This depends a lot on your particular circumstances. If you’re in a city where you walk far more than you drive, you’ll want something robust, like the Bugaboo, City Mini or UPPAbaby Vista.

Wipes

You do not need them to be warmed (really), but it helps to have a dispenser, so you can pull them out with one hand.

Bottles

Now if you’re planning to breastfeed, you may not need these. But if you’re planning to pump at all (or you’re going with formula), these are a must-have. Most will do—the baby has to like the feel of the nipple—but if you want to go eco-friendly, try a Philips AVENT Glass Bottle (don’t forget the sleeve!) or Lifefactory Glass Bottles. (So many cute colors!)
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Nice-to-Have Items for Your Baby Checklist

Swaddles

The Woombie or the Miracle Blanket make swaddling really easy. The nurses make it look easy, BUT IT ISN’T. You’ll want some help, trust me.

Snuggle Spots

The Snuggle Me or DockATot are lifesavers. Put the baby down in the coziest little cocoon. Just be sure to keep an eye on her for safety.

NoseFrida

Get all that snot out.

Sleep Sound Machine

This can be a machine you buy for the baby or just an app on your phone that plays all sorts of sounds, from a washing machine to a rainfall. Either way, the white noise will be your new best friend.
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Rock ’n Play Sleeper

This cult fave item does double duty! Get the baby to sleep…or entertain her.

Hooded Towels

Keep baby super snug (and his head from getting cold).

Newborn Nightgowns

Wayyyy easier than stuffing their legs in footie pajamas. How adorable are these?

Bottle Drying Rack

Just so the bottles don’t get mixed in with the dishes. Try the Boon Lawn Drying Rack (so cute!) or this adorable one with a drainer.

Bottle Sterilizer

This puppy saved my life! No more boiling water and dipping in nipples. Wash them, put them in, press “start”—and done!

Pacifier

Not all babies are into these (my daughter wouldn’t take one). And they can be controversial (some point out that babies eventually need to be weaned, while others claim it’s not great for their teeth), but in those early months it can be a lifesaver. Try this eco-friendly option.
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Baby Checklist Items for Around the House

Baby Monitor

How big is your house or apartment? Ours was so small there was absolutely zero need for a monitor. (Babies can scream, have you heard?) But if you want to keep an eye on the little one, you have plenty of choices, from low-tech to very high. The latest is an Alexa baby monitor and speaker.

Co-Sleeper

If your little one isn’t content in her crib, try something like the Halo Bassinest to keep her close—without worrying you’ll roll over her.

Bouncer

How much do you want to do? If you’re okay with bouncing the chair yourself, go with the BabyBjörn Bouncer. Unlike so much other baby stuff, it won’t be an eyesore in the middle of the living room. If you want all the bells and whistles, go for the mamaRoo4. You can control it with your phone!

Diaper Pail

Trust me, you’re going to want one of these. And don’t forget the bags. Running out is the worst.
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Changing Station

Set it up so it makes sense for you—everything within reach. You can go really streamlined or really fancy, but the point is that you develop a system that works for you. I loved having the changing table as part of a dresser—major space saver. Whatever you choose, you’ll need a pad too.

A Good Nursing Chair

This can be a glider or just something you’re happy sitting in for hours. I was comfortable on the IKEA Poang. Basically you want to make sure you find something with armrests, because those arms will get realllllllly tired.

Lots and Lots of Pillows

You can get special nursing pillows (more below), but you can also just pile up a bunch of pillows you already have. They really do help with nursing.

Baby Bathtub

It’s not easy bending over the tub. You can set this sucker on the counter or in the bathtub without having to worry about the baby slipping out of your arms.
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Baby Checklist Essentials for You

Lansinoh

Those nips are going to need some love. Keep it near you at all times.

Pads

For your vagina and for your boobs. Your vagina will probably need overnight pads for a long while. If you have leaky boobs, they will love these washable, eco-friendly nursing pads.

Hospital-Grade Breast Pump (or Something Close)

There are so many breast pumps on the market these days. The old reliable is the Medela; the Pump in Style is a good go-to. If you want something more discreet, the new Willow Pump is sort of incredible.

My Brest Friend

If your regular bed pillows aren’t doing the trick, keep this tucked around you to keep you from breaking your back as you nurse.

Yoga Ball

Yoga balls are ideal for bouncing the baby when she won’t. stop. crying. It’ll keep your arms and legs from getting tired, plus it can do double duty when you get back to your flow.

Food Delivery

Anything! Have your friends set up a meal train delivery. Ask your parents or friends to cook ahead of time. Cook and freeze meals before you go into labor. Chances are you won’t have the time, energy, or desire to cook for a while.

Nice Soap and Shampoo

No real reason for this, but you need to feel good, too. Treat yourself, mama—you’ll need it.
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Categories
Healthy Her Way Lifestyle Uncategorized

