Author: Amber Petty

Hairstyle Mistakes That Age You

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date August 10, 2019

We’ve all met the nice lady with the hairstyle that hasn’t changed since 1985. Though perhaps it was cute for its time, it’s not exactly a youthful look.
Turns out dated hairstyles aren’t the only way to add a couple years to your appearance. Whether you’re trying to cover emerging grays, experimenting with home coloring, or testing out a trendy style, read on to see if it’s keeping you young or adding a decade to your look.

To figure out the most flattering hair tips for any age, we spoke to Glennis McCarthy, a regular jill-of-all-trades. Seriously, she’s a comedian, voice over artist, licensed manicurist, hairstylist, and is now pursuing an advanced degree on all things hair. Also, she’s really cool and nice. Just an additional fun fact.
McCarthy spills all the beans about how to keep your look as young as possible while still being daring with your hair.

Using the Wrong Color for Gray Hair

Grays can happen at almost any age. And if you want them covered, McCarthy recommends choosing a hair color carefully. For a home coloring session, make sure your product of choice says it’s “formulated for grays.” If it’s not meant for grays, you won’t get the color saturation you’re looking for, according to McCarthy.

Why does [linkbuilder id=”3983″ text=”gray hair”] need special hair color? Well, the hair is typically more coarse than the rest of your hair. Plus it’s much lighter, so the product needs to be extra strong to penetrate the grays and give you the coverage you want, according to Real Simple. The magazine even recommends using two types of hair color—your regular color and one that’s a shade darker. This ensures that the stubborn grays suck up all the color and give you the natural look you’re after.

If you have a lot of grays, you may want to go to a pro for the best results. In a salon, your hair will be pre-treated with a peroxide solution. This softens up the hair and makes it more susceptible to the coloring product, according to Real Simple. Then the stylist can use a customized concoction to give you the perfect color.

Not Matching Your Hair Color to Your Skin Tone

Sure, that red looks lovely on Hendricks, but if you have a different skin tone, it might be a poor fit. Having a hair color that doesn’t match your skin tone can be unflattering and actually make you look a little older.
McCarthy says you can figure out your skin tone by looking at the veins in your hands. “If they’re a blueish tint, [your skin tone is] cool. If it’s a greenish tint, that’s warm,” she says. Then, pick a hair color that compliments your tone.

“For warm, try strawberry blonde, red, brown, or black. For cool, try ash blonde, brown, or black with blue or violet undertones.” You can have any hair color you like, just make sure it works with the warmth or coolness of your complexion.

Not Knowing Your Hair Type

If you’re thinking about coloring your hair at home, you need to get familiar with your natural tresses. That means you should learn a little about hair levels and tones before you pull out the coloring kit.
The “level” of your hair refers to how light or dark it is. Level one is pitch black, and level 10 is platinum blonde. The “tone” of your hair refers to the amount of underlying pigment in the hair. Tones have letters (or numbers) assigned to them that vary by company. Tones usually range from a very cool ash-violet to a very warm gold-beige.
It’s important to remember that people can have the the same level with vastly different tones. It’s good to know your natural level and tone so you can figure out the best way to get your ideal color.

“If you think you’re a level one when really you’re a level four, the color is going to come out wrong,” McCarthy says. Also, if you’re a level one and you want to go to level 10, McCarthy recommends leaving that to the professionals.
“I don’t recommend bleaching your hair at home,” she says. Home bleach often leads to weird colors, drying, and sometimes chunks of your hair falling out.

Know your natural level so you’ll have a more realistic idea of a hair color you can achieve. And when your hair color looks good, you look younger.

Keeping the Wrong Part

InStyle recommended keeping a side or off-center part for the most flattering look. They find a center part to be harsh, and though celebs like Kim Kardashian can pull it off, it might not look so good on someone who didn’t spend hours perfectly contouring their face. Any style that feels overly strict or harsh tends to be aging.
Now, if you love your center part, you probably have a great face for it. But, if you haven’t experimented with a new part for a while, it might be time to switch it up.

Being Scared of Bangs

If you’re worried about lines on your forehead, the easiest way to instantly erase a few years is to get bangs! Bangs always look youthful, and, though they can be a little annoying to maintain, they’ll hide lots of wrinkles.

Now, feel free to leave your forehead lines out for the world to see (we all have them!), but if you’re insecure about your brow lines, bangs are a super easy solution. There are lots of bang options out there, so for the most flattering look, pick bangs that best fit the shape of your face.

InStyle recommends thick, gently arched bangs for round faces and side swept bangs for a heart-shaped face. If you’ve got an oval face, the magazine said to get whatever bangs you want—all styles work for the oval shape.

Keeping a Hair Style That Hasn’t Changed

Remember the lady with the 1985 hairstyle? Well, nothing ages you more than keeping your hairstyle the same for years on end. It automatically makes you look like you’ve lived through a bygone decade, and people will start doing the math on your actual age.

Now, if you’re into any kind of retro look and you want that Farrah Fawcett style, go for it! But if your hair hasn’t changed in the time that four Presidents have come and gone, then it’s time to try something new.

A new look doesn’t have to be drastic. Even just a trim, parting your hair differently, or wearing it curly instead of straight will freshen up your overall appearance. Plus, it’s exciting to try something new. And remember, if you don’t like the change, you can return to your classic style whenever you want.

Trying to Look Too Young

Desperately trying to look super young is a surefire way to look older. That doesn’t mean you can’t try youthful looks, but you don’t need to go overboard. Basically, if you’re over 30, don’t feel obligated to make yourself look like an 18-year-old Instagram star.

Remember butterfly hair clips? For those of you that don’t remember that trend, butterfly clips were popular with middle school and high school students for about six months in the late ‘90s. Anyway, I vividly remember watching a soap opera during that time and seeing an over 40-year-old woman wearing a full head of butterfly clips. The woman was gorgeous, but by trying to look 15, she looked like a desperate 50.

If hair wraps and butterfly clips weren’t the coolest thing for you growing up then you did it all wrong

— KELLY PALENCHAR (@kpalll_) January 4, 2018

McCarthy insists that this doesn’t mean you have to go with “mom appropriate” hairstyles as soon as you’re over 25. Just make sure that you choose a hairstyle because you love it, not because you think it’s “what the kids are into these days.”

Lacking Confidence

This is really the biggest mistake of all, because you can do whatever you want with your hair as long as you have the courage to rock it out. “Confidence and joy go a long way in making you appear more youthful than any hair color or style ever will,” says McCarthy.

So if you’re 80 and you want hot pink hair—do it! I definitely don’t want anyone to think that there are rules once you become a “woman of a certain age.” If you want to break all the rules laid out in this article—go right ahead! Confidence makes any hairstyle look amazing.
And just like we’ve all met the lady who’s hair hasn’t changed since ‘85, we’ve also met the grandma rocking a platinum bob who looks better than anyone 40 years younger. So there really aren’t any rules. Just have fun with your hair, and you’ll look beautiful.

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Tags 1/10/18, 50037236, care, Commerce, hemingway, Publishupdate

Lifestyle

Hairstyle Mistakes That Age You (And Products That Can Keep You Looking Younger)

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date August 27, 2018

We’ve all met the nice lady with the hairstyle that hasn’t changed since 1985. Though perhaps it was cute for its time, it’s not exactly a youthful look.

Turns out that dated hairstyles aren’t the only way to add a couple of years to your appearance. Whether you’re trying to cover emerging grays, experimenting with at-home coloring, or testing out a trendy style, read on to see if what you’re doing is keeping you young or adding a decade to your look.
To find out the most flattering hair tips for any age, we spoke to Glennis McCarthy, a regular jill-of-all-trades. Seriously, she’s a comedian, voice-over artist, licensed manicurist, and hairstylist, and she is now pursuing an advanced degree in all things hair. Also, she’s really cool and nice. Just an additional fun fact.
McCarthy spills all the beans about how to keep your look as young as possible while still being daring with your hair.

Using the Wrong Color for Gray Hair

Grays can happen at almost any age. And if you want to cover them, McCarthy recommends choosing a hair color carefully. For a home coloring session, make sure your product of choice says it’s “formulated for grays.” If it’s not meant for grays, you won’t get the color saturation you’re looking for, says McCarthy.

Why does gray hair need special hair color? Well, the hair is typically more coarse than the rest of your hair. Plus it’s much lighter, so the product needs to be extra strong to penetrate the grays and give you the coverage you want, according to Real Simple.
The magazine even recommends using two types of hair color—your regular color and one that’s a shade darker. This ensures that the stubborn grays suck up all the color and give you the natural look you’re after.
L’Oréal Paris Excellence Creme Hair Color promises 100 percent gray coverage, has received solid reviews, and comes at a sweet low price of just eight bucks.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/LOr%C3%A9al-Paris-Excellence-Cr%C3%A9me-Permanent/dp/B004INIW1Y”]L’Oréal Paris Excellence Creme Hair Color, $7.99 from Amazon[/link-button]
If you’re looking for more of the luxe at-home experience and are open to spending some extra cash to achieve it, you might go for John Frieda’s Precision Foam Colour, which also offers total gray coverage, and its non-drip foam formula saturates the hair for an easy and thorough color soak.
This one received a five-star rating from 78 percent of its reviewers, as opposed to the L’Oréal Paris formula, which received five stars from 72 percent of its reviewers.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/John-Frieda-Precision-Colour-Blonde/dp/B0073SBKLK”]John Frieda Precision Foam Colour, $26.98 from Amazon[/link-button]
If you have a lot of grays, you may want to go to a pro for the best results. In a salon, your hair will be pre-treated with a peroxide solution. This softens up the hair and makes it more receptive to the coloring product, according to Real Simple. Then the stylist can use a customized concoction to give you the perfect color.

