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Symptoms Of OCD Most People Don’t Know

“Every minute of every day I had terrifying thoughts of harming myself that I could not understand to save my life.”
Prior to her diagnosis less than a year ago, Orlando resident Kate Feder, recalls spending months afraid of leaving her apartment. “All I wanted to do was sleep because that was the only time that the thoughts weren’t suffocating me,” the 23-year-old tells HealthyWay.
Mental health, like everything else, exists on a spectrum. But far from the rosy-colored depictions we see in popular culture, symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are intrusive and unwanted, often inhibiting a person’s day-to-day functioning. Imagine feeling overwhelming uncertainty all day, every day—a constant what if? humming in your mind.

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According to the National Institute of Health, 1.2 percent of Americans over the age of 18 have been diagnosed with OCD in the past year, yet there is still a lot that is unknown about the disorder. We reached out to experts and people living with OCD to dispel common myths and misconceptions. Here is what you should know.

What is OCD?

Broadly defined, OCD is a chronic, long-lasting disorder characterized by uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) like an extreme fear of germs, having things in perfect order, unwanted thoughts involving sex, religion, or harm.
“Often, people come in with anxiety, depression, or eating disorders, but don’t realize that OCD is either underlying or comorbid with another disorder,” says Kate Dansie, master of social work, a clinical therapist from Maryland who specializes in OCD.
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It’s often characterized by behaviors (compulsions) that the person feels the urge to endlessly repeat. This can look like excessive cleaning or hand washing or repeatedly checking on things like whether a door is locked or the oven still on.
While many of us are prone to double checking things, those with OCD will spend an inordinate amount of time performing these behaviors or rituals. “In order to be diagnostically classified as having OCD, the obsessions and compulsions have to be time-consuming (greater than one hour a day) or cause significant distress or impairment,” explains psychotherapist Jennifer Welbel, who treats patients in her Illinois center for anxiety.

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“Many people think of the television character Monk or Jack Nicholson’s character in as Good As It Gets,” says Boston freelance writer Laura Kiesel, who was diagnosed at age 14 with Pure-O, a variant of the disorder where there are no obvious outward compulsions—only distressing mental images.
She explains that OCD is often portrayed in the media as a person having repetitive behaviors like hand-washing or counting steps, but these don’t convey her own experience: intrusive, disturbing thoughts that made her put off therapy for fear of being committed.
Similarly, Feder says she created compulsions out of fear to help ease the pain of her thoughts. “These compulsions ended up becoming an issue that I couldn’t stop acting out, and I knew I needed to get help.”

Worries are not the same as obsessions.

We all have a habit of conflating small worries with major concerns, but according to Feder, the biggest myth about OCD is that it’s a personality quirk that makes you want to organize or color-code things around your home. She wishes people understood that the disorder isn’t some “cute” term to throw around for attention.

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“That is the farthest thing from the truth and continues to perpetuate a stigma that is completely untrue and hurtful to those who actually suffer from this crippling disorder.”
To qualify as having obsessions in OCD, they must be recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or impulses that cause distress and are experienced as intrusive and unwanted. “I often have clients tell me that they are ‘obsessing’ over something and therefore, they must have OCD,” says Welbel.
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If a person has a fear of contamination but is able to wash their hands a few times and then move on with their day, then they would qualify as having tendencies but not have a formal diagnosis. Likewise, an individual that has a fixation on something like video games does not necessarily have the disorder.
Anna Prudovski, an Ontario psychologist and clinical director of Turning Point Psychological Services, defines OCD as a sliding scale or a continuum with hardly noticeable symptoms on the one end and extremely severe presentation on the other end.
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OCD can be mild in form, where the compulsions do not greatly impact a person’s life. The other side of the scale is the opposite.
“At its worst, [the disorder] is debilitating,” says Dansie, “with people spending hours upon hours on rituals in an attempt to neutralize the perceived threat.”

Overlooked Symptoms of OCD

According to experts, these are six of the most commonly overlooked signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Intrusive Thoughts or Images

“Many OCD sufferers have no visible rituals and it is impossible for others to identify the OCD,” says Prudovski. But this type of OCD is no less severe. “The person with Pure-O OCD [as Kiesel was diagnosed with] may be preoccupied with obsessions and mental compulsions every waking hour, which leads to tremendous suffering.”

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Difficulty Concentrating

It may look similar to ADHD, learning disabilities, or even just lack of interest. But in fact, this symptom is related to the person giving constant internal attention to their obsessions and urges. And while OCD and ADHD seem related on the surface, there can be enormous consequences if mistaken for each other, as treatment differs for each.

Reassurance-Seeking

This is rarely associated with OCD, but constant reassurance-seeking, where no amount is enough, is very often a sign of OCD. In such cases, seeking reassurance is a compulsion. For example, a person obsessed with a burglar breaking into their home will continually check the lock on the door in an attempt to reassure themselves.

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Preoccupation With Certain Numbers

Some people with OCD have numerous superstitions and so-called magical thinking. They are preoccupied with doing things a certain number of times or avoiding specific numbers. For example, Prudovski notes that a person may avoid number 6, and also numbers 5 and 7 as they are next to number 6, and also all the numbers that can be divided by 6, etc. This compulsion may not be visible to others, but the sufferer is preoccupied with how many times they pump the shampoo bottle, what number the volume of the radio is, or what temperature they are “allowed” to put their oven on.

Fear and Avoidance

A symptom especially common in people who have Harm OCD, who are afraid to harm others. They may go to great lengths to avoid being next to children, relatives, persons of a specific gender, or specific places. As Charles Elliott, PhD, a clinical psychologist and a founding fellow in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, explained in an interview with PsychCentral, “It makes your world smaller and fosters your fears. The more you avoid, the worse things get.”

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Being Chronically Late

According to Laura Dabney, MD, a psychiatrist from Virginia Beach, chronic tardiness is due to needing to perform rituals or behaviors before being able to leave the house or wherever they find themselves in that moment. As highlighted in this HealthBoards thread, people with OCD can also become anxious about arriving somewhere at the wrong time or forgetting something they needed.

OCD can easily be misdiagnosed.

In some cases, the symptoms may not be impairing enough and can easily be misdiagnosed. In fact, one 2015 study found that half of obsessive-compulsive disorder cases were misdiagnosed by primary care physicians.
Unfortunately, therapists who aren’t familiar with OCD may diagnose someone with depression or even send someone to the hospital, despite that person having no intent to hurt themselves. As Dansie notes, “This is misdiagnosis at its worst!”

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According to Jamie McNally, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Sycamore Counseling Services in Michigan, many practitioners are also not particularly aware of the nuances of the disorder, confusing Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) with OCD.

Key differences between OCD and OCPD

The obsessions that manifest in OCD aren’t always rational and can even seem bizarre. “Typically, people with OCD want to be rid of these thoughts and actions,” says McNally.
On the other hand, an individual with OCPD may also be highly focused on order, but this presents as a rigidity or stubbornness to have things a certain way because of a strict moral code, a belief that theirs is the “only right way,” or as a result of high levels of perfectionism.

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McNally is adamant that more attention should be given to these different diagnoses, as misdiagnosis can easily occur, and this has critical implications for treatment.

How is OCD treated?

Welbel recommends seeking a therapist trained in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), as the most evidence-based effective method for dealing with OCD symptoms. “It involves gradually confronting the [person’s] feared situations, impulses, urges, or thoughts.”

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By doing so, she says the goal is that they learn the following:

  • Our feared situations, outcomes, or triggers are not as dangerous and scary as we initially thought.
  • Our anxious feelings and body sensations are not as bad as we make them out to be.
  • We are capable of tolerating the anxiety, risk, and uncertainty that we have avoided for so long.
  • Our feared outcomes usually don’t occur; and if they do, we can manage it better than we thought.

“[The therapy] involves facing your obsessions—fears—head on and not acting out compulsions,” says Feder, who has tried the treatment for the past several months and found it to be helpful. “[ERP] is extremely scary for those with OCD, but it’s the best form of therapy possible.”

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It’s important to realize that the obsessions and compulsions are serving a purpose, explains Dabney. “They are there for an unconscious reason.” For many, the reason is to cover an unwanted or unacceptable feeling, she notes. “The brain can not focus on facts and feelings at the same time.” In fact, past studies have shown that being highly sensitive to guilt plays a significant role in checking-related OCD symptoms.
“Treatment would then consist of helping the patient normalize whatever feeling they are avoiding.” Dabney gives the example of a child who feels guilty for being angry at a parent they love and consequently starts using obsessions and compulsions to distract from their anger. “A therapist would help [the child] to realize that anger at those we love is normal.”
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Aside from her therapy sessions, Feder says she also takes an SSRI (Lexapro) at a high dosage to help lower her anxiety—a main contributor to OCD. According to the International OCD Foundation, those who benefit from medication usually see their OCD symptoms reduced by 40 to 60 percent.
That said, it’s not the definitive answer for everyone. “I was on medication for only a short while—about six months—and I didn’t react well to it,” says Kiesel, who was initially diagnosed in her teens. “While it did help some with decreasing the frequency of my obsessive thoughts and relieve some of the companion anxiety, the side effects ultimately outweighed the benefits.”

Breaking Away From Stigma

“What ultimately helped me [as a teen], as strange as it sounds, was joining and becoming very active in drama club in high school,” notes Kiesel. “Having something to distract and redirect my busy mind … as well as a creative and expressive outlet, was crucial to my recovery.”
While she is no longer in theater, Kiesel says her writing now serves a similar purpose and has since written about her experience. “I also think not feeling guilty or scared of these thoughts has allowed them to not have the control they had over my life.”

