Month: October 2018

The Often-Overlooked Symptoms Of ADHD (And How To Deal With Them)

Post author By Cindy Lamothe
Post date October 5, 2018

Many of us experience bouts of restlessness. Maybe we find ourselves daydreaming during a particularly long work meeting or struggling to complete mundane activities like washing dishes or doing laundry.
All these scenarios could be signs of boredom, but what if it’s more than that? What if, like Minnesota freelance writer Pauline Campos, distraction is your normal?

woman looking distracted with laptop — iStock.com/pixelfit

From feeling jumpy and irritated to not being able to remain interested enough in a task to stay focused, Campos, 40, says managing the symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a day-to-day struggle. “Some days are productive, and others, I call it a win because I got the bare minimum done.”
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “ADHD is one of the most common childhood disorders and can continue through adolescence and into adulthood.” While most people are familiar with the hyperactive aspect of ADHD, many of the more subtle symptoms fly under the radar.
Understanding how to identify these overlooked signs of ADHD can help you find an effective treatment. Here’s what you should know.

What exactly is ADHD?

Broadly defined, ADHD is a developmental condition comprised of three main symptoms: inattention, impulsiveness, and hyperactivity (though this last one may or may not accompany the others). CHAAD, the National Resource Center on ADHD, estimates that about 10 million adults have ADHD.
The obvious signs of ADHD are symptoms due to deficits in executive functioning, says Ofra Obejas, a licensed clinical social worker and California child and family psychotherapist. “This is the area responsible for planning, prioritizing, organizing, and focus.”

Woman writing in planner calendar — iStock.com/damircudic

While the exact causes aren’t fully understood, researchers believe a combination of factors, including genetics, may play a role. Some studies have suggested that it may be due to an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain.
ADHD’s symptoms often present in varying levels of severity and, if left untreated in childhood or adulthood, can lead to behavioral, emotional, social, and academic problems. Yet the diagnosis can be tricky, as ADHD symptoms often overlap with those of other physical and psychiatric disorders such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.

Anxious woman looking out window — iStock.com/martin-dm

“A person with low self-esteem or anxiety may be suffering from ADHD first and foremost, but instead, the other concern, such as anxiety, is seen as the primary problem, when it’s really just a symptom,” wrote John M. Grohol, PsyD, a Boston clinical psychologist and founder of Psych Central.

How can we identify ADHD in adults?

For Kathryn Goetzke, entrepreneur and chief mood officer at The Mood Factory, hyperactivity doesn’t necessarily equal physical exertion. “It can also mean your brain is running around doing things, which definitely was the case for me,” she says.
Goetzke says it took her years to figure out she had ADHD, as she didn’t have classic hyperactivity. “What I did have was impulsivity,” she says.

woman shopping impulsively — iStock.com/gradyreese

In adults, this symptom can often look like blurting out an answer in a work meeting, wrote Grohol, but it can also manifest as indulgent spending patterns, conversation interruptions, and engagement in risky behaviors.
Experts point to several lesser-known symptoms that also can indicate ADHD in adults:

Hyperfocus

Hyperfocus (or flow) is a less frequently discussed symptom, but one that continues to garner attention from psychologists.
“Usually when people think of someone with ADHD, they think of someone super distracted, hyperactive, or spacing out,” says Crystal Lee, PsyD, a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles. But, she says, it’s also true that people with ADHD get hyper-focused on tasks or activities.

woman focused on art project — iStock.com/petrunjela

When your executive functions don’t work as well, Lee explains, it becomes increasingly difficult to leave one task behind and switch to another—resulting in this razor focus.
Researcher Brandon Ashinoff, who studies the cognitive and neurological deficits associated with ADHD, defined it as a state of intense concentration where a person loses track of time. “This is weird in the context of ADHD because it’s actually too much attention,” he explained in an interview with the University of Birmingham’s Ideas Lab Predictor Podcast. “You’re focused so intently on something, no other information gets into your brain essentially.”

Difficulty Controlling Emotions

Controlling your emotions requires strong regulatory functioning. Unfortunately, those with ADHD have weaker regulatory functions, which makes it harder for them to do so. This kind of emotional dysregulation, Lee says, can present as an increased aggravation to everyday events.

“You might notice that you get frustrated or irritable more quickly or that it’s harder to calm down once you’re upset.”

Bursts of Motivation Based on Interest

People sometimes mistake ADHD as a lack of motivation because people with the condition are great at finishing projects they really enjoy. “This is actually because your brain chemistry is different when you’re engaged in tasks that are rewarding,” says Lee. And it’s this brain chemistry that helps you stay focused and sustains your attention.

Tics and Fidgeting

Many adults outgrow the hyperactivity experienced as children, says Terry Matlen, a licensed clinical social worker from Detroit. But this symptom can still appear in more subtle ways such as leg swinging, pen clicking, skin picking, foot tapping, or lip chewing.

In fact, some research has suggested these seemingly nervous tics increase neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, which help with focus and attention (though more research is needed on the subject).

Hypersensitivity

People with ADHD have quite severe negative reactions to criticism or perceived criticism or rejection (known now as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). This makes it so a person is more readily hostile or becomes socially withdrawn, resulting in difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships.

Persistent Symptoms

While many of us will experience varying degrees of the aforementioned signs throughout our lives, Grohol said we should look at the whole spectrum and ask ourselves: Do my symptoms significantly impact my ability to function in two or more different areas in my life, such as at school and home, or at work and home?
https://twitter.com/arcadelaundry/status/1000236015938715648
“A person with ADHD will struggle with this inattention virtually all the time, in most situations,” Grohol said, “whereas a person who doesn’t have ADHD will be able to focus and pay attention most of the time.”

How can we identify ADHD in children?

One of the defining features of childhood ADHD is hyperactivity. Hyperactivity in children looks as though the child is in constant motion: running, climbing on things, and constantly squirming or fidgeting. This constant motion, Grohol affirmed, is above and beyond normal childhood behavior and, despite the child’s best efforts, does not seem to be within their self-control.
As with adults, childhood ADHD could also present as inattention. Inattention comes through most clearly in schoolwork, chores, or projects, and as losing or misplacing things, like an important assignment for school.

boy throwing airplane in class — iStock.com/BraunS

Children with ADHD might also display impulsive tendencies. In school, for example, they may blurt out an answer before being called on, skip in lines, and fail to wait their turn, among other things.
While boys are generally more likely to present with hyperactivity and impulsivity, the difficulty can be diagnosing ADHD altogether, Grohol tells HealthyWay: “The symptoms may appear to be just dismissed as normal ‘boy behavior.’”
He emphasizes that girls are more likely to display inattentive symptoms of ADHD compared to boys. For girls, this may look like anxiety, difficulty focusing on tasks or schoolwork, appearing not to listen when spoken to, daydreaming, low self-esteem, and appearing withdrawn. “Some girls with ADHD may also be verbally aggressive toward other children,” Grohol adds, “such as name calling, teasing, or even bullying.”

girls teasing another girl — iStock.com/FatCamera

Moreover, according to the American Psychological Association, girls are also at greater risk of developing low self-esteem, underachievement, and problems like depression and anxiety should their symptoms remain untreated.
Campos, who found out about her ADHD in her early thirties, expresses a desire to go back in time and receive her diagnosis in childhood.
“It’s hard to find out there’s a valid medical reason as an adult for all the internal turmoil you suffered as a kid—feeling different and out of place and not knowing why,” she shares.

What treatment plans are available for children?

While treatment plans for kids typically include medication and psychological intervention, children can also benefit from behavioral treatments such as more structure, specific routines, and clearly stated expectations. According to WebMD, other treatments include social skills training, support groups, and parenting skills training.

Obejas offers a two-pronged approach when working with parents. First, she encourages parents to seek education to understand what it’s like to have ADHD. This helps cultivate more empathy when relating to kids who struggle with completing a task.
“Then, I teach techniques such as writing task lists and going over them together,” she explains. She also teaches parents and children how to arrange items, helps with prioritizing, and suggests doing the fun tasks before the boring ones.

What treatment plans are available for adults?

After diagnosis, treatment plans for adults include a combination of medicine, therapy, family support, and learning to structure their environment. Receiving cognitive-behavioral therapy by ADHD-trained therapists is also recommended as a way to learn new techniques for managing symptoms.
[pullquote align=”center”]“Always for me, taking a step back, counting to five, and making sure my emotions are in a positive state through deep breathing are keys to staying in positive, healthy, productive relationships.”
—Kathryn Goetzke, entrepreneur, diagnosed with ADHD[/pullquote]
While medication doesn’t cure ADHD, it can help improve attention and reduce impulsivity. The most common ones are psychostimulants such as methylphenidate and amphetamines. Non-stimulant medications are generally given to people who can’t tolerate regular stimulants or don’t respond to them.
However, medication alone is only part of the equation—the National Resource Center on ADHD offers the following tips and strategies (link opens a PDF) for staying organized and managing your time:

Break up large projects into smaller, doable tasks.

Oftentimes, the best approach to working on complex projects is tackling them in smaller steps. For example, if you want to organize clutter in the home, do it by room rather than all at once. Rank each room from easiest to most difficult. Then, schedule a time to work, and divide the rooms into manageable sections. When the easiest room is complete, you can gradually move on to the most difficult. This approach can work for any project.

Act in the moment.

Sometimes, the best course of action is not letting things become overwhelming to begin with. This means staying in the present and acting when necessary. A simple enough example: If you pass an open drawer, close it. When you see a clothing item strewn on the floor, pause and hang it up. The same is true for loose papers or a full wastebasket that needs emptying. Creating these small habits will make things more manageable throughout your day.

Create reminders.

Set a timer for 15 minutes and focus on just one thing during that time. Once the timer goes off, you can decide whether to keep going for another slot of 15 minutes or move on to something else. It’s important to be aware of how you are feeling so as not to become overwhelmed—if you find yourself unable to concentrate, try again later that day or the next until the project is finished. The point here is to feel a sense of accomplishment in that set amount of time.
The key for living successfully, Goetzke explains, has been setting up her life in a way that feels more manageable. By using strategic resources like calendars and reminders, she doesn’t get as overwhelmed.

variety of old clocks — iStock.com/mustafagull

“Always for me, taking a step back, counting to five, and making sure my emotions are in a positive state through deep breathing are keys to staying in positive, healthy, productive relationships,” she notes. She also uses scents to help ground her in the present moment “and stop my brain from hijacking my actions.”

Create a supportive environment.

Removing judgment and criticism is one of the most important aspects of creating a supportive environment, Obejas affirms. “It’s not that the person with ADHD has a bad attitude or doesn’t care,” she says. “Yelling at someone for failing to do something they are not able to do only creates shame and avoidance.”

In fact, some studies have shown that this can cause internalized negativity and self-blame that can end up hampering functioning.
To help manage symptoms, Obejas notes, loved ones need to step in and help create an environment that supports the person with ADHD.

The Whole Picture

As with any chronic health condition, a diagnosis of ADHD does not a person make. In other words, it’s important to look at the whole picture.
[pullquote align=”center”]“As hard as it can be sometimes, this is the only way I know how to be, so I’m trying to make the best of it.”
—Pauline Campos, freelance writer, ADHD sufferer[/pullquote]
“There are pluses and minuses to having severe ADHD,” says Campos. On her bad days, she admits often feeling useless, and her husband has to pick up the slack with tasks like cleaning.
“Other times, I feel like it’s all good and tell people ADHD is my superpower.” She says it’s given her the creative power and inspiration to write across multiple genres.

This isn’t uncommon, says Matlan, who has found that people with the condition possess a heightened sense of creativity and are capable of juggling many projects at once. Research supports this idea, as some studies suggest this divergent or “chaotic” thinking style facilitates “out of the box” thinking.
For Goetzke, who simultaneously runs a company and nonprofit, no problem or challenge seems too difficult to solve. She says her mind has a way of linking things together and coming up with ideas others may not necessarily perceive.
“Most people get exhausted hearing about the projects, yet with the right support, ideas, research, and connections, I find anything is possible, and my brain loves making it happen,” she says.
Similarly, Campos tries to focus on the positive: “As hard as it can be sometimes, this is the only way I know how to be, so I’m trying to make the best of it.”

Tags social

Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

My Colleague Is Having An Affair—Should I Expose It?

Post author By Cindy Lamothe
Post date October 5, 2018

“I was depleted by their dynamics and by being triangulated into their lies.”
Sheri remembers the toll keeping secrets took on her back in 2012. At the time, the NYC resident says she was collaborating on a therapeutic theater project with two colleagues who were having an affair.
Both had led her to believe that the wife was privy to the nature of their relationship, but it soon became apparent to Sheri that wasn’t the case. She recalls one gathering at the husband’s house; she noticed his wife sitting alone in the corner of a massive living room while everyone was in the backyard and kitchen.

“It was bizarre and sad,” Sheri tells HealthyWay. “While [the wife] understood [my colleagues] worked together for many years, her affect and isolation suggested she may have suspected more was happening but was misled to believe it was a platonic relationship.”

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

The science of infidelity is still murky territory and the statistics, well, bleak. Take for instance, this stat from private investigating agency Trustify, showing that 36 percent of men and women admit to having an affair with a co-worker (and this doesn’t account for those who don’t own up to the fact).
Since cheating includes a spectrum of behaviors, there’s no way to pinpoint an exact number of how many people are unfaithful, but what we do know for sure is that divorce rates in the U.S. are staggeringly high. According to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.

While cheating has a negative emotional impact on all involved, one lesser talked about effect is the one on bystanders: mainly, the witnesses to these clandestine relationships.
“It puts the third party in an untenable position,” says NYC family therapist, Kathryn Smerling, PhD, who specializes in creating healthy and meaningful relationships. “If she admits to seeing it, it could destroy her relationship with these people, and it makes her the secret keeper, and that’s a horrible position to have.”

We asked Sheri what she did after finding out.

Sheri says that the clandestine way in which her colleagues concealed the truth of their relationship around certain people reinforced to her their lack of transparency.
After weighing her options, she decided to speak with her colleagues about her concerns, but she says this did not go over well.
“I was characterized as irrational and difficult for insisting on honesty.”

After this eventful meeting, Sheri says she felt disoriented from the gaslighting and absence of any sort of ownership or remorse. But confiding in her colleagues didn’t lead to any kind of meaningful resolution. Instead, her refusal to be complicit in their dishonesty only spurred anger, she says, and this led to a major falling out.
Her colleagues’ toxic behavior afterward took more than an emotional toll, Sheri says. She began experiencing physical symptoms from the stress soon after. “My back went out, and I evidenced signs of metabolic stress for a while.”

Eventually, Sheri says it became clear she needed to end the friendship and the collaboration they had developed. “I was so disillusioned by the turn of events that I took leave from this project that I poured my heart and soul into.”
“I did consider exposing the affair,” she admits. “But I so desperately wanted to remove myself from the partnership that I feared the reprisal and further involvement.”

Damaging Secrets

“Knowing another’s secret, in general, is uncomfortable,” says Laura Dabney, MD, a marriage psychiatrist from Virginia. “If you have the added impact of this secret possibly negatively impacting the workplace, it’s a double whammy.”
The experience places an undue burden on the person who knows, she explains, and this often manifests in the way of anxiety and stress, including symptoms such as insomnia, irritability, avoidance behavior, chronic headaches, and worrying.