Not Matching Your Hair Color to Your Skin Tone

Maybe you saw a picture of Christina Hendricks in a magazine and thought, “That’s the exact red I’ve always wanted!” But before you run out to get copper locks, make sure your ideal hair color matches your skin tone.
Sure, that red looks lovely on Hendricks, but if you have a different skin tone, it might be a poor fit. Having a hair color that doesn’t match your skin tone can be unflattering and actually make you look a little older.

McCarthy says you can figure out your skin tone by looking at the veins in your hands. “If they’re a bluish tint, [your skin tone is] cool. If it’s a greenish tint, that’s warm,” she says. Then pick a hair color that complements your tone.
“For warm, try strawberry blonde, red, brown, or black. For cool, try ash blonde, brown, or black with blue or violet undertones.” You can have any hair color you like, just make sure it works with the warmth or coolness of your complexion.

Not Knowing Your Hair Type

If you’re thinking about coloring your hair at home, you need to get familiar with your natural tresses. That means you should learn a little about hair levels and tones before you pull out the coloring kit.
Check out the video below for a quick overview.

As explained above, knowing your natural level and tone will give you a more realistic idea of the hair colors you can achieve. And when your hair color looks good, you look younger.
If you’re interested in getting a closer look at the technical side of levels and tones, check out The Hair Colour Book, a guide to the theory of hair coloring by famed hairstylist Peter Regan. Written for hairdressers in training, the book covers these topics, along with the color wheel, racial differences in hair, controlling warmth, and gray coverage.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Hair-Colour-Book-Practical-Colouring/dp/1720845697″]The Hair Colour Book, $19.99 from Amazon [/link-button]
Speaking of hair type, if you’re a curly girl, there’s a lot more to learn, down to a number and a letter (literally, there’s a curl spectrum).

Curly Girl: The Handbook was created by Lorraine Massey, a curl expert featured in Allure, InStyle, Lucky, Seventeen, and The New York Times.
It will help you determine your curl type and the right daily routine to keep them at their bouncy best.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Curly-Girl-Handbook-Michele-Bender/dp/076115678X”]Curly Girl: The Handbook, $11.17 from Amazon [/link-button]

Keeping the Wrong Part

When’s the last time you parted your hair differently? It’s probably been a while. And though the part in your hair is one of the easiest hairstyle changes to make, it’s the one we make the least often.
InStyle recommended keeping a side or off-center part for the most flattering look. They find a center part to be harsh, and though celebs like Kim Kardashian can pull it off, it might not look so good on someone who didn’t spend hours perfectly contouring their face.

Any style that feels overly strict or harsh tends to be aging.
If you love your center part, you probably have a great face for it. But if you haven’t experimented with a new part for a while, it might be time to switch it up.

Being Scared of Bangs

If you’re worried about lines on your forehead, the easiest way to instantly erase a few years is to get bangs! Bangs always look youthful, and although they can be a little annoying to maintain, they’ll hide lots of wrinkles.

Feel free to leave your forehead lines out for the world to see (we all have them!), but if you’re insecure about your brow lines, bangs are a super easy solution. There are lots of bang options out there, so for the most flattering look, pick bangs that best fit the shape of your face.
InStyle recommends thick, gently arched bangs for round faces and side-swept bangs for a heart-shaped face.

If you’ve got an oval face, the magazine said to get whatever bangs you want—all styles work for the oval shape.
Feeling bold? Into the DIY haircut? Make sure you get the right tools, like this full hairdressing set. Your bangs won’t know what cut them—but you will! One-hundred percent 440C Japanese stainless steel.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01F78GP1C”]Barber Hairdresser Scissors and Thinning Shears, $24.99 from Amazon [/link-button]

Keeping a Hairstyle That Hasn’t Changed

Now, if you’re into any kind of retro look and you want that Farrah Fawcett style, go for it! But if your hair hasn’t changed in the time that four presidents have come and gone, then it’s time to try something new.
A new look doesn’t have to be drastic. Even just a trim, parting your hair differently, or wearing it curly instead of straight will freshen up your overall appearance. Plus, it’s exciting to try something new. And remember, if you don’t like the change, you can return to your classic style whenever you want.
Speaking of classic styles, don’t let us talk you out of mixing it up, so long as you can pull it off (and, of course, you can!). Want to try out a vintage look? Go ahead and bring it back, but put your own spin on it.
Something like this 1940s Hairstyles book, complete with hundreds of vintage illustrations, photographs, and diagrams with instructions on how to replicate the styles, should offer you plenty to work with.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/1930064004″]1940s Hairstyles, $20.07 from Amazon[/link-button]

Trying to Look Too Young

If hair wraps and butterfly clips weren’t the coolest thing for you growing up then you did it all wrong

— KELLY PALENCHAR (@kpalll_) January 4, 2018

For those of you who don’t remember that trend, butterfly clips were popular with middle school and high school students for about six months in the late 1990s. I vividly remember watching a soap opera during that time and seeing an over 40-year-old woman wearing a full head of butterfly clips. The woman was gorgeous, but by trying to look 15, she looked like a desperate 50.
McCarthy insists that this doesn’t mean you have to go with “mom appropriate” hairstyles as soon as you turn 25. Just make sure that you choose a hairstyle because you love it, not because you think it’s what the kids are into these days.

That said, some women who are bold and rocking it give a big hair flip to the notion that age should dictate anything about their fashion choices, as the photographer Ari Seth Cohen illustrates beautifully in the Advanced Style blog, a project dedicated “to capturing the sartorial savvy of the senior set.”
For some truly inspiring content, check out the photographs in Cohen’s books, Advanced Style (2012) and Advanced Style: Older & Wiser (2016).

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/157687592X”]Advanced Style, $19.86 from Amazon[/link-button]
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1576877973″]Advanced Style: Older & Wiser, $22.42 from Amazon[/link-button]
If you haven’t seen it yet, the documentary based on the blog is also a treat.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Advanced-Style-Ari-Seth-Cohen/dp/B00OC0I06K”]Advanced Style, $4.99 to rent or $9.99 to buy from Amazon [/link-button]

Lacking Confidence

This is really the biggest mistake of all, because you can do whatever you want with your hair so long as you have the courage to rock it out, as the darlings of Advanced Style have shown us.
“Confidence and joy go a long way in making you appear more youthful than any hair color or style ever will,” says McCarthy.

So if you’re 80 and you want hot pink hair—do it! We definitely don’t want anyone to think that there are rules once you become a “woman of a certain age.” If you want to break all the rules laid out in this article—go right ahead! Confidence makes any hairstyle look amazing.
Unfortunately, confidence isn’t exactly a switch that you can turn on and off. It also can’t be entirely dependent on external factors, like whether the people around you admire you. (Many people will not approve of you throughout your life, for whatever reason.)
True confidence has to come from within, and it must be cultivated.

Nathaniel Branden, PhD, a psychotherapist and writer who made the study of self-esteem his life’s work, put it like this:
“Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects: It entails a sense of personal efficacy and a sense of personal worth. It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect. It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living.”
According to psychiatrist, philosopher, and writer Neel Burton, MD, low self-esteem is linked to mental disorder and distress and may have its origins in trauma (often stretching back to childhood), poor health, and the general sense of not being in control.
There are a number of things you can do to nurture a strong sense of self that will empower you with a sense of competence and help you work through issues that may be blocking your ability to feel worthy.
Glenn R. Schiraldi, PhD, has written some workbooks that might be helpful, depending on what you’re dealing with. His books have been translated into 16 languages, and he has trained clinicians worldwide on various aspects of resilience and trauma.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Simple-Solutions-Building-Self-Esteem-Self-Doubt/dp/157224495X”]10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem, $15.83 from Amazon[/link-button]
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Workbook-Glenn-Schiraldi-PhD/dp/1626255938″]The Self-Esteem Workbook, $17.08 from Amazon [/link-button]
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Resilience-Workbook-Essential-Adversity-Harbinger/dp/1626259402″]The Resilience Workbook, $18.53 from Amazon[/link-button]
In the end, there is only one hairstyling rule that matters: Enjoy yourself. Just as we’ve all met the lady whose hair hasn’t changed since ’85, we’ve also met the grandma rocking a platinum bob who looks better than anyone 40 years younger. Have fun! You’ll look beautiful.

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Tags Commerce, social, Update

Motherhood

Spicy Food Doesn't Induce Labor (And Other Pregnancy Myths Busted)

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date January 26, 2018

Throughout their terms, pregnant women get overwhelmed with information. They hear advice from their doctors, of course, but also family members, friends—even people on the street will stop a pregnant woman to give them their two cents. It’s the most natural thing in the world, they say. You’re eating for two, they exclaim. So, how can mothers-to-be separate fact from fiction?
It isn’t easy. Pregnancy does have plenty of strange side effects. Did you know, for instance, that being pregnant can cause your gums to bleed? It can. Pregnancy hormones cause increased blood flow, which in turn increases your susceptibility to gingivitis. The American Pregnancy Association recommends diligent oral care during women’s terms.

And have you heard that pregnancy actually does make your feet grow? A study in the American Journal of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation showed that pregnancy tends to flatten the arches of your feet, making them wider and longer, according to Medical News Today‘s review of the study. Sadly, this doesn’t go away once the baby is born: The arch is often permanently flattened. Pregnant women should wear low-heeled, soft shoes with proper arch supports to combat these changes, wrote John M. Sigle, a doctor of podiatric medicine, for Herald & Review.
So when pregnancy has so many strange and true side effects, it’s easy to see why a pregnancy rookie would accept anything their mother, or a random passerby, tells them. But there is plenty of misinformation out there. You’ll hear it from well-meaning, misinformed peers; you’ll see it in advertisements and on movie screens.
If you’re expecting, or if you’re just curious about the life of a mother-to-be, here are some pregnancy myths to pay no mind.

Myth: Spicy food—or any food—induces labor.