SWEAT Trainer Kelsey Wells

This week’s Healthy Her Way feature needs no introduction—but we’re going to try our best to put into words just how incredible this woman truly is. With 1.3 million followers (and counting) on Instagram, Kelsey Wells definitely knows how to inspire and empower people across the world—and we can’t help but fangirl over this talented mama.
When our editorial team first sat down at HealthyWay HQ to discuss who our biggest sources of motivation were in the fitness scene, one name was spoken by almost every single woman in the room. “Kelsey Wells! I follow her workouts all the time!” and “I love her posts on Instagram, she keeps it so real!” were some of the excited comments shared amongst our team.
One can’t help but wonder if Kelsey ever envisioned just how much her postpartum fitness journey would motivate people she’s never met. But that’s exactly what has transpired since Kelsey began to share her story just a few years ago.
Shortly after giving birth to her son, Anderson, about four years ago, Kelsey’s doctor recommended exercise to help her combat postpartum anxiety. Prior to this point in time, proper nutrition and regular exercise were not priorities in Kelsey’s daily life, but she knew she needed to make changes in order to learn to love herself again and appreciate her body.  
In an Instagram post, Kelsey shared that she struggled with her fitness journey at first and fell off track a few times (it happens to the best of us), but she didn’t let that stop her hustle.  
“There is no secret to my transformation. There is simply four years of hard work and consistency. Of trying and failing and learning and pushing forward. You don’t need hours in a gym or extreme diets. You need a healthy mindset and to never give up on yourself,” she wrote.
Kelsey’s message of perseverance and self-love is so important, and we admire how she uses her platform to share these motivational messages with those who may need to hear these words the most.
With her family, friends, and husband Ryan in her corner, Kelsey has created an extremely supportive community of women who want to prioritize exercise and a positive mindset in their daily lives. As a SWEAT trainer and the creator of the PWR workout programs, Kelsey provides something for everyone, regardless of where you are on your fitness journey. She even has crafted workouts for fellow mothers in all stages of pregnancy and postpartum fitness.
The more we get to know the woman behind the workouts, the more we’re in awe of all that Kelsey has accomplished in such a short amount of time. We couldn’t be more honored to share this feature with our readers and can’t wait to see what else Kelsey will accomplish in the years to come.
HealthyWay

A Day in the Life

What does your daily routine look like?

Anderson wakes me up at 6 a.m. ready to start the day. He’s the best alarm clock.
Then meditation: Five minutes of focus or inspirational talks every morning. This helps me to center myself and mentally prepare for the day ahead.
Skin care: I wash my face every morning and hydrate my skin with moisturiser. I make sure I moisturise my entire body.
Breakfast: Usually scrambled egg whites and vegetables or greek yogurt with honey and berries.
Get dressed for the day ahead: I liked to get dressed for the day pretty early on; this helps to set the tone of the day
11:30 to 12:30 p.m.: This is my time to get my workout in.
12:30 to 1:30 p.m.: I create all of my social content while at the gym.
1:30 to 5 p.m.: Afternoons are my hours to work on program development, creating more content, writing posts, responding to emails, and meetings with my team.

What are your favorite ways to practice self-care?

I take a very holistic approach to self-care. I always try and view my body from a place of positivity and appreciation. This helps me to prioritize my exercise and incorporate the right foods into my day—because I deserve to take care of my body.
The ways in which I practice self-care are through:

  1. Daily exercise, whether it be my PWR program, a hike, or chasing Anderson around the house. Being active and taking care of my body is important for not only my physical health but, more importantly, my mental health.
  2. Consuming a balanced diet: Fueling my body with nutrient-rich foods gives me the energy to take on my day.
  3. Meditation: Daily meditation helps me to center myself and mentally prepare myself to achieve everything I need to throughout the day.

How do you stay inspired?

I practice what I preach—I want to be happy and healthy and have a quality life with my family.
The women in my community also inspire me every day. They are the reason I do what I do. I found my true passion in fitness and truly have my dream job!
HealthyWay

HealthyWay
Photo by Edin Chavez

Disclaimer: Just so you know, if you order an item through one of our posts, we may get a small share of the sale.

Loving Lately…

What are the best products you’ve discovered recently?

What are your favorite apps?

  • Sweat app
  • Bedtime function within the clock app on Apple phones
  • Instagram

Whose Instagram is on your radar? #squadgoals #gramlove #hashtag

I love following the journeys of my community by looking at the #PWR, #PWRprogram and #KelseyWellsPWR hashtags. Their achievements inspire me to continue to work hard as a SWEAT trainer.

What’s your go-to healthy snack?

For me, one of the biggest keys to eating healthy is making sure that I never let myself get too hungry. I try to eat every two to three hours. I have a few go-to snacks that I keep on hand, which include homemade protein balls and raw veggies and fresh fruit.

What are you reading, watching, or listening to?

I’m currently re-reading You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. I love listening to or reading anything motivational. My favorite movie is The Greatest Showman—I also love the soundtrack.
HealthyWay
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Kelsey IRL

What is your bucket list travel destination?

Tahiti

What woman in history would you love to take to brunch?

I would love to go to brunch with Rosa Parks!

What are you really great at (that might embarrass you to admit)?

My dancing skills aren’t too shabby. You may have recently seen an Instagram story where I was attempting to “floss”—pretty successfully if I might add 😉

What piece of advice has impacted you the most?

A good friend told me that what people think of you is none of your business, meaning you can’t control how you are perceived so live true to yourself, be a genuine person, and don’t let the opinions of others tear you down!
HealthyWay
HealthyWay
To follow along with Kelsey as she navigates motherhood and continues to change lives with her fitness content, be sure to follow her on Instagram and download the SWEAT app.