“It can be unsettling,” says Juli Fraga, PsyD, a relationship therapist based in San Francisco, because the person can feel like they’re holding a secret, and it can make interactions with colleagues more than uncomfortable. She notes that depending on the person’s personal background, they can also experience longer-term effects.
“If their parents divorced because of an affair,” she explains, “it could reopen childhood wounds and trauma.” Additionally, Fraga asserts that it might bring into question what trust means in relationships and cause the person to question how seemingly good people can do dishonest things. Depending on the person’s spiritual or religious beliefs, it can be that much more emotionally distressing.

If we were already conflicted and uncertain about our willingness to love and be loved, the witnessing of an affair can have a long-term effect on our decision to (or not to) enter intimate relationships, stresses Mark B. Borg, Jr., an NYC clinical psychologist and author of the forthcoming book Relationship Sanity: Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships.
“If it is a person or couple that we admire and respect, it can [also] impact how we feel not only about them and their coupleship, but how we feel about relationship itself.”

Pause and give yourself a moment to grieve.

Too often, the witness thinks only about what to do with the information, says Borg, and they completely overlook their own shock, hurt, and disappointment over being exposed to such uncomfortable, perhaps shocking, and shattering information.

After learning of her colleagues’ transgression, Sheri tells us she felt duplicitous and hypocritical colluding in the betrayal. But the loss felt two-fold—she was mourning the end of the friendship and her creative vision. “I was caught up in trying to protect my work from people who I erroneously believed were upholding and contributing to my personal mission to bring therapeutic theater to disenfranchised populations.”
“It will weigh on you,” Borg asserts, “and it is likely that you will need to grieve over losing the image that you had of this person before you found out.”

Define your boundaries ASAP.

Whether it’s narrowing all exchanges to cordial pleasantries or blocking the person’s number for good, it’s best to get distance from someone who’s having an affair, says Dabney. “They are consciously choosing to deal with a problem by doing something destructive and cruel, and it’s only a matter of time before the witness will get hurt as well.”

Conversely, if a friend starts to tell you about an affair, she insists it’s best to hold up a hand and let them know that’s information they should be talking about with their partner or therapist, and you would appreciate not being put in that awkward position.
Smerling also wants us to keep in mind that becoming overly involved in other people’s affairs is a clear signal that we’re blurring the lines between what we’re responsible for and what we are not.

Carefully weigh your options.

So…should you mind your own business? Expose it?
Below are options to considers, though “there isn’t a right or wrong answer,” Fraga asserts. “It depends on each person’s judgment.”

Say nothing.

In the case of a close friend who is being cheated on, Fraga says we should ask ourselves this one guiding question: If my friend knew my partner was having an affair and didn’t tell me, how might I feel? “I’d also say that it’s not [your] responsibility to do anything unless you feel compelled to do so.”

Along the same vein, Borg says exposing an affair to a partner will most certainly backfire in some way, and it’s more than likely that the affair-haver and the cheated-on other will both use you as a target of their hurt, their fear, and their rage—a “shoot the messenger” scenario. “It creates emotional displacement,” he explains. “If we assume that affairs happen for a reason, it’s possible that the reason will be convoluted, lost, or misdirected if you intervene.”
“The issue here might have less to do with how or if you expose the person’s infidelity,” Borg adds, and more about how it impacts your relationship with that person (as well as the person who is being cheated on).

And in the case of a virtual stranger (e.g., a college professor) experts agree that exposing the affair would be even more inappropriate unless someone was in imminent physical danger.

Talk to both parties about what you witnessed and let them know how you feel.

In general, it’s healthiest to never speak about anyone’s problems or issues with anyone else, says Dabney. “However, an affair in the workplace can be destructive, so this may be an exception.” If possible, opt for a better way of dealing with your experience rather than exposing it by offering to discuss what you’ve witnessed and felt with that person.

But this can be tricky, notes Smerling, as approaching the couple and letting them know you’re uncomfortable could jeopardize your job (depending on the hierarchy).

Talk to human resources or your boss for guidance.

Your best bet is staying far from the chaos, but going up the ladder could be necessary if the affair is creating a toxic work environment. While opting to tell HR can be risky business since they exist primarily to protect the company, expressing your concerns openly can provide a paper trail in the event of a colleague’s retaliation.

“If your colleagues are at a higher level, then it is best to stay out of it because you run the risk of being the ‘fall guy,’” says Dabney. However, if the colleagues are of a lower level or if the couple is mixed levels (one higher than the other), she recommends letting the person above them know. But Dabney offers one caveat when telling: It’s best to be brief and stick to the known facts and not draw the conclusion of “affair.”

Seek advice from a therapist or trusted friend.

The consensus among experts is to seek advice if what you know is affecting your day-to-day.
“It’s not something you can handle on your own,” says Smerling. “You need to get help from a professional who can guide you into how to compartmentalize the feelings you have by knowing about the affair.”

Likewise, Borg believes making sure that you get whatever support, care, and love that you need after experiencing the way that someone else’s crisis was acted out is a good first step.

Lessons Learned

In the aftermath of the falling out, Sheri says the betrayal impacted her ability to re-engage meaningfully with the theater project she had worked so hard to develop.
“The affair was a glaring reflection of the duplicity I refused to see,” she says. “It awakened me to how my desire to manifest my creative vision blinded me to exercising better judgment.”

It’s now been six years after everything went down, and Sheri tells us she’s in a better place. Satirizing the whole experience in a play has allowed her to channel her feelings and find catharsis and healing.
We asked how being witness to an affair has changed her.
“I became much more guarded and meticulous as to who I would continue to involve myself with,” she says. “It led to my doing a complete overhaul of my relationships.”

Tags Commerce, social

Life x Culture Lifestyle

Pushing Through The Crisis: Tips For Surviving Culture Shock

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date October 5, 2018

As the child of a diplomat, Isioma Ononye has had her fair share of experiences with adjusting to a new culture. She’s Nigerian and spent much of her childhood living abroad. At different points in her childhood, her family lived in New York City, Budapest, and Mexico City.
Each time her family moved, adjusting to a culture so different from her own (and equally different from the last one) was hard work. Ononye tells HealthyWay she experienced a difficult transition in each new location—and that the adjustment was difficult for its own unique reason everywhere they went.
In Mexico City, being African set her apart from everyone else. So few families like hers lived there. Going to school was difficult because she felt her differences were blatantly obvious. In both Budapest and Mexico City, not knowing the language or understanding the culture made it difficult to immerse herself in social activities. In New York, she faced a different set of challenges.
“Having to adapt to a new environment with a different climate can be difficult and affect your mood,” she says. “I prefer to be in environments with warm climates. I’ve never been a fan of winter. At college in New York, the winter season would sometimes bring my mood down.”

What Ononye was experiencing was culture shock. It’s an idea we’ve all likely heard about before, but we might not be all that familiar with what it entails. Not many people know what it’s like to experience setting up life in a location where the language, social norms, and daily customs or climate are so different from what they know. Here’s what you need to know about making a transition to a new culture, what to expect, and how you can cope with this massive change. And even if you’re not planning on relocating any time soon, understanding more about culture shock can help you be a more supportive and informed community member wherever you are.

What is culture shock?

At its most basic, culture shock is any experience of difficulty or struggle while living in a new location or culture. While culture shock is most often experienced when living in a new country, some people report experiencing the phenomena after making a move to a region of their country that is vastly different from where they grew up. For example, if you grew up in a bustling city and relocated to a small, rural community, you might experience culture shock.

InterNations, a resource for individuals moving or living in new cultures, describes culture shock as an “emotional roller coaster.” Symptoms of culture shock often include anxiety, depression, and homesickness according to a resource created by Kalamazoo College. This Simon Fraser International Students online resource also cites excessive sleeping, boredom, loneliness, and even aches and pains as symptoms of culture shock.
Certain individuals might see their culture shock play out in more unusual ways. They may become anxious about their surroundings, like the cleanliness of the water or environment, and indulge in compulsive handwashing or rigidity about what they eat. Some people may even experience extreme anger over the difficulties the language barrier represents.

Culture shock looks different for each person. but it’s fairly normal to feel uncomfortable when you move to a new environment. With an understanding of what to expect and an acceptance that it is normal to struggle with adaptation to a new environment, you can take the first step toward a comfortable life in a new location.

What You Need to Know: The Stages of Culture Shock

Culture shock comes in stages; it doesn’t all hit you at once. In fact, you might not feel any effects of culture shock at first. It takes time to process how monumental a change like moving to a new country is for your lifestyle and wellbeing.

Researchers have differing opinions on how many stages of culture shock exist—four or five. However, they do agree on the general shape or cycle of culture shock. Things start out well, maybe even amazingly well, then a crash or crisis takes place, followed by a slow but steady recovery. According to research published in the Journal of Travel Medicine, even with differing views on culture shock and the varying lengths of time over which the process occurs, experts in the field almost always agree that it is a U-shaped experience. You’re up, then you’re down, and then you work your way up again.
For the sake of simplicity, we’ll focus on four stages of culture shock. This is what you might experience during the first days, weeks, or months in your new home abroad.

1. The Honeymoon Phase

Changes are fun and exciting. Even if you’re nervous about making a big move, there’s a good chance you’ve been looking forward to and planning for your new lifestyle in a new culture, and now the time for adventure is finally here!

Once you arrive at your new destination, you will probably experience what is commonly called the honeymoon phase. According to the aforementioned piece published in the Journal of Travel Medicine, this phase is characterized by excitement and wonder. Some individuals may experience the honeymoon phase for only a few days, while others will feel this way for months. It is also common for phases of culture shock to overlap, according to a write-up in Anthropology Matters.
During this phase of adjusting to a new culture, you’ll see everything with rose-colored glasses. Everything around you will seem fascinating and exciting. You might go non-stop, anxious to experience everything new in your environment. Much like the first days, weeks, or months of a new relationship, you’ll probably overlook any faults in your new location.

2. The Crisis Phase

Next comes the crash. That new culture you fell in love with might not be quite as perfect as you believed in the honeymoon stage.

During the crisis phase, much of the frustration you experience might be associated with the differences in language or cultural norms. You’re a stranger in a strange land, and keeping up with day-to-day tasks will probably feel incredibly difficult during this phase.
During the second phase, you’ll likely see the bulk of your negative symptoms appear. This might be when you start to feel depressed or experience extreme frustration. You might even start to feel negative about the culture you once adored. Locals may seem incredibly different from you and your family, and you may long for what you’re used to.

During the frustration phase, some people isolate or think about heading home.
As pointed out in the Anthropology Matters piece, most tourists are lucky enough to avoid this phase altogether. Short-term travelers head home long before the honeymoon phase comes to an end in most circumstances. It’s people who have permanently or semi-permanently moved to a new culture who can expect to experience this difficult part of living in a new place.

3. The Adjustment Stage

The good news about culture shock is that the worst of the symptoms typically fade away with time. Although some individuals do return home or even deal with mental health crises when their honeymoon phase comes to an end, most long-term travelers and expats learn to adjust after their crash.
The adjustment stage occurs during the first year, according to the Travel Medicine Journal piece, and is characterized by an acceptance of the new culture. This is the point in the experience when you’ll buckle down and learn the language well enough to interact on a daily basis. Getting the things you need and forming relationships certainly won’t be easy, but you’ll feel encouraged enough by the small progress you’ve made to keep at it.

What really sets this stage apart is improved wellbeing. You won’t be riding the high of the honeymoon stage, but you certainly won’t be in the depths of despair associated with the crisis stage. You’ll be able to carry on with your life without an excessive amount of discouragement or frustration, and you’ll slowly but surely feel like a healthier individual.

4. The Acceptance Stage

Consider this the “you have arrived” phase of rebounding from culture shock—a whole four stages in. While during the adjustment stage you were soldiering on, the acceptance stage is a more comfortable place to be. In this stage, you’re not merely learning how to interact in a new culture for survival’s sake, you’re accepting that new culture in a way you never have before.

In the crisis stage, you likely felt your culture was better because it felt more natural to you. This is the point in your cultural adjustment when you’ll (hopefully) realize that the two cultures are merely different, that one isn’t better than the other, and that both have their pros and cons. If you’re unable to reach this conclusion as part of your cultural adjustment, you might return home at this point or continue to struggle with depression and anxiety during your time in the new culture.

Who is most likely to experience culture shock?

Although it is true that anyone can experience culture shock when transitioning from living in one culture to another, some individuals are more prone to culture shock than others.
According to the Travel Medicine Journal piece, people with less control over their circumstances will likely experience culture shock to a great degree. Take, for example, someone who moves into a school, organization, or even hotel where they are surrounded by people speaking their native tongue and are able to eat foods they ate at home. This individual is less likely to notice the impact of culture shock when compared to someone who is fully immersed in a neighborhood or community where the local culture is more predominant—where they’re surrounded by people who do not speak their native language, who have different rules about social interactions, and who eat differently.

The severity of the differences between the two cultures also impacts the severity of the culture shock experienced. For instance, individuals who travel from America to another English-speaking country will likely experience fewer symptoms of culture shock than someone who moves from South America to North America.
Length of time is also a factor to consider. If you only plan to be in a culture for days or weeks, the impact of the cultural adjustment might not be extreme enough to be considered culture shock, and it almost certainly will not be as intense as it will be for someone who knows they will be living in a new country or region for a year or more.
One interesting note made by the Travel Medicine Journal is that children often get forgotten when considering culture shock. The truth is, a big move to a new country is very difficult for a young child and their adjustment should be taken into consideration, too.

Preparing for a Cultural Adjustment

“Culture shock is normal! Once an individual realizes this, then they are able to work through it,” says Adriana Smith, founder and blogger at Travepreneur. “More than anything, a cultural adjustment improves soft skills, such as flexibility and adaptability, curiosity, communicativeness, and open-mindedness.”
It is possible to prepare yourself for a big change like moving to a new country. Since having a better understanding of the geography of the location and basic knowledge of the language and cultural rules can lessen the impact of culture shock, it makes sense that educating yourself might help prepare you for a less jarring cultural adjustment.
[pullquote align=”center”]It sounds too simple, but it makes a difference. By being open in Mexico City, I was willing to form friendships with the locals that helped me to find my way.[/pullquote]
Smith also suggests finding activities or hobbies to engage in regularly after your move. She specifically points to exercising, joining clubs, and blogging as great ways to ease tension and boost mental health. The Travel Medicine Journal article also suggests finding ways to continue the hobbies you are accustomed to engaging in at home after you settle into your new country. Give a nod to your old routine while forming new and healthy habits.
For Ononye, keeping an open mind was one of the most important ways she coped with culture shock. She knew it would be difficult, but mentally preparing herself to be accepting of the culture was so helpful.

“It sounds too simple, but it makes a difference,” she tells HealthyWay. “By being open in Mexico City, I was willing to form friendships with the locals that helped me to find my way. By being open, I was able to explore my environment.”
GoOverseas, an organization for students studying abroad, also suggests reaching out for support from individuals who are experiencing culture shock as well (or who have in the past). Being able to talk about your experience and get advice from someone who understands could be invaluable to your adjustment.
Additionally, they suggest putting forth the effort to adjust. Don’t just expect it to happen with time! Try to make friends, don’t isolate yourself, and work hard at learning the language. You’ll be glad you did.

Ononye also attributes forming friendships as a big part of her success each time she adjusted to a new culture.
“When I was in New York for college, I interacted more with Americans than international students,” she explains. “That made the adjustment process easier because it helped me to quickly learn how to navigate the suburbs and the city area.”