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Overall, she’s adamant that greater awareness and education on OCD would help break the stigma surrounding the disorder.
Feder agrees: “People who are actually diagnosed with OCD do not go around bragging about it or talking about it in a funny way,” she says. “It’s a far more serious issue that deserves to be spoken about respectfully.”

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Uncategorized

20 Beauty Products That Aren't Worth The Hype (And What To Buy Instead)

You probably recall this scenario well: You spend hours looking at about a bajillion shades of foundation, dabbing some on your chin and hoping it won’t cause a breakout hours later. Or maybe you fall in love with the perfect shade of maroon for your lips, only to find that it dries into a shriveled mess once you sip your chai tea. Sigh. There’s nothing sadder than a deceptively gorgeous lipstick you can’t use.

We get it. When it comes to buying makeup, the biggest question is whether it will deliver what it promises. We’re not expecting miracles here, but we wouldn’t mind getting pretty close.

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It’s quite simple. Whether you’re shopping luxury or picking out items from the drugstore, you want beauty products that will go the distance and won’t mess you up. And if you can save a little money while you’re at it, even better.

Demystifying which products aren’t worth the hype can get tricky (and pricey) when you’re staring down an array of options. From glittery primers and liquid eyeliners to shade-transforming lipsticks, choosing the right product ain’t for the weak of heart.

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That’s why we’ve taken on the challenge for you. Since we know information overload is overwhelming, we’ve narrowed down items ranging from budget-friendly treasures to higher-end products that are actually worth their salt.  

Enjoy our roundup of exclusively quality picks, and get shopping!

1. SUNDAY RILEY Luna Sleeping Night Oil

As a rule, you’ll want to use a lightweight night treatment that regulates your skin’s oil production and won’t clog your pores. And if you’re blemish-prone or have less-than-lustrous skin, you’re better offer with a lightweight formula. Some folks swear by Luna, but we find that its oil base is a bit heavier than retinol products that contain more water.

Try Instead: Retinol Fusion PM by Peter Thomas Roth

This serum’s potent retinol formula improves your skin’s overall texture and appearance with minimal irritation. Plus, the results are cumulative; the longer you use it, the better your complexion will look. It’s also WAY friendlier on your pocketbook compared to Sunday Riley’s $105 per bottle.

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Amazon

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Peter-Thomas-Roth-Retinol-Fusion/dp/B002VJSGO0″]Retinol Fusion PM by Peter Thomas Roth, $35 on Amazon[/link-button]

2. Laura Mercier Invisible Loose Setting Powder

It’s undeniable that a simple and foolproof setting powder is essential in any makeup arsenal, but you also don’t want to overspend when you can easily opt for a lower-priced option compared to Mercier’s $38 powder.

Try Instead: NYX Studio Finishing Powder

In addition to smoothing over textured skin, NYX mattes over greasy spots without looking cakey. The finishing powder is made with 100 percent pure mineral silica and works on all skin tones.

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Amazon

Use lightly and blend with your concealer for an even, flawless look!

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/NYX-Professional-Makeup-Finishing-Translucent/dp/B009GLQG6Q”]NYX Studio Finishing Powder, $6.99 on Amazon[/link-button]

3. MAC Lipsticks

Finding the right beauty product for our lips means looking at the entire picture: color, shine, staying power, and of course, affordable price. While there are a ton of options out there, some aren’t so great on your budget. Case in point: MAC lipsticks will run you $18.50 per tube.

Try Instead: NYX Lip Lingerie

This lush liquid lipstick will cost you less than half the price of MAC’s alternative and give your lips a stunning matte finish. Not only does NYX offer a variety of luscious, natural-looking colors, you don’t have to reapply their lipstick every 30 minutes.

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Amazon

Dab some on before going out and look fresh for the rest of the day.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/NYX-PROFESSIONAL-MAKEUP-Lingerie-Embellishment/dp/B01APX1TLK”]NYX Lip Lingerie, $4.99 on Amazon[/link-button]

4. Smashbox Iconic Photo Finish Foundation Primer

You know how photo-editing filters give your skin that smooth, flattering look? That’s what a good foundation primer will do for you—create the perfect base for your makeup. Whether you’re looking to minimize the appearance of pores or conceal uneven skin tone, we’ve nailed down the best primer for your budget, and it isn’t this one from Smashbox.

Try Instead: NYX Professional Makeup Studio Perfect Trimmer

If you struggle with foundation “melting” on your skin, try applying a thin layer of this silky formula beforehand for a smooth matte finish.

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Amazon

Compared to Smashbox’s $36, NYX offers a flawless alternative.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/NYX-Studio-Perfect-Primer-Clear/dp/B004RC4S3M”]NYX Professional Makeup Studio Perfect Primer, $8.73 on Amazon[/link-button]

5. GLAMGLOW YOUTHMUD Tinglexfoliate Treatment

A good face mask is the foundation of any good skincare regimen, and while GLAMGLOW’s aroma is enticing, there are more cost-friendly alternatives to their $69 treatment.

Try Instead: Freeman’s Feeling Beautiful Gel Mask and Scrub

What you want is a silky formula that isn’t abrasive and allows your skin to breathe. Freeman’s polishing mask not only helps absorb oil from your skin without overdrying, it also gently exfoliates impurities away.

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Amazon

Black sugar gets rid of dull skin cells for extra smoothness and works for all skin types (especially sensitive). We recommend using twice a week for a dewy, glowing complexion.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Freeman-Feeling-Beautiful-Charcoal-6-Ounce/dp/B01N3SNHAZ/”]Feeling Beautiful Gel Mask and Scrub, $12.06 for 2 on Amazon[/link-button]

6. Too Faced Mascara

We love a good mascara. We might even go overboard with our paycheck if it involves a long-lasting, clump-free formula. Luckily, a budget-friendly option exists to achieve that dramatic lash.

Try Instead: Butter London Double Decker Mascara

While both bottles are similarly priced (Double Decker goes for $20 compared to the Too Faced Mascara’s $24), Butter London gives better value with its lightweight liquid and extreme curl technology.

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Amazon

Get extra length and definition by applying in a zigzag motion from root to the tip of your lash.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/butter-LONDON-Double-Mascara-Stacked/dp/B01DQG3G1Y”]Butter London Double Decker Mascara, $20 on Amazon[/link-button]

7. Urban Decay Naked Eyeshadow Palette

The right blend of eyeshadow can look downright magical. Whether you go for neutral or dramatic colors, there’s nothing more flattering than a shade that stands out, lasts the entire day, and won’t won’t smudge into creases. But a good palette no longer means a $54 dent in your budget.

“The naked palette from Urban Decaywhich I do likeseems to be the only pallet most [people] seem to think is available,” says New York celebrity makeup artist, Chris Lanston, who’s worked with James Van Der Beek and Robin Thicke. As it turns out, though, there are many others to choose from.

Try Instead: NYX Professional Makeup Ultimate Shadow Packet

Going out for the night? The 16 rich shades in this set range from mattes and metallics to shimmers and satins for a mesmerizing finish.

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Amazon

Create a sultry, bold look for under $20!

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/NYX-PROFESSIONAL-Ultimate-Palette-Neutrals/dp/B01IW02HX2″]NYX Professional Makeup Ultimate Shadow Palette, $15.48 on Amazon[/link-button]

8. Marc Jacobs Re(Marc)Able Full Cover Foundation Concentrate

The first rule about wearing foundation: You never want to feel it on you. And this is especially true if you’re acne-prone or have an oily complexion. While Marc Jacobs is widely buzzed about, its formula doesn’t fare well on all skin types.

Try Instead: Estée Lauder Double Wear Stay-In-Place Foundation

Wear it in hot or humid weather for coverage that goes above and beyond. Just a few dabs go a long way, and unlike other foundations, this one is definitely worth the cost. 

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Sephora

Wear it for flawless matte coverage that’s both lightweight and comfortable to wear all day. Perfect when traveling or those all-day meetings.

[link-button href=”https://www.sephora.com/product/double-wear-stay-in-place-makeup-P378284″]Estée Lauder Double Wear Stay-In-Place Foundation, $42 from Sephora[/link-button]

9. Charlotte Tilbury Instant Hollywood False-Lash Effect Mascara

Rather than pay $32 for a tube that might smudge under your eyes in a matter of hours, switch over to a mascara that costs less than your daily latte and leaves virtually no flakes.

Try Instead: L’Oréal Volume-Building Mascara

Rest easy knowing your dramatic look won’t end in a clumpy disaster by smoothing out lashes with this allergy-tested formula.

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Amazon

This mascara is also fragrance-free and recommended for sensitive eyes or contact-lens wearers.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004BCXAM8″]L’Oréal Volume-Building Mascara, $5.55 on Amazon[/link-button]

10. BECCA Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed Highlighter

If you’re not a fan of the glittery Twilight look, Becca’s shimmering pressed highlighter may not be for you. But that shouldn’t stop you from having lush, luminous skin.

Try Instead: NARS Illuminator

This light reflecting liquid casts quite the spell with its ultra-weightless texture. The subtle formula will make any winter skin look alive.

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Amazon

Wear it as a highlighter, or mix it in with your favorite foundation for a gorgeous touch of shimmer that won’t startle your friends.