Categories
Collective Editor's Exclusives Exclusives

Let’s Kick It: My Go-To Soccer Workout For A Strong Body And Mind

I started playing soccer at the age of three and haven’t been able to shake my love of the sport since. In middle school, my little sister and I were notorious in our neighborhood for breaking off the tops of fence posts as we attempted to chip soccer balls over the “obstacles” to each other. My dad was thrilled about the “charm” the missing pieces of fence added to our home, let me tell you. But no matter how much trouble we got in, I couldn’t wait to get home from school the next day so that I could go outside and play soccer.
After seven years of select soccer, winning gold at the Junior Olympics in Reggio Emilia, Italy, and playing on my high school varsity team, I began to feel burnt out by the sport that had always been a source of joy for me and made the difficult decision not to pursue playing soccer at the college level.
Shortly after I settled into my dorm room, however, I found myself wishing that I’d continued to play soccer at a competitive level and couldn’t help but wonder if I’d made a mistake. Craving the grass underneath my cleats, I joined an otherwise all-male intramural team and quickly became the target opponents wanted to push off the ball any chance they got.
I relished the challenge and found myself working on my footwork, core strength, and speed in my downtime after class so that I could outsmart the players who simply wanted to knock me down. As my speed and skills improved, I was knocked down less and found myself enjoying more room on the field as my teammates rallied around me.
Although the intramural team disbanded one season later, I kept working on my footwork and still use some of the same drills I’ve learned from my coaches along the way as my go-to soccer workout on days when I want to switch up my fitness routine a bit.
All you need to complete this workout is a soccer ball and some open space. I’ll typically walk across the street and execute this workout on the middle school soccer fields adjacent to my home. But this workout can also be done in a backyard, local park, or even indoors (though I would definitely recommend a room with some space and storing any valuables in a safe place). I also typically wear soccer cleats for this workout, but they are not required—just be sure to avoid any damp/wet grass if you’re in tennis shoes as you could easily slip and end up on your bum.

But first…we need to warm up those muscles.

Before you dive into the specific exercises, I strongly recommend warming up your body a bit for these soccer-style movements. I try to do my warm up in an area where I have 10+ yards to run (like the soccer field at the middle school across from my home, but a backyard setting works nicely here as well).
Using the 10-yard marker on the field, I do the following movements consecutively to complete one circuit. I do each movement down to the marker and back to the starting position before beginning the next exercise. All four exercises combined compose my mini circuit. I do this entire circuit a total of five times, taking 30-second breaks after each individual exercise.

  • Butt kicks: This movement is similar to a light jog, but instead of going with your normal gait, you bring the backs of your heels up to lightly kick your own bum as you move forward. If you don’t want grass and/or mud stains on your clothes, you can place your hands, palms facing out, near the bottom of your cheeks so that you can kick your hands instead.  
  • Side shuffles: With your hips shoulder width apart, squat low as though you are a hockey goalie (you can put your hands out in front if this helps you with balance) and shuffle sideways like a crab without crossing your legs over each other. You should be facing right or left during this movement, not looking straight ahead. Begin by facing right and then switch to facing left on your return.
  • High knees: This movement is similar to marching in place, except you are moving your body forward at a faster pace. Try to bring each knee up to about chest level and remember to keep breathing.  
  • Slow jog: Take this time to be mindful of how your body is feeling. This is a great time to catch your breath if you’re feeling a bit winded from the other exercises.  

After I’ve warmed up my body and awoken my legs from their sedentary slumber, I like to gently stretch for about five minutes. During this time I’ll typically focus on stretching my hamstrings, quads, calf muscles, and hips to prepare my body for the remaining exercises.

My Go-To Soccer Workout

Full disclosure: some of the following exercise names (i.e. juggling) are legit, but some are completely made up by my brain as a way to remember the motions involved.

Tap, Tap, Pull

With your soccer ball in between your legs, pass the ball with the inside of your right foot to the inside of your left foot (this counts as the first tap in the title). As soon as the ball touches your left foot, pass the ball slightly in front of your right foot (this counts as the second tap). The soccer ball will now be slightly in front of your right foot. Using the bottom of your right foot (specifically the front portion or ball of your foot), pull the soccer ball back until your right foot is under your torso and the ball is in front of your right foot and begin the exercise over again. Do the entire tap, tap, pull motion 10 times on each side.

Push-Pull

While balancing on your left foot, tap the soccer ball slightly forward with the inside of your right foot and then pull it back closer to your body using the bottom of your right foot as you continue to hop and balance on your left foot. Do this exercise 10 times on each side.

Juggling

Juggling is one of the cooler soccer skills in my opinion, but it isn’t as easy as it looks. Try juggling the soccer ball on your thighs for three to five minutes, using the top of your thighs to make contact with the soccer ball. You can incorporate other body parts (feet, shoulders, and head!) as you become more comfortable, but the thighs are typically a great place to start since they offer more surface area. The key is to keep your touches soft and controlled so that you are able to keep the ball close to your body.

Weave

Place eight to ten cones (or household items as makeshift cones—I personally like using mason jars) in a straight line about two steps apart. Using the inside and outside surfaces of your right foot only, weave the soccer ball through the cones—going around the outside of one cone, then the inside of another, then back to the outside until you’ve gone through the entire line of cones. Once you arrive at the other end, turn around and weave your way back using only the opposite foot. This counts as one round. Repeat this weaving motion 6 to 10 times.

Roll Over

With the soccer ball near your right foot, gently place your right foot on the side of the soccer ball and roll the ball underneath the sole of your foot so that the soccer ball winds up on your left side. Repeat the motion with your left foot to return the ball to your right side. Do this movement 20 times total, switching your dominant foot with each roll.

Toe Taps

With the soccer ball placed in front of you, lightly tap the top of the ball with the bottom of your right foot then alternate to tap the top of the ball with the bottom of your left foot. Repeat this motion as you pick up the pace of your taps and find your rhythm. Do this for three 30 second rounds, resting for 10 to 15 seconds between each round.
Want to kick it up a notch? For an added layer of difficulty, slowly move your body and the soccer ball forward as you tap the top of the ball. This will require you to lightly push or roll the soccer ball forward as you tap. Once you have this motion down, you can try moving backward and even side-to-side while maintaining your toe tap rhythm.

Bonus: Ab Work

Keep It Up

For this exercise, imagine that the soccer ball is something extremely important to you that you do not want to drop. You want to hold this item up and keep it off the ground throughout this entire exercise (think: the floor is lava!).  
Starting in a seated position, lift both of your feet off of the ground while holding the soccer ball out in front of you. Try to hold this position for three 30 second rounds, taking 10 to 15 seconds to rest in between each round.