A Note on Re-Entry

While returning to your home country will be a relief for many, re-entry isn’t always easy. In fact, so many people struggle with adjusting to being home that the term “reverse culture shock” is a common part of conversations among international students and expats.

Specifically, you may notice you’re feeling misunderstood because you now have a set of experiences that friends and family who weren’t with you abroad are unable to identify with. According to the U.S. Department of State, if your re-entry was unexpected or sudden, it will likely be hard to re-adjust because you haven’t had time to prepare emotionally for the transition. If you were immersed in the new culture for quite some time and feel you are really invested in the community where you lived, you might also experience more severe symptoms of reverse culture shock, including depression, loneliness, and disorientation.

Reaching Out

If you struggle to move past the crisis stage and into the adjustment and acceptance stages, you may need extra support. It isn’t uncommon for individuals to experience depression, isolation, and anxiety during a cultural adjustment. Remember, just because these experiences are typical, that doesn’t mean they should be ignored.
For Ononye, this looked like joining the international students association at her university in New York. She tells HealthyWay that these relationships meant she had people in her life who really understood what she was going through and who would be anxious to explore their new environment with her.

Reach out and find help if you’re struggling in your new home. If you’re a student who transferred for school or an expat moved by your workplace, these organizations likely have resources at your disposal. Most workplaces have employee assistance programs and most students have access to counselors, even if only via email. This is a good place to start.
If this isn’t an option for you, look for a counselor in your new location who speaks your language. You might be surprised to find that there are more resources available to you than you initially expected.

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Life x Culture Lifestyle

Spilling Chari-Tea: How To Determine If A Charity Isn't Using Money The Right Way

Post author By Rachel Murphy
Post date October 4, 2018

The holiday season is right around the corner, and in addition to presents for friends and family, it’s a time when many of us contribute to different nonprofits and organizations that are important to us. In 2016, Americans donated more than $390 billion to charities across the country, according to Giving USA. Perhaps you’ve made a donation or two in your lifetime.
Fundraisers like Giving Tuesday, for instance, encourage people to donate to a charity of their choice. Giving Tuesday takes place on the first Tuesday in December and piggybacks off of the Black Friday and Cyber Monday spending spree events. In 2017, Giving Tuesday raised $274 million from 150 countries around the world.

It’s true that giving back can make you feel good. In fact, a study published in Nature Communications found that being generous can actually make you a happier person. But do you know where your money is going? Charities rely on monetary donations from the public to help provide services, programs, basic items, and more to people and animals alike. It’s all for a good cause—until it’s not.
Before you whip out your checkbook, here is what you need to know to ensure that your donation is being used properly.

First Steps

Sites like Charity Navigator and GuideStar can help prospective donors identify and learn more about an organization before making a monetary donation. These websites take a deep dive into different charities’ records, reviewing pertinent financial information and other relevant data.

“Charities exist because someone saw a problem they felt wasn’t getting solved,” says Suzanne Coffman, editorial director at GuideStar USA. “Donors give to charity because they want to help solve problems or make the world better.”
Sara Nason, head of consumer innovation and engagement at Charity Navigator, said their website is the “nation’s largest and most-utilized evaluator of charities.” Collectively, Charity Navigator has data on 1.8 million organizations to help donors make an informed decision.

MAKE SURE IF YOU DONATE THE CHARITY IS REAL AND NOT A FRONT..

— James C Partners (@jamescpartners) December 7, 2009

The website ranks organizations based on financial health, accountability, and transparency. They pull information from the charity’s website and also review and publish the details of the organization’s 990 form. By law, U.S.-based tax-exempt organizations must file a 990 form with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) once a year. This form serves as a way for the IRS and the general public to learn more about how a charity operates.
“We see something in the news and say, ‘Oh my gosh, there’s a charity mentioned in the story and I want to donate to them.’ We always recommend doing your research” says Nason. “Giving is an emotional and immediate reaction. Inputting research can be a difficult step, but it’s something we believe everyone should be doing to make sure their money is being donated where it is needed most.”

Nason says there are several ways to go about selecting and donating to a reputable charity.
First, she says you should identify with a cause that’s important to you. Think through the impact you want your donation to have. For example, if you want to donate to an organization that is trying to cure cancer, a larger organization that has institutional funding is probably going to be closer to curing cancer. If you want to support people who have cancer, a local organization that assists those who are being treated for cancer may be your best bet.

Do your homework.

Next, you should check out the charity’s credentials. Whether you don’t know where you want to give or you have an organization in mind, vet your options first.
Look the charity up on an investigative website like Charity Navigator. The site has a “search” and “discover” function to help users learn more about specific charities. Type in a cause or charity name to pull up a company history. Charity Navigator uses a ranking system from zero to four, with four being assigned to the highest-ranking charities.

Nason recommends selecting a charity that’s been rated three or more stars. You can also visit the charity’s website for yourself. She recommends evaluating these factors: Administrative expenses and program and fundraising costs.
“Asking all of those questions will give you a good understanding of how the charity operates and will help you take the next step to decide if you want to donate or not,” says Nason.

Typically, the fundraising expenses should not exceed 10 percent of the overall budget, and administrative expenses should be less than 15 percent. The majority of the organization’s operating revenue—roughly 65 percent—should be largely focused on funding programs and related expenses that do the most good, according to Nason.
“It is a red flag if an organization is spending most of its money on fundraising and administrative costs and very little on programs,” says Coffman. “By very little, I mean five or 10 percent.”

She says that overhead can be a hangup for some donors, though. Overhead is a charity’s fundraising expenses plus administrative expenses.
“The argument is if you want these programs to succeed, you have to put the right people behind it to help the program succeed. It’s so important to have organizations that pay their staff an appropriate amount for the sector and are not sticking it to the people who are helping the mission and pushing the mission forward. Look for a good balance between the program expenses.”

Coffman says one of the biggest red flags is when an organization becomes pushy about getting your donation.
“Some charities will push you for a donation over the phone without providing much information about their mission,” says Coffman. “Reputable charities willingly give you info about their mission and program so that you understand both of them so you can see if they align with your values … They understand you need time to think it over.”
For this reason, Coffman and GuideStar do not advise that people make donations over the phone or via email.

“It’s too easy for someone to act like they are a charity when they aren’t,” says Coffman. “You should also be cautious when clicking through an email sent by a charity. It’s too easy to spoof emails these days.”
Coffman suggests that donors should go directly to the charity’s website to safely make a contribution.

Get in touch with the charity.

The next step? Get in touch with the charity you choose. Send them an email, reach out on social media, or pick up the phone—whatever you do, Nason recommends having a conversation. “You want to talk with them about what their accomplishments, goals, and challenges are,” she says. “This will give you insight in knowing where the organization stands, where it plans to go, how it’s trying to accomplish that.”
If the organization does not want to have that conversation with you or seems hesitant or unable to provide the information you’re after, consider donating your dollars somewhere else.

“That’s [a sign] of an organization that hasn’t put money toward figuring out what their goals are,” says Nason. “If you want your dollar to go the furthest, choose an organization that does have goals and has accomplished things previously. Look for an organization that has a track record that shows your money will go to the right place.”
Coffman echoes Nason’s comments and says the mission of an organization’s programs should be abundantly clear.

#TakeFive is encouraging you to stop and think, to avoid sharing info with scammers. Our guide to protect your #charity against #fraud includes a new infographic to help you with reporting it: https://t.co/md3cxfEA3U pic.twitter.com/XtiQxlJS6q

— Charity Commission (@ChtyCommission) January 22, 2018

“If they are making vague claims and not providing concrete examples of how they are using donors’ money, that can be a warning sign,” says Coffman. She recommends looking for facts like the number of beds a shelter is providing or specific information about programs; for example, if a charity runs an on-the-job training program, how many people have come through it successfully and retained employment or been promoted?

Coming Full Circle

Figure out how to give your donation. Typically the best way to give is directly—that is, through the organization itself.
“Donating through the charity’s website is the number one way to go,” says Nason.

Before submitting your payment, double check the organization’s website to see if they have a donor privacy policy. This type of protocol protects a donor from having their information sold or misused.
After you’ve given, make sure to follow up at a later date to inquire about how your donation has been put to work. Nason recommends doing so anywhere between six months to a year after your initial donation.

“Call the organization up and get a progress report on how things are going,” Nason says. “Some things to ask are, ‘How close they are to their goals?’ and ‘What do they still need?’ This information will help you to reflect on whether or not you want to invest in them for the long haul.”
If you’ve decided to keep giving, Nason says to consider the option of a recurring donation. This can be set up directly through the charity on a monthly or yearly basis. If you do this, make sure to reevaluate the organization every so often to “make sure it still aligns with your values,” Nason advises.

“It’s a broader conversation about making sure that the money goes to the right place and the people who need help are getting help,” says Nason. “At the end of the day, Americans are incredibly generous. Giving to charities is an incredibly community-based process. Individuals who care have the unique opportunity to support organizations that can make real change.”

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Lifestyle

People Share Their Worst Bridezilla Stories, And They’re Incredible

Post author By HealthyWay Staff Writer
Post date October 4, 2018

If you want a perfect wedding, you’re going to have to put in a lot of work—and a ton of money. The average wedding costs an astounding $33,391, according to a survey from wedding website The Knot. Given that expense, perhaps it’s not surprising that some people freak out when their big days don’t go exactly as planned.
Recently, Reddit users shared their stories of terrible bridezillas (and, in one case, a maid-of-honorzilla). They’re pretty horrific, and therefore, incredibly entertaining. We collected a few of the best, then edited them slightly to improve readability.

When you’re getting married, you want everything to go perfectly.

That’s fine; just make sure you’re not putting any undue stress on the other members of your wedding party.
“I’m a bridal wear designer, and I’ve worked for a few medium- to large-sized brands as well as for individual clients,” wrote Bugalugandpen. “I started off working in a boutique selling bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, and all the stuff that goes with it.”

“At the end of a very hot, very busy Saturday while I was working on my own, a glamorous and slender bridal party walk in. The bride, mother, and three maids have come to see their bridesmaid dresses, then try them on to be altered. They’d ordered them about four months prior.”
“These dresses were the ‘hot’ thing at the time. All seemed fine. First, the bridesmaids come out, and I pinned the hem and talked them through any additional stuff. The mother is super picky, and the bride is very much obsessed with her ‘perfect day.’ but that’s pretty much normal.”

“The last bridesmaid comes out, and the hem is lifted over an inch from the ground on her left side, but is over two inches too long for the rest of the hem, so it looks incredibly wonky. The bride nearly breaks down and mother goes basically catatonic. They’re yelling that the wedding is ruined, they’re going to sue us to hell, etc.”
“The bridesmaid looks rather sheepish. I offered to get them a new dress and promised it would be sorted out. I needed to talk to the owner to get full details, but it would be resolved within a week.”
“I had a suspicion, so I went into the changing room with the bridesmaid to ‘help her out of the dress,’ and she looked rather upset. I told her again that we could sort it, and she would look great in the end, but it didn’t seem to help. I asked if everything was okay or if there is something she wants to tell me.”
“She nearly bursts into tears and tells me that she so sorry, but she’s pregnant. She’d been trying for a while, but the bride had told her she wasn’t allowed to get pregnant and ruin her wedding.”
“She was only at four weeks, but with the style of dress, it meant the fabric lifted with just the tiniest of bumps. You really have to be a flat-stomached wonder, or those dresses do weird things.”

“She was really stressed about not being able to tell anyone until after the wedding, and worrying about getting through the bachelorette party without anyone realizing she was pregnant. The bride would lose it with her. I was in a difficult place because the bride was threatening us for something that wasn’t our fault.”
“I agreed with the bridesmaid that I wouldn’t say anything, but after the wedding, she would need to tell the bride that we helped—not hindered—the situation! She was super grateful, and I managed to fix the dress for her, but she paid for it (the bride thought we were covering it). The bride did send in a ‘Thank You’ card after the wedding, so I guess it all worked out in the end for her.”

Wedding photography isn’t as easy as it looks.

If a friend offers to take photos for your wedding, you should probably refuse; professional photographers might be expensive, but you get what you pay for. If you’re lucky enough to know a professional who’s willing to do the work at a discount rate, by all means, take the deal—but don’t complain afterward.
“I am a commercial photographer, not a wedding photographer,” explained Hooklinensinkr. “My best friend since first grade asked me to photograph his twin sister’s wedding because they don’t have the budget for a professional that specializes in weddings. I figure out my costs and tell them I’ll do it for a break-even fee of $400—about ¼ of what they’d pay otherwise—and they agree.”

“They’re supposed to pay me on the day. Things are going on, the bride’s panicking. She doesn’t have her checkbook, but promises to pay cash later. I said ‘Okay.’ I follow them around from 9:30 a.m. to 1:00 a.m., hearing from both the bride and groom that they’ve got enough cash as gifts that they could settle up right away. It never happens. They’ll transfer it to me via email—again, fine.”
“A week later I’m about 10 hours into what would become 30 hours of editing the final 250 photos, and still there’s no money. The bills from my expenses are coming due. I text them, no reply. I had to ask my friend to find out that they took off on a month-long honeymoon in Europe.”
“Their dad finally called and paid me instead, and I mailed them the photos. They all went on her social media. She seemed happy, the friends and family seemed happy, but I didn’t hear a word of thanks.”

“Six months later, she starts getting my buddy to ask me for all of the photos I took—almost 1,400—to do her own editing. Most professionals, including myself, would never allow that, and I say as much and ask why it never came up before. She starts putting s***** Instagram filters on the final photos and posting them with passive aggressive comments about how the photographer won’t come through, so she has to improve on what she’s got.”
“My buddy and I have a more strained relationship because I had to put my foot down. I don’t shoot weddings or offer friend discounts anymore, with no exceptions.”

If you’re petty at your wedding, everyone will know.

“Oh man, I have one ‘bridezilla’ I had to deal with, though thankfully at a distance,” wrote 2354PK. “One of my high school friends just got married a few weeks ago. We’ve known each other since we were in diapers, so even though I live in a different country, I RSVP’d that I’d come.”
“Now, I did it via text, because I didn’t know how long it’d take for the reply to get to her. She freaked out that I wasn’t doing it properly and [complained] that I needed to spend the money on the stamps to send it back. Okay, I get her point, even though I think it’s stupid.”

“I ended up getting a call shortly after she got my response—three weeks later, by the way—telling me only my son and I were invited, not my husband. I asked why, and she refused to answer me, eventually telling me I shouldn’t come.”
“I talked to a friend who was standing up in the wedding party, and apparently, she made it pretty obvious she was embarrassed to be ‘marrying down.’ She was always the ‘hot one’ of our friend group, and she thought her husband wasn’t as good looking as she deserved, so she decided to not invite any of the good-looking husbands of her female friends—especially if those friends ‘weren’t as pretty as she was.’”

Whatever you do, don’t give your guests a contract.

“I was in a wedding for a girl who wasn’t a super close friend, but we each had the same best friend, so I ended up being in the wedding,” wrote AccomplishedOlive. “We had to sign a contract.”
Okay, that sounds sketchy—and the contract’s conditions were just as bad as you’d think.
“One, we wouldn’t get any fake tans, because no one was allowed to be tanner than her,” she wrote. “Also, no tan lines on our lesser tanned skin. Two, no false lashes—her lashes were to be the longest.”