[link-button href=”https://www.sephora.com/product/illuminator-P284301″]NARS Illuminator, $30 from Sephora[/link-button]

11. Tarte Shape Tape Concealer

Here’s a truth: I can’t live without my concealer. If I had to choose one and only one item to take with me on a trip, the right concealer is a close tie with my faithful eyeliner. There’s nothing a good concealer can’t do—hide dark circles, even out skin tone, and, more importantly, give you that elusive well-rested look. For this reason, you want a formula that gives you coverage without looking too obvious.

Try Instead: NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer

While pricier than Tarte’s Shape Tape, this long-wearing and crease-proof formula layers easily without caking.

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Amazon

And unlike other overhyped concealers, this one won’t make your skin break out.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/NARS-Radiant-Creamy-Concealer-Vanilla/dp/B00BM1WKT0″]NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer, from $38.07 on Amazon[/link-button]

12. Lipstick Queen Frog Prince Lipstick

If shade-transforming lipstick is your thing, why not opt for one that won’t cost you $25? Queen Frog Prince gets a lot of buzz, but there are more budget-friendly alternatives that have the exact same concept.

Try Instead: Barry M Genie Color Change Lip Paint

For less than half the price, watch your lips magically turn from green to a long-lasting shade of pink.

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Amazon

Aside from getting your shade-changing fix, this lip paint actually stays on for a solid eight hours!

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Barry-Cosmetics-Genie-Colour-Change/dp/B00KOOXCNY”]Barry M Genie Color Change Lip Paint, $5.99 on Amazon[/link-button]

13. Handy Mixture Nylon & Boar Bristle Hair Brush by Mason Pearson

Finding the right hairbrush for your texture can give you a completely new look and also protect your hair’s health. But fear not; you don’t have to spend $150 to tame your unruly mane.

Try Instead: Wigo Cushion 100 Percent Boar Bristle Brush

Whatever your hair length (but especially for longer hair), WIGO’s bristles will give you that added smoothness.

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Amazon

Try it for an extra-sleek blowout on medium to thin strands.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Wigo-Cushion-100-Bristle-Brush/dp/B0089WSAFI”]Wigo Cushion 100% Boar Bristle Brush, $19.95 on Amazon[/link-button]

14. Clinique Almost Lipstick – Black Honey

There’s nothing worse than falling in love with a lipstick shade only to have it end up chapping your lips—it’s almost perfect, but not good enough. If you’re not thrilled with Clinique’s formula (or price, at around $20 per tube), we’ve found a smoother-looking alternative.

Try Instead: Oh Sugar! Tinted Lip Balm Soda

The name alone sounds yummy. Infused with grapeseed oil and avocado butter, it’s like therapy for your lips (no, not that kind—whatcha thinkin’?).

HealthyWay
Amazon

Get your favorite shade in a nourishing balm for only a fraction of the cost!

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/COVERGIRL-Colorlicious-Sugar-Tinted-packaging/dp/B01CS5WCNM”]Oh Sugar! Tinted Lip Balm Soda, $5.39 on Amazon[/link-button]

15. Anastasia Beverly Hills DIPBROW Pomade

Obsessed with those ultra-defined brows you see all over social media? We feel you. A good pomade can give you that dramatic flair, but make sure the texture doesn’t dry out.

Try Instead: Milani Stay Put Brow Color

Compared to DIPBROW’S $18 pomade, with Milani you get a creamy, waterproof texture that stays moist for longer.

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Amazon

Pro tip: Try it in dark brown for a more natural finish.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Milani-Color-Brunette-Ounce-Packaging/dp/B00ZTFXF8K”]Milani Stay Put Brow Color, $6.47 on Amazon[/link-button]

16. Kat Von D Tattoo Liner Liquid Eyeliner

When it comes to liquid liners, you want a pencil that’s not going to smudge or fade after applying. While Kat Von D works great for many, others have found it streakier than they’d like.

Try Instead: Rimmel London Color Precise Eyeliner

Create precise lines or thick dramatic looks with Rimmel’s sweat and humidity-proof pencil. The liner glides on smoothly and gives you a flawless look that won’t budge.

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Amazon

Pro tip: For smoldering, smokey eyes, Lanston suggests using an old black pencil liner after burning the pencil wax for three seconds.

“Let it cool and apply,” Langston says. “It stays on all day and [is] super dark.”

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/RIMMEL-LONDON-Color-Precise-Eyeliner/dp/B01N8PNE41″]Rimmel London Color Precise Eyeliner, $23.84 on Amazon[/link-button]

17. Urban Decay All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray

We get it. You’ve heard the hype and find yourself tempted by the allure of avoiding makeup meltdown. But as it turns out, you can get the exact same value as All Nighter without dishing out $32.

Try Instead: Elf Makeup Mist & Set Spray

With just a few sprays, Elf’s refreshing formula (made with aloe, green tea, and cucumber) will give your makeup staying power and hydrate your skin. Just hold the bottle at arm’s length and lightly mist over your makeup.

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Amazon

Bonus: Elf’s cosmetics are all cruelty-free and vegan—so you can also feel good about wearing them.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/l-f-Makeup-Mist-Clear-Ounce/dp/B004X1QY20″]Elf Makeup Mist & Set Spray, from $7.99 on Amazon[/link-button]

18. Too Faced Born This Way Liquid Foundation

Unless you have ultra-dry skin, you might find Born This Way on the greasier (and orangey) side. No worries, though. If you’re on the hunt for a long-wear foundation that will give you more value for your buck, we’ve got you covered.

Try Instead: Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Weightless Foundation SPF 15

More than anything, what you want is your skin to breathe and for any foundation to feel weightless or “barely there.” This ultra-silky formula will not only stay on for an astounding 16 hours, it won’t crease, and it will withstand humidity.

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Sephora

The foundation is also formulated without parabens or sulfates, and is ideal for normal to oily skin types. Well, I’m sold.

[link-button href=”https://www.sephora.com/product/skin-long-wear-weightless-foundation-spf-15-P427430?icid2%3Dproducts%2520grid:p427430:product”]Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Weightless Foundation, $46 from Sephora[/link-button]

19. Kylie Cosmetics Lip Kit

Anything Kylie Jenner is a bit overrated,” Lanston says, “but I give her credit for living her best life.”

We agree! Lanston adds that we can easily find the same value (and a similar formula) while also paying less.

Try Instead: Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick

Weightless and highly pigmented, this creamy lipstick gives you intense color without drying out your lips.

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Amazon

It’s also enriched with vitamin and avocado oil for added softness and hydration. We recommend pairing your smokey eyes with Stila’s nude Angelo shade.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/stila-Stay-Liquid-Lipstick-Patina/dp/B06W9F6PCX?th%3D1″]Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick, $22 on Amazon[/link-button]

20. Physicians Formula Powder Palette Mineral Glow Pearls

Certain highlighting products with extreme high-beam power, like Physicians Formula PearlI believecan make you look like a landing strip at night at an airport,” says Lanston. He recommends using more subtle highlighters you can build on, with lots of options for shades.

Try Instead: NYX Highlight & Contour Palette

After putting on your foundation, use the palette to enhance features like your cheekbones, nose, and jawline. First, apply the deeper (darker) powders to any spot you’d like to shade and define, and then add the lighter highlighting colors on areas to emphasize.

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Amazon

Pro tip: Use it for perfecting a dramatic brow.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/NYX-Professional-Highlight-Contour-Palette/dp/B00TKJO1RK”]NYX Highlight & Contour Palette, $17.39 on Amazon[/link-button]

Categories
Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

Learn How To Decode Your Partner's Mood

Here’s a confession: I am a mind reader. That’s right, I can glance at my partner and delve deep into his feelings with just one look. I am also able to accurately interpret and detect an array of emotions based on body cues, perceived thoughts, and the phases of the moon.

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Kyaw Tun

Okayso I’m not actually a bonafide mind reader (in spite of how much I try!). The fact is, none of us are—and piecing together the clues can be even harder when it comes to our significant other.
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Chris Palomar

While our familiarity with each other can offer insight into their changing moods—we shouldn’t try to gauge how our partner’s feeling based on assumptions alone. According to psychologists, taking the time to understand and communicate effectively is the best way to increase our empathy and sense of closeness. However, the first, and most important thing to keep in mind, according to experts, is this:

It’s not all about you.

If your partner is withdrawing, in a funk, or refusing to interact with you, the reason is probably more complicated than it seems, says Amy McManus, a licensed therapist in Los Angeles who focuses on helping millennials with anxiety and relationship issues.

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Eddie Kopp

“Often we assume our partner is mad at us, and we immediately get defensive,” she says. This can make you start arguing about something that might not be the real issue at all, which consequently makes it impossible to solve the actual problem.
An interesting study published earlier this year dug into this exact dilemma. Researchers found that while couples do well at picking up on when their partner is happy, they might be missing out on other more subtle emotional clues.
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“We found that when it comes to the normal ebb and flow of daily emotions, couples aren’t picking up on those occasional changes in ‘soft negative’ emotions like sadness or feeling down,” said family psychologist Chrystyna D. Kouros, the lead author on the study. She also noted that regularly failing to pick up on these negative feelings can cause a cumulative effect, ultimately leading to problems within the relationship over time.

Assumptions can be relationship killers.

While many of us are proud of our honed mind-reading abilities, this is a big no-no according to Kouros, who emphasized that couples should stop assuming they know what their partner is feeling and alternatively pay more attention to each other and communicate more.