Though an overdue woman would love to pop a jalapeño and go into labor, it just doesn’t work that way. Eliza Ross, MD, OB-GYN, of the Cleveland Clinic said that there’s no evidence that spicy food causes labor. “It might give you heartburn,” she wrote, “but it won’t bring baby into the world any sooner.”
Still, some restaurants have gotten famous based on their supposedly labor-inducing foods—even if they aren’t spicy. In a 2007 article, fact-checking site Snopes provided six examples of eateries that, willingly or not, earned reputations for pushing babies along. Some served hot wings, others served Italian food.

Eviction notice has been given. Eggplant Parmesan from Scalini’s has been consumed. Let the countdown begin! #48hours #pastdue #eggplantparmesan

A post shared by Shannon Curasi (@scmgee) on Jan 21, 2018 at 5:10pm PST

In 2017, Scalini’s, an Atlanta-based Italian restaurant mentioned in the Snopes piece, claimed that their eggplant parmesan has “helped more than 1,000 women go into labor,” according to Today. Women who go into labor 48 hours after leaving the establishment get a Scalini’s gift card and a space on the wall for their baby’s photo.
But since Scalini’s, and restaurants like it, attract overdue women, the correlation is likely due to coincidence, not causation. “If you were to chart the results of a group of [overdue] women,” reads the Snopes piece, “you’d find that a great many of them would give birth to their children within a day or so no matter what they ate or did, with almost all of the rest delivering no more than two or three days after that.”
That said, it seems Robert Bogino, the owner of Scalini’s, understands that it’s all in fun. “Of course,” he told Today, “you have to believe a little bit, too.”

Myth: It’s the most natural thing in the world.

In regards to pregnancy and breastfeeding, mothers will often hear a familiar refrain: “It’s the most natural thing in the world.”
It makes sense, too. Biologically, pregnancy—during and after—is about as natural as it gets. But it turns out that the experience is anything but.
Maryann Davidson, a mother of three, says that though pregnancy may technically be a “natural” process, it feels entirely foreign for the mother-to-be.

“I certainly wasn’t accustomed to feeling nauseous at all times of the day and night; having my moods swing wildly without warning; putting on weight which wasn’t caused by excessive overeating; having a wriggling, jumping, growing baby inside me which was part of me yet already completely independent.”
Then there’s birth itself. Many women get epidurals, are hooked up to IVs, or need to have emergency cesarean sections. There’s nothing wrong with any of that—in fact, the global maternal mortality rate has declined significantly in modern times—but it’s not what most people would call “natural.”

Even if a mom chooses to have a natural birth (a birth without any medication or surgery), the feeling will still be completely foreign. Sure, she can read about how it will feel or ask other mothers to share their experience, but nothing can prepare her for the moment itself.
Though the process of pregnancy is completely natural, it’s one of the most unnatural, crazy experiences an individual will ever go through.

Myth: Morning sickness stops after the first trimester.

Morning sickness is very common. Most women experience it as some point early in their pregnancies, but they’re often told that it stops after the first trimester.
“Is it? Is it?” asks Davidson. “Well, my body must not have read that particular instruction, as I continued to suffer from this particular affliction well into the second trimester.”

She’s not alone. Though most women see their morning sickness symptoms subside after 12 weeks, the American Pregnancy Association says that up to 20 percent of women experience it throughout their pregnancy—this severe form of the illness is called hyperemesis gravidarum, which can require hospitalization.
To combat average, first-trimester morning sickness, pregnant women can eat frequent, small meals and sip on fluids throughout the day, according to the American Pregnancy Association. Even hyperemesis gravidarum is treatable—the Hyperemesis Education and Research Foundation lists medication and nutritional treatment as effective options—and usually doesn’t cause much of a risk to the baby. But it’s surely unpleasant for the mom.

Myth: You can’t eat seafood.

Most women think that all seafood is completely off limits during their pregnancy, but according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, you can enjoy specific sea treats even when you’re with child.
The warning does have some truth to it. The FDA urges women to avoid fish with high mercury contents—bigeye tuna, shark, marlin, and king mackerel, for instance. They recommend against sushi, too, because of uncooked fish’s higher chance of carrying parasites.

But other fish? Eat up! Salmon, shrimp, tilapia, and cod are among the 30-plus fish that the FDA recommends pregnant women eat two to three servings of weekly. There are nearly 20 fish they recommend pregnant women have one serving of weekly.

Myth: You’re eating for two!

Want an extra slice of pizza or four? Well, eat up, say purveyors of this myth, because you’ve got to get in all those extra calories to help the baby grow.
Sadly, this isn’t entirely true. OB-GYN nurse practitioner Emily Silver recommends that women only need around 300 extra calories a day to support their pregnancy. “To put it in perspective, that’s about equivalent to a bowl of cereal,” says Silver. (According to MyFitnessPal, a bowl of Cheerios with whole milk is 203 calories, so let’s say you have a second helping.)

She’s not far off from The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics‘ recommendation, which says women in their second trimester should eat 340 extra calories, and women in their third trimester should eat about 450 extra calories. More, sure, but not double.
Though it’s totally okay to want to pig out when you’re pregnant (pregnancy cravings are not a myth), you don’t actually need another human’s worth to keep your baby safe. What’s most important is what you eat: Pregnant women should eat fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and healthy protein, and drink low-fat, calcium and vitamin D rich liquids, recommends the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. So if you think that pint of ice cream will help the baby, you might want to think again.

Myth: You’ll know when you’re going into labor.

Shauna Armitage has three kids and a special hatred for this myth. Over and over again, she heard people tell new moms to “listen to your body” or “you’ll know what to do” when it came to labor…but Armitage found the opposite to be true.
Armitage says that everything hurts, especially late in pregnancy, and it’s hard to discern your pain’s meaning. Is that pain the beginning of labor, or is it just some random pain from having a growing baby inside of you? You almost never know.

Labor comes in two stages: early and active. According to health care organization Kaiser Permanente, you shouldn’t go to the hospital until you’re in active labor.
Early labor has inconsistent contractions, and they’re typically less painful. Also, early labor can last for days! So if you go to the hospital too early, you could be asked to go home and wait it out.
Active labor doesn’t start until your contractions are three to four minutes apart and last for about a minute a piece. That’s when they go from moderately painful to insanely painful.

Still, as a pregnancy rookie, it can be hard to judge how painful your contractions are. Often, moms confuse their ordinary “a child is growing in my belly” pain for contraction pain, which makes labor even more confounding.
In the end, it’s all confusing, and Armitage insists that you almost never “just know” when it’s time to have the baby.

Of course, if you’re experiencing extreme pain—and if it’s extreme to you, it is extreme—contact your doctor. Even if it turns out to be nothing, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Myth: Birth involves lots of screaming.

If you’ve seen any movie with a birth scene, you’ve probably heard the mom-to-be comically screaming as she pushes the baby out. Think Knocked Up or The Back-up Plan. But according to birth doula Darby Morris, screaming is actually discouraged during the birth itself.

This isn’t because doctors don’t want damaged ear drums or that ladies are too shy to scream—yelling just makes it harder to push.
Morris compares the feeling of pushing during labor to pushing when you’re constipated. Imagine trying to push and scream at the same time in the bathroom—it’s almost impossible. Morris says that women are usually quiet: One, so they can focus on pushing, and two, because they’re exhausted from the lengthy process of labor.

Tags 50037501, hemingway, parenting, social

Conscious Beauty Lifestyle

According To Dermatologists, These Are The Best Face Washes For Every Skin Type

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date December 31, 2017

We live in a wonderful time for skincare. In the ‘50s, American women relied on mere bar soap and cold cream to keep their faces clean. Today, there’s a never-ending list of facial cleansers to choose from. From gels, creams, and cleansers to powders, clays, and bars, the products available to us include dramatically different ingredients, and all their manufacturers make pretty big claims. So of these many options, which is the best face wash?
To navigate this maze of facial products, we turned to the experts to get the DL on the best face wash for every skin type.
So, if you’ve been dying to know which ingredients help dry skin, we’ve got the answer. If you’re worried about an oily complexion or acne breakouts, we’ve got doctor-approved products to help you out. Even if you just want the simplest method to clean your face, we’ve got all-natural products to suit your skin.
Find out the dermatologists’ top suggestions for every skin type, and soon you’ll be out of the skincare maze enjoying the best face wash ever.

Best Face Wash for Dry Skin

CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser

Multiple dermatologists recommend CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser for dry skin. Margarita Lolis, MD, says, “The ingredients are simple and all serve to attract water and keep it within the skin.”
She adds that people with dry skin should look carefully at the ingredients in their cleanser. You want to add moisture, so look for things like glycerin, cholesterol, and petrolatum. Glycerin is a fat-based ingredient that softens skin, while cholesterol and petrolatum help the skin absorb moisture. If your face is irritated, find a cream with potassium phosphate, a soothing agent.
CeraVe has all these ingredients plus a healthy dose of purified water for extra moisture, so it does an excellent job of cleaning the skin without drying it out. Though the brand may not be fancy, it’s fairly easy to find, often costs less than $10, and keeps your skin beautifully hydrated.

Best All-Natural Face Wash For Dry Skin

Beauty Aura 100% Pure Grapeseed Oil

Not everyone wants to use synthetic ingredients like potassium phosphate on their skin. While those chemical-sounding compounds aren’t harmful, we totally understand if you’d rather take a simpler, more natural approach.
It turns out that there’s an incredibly good face wash for dry skin that you might have in your kitchen. Lolis recommends 100 percent grapeseed oil. If washing your face with oil sounds counterproductive, it’s actually a great way to keep your skin moisturized. “Grapeseed oil is fantastic,” says Lolis. “It’s a lighter oil that is absorbed into the skin and won’t clog pores.”
You won’t need to worry about sudden breakouts after using the oil. It’s light enough to carry the dirt away and wash away clean. When using oil to clean your face, start with a small amount. A little goes a long way!
When choosing a grapeseed oil, make sure you get one that’s completely pure. Oils of all types often get mixed with cheaper oils to bring the price down. For example, Forbes reported that 80 percent of olive oil isn’t really the high-quality, extra virgin oil it claims to be! To avoid slathering mystery oil on your skin, invest in a product like Beauty Aura’s 100% Grapeseed Oil. It’s completely pure, cold pressed, and made in the U.S.