“Three, no teeth whitening. Her ‘smile was to shine the brightest,’ and that’s an exact quote from the contract. Four, $400 bridesmaid dresses and $100 shoes, plus $250 in rented jewelry, all of which we had to buy on our own—despite the fact that her family was loaded and I was so broke. Looking back, I wish I would’ve had the courage to just decline. It was awful.”
“My brother’s brother-in-law was getting married,” wrote Wildescrawl. “He had a daughter from a previous relationship who was 10 or 11 at the time of the wedding, and he had a second child that was 2 years old with this new soon-to-be wife.”
“The new wife wouldn’t allow the older daughter to be at the wedding because ‘She’s not mine and I don’t want her distracting people.’”
We’ll give you a moment to contemplate how horrible that is.

When kids are involved, these stories get especially infuriating.

“When my best friend from high school married his first wife, he asked that my then 4-year-old daughter, and his goddaughter, be a flower girl,” wrote Mrscake76. “His fiancée, Bridezilla, chose a dress for my daughter that cost $600.”
“I gently explained that we didn’t have $600 to spend on a dress. She blew up. Cried, yelled, etc. Finally, we calmed her down and found a dress at Macy’s for $80. Still way out of my price range at the time, but we made it work.”
“As we got closer to the Big Day, she called to tell me that I would need to leave early from work the Friday before the event, drive my 4-year-old daughter two hours away to spend the night with her and her friends in a hotel room, and be prepared to fork out $250 for her hair and makeup in the morning.”
“One, my daughter doesn’t really know any of you. Two, I wouldn’t trust you to care for a hamster, let alone my kid. Three, you and your sorority sisters plan to get s***faced while my kid does…what? And fourth, $250? For hair and makeup on my 4-year-old?”
“No. I’ll do her hair. I’ll even let her wear a little bit of makeup—she’ll be thrilled. We’ll meet you at the church half an hour before the ceremony.”
Bridezilla agreed, on the condition that the little girl looks, ahem, presentable. She wasn’t exactly happy with the arrangement.
“On the day of the wedding, we show up with my daughter looking adorable,” Mrscake76 explained. “She napped in the car, had a snack, kept herself and her pretty dress clean, and was thrilled to be a flower girl. This was not her first flower girl gig, either. This was at least her third time. She was a pro.”

“Bridezilla wanted her to practice before the ceremony. The poor kid got yelled at for ‘not scattering the petals evenly.’ Then she got yelled at for watching a butterfly instead of paying attention to the Bridezilla yelling at the rest of the wedding party.”
“We finally got the thing started, made it through, and went outside the church to congratulate Bridezilla and groom. My daughter came running to me and my husband for hugs, and Bridezilla freaked out. She insisted that my daughter stay with the wedding party and not go with us to the reception. My daughter was okay with that, since she knew one of the guys in the wedding party and would get to ride in the limo. She was starving, though, and when I tried to offer her one of the snacks I’d brought, Bridezilla said no way since they were going to get pictures taken.”
Somehow, it gets worse.
“We went our separate ways and waited at the reception for two hours before they finally showed up. My daughter was so hungry—she was near tears when she finally saw us. I snuck her some Goldfish crackers while the first dance and the cake cutting took place.”

“All she wanted to do was eat and dance with her ‘uncle,’ my best friend. Bridezilla decreed that no one was allowed to dance with the groom but her. She would make an exception for him to have one dance with his mother.”
“My daughter asked her politely if she could have one dance with her uncle and was told no. When he came over and picked my daughter up to hug her, Bridezilla got mad and told him to put her down. Now that they were married, all physical affection was hers alone. I wasn’t even allowed to hug him. His mother wasn’t allowed to hug him.”
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Sort of.
“Thank God she cheated on him, and he divorced her.”

Sometimes, the bride’s not the most difficult person in the wedding party.

“We got invited to a wedding of a distant friend of my wife,” wrote DevilRenegade. “She was a former work colleague. The bride-to-be’s sister was organising everything by email. She wrote: ‘Accommodation and food for two for the weekend: £200. Please pay into my account.’”
“Fair enough—they were getting married in a castle about 200 miles away, so accommodation was a necessity. No problem so far. Then: ‘Hen night meal and drinks kitty: £150. Please pay into my account.’”

We should note here that in the United Kingdom, a “hen night” is another name for a bachelorette party. A kitty refers to a communal pool of money.
“Hmm; that seems steep for a meal at the local restaurant and a few drinks afterward,” DevilRenegade wrote. “Third: ‘We’ve organised a canoeing trip for the wedding party the day before the wedding: £100. Please pay into my account.’ No thanks. I had my shoulder strapped up from a sports injury at the time, so there was no way I was doing this.”
Strangely enough, the list wasn’t over.
“‘Salsa dancing class before the hen party: £50. Please pay into my account.’ I lost my [cool] with this one. I did some research and found that there was one place within a 20-mile radius of the wedding venue that did salsa-dancing classes, and they cost a lot less than £50. In fact, they cost the same amount if you multiplied the number of people on the hen party attendees’ list by £50, then took away two places for the bride and her sister.”
“In other words, she was basically setting up an awesome weekend for her and her sister, and everyone else was paying for it. I added up the costs of all her emails, and she was expecting over £500 from us before we’d even left the house. We’ve been on week-long holidays that cost less.”
“The email I sent back: ‘Will pay for our accommodation and food, and my wife’s food at the hen party only. No intention of paying for you and your sister to go canoeing, salsa dancing, or partying.’”
“The last straw was when my wife went off to the local restaurant with some of the other attendees in a taxi—whereas the bride and maid of honor had a stretch limo to themselves (which was paid for out of the hen-night kitty, we found out later).

I planned to stay back and watch a rugby game in the hotel bar, but within an hour of her leaving, my wife called me and asked me to come and pick her up from the restaurant. It was all the bride-to-be’s close friends and family, and she wasn’t being made to feel welcome.”
“I’m not sure why the best day of someone else’s life should be the most expensive of ours.”

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Lifestyle Well-Traveled

Getting Your Money's Worth: Budget-Friendly Vs. Expensive Hotels

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date October 4, 2018

For nearly eight years, while I finished high school, got my college degree, and started navigating life after college, I worked in hotels.
In high school, I worked at a resort with a formal restaurant and a full-service space. I served in banquets, then moved on the front desk where I eventually managed a small staff of employees while I was in college.
After that job, I moved on to a budget-friendly option near the airport. The guests at this hotel just needed a bed, and that definitely showed in how the hotel was taken care of. I didn’t stay there long. The last place I worked was budget friendly, but a part of a major brand. It was a great experience being able to watch hotel ownership caring about how the hotel was cared for and making sure budget-travelers had an enjoyable stay.

For most of my time in hotels, I worked either as a front desk agent, front office manager, or assistant general manager. Even so, I still spent plenty of time helping with laundry, vacuuming rooms, and jumping in during busy seasons in the restaurant. I kind of feel like I’ve seen it all.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a hotel as anything more than a guest, but my behind-the-scenes experience means I’ve learned some important lessons about finding a good place to stay, how much money to spend, and which inexpensive options are worth a try. Here’s what you need to know about getting your money’s worth in both cheap and expensive hotels.

“You shine like a star.”

Five-star hotels are often thought to be luxurious and pristine, while low-star hotels are associated with being more affordable but of lower quality. The system of hotel star ratings, though, is widely misunderstood.
Originally created by Forbes Travel Magazine in the 1950s, star ratings are concerned with amenities and features. This is important to know if you’re turning to a star rating to gauge something like cleanliness—that isn’t what this rating measures.

For example, a one-star hotel is likely to offer the most basic room: a bed and a bedside table. When staying in a one-star hotel, you might even share a bathroom with other guests, according to USA Today.
As you move up in star ratings, the number of amenities increases. A two-star rating indicates that a hotel has private en-suite bathrooms as well as a closet or dresser. In a two-star hotel, you’ll have a TV. It might not be top-of-the-line, but it will be there.
Three-star hotels are likely the type of hotel your average traveler expects to stay at while traveling for work or vacation with their family. It’s definitely not a luxury option, but it should be comfortable and affordable at the same time. The rooms in a three-star hotel are roomy. You’ll have a newer TV and there will likely be someplace to eat in the hotel. There might be extra staff to offer help with things like taking your luggage to your room or helping you plan out things to do during your trip.

Four-star hotels are definitely more luxurious—your room will be large, and you’ll access to a spa, a gym, and room service—and five-star hotels are the best of the best. When you opt for five-star digs, you’ll have a concierge on site. The rooms will be very large, well decorated, and have top-of-the-line appliances and furniture.
As you can imagine, the star rating of the hotel will definitely affect your experience, but a lower star rating doesn’t necessarily mean a bad experience—it just won’t be a luxury stay.

“Budget-friendly does not necessarily mean ‘not clean,’ but it may mean not-so-updated,” explains Ashley Blake, founder of Traverse Journeys. “Your bathroom tiles may be scrubbed and sanitized in a budget hotel but still have signs of wear and tear, where you wouldn’t find that in a five-star hotel.”

The Money Myth

One of the lessons I learned quickly while working at my first hotel, the historic resort and spa, was that many people truly believe that spending more is tied to better quality accommodations. While I think there is some truth to that belief, it only applies in the extremes.

For example, if you’re choosing between a $44-a-night motel and a nightly rate that’s several hundred dollars, you’re probably going to have vastly different experiences. However, I’m convinced that when we’re talking about spending $100 or $200 a night on a room, the cost might have nothing to do with the quality of your stay. Instead, less-talked-about factors like brand and location will wind up determining if your hotel room is going to be clean and comfortable.

What’s in a brand?

When it comes to finding a hotel, brand matters. In my experience, this can really set one affordable hotel apart from another. For many hotels, branding is much more than a color scheme or tagline you see in their advertisements.
In hospitality, brand identity is often tied to brand standards. This is important for travelers to know because that means there are certain hotels that belong to brands that require them to meet specific standards in order to remain affiliated with the brand. This is the reason staying at a Holiday Inn in San Francisco is a similar experience to staying in a Holiday Inn in St. Louis—all Holiday Inns are working off of the same manual. They’re all trying to keep their hotel clean and maintained for those random drop-ins for brand inspections.

This is also good news for travelers on a budget. Within a brand like Hilton or IHG, there are multiple price points from luxury hotels all the way down to extended stay options. While there are definitely differences between these price points, expectations of cleanliness and maintenance are common threads that run through all hotels in a brand.
The employees working at hotels under these brands are taught to pay close attention to the details as a way to improve the guest experience. I’ve been the fly on the wall during many brand inspections and seen even the most affordable hotels within a brand receive penalties for things like marks on the walls of rooms and dust along the floorboards.

The same is true for customer service. Within a brand, employees are typically held to the same standard of being friendly, quick, and going above and beyond to meet guest expectations. Sticking with brand-standard language, answering the phone within a few rings, and following a step-by-step procedure for check-in were all a part of the branded hotel inspections I was involved in during my hotel days.
Of course, brand is also not equivalent to ownership. Two hotels can share a brand, like IHG or Hilton, without sharing ownership, and ownership definitely plays into how an individual hotel is maintained because, in many cases, ownership determines budget.

Not all that glitters is gold.

Interestingly enough, an expensive price tag doesn’t necessarily indicate that a hotel will be clean. Knowing what I know about resorts from my time working in one, I cannot emphasize this enough.
The expense of maintaining a resort compared to a budget accommodation is astronomical, with larger rooms to maintain, a spa and restaurant to staff, and extensive grounds to upkeep. It is easy to see how a lean season for a resort might mean corners end up getting cut in housekeeping or maintenance.

A small 2016 study conducted by TravelMath actually found that budget-friendly accommodations were cleaner than luxury accommodations. They swabbed surfaces throughout hotel rooms, like the bathroom counter, the phone, and the remote control, and tested those swabs for germs to determine the number of CFUs, or colony forming units of bacteria, were present.
The results might make you squeamish.

The bathroom counters in rooms of all star ratings tested for an average of 1,288,817 CFUs. Four-star hotels had the highest average bathroom-counter CFU count, with an average of 2,534,773 CFUs. Moving on to the remote control, scientists found an average of 232,733 CFUs per square inch on the remote controls in three-star hotels. In the five-star hotels, the number is downright scary, with an average of 2,002,300 CFUs per square inch. That’s enough to inspire a large investment in Clorox wipes.

Beyond the Basics: Amenities

While you could easily argue that cost isn’t closely tied to cleanliness, the same is not true of amenities. In my experience, the biggest difference between an affordable and a luxury-brand hotel is in the amenities, and Blake is quick to point this out as well.
“This point may vary quite a bit for budget accommodations: Some are no frills and you’re lucky if they have soap and a bottle of water for you. Others have a full spread of toiletries, slippers and robes, and maybe even a hair dryer and iron,” Blake explains.

This is in comparison to an expensive or luxury hotel, which will always have high-quality amenities like complimentary name-brand beverages in the room or name-brand toiletries in the bathroom. High-end hotels also have the extras, according to Blake, like a pool, spa, gym, and landscaped gardens, golf courses, or patios.
Another way I have seen this play out is in the food that is offered at different hotels. Many hotels offer food, either for free or as a part of a package. While this is an amenity often offered by both budget and high-end options, a closer look will likely reveal a big difference in what is offered.

A small buffet of pre-cooked breakfast food, warmed in a convection oven, is fairly standard in budget-friendly hotels like Holiday Inn, Hampton Inn, and more. Luxury brands are more likely to include meal tickets to be used for a sit-down meal at a made-to-order restaurant or at the least a made-fresh buffet.
From there, there is so much to choose from when looking at hotels and the amenities they offer. Do you want access to a spa and a full workout room? These are most likely to be available at luxury hotels and resorts. Need a babysitter on site so you can enjoy yourself kid-free for a day or night? Look to luxury options like Club Med, Disney, and Atlantis.

It’s the little things.

Another thing to consider when booking a room is that what you spend might be directly tied to the quality of the sleep you get while you’re there. It makes sense when Blake says that a more expensive hotel means a more comfortable experience.

“In a high-class hotel, you would almost always expect a top-of-the-line mattress and pillows, fluffy towels, a bathrobe, and a perfectly functioning heat and A/C,” she says. “Budget accommodations will vary widely on these points: Mattresses are more firm in Asia, for example, and that’s likely what you’ll find and sheets won’t be as fine of a thread. The wifi might be temperamental and a lightbulb might go out.”
Blake is quick to clarify that it isn’t impossible to find a comfortable hotel on a budget. There are many budget-friendly options that have built a reputation on making sure their guests feel at home while they are there.

Another “little thing” that makes a big difference is the way a hotel looks, according to Blake. This may not be a priority for some travelers, but others prioritize this part of their experience.
“One of the more subtle yet profound differences between budget and expensive accommodations is décor,” she says. “Whether the design is modern rustic, Scandinavian simplicity, or Old World prestige, a high-end hotel will have put significant resources toward the ambiance, feel, and perceived value of the hotel.”

She goes on to explain that high-end establishments may build their reputations on being boutique hotels with unique and decadent decor. This might be accomplished with unusual architecture, fine art, and even handcrafted furniture. A budget hotel might not look bad, or even outdated, but its decor is likely more cookie cutter.