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Crystal I. Lee, PsyD, a Los Angeles licensed psychologist, echoes this. She explains that while one partner may incorrectly assume the other is feeling a certain way, this can lead the other to react in an unhelpful manner. For example, if you assume that your partner is upset about something you feel they shouldn’t be (and they’re not), “it might cause you to get angry or frustrated with themwhich in turn, actually makes them upset, and then it develops into a fight” (pretty sure we’ve all been here before).
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Luke Ellis-Craven

But aside from deterring this unhelpful habit, Erik Pedersen, PsyD, a psychologist from Morgan Hill, California, urges us to take a closer look at our interior motivations. “More often, we are trying to intuit or make assumptions about what the other is feeling because the relationship is unstable and insecure,” he says. Whereas, in the opposite sense—when a relationship is stable and secure—we don’t have to assume what the other is feeling.

Stop and listen to your partner.

“One of the biggest things I tell my clients,” says Lee, “is that you should be listening to understand, not to respond.” Don’t listen with the goal of figuring out what you want to say or how to tear apart their opinion or how to catch them in a lie, she says. Also refrain from jumping in with rebuttals, opinions, and judgments until you really understand your partner’s point of view.

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Travis Jones

Similarly, McManus affirms that if you are the listener, your role is simple: “Seek to understand. Stay curious. Listen.”
You can always ask questions to clarify, just be careful that you don’t try to defend yourself. Always remember that listening doesn’t mean you are agreeing with your partner’s conclusions; you are simply acknowledging that their feelings are valid and worthy of being heard.
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Manki Kim

Also, keep in mind the importance of giving your partner eye contact and waiting to respond, says Mary Silver, MSW, a certified life coach from Denver, Colorado. If you wait for around two to three seconds after they are done speaking, your response will be more tailored to them and not a knee-jerk reaction.

Pay attention to voice and tone.

If someone is happy and receptive, they will have a playfulness in their voice, explains Silver. “You will also notice it in their body language.”

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In regards to tone of voice, it can be very subtle; there may be a little bit of sarcasm in someone’s voice if they are feeling a little irritated or “off.” Check in with your partner in a non-confrontational way to get a sense of their needs.
If their voice or tone is a little quieter, Silver says, they are likely in a reflective state; meaning they need to check in with themselves about how they are feeling or thinking about a situation (so it’s probably not a good idea to mention another topic like paying the bills).
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Nik MacMillan

If your partner seems distracted and avoids eye contact, this does not mean they are not interested in you, Silver says. “A good tip to someone in this case is to ask your partner if they have a moment to talk with no interruptions.” You may notice that after asking this question, both you and your partner can cultivate a sense of respect for each other and the topic at hand if you put in the extra effort.

Practice direct communication.

Consider that we are always communicating. Even when we’re not talking, we’re still communicating in a variety of ways. Sometimes we even communicate contradictory messages, explains Pedersen. “The more time devoted specifically to ‘direct communication,’ the less ambiguity, and the more clarity,” he says.

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Alex Holyoake

What happens when you stop communicating and put the relationship on the shelf? The big four: resentment, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. “If you have all four of these, Pedersen adds, “it’s usually time to call it done.” Research backs up his assertion, as studies have shown that these telltale signs can predict divorce with over 90 percent accuracy.
Renowned psychologist John Gottman, who founded the Gottman Institute, identified both contempt and stonewalling as significant contributors to marital malaise.
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Zoriana Stakhniv

If you and your partner find yourselves on this thorny path, take heart—it’s not too late to backtrack. Experts have identified the following skills that can help couples communicate more directly:

Listen actively.

Simply put, during the “active listening” process, one partner talks and one partner listens.
If you are the “talking partner,” you use “I” statements without blaming or criticizing, says McManus. You say things like, “I feel frustrated that I have to clean up a big mess in the kitchen again,” or “I feel worried that your friends are more important to you than I am.”

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Harli Marten

These statements show solid ownership of your own emotions and do not place blame on the other person.
McManus cautions against saying things like “I think you are being passive-aggressive when you say you will do something and you don’t do it.” Similarly, avoid anything that starts with “I think that you… .”
A variation of this is “I feel ____ when you do ____.” This is valid; you aren’t blaming them directly, but it will be hard for the other person to remain neutral and not try to defend themselves. It’s better to say something like, “I feel worried when I don’t know what time you are coming home from hanging out with your friends.”

Don’t be afraid to ask!

If you are unclear as to how your partner is feeling, the best approach is to ask them. This would be in the form of being curious and supportive, not blaming or being defensive, says Silver. “It’s important to know what state of mind you are going into the conversation with.”

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David Iskander

If you are feeling sad, low, or a little wounded, it’s very likely you will bring this to a discussion. “Using ‘I’ statements and being open, transparent, and vulnerable will help your partner know what you are feeling and needing out of the interaction,” she explains. “It may be that you just need a hug.”
Silver recommends allowing your partner to know what you need. If you don’t know what you need, explain that as well.

Learn each other’s emotional histories.

Life is both joyful and painful, and we are all conditioned by painful experiences. Pedersen insists: “It is always best to know of what painful experiences your partner’s ‘emotional truth’ is constructed.”

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Kevin Laminto

He recommends couples take long hours sharing their history with each other. “Really open up about mom and dad, trauma, doubts, and insecurities,” he says. “Try to become as transparent as possible.”
“If you don’t learn about your partner’s history of conditioned pain, then you will have to learn about it through conflict—which sucks,” Pedersen asserts. Knowing about their pain informs your response. If you find yourself in the midst of an argument, he suggests asking your partner where they have had this feeling in their life before.
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Janko Ferlič

Part of this involves cultivating our own sense of understanding and compassion. “Knowing that your partner spent four hours waiting for their parent to call and wondering if they ever would when they were just 7 years old,” Pedersen points out, “may easily explain why they became so hurt and angry when you neglected to text this evening.” This creates a map that is useful in times of conflict, as understanding their history makes it easier not to feel personally attacked and validates why they would be upset.
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Alvin Mahmudov

Ultimately, decoding our partner’s moods requires we take an active, empathetic interest in the inner world of our significant other. As Pedersen puts it, “It’s useful for couples to look at their partner and ask themselves, ‘Who is this being?’ After all, a relationship takes place in the here and now, never in the past or future.”

Categories
Favorite Finds Motherhood

20 Cleaning Hacks To Make Every Mom’s Life Easier

Becoming a parent is like living on a whole other planet. On the one hand, you have to navigate taking care of a small human, and on the other hand, you’re trying to keep up with the demands of a home that’s not going to clean itself. Balancing the two is where things start to get tricky.
Before I had my son, cleaning up was relegated to weekends and only took up to a few hours tops. I didn’t fully grasp how hard it would be to do this with an adorable toddler running amuck all over the house. Case in point: Their hands are always sticky, and they love to leave a trail of toys behind them (I’m looking at you, building blocks).

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Cleaning up messes a bajillion times a day can get exhausting, to say the least.
Luckily, the internet is here and ready to make our lives easier by providing a plethora of creative parenting hacks to pick and choose from. In the time I spent researching this article, for example, I texted my husband a minimum of five times with screenshots of different hacks we needed to try (thank you, wise redditors).
Below are 20 of my favorites to help busy moms clean, organize, and—hopefully—prevent messes before they even begin.
So sit back, put your feet up, and prepare to be awed.

1. Stay calm and remove crayon from your walls.

This is first on our list because there’s nothing quite like finishing up a day of deep cleaning to find your child has drawn their latest masterpiece all over your walls (been here too many times to count). Before you go into a full blown panic attack, rest easy knowing that there is a safe, non-toxic way to remove crayon from your walls.

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We owe our endless thanks to one savvy redditor who discovered the magic solution to removing these pesky lines: Combine 1 tablespoon of coconut oil with 1/8 teaspoon of lemon essential oil. Not only will you breathe a sigh of relief, it will leave your home smelling so fresh and so clean.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/US-Organic-100-Lemon-Essential/dp/B073NS9CNQ”]US Organic’s 100% Pure Lemon Essential Oil, $9.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

2. Organize your kid’s artwork using a drying rack.

As a mother to a miniature painting aficionado (aka toddler), I know firsthand how coloring pages can end up all over your living room floor and pretty much anywhere that’s been recently tidied. Picking up strewn coloring pages gets annoying, let me tell you.

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But all of this seemingly unmanageable mess can be easily remedied with one specific item: your average drying rack. Rubbermaid’s Large White Dish Drainer’s coated wire cushions are great for placing coloring books and loose pages. You can also use the caddy for storing markers and crayons.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0044URHD0″]Rubbermaid’s Large White Dish Drainer, $17.73 from Amazon[/link-button]

3. Wash baby clothes in mesh lingerie bags.

Babies have the teeniest, tiniest of clothes that love to get tangled (and lost) in your washing machine and dryer. More specifically: baby socks and hand mittens (where on earth do they go?).

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Luckily, there’s a simple way to keep these delicates from tearing or disappearing altogether. Place these itty bitty clothing items in mesh lingerie bags and then toss them into the washing machine without worry. Gogooda’s Mesh Laundry Bags for Delicates are exactly what you need. You get seven different sizes, which also comes in handy when washing your child’s beloved (yet stinky) teddy bear.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Gogooda-Laundry-Bags-Delicates-Underwear/dp/B075YV41GQ”]Gogooda’s Mesh Laundry Bags for Delicates, $8.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

4. Pick up glitter with your lint roller.

Ah, childhood, that magical time when small humans spread sparkly powder all over their families’ furniture and clothes. While we love our children’s artwork, we’re not a big fan of the glitter cleanup.