Best Face Wash For Oily Skin

SkinCeuticals LHA Cleansing Gel

For oily skin, Jennifer T. Haley, MD, FAAD, recommends finding a wash that contains salicylic acid. The acid helps clear up oily skin and reduce inflammation around breakouts. Her top choice is SkinCeuticals LHA Cleansing Gel. It doesn’t have any irritating fragrances and contains salicylic and glycolic acid to clean your pores and gently clear away excess oil.
Reviewers rave that the gel prevents breakouts and keeps their skin incredibly clear. The only downside is the cleanser is a bit of a financial investment. But if you have very oily skin that’s prone to breakouts and room to splurge, the SkinCeuticals gel is well worth it.

Best Affordable Face Wash For Oily Skin

Herbivore Bamboo Charcoal Cleansing Bar Soap

If you don’t have $50 around for face wash, we totally get it. Instead, you could try this affordable, natural alternative. Rhonda Klein, MD, MPH, suggests Herbivore Bamboo Charcoal Cleansing Bar Soap for oily skin.
The bar is made from all-natural ingredients like activated bamboo charcoal, tea tree oil, and bergamot essential oil. The bamboo charcoal lifts away dirt and sucks up excess oils on the skin. Tea tree oil is naturally antimicrobial, so it fights infections that can cause acne and other blemishes. After everything is clean, the bergamot oil comes in to balance the amount of oils on the skin, leaving your face perfectly moisturized.
The best part is that one bar costs less than $15. And this isn’t like regular soap—the bamboo charcoal bar will last you quite a long time and definitely give you your money’s worth.

Best Face Wash For Aging Skin

PCA Skin Facial Wash and Glytone Mild Cream Cleanser

All the dermatologists we consulted agreed that the best face wash for aging skin has to include either lactic or glycolic acid.
“This will help remove ‘dead layers’ of adherent skin cells to allow for improved penetration of moisturizer,” says Haley. She prefers the PCA Skin Facial Wash because the lactic acid gently removes dirt and dead skin but allows your skin to maintain its pH balance.
Alan J. Parks, MD, prefers the Glytone Mild Cream Cleanser. “This cleanser utilizes glycolic acid for exfoliation and helps even out the skin tone and reduce the signs of aging. This particular face wash is creamy, so it’s great for dry skin.”
Though glycolic acid is good for oily and dry skin, it’s a little more harsh than lactic acid. It’s still perfectly safe to use, but if you’re concerned about aging and have sensitive skin, you may want to go with a lactic acid variety.

Easiest Face Wash

Simple Micellar Cleansing Water

Some people love to have a whole routine when it comes to cleansing their face at night. Others just want to wash off the dirt and get to bed as quickly as possible. If you want the fastest, easiest face wash, you have to go with micellar water.
Maral K. Skelsey, MD, loves micellar water for its cleansing and hydrating qualities. Plus, it works so fast! You just pour some onto a cotton ball, rub it all over your face, and that’s it. You don’t even have to rinse. It’s tough enough to take off dirt, grease, and eye makeup.
So, what are these “micelles” that make the water so magical? Skelsey says, “Micelles are clusters of molecules whose center is attracted to oil while the outside attracts water. When you put micellar water on a cotton pad, the water-loving side of the micelles are drawn to the cotton. The oil and dirt on the skin is lifted off by the other end of the micelle.”
Basically, it’s water that can selectively remove dirt. Regular water can’t make that happen.
Now, soap does remove dirt in a way similar to micelles, but it also leaves a drying residue that can be terrible for your skin. Micellar water leaves no residue. In fact, you can let it sit and absorb into your skin for an extra moisturizing effect.

Best Face Wash For Acne

Replenix Acne Solutions Wash

For recurring acne, Klein suggests using a wash with benzoyl peroxide. She prefers Replenix Acne Solutions Wash since it contains a hefty 10 percent dose of benzoyl peroxide. The Replenix reviews on Amazon are incredible with over 1,200 satisfied face-washers singing its praises.
It works because benzoyl peroxide kills the bacteria that causes acne. Now, you may need to use this wash for a few weeks to see results, but once the acne is gone, it stays away! Some solutions with peroxide are drying, but the Replenix wash is specially formulated to keep your skin hydrated.

Best Natural Face Wash For Acne

Mother Dirt Cleanser

Now, benzoyl peroxide does sound pretty harsh, so we get it if you’d rather take a more natural approach to your acne issues. You might want to try this new approach to face wash—Mother Dirt. This cleanser is completely natural and full of plant-based ingredients all put together to keep your skin clean. But what makes it different is its approach to bacteria.
Though some bacteria can cause acne, your face is also home to good bacteria that keep your skin healthy and protected. Most washes kill off all the bacteria, leaving you without the good stuff. Mother Dirt is designed to get off all the dirt and oil, but leave your skin’s good bacteria unharmed.
The wash is hypoallergenic, gentle, and works well on sensitive skin. If you have acne and are tired of using potentially drying acids, Mother Dirt might be the face wash of your dreams.

Best Face Wash For Sensitive Skin

La-Roche Posay Toleriane Dermo-Cleanser

When you have really sensitive skin, a good face wash is nearly impossible to find. Everything is either too harsh and irritating or doesn’t leave your skin feeling clean! Thankfully, Klein recommends La-Roche Posay Toleriane Dermo-Cleanser. It’s a mouthful, but it works wonders!
Though the solution is incredibly gentle, it’s tough enough to remove dirt, oil, and even waterproof makeup. The glycerin in the wash gives it extra hydrating power and the thermal spring water feels soothing on the skin.
Anything I’ve ever tried by La-Roche Posay has been amazing, so between that brand and a dermatologist recommendation, this wash is a definite winner.

Best Travel Face Wash

Honest Beauty Refreshingly Clean Powder Cleanser

How many times have you gone on vacation and realized you didn’t bring a face wash? If you’re me, it’s every single time. Even if you do remember, it’s always a pain to pour your solution into those three-ounce travel bottles. Instead of going through that hassle, you can use Honest Beauty’s individually wrapped powder cleanser.
Klein identifies this powder cleanser as an “essential.” Made from aspen bark, this cleanser is great for cleaning away excess oil without drying the skin. Just open your packet of cleanser, pour it in your hand, and add a little water. Rub your hands together until you get a foamy lather, then wash your face like normal.
This face wash is not only great for a deep clean while you’re traveling, but it also feels a little like a magic trick. Just add water and ta da! The tiny packet turns into an amazing face wash.

Best Face Wash For Irritated Skin

A-Derma Oat Milk Soothing Foam Gel

Whether your skin is generally on the sensitive side or gets irritated during certain seasons, Sonam Yadav, MBBS, who runs New Dehli’s Juverne dermatology clinic, recommends A-Derma Oat Milk Soothing Foam Gel. “It has soothing oat extracts and also works fabulously for patients on isotretinoin and other drying acne medication[s].”
It contains Rhealba Oat Milk, which is used for its soothing and protective qualities. If you’re suffering from irritation, this wash will help you heal without causing extra aggravation. Plus, it’s paraben free and leaves your skin feeling soothed and soft.

Best Facial Cleansing Brush

Philips PureRadiance Cleansing System

Though Haley has her preferred face washes, she says “I always recommend using an ultrasonic, gentle cleansing brush with a cleanser for two full minutes to enhance exfoliation and improve penetration of active ingredients.” Haley insists that the brush is the real key to the best skin tone possible.
The Philips PureRadiance Cleansing System uses a brush that rotates and vibrates to get to your skin at every angle. The company claims that it’s ten times more effective than cleaning by hand, yet gentle enough that it doesn’t damage the skin. It even comes with a one minute timer (be sure to run it twice if you’re committed to following Haley’s advice) so you don’t shortchange your face wash.
If you have extremely sensitive skin, this may not be the best option, but for all other skin types, a cleansing brush is the best way to get some deep exfoliation without harming your skin. Pair it with one of the face washes above and your face will be cleaner and smoother than ever.
Of course, if you have your own favorite face wash, there’s no need to switch it up. But if you’re in the market for something new that actually works, follow the advice of the experts. These dermatologists’ entire lives are devoted to skincare, so if they recommend a product, you know it’s legit.

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Favorite Finds Motherhood

Don't Know What To Get Your Bestie For Her Baby Shower? We've Got You Covered

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date December 25, 2017

When you don’t have kids, baby showers can be a little tricky. When it’s your BFF who’s expecting, suddenly there’s even more pressure for you to get something perfect. The moment you RSVP yes, you might find yourself asking a number of panicky questions. Should you get a present for mom? For baby? What do babies need? And why is baby stuff so expensive?
You’ve got a laundry list of totally understandable concerns, but there’s no need to panic. We’ve got your back. Here’s the inside info that’ll have everyone in attendance convinced you’re a seasoned pro in the baby shower game.
First of all, you can make this really easy on yourself—check your friend’s registry. Most moms-to-be create a baby registry and she’ll be happy to get anything on the list.
But if she doesn’t have a registry or you’re not a “buy a gift off a list” type of gal, then here are the gifts that your BFF and baby are sure to love.

1. No-Slip Booties

Babies need shoes? Yes. Sooner than you think, the kid will be toddling all over the place and they’ll need non-slip shoes for their new walking adventures. To the disappointment of moms everywhere, run-of-the-mill baby shoes always fall off at incredibly inconvenient times. These no-slip booties, on the other hand, strap on tight (but comfortably) and have textured bottoms to keep kids from slipping on slick floors. Plus, they’re cute, which—let’s be honest—is probably the most important quality for all baby gifts.

2. WubbaNub Pacifier

Every mom I know has at least two of these. I don’t really get it, but they all swear they’re the best pacifiers around. Plus, it’s got an elephant on it. Who doesn’t like elephants?