How to Get Your Money’s Worth

It seems that “it really depends” is the theme of this deep dive. While it is absolutely true that you don’t need to spend several hundred dollars a night for an enjoyable overnight stay, you will need to make smart choices and do your research before booking your room if you’re trying to stay within a smaller budget.
First things, first—know what you want from your hotel stay! Everyone has different priorities when they travel. Is this the type of trip where a clean room and a bed is all you need? Or is it a romantic getaway, and you’re hoping for more than the basics during your trip? Take these things into account as you create your budget and start your search for the perfect hotel.

Next, you’ll want to do your research. This goes beyond looking at a star rating since we’ve established that those only refer to the amenities and extras provided. To gauge something like cleanliness, we recommend finding out what previous guests have to say about a hotel by browsing rating sites like Travelocity and TripAdvisor before you book.
A word of warning, though: Not all reviewers can be trusted! Before you take a negative reviewer at their word, see if that reviewer typically leaves nasty reviews. The problem might not be the hotel; it might be the guest. By comparison, if someone normally leaves complimentary reviews but has harsh things to say about the hotel, you can probably take them at their word and steer clear of that specific establishment.

If you want to cut back on your research time, most booking sites allow you to sort search results by their average rating. This will allow you to filter out any hotels with an average star rating that is scary low, focusing your attention on hotels with three stars or more. Just a note about star ratings on these sites: These are not Forbes stars! Most hotel booking sites have their own systems for rating, which are based on the reviews and ratings left by previous guests.
According to USA Today, the Better Business Bureau is another good resource for researching a hotel. Previous guests can file formal complaints after a particularly bad stay. This is the information you will definitely want to know before booking a hotel!
Lastly, don’t be afraid to do a walkthrough before you get settled into the suite you end up choosing. Pull back the bedspread and check for stray hairs or bedbugs. Do a quick inspection of your bathroom to make sure it is up to your standards. If you’re unsatisfied with the cleanliness of your room, speak with a manager about getting it refreshed or getting a refund so you can move on to better accommodations. It’s not too late to turn your stay around!

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Nosh

Foods You’d Never Suspect Of Causing Foodborne Illness (And How To Avoid It)

Post author By Cindy Lamothe
Post date October 4, 2018

Let us begin with a scene I call “The Ghost of Foodborne Illness Past.”
You’re at what looks to be a swanky new restaurant and you order the special: shrimp ceviche. It looks magical. Music is definitely playing in the background when you snap the perfect photo and post online (#foodie!). Sure, the shrimp might smell slightly off, but it tastes even better than it looks.
Fast-forward to the present and you’re pretty sure you won’t survive to see beyond the four walls of your bathroom. All kinds of ungodly things have taken place that you are definitely not ready to talk about.

This, my friend, is the disarraying rollercoaster that is foodborne illness.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an estimated 48 million people get sick from food in the U.S. each year. “Remember, bacteria are not visible to the human eye, and there could easily be enough to give you a full-blown case of food poisoning, even if everything looks, smells, and tastes fine,” says Kristin Koskinen, RDN, a registered dietitian nutritionist based in Washington.
If only you had known what to look for. If only you could go back in time. We feel you, and we’re here to help. Consider this your primer on risky foods and tips for avoiding this travesty altogether.

Foodborne Illness for the Uninitiated

Let’s rewind and cover the basics. Foodborne illness occurs when a person ingests food that has been contaminated or has been prepared or stored in a way that allowed existing pathogens to survive and multiply. “The initial bout of foodborne illness can be life-threatening, depending on the pathogen and the person,” says Koskinen.

According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of foodborne illness (that you’re probably well acquainted with by now) include nausea, vomiting, watery or bloody diarrhea, abdominal pain or cramps, and fever. And any of these can last from a few hours to several days. However, if you find yourself with an oral temperature higher than 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit (38 Celsius), it’s time to seek medical attention.

Also be on the lookout for signs of dehydration (including dry mouth and little or no urination) or symptoms like blurry vision and muscle weakness.

What are the causes?

Foodborne illness can come from pathogens such as bacteria, viruses, parasites, or molds, as well as contaminants such as dust with heavy metals, chemicals, or other toxins. Some of the most common forms of foodborne illness come from norovirus, salmonella, listeria, Clostridium perfringens, Campylobacter, and Staphylococcus aureus. “People with compromised immune systems, young children, the elderly, and pregnant women are more susceptible to food poisoning,” Koskinen notes.

Assuming you live to tell the tale, you may end up with long-lasting effects from the infection, she adds. While we’ve all experienced the unpleasantness of the occasional stomach bug, foodborne illness can pose some serious risks ranging from kidney failure and brain damage to death. In fact, Foodsafety.gov reports that in the U.S. alone, approximately 3,000 people die each year of illnesses associated with foodborne illness.

The Usual Suspects

“Many people think of undercooked poultry or potato salad left in the summer sun as top food sources of foodborne illness,” says Koskinen.
But the truth is a lot shadier.
“The thing about foodborne illness is that all foods are possible carriers,” she insists. “If not because they are breeding grounds for microorganisms, but due to cross contamination.”
For example, bread is typically considered a safe food. However, invisible mold spores from one piece may contaminate other pieces without any fuzzy evidence.

Likewise, if you handle contaminated raw meat and then touch an otherwise ready-to-serve item, the ready-to-serve item is now contaminated.
Still, some foods have a worse rap than others, which is why we’ve broken it down for you with this handy list of a few common risky foods to look out for:

Poultry

You probably guessed this immediately—and for good reason. The harbinger of multiple bacteria types, raw poultry can become contaminated with salmonella or Campylobacter.

Eating an undercooked bird (or even digesting its juices) puts you at risk for foodborne illness. Stay on the safe side by employing these four simple steps when handling and preparing poultry.

Eggs

What came first, the salmonella or the egg? While we may never know the answer, one thing’s for sure: Finding out ain’t no walk in the park. The CDC warns that a normal-looking egg can be the culprit for making you really, really sick.

But take heart, you can reduce your risk by cooking eggs to an internal temperature of 160 degrees Fahrenheit (71 degrees Celcius) or hotter, refrigerating them promptly after cooking, and making sure to wash your hands and basically all the things that came into contact with them afterward.

Cheese

Raise your hand if you’re starting to feel personally attacked. Turns out our favorite food comes with a high risk for listeria. Brie, camembert, ricotta, and feta all sound delicious but can be huge risk factors, especially for pregnant women.

Even a mild infection can cause miscarriage or premature birth.

Berries

Before you pop another unwashed berry in your mouth, consider this: A dime-sized morsel can be your downfall.
There’s a reason your mom was always yelling at you to wash your fruit before eating—the little suckers have been linked to a germ called Cyclospora, which causes severe diarrhea, dehydration, and cramps.

Raw Seafood

Not to scare you off your next ceviche, but it turns out some deadly Vibrio infections are associated with eating raw shellfish (sushi lovers take heed: Your favorite treat may carry parasites and liver flukes).

Even scarier? According to WebMD, there’s no specific cure available for shellfish poisoning, and antibiotics don’t shorten the illness. Meaning…I’m out.

Foods You’d Never Expect to Cause Foodborne Illness

Melons

When not properly washed before slicing, this tasty fruit can become contaminated with salmonella.

In fact, pre-cut melon sold in clear, plastic containers accounted for over sixty cases of salmonella outbreak earlier this year as reported by Alix Langone at Time.

Romaine Lettuce

While you’re fretting about the potato salad or ground beef at your friend’s BBQ, romaine lettuce is yet another thing to add to your list of concerns.
The leafy vegetable was recently associated with five deaths and numerous illnesses caused by E. coli infections.

Deli Meats

Not-so-fun fact: listeria or Staphylococcus aureus can occur after factory cooking or at the deli counter (I mean, are there any safe foods?). Turns out, the bacteria that causes listeriosis live in soil or animal intestines and can contaminate food.

If you think that is way more info than you needed to know—you would be right. Heat up all your meats, basically.

Raw Sprouts

You probably have a box of these stashed in your fridge somewhere (especially if you’ve recently hopped onto the healthy-eating bandwagon) but here’s something you should know: They’ve been known to carry salmonella, E. coli, and listeria. It’s like the jackpot of risky foods. In other words, be afraid, be very afraid. All kidding aside: Cook before you eat.

Ready-to-Eat Foods

Restaurant goers beware: Your favorite menu items can easily be contaminated with norovirus. The most commonly contaminated prepared foods, according to Koskinen, include salads, sandwiches, ice, cookies, and fruit. This is just another reason to be picky about which establishments you choose to frequent.

Meat and Poultry Products Like Stews, Casseroles, and Gravy

These staples are linked to institutional-style food service, like what you might see in cafeteria or banquet settings, explains Koskinen. When made in large batches and kept warm for too long before serving, these products may include a helping of Clostridium perfringens.

Signs to Look Out For

Koskinen warns us against relying on obvious tell-tale signs to determine when foods have gone bad (e.g. off color, off smell, a furry coat of mold). “It’s foolish to depend on your senses to decide if a pathogenic overgrowth has happened.”

Similarly, we shouldn’t buy into the belief that refrigeration and freezing kill bacteria. They don’t. “Refrigeration and freezing simply slow down the pathogen reproduction,” she explains. “Freezing slows it down more, which is why we can keep foods longer in the freezer than the refrigerator, and why you can get food poisoning from foods left in the refrigerator too long.”
So what then is the key to knowing whether your meal is safe or not? According to Koskinen, we should look to our local newspaper to find out if any restaurants have been flagged by the health department. “I follow which restaurants are issued infractions and what those infractions are.”
Keep an eye out for establishments that have been cited for having limited access to a hand washing sink or with no soap at the sink. If you aren’t privy to a health department report, you can get a feel for whether a food purveyor’s prioritizing sanitation by the way they keep the rest of the restaurant. Dirty restrooms or dining areas are a good indicator that things may not be as clean as they should be in the kitchen, Koskinen notes.

Overall, she asks us to keep in mind that “quality restaurants are obsessive about cleanliness, as not only the safety of their guests, but their reputations depend on it.”
Needless to say, any signs of vermin should be a red flag. (In other words, RUN.)

Tips for Avoiding Foodborne Illness.

While you can never get back those precious hours of life back, there are a few things you can do to avoid another 12-hour bathroom fiasco:

Wash your hands.

Always wash your hands before you eat or prepare food. Also, remember to wash thoroughly before cooking, and even more often if you’re dealing with raw meats or produce.

“Thorough hand washing means using soap and warm water,” Koskinen insists, stressing that any wanna-be cooks should remember to wash the fronts, backs, palms, between the fingers and under the nails for 20 seconds or more. “Sing the ABC song as a good guideline of what 20 seconds is,” she says.

Cook foods thoroughly.

Especially meats (even more important for those who like their steaks on the rare side). Also, remember to use this chart provided by the CDC for safe food-cooking temperatures. Be sure to keep hot food hot and cold food cold.

“Hot food should be kept at 140 degrees or warmer, cold foods at 40 degrees or cooler,” Koskinen says. “Anything else puts your food in the ‘Danger Zone,’ which is where bacteria most rapidly multiply.”

Store properly.

Keep raw meat, poultry, seafood, and eggs separate from ready-to-eat foods. This means not storing raw animal proteins directly above the latter in the fridge.

Food should be stored within two hours of being served, but that time goes down to one hour if service is outside and the ambient temperature is 90 degrees or warmer.

Be proactive.

So you’ve survived to tell the tale of your food poisoning misfortunes—now what? Aside from becoming a restaurant-hermit for the next few months, you can opt to pay it forward (your new-found wisdom, that is). The CDC has outlined a few key ways you can help prevent future foodborne disease outbreaks, namely, by reporting your illness to our Health Department, speaking to your health care provider, and keeping track of what you ate and did before getting sick (gather food receipts and sharing this info with investigators).

All of this sounds well and good, but if you’re still feeling wary of ever dining out again, remember this: the best treatment is prevention and trusting your gut (if the ceviche smells off, please don’t eat it). Or as Koskinen puts it: “When in doubt, throw it out. A bit of leftover picnic food for lunch isn’t worth a trip to the hospital.”
I think we can all heartily agree with that logic.

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Happy Home Lifestyle

The Broke Girl’s Guide To Decorating A Home You Actually Want To Live In

Post author By Sara Lindberg
Post date October 3, 2018

Let’s face it: Decorating your living space can be a real drag, especially if you’re low on money. Sure, you can call on your Pinterest friends to lend a hand with design and shopping, but what if their chic style is way out of your budget? Don’t worry—we’ve got you covered. In fact, just think of us as your frugal friends with a flair for fun (and alliteration).
If you’re on a tight budget and want to add some pizzazz to your home, you need a comprehensive list of budget-friendly decor items, and forget about building your own. Unless you have an endless amount of time to look around for the latest and greatest products to makeover your space, you may give up before you even get started. Well, here’s your solution.
We’ve put together a list of 38 budget-friendly home decor products that you can order from the comfort of your own home, right from Amazon. Whether you’re looking to lighten up a room with sleek new curtains, free up some floor space with a corner unit, or just give one of your walls a color pop, these stylish, practical products are for you.

1. LED lights can brighten up every space in your home.

You don’t have to wait for a holiday to hang decorative lights. These LED light strings from Twinkle Star add a touch of fancy festivity to any room in your home. Hang them behind a sheer curtain for a subtle look, or string them throughout the space to liven up a not-so-exciting room.

You can control the rhythm of the lights to match your mood. There are eight different modes to choose from, including sequential, slow fade, twinkle/flash, and steady-on.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Twinkle-Window-Curtain-String-Light/dp/B01LLSNG1E”]Twinkle Star 300 LED Window Curtain String Lights, $15.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

2. This set of key hooks will help keep you organized.

Pick up this wall-mounted key holder from Comfify, and forget about losing your keys. This decorative rack features four hooks and spells out the word “keys,” so you won’t be confused.

But it’s not just your keys that will find a nice home on this rack. You can also hang lanyards, light coats, hats, pet leashes, and any other small item you might want to grab when you head out the door.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Key-Holder-Keys-Decorative-AL-1507-20/dp/B011MRJHC6″]Wall-Mounted Key Holder, $11.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

3. Farmhouse design meets modern-day style.

Bring the farmhouse look into your home with these attractive rustic shelving units. This set of three Rustic Farmhouse Floating Box Shelves looks amazing on any wall.

The shelves come in a variety of shapes, including hexagons, squares, and triangles. You can also choose from lots of gorgeous colors: white, weathered gray, brown, black, and turquoise. These shelves are ideal for displaying pictures and knickknacks, but they also look great completely empty.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Rustic-Farmhouse-Floating-Box-Shelves/dp/B014DTWNOE”]Rustic Farmhouse Floating Box Shelves, $39.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

4. Give your furniture a much-needed makeover.

Do your friends cringe at the thought of sitting on your couch? If you need an easy way to dress up ugly furniture, these removable covers are for you. Chunyi Jacquard Furniture Covers will turn your hideous couch, love seat, or favorite chair into a showpiece that everyone will talk about.

And the best part? The covers are machine-washable, and they come in a variety of colors, including gray, coffee, chocolate, ivory white, and many more.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Jacquard-1-Piece-Polyester-Spandex-Slipcover/dp/B00X59EJ6Y”]Chunyi Jacquard Furniture Covers, $28.95 to $38.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

5. Spice up bland corners with these specially designed shelves.

Do corners ever seem like a waste of space to you? Try to fit a table into the corner, and you end up with an awkward-looking space (and, potentially, bruised shins). That’s why these wall-mounted corner shelves from Greenco are such a great find.