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Fortunately, the Extra Sticky Lint Roller Set is here to save you hours of cleaning (and added headache). Use it for easy glitter pick-up and for collecting those tiny pieces of paper from craft projects. The set comes with three refills of 60 sheets each to make cleanups a breeze. Additional bonus: You can remove all those food crumbs from your child’s car seat (finally!).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Sticky-Refills-Cleaner-Remover-Durable/dp/B07DVYKWNF”]Extra Sticky Lint Roller Set, $5.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

5. A Genius Way to Clean Up All Your Kid’s Toys

You have to love a hack that is so obvious you don’t know why you didn’t think of it before. Washing your child’s toys of all those yucky germs is tiresome and time-consuming (they’re going to get dirty again STAT).

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Throwing them in your dishwasher gets all of this work done with minimal effort on your part.
And if you’re worried about using harmful chemicals on toys that will (most likely) wind up in your kiddos’ mouths, fear not: Sparkle Clean by True Green Organics offers a non-toxic dishwasher detergent that’s eco-safe and 100 percent organic.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/True-Green-Organics-Ingredients-Concentrated/dp/B0711WHLCQ”]Sparkle Clean by True Green Organics, $16.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

6. Get rid of food-coloring stains with this clever trick.

For my son’s first birthday, we had studio pictures taken of him sticking his angelical face into a very large, blue smash cake (side note: These are spectacularly fun and something every parent should try!). However, getting the blue food coloring off his tiny face and hands was a challenge. Needless to say, water and soap alone weren’t cutting it.

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Thankfully, we can all continue our colorful baking projects without stress—simply squirt a little whitening toothpaste onto the stain and massage the area for two minutes. Then wash off and repeat as necessary. 
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Crest-White-Whitening-Toothpaste-Radiant/dp/B075S6RJTQ”]Crest 3D White Whitening Toothpaste, $10.49 from Amazon[/link-button]

7. A magical pacifier that stays clean.

Who doesn’t love the ease of calming a crying baby with a pacifier? What we don’t love so much: Worrying about all those yucky (and scary) germs considering baby’s favorite pacifier gets dropped all over the place. If only there was some magical pacifier that would close when hitting the floor. Well, you’re in luck, because such an item exists!

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The RaZbaby Keep-It-Kleen Rosa Penguin Pacifier will not only save you the hassle of having to constantly clean these tiny (yet necessary) objects, but they also come in all kinds of jazzy colors and stylish designs for you to pick and choose from.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/RaZbaby-Kleen-Pacifier-Penguin-Months/dp/B007P5IKSW”]RaZbaby Keep-It-Kleen Rosa Penguin Pacifier, $6.44 from Amazon[/link-button]

8. This instant stain remover is your new BFF.

Taking your kids on a picnic or out for dinner? Expect disaster to strike.
Just kidding…sort of.

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Let’s face it: Children have the uncanny ability to spill any and all things onto their clothes. And sometimes these are brand new clothes you artfully arranged before leaving the house (sigh). So what’s a busy mom to do when faced with this dreadfully common scenario?
Enter: Instant Stain Remover by Tide. This powerful little pen helps you get some of the toughest fresh food and drink stains out before they set in. It’s also super portable so you can stash one away in your purse for easy access.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Tide-Pack-Stain-Remover-Instant/dp/B01JH0TY3M”]Tide Instant Stain Remover $24.99, from Amazon[/link-button]

9. A Smarter Way for Messy Snacking

Speaking of stains, why not avoid them altogether by dipping your child in a bath while eating their popsicles, ice cream cones, or peanut butter? Place these gooey snacks in a cup and keep them secured on a bath caddy. This way, they can enjoy a yummy treat without all the added mess.

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Try out Hermosa Collection Kids Bathtub Storage Basket, which easily adjusts to fit most tubs. Bonus: The caddy doubles as a way to keep your kid’s toys and bath products organized.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Hermosa-Collection-Kids-Organizer-Bathtub/dp/B01E1XQ7IU”]Hermosa Collection Kids Bathtub Storage Basket, $19.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

10. A Portable Placemat That Catches Messes

I’m a big believer in avoiding cleanups by preventing them in the first place. That’s why I was thrilled to come across Benedict Harry’s Reusable Silicone Baby Food Placemat. Take it anywhere and the built-in scoop compartment catches the mess as it falls always. This means you’ll spend less time cleaning up fallen foods from the floor (which comes especially handy when eating out) and more time enjoying your meal.

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The placemat is also made out of hygienic material that prevents mold growth and bacteria, so you can rest easy knowing your little one isn’t eating off a germy surface. Roll it up and take it on the go!
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.ca/Reusable-Silicone-Placemat-Reusable-Restaurant/dp/B07F9MT81W”]Benedict Harry’s Reusable Silicone Placemat, $14.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

11. Create a water-resistant outdoor play table.

Have a wooden picnic table you don’t want getting stained by art supplies? Rather than fret over potential spillage, try covering it with oilcloth to protect against paint leaks.

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My little one (the painting aficionado) pretty much always ends up with finger paint all over his palms. Oilcloth is a simple remedy for having to wash paint off of indoor and outdoor furniture. It also doubles as protection against messy snacks and water games.
Bonus: Use it for fast cleanups when working on baking projects.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06Y3HKWJS”]Blue Cherry Oilcloth Fabric, $7 from Amazon[/link-button]

12. Wipe away dirty pots and pans in a breeze.

It’s no surprise no one likes to do the dishes—but even worse? DIRTY POTS AND PANS. I’ve had my fair share of scrub-filled afternoons that could have been easily avoided with this life-changing hack. According to Mike Sphor at Buzzfeed, placing a dryer sheet in a dirty pan before soaking overnight will make it easy to wipe away the baked-on crust in the morning.

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Bounce Fabric Softener Sheets will help you do the trick, and they also provide a gentle, hypoallergenic fabric-softening option for your clothes.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Bounce-Fabric-Softener-Sheets-Gentle/dp/B003CP14R8″]Bounce Fabric Softener Sheets, $9.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

13. Prevent gooey popsicle messes.

My sweet munchkin of a toddler loves popsicles. Problem is, as soon as I place one in his tiny eager hands, it’s already melting away onto his palms, shirt, and pants.

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Fortunately, there’s an incredibly simple solution to this problem and you can find it right inside your cupboard: Push the popsicle stick through the center of a cupcake liner before handing it to your kid. Easy peasy.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/STARUBY-Cupcake-Colorful-Disposable-Standard/dp/B07CWKVQQZ”]STARUBY Cupcake Liners, $6.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

14. Simply Clean: A Book for All Your Organizing Needs

Whether you’re a working mom or a stay at home mom (or, like me, some hybrid of the two)—you probably want to spend less time cleaning and more time with your little one.

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Becky Rapinchuk, author of Simply Clean understands this long-standing dilemma and offers us an easy-to-use guide for cleaning our homes in just 10 minutes a day (no joke). But more than simply tidying up, she teaches us to transform a chore into a habit that we can pass on to our kids.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Simply-Clean-Keeping-Organized-Beautiful/dp/1501158791″]Simply Clean by Becky Rapinchuk, $13.59 from Amazon[/link-button]

15. Keep laundry (and the rest of your life) smelling fresh.

Nothing is more delightful than opening a drawer full of clothes and having the fresh scent of lavender waft all over the room. Your own DIY sachets are perfect for keeping kids’ clothes and gym bags smelling fresh. Just put in a few dried lavender leaves dotted with essential oil in a mesh bag and voila!

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Bonus: Keep one in your car for some much-needed aromatherapy.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/HRX-Package-Organza-Wedding-Drawstring/dp/B073J4RS9C”]HRX Package Gift Drawstring Bags, $9.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

16. Peroxide is your friend.

As a non-toxic, all-natural chemical, hydrogen peroxide can perform countless wonders that range from disinfecting food prep surfaces to getting rid of burnt spots on pots and pans to—you guessed it—cleaning kids’ toys!

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Harness the power of peroxide by filling a large bucket with just enough peroxide to cover the toys. Toss the toys in and let them fizz and bubble. After they stop bubbling, take them out and let them dry.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Swan-Hydrogen-Peroxide-Topical-Ounces/dp/B004Q2GEVW”]Two pack of Swan Hydrogen Peroxide, $9.40 from Amazon[/link-button]

17. A Chore Chart for Fun Cleanups

As they say: The best defense is a good offense. In other words, let the kids in on the housecleaning action! Create good habits by teaching your small humans the importance of a clean and tidy home. The Roscoe Learning Responsibility Star Chart can help you make it a fun experience by giving kids a visual reward system that they can work toward achieving.

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The board keeps track of progress on chores and can easily be hung in any room. It also comes with reward stars that will take you back to your own childhood (who didn’t get a star on their forehead as a kid?).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Roscoe-Learning-Responsibility-Customize-Magnetic/dp/B01FKFMFXE”]Learning Responsibility Star Chart, $19.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

18. This Instant DIY Home-Freshener

Got a stinky-smelling house and guests arriving any minute? Don’t panic, redditor jimothywhite gives us this fabulous tip: “Put two caps full of vanilla extract (you can use other oils, such as lemon and lavender) in a coffee cup (or oven-proof dish), then place it in the oven at 300 degrees for one hour. The smell will start to spread after around 20 minutes and encompass the whole house after the hour duration. Should last for at least a day.”