3. Piyo Piyo Nail Scissors

This gift doesn’t seem super fun, but your friend will be so happy to have these around the first time baby manages to nick her with a sharp nail—especially during breastfeeding. You need to cut a baby’s nails fairly often and these scissors make it a much less stressful task. The blade edges are turned up, so mom won’t even come close to accidentally snipping the baby’s skin—a possibility that’s downright unpleasant to even think about, proving why these scissors are so important.

4. Banana Training Toothbrush

This also sounds weird. Who needs a training toothbrush? Well, every baby I know loves gnawing on this thing when they start teething. Teething is a tough process, so anything that makes the baby feel better will make mom very happy, too. Plus, it’s kind of cool to get babies into brushing their teeth before they have teeth in the first place.

5. Boppy Lounger

This is pretty much a baby bean bag, but way better. Honestly, I wish I had a big fluffy pillow like this that I could lounge on. The Boppy lets the baby lie down in a comfortable position so mom can give her arms a rest without worry. Plus, the cover is machine washable for the many times the baby will inevitably spit up on it.

6. Changing Station

You’ve probably never noticed how few bathrooms have changing stations, right? Well, moms are very aware of the lack of sanitary changing surfaces, especially when their baby is in the “constant pooping” stage. This travel changing station gives baby a clean soft surface for changing that parents can fold up and take with them.

7. Outlet Covers

This isn’t the most exciting gift, but it’s so necessary! Babies love outlets. For some reason, it seems like babies are born knowing two things: Boobs are for food and Outlets are super fun to play with. Any time I babysit, the tot whose care I’m charged with can’t wait to try to plug their finger into an electrical socket.
These covers will keep baby safe and save mom from constantly dragging her kid away from the outlets. Plus, you get 24 covers to make sure that every outlet is protected.

8. Funny Onesie

As the child-free friend, it’s practically your job to make sure that baby has some comical clothes. Get a funny onesie, like this “Mind on my mommy and my mommy on my mind” piece. That said, kindly avoid baby clothes with swear words or super adult topics. Sure, it’s funny, but the mom may not want pictures of her child wearing something with the F bomb on it.
If you’re really feeling out there, you can go for high cuteness and low practicality and get something like this owl costume. Hey, there’s no reason why the kid can’t dress like an owl everyday. And they’d look so cute!

9. Books

It’s never too early to start reading to a baby. And if mom has something cute to read, like this Toot book, it doesn’t get boring. Because even though she’ll love time with her baby, even Goodnight Moon gets old after the 30th read. Also, how about a book like I Heart My Little A-Holes to give mom a reason to laugh when baby’s simply refusing to sleep?

10. Postpartum Herb Bath

At the baby shower, mom deserves some of her own gifts, too. This bath will help her relax and heal after giving birth. She’ll definitely appreciate some alone time in the tub after hours of dealing with a crying baby.

11. Shea Butter Hand Creams

Moms have to wash their hands constantly because they’re often covered in poop and spit up. She’ll appreciate having some nice smelling lotions to keep her hands smooth and provide a scent other than diaper cream and baby powder.

12. Sleep

The best gift you can give a mom is sleep. People swear by this sleep suit to get babies to stay asleep through the night, even as young as 2 months. Then, get the mom this full body pillow. The huge pillow is super supportive for pregnant woman and its cuddly softness feels great even after the baby comes.
With this list, you’ll be a superstar at any baby shower. Your BFF will be happy and baby will get presents that will enhance their natural cuteness—all thanks to a little planning and a lot of BFF love.

Tags Commerce, organic

Conscious Beauty Lifestyle

Essential Products For The DIY Spa Day Of Your Dreams

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date December 16, 2017

Between work, the news, and social media stressors, you’re probably living in a constant state of low level anxiety. You’re not alone. So many of us spend all our time thinking about others or taking care of business that we never stop to take time for ourselves.
Instead of getting stressed about work or reading about the latest horrible thing that happened in the news, take a break. You can give yourself the spa day of your dreams without ever leaving your house or apartment. It’s a great way to relax and unwind on a budget.
You’re about to discover everything you need to turn your favorite room into a soothing haven. After your DIY spa day, you’ll have softer skin, rejuvenated hair, and that glow that comes from enjoying at least an hour with zero stress.

Set Up Your Space

Before you do any treatments, take a little time to set up your space and get into the relaxation frame of mind. Put your phone in the other room, play some soothing music, and take some slow deep breaths. All of these things send signals to your brain and body that the next hour or so will be all about you and all about relaxing.
Then, make your space as appealing as possible.

Candles

Candles = instant relaxation. They give your room a perfect glow and tell your brain it’s time to chill. Get a huge pack of tea lights that will last you through many spa days to come. To really set the mood, use this sea salt candle holder. Then, light an aromatic candle (like this one) to give your room that perfect spa scent.

Cucumber Water

When do you ever drink cucumber water? Only at the spa, right? Cut up some cucumbers and let them float in your cutest pitcher while you prepare the room for spa time. Add some lime or mint for an extra treat.

Get Your Spa On

Now that your mind and room are ready, it’s time to get your spa on. You can do any variety of treatments you like, but here are some ideas to get you started.

Face Mask

Try the Korean beauty Bubble Clay Mask for a totally unique at-home experience. It gets your pores super clean and has a fun, fizzy feeling. This mask is incredibly popular and how often do you get an excuse to play with bubbly clay?

Hair Mask

You don’t need anything fancy for a hair mask. In fact, you can use stuff that’s already in your kitchen.

For Normal to Dry Hair

Try an avocado mask. Just blend an avocado with coconut oil until you get a thick (maybe still a little lumpy) consistency. Apply it all over your hair and let it sit at least 20 minutes. Then rinse! Your hair will be hydrated and shiny and you can eat any of the ingredients that are left over.

For Oily Hair

Mash up a banana with a teaspoon of honey and apply from root to tip. Let sit for at least 20 minutes before rinsing. Your hair will enjoy the added nutrients and stay clean and oil free.

Perfect Nails

To take your nail treatment to the next level, start with a dab of cuticle oil. This milk and honey oil nourishes skin and repairs cracked cuticles. Give yourself a gentle massage as you apply the oil and let it sit on your fingertips for at least a minute. You’ll get super soft hands and healthier cuticles.
When it comes to painting your nails, if your manicure skills aren’t quite on point, use this liquid latex to keep your polish where it should be. Paint the latex wherever you don’t want the polish to go. Then polish your nail normally. Once everything is dry, peel off the latex and marvel at a job well done.

Super Smooth Feet

If you want smooth feet the second you step out of your home/spa, try this organic tea tree oil foot scrub. The light scrub exfoliates while the tea tree oil kills germs and bacteria naturally.
If you don’t mind waiting a couple days for results, spring for Baby Foot. Sure, your feet will look super gross for a day or two, but ALL the dead skin comes off! Seriously, if you have a strong stomach, check out the Baby Foot before, during, and after photos. You’ll have to deal with a lot of peeling, but it’s all in the name of having the softest feet ever.

Body Scrub

To save money and get crafty, make your own DIY scrub. Just combine sugar, an oil of your choice (like almond, coconut, or olive oil), and an essential oil for a pleasant scent. Lavender is great for a relaxing scrub or—if you want a more energizing scent—try an oil with ylang ylang.
If you don’t have time to make your own, try this Dead Sea salt scrub. It contains over 20 essential minerals to keep your skin in optimal condition. Plus, it’s much cheaper to get this scrub than it is to take a trip all the way to the Dead Sea.

Bath Bomb

Soak all the masks and scrubs away with a vegan bath bomb. Whether you want a little fizz in your tub or just a gorgeous scent, this set has you covered.
After all that pampering, you’ll be ready to face the stress of your day with a sense of calm. And when you need some dedicated me time again in a week or two, you’ll have all your DIY spa materials ready to go for another round of soothing treatments.

More Home Spa Products You’ll Love:

Lifestyle

Makeup Tips To Make You Look Younger

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date December 6, 2017

No matter your age, there’s always a day or two when you wish you could look a little younger. Sure, you’re already beautiful as you are, but for those early mornings after a night of no sleep, you might want to know a trick or two to turn the clock back a bit.
You may already have a few go-to tips when you want that youthful glow, but in case you’d like to add some new tools to your makeup bag, I talked to a few professional makeup artists for their expert advice.
Also, I had the unique experience of being a stage and TV actress for a while, and I learned quite a lot from the many makeup artists I worked with over the years. It turns out that the inside tips they use to make you look good on camera often work just as well in real life!
So, if you want the dewy glow of a teenager or just a little extra sparkle in your eyes, here are all the pro tips that’ll keep you looking young!

The Whites of Your Eyes

My favorite theater makeup tip was a way to make your eyes look brighter, which, in turn, takes a couple years off your look. After your eyeshadow application, put a bit of pure white on the corners of your eyes by the tear ducts.

This tip isn’t unique to theater. In fact, most of the professional makeup artists I spoke to gave the same advice. The bit of white draws attention to your eyes and actually makes them look a little bigger. Plus, the white brightens up potential discoloration around the eyes which makes you look more awake and energized.
On stage, you can add a lot of white before you start looking crazy, but in real life, a little dab will do. Be sure to blend the white into your eyeshadow, but you don’t need to make it disappear completely.
If you’d like a fancier or more festive look, put a bit of light-colored shimmer over the white. Then your eyes will really sparkle!

Go easy with foundation.

One of the main steps in most, if not all, make-up routines is foundation. If you use it correctly, foundation can cover up blemishes and smooth out your skin. However, many people make a crucial, cakey mistake in their quest to look younger. For an insider tip on how to fully benefit from your foundation, take a look at our video below.
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Keep it creamy.

As lines start to form on your face (it’s not a bad thing, and it happens to all of us), you may want to change your makeup to suit your changing skin. One easy way to do this is to use cream-based products.
Professional makeup artist, Bustle beauty expert, and owner of Sugar Skull Makeup Marissa Hohner says, “Cream blushes, cream eyeshadow, cream highlighters will all give you a younger appearance.” The cream adds hydration to your skin. “The more moisturized your skin looks, the younger your skin appears,” Hohner says.