These easy-to-hang shelves come in a rich espresso color, and they have plenty of room for displaying your favorite pictures, plants, clocks, or whatever else you’re into.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Greenco-Corner-Shelves-Espresso-Finish/dp/B01GIJBK50″]Greenco 5-Tier Wall Mount Corner Shelves, $26.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

6. This candle just keeps on shining.

Candles can make any home more inviting, but you can’t burn them unattended. Plus, they can make a great big waxy mess after you blow out the flame. So how do you boost the ambiance without an annoying (or potentially dangerous) aftermath?

Try these super-realistic LED tea lights from Homemory. These 12 electric candles glow with a warm white color. They’ll light up any space for more than 100 hours before you need to replace the batteries.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Homemory-Realistic-Flickering-Flameless-Celebration/dp/B01EDKGFGU”]Homemory LED Tea Lights, $9.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

7. Get some zen in your life.

We can all use a little more meditative calm in our lives, right? Well, with this decorative holder and three glass votives, you can introduce a relaxing ambiance to any room in your house. This candlescape set from Dawhud Direct comes with a wooden plate, three glass votive holders, and a variety of stones in natural earth-tone shades.

One note: The entire set is a bit small, so it’ll look best on a smaller surface.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Candlescape-Decorative-Candle-Holders/dp/B01LTDZBSW”]Natural Candlescape Set, $15.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

8. Free up space with this country decor wall organizer.

You will adore this rustic wall-mounted organizer. It looks like it just came out of a turn-of-the-century farmhouse. With two shelves and two hooks, this wooden organizer is the perfect addition to any entryway, kitchen, or mudroom.

Plus, it comes with a small metal pail to help get you started on decorating the shelves. Make sure you have the appropriate tools to hang this piece because the hardware is not included.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/MyGift-Mounted-Organizer-Shelves-Storage/dp/B00WVXTKAU”]MyGift Rustic Wood Wall Mounted Organizer, $34.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

9. Bring the herb garden indoors, or decorate with adorable succulents.

Say goodbye to last-minute trips to the grocery store! While you’re at it, forget about going outside to cut fresh herbs. With these rustic pots, you can plant your own basil, thyme, and rosemary right there in the kitchen.

If you’re not into herbs, throw in some succulents or small flowering plants for an adorable, natural decoration. These pots are small enough to sit on a windowsill but large enough to add a touch of the outdoors to your kitchen.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Vencer-Country-Turquoise-Succulent-Planters/dp/B06X9B9KZB”]Vencer County Rustic Planter, $22.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

10. Pick up a throw that looks and feels amazing.

A beautiful throw draped over your couch looks amazing any time of the year. If you’re on a budget and looking to add some style to your living room, a throw is your best bet.

These silky-soft throws from Bourina come in a variety of colors including dark grey, blue, beige, and light lavender. This throw is machine-washable, so you can still eat ice cream while lazing on the couch.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MAW1T9I”]Bourina Throw, $19.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

11. Choose a pillow cover for every day of the week.

Pillows make any couch cozy and cute. But who wants to buy a new pillow every time you want to change things up? Fortunately, these pillow covers from CaliTime come in a two-pack and include colors such as teal, navy blue, medium grey, and coffee.

Grab a few and change out your color scheme on a daily basis! The chenille surface will feel great on your face when your couch convinces you that it’s time for a nap.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/CaliTime-Pillow-Covers-Decoration-Chenille/dp/B07569ZT5K”]CaliTime Pack of 2 Cozy Throw Pillow Covers, $15.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

12. Dress up this pillow any way you want.

Every room needs a few pillows, right? These cover-free pillows from Utopia Bedding are the perfect way to fit style into a tight budget…provided you took our advice and picked up some of those CaliTime throw covers! These are square throw pillows, ideal for the couch.

They’re stuffed with siliconized fiber that won’t thin out over time. Enjoy nice, comfortable, plump throw pillows today and well into the future.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Utopia-Bedding-Decorative-Pillow-Inserts/dp/B078TKMKKL”]Utopia Bedding Decorative Pillow Inserts, $19.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

13. This faux lavender looks like you just cut it from your garden.

Fresh lavender is only available for a few months out of the year, but don’t worry. This artificial lavender fits nicely in any vase, making an easy way to add some color to your home.

This plastic bouquet includes six stems of gorgeous, fake lavender, complete with leaves and buds, just like the real thing. Spritz a little lavender essential oil on them and you’ll swear they’re fresh from the garden.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/VANCORE-Plastic-Lavender-Bouquet-Artificial/dp/B0711CV3FT”]6-Piece Artificial Lavender Bouquet, $13.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

14. Show off your artificial lavender—or fresh-cut flowers—with this metal vase.

After you pick up a few sprigs of artificial lavender, you need a place to display them, right? These rustic pitchers provide a beautiful display for artificial or fresh-cut flowers.

Of course, you can also use these decorative jugs for their intended purpose: carrying water around the garden. Whether you employ these jugs in the backyard or on the dinner table, the distressed finish and subtle color are sure to delight.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/VANCORE-Shabby-Pitcher-Flower-Decoration/dp/B07DZRP8GX”]VANCORE Shabby-Chic Metal Jug, $20.98 from Amazon[/link-button]

15. Meet the serving tray that doubles as coffee table decor.

Serve up your scones and coffee in style with this artfully distressed serving tray. It’s constructed almost entirely from whitewashed wood, but it looks like it’s been weathered for decades. Black metal handles provide an easy grip.

If you’d describe your style as “shabby-chic,” this serving tray for you. It also doubles as a coffee table centerpiece; throw a few vases or mugs on it to create a great (and almost effortlessly simple) display.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Distressed-Torched-20-Inch-Serving-Handles/dp/B075NSY1KT”]Distressed Torched Wood Serving Tray, $39.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

16. This is the one home decor item everyone needs.

If there is one item that belongs on every home decor list, it’s curtains. Yes, those good, old-fashioned curtains you grew up with can add style and elegance to any window or glass door in your home.

Depending on the look you’re going for, you can add color to a room with hot pink curtains, or simply add some style with soft white drapery. These curtains from Home Linen Collections are sheer, which means you still get to enjoy the sunlight. They’re also washable for stress-free cleaning.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072N1QNL6″]Home Linen Collections Sheer Curtains, $12.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

17. What good is a curtain without a rod?

So you’ve spent hours settling on the perfect curtains for the living room, and you’re ready for a break. Not so fast! You still need to find a curtain rod to match. We recommend this easy-to-hang double rod from Umbra.

It’s adjustable, so you can add curtains to virtually any window. Plus, the minimalist nickel finish matches any style. The dual-rod construction lets you hang two sets of curtains on a single unit.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Umbra-1005892-782-REM-Twilight-Room-Darkening-Curtain/dp/B01N683R28″]Umbra REM Curtain Rod 48” to 88,” Matte Nickel, $34.98 from Amazon[/link-button]

18. Add a touch of nature to your home with these lifelike twin plants.

If you have a tendency to kill anything you plant, you might try going with artificial greenery. These imitation potted plants will brighten up your bathroom—or any room in your house, for that matter. And the best part? There’s no watering required!

This set comes with two artificial potted plants, each in its own decorative pot. At just 4” tall, they’re perfect for bathroom shelves, side tables, and desks.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Bloom-Times-Bathroom-Artificial-Decorations/dp/B07698CVNW”]Bloom Times Artificial Plants, $13.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

19. Liven up a dreary bathroom with this fun vintage sign.

Want to make a little money at your next house party? Hang this vintage sign, which advertises “fresh soap and water” for just a nickel, in your bathroom. Don’t forget to leave a money jar by the sink!

This fun bit of vintage wall-art from Ohio Wholesale will be good for a laugh when your friends pop into the restroom. They may even take the message to heart and leave you some spare change.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Ohio-Wholesale-Advertising-Americana-Collection/dp/B0070AMQGY”]Ohio Wholesale Vintage Bath Wall Art, $13.30 from Amazon[/link-button]

20. Hide your cotton swabs in this chic lotus-themed holder.

Looking for a better way to store boring old Q-tips? Well, look no further. You can tuck up to 30 cotton swabs in this super-cute, lotus-inspired container. The white tips look like they’re part of the design, so no one will even know they’re there.

This item is small enough to fit on your packed bathroom shelves, and it includes a shatterproof clear lid to keep swabs clean. It also makes a nice decorative piece for your bathroom counter.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/MelonBoat-Cotton-Toothpicks-Storage-Organizer/dp/B00ZFL8JZC”]MelonBoat Lotus Cotton Swab Holder, $7.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

21. This sleek napkin holder solves your napkin-supply problem.

How many times do you reach for a napkin only to come up empty-handed? This fun, functional napkin holder ensures you won’t have to rely on your shirt next time you spill the ketchup.

This clever design expands or shrinks when you squeeze the sides. In other words, the shape of the holder adjusts based on the number of napkins you have. Pretty cool! Not only does it serve the purpose of housing your napkins, it also makes a great centerpiece for your kitchen table.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Umbra-Swivel-Napkin-Holder-Nickel/dp/B00S13U84Q”]Umbra Swivel Adjustable Napkin Holder, $13 from Amazon[/link-button]

22. This minimalist trash can gives any room a modern look.

Whoever thought a trash can would make a home decor list? When we saw this stylish design, though, we realized that even a wastebasket can contribute to the room’s overall look.

These trash cans are modern and simple, and at 11” tall, they don’t take up much space. The space they do fill pops with your choice of subtle colors, including spruce, white, charcoal, espresso, and black. Toss your trash with a dash of elegance.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S13POIQ”]Umbra Woodrow Trash Can, $19.94 from Amazon[/link-button]

23. Here’s cute countertop solution for all of your kitchen clutter.

We all have kitchen-counter clutter, and regardless of how you stack it, there are very few ways to make that mess look good. Here’s the good news: There are plenty of stylish products you can buy to help organize your spices, oils, and anything else that takes up space on your counter.

Storing jars and bottles is easy with the Tosca Kitchen Rack from YAMAZAKI Home Tosca. This compact unit has two shelves that are big enough to fit your favorite herb and spice jars.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IM2XI6G”]YAMAZAKI Home Tosca Kitchen Rack, $40.00 from Amazon[/link-button]

24. Store fruits and vegetables with contemporary style.

Display your fruits and veggies in a unique metal basket with contemporary design. Open construction lets your produce breathe, which helps keep it fresh longer. And get this: When you’re finished using this basket to store your food, you can fold it up and put it in a drawer.

On the other hand, why store it out of sight when its clean lines and stainless steel construction look so great on the kitchen counter?
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UP5TJW0″]Stainless Steel Fruit Basket, $22.55 from Amazon[/link-button]

25. Turn an empty corner into a useful storage space that looks amazing.

This five-tier shelving unit fits snugly into corners, while a rounded outer edge softens the contours of the room. It’s made from particle board and PVC tubes, which keep it light and easy to move. While these materials might not sound very…premium…they’re finished to look like a shelf that costs three times as much.

Choose from a variety of finishes and colors, including beech and white, light cherry and black, espresso and black, and straight-up walnut.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007E4Y5T2″]Furinno Turn-n-Tube 5-Tier Corner Shelf, $19.73 to $26.59 from Amazon[/link-button]

26. If you have a passion for cycling, reading, or both, here’s a bookend for you.

Bookends don’t have to be boring. This set depicts a vintage bicycle with an art deco aesthetic. One bookend makes up the rear of the bike, while the other carries the front; the effect is that of a bicycle riding right through your library.

A textured iron finish warms up the sculpture of sorts. Each bookend stands 8” tall by 6” wide, so they can squeeze onto most shelves or end tables without a problem.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0057RJZQG”]Deco Metal Bookend Pair, $26.86 from Amazon[/link-button]

27. Get the look of subway tile without the tough installation.

Do you love the clean look of a subway-tile backsplash, but loathe the idea of working with grout and sealer? Give these adhesive sheets a try. Yes, we said adhesive; in other words, these are stickers.

The sheets are raised to look like actual tiles. All you have to do is peel and stick to a clean surface. The adhesive cures in just 24 hours, leaving a secure, attractive surface. These function a lot like real tile—without the risk of moldy grout.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B073NSLNXH”]Tic Tac Tiles Anti-Mold Peel-and-Stick Wall Tile, $35.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

28. This classic framed mirror will be right at home with any decor.

No matter how you have your living space decorated, this mirror will fit right in. It’s a sizable rectangle that measures 21.5” by 27.5”. Install this mirror vertically or horizontally to fit your overall decorating scheme.

The mirror features a wide, 3” frame that’s available in white, pewter, bronze, or flat black. This budget-friendly mirror from MCS compliments any room, and it’s fitted with four D-rings on the back to simplify hanging.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/MCS-15-5×21-5-21-5×27-5-Overall-20450/dp/B00I3WZ886″]MCS Mirror, $39.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

29. You don’t need to be an artist to put a gorgeous mural on the wall.

If you’re not an accomplished painter, we wouldn’t recommend using your wall as a canvas. Luckily, adhesives are the new trend in affordable home decor. All you have to do is pick up this three-dimensional wall decal, stick it to any surface, and enjoy—no art school background necessary.

This beautiful tree mural from Hermione Baby makes a great backdrop for any couple’s living room or bedroom. To stay on budget, choose the small or medium option.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B014F36UIS”]Couple’s Tree Wall Mural, $23.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

30. Make your bedroom wall a conversation piece with this family-tree decal.

Do you have a hard time keeping track of all of the members of your family? Decorate your living space while tracking your family’s growth with this enormous vinyl wall decal. It depicts a stylized tree, with eight empty squares for hanging family portraits.

It sticks to your walls and peels off easily when you’re ready for something new. The applied design measures about 6’ by 8’, meaning it can fill a lot of blank wall space.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/LaceDecaL-install-history-bedroom-decoration/dp/B01H60TM2I”]Lace Decal Large Family Tree Wall Decal, $9.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

31. Glam out your living room with a silver alligator-skin serving tray.

Okay, it’s not real alligator skin. Alligator skin is not silver, at least not that we’ve seen. But this is a fun centerpiece with an unabashedly playful vibe. Take it off the table to serve guests at your next evening party, or add some panache to your next breakfast in bed.

This rectangular serving tray from Home Redefined comes with handles for easy serving, and when it gets dirty, all you have to do is wipe it clean with a damp cloth.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Decorative-Home-Redefined-Occassions/dp/B0723G3J4R”]Silver Alligator-Skin Rectangular Serving Tray, $19.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

32. Store your towels and magazines on this simple, super-cute ladder.

Who said ladders are just for climbing? This steel storage unit rests against any wall in the house, but it’s particularly useful in the bathroom. It makes a great place to hang bath towels, magazines, and more.

This storage ladder has a rich bronze finish and features five rungs for hanging your stuff. It stands around five feet tall and doesn’t weigh much, which makes it easy to move from room to room.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/mDesign-Standing-Towel-Storage-Ladder/dp/B017A3P17G”]mDesign Storage Ladder, $29.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

33. Function meets style with this crisp little nightstand.

Every bedroom needs a nightstand, right? Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to find the right combination of function, style, and price point—until now, that is. This minimalist nightstand from Zinus Modern Studio Collection fits right next to your bed, where it takes up very little room.