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(A note of caution for pet-owners: Essential oils can pose a risk to our furry friends, especially for cats who can have an adverse respiratory reaction upon inhaling them.)
Pro tip: Switch them out during the changing seasons, for example, nutmeg oil for Halloween and cinnamon for a cozy Christmas scent.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Vanilla-Essential-Oil-Fabulous-Frannie/dp/B00BKQIMBC”]Fabulous Frannie’s Vanilla Essential Oil, $6.50 from Amazon[/link-button]

19. Remove stickers with this clever trick.

Confession: As a child, I collected all manner of stickers. I picked them up from road trips, those little toy machines at malls, and pretty much everywhere you can imagine. That’s right, I was that kid. But I also took it a step further and stuck all of these treasures on my wooden drawer cabinet. When it came time for my parents to sell it, there was no way these suckers were coming off. If only they’d known about this one small miracle hack: coconut oil.

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According to Melissa Maker at Fisher-Price, you can “mix equal parts coconut oil and baking soda to create a paste to remove stubborn stickers.”
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Viva-Naturals-Organic-Virgin-Coconut/dp/B00DS842HS”]Viva Naturals Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, $13.28 from Amazon[/link-button]

20. Baby Wipes: The Mother of All Hacks

You know how in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the father of the bride-to-be is always using Windex as a cure-all for everything—ranging from glassware to a random pimple? That’s how I feel about baby wipes. Basically, there is nothing they can’t do.
Here are just a few of the things you can do with these multi-purpose wipes to make your life easier: Wipe off dust, get rid of deodorant marks on your clothes, use for quick oil stains, clean your kid’s toys, and sanitize germ-ridden public areas.

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We love Pampers Aqua Sensitive Water Baby Wipes, which are free of alcohols, dyes, and fragrances. Aside from cleanups, you can also use them on your little one without worrying about irritants.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Pampers-Water-Based-Diaper-Pop-Top-Travel/dp/B077D3JKVR”]Pampers Aqua Sensitive Water Baby Wipes, $14.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

Categories
Favorite Finds Wellbeing

These 43 Eco-Friendly Products Will Help You Save The Planet

Plastic is everywhere. It’s the tip of your fingertips when you’re typing or when holding your beloved toothbrush. We’re bombarded by its presence in our homes, our offices, and pretty much wherever we turn.
There’s no denying our impact on the planet—according to Eco Watch, we’ve produced more plastic in the last ten years than during the whole of the last century. And half of the plastic we do use, we discard after only one use. This means that every day, millions of straws, plastic bags and utensils are ending up in our landfills and oceans, destroying wildlife and polluting mother nature.
One of the best ways to fight this epidemic is by replacing some of the plastic products we already buy and swapping them out for greener alternatives. We’ve put together a list of 43 environmentally friendly products that will reduce your carbon footprint and help eliminate all those single-use plastic products you buy on the regular. While we can’t change the world overnight, making these small, simple changes to our own habits will make a difference in the long-term.

1. Save the planet one straw at a time.

You’ve probably heard that plastic straws are on their way out (Seattle is the first major U.S. city to flat out ban them), but this doesn’t mean you have to give straws up altogether. Biodegradable and reusable options like BIKO Bamboo’s Natural Bamboo Drinking Straws can help curb our dependence on wasteful plastics and ultimately modify the way we consume.

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These straws make a great replacement and are more durable (in my opinion) than the paper ones. Or, if you prefer, you can also opt for the stainless steel variety.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Bamboo-Eco-Friendly-Sustainable-Biodegradable-BIKO/dp/B07DCDVHWM”]Get it from Amazon for $10.99[/link-button]

2. A Stylish Bag for the Environmentally Conscious

Just because you’re trying to save the world doesn’t mean you have to relinquish style! Swap out all those troublesome plastic bags for this set of three Earthwise Deluxe Reusable Grocery Bags.

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Not only are they conveniently built for all your shopping needs, their large capacity and sturdy walls make them perfect for a day at the beach or that long overdue picnic. What’s not to love here?
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01D3OONDE”]Get it on Amazon for $21.97[/link-button]

3. Hydrate with this tough-as-nails water bottle.

Don’t be fooled by its sleek design—this eco-friendly water bottle is as tough as it is stylish. The Bogi 20oz Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle also happens to be scratch resistant and leak proof. Toss it in your gym bag or backpack without fear—it’ll go the distance.

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The lightweight bottle also comes in an array of colors for your every mood and will keep your drinks cool for 24 hours and hot for 12. Bonus: It comes with a handy sports straw cap for easy flip and drink.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/BOGI-Bottle-Scratch-Resistance-Eco-Friendly-Brush-1Year/dp/B075Z13H7P”]Get it on Amazon for $12.99.[/link-button]

4. Plastic-free trash bags, oh my!

Raise your hand if you’re puzzled by what to do with ALL your trash without the handy (albeit harmful) convenience of plastic. Fortunately for us, a safe, biodegradable alternative exists with UNNI ASTM D6400 100% Compostable Bags.

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Made from the starches of plants, these bags are a win-win: durable and good for the environment (if only we’d used these to begin with).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B013XRVNJS”]Get it on Amazon for $15.95.[/link-button]

5. This Earth-Friendly Pen and Pencil Combo

Looking for guilt-free pens and pencils that come in recycled packaging? Well, look no further! Help raise green awareness by using the ONYX+GREEN Gel Twist Pen & Mechanical Lead Pencil Combo Set at the office or at home.

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Each purchase comes with two packs that are made from bamboo and other sustainable materials.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/ONYX-GREEN-Gel-Twist-Medium/dp/B0789RD4F9/”]Get it on Amazon for $15.95.[/link-button]

6. A Smarter Way to Get Your Coffee Fix

Coffee aficionados everywhere can rejoice—reduce your carbon footprint by swapping out those pesky paper filters for the iPartsPlusMore Reusable K Cups Coffee Filters.

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Not only are they easy to use and fit seamlessly into any Keurig brewer, they’re also 100 percent dishwasher-safe, so you can now have your coffee and drink it too.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00LGEKOMS”]Get it on Amazon for $10.85.[/link-button]

7. Jot down all your notes with this reusable notebook.

Instead of wasting an endless amount of paper jotting down notes you eventually toss out, why not erase and write as you go? The Rocketbook Everlast Reusable Smart Notebook allows you to do exactly that: Its 36 reusable pages wipe clean with a damp cloth when used with Pilot FriXion pens.

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Now all you need to do is swap out your tattered notebook for this elegant, environmentally friendly design.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06ZXWVZ3X”]Get it on Amazon for $29.97.[/link-button]

8. A Watch After Your Own Heart

Keeping track of time has never been sleeker than with this beautifully handcrafted Original Grain Wood Wrist Watch.

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Their classic collection is sustainably sourced, featuring natural mahogany from Central Africa. But the delicate design doesn’t just look pretty, it’s also water and scratch resistant so it won’t scrape easily.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00MGYCJ1Q”]Get it on Amazon for $239.[/link-button]

9. Batteries You Can Use Again and Again

Rather than pollute our landfills with toxic chemicals, AmazonBasics AA High-Capacity Rechargeable Batteries has given us a smarter way to use our electronics.

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Their 8-pack of batteries are pre-charged using solar energy and will stay that way even after being stored for up to 3 years. In the meantime, the good folks over at Business Insider offer a few tips on how to dispose of all your old batteries.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00HZV9WTM”]Get it on Amazon for $18.99.[/link-button]

10. These delightful utensils don’t harm the planet.

You no longer have to drag out the heavy silver every time you have a family BBQ—this Wooden Cutlery By First Choice makes being an environmentally-friendly host easier than ever. Their 300-piece set of disposable utensils are as smooth as they are strong, and get this: They’re 100 percent biodegradable.

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First Choice also donates a portion of its annual net profits to non-profit environmental organizations, so break them out at your next party without worry.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XMRHGPW”]Get it on Amazon for $18.75.[/link-button]

11. A Glass Meal Container You Can’t Do Without

Who doesn’t have a bazillion food containers stuffed in their cabinets? Fortunately, we can easily swap out our plastics for greener options like these Bento Box 3-Pack Glass Food Containers. Keep your food airtight and leak-proof in their non-toxic, stain-proof glassware.

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Reviewers say they’re smitten with the container’s perfect size and convenient use—they’re perfect for bringing lunch to the office!
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B075FC8NFF”]Get it on Amazon for $28.99.[/link-button]

12. This Earth-Friendly Cleaning Kit

Many popular cleaning products are a double negative for the planet (plastic bottles full of toxic chemicals), but it doesn’t have to be this way. Greener options like the JAWS (Just Add Water System) Home Cleaning Kit give us everything we need: an easy-to-use, non-toxic, remarkable way to clean.

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Each kit comes with a cleaner for your kitchen, glass, hardwood floor, and shower (this includes an empty bottle, sprayer, and two refill pods).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/JAWS-Included-Non-toxic-Eco-friendly-Products/dp/B005XM27MY”]Get it on Amazon for $19.99.[/link-button]

13. This Stylish, Reusable Coffee Cup

Swapping out plastics for greener alternatives means making small conscious choices every day. If you’ve been using those disposable styrofoam cups in the morning, for instance, opt instead for the KeepCup 16oz Reusable Coffee Cup. Its splash-proof, sealable lid makes it an easy choice for taking it on the go.

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This tough yet lightweight option lets you reuse it over and over again (plus you get to save turtles).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BZLR4LL/”]Get it on Amazon for $28.54.[/link-button]

14. Clean up with these plant-based scrub sponges.

You’re finally ready to tackle that pileup of dirty dishes from the weekend. After hours of coaxing yourself into this massive cleanup, you estimate it’s going to take several sponges to get the job done. Enter: Twist Scrub Sponges, the powerful scrubbing material made from 100-percent cactus (that’s right, c-a-c-t-u-s).