While blush and eyeshadow can make dry skin look drier, creams go on smooth and hide all the little imperfections. Plus, there’s something super satisfying about using a stick of blush. I can’t explain it, but it’s true.

Make friends with concealer.

Find a concealer you love. Covering up under-eye circles or little skin imperfections always makes you look instantly younger. I love the light, but pigmented, Instant Age Rewind. It covers my exceptionally dark circles without having to cake on layers and layers of makeup.

Hohner has an additional concealer tip: Set with powder! “By using a lightweight, loose, translucent powder to set your under-eye concealer, you will prevent your concealer from creasing and accentuating any crow’s feet or fine lines under and around the eye.”
Concealer getting cakey under your eyes can be a big problem, but a little setting powder solves the issue completely.

The best part about concealer is how easy it is. Honestly, if you don’t have time for a full face, just pop on some concealer, seal with powder, and head out the door. Simply covering up under-eye circles makes you look years younger, and it’s super easy to do.

For bad circles, add a little orange.

Once, a makeup artist who was working with me took out some orange lipstick and I got scared. As a super pale lady, orange lips are not my deal. “No, it’s for your eyes,” she said. I got more scared. But, she used a bit of it under my concealer to cancel out the purple of my under-eye circles…and it worked great!

You may have seen YouTube videos of makeup bloggers bragging about using red lipstick for circles under your eyes. But Instyle (and I) agree that a little orange under the concealer is the best way to go.
According to the magazine, red and orange are opposite of blues and purples on the color wheel, so the colors cancel each other out. But orange is less harsh than red, so it blends more easily while still combating the darkness under your eyes.

A post shared by Dawn Jodi Barendse (@dawnbarendse) on Dec 5, 2017 at 7:18am PST

Now, this concealer trick can vary a lot based on your skin tone. If you have darker skin, a red might be the best. If you have fair skin, a peach tone works great. Have some fun with your reddy-orange lipsticks and see what works best for you!

All About Those Brows

“It’s all about the ‘brows!” says professional makeup artist Rosa Fasolo, who’s worked with everyone from JWoww of Jersey Shore to David Tutera on WETV’s CELEBrations. “As we get older, our eyebrows begin to lighten, grow less hair, and can sometimes become almost non-existent and lose their shape,” Fasolo says.

But adding back some shape can work wonders, according to Fasolo: “One of my favorite ‘never fail’ makeup hacks that makes all the difference, especially when trying to achieve a younger look, is filling in and darkening the eyebrows and giving them a nice full shape.”
She truly thinks this is the most important step for a lively, youthful look. “You’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it makes!”

Lashes: Go big or go home.

Think of all the things that have beautifully long lashes: babies, Disney Princesses, baby deer. I mean, when’s the last time a “doe-eyed” person looked old? Never! If you’ve seen an old doe in the forest, I’d truly be surprised.

Clearly, long lashes give you an instantly youthful look. But just like the brows, our lashes grow thinner as we age. So, we just have to work a little harder to get the long lashes of our dreams.
Feel free to add a little extra mascara to gain length and volume, or go all out with false lashes. When the rest of your makeup is light, going a little heavy on the lashes doesn’t look out of place—it looks nice!

If you are curious about fake lashes, but are hesitant to wear a full set, start with individual lashes. The Cut recommended applying single lashes on the outer corners of your eyes. Then, if you want to add more, feel free! This way you can have as much or as little lash as you want. Plus, it’ll look super natural.

The biggest tip, though, is to start with the skin.

Every makeup artist agreed on the best way to look young: Have good skin! Okay, that’s a bit of a simplification, but every professional knows that taking care of your skin is always the most important part of any makeup routine.
“Great makeup always starts with a base of a strong skincare routine,” Hohner says. She recommends cleansing twice a day and exfoliating a few times a week—no matter your age. For an extra youthful look, add some vitamin C to your routine. “Using products with vitamin C in them promotes collagen growth in your skin, balances out discoloration/sun spots and prevents/tightens the appearance of lines and wrinkles in the skin.” So, with some care and vitamin C, you can slow aging down without any makeup.
For an extra youthful glow, Caren Sayadian, owner of Caren Beauty, recommends using a serum and primer before putting on foundation. “Otherwise, the makeup just ‘sits’ on the skin, which can look patchy and uneven, as more mature skin lacks collagen and makes it feel dry,” Sayadian says.
A good primer fills in pores and lines, so you get solid, even coverage from just a little bit of foundation.

Then, to complete your look, add a bit of powder. “Do not over powder the entire face,” Sayadian says, “as youthful skin has a natural glow.” You don’t want to cover up your glow. Let it show! Okay, enough rhymes.
But honestly, the most important tip to look young? Love how you look. If you feel good, you’ll look good, no matter what makeup you wear.

Tags 50037231, care, Commerce, hemingway

Nosh

7 Things That Chefs Hate

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date December 6, 2017

We all know not to make our servers mad (unless a spit garnish sounds tasty), but what upsets the most important person in the restaurant? Though we’re all used to seeing celebrity chefs yell insults at wannabes, it’s rare that we ever really get to know what makes them tick in an average restaurant.

Turns out that chefs have a wide variety of pet peeves. From little customer habits that would annoy anybody to outrageous requests most people wouldn’t believe, we’ve compiled all the things that chefs hate most.

Before you read any further, please remember that chefs work hard. Really hard. It’s not all yelling at prep cooks and serving celebrities like TV shows would make it seem. According to KQED Food,

chef Charlise Johnson gets hit extra hard by special requests. She prides herself on her work at her boutique bakery Intimate Eats. “Because I design and create very intricate specialty cakes, I really hate last minute requests,” Johnson says.

A post shared by Charlise Johnson (@intimateeats) on Jan 29, 2017 at 5:10pm PST

Now, Johnson’s not talking about people wanting their grandma’s name on a Happy Birthday cake or any such simple request.

“Customers contact me and say things like, ‘I want a replica of the White House by tomorrow,‘” Johnson says. Yes, a customer actually thought it was completely appropriate to ask for a cake version of the most famous building in America with less than a day to make it!

Johnson won’t shy away from a challenge, but she finds it very rude for customers to expect her to work miracles overnight. So, super special requests are doable, but make sure the chef has plenty of time for a potentially difficult dish.

7. “What’s the recipe?”

Johnson admits she has another big pet peeve: when customers ask for her special recipes. “This drives me crazy!” Johnson says. “I wouldn’t mind sharing if this wasn’t such a niche business. I only sell made from scratch baked goods. My recipes are essential to how my business makes money.”

This is true not only for Johnson and boutique bakeries, but for any chef with a signature dish. When a customer asks for the recipe, they’re asking for the chef’s livelihood. Hey, if everybody started making their meals at home, they could potentially go out of business.

Now, I totally get that this simple request doesn’t seem that offensive to most diners. In fact, I’ve sadly done this myself. But I’ll never do it again!

Tags 50037241, fuel, hemingway

Motherhood

Why Are All The Disney Moms Either Evil Or Absent?

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date October 16, 2017

When you think of Disney films, you tend to think of light-hearted musical stories where good always wins and our heroes live out their happily ever after in a beautiful castle. But when you look deeper, you’ll see there’s a dark undercurrent to nearly all of their films.
Try to name the mother of your favorite Disney character. Can you? It’s pretty tough since nearly all the Disney moms are dead, evil, or totally forgettable.

Disney protagonists, even though they’re typically female, usually have either no mother figure or a horrible mother figure: the Evil Queen, the Wicked Stepmother, Maleficent, Ursula, the list goes on. So, where are all the moms in Disney films?
We’ll explore the role of motherhood in Disney movies and the fairy tales they’re derived from. And we’ll see how changes in society have been reflected in the development of mother characters in recent Disney films.

Why No Moms?

Walt Disney’s Tragic Backstory

Walt Disney faced a lot of hardship on his road to success. His most famous character, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, was stolen from him; his new studio was constantly losing money; and everyone scoffed at the idea of a full-length animated feature. But Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was a success beyond Disney’s wildest dreams. So in 1938, he did what every child dreams of: He bought his parents a house.

Less than a month after moving in, his mother complained of a leaking furnace, so Disney had it fixed. Yet, the heater still leaked. A few days later, the housekeeper found Disney’s mother and father unconscious. His father survived, but sadly, his mother passed away.
Disney never spoke of his mother’s death. Since Disney was so involved in every production, it’s been surmised that his guilt over his the death of his mother may have influenced his films and choice of material.

A Little Bit Dramatic

Though we don’t tend to think of Disney movies as “dramas,” they still need to create dramatic action to tell their story.
Disney executive producer Don Hahn told Glamour about one of the reasons that Disney characters lack moms: “One reason is practical because the movies are 80 or 90 minutes long, and Disney films are about growing up… In shorthand, it’s much quicker to have characters grow up when you bump off their parents. Bambi’s mother gets killed, so he has to grow up.”

It might sound a bit brutal, but there’s nothing more dramatic than a loss of a parent. Bambi being thrust into adulthood by his mother’s death is far more climactic than him leaving the woods with a loving mom waiting at home.
The reliance on “wicked stepmothers,” on the other hand, comes from a subversion of the “kindly, maternal woman” trope. A child thinks they’ll find solace in a mother figure’s arms and when that is proved wrong, the character now must continue her journey with a greater sense of drama.

Creating Sympathy…Quick

Most Disney films are 90 minutes long at the most, but these movies don’t actually have that full hour and a half to tell their story. There also has to be room for at least five songs (typically), plus action sequences to keep kids’ attention. So, you really have just a little over an hour to tell a tale with sympathetic, relatable characters. An easy way to get sympathy? Kill the main character’s mom.
Since most Disney protagonists are underdogs who get pushed into adulthood, making that child motherless immediately gets the audience’s sympathy. You hardly have to create any other backstory; as soon as we know a child is orphaned or plagued by a villainous family member, we’ll want to see that character overcome and succeed.
Because the Disney stories have to be told quickly in a way that young children can easily understand, a dead or absent mom is an simple way to create a sympathetic hero that the whole audience will be happy to root for.