This little table works great for books, magazines, lamps, alarm clocks, and more. Plus, the square tubing frame and an espresso finish give this nightstand a chic, modern look.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Zinus-Modern-Studio-Collection-Square/dp/B01I5ZLJ3I”]Zinus Modern Studio Collection Nightstand, $38.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

34. This coat rack holds everything but the kitchen sink, which is fine, because the sink still belongs in the kitchen.

This bamboo coat rack was built in the “Scandinavian style,” according to the Amazon product description. If you’ve ever been to IKEA, you know what that means: beauty, affordability, and functionality. This wall-mounted unit features a modern design that works well with existing decor of all styles.

Hang coats from five metal hooks along the bottom of the rack. The top shelf displays your favorite tchotchkes—or just use it to hold your coffee cup while you put your shoes on!
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/LANGRIA-Wall-Mounted-Storage-Scandinavian-Bathroom/dp/B06XYHFCLJ”]LANGRIA Wall-Mounted Bamboo Coat Rack, $28.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

35. Build your own custom shelving units with these modular storage cubes.

Who doesn’t like storage units you can stack? If you’re living in a small home or apartment, floor space is a hot commodity. That’s why the Modular Shelf Cube Storage System from Foremost is so great.

Each individual unit features two shelves to store books, magazines, or whatever else. Plus, the top serves as a solid table. If you need extra storage, pick up two or three of these cube systems and stack them on top of each other.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Foremost-327301-Modular-Storage-System/dp/B000O1AOTM”]Foremost Modular Shelf Cube Storage System, $20.35 from Amazon[/link-button]

36. You’ve never seen a flower vase like this one before.

Somehow, this set of teeny tiny vases can make an entire room feel particularly welcoming. Pick up your own and you’ll see what we mean. This is a set of eight small, tubular vases, ideal for a single stem each. The entire unit fits on any table, counter, or windowsill.

Various color schemes are available to fit any decor. Fill the vases with fresh-cut or artificial lavender, roses, or herbs to create your own decorative centerpiece.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Chive-Rectangle-Decorative-Centerpieces-Chartreuse/dp/B010E3QXLW”]Unique Rectangle Ceramic Flower Vases, $28.85 from Amazon[/link-button]

37. Give your kitchen island a modern appearance with this copper stool.

No more standing at the sink while you enjoy the day’s first cup of coffee. Pick up a few of these industrial-style stools, and you can finally take a seat at your kitchen island to enjoy your morning in comfort—and style. Don’t forget the style.

These attractive stools are suitable for indoor and outdoor use, and with their copper powder-coat finish, they’re easy to clean. Pick up a few, if you’d like; they’re stackable for simple storage.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Flash-Furniture-Backless-Indoor-Outdoor-Counter/dp/B01JCED2W2″]Flash Furniture Backless Copper Stool, $36.25 from Amazon[/link-button]

38. Store your sundries the old-fashioned way with this set of apothecary jars.

Create a vintage decoration while actually doing something useful: Storing your stuff. This set of three apothecary jars is ideal for decoration and storage alike.

Fill them with jelly beans or M&Ms in the kitchen; store Q-tips and cotton balls in the bathroom; or fill with colored sand and seashells for a handsome living room display. These jars are made of pure, clear glass, so they’ll highlight the simple beauty of whatever they hold.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Mantello-Decor-Glass-Apothecary-Medium/dp/B07C8FMFBF/”]Mantello Decor Apothecary Jars, Set of 3, $34.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

Tags Commerce, social

Mindful Parenting Motherhood

Teachers Reveal Their Craziest Parent Stories

Post author By R.J. Wilson
Post date October 3, 2018

Ask any teacher what they think of their students’ parents, and you’ll get the same general answer: “They’re great…for the most part.”
Unfortunately, the worst parents make the job much more difficult. It’s hard enough making lesson plans and keeping your classroom under control; when you’ve got a parent hovering over your shoulder, it’s significantly worse.
Fortunately, bad parents make for great stories. We collected a few of the best teacher anecdotes from recent Reddit threads, then edited them slightly for grammar and readability. Before you start complaining to your kid’s teacher, keep these stories in mind.

Remember, parents: It’s not about you.

“As a music teacher, I had a mother of a student who would crash choir rehearsal for our Christmas concert and try to ‘demonstrate’ how she had learned to sing ‘O Holy Night’ when she had been a student,” wrote Back2Bach (who might have the best username we’ve ever seen).

“Not only was her pitch three cents short of a dollar, but it took the principal and custodian to escort her out of the rehearsal room. For their part, the students thought it was ‘planned comedy.’ However, it was not!”

Yes, you can get too involved in your child’s education.

“I’ve been pretty lucky,” wrote BosskHogg. “Most of my parents have been cool, supportive, and laid back. I did, however, have one mom who stalked me heavily online—not because she liked me, but because she wanted to constantly talk about her daughter’s (supposed lack of) progress.”

“She sent me friend requests repeatedly and showed up at the school once while I was teaching to ask me why I didn’t accept her request. She somehow got my personal email and began emailing my personal email rather than my work email. She also told her daughter to follow me home one day so she could ‘stop by’ sometime. Thankfully, the daughter told me about this in advance, and she didn’t do it.”
“It finally ended when the daughter was pulled from the school after a lawsuit was filed declaring negligence on our part for not ‘meeting the student’s needs.’ The daughter was a straight-B student who didn’t really act out too much and seemed to enjoy school.”

Sometimes, a parent’s religious beliefs can be an issue.

“I had a parent of a kindergartner tell me, in all seriousness, that she was told by their church prophet that my student was sent to lead the world into salvation,” wrote Esk_209. “Her little girl was the second coming of Christ.”
“Gee, no pressure. ‘Here, teach the Christ-child to read.’ Plus, she was one of the meanest children I ever taught.”
Oddly enough, that’s not the most unbelievable story involving religion.
“I’m currently dealing with a parent who thought I that I taught their kid about Jihad,” wrote the ironically named Mynameiswrath. “We had ‘Holidays Around the World’ before our winter break. Each teacher took a holiday and explained it through activities, videos, music, food, etc.”
“I chose Diwali and decorated my room in lights. We had a fun writing/coloring activity and a child-friendly video about the holiday.”
Diwali, by the way, is the Hindu festival of lights. It celebrates the power of light over darkness and the triumph of good versus evil. Pretty good stuff, right?
(There’s also a Diwali in Jainism, another ancient religion in India. The commenter clarified that they were speaking specifically about the Hindu version. Either way, both are celebrations of goodness.)

“The student then goes home and tells the parent that I was teaching about killing and about a religion that started with a J.”
“The parents questioned their child to the point of him crying. I asked him about it, and he said that they wouldn’t let him leave it alone, and he ended up crying for a while about it. The parent said they knew it wasn’t the Jewish religion, so then it had to be Jihad.”
“What?! Jihad? That’s a religion? And if it was a religion, why would I be teaching that to my elementary classroom? Seriously, facepalm.”
“The best part is that the parent CC’d my boss on the email without talking to me at all about it. My boss usually faults on the side of his teachers, so I’m not worried about that, but I just couldn’t believe a well-educated adult thought that Jihad was a religion. She asked her husband, and he agreed it had to be Jihad as well! If that is the mindset in that child’s home, they have a lot to overcome.”

No, your report card isn’t just a reflection of your genetics.

Reddit user Lechuck333 is a student teacher.
“This one isn’t so bad as it is stupid,” they wrote. When a teacher calls something “stupid,” you know you’re getting a good story.
“I had a pair of twins in my French class. One was quite bright, but not perfect; say in the B+/A- range. The other, not so much. The other twin was failing by a large margin.”

“Parents’ night. As a student teacher, I didn’t have to go, but I figured it was best to keep up appearances. The twins’ mom comes in and we all talk about the first twins’ grades. I’m mainly saying that they do this well, and this, and that they need to work on this to get past the B+. As for the other twin, we list our concerns: They are good at this, but they really struggle with that, blah blah blah. Just your standard feedback that would help both twins do well.”
“However, the mother gave one of the stupidest responses I’d ever heard. Both the teacher and myself were speechless. You’d think her comment was a joke, but she was serious—dead serious. And I bet it’s not the first time she’s said it.”
“Her response: ‘But if they’re identical twins, shouldn’t they have the same grade?’”

If you’ve got a problem, take it up with the teachers.

“My wife is the principal of an expensive daycare,” wrote Takenorinvalid. “Like, really expensive. Every parent drives a BMW or better.”
“A 3-year-old once ran away from the group during a field trip. The teacher, an incredibly mild woman, caught the kid and asked him if he thought what he did was good or bad. She didn’t hit him, she didn’t even criticize him or make him go in time out—she just asked him if he thought it was a good thing to do.”

“The mother freaked out. Not because her child nearly went missing—she was furious that any type of discipline whatsoever was administered. My wife was on the phone with her until 2:00 a.m. while this woman screamed, ‘She has no right to tell my child what to do! Who does she think she is?’”
“Fortunately, the woman became angry enough that she pulled her kid out a few days later. But that teacher is now so terrified to discipline her students that her class is out of control.”

When your kid’s in college, it’s time to let go.

“[I have issues with] any parent of a college-age student that thinks they still need or can do anything about their child’s grade,” wrote Rockman507. “For all four terms I’ve taught freshman biology labs, I’ve had at least one student’s parent call my admin about why there is someone with a B.S. in physics teaching their precious child biology. What does he know about grading lab reports?”
“And they’ll say that they need to change their precious child’s grade on the last report—the one that was supposed to be 10 pages with graphs, but their innocent perfect child turned in only one page with no graph—from an ‘F’ to the more fair ‘A’ grade.”

“A PhD does not make you a good teacher. It also doesn’t mean you know intro-level general biology 101 any better than someone that completed a general senior year of biology undergrad classes and a full degree in another lab science.”
“The last thing you really want is a PhD in a lab section teaching you how to hold the petri dish close to a flame for aseptic technique…they will assume since they have been dealing with capable students for 10-20 years that you already know all the nuances and therefore harder for them to come down to your level as a freshman in explaining topics and techniques.”

If you’re going to make a scene, make sure you’re right.

“I walk into the school office to check my mailbox,” wrote Woolyboy76. “A parent of one of my students sees me and says very loudly, almost screaming: ‘Oh, finally! Look, everyone, I found a teacher! Do you realize that I left work early to come here after school to talk to my son’s teachers about his report card, and you are literally the only teacher I have found?’”
He continued, obviously—when parents are angry, it’s hard to get them to shut up.
“‘I went from classroom to classroom and everyone is gone! Do you know what time it is? It’s 3:45 p.m.! School ended fifteen minutes ago! Fifteen minutes! And you’re the only teacher still here! Can you explain to me why everyone in the building is gone? Can you explain to me why every teacher has left the building when school just got out?’”
“I paused, waiting to see if there was more. When I realized he had finished, I said, ‘All the teachers are in the library. We’re having a faculty meeting.’”
“The look on his face was priceless. He knew he was in the wrong, but by that point, he had committed so fiercely to his anger and righteousness that he couldn’t just apologize. So instead, he said, ‘Well, that’s just irresponsible.’ And he walked out of the office.”

The “nightmare parents” aren’t always the ones that stick with teachers.

“I worked at a school for blind and visually impaired kids,” wrote Clavalle. “This woman had a daughter that was blind and mentally delayed, but otherwise healthy. They were referred to our school when the daughter was in her mid-teens. Her mother did so much for this girl that she considered completely helpless (she was not). Her legs atrophied and she couldn’t stand on her own.”
“We dealt with our share of nightmare parents of various stripes—from the completely uninvolved to control freaks who knew every bureaucratic trick that they could pull to get what they wanted—but this one, the one that cared so much for her daughter that she crippled her even further, is the one I think back to the most often. It was a constant battle to get her to back off and let her daughter learn to be an independent person.”

Evolution’s always a touchy subject.

However, it’s also solid science—like it or not.
“My favorite one was the lady who wrote a letter to all four principals, the superintendent, and every member of the school board,” wrote Wardsac. “She was threatening to sue the board if I wasn’t fired, because I referenced evolution (along with gravity and a few other topics) in a conversation with my class about the difference between a ‘theory’ and a ‘scientific theory.’”
“Mind you, we didn’t get into anything about evolution. It was a basic freshman Intro to Physical Science class, but the fact that I even mentioned evolution was enough.”

“The meeting was spectacular. She yelled at me and the principals for a few minutes, then went into her rant about why evolution was apparently bull, referencing entropy and the laws of thermodynamics.”
“At some point, I stopped her and asked her if she understands that those laws only apply to closed systems, which the Earth is not, and she told me I was wrong—it was a closed system. I think I said something about ‘that giant ball of fire in the sky’ before my administrators excused me.”

We shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t yell at grade schoolers.

“My roommate is a preschool teacher,” wrote one Reddit user whose account has since been deleted. “She has a student in her class who is very, very rambunctious. She has a pretty good line of communication with the boy’s mother—the mother is not in denial about her son’s behavioral issues. [My roommate] also has a girl in her class who is spoiled rotten; she’s used to getting everything she wants immediately.”
“One afternoon, my roommate was waiting on parents to pick up the kids, and she was chatting with the mother of Rambunctious Boy. All of the sudden, the mother of Spoiled Girl bursts into the room.”
Dibs on “Rambunctious Boy” as our new band name.
“She starts yelling…at Rambunctious Boy. Apparently, he had pushed Spoiled Girl on the playground the day before. Spoiled Girl didn’t tell my roommate or the other teacher—just her mom. She also told her mom that Rambunctious Boy didn’t get punished (since she didn’t say anything to the teachers).”
“Her mom decides to take this out not on the teachers, but on this 4-year-old boy. She screams at him not to touch her daughter, and that there would be consequences and blah blah. Obviously, Rambunctious Boy starts crying. My roommate and the other mother are just in shock, and Spoiled Girl and her mom turn and leave in a huff.”
“Congratulations, lady. You just bullied a 4-year-old into crying. I really hope you feel good about yourself.”

Help your kids with their homework—but don’t do it for them.

“My mom was a substitute for about six months while the regular teacher was out on maternity leave,” wrote H70541. “They had a meeting with parents; to that point, my mom had had about four months with the kids to learn their names and a bit about them. This is 4th grade, mind you.”
“One parent came in flustered, beet red, complaining that their child had low scores—low Cs and mid Ds in most courses.”

“My mom had noticed that the child had not turned in much of her homework. While she’d received some of the assignments, they were clearly in the parent’s handwriting, and often with very few mistakes, especially in math, which had been honestly what had been keeping the child’s GPA in check. Her in-class work was often riddled with mistakes, which led the teacher to believe the kid wasn’t paying attention.”
“When my mom met the parents, she brought up the differences between the in-class work and the homework, then asked if they were doing the work for her, as that would damage the child’s education down the road.”
“My mom also brought this to the principal, and he just let it off. The parents yelled at her, and since the regular teacher was due to return in a few months, my mom did what any evil genius would do.”

“She cut homework in half and made most of the work in class. The child’s Cs dropped to Ds, and the Ds dropped to Fs. The parents returned even more upset that my mom was ‘intentionally failing the child.’”
“Apparently, it worked. The principal told the parents, ‘It’s her lesson plan, and a lot of the other students are jealous of her lack of homework.’” The kid began to focus more in class. When my mom checked in around the end of the year, the kid was rolling on high Cs and low Bs, and the parents’ handwriting had stopped.”