Ball Pass

Lay down flat on your back with your legs straight out in front of you (your feet should be hip-width apart), hold the soccer ball with both hands above your head so that the soccer ball and your body are making a straight line. Without straining your neck, keep both legs straight while bringing them up close to the center of your body and simultaneously using your arms to bring the soccer ball up to meet your legs. From there, place the ball in between your feet (squeeze tightly so that the ball cannot fall out) and bring your legs and arms back to the starting position. The soccer ball should now be in between your feet—not your hands. Repeat this 10 to 15 times—passing the ball between your feet and your hands—for 3 sets.  

Cooldown

To cool down, I will jog once or twice (depends on my mood to be honest) around the entire soccer field (you could jog around your backyard, take a lap around the playground, or even jump rope for a few minutes) before I stretch for approximately 10 to 15 minutes. I don’t have a specific stretching routine for my cool down, I just really try to listen to my body and focus on where I’m feeling a bit tight.  
When my body and mind are feeling more at ease, I like to incorporate some breathwork, specifically the equal breathing technique, to further calm my mind and slow my heart rate. In a seated position on the field, I will breathe in through my nose for 5 counts and out of my nose for 5 counts for approximately 5 to 10 minutes. This time allows me to meditate and show gratitude for my body, the environment, and the workout I just accomplished as a strong body is not complete without a strong mind.  
If you try my soccer workout, I want to know your thoughts! Post in the HealthyWay Collective Facebook group if you enjoyed this soccer-inspired sweat-sesh or let me know what exercises you would add.

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Collective Playlists The Goods

Summer Vibes

Hot new hits for chilling out on a warm evening. Throw a party, go driving, or just sit and watch the fireflies. 2018’s a summer to remember.

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Motherhood

Can Having Babies Become An Addiction?

Motherhood isn’t easy, but it can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. When a newborn is placed into a mother’s arms for the first time, she can experience a range of different emotions—including an overwhelming sense of euphoria. For some women, the feeling, which can linger throughout the first year of a child’s life, has a chance of becoming an addiction.

Mom is holding her newborn baby close to her
iStock.com/damircudic

One of the more famous cases for this is Nadya Suleman, otherwise known as “Octomom.” After giving birth to 14 children, she admitted in a 2011 interview with Oprah Winfrey that it became a type of addiction.
“I felt like a watering can with holes in it. In my delusional mind, the more I give to them, the more of me is leaking out,” she said. “When it’s empty I go back. ‘Doctor, one more.'” Some critics go as far as to call irresponsibly having children a symptom of “Octomom syndrome.”


But this isn’t the case for every woman. U.S. fertility rates are at an all-time low, and middle children are becoming rarer; according to a 2016 Pew Research Center report, American mothers between the ages of 40 and 44 had an average of 2.07 children, slightly up from the record low in 2006 (1.86) but still a whole 1.02 fewer than in 1976. With the landscape of the American family continually shifting, it’s a real possibility that large families may become a thing of the past—or could they just be getting started?


The emotions of motherhood can manifest in many different ways. For some, the newborn stage is full of warm, fuzzy feelings of being needed by the infant. For other women, it can be a difficult experience of sleep deprivation and endless cries. A woman’s urge to have another child soon after giving birth, even when she—or her family—may not be ready, can occur for a variety of reasons.

Can you really be addicted to babies?

The answer isn’t as simple as it sounds. Some people want a large family and know they can provide for each member; others have additional children without being able to devote the same love and care to older children in the family.
“An addiction is something that is out of control and substituting for something that you need to find inside of yourself,” says Gayle Peterson, a San Francisco-based licensed clinical social worker who specializes in family development. “If a woman really wants to have another child and just loves babies but is really good with her other children and able to mother the ones she has, that’s more of a bigger family concept.”

Couple holding their two babies
iStock.com/Halfpoint

Then there’s the alternative.
“If you begin having more children for selfish reasons, or because you are bored with your older children, or you are not giving them what they need but still want another baby no matter what, then that likely could be the sign of an addiction,” Peterson says.
If a woman already has children and is considering growing her brood, Peterson says, it’s important to look at the factors driving her to make this choice.
Feet of family standing together
iStock.com/paylessimages

Jessica Zucker, a clinical psychologist specializing in women’s reproductive and maternal mental health, echoes Peterson’s sentiments. Throughout her professional career, Zucker has spoken with women who want another baby to nurture because their previous children are now older and don’t need them as much anymore. For this reason, Zucker, like Peterson, feels it is important to explore the reason behind a woman’s feelings on this topic.
“When someone is considering having another child, it’s important to evaluate where these desires are coming from—is it to fill a void? Is the desire to expand the family well thought out?”
little baby sitting in car seat
iStock.com/HalfpointZucker says these feelings can also stem from the lack of a passion or purpose, as well as feeling disconnected and that a baby may bring meaning back into their lives.
“A lot of people will try for more children with this imaginative idea of who the baby may be,” she says. “We have no control over the baby we get, so it is important to evaluate the situation and look within yourself to figure out where the desire is coming from.”

For some, it’s a desire, not an addiction.

For Jennifer Bush, the overwhelming feelings of wanting another child are different. Bush and her husband were unable to conceive on their own and turned to fertility treatments to help bring their two sons into the world. After her treatments, Bush was left with three healthy embryos—a part of the process that she never considered.
“We have three embryos that are sitting on ice,” says Bush, who lives in Tampa, Florida. “I mistakenly asked the gender of the other three embryos, and now I know there is a girl in there. That really weighs heavily on my mind—that there are these three children we could potentially have.”