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These all-natural sponges contain no added colors or chemicals and are 100 percent biodegradable, so scrub away and toss ‘em out with a clean conscience.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Twist-Scrub-Sponges-6-Count/dp/B0083PZIGU”]Get it on Amazon for $18.75.[/link-button]

15. Brew tea to your heart’s content.

Going green is as simple as swapping out all those paper tea bags for the Finum Reusable Coffee and Tea Infusing Mesh Brewing Basket (the Earth and your tea will thank you).

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The brewing basket is made out of stainless steel and comes with a nifty lid to help maintain warm temperature for a longer period. Bonus: Flip the lid over and use it as a drip-off tray.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000I68NCS”]Get it on Amazon for $10.62.[/link-button]

16. Keep it green with these elegant soap dispensers.

Ditch the plastic bottles and fill up your bathrooms with these glass refillable soap dispensers by California Home Goods.

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Not only will you save money, you’ll also add an elegant, eco-friendly touch to your home. The dispensers come with a bonus pump and a lifetime guarantee to boot! Pro tip: Use them to store all your essential oils.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Dispenser-Refillable-California-Home-Goods/dp/B06W56R77W”]Get it on Amazon for $16.95.[/link-button]

17. A Plastic-Free Ice Tray for Every Occasion

Once you start noticing, you’ll find that a lot of seemingly insignificant items are made from plastic. Case in point: your average ice tray. Luckily, the Onyx Stainless Steel Ice Cube Tray is here to save the day (no rhyme intended). Turns out, this two-part system—with easy-release handle—dates back to the ’50s.

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Aside from being good for the planet, this novel tray makes for an elegant addition to any dinner party.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0027V9OR0″]Get it on Amazon for $29.60.[/link-button]

18. These Pinterest-worthy kitchen tools are #goals.

Chances are, the kitchen of your dreams is sporting a set of darling wooden utensils like these Lipper International 826 Bamboo Wood Kitchen Tools. Made from natural resources, the six-piece set is safe to use on all surfaces and will be extra gentle on your pots and pans.

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Swapping out your worn out plastic set is a no-brainer once you see these beauties on your countertop.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Lipper-International-Bamboo-Kitchen-6-Piece/dp/B075RYMB4X”]Get it on Amazon for $6.50.[/link-button]

19. A Clever Calculator for Your Budgeting Needs

If you work in an office or are the designated financial planner of your family (or have a child starting their math adventure), you’ve likely been using a traditional calculator made of plastic. Turns out, there’s a better, more eco-friendly option: this Sengu Bamboo Wooden Solar Calculator.

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Remember being a kid and becoming fascinated by anything solar powered? You just place the calculator in even dim light and ta-da! Magic.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015PTACEE”]Get it on Amazon for $17.99.[/link-button]

20. This Bamboo Keyboard and Mouse Combo

But why stop at calculators when you can replace other office items as well? Of course, reducing energy consumption is the goal here, but little things like opting for greener choices is a start. Using the SNGU Full Bamboo Handmade Wireless Keyboard and Mouse Combo will leave less of a carbon footprint.

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While the handcrafted design is aesthetically appealing, the bamboo material also makes for a comfortable typing experience.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/SNGU-SG-KG308-N-Handmade-Wireless-keyboard/dp/B015XM2B5G”]Get it on Amazon for $60.99.[/link-button]

21. Go Wild! – Swap Out Plastics for These Jazzy Coconut Bowls.

We have to admit, these bowls are one of our favorites on this list—there’s something about organic, handmade coconut dishware that transports me to some tropical island sipping some tropical fruit-based drink (of course).

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But beyond being just outright cool, CocoBowlz Coconut Bowls and Coconut Spoons Gift Set is also unique: Each bowl is crafted from its own coconut shell, meaning, no one else in the entire world will have one like it. And as you guessed it, they’re 100-percent NATURAL.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Coconut-Bowls-Spoons-Gift-Set/dp/B07CSYJSX9″]Get it on Amazon for $15.99.[/link-button]

22. This Miraculous Paper Towel Replacement

We get it: Cleaning up after a party with the same raggedy old cloth isn’t always practical. You need options. Luckily, keeping a clean home no longer means contributing to the thousands of pounds of paper towel waste created every day.

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With Bambooe Paper Towel Replacement, you’ll find a super absorbent and durable alternative that you can keep reusing (just one roll comes with 20 11.5″ x 11″ sheets and the manufacturer claims they’re machine-washable up to 100 times!) Bambooe plants a tree for each one you buy—so all the more reason to stack up.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Bambooee-Original-Reuseable-Washable-Replacement/dp/B00IFHNA48″]Get it on Amazon for $12.48.[/link-button]

23. Travel green with this charming bamboo cutlery set.

You’re in luck because this bamboo utensil set by Bare Vida will make all of your traveling dreams seamless. The cutlery’s cute, stylish design is perfect for slipping into your bag before any trip. More remarkable still is the way these handcrafted wonders are made: The bamboo is first drenched in a river for a month before drying out in the sun to strengthen (this makes the utensils last up to three years, according to the  !).

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If you’re also looking to make a contribution with your purchase, Bare Vida isn’t just environmentally friendly, they’re also a zero-waste company that works with locals and disabled foundations in Bali.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Bamboo-Utensil-Travel-Bare-Vida/dp/B07CN1BL8R”]Get it on Amazon for $25.[/link-button]

24. A Food Wrap with a Side of Whimsy

Wrapping up leftovers and chopped veggies is without a doubt one of our biggest daily wasters—thankfully, there’s a new, plastic-free kid in town. Introducing: Organic Reusable Food Wraps by Etee. That’s right, this wondrous, biodegradable item is made of hemp and certified organic cotton fabric infused with a combo of beeswax, organic cinnamon, clove, and jojoba oils, among other ingredients.

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Bonus: The wrap lets your food breathe so it stays fresher longer and comes in the most delightful colors that will add some much-needed flair to your kitchen.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Organic-Reusable-Food-Wraps-Etee/dp/B077Z1VVLL”]Get it on Amazon for $17.95.[/link-button]

25. Stay calm and brush your unruly hair.

Did you know it’s possible to have great hair and go greener? Holdoor’s Natural Wood Hair Comb helps you do exactly that. Say goodbye to plastic hairbrushes and remove all those kinky knots and tangles with this comb’s natural bristles that both massage your scalp and promotes blood circulation.

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Great for all hair types and for when you’ve just woken up in the morning. Remember: Saving the planet doesn’t mean living with eternal bed head.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Hairbrushes-Antistatic-Detangling-Detangler/dp/B0796R8XJX”]Get it on Amazon for $7.99.[/link-button]

26. A Better Way to Shop for Veggies

Who doesn’t love visiting their local farmer’s market? Now you can gear up for all those yummy fruits and veggies with Simple Ecology Organic Reusable Farmers Market Grocery Shopping Bag Set.

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Made of organic cotton and jute, this completely biodegradable reusable starter set is the perfect addition to your market outing. With each purchase, you get six bags that include durable handles and string produce saver bags.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Simple-Ecology-Reusable-Shopping-drawstring/dp/B01N6AUMBG”]Get it on Amazon for $18.75.[/link-button]

27. Lather up with these recycled loofahs.

Most of us know that our beloved loofahs are not environmentally kind, but what’s the alternative? Ah, glad you asked. Ecotools Cruelty Free and Eco Friendly Loofah Body Sponges let you cleanse and exfoliate without the guilt!

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Perfect for baths and showers alike, this pack of three handcrafted puffs is made from fully recyclable material. So while not biodegradable like other items on this list, it’s a good alternative to the regular options you’d buy.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Ecotools-Friendly-Cleansing-Exfoliation-Smoother/dp/B01N7CI5F1″]Get it on Amazon for $7.41.[/link-button]

28. Help Mother Nature by using these washable bags.

We all know grocery bags are no good, but equally bad are those tiny bags from the produce aisle. But fear not, VERONES reusable mesh bags are exactly what you need.

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Carry them in your larger grocery tote and use them for keeping all your fruits and veggies in place. Unlike plastic, these bags let your produce breathe so they don’t sweat, but no worries if they get stained: the 16-pack (of large, medium, and small bags) is both foldable and washable.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Reusable-VERONES-Washable-Friendly-Vegetable/dp/B07D261W6B”]Get it on Amazon for $13.99.[/link-button]

29. Beautify yourself with this cruelty-free makeup brush set.

In one of our most giftable items yet, Ecotools Boho Luxe Duo Bamboo Make Up Brush Set, is one you’ll want to keep all for yourself. Made of recycled, cruelty-free materials, these double-sided brushes are as posh as they are durable.

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Bonus: They come in a fabulous artsy bag that you’ll want to carry everywhere.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01JBYN2M8″]Get it on Amazon for $17.21.[/link-button]

30. A Book to Change Your Life: How to Live Plastic Free

It’s the little steps that can go a long way. Noticing the items you use and purchase when it comes to meals, beauty products and others, can give you an idea of what habits you need to change. Simply put: How to Live Plastic Free by the Conservation Society will teach you everything you need to know about cutting back on your plastic pollution.

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The chapters guide you through your morning routine to the time you go to bed. After all, saving the planet begins with the small choices we make today.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Plastic-Bonaccorsi-Marine-Conservation-Society/dp/1472260899/”]Get it on Amazon for $10.18.[/link-button]

31. Power your smartphone using the sun’s rays.

We’re not asking you to give up your iPhone, but you can choose to consume less energy with the Anker PowerPort Dual USB Solar Charger, which allows you to charge all your devices with the power of the sun.