The worst stories involve parents who simply don’t listen to reason.

“I was teaching high school in the South Bronx at the time,” wrote one Reddit user. “A student of mine had just assaulted another, and I had to physically restrain him until school security showed up.”
The kid also had some choice words for the teacher—none of which we can reprint here.

“Obviously, we had to call his mom in. The first thing she said when we sat down was, ‘How did you all get my number? I thought I gave you a fake one.’ She proceeded to give no f**** about the fact that her son was on the verge of expulsion. He didn’t come back to school the following year.”
That’s heartbreaking, but we think this one’s even worse.
“I was teaching a sweet 13-year-old girl who obviously couldn’t see the board very well and needed glasses, as she was falling behind in class,” wrote Breakyourbad. “I called her mother—this is in south London, so imagine a [strong accent]—her mum told me, ‘I didn’t need glasses, my mother didn’t need glasses, so she doesn’t need any glasses,’ and hung up.”
“In that situation, you just feel for the girl.”

Tags social

Favorite Finds Motherhood

15 Baby And Kids' Products You Can Live Without…And What To Buy Instead

Post author By Cindy Lamothe
Post date October 2, 2018

When it comes to buying products for your little one, decision fatigue is real. You’ve probably scoured way too many baby item Pinterest boards to count. Truth is, there are an overwhelming amount of options and some pretty compelling reasons to want to buy all the things, causing you to quickly overspend.
Rather than waste your much-needed resources on products you don’t actually need, there are items worth every penny, and we’re here to break them down for you. Below are 15 baby and kids products you can definitely live without—and what to shop for instead!

Baby Products

1. Don’t do: Baby wipe warmer.

This is first on our list because it’s one of the most tempting purchases to pick up before your little bundle of joy arrives. It seems logical that your baby’s tiny bottom would need warm wipes, right? Wrong. From my experience, my little one couldn’t tell the difference between a room temperature wipe from a “warmed up” one. And believe you me, in those early days of parenting, you’ll be using those wipes so often that you’ll practically rip them out of the package.

Do try: These delightfully absorbent burp cloths.

Your baby is going to spit all up on you (and then some), and for this reason, you must be prepared. While wipes generally come in handy for any number of things, you’ll want to protect your clothes from getting wet in the first place. That’s why ARNIZION’s Curved Burp Cloths are so great.

You just sling one of their 100 percent cotton cloths over your shoulder, and not only will it protect you from your little angel’s drips and drools, but it also won’t slip off easily. Trust me, you’ll be using these round the clock.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Cloths-Curved-Absorbent-Valuable/dp/B075F3MQQX”]ARNIZION Baby Burp Cloth Set, $10.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

2. Don’t do: Bottle warmers.

Likewise with wipe warmers: Just don’t. Many of us parents are easily duped into these items before our kids arrive because let’s face it: We have no idea what we’re getting into. It’s like when you’re going on vacation and you buy (and then pack) a bunch of needless stuff you end up regretting. Luckily, those of us on the other side can let other parents know ahead of time.
Instead of paying money for this contraption, run your baby’s bottle under a hot faucet or warm it in a cup of hot water—BOOM. Remember, each formula’s instructions will be different, but a good rule of thumb is that it should be body temperature, meaning, it should feel warm or cool, but never hot.

Do try: Baby bottles worth investing in.

Rather than spend money on unnecessary items, spend a little more on the quality of your baby bottles (I promise, it’s worth it).

Philips Avent Anti-Colic Baby Bottles are beloved far and wide for their design and durability. And as their name implies, they are clinically proven to reduce your baby’s colic, meaning less gas and fussiness (aka a more rested you).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Philips-Avent-Anti-colic-Bottles-Clear/dp/B01M1DSSSX”]Philips Avent Anti-Colic Baby Bottles, $16.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

3. Don’t do: Baby perfume.

One of the things I love the most about my munchkin is that he always smells like peanut butter. No matter what he eats. It’s the weirdest, most lovable scent in the world to me, and I promise your little one will be equally delicious to inhale. In fact, research has shown that women, mothers or not, tend to enjoy a baby’s scent. Which brings me to my point: You do not need to cover them up with pricey, superficial fragrance.

Do try: These baby grooming essentials.

Keep your small human healthy and groomed with this handy 17-piece kit by The First Years. My two-year-old still uses the majority of these essentials.

The pack of neat items includes a nasal aspirator for cleaning out a runny nose, a digital thermometer, a medicine spoon with a cap, a nail clipper, a tiny brush and comb, and even a small rattle to keep your baby entertained and distracted. All of this comes in a practical bag to take with you on outings and trips.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/First-Years-American-Healthcare-Grooming/dp/B000LZFZVS”]Baby Healthcare And Grooming Kit, $17.13 from Amazon[/link-button]

4. Don’t do: Changing tables.

Confession time: I purchased the loveliest of changing tables before my little one got here. How did this happen? Because all of those Pinterest boards with the cute nursery rooms had them, and it seemed logical that you’d need a special place to change your child’s diapers. But here’s the thing, when it comes to parenting, you want to look at the long game (I can say this now in hindsight); in other words, find furniture that your child won’t outgrow.

Do try: A dresser that will go the distance.

Here’s what I wish I had bought two years ago: The Delta Children Universal 6 Drawer Dresser; you just set up a changing kit and pad on top, and you’re good to go.

Once your baby starts potty training, you simply take it off and have a completely functional furniture item to last you for years. Hurrah!
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Delta-Children-Universal-Drawer-Dresser/dp/B01DPH3YT8″]Delta Children Universal 6 Drawer Dresser, $249.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

5. Don’t do: Baby pillow.

As we’re certain you’ve heard before, anything other than a fitted sheet in your baby’s crib is a big no-no. Tempting as it may be, your baby will be perfectly fine to sleep without one, and you’ll stave off any potential choking hazards.

Do try: A magical sound machine to get your baby to sleep.

You know what becomes your top priority? Getting your small angel to sleep through the night. As every parent since the beginning of time can tell you, this is no easy feat. Luckily, the Baby Sleep Soother Sound Machine is basically magic.

The shushing heartbeat sound, white noise, and soft, pulsing light will lull your baby into dreamland. You can set a 10-, 20-, or 30-minute shut-off timer, too, so you can head to bed.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Portable-Sleep-Soother-Machine/dp/B01M8PJO3W”]Portable Baby Sleep Soother Sound Machine, $17.75 from Amazon[/link-button]

6. Don’t do: Diaper pails.

Diaper pails are easily one of the most overhyped items on this list. Sure, this seems like an incredibly important purchase, but really, all you need is any closed trash bin. Trust me, you’re not going to want to fill a diaper pail to the brim with stinky, soiled diapers. You’re going to immediately take out the trash after a poopy session (of which there will be plenty), so why invest in a fancy bin?

Do try: Keep your baby nearby with this rocking bassinet.

Whether you’re unsure if you’ll co-sleep or have your little angel sleep in a crib, one thing is for sure: You’ll have round the clock feedings. And for this reason, a bassinet can feel like a life-saver.

This portable bassinet by MiClassic makes sleep time a lot more manageable with its brilliant rocking mode. It also gives you the option of folding into a carry on bag for traveling.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Rocking-Bassinet-One-Second-Portable-Newborn/dp/B06ZZP4TCP”]MiClassic Rocking Bassinet, $74.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

7. Don’t do: Designer diaper bag.

As tempting as a designer bag may seem, resist the urge to spend hundreds of dollars on something meant to get dirty (diaper cream and sippy cup spillage come to mind). More importantly, you’re going to need that extra money for the loads upon loads of diapers you will actually need.

Do try: This fashionably frugal tote.

Being practical doesn’t mean you have to give up style! The striped tote from Primebabe is fashionable, and it’s also large enough to fit all of your baby’s essentials.

It also comes with an assortment of neat (and useful) accessories: a changing pad for all your outings, a bottle bag, adjustable shoulder strap, and a cute mini purse.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Capacity-Primebabe-Stroller-Organizer-Changing/dp/B01N0XP3MB”]Primebabe 5 in 1 Baby Diaper Bag, $24.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

8. Scented detergent.

While most people will simply tell you don’t do the thing, let me share my experience: I, too, bought into the hype of spending money on scented laundry detergent before my son was born, and wouldn’t-ya-know-it—he has sensitive skin. Meaning it was all for waste. Babies come straight from the womb with delicate, pristine skin—no need to push harsh soaps on them. WebMD recommends sticking to fragrance-free laundry detergents whenever possible and to keep in mind that liquid rinses out better than flakes.

Do try: A free and clear detergent that won’t harm your little one.

Since you have no way of knowing how your baby will react, keep things on the safe side with Seventh Generation’s Concentrated Laundry Detergent, an unscented and hypoallergenic alternative.

You’ll never spend as much time washing clothes as when you have a small human in your home (unless there are several!), which is all the more reason to opt for a detergent that is both tough on stains and gentle for your skin.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Seventh-Generation-Concentrated-Detergent-Unscented/dp/B0091DS0UY”]Seventh Generation’s Concentrated Laundry Detergent, $25.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

9. Don’t do: Baby shoes galore.

Teeny tiny baby shoes are the cutest. I really, truly understand the desire to buy them in the dozens. But here’s a fact: They have no actual purpose other than looking all kinds of adorable. Baby shoes for a non-walking baby is basically throwing money into a big ole’ pit with little return. Since we know the temptation is strong, we recommend limiting yourself to buying only one pair for all your photo-taking needs.

Do try: These stylish bibs that keep your baby drool-free.

There are few things I know for certain, but one of them is this: You can never have too many bibs in your parenting arsenal.

As we’ve established before, babies love to spit up all over us and themselves (and just wait until they’re teething!). These super absorbent drool bibs will keep your little one nice and dry.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Parker-Baby-Bandana-Drool-Bibs/dp/B074NXP1GR”]Parker’s Baby Bandana Drool Bibs, $21.80 from Amazon[/link-button]

10. Don’t do: Expensive bedding.

They add a layer of cuteness to your nursery room, you might say. But in reality, all of those frilly bumpers and pillows are problematic as they put your baby at risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, as soft and loose bedding can increase the potential risk of suffocation. Like we said before, you only really need a soft fitted crib sheet to cover the mattress pad, which is your safest option for bedtime.

Do try: These baby-hugging wearable blankets.

If you’re worried about your munchkin staying warm, there’s a perfect alternative to potentially hazardous bedding.

This wearable blanket from Bon Bebe Baby is pure cotton and keeps your little one nice and cozy without the added risk. This is one of our favorite items on this list, and one you’ll most likely use all day.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Bon-Bebe-Friends-Assorted-Wearable/dp/B01D1RTA1S”]Bon Bebe Baby’s Wearable Blanket, $14.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

Kids’ Products

11. Don’t do: Musical potty.

At some point in your potty training trajectory, you will have the impulse to buy a potty with flashing lights and loud sounds. It’ll make poopy time so fun, you’ll say. Well, I am here to help you resist that urge.
Just no. Kids don’t need all those bells and whistles to do their business (promise!). It’s nothing an average-priced potty seat and good old-fashioned patience can’t handle.

Do try: A book to guide you on the potty training path.

A good friend of mine says that life is all about strategy. That’s why parents need The Complete Guide to Potty Training by Michelle D. Swaney.

Sure, while your child’s milestone (sans diaper) seems pretty straightforward, it can also get exasperating. Needless to say, difficulties will arise, and it’s times like these where you’ll want the step-by-step guidance of experts.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Potty-Training-Step/dp/1641520116″]The Complete Guide to Potty Training, $11.12 from Amazon[/link-button]

12. Don’t do: Toys that sing or light up.

Another tempting buy, and one totally not worth your money. While initially entertaining, the batteries wear off fast or the toy will stop working altogether. I can personally vouch for the tedium of having your child go into full tantrum mode because their once favorite teddy no longer lights up. Yeah…best to avoid this pitfall altogether.

Do try: Fostering their musical talents.

Encourage your child’s creativity by letting them come up with their own rhythms instead. Science has shown that a child’s brain is enhanced by learning to play a musical instrument. According to Melissa Locker at Time, “This helps them develop ‘neurophysiological distinction’ between certain sounds that can aid in literacy, which can translate into improved academic results for kids.”

This set of kids’ musical instruments not only lasts longer than a singing toy, but it also allows a child to create their own melodies. The complete set comes with various instruments for a wider range of sounds and is safe to use for younger kids as well.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Innocheer-Kids-Musical-Instruments-Tambourine/dp/B01L6ZMVYU”]Innocheer Kids Musical Instruments, $27.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

13. Don’t do: Brand-name apparel.

There’s honestly nothing more frustrating than spending a large chunk of a paycheck on a jazzy outfit your child will outgrow in a matter of months. Avoid overpaying for brand-name clothes and opt instead for buying from big box retailers and thrift stores, which offer similar value for a LOT less.

Do try: A durable backpack that lasts all year.

Aside from making sure your child’s sporting a backpack that’s stylish and functional, you’ll want to go for one that’s going to be easy on their back. Remember that a heavy bag can cause nerve damage to your kiddo’s arms and shoulders, so investing in a high-quality book bag should be a priority.

We recommend MIFULGOO’s Kids Waterproof Backpack for its smart design, roomy compartments, and added reflector (which combines safety with style).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Backpack-Elementary-Middle-Reflector/dp/B01GS63Q3M”]MIFULGOO Kids Waterproof Backpack, $24.52 from Amazon[/link-button]

14. Don’t do: Fancy laptops.

You might easily be tempted to overspend thousands of dollars on the latest high-tech laptop computer, but keep in mind: Does your kid really need it? With the ever-changing tech landscape, it makes no sense to spend an exorbitant amount of funds on a laptop that will quickly become outdated.

Do try: Getting a cost-effective alternative.

If your child would mainly use a pricey MacBook Air for surfing the web and watching Netflix, you’re better off opting for a Google-powered Acer Chromebook, which offers the same value for a fraction of the cost.

The convertible laptop boots up in seconds, has full HD touch, 4GB memory, and a 12-hour battery life. Put the rest of what you would have spent on a fancy laptop toward their college fund (trust me, they’ll thank you later).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Acer-Chromebook-Convertible-13-3-inch-CB5-312T-K5X4/dp/B01LXYG77O”]Acer Chromebook R 13 Convertible, $329.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

15. Don’t do: Extravagant birthdays.

Alright, alright—this one’s not exactly a “product,” but it does involve a lot of wasted money. Sure, we want our kids to have the most magical of days, but as Samantha Kemp-Jackson of HuffPost questioned, are expensive kiddie birthday parties more over-indulgent than they are necessary?
Some researchers have found that spoiling children at a young age can pose long-term effects such as poor social skills, irresponsibility, and lack of independence. Kemp-Jackson noted that this might be “to make up for our feelings of parental inadequacy and engagement by spending lots of money.”

Do try: Taking them on an adventure.

Your kids will only be little for so long, so don’t spend a fortune on birthday supplies that you’ll only use once when you can opt for more memorable experiences. Pack their bag (we recommend MiniMAX’s Children’s Trolley Luggage) and take them camping to watch falling stars.

Hit the road (or the sky) for an adventurous trip, or simply spend the day at the beach. After all, there’s nothing more extravagant than the gift of your undivided attention.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/MiniMAX-Childrens-Suitcase-Backpack-Favourite/dp/B01LWJP6SZ”]MiniMAX’s Children’s Trolley Luggage, $33.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

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