Embryo under microscope
iStock.com/kzenon

Because she knows it’s likely her last baby, Bush is soaking up the moments with her 11-month-old son while she can. She is also the mom of a 4-year-old boy.
“I love waking up to them, putting them to bed, taking them to school,” Bush says. “My youngest just started sleeping through the night. I didn’t even mind getting up and feeding him in the middle of the night because I know it’s probably my last baby.”
The nostalgia is already setting in, and Bush is mindful to be present in all areas of parenting her infant son.
Mom is reading a book to her infant son
iStock.com/evgenyatamanenko

“The things that used to bother me with the first one, now I just kind of let it roll off my back,” says Bush. “You want to have a schedule—and we do, but I think I let more go because he’s the second.”
Even during the hectic mornings of getting ready for work, Bush sets time aside to spend with each child, singing silly songs, letting her youngest feed until he’s smiling and cooing.
little boy having breakfast
iStock.com/NoSystem images

“You have a different closeness with a baby. They come to you when they are hungry. You are their only source of just about everything for those first six months,” she says. “I just try to make the most of every day, because when people say, ‘My kids are so annoying’—which they are for every parent—but if I could only have that annoying child. It’s a completely different perspective and appreciation when you have wanted it for so long, and when you finally get it, you don’t want to say anything along the lines of, ‘Why did I even do this?’”

Considering the Future

The transition to motherhood can be a vulnerable time for a woman’s emotional and mental well-being, according to a study conducted by researchers in the Department of Population Health at the University of Oxford. Before bringing another baby into the picture, Zucker encourages women to think about what the future looks like when adding another child to the mix—including a mom’s mental keenness.
“The idea of being loved, wanted, and needed may be a strong desire for people for a variety of reasons—perhaps based on personal or family history,” says Zucker. “We need to be mindful of our own readiness before making such a life-changing decision to undertake motherhood.”

mom and son sitting on hammock
iStock.com/AleksandarNakic

Zucker also invites families to think about the long-term implications that bringing a human into the world might mean. How it will impact your lifestyle, your relationships, your finances, and the existing children in your family?
“It’s one thing to think babies are sweet and cuddly, and it’s another thing to actually be ready to raise a human being,” Zucker says. “People should keep in mind the phases that follow infancy. Soon, babies become toddlers and dynamics become more challenging.”
HealthyWay
iStock.com/Georgijevic

Finances and demanding job schedules are just a couple of the reasons keeping Bush and her husband from moving forward with her leftover embryos. While Bush recognizes that a third child doesn’t seem to be in the cards for her family right now, the longing to bring another baby into the family is there.
“If we had a million dollars, we would definitely have another baby, but kids are expensive and my husband and I both work really long hours,” says Bush. “We don’t have a lot of downtime.”
family at home looking out window
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Peterson advises caution when considering the motives behind having additional children when a woman isn’t ready and urges parents to consider the impact it can have on a family. In larger families with upwards of eight or nine children, she says the older siblings may get saddled with parenting responsibilities that they are not mentally prepared to take on.
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“Clinically, what happens is you may get a woman who is in her 40s who does not have children,” says Peterson. “When you talk to her, you find out that, because she was so burdened as a child and really did a lot of the mothering to her younger siblings, [she] may be less likely to feel like they can parent because of these inadequate experiences from childhood.”

Making It Work for Your Family

Whether you have one child or six kids, motherhood is an exhausting, but worthwhile, adventure. From the newborn stages to the teenage years, most parents will tell you that the days are long, but the years are short. As a mom of two kids, I know that letting go and watching them turn into their own little people is one of the hardest, yet rewarding, parts of parenthood.

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For now, women like Bush, who still yearn for more children, are savoring the sweet moments of the younger years with her kids while looking forward to the future and watching herself and her children grow together.
“It’s so much fun at every stage and goes by so much faster with the [linkbuilder id=”6835″ text=”second child”],” says Bush, whose second son is hitting milestones like crawling sooner than her first.
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“With my second child, I’m kind of old school in the sense that I want time to slow down. But it’s fun to watch him grow, and I love to watch my two kids together. When they smile at each other and laugh, that’s the best thing ever.”

Categories
Collective Recipes The Goods

Jackfruit Tacos

Looking to try something new? Wrap up your summer with these exotic soft tacos, soon to be a family favorite.

Categories
Favorite Finds Motherhood

I Tested Avon Kids’ New Products: Here's Why You’ll Love Them

All I knew about kids’ bath products before I had a child was that littles smell more delicious after a bath than anything a Sugar Rush contestant ever created. But after I became a mom, I became obsessed with reading product labels, because I only wanted to use the safest products on my son’s sensitive skin.
That’s why I was so excited to hear that Avon’s calling their brand new line of kids’ bath products “100 percent fun and toxin-free”—it sounds right up my alley! And I was even more excited when Avon asked me to try out their new line with my little munchkin. Here’s what I learned after using Avon Kids during bath time this week.

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You’d think kids’ skincare products are naturally toxin-free, right?

Not so much. Most personal care products, even those intended for kids and babies, are loosely regulated by the FDA. A lot of icky ingredients, like formaldehyde, are banned from most skincare products in Europe but are still legal for American companies to include in their products. Yikes!
That’s why buying toxin-free products for your kids is so important. There’s no set standard for what makes a skincare product toxin-free, but in general, toxin-free means that a product doesn’t contain ingredients that have been linked to toxic reactions in people, such as phthalates and parabens.

Avon Kids is 100 percent fun and toxin-free.

It’s really disheartening to learn that you can’t trust most brands to make safe skincare products for children, which is why these brand new products from Avon Kids are so refreshing. Before I even tried the products, I looked at the ingredients labels: No harsh soaps. No parabens. And definitely no toxins like formaldehyde.
To become a regular bath time staple in our house, though, Avon Kids had to face the ultimate challenge: getting a toddler’s seal of approval. So we put these products to the test during bath time over the last week. Here’s what we thought of three of these toxin-free products.