Look to the source.

Nowadays, Disney has come out with a spate of original stories, but the company’s original success was thanks to its adaptations of fairy tales. If you want to find a genre that’s darker, more violent, and full of worse mothers than Disney’s films, just take a look at the classic fairy tales their adaptations are based on—believe it or not, Disney cleaned up a lot of the darker aspects of the classic French and German stories.

For example, in Aschenputtel, the Brothers Grimm telling of Cinderella, the wicked stepsisters cut off pieces of their feet to try to fit into the glass slipper; after Aschenputtel marries the prince, birds end up pecking out the stepsisters’ eyes. It’s clear Disney toned down the violence in their 1950 film, but they didn’t sweeten every aspect of the original tales in other adaptions.
Though Grimm seemed pretty, well, grim, the brothers’ tales were actually “Disney-fied” from their original versions. Both Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were persecuted by their biological mothers in the stories from the 17th century. But the Grimms didn’t like the idea of dishonoring the role of motherhood, so they changed the evil moms into evil stepmothers and the stories have stayed that way ever since.
Still, is the idea of taking mothers out of the picture or making females the frequent villains a comment upon the role of women in society? Some argue that fairy tales reinforce the idea that women are either motherly and pure or child-hating and evil, with no shades in between.

But Jared Miracle, PhD folklorist/anthropologist, says that motherless fairy tales are just a function of story structure: “We can armchair psychoanalyze as much as we want, but story mechanics demand a problematic past and/or flawed home life for protagonists.”
Miracle continues, “That’s why we see stories from around the world featuring this same tendency. If our main character comes from a happy home with no domestic troubles, then mom and dad will just fix the problem. Consequently, one or both of them needs to be taken out of the picture.”

Sign of the Times

Usually, literature and film are in some way a reflection of their time. And when the Grimms’ tales became popular, it was fairly common to grow up without a mother. Women died in childbirth at a horrible rate and the men would often remarry as they felt unable to take care of a child and home.

Since women were utterly dependent on men for financial stability, they weren’t afraid to fight to keep what they felt was rightfully theirs. It wasn’t uncommon for a stepmother to scheme against the children to try to get the husband’s wealth to herself. Also, at the time, children weren’t treated with warmth and affection like they are today. So, it’s not surprising to think that an 18th-century stepmom might not be incredibly loving.
Orphans continued to take center stage as novels rose in popularity in the Victorian era. Writing for the British Library, John Mullan, professor of English at University College London, says that since an orphaned character is immediately out of place in the world, it’s easy to put them in a variety of dramatic situations. If Oliver Twist, for instance, had asked his mother for more food, at worst he would have got a smack on the bottom. Instead, motherless, Twist is forced to explore the underworld of London and take readers on an adventure they could never really experience.

An orphaned character can leave home easily to have an exciting journey. Would Harry Potter have hightailed it to Hogwarts that fast if it meant leaving his loving parents behind? Sure, he certainly might have, but it’s far more exciting to know that Harry’s only choice is to leave life behind and enter the world of magic.
Though orphans and motherless children are less commonplace today, they still create the perfect protagonist for a journey of discovery.

The Changing Role of Moms

No Moms, but Good Dads

In most older Disney films, the dad either wasn’t around or didn’t seem to do much of anything.
Cinderella’s dad always seemed painfully naive at best for letting his new wife treat his daughter so poorly; after his death, she ended up doing all the cleaning for her and her children.

But, in some of the more modern films, like Finding Nemo, the mother is still killed, and the father grows to take her place as a parent. The Atlantic finds this semi-trend of “killing the mom to make the dad great” incredibly condescending. Their article posits that female characters are only around to be an idealistic version of womanhood, who must die quickly so we can learn how great the dad really is. The father character always gets a lot of screen time; he gets to learn, grow, and—most importantly—stay alive.
But, the trend toward leaving the father around may not be so insulting. Yes, it is a shame that there are fewer fleshed out older female characters in Disney films, but they often make up for it by providing an array of wonderful female protagonists. Even in Finding Nemo, the breakout character was Dory, who later got her own movie about a journey to find her parents.
When asked his opinion on why the mother is typically the one to die in these films, Miracle says, “I propose that we have a societal bias in which single moms are the norm, but when a man proves to be a competent parent all by his lonesome, then it is something extraordinary. Let’s call it the Homer Simpson Effect.”
It’s true that there are a lot more single mothers raising a family than single fathers. And though we might be underestimating men’s ability to raise kids, a man who raises a family on his own is always praised as an amazing anomaly, whereas, a single mom is “just doing her job.”

Miracle is right that a single father is more interesting dramatically because we naturally (though probably unconsciously) believe that he won’t succeed. In a way, women are seen as too capable. They’d probably fix most of the protagonists problems before the first act was through.

Fewer Wicked Stepmothers

The wicked female figure has seemed to fall out of fashion in recent Disney films. Though Tangled still featured an evil adoptive mother, there’s an actual reason for her malicious actions. This is a big change from Snow White or Cinderella where the mother figure just wants the girl dead or gone with no apparent motive besides jealousy.

In Frozen, the only villains are male and the only truly dependable figures are female. Though there are male characters around to help Anna, the women are the ones that cause all of the story’s action and resolution. Instead of waiting for a prince to come, the sisters win despite a prince showing up. Their love as sisters is proved more important than the love of a man they barely know.
Though that idea may not sound revolutionary, it goes counter to most previous Disney films and is a stronger feminist statement than most romantic films of the last 30 years.

Even the outright villains are becoming sympathetic. With films like 2014’s Maleficent, there’s been a move to humanize villains of all types. In modern Disney films, you’re less likely to find a character fueled by plain old evil and more likely to find that all the characters have layered motivations.

The Rise of the Single Mom

Though the number of single dads in real life is on the rise, Disney films instead has chosen to focus on more solitary mother figures in their films. Sadly, the mothers rarely feature much into the story.
Andy’s mom in Toy Story, for example, is definitely a single mother, though we learn little about her. (To be fair, though, we learn literally nothing about Andy’s dad and Andy isn’t even technically the protagonist of the film.)
Throwing it back to 1941, Dumbo’s mom is on her own but does little more than try to comfort her big-eared child. In The Lion King, Simba’s father is killed and we barely see him ever again.
There’s a bit of encouraging progress in 2009’s The Princess and the Frog. Tiana’s mother, Eudora, is not only alive, she’s a wise, hard-working character who plays an important role in encouraging Tiana’s dreams—what a welcome change! But even though Eudora is one of the more present mothers in Disney history, in the film, Tiana spends a lot more time thinking about the memory of her dead father.

Though it’s nice to see a living mother in Disney films, these characters actually often have less characterization than the dead moms of films past. This may not be because Disney is trying to minimize the importance of female characters, but it does prove that an alive mother is often less interesting dramatically for the protagonist. Some moms might make it out alive, but they don’t do much more than that.

Mothers Becoming Integral Characters

Despite the trends against major mother characters, in most recent years, we’ve begun to see some strong moms in the world of Disney.
The best example is 2012’s Brave. The entire story revolves around the complicated relationship of mother and daughter. There’s little romantic plot; instead the film focuses on the exploration of the deep, but not always happy bond between a mother and her child.

In Pocahontas, Grandmother Willow provided advice and maternal support for the main character. She was a source of wisdom and guidance, who helped Pocahontas far more than the other male characters.
A rare early example of a strong mom is Perdita of One Hundred and One Dalmatians. She fights just as hard as dad Pongo to save their puppies from Cruella De Vil. She even winds up hauling her children through the snow so they can be safe. Perdita is treated with more importance than the puppies’ father and is an overlooked mother of note in the Disney canon.
To find another incredibly active mother, look to The Incredibles. Elastagirl, or Helen Parr when she’s not a superhero, is a necessary part of the team. She’s still a mom who takes care of her family, but she also goes out and fights like everyone else. The story wouldn’t work without Helen, which is a rare feat for a Disney mom.

One of the most recent Disney films gives us a wonderful example of a well-rounded mother. In Inside Out, we see both the mother and father for all their strengths and weaknesses. The mom isn’t always right, but she’s caring, quirky, gets understandably annoyed by her husband, but still loves her family with all her heart. Though the mother is just a supporting character, Inside Out does an incredible job of giving her a life of her own and still telling an intriguing story.
It’s doubtful that Disney will ever completely shy away from stories about motherless children. But, it’s clear that Disney is moving toward making their maternal characters more than just idealized beacons of femininity.
Maybe in the future, we’ll get more varied villains, nicer stepmothers, and maybe—just maybe—some additional moms who stay alive for more than 90 minutes.

Tags 50036081, hemingway, parenting

Wellbeing

Friends With Benefits: This Is How Money Can Buy You Friends

Post author By Amber Petty
Post date October 16, 2017

Though friendship is a necessary part of a healthy life, it’s not always easy to come by once you hit adulthood. Whether your focus is merely gaining social media followers or you’re looking for ways to cultivate substantial relationships in real life, making new friends is far from easy.
Now, a variety of sites have popped up to give you an easy solution to finding friends: buy them!

It turns out that a high social standing could be worth the money spent on rented friendships.

Companies like RentAFriend.com and BridesmaidForHire.com are now monetizing friendship. Whether you’re visiting a new town and would like to hire a local to show you around or you’re attending a local concert and don’t want to go alone, these rental friend sites can hook you up with a perfectly good mate—for a price.