1. Soapy Slime Body Cleanser

We tried the Soapy Slime Body Cleanser after a particularly messy spaghetti dinner. Kids will love the Soapy Slime Body Cleanser because of its fun texture, but let me tell you, this stuff is the dishwasher liquid of kids’ soaps.

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The ultra-thick texture of this cleanser gets rid of the kids’ equivalent of baked-on grime—hardened spaghetti noodles and sauce stains—and it does it fast, minimal scrubbing required.

2. Superfoam Body Wash

I was a little skeptical that the Superfoam Body Wash would actually work other foaming washes I’ve used just don’t work as well as regular soaps and body washes. But I was pleasantly surprised by the Superfoam Body Wash!

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It actually suds up really well, did a great job getting in my kid’s nooks and crannies, and comes in two delicious scents: Apple Burst and Sea Splash.

3. Triple Threat Shampoo, Conditioner & Detangler

My kid has fine hair that tangles easily, so I am always on the hunt for an all-in-one product that promises to clean and detangle his hair. He immediately loved the “very berry” scent (it smells like his berry-flavored medicine, which he’d eat as a treat if he could).

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I loved that the Triple Threat Shampoo, Conditioner & Detangler actually did leave his hair clean, soft, and with minimal post-bath tangles to comb out.
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There are two other products that I didn’t try in the Avon Kids line, but would love to: Bubble Trouble Bubble Bath and Hocus Pocus Lotion Moisturizer. Like the other products in the Avon Kids line, the bubble bath and moisturizer are gently formulated for kids’ sensitive skin and come in yummy scents like Marshmallow Poof, Sea Splash, and Apple Burst.
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So, do I recommend Avon Kids? Absolutely. Your kids will love the scents and textures of these bath time products, but you’ll love that Avon Kids truly is 100 percent fun and toxin-free.

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This post is presented in partnership with Avon.

Categories
Lifestyle Well-Traveled

Good To Go: Travel Essentials You Shouldn’t Leave Without

Packing for a trip is so stressful, I sometimes think it would be nice to have a crystal ball. After all, in just one afternoon you’re expected to conceptualize an entire week’s worth of outfits while trying to take into account your mood, the weather, and any unexpected plans. But even beyond having the perfect outfit (and shoes…and accessories), there are plenty of travel essentials that completely slip your mind come packing time. Suddenly you find yourself buckled in for an eight-hour flight in a dried-out cabin, searching feverishly for your lip balm.
We have all been there. And it is truly the worst. So to make sure you never find yourself in an ohh, I wish I had that moment again, we’ve rounded up the best travel essentials for your toiletry kit and beyond. Though these things might not have been at the top of your list before, this will surely become your go-to travel essentials checklist.

Travel Essentials for Health

Flying isn’t always a smooth experience. Rough air can lead to anxiety and sometimes even nausea and sickness. Insomnia is also a major villain when it comes to air travel. Fortunately, our experts have holistic tools at the ready to help.

Supplements

“I take a multivitamin and lots of vitamin C, like Emergen-C or Airborne, to boost my immune system while traveling,” says Tiffany Dowd, a global hotel expert and founder of Luxe Social Media and Luxe Tiffany. “In addition, I take magnesium supplements to help regulate my sleep, and I find it also helps my jet lag.”

Resistance Bands

Exercise post-flight is also crucial to fighting jet lag. Dowd travels with resistance bands to get a quick workout in her hotel room.

Your Fave Tea

“If I’m feeling run down after traveling, I have the hotel make me a cup of fresh-brewed ginger tea,” Dowd shares. “It’s soothing and has anti-inflammatory properties.”

Travel Essentials for Nourishment

There’s nothing worse than an inevitable airplane hangry moment. Sadly, airplane food isn’t the tastiest, and it’s never the healthiest option.

Water Bottle

“I never leave home without an empty water bottle. It saves money so you’re not constantly buying water in the airport and during the trip,” says Debbie Arcangeles, host of the podcast The Offbeat Life, a series committed to highlighting those who live location-independent lives. “I also fill the water bottle before I board the plane, so I don’t have to keep asking for water during the flight.”

Snacks

“I always pack high-protein granola bars and raw almonds, which I portion into snack-size bags,” says Dowd. “These are quick energy snacks that are easy to pack.”
“I always travel with Quest and One protein bars, because a hungry Sarah is an angry Sarah,” says Sarah Greaves-Gabbadon, Caribbean travel expert and owner of JetSetSarah.
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Tech Travel Essentials

Air travel is a perfect excuse to catch up on anything you ordinarily don’t have time for. Because you won’t have cell service and might not want to pay for wifi, you’ve got the perfect excuse to pause work to enjoy a little you time with the help of these high-tech touches.

Your Gadgets…and Noise-Canceling Headphones to Go With Them

“I need my iPhone, of course,” says Greaves-Gabbadon. “I’m currently looking for a pair of noise-canceling headphones to block out other people’s noise when I work in public spaces.”

Portable Charger

Greaves-Gabbadon, Dowd, and Arcangeles all recommend a portable charger for cell phones, as well.

Kindle

“I always have my e-reader with backlight,” says Arcangeles. “It’s a space saver, and I can even read when the lights are out so I don’t disturb the other passengers. It’s also great to have when your flight is delayed or when you have a long layover.”
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Travel Essentials for Beauty

Dry, cold air, a change in pressure, and lots of sitting can wreak havoc on a beauty regimen. Still, there are ways to maintain healthy skin while traveling with a few simple must-have beauty travel essentials for your toiletry kit.

Face Wipes

“I love having face wipes with me on the plane, especially during long flights. I can feel refreshed and clean right away,” says Arcangeles.

Sunscreen

“I always wear sunscreen when flying. You are actually exposed more to the sun’s harmful rays up in the air,” says Dowd. She recommends EltaMD UV Daily broad-spectrum sunscreen ($26) because it’s light and blends well under makeup.

Eye Cream

“I splurge on La Prairie Skin Caviar Luxe Eye Cream ($460), which is so soothing under your eyes and prevents dryness,” Dowd says. She also recommends the Malin + Goetz Replenishing Face Serum ($70) for facial hydration on a flight.

Travel Makeup

“I keep travel makeup to a minimum,” Dowd says. “I love wearing a dab of NARS Illuminator ($30). It gives you an instantly refreshed and beautiful look.” She also recommends powder bronzer by Bobbi Brown ($44) and a lengthening mascara like Lancôme Définicils ($27.50).

Lip Balm

“I discovered Lanolips 101 Ointment Superbalm ($17) and it’s since become my go-to for my chronically dry lips and cuticles,” says Greaves-Gabbadon.
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Travel Essentials for Comfort

Airplanes are incredibly cold—and dry. The air at 30,000 feet can’t hold much moisture, and adding it to the airstream in an airplane is very difficult. Flying with 300 passengers also means the flight attendants aren’t going to change the temperature just for your frozen toes.

Eye Mask

“I must have an eye mask because I take a lot of early morning flights to the Caribbean, and there is always someone in my row who just has to have the window shade open,” says Greaves-Gabbadon.

Foot Hammock

“On long-haul flights I always bring a foot hammock,” Greaves-Gabbadon says. “I’m only 4’9” so my feet don’t touch the ground on many aircraft. The straps fit over the tray table and then I just slip my feet in. It’s way more comfy than having my feet just dangle (and swell) for hours.”

Eye Drops

“I always pack rewetting eye drops, as the air is so dry on airplanes,” says Dowd.

Compression Socks

“I was recently on a 16-hour flight from Hong Kong to Boston, and on a long-haul flight like this I always wear compression socks to prevent deep vein thrombosis,” Dowd says. “I find my legs are more relaxed and less swollen when I land.”

Don’t forget your passport!

We asked our experts for anything else they like to bring with them on their trips that makes the journey a little more personal. Interestingly enough, all of their answers had to do with their passports.
“I never leave home without my passport,” says Dowd. “Whether it’s domestic or international, I’m ready to go anywhere at any time. I also always keep an extra copy of it somewhere in my bags as well as a digital copy on my phone.”
“I just got the most stylish red leather passport case from Anya Hindmarch,” says Greaves-Gabbadon. “It zips around so nothing falls out, has plenty of pockets for cards, and it’s personalized with “JetSetSarah” on the front. I won’t leave home without it.”

What to Wear on the Plane

We all want to feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible on an airplane. Still, there are some travelers who take this a little too far and show up for a flight as if they are turning in for the night. Pajamas on an airplane is not the most pulled-together look. But today’s trends tend to favor comfort and function, so it’s not difficult to throw together a stylish plane outfit that you don’t mind sitting in for hours.
“I’m usually in dark pants, ballet flats like Chanel or Paul Mayer, which are easy to get off in security, and a comfortable top, such as a ¾-sleeve top or tee from Michael Stars or Three Dots,” says Dowd. She also always brings her Hermès pashmina, which doubles as a stylish scarf and also keeps her warm during the flight. Tip: When wearing ballet flats, don’t forget to wear your no-show socks—no one wants to walk barefoot through security.
“I bring a light, long jacket to wear over my outfit,” she adds. “I’ve just discovered this new brand called Anatomie, which is super stylish and comfortable travel wear.”
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“I am a big believer in wearing anything that is a one piece, like maxi dresses and jumpsuits,” says Arcangeles. “It’s a lot less stressful to figure out how to put together an outfit, and they are super comfortable to wear while still looking stylish.”
“Most often I wear boyfriend jeans, a T-shirt, and an adidas track jacket,” says Greaves-Gabbadon. “On longer-haul flights I might swap the jeans for something softer, like harem pants or track pants. And nine times out of ten, wherever I’m flying, I’m in adidas sneakers. I’m quite the sneaker head. I customize them with Hickies so they’re easy to remove at security.”

Categories
Mindful Parenting Motherhood

On Parenting In A World Of Distraction

Recently, my 2-year-old son has started this new habit. He walks up to where I’m sitting, and he pulls on my arm. Specifically, he pulls on the wrist that is attached to the hand that is attached to my smartphone, and he asks me to get up.
If I’m being perfectly honest, it frustrates me. I don’t feel like I’m constantly on my phone, and typically I am trying to accomplish something for work when he interrupts. It wasn’t until more recently that I even considered that my distraction might be the problem—I kind of assumed he was just being a 2-year-old.

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I’ve worked from home for four years now. Even though I do have childcare pretty regularly, I also do a lot of multitasking while my kids play or sleep. I’ve worked really hard to try to maintain some kind of balance, to draw lines between work and home, but that hasn’t always gone well.
It wasn’t until my son began this habit of pulling on my arm that I realized this might be one of those seasons that isn’t as in balance as it should be. It wasn’t until I noticed how much frustration I felt being pulled away from my email or texts that I became open to the idea that I might not be doing the best job keeping the lines between motherhood and work in check, and that I might be letting tech become an unhealthy distraction.

Redefining Balance in a Digital World

When I first started to research tech distraction and parenting, I was nervous. My expectation was that I was going to find a mountain of evidence that I needed to draw hard lines between work and home. I expected I was going to walk away from my research believing I only had one choice—to give up stay-at-home parenting altogether and hire full-time care so I wasn’t so distracted by my tech devices around my kids.

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This wasn’t what I found to be true. Instead, I found experts are calling not for a complete absence of technology in family life, but a smarter, healthier approach to using and talking about technology. They’re calling for more intentional integration.