Though this sounds like a simple solution, the idea of “buying” friends feels, for lack of a better word, icky. Our best friends are people who have helped us through hard times, celebrated our good times, and have stayed loyal through it all. How could you get any of that from a paid stranger? And why might someone want a stranger to pose as a friend for an event as personal as a wedding?
It turns out that a high social standing could be worth the money spent on rented friendships. A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that participants with a high social status behaved more charitably, performed well, and physiologically responded better to stress than their low social status peers. Not only did the feeling of a higher social status engender better behavior, but the perceived low status made those participants exhibit many negative symptoms.
The study stated: “While higher-status roles engender more salutary outcomes, more harmful outcomes may ensue for lower-status roles including negative perceptions, maladaptive physiological reactivity to stress, poorer performance, and less pro-social behavior.”

So, if buying friends makes you feel like you have a high social status, it may actually bring about positive behaviors that could bring you more success—and real friends—in the future.
We’ll explore whether or not these rented friendships really raise your social status and find the reasons why purchased friends could someday become the norm.

From A/S/L to FWSB

Though old-school social media sites fostered the first form of online friendships (chatrooms anyone?), now social media plays a major role in business and pleasure alike. Here’s how we went from “A/S/L?” to “friends with (social) benefits.”

When It Doesn’t Work…

Since the days of old-school social media sites like MySpace and LiveJournal, companies have been offering ways for users to buy friends and followers. Now, as social media plays a huge role in most people’s lives—and livelihoods—these companies are busier than ever.

Why buy social media followers in the first place? Most people don’t do it just to look popular, but instead to increase visibility for their brand or businesses.
But some experts think these purchased friends are a waste of cash.

The perceived social acceptance doesn’t do much to actually support a growing business or brand.

The Washington Post warned against the practice of seeking “empty clout.” “You’ll end up with a high number of likes on your page, but they’ll be from people who don’t actually like you,” they reported. The inflated audience isn’t necessarily one interested in your brand, so the high number of followers won’t lead to a high engagement or a high number of sales. In this case, the perceived social acceptance doesn’t do much to actually support a growing business or brand.

On Twitter, fake followers are just as bad. Adweek adamantly advises against buying followers, saying that the practice makes you or your business look deceptive and potentially fraudulent. Yes, an inflated audience may draw attention at first, but as soon as any potential real follower sees your list is full of bots and fake accounts, all that clout goes out the window. Buying followers on Twitter is a shortcut to perceived importance, but it won’t really increase your online social standing.

…And When It Does

On the other hand, buying Instagram followers might not be such a bad idea. Unlike other areas of social media, Instagram accounts with lots of followers can be selected as influencers—a relatively new term for people who can obtain lucrative endorsements from big brands and corporations just by sharing some carefully hashtagged posts.

It has to be done right, though. For instance, Refinery29 doesn’t recommend buying thousands of followers overnight. That would lead to the same “empty clout” that The Washington Post described. But, buying a few extra followers can give you a boost that leads to attracting a large audience of your own. If you buy 100 t0 500 followers, Instagram won’t flag your account as spam and those new followers could easily get you more likes.

Buying followers could lead to great Instagram success.

But here’s the tricky part. To get the big time brand deals on Instagram, you can’t just have a bunch of followers; you need a consistent amount of likes on your posts. So, if your content goes over well with your purchased audience, you’ll have great visibility and could potentially attract endorsements. If your new friends don’t take a liking to your work, no big deal—just buy likes!
Yes, on Instagram you can buy 10,000 likes for about $70. You can even get 500 comments for around $130 if you really want to enhance your account. Likes and comments get attention, but it would be incredibly costly to buy that kind of audience engagement for every post.

Unlike other forms of social media, Instagram allows you to buy every part of friendship: followers, likes, and comments. That creates a full impression of a high social standing and an engagement with your audience. Though that audience might be mostly fake, it can create a perception of success that could actually get you more followers and brand attention. So, buying followers could lead to great Instagram success.
Would you feel good about buying your way to the top? In the end, that’s the question you need to answer before buying 10,000 likes a day.

Got to Be Real (Life)

There are some ethical questions and physical risks posed when you buy online friends. But what about when people try to buy relationships in real life?

I know you weren’t really his friend, but if you weren’t before, then you’re our friend now.

There are lots of ways money can get you “friends,” but is it really worth it?

Rent a Friend

RentAFriend.com (and Rent A Local Friend) lets you rent a friend for whatever you like. It’s made clear it is not for dating, relationships, or escorts, just purely platonic friendship. After paying about $25 for a membership fee, you can select a friend for anywhere from $10-$55 an hour, then go do, well, whatever you want. Also, people can sign up as friends and make some side money meeting new people.

What is it like to rent a friend? News Australia spoke to Vicky, a 32-year-old woman who rented herself out as a friend many times. Most of the time, the companion just wanted another person around. They weren’t looking for a deep connection or an ongoing friendship. “I’m just this … thing, this person, that’s there for reassurance,” Vicky said.
Most of her clients were male and her experiences ranged from accompanying a fashion blogger to a pool party to getting a marriage proposal. Yes, even though the sites are not meant for dating, a client once took her to pizza and asked if she’d marry him so he could stay in the country. Vicky said no. Another guy once asked to buy her underwear. Vicky said no to that too.
Vicky enjoyed being a friend and though it was often odd (the underwear moment in particular), she felt it was a fun way to earn a little extra money and relieve somebody’s loneliness.

Most of the time, clients just needed a person to talk to. Maybe renting a friend isn’t all that different from paying for a therapy session. If you just need a short-term companion for a specific event, hiring someone to tag along may have similar, though short term results.
In all of Vicky’s time as rental friend, she never made a real connection with any of her clients and was never hired more than once. So, they may have felt better going out with her for one day, but they’d still have to rent a friend the next time loneliness hit.

Rent a Bridesmaid

People often underestimate how much work goes into being a bridesmaid or, worse yet, a maid of honor. Instead of forcing friends to buy expensive dresses they’ll never wear again, some brides have opted to use a site like Bridesmaid for Hire.

For a small fee, you get a bridesmaid who will spend all her time focused on the bride, plan the bachelorette party, and not complain about the dress.

They weren’t overly fussed about everything the way that a best friend would normally be.

This idea seems incredibly counterintuitive. Most brides want their closest friends and family to be their bridal party. Who would opt for a complete stranger to take the role?
Michele Velazquez, wedding planner and owner of Pop The Knot, once dealt with rented bridesmaids. In that situation, the bride and groom had their wedding in New York City. The groom had friends and family there, but the bride’s friends lived a little farther away in Australia. So, instead of asking her friends to fly across an ocean to attend her wedding, she rented two bridesmaids.
For Ms. Velazquez, the situation was ideal. She said, “I loved working with the girls because since they did not know the bride, they weren’t overly fussed about everything the way that a best friend would normally be. They simply listened to the instructions and executed. I thought it was great.”
The bride was just as happy with the service and it suited her small wedding well. She avoided all the drama and hurt feelings that often come with traditional bridesmaids and instead had a perfectly easy day. For a faraway wedding, rented bridesmaids could be a much simpler option.

For a non-destination wedding, renting a bridesmaid does cut out some headaches, but could bring on others. Friends could feel hurt or betrayed by the bride choosing to buy a friend rather than use her lifelong buddies. Also, your bought bridesmaids will be polite and functional, but they’ll never be as emotionally invested in the event as a close friend.
All in all, rented bridesmaids definitely have a place in the world of weddings, but they’ll always lack the emotional depth of a real friend.
Rent A Groomsman
Remember The Wedding Ringer? Probably not. But, it was a movie about an awkward guy renting a best man and all the hilarity and emotion that ensued. Turns out that’s not just a Hollywood premise, but a real service that Hire A Best Man has to offer.

Ewan Jones, founder of the site, goes around the world organizing bachelor parties and performing epic best man speeches for people he doesn’t really know. In The Telegraph, he said that his customers range from stereotypical nerds (like the Comic Con–themed wedding that had him dressed up as Batman to do his duties) to men who’ve moved abroad and didn’t yet have friends in the country.
Ideally, no one knows that Jones isn’t an actual friend of the groom. He writes up a loose backstory explaining his friendship with the groom so people won’t guess he’s a man for hire. The family just sees a well-dressed man giving a lovely speech and keeping the event moving. This could give the groom a higher social standing in the eyes of his in-laws and other friends.

But as in the case of purchased online friendships, if the ruse is uncovered, it all results in more “empty clout.”
But Jones insists his work only helps lonely grooms. Jones was only found out once—by the bride of all people—who said to him “I know you weren’t really his friend, but if you weren’t before, then you’re our friend now.”

Rent a Mourner

Even from the grave, people seek social acceptance.
In 2013, HuffPost reported on Rent A Mourner, a site that lets you fill out a funeral with some fake friends. The mourners are briefed on the deceased life and will act appropriately sad during the funeral.
This is especially interesting because it shows people are still worried about social standing even in death. This is purely about perceived friendship. The deceased can’t feel better about having the support of a larger social circle at their funeral—they’re dead.

But the family could still be affected by the social standing of their loved one, so some would rather pay strangers to cry than suffer the embarrassment of an empty funeral.
In a way, this proves that perceived social standing is close to or just as important as actual friendship and connection.

Is it worth it?

Buying friends online and in real life does seem to have some positive effects. It can give you an easy wedding, attract brand attention, and ease loneliness in the short term. But do those effects last?
Dr. Wyatt Fisher, clinical psychologist and creator of niche dating site ChristianCrush.com, says that if a person feels they are being judged for their lack of friends, their self-esteem will fall. So, even if they’re simply perceived as having more friends, it can boost self-esteem in the short term. But renting a friend isn’t a long-term answer.
“While this may help buffer their self-esteem with how they think others view them, it won’t fill the hole in their soul of needing real, authentic relationships in their life,” Fisher says.
In the end, money can get you ahead, but it still can’t get you everything you need. And though technology has come a long way, nothing can replace the love and support of a deep, authentic friendship.

Tags 50036056, balance, hemingway

2. Brunches

3. Hot Sauce

4. Abusive Bosses

5. Anything Slow

6. Outrageous Last Minute Demands