The Problem with Tech Distraction

Before I can get serious about changing the way our family approaches tech, I know I need to get clear on what problems tech-distraction creates for the modern family. Knowledge is power, right? In this case, the hope is that information will motivate lasting change in our family.

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There is a lot of research on screen time and how it impacts children, but the body of research on parental use of screens and how it impacts family is still developing. What I find interesting about the research that does exist is its logical progression.
First, there is research confirming that children are more likely to act out when their parents are distracted by tech. Specifically, a study published in Child Development reported that when parent-child interactions are frequently interrupted by technology, parents are more likely to report that their children have behavioral problems.
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Another study published in the journal Pediatrics observed families in a fast food restaurant, making note of their smartphone use and how it appeared to affect their interactions with their children. Researchers noted that 40 of the 55 observed parents used their smartphones during their meal. When left to entertain themselves (because of parental engrossment in technology), children were more likely to seek out their parents’ attention.
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“Parents who are distracted by their smartphones are more likely to see kids misbehaving because kids will have to misbehave in order to get their attention,” explains Shane Gregory Owens, PhD, a board-certified psychologist who works with families and young adults. “Parents with kids who learn that the fastest route to attention is misbehavior will end up with kids who misbehave.”
In this same study, we see another consequence of tech-distraction—parents who appeared to be very distracted by their phones were more likely to respond harshly when their children acted out or tried to get their attention.
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Most impactful, perhaps, is research on living in a digital world sponsored by AVG Antivirus. In 2015, they surveyed parents and children on family tech use and found that over half the children felt their parents were on a screen too often. Thirty-two percent of these children said the amount of time their parents spend on their phones makes them feel they are not important to their family.

Dealing with Our Tech Fascination

It is worth noting that many parents, like myself, are not unaware of the problem of technology in our lives. In the study mentioned above, 52 percent of parents admitted they were on their phones too often.
“My biggest concern … is that they’re really modeling behaviors that they’re not actually interested in their children picking up,” says Colleen Carroll, doctor of education and self-proclaimed screen freedom warrior. “It is not helping them as a parent to have credibility, and they lose the respect of their children.”

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In my own life, and what I suspect is the case in many families, using tech less is easier said than done. I am drawn to social media when I am bored, lonely, or simply exhausted. Being on a screen provides me with a positive experience that keeps me returning again and again, even when I’ve committed to using tech less.
For this reason, dealing with our tech fascination just might be the first step to a more balanced approach to technology and family life. If you find yourself compulsively reaching for your phone, Carroll offers some practical steps you can take to make phones less interesting.
“Almost all smartphones have the option to make the screens black and white instead of color,” she says. “Color saturation is one of the main addictive qualities of devices today.”
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Turning your phone to grayscale could be your first step toward becoming less fascinated with your phone. For those interested in making this switch, it’s an option usually found in the accessibility section of the general settings menu.
Next, permanently turn off all notifications on the apps on your phone. That way, you have to go out of your way to check emails, social media, or gaming apps.
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Lastly, she suggests protecting periods of time devoted to other things, like work or time with family, by turning your phone on airplane mode. It’s a simple way we can all disconnect for a bit for the good of our mental health and our relationships.

Changing the Family Culture

The goal of a healthy relationship with technology is not to give it up completely. Disconnecting entirely isn’t just impractical, it’s impossible for most.
“The idea that any of us is going to be able to be very strict about work versus family time, at least right now, it doesn’t seem possible,” says Owens.


Instead, Owens encourages parents to be very intentional about how they use tech at home. Parents who hope to see a positive change in the family dynamic surrounding technology need to step back and take a look at the family culture as a whole, according to Carroll. This can be accomplished by clearly defining your family values and then making concrete changes to center schedules and routines around them.

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“Families have success by creating designated work times where everybody can be on devices at some point,” she says. “For some families, it is between 7 and 9 p.m.; for other families, it’s more like 4 in the afternoon and 6:30.”
This time can be used in a way that works best for the family. This is the time when parents can catch up on work, kids can complete computer-based homework, and families can enjoy entertainment technology together.
[pullquote align=”center”]”The most important tool that any parent has is modeling the behavior they want to see in their kids.”
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“Then there is an agreed upon shut down time so that everybody is also following that, and then they can do the other helpful activities that are really necessary on a nightly basis,” Carroll says, suggesting reading, bedtime routines, or even watching a show together as a family.
Building this schedule or routine is the perfect time for a formal discussion as a family about what the family values most and how they plan to make that a priority over screen time.
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“The family should get together and say, ‘Here’s why we don’t spend five or six hours a night on screens or playing video games,’” she says, providing outdoor time, reading, or socializing together as activities that could be scheduled in place of mindless screen time.
These two suggestions are part of a larger point that both Owens and Carroll stress as important. Parents need to explicitly talk about technology with their children. Children will make assumptions about their family values based on what they see and hear from parents, and if we don’t talk about why we’re not devoting our lives to screens, kids will likely get caught up in being connected.
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“The most important tool that any parent has is modeling the behavior they want to see in their kids,” says Owens. “So parents want kids to pay attention to them when they’re talking, so if your kids talks to you and you are on your phone, you put down your phone and you look at your child and pay attention to them until they’re done talking.”
Additionally, he recommends wrapping up this interaction by clearly spelling out that you are going to go back to work, but that you plan to spend time together once your allotted work time is over.
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What does this mean for me and my family dynamic? That’s a question I’m still exploring, beginning with talking with my spouse about how we want to start scheduling in screen-free family time on a daily basis. As someone who has grown into adulthood on tech, these changes don’t feel easy, but I believe they are worth the improvements to our quality of life and the relationships we have with one another.

Categories
Collective Playlists The Goods

Housewarming

Let good vibes radiate through your new home with these mellow, laid back tunes. Sit back, pour yourself and your friends a glass of wine, and enjoy.