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Pro tip: Use it as an excuse to get some much-needed rays and explore the outdoors. The charger is good for smartphones and tablets.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Anker-PowerPort-Charger-iPhone-Galaxy/dp/B012YUJJM8″]Get it on Amazon for $49.99.[/link-button]

32. These Mood-Enhancing Solar Powered Lights

Brighten up your patio for a garden party or just chill out in the moonlight with these energy-saving and environmentally friendly LED fairy lights. Put them out during the day for 6 to 8 hours of charging time and have them light up for about 8 to 12 hours after.

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These whimsical fairy string lights don’t just look pretty, they’re also mood-enhancing (in our opinion). Pro tip: Pair them with a warm firepit for maximum coziness effect.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Lights-String-Firefly-Insert-Regular/dp/B07BF6BP8Z”]Get it on Amazon for $15.43.[/link-button]

33. These Classic Bamboo Sunglasses

Beach season might be coming to an end, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your stylish shades. Tree Tribe Bamboo Sunglasses is environmentally kind, and the classic frames basically look good on everyone.

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They also offer UV400 protection and float in water! Another perk to your purchase: Tree Tribe plants 10 trees for every sale.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013AYIXZQ”]Get it on Amazon for $48.42.[/link-button]

33. Swap out your plastics for these Earth-friendly toothbrushes.

If you look around, you’ll start to see all the ways plastic has seeped into your life. Even your toothbrush is made from plastic. The good news is that we can now check another item off our list of swaps: GoWoo’s 100 percent natural bamboo toothbrush is here to make this transition seamless with their biodegradable super soft nylon bristles (which are especially great for sensitive gums).

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Not only are they sustainable and renewable, this set of four brushes will help you lead a green life without relinquishing quality (they also come in some pretty jazzy colors).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/GoWoo-100-Natural-Bamboo-Toothbrush/dp/B075CTRSJK”]Get it on Amazon for $12.25.[/link-button]

34. Go green and hang up your clothes in style.

When you open your closet, what’s hanging inside? If the answer is plastic, High Grade Lotus Wooden Hangers offers the perfect solution with their elegantly hand-crafted hangers.

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Each one comes wrapped in a clear, grooved vinyl grip so your clothes don’t slip off. They’ve also been sanded to a smooth, splinter-free finish.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/High-Grade-Lotus-Wooden-Hangers/dp/B075FBQB2W”]Get it on Amazon for $21.99.[/link-button]

35. This Eco-Friendly, Chill Out Dinnerware

Plastic plates may be an easy, convenient option for dinner parties, but let’s face it: They are bad news for the environment. Swapping to Frondware’s disposable palm leaf plates gives you the best of both worlds: scrub-free nights and a guilt-free conscience.

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Each pack of this biodegradable dinnerware comes with 100 9-inch plates. But even more impressive? They’re created by hand from the leaves of fallen palm fronds, which means no trees were harmed or cut to make them.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Frondware-Eco-Friendly-Biodegradable-Compostable-Alternative/dp/B07DXHGWB7″]Get it on Amazon for $39.99.[/link-button]

36. Greener Office Supplies

Confession: I’m all about office supplies. There’s nothing quite like picking up new notebooks and sticky notes to make me feel more productive (and somewhat nostalgic). Which is why I was stoked to discover Onyx and Blue’s Recycled Green Eco Friendly School Office Supplies Kit.

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The packaging is made from sustainable materials such as recycled, unbleached carton printed with soy-based ink, and comes with all kinds of goodies: pens, pencils, sticky notes, index cards, a notebook with bamboo paper, and natural rubber bands.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Recycled-Sustainable-Materials-Friendly-Supplies/dp/B07CWGN69W”]Get it on Amazon for $49.99.[/link-button]

37. Create a word garden with these sproutable pencils.

After writing down your masterpiece, instead of tossing out your pencil, you can literally plant it and watch it grow! The Original Sprout Pencil Set is 100 percent eco-friendly and made with only natural and biodegradable materials.

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They contain eight graphite pencils tipped with see capsules for growing herbs like thyme, basil, and flax. Another reason for you to finish up that big writing assignment!
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Sprout-plantable-graphite-pencils-friendly/dp/B07932F8M8″]Get it on Amazon for $14.95.[/link-button]

38. These Plastic-Free Stick Swabs

Don’t let wax buildup keep you glued to plastic (pun intended). Keep yourself fresh and clean with these Eco-Friendly Bamboo Stick Swabs that are both disposable and biodegradable.

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Each pack of three includes 1,500 swabs and is made out of tough bamboo material so that the handle bends without breaking.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQ6R7V0″]Get it on Amazon for $16.99.[/link-button]

39. An Elegant Lunch Box That Won’t Harm the Planet

A greener option to store your lunch is now here with this sustainably made stainless steel lunch box. Perfect for both kids and adults alike—the container holds more than six cups of food in its leak-proof compartment. Feel free to wash the lunchbox without fear of it rusting or eroding with time (the lunch box comes with a lifetime guarantee).

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Bonus: You also get the added perk of stainless steel utensils (score!).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Stainless-Ecofriendly-Lunchbox-Leak-Proof-Compartment/dp/B07FK58W3Q”]Get it on Amazon for $25.49.[/link-button]

40. The Gift Wrap That Keeps on Giving

When birthdays and celebrations come around, give your loved ones the Gift Wrap That Grows and Blooms Colorful Wild Flowers. While most wrapping ends up as waste in landfills, this eco-friendly alternative is made from 100 percent recycled paper and embedded with hundreds of wildflower seeds.

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Easily one of our top favorites on this list, each box contains four large flowering seeded gift wrap, six gift cards, and a bundle of natural raffia.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Grows-Blooms-Colorful-Flowers/dp/B0091NS0YK”]Get it on Amazon for $14.99.[/link-button]

41. Do away with plastic bottles with this solid shampoo bar.

Finally, a way to nourish your mane without hurting mother nature. With Organic Conditioning Shampoo by Très Spa, you’re getting a naturally biodegradable and vegan-friendly treat.

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All of their products are made from organic plant oils like clary sage and pink grapefruit that will help keep your hair looking shiny and lustrous. Handcrafted in small batches, Très Spa makes going green a delightfully relaxing and luxuriating experience.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JYQDYXQ”]Get it on Amazon for $12.[/link-button]

42. Dry off your dining ware with these reusable dish towels.

Keep things clean and green with Full Circle Tidy 100 percent organic cotton dishcloths. Made with non-toxic dyes and soft, absorbent cotton, these towels are tougher than they look; plus, their little loops give you that extra bit of scrubbing power.

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Use the set of three to keep your dishes and glassware shiny and dry, then toss them in the washing machine after.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003ZJL51G”]Get them on Amazon for $7.99.[/link-button]

43. The Motivational Shirt That Keeps You Going

Last but not least, we know saving the planet is no easy feat, which is why you need a constant (friendly) reminder of what’s at stake.

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Keep it real with this “There is no Plan B.” shirt that’s 100 percent cotton and machine washable. Even better, give it out to family and friends (the Earth needs as many environmentally conscious helpers it can get).
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Earth-Day-Planet-Tshirt/dp/B06Y1BMG1J”]Get it on Amazon for $16.99.[/link-button]

Categories
Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

Signs You’re In A Codependent Relationship (And What To Do About It)

Let’s face it: Relationships are hard. Trying to parse out the right balance between sharing our life with someone versus being joined by the hip can start to get fuzzy over time.
And if Grey’s Anatomy has taught us anything, it’s that spending every waking hour with our “person” can make it hard to decipher where they end and we begin.

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Apparently, it’s a line that often gets crossed for couples. Although popular culture often glamorizes this kind of romantic enmeshment, according to psychologists, it can quickly devolve into an unhealthy dynamic called “codependency,” a tendency of over-reliance on others.
If you and your partner find it hard spending time apart or struggle to make even the most basic decisions without the other’s approval, read on.

Codependency for the Uninitiated

While most people automatically think of codependency as a generic term for any kind of dysfunctional relationship, the concept originally referred to the enabling behavior of the partners of those struggling with addiction. But the definition has since evolved within the mental health community. According to WebMD, codependency is a pattern of behavior where your entire sense of self revolves around your partner’s approval.

Woman reaching out for man.
iStock/Constantinis

Sara Stanizai, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with high-functioning anxiety in couples, says that unlike independence, where each person is capable of meeting their own needs and then chooses to be present with their partner, “in codependence, people are not capable of meeting their own needs and require this from their partner.”
It impacts relationships because people have a hard time making even basic decisions on their own without consulting their other half. This means that on a deeper level, they are strongly influenced by their partner’s feelings and emotions.
Woman clinging to man.
iStock/Constantinis

This is different from mutual dependency, says Claudia Luiz, a New York City psychoanalyst and author. “Codependency is very frustrating, like trying to walk through quicksand or being stuck in slow motion.”

Signs You’re in a Codependent Relationship

“It feels like playing a role as opposed to being a real person who is allowed the full spectrum of human experience,” says digital nomad Vironika Tugaleva, a Canadian life coach.

Couple sitting together.
iStock/PeopleImages

Tugaleva, 30, has been in codependent relationships for most of her life. “Even the one I’m in now begins to curdle into those patterns,” she says, “and we have to claw our way out with self-awareness, honesty, and forgiveness.”
Many times, we don’t know what codependency looks like, as it’s often passed down as learned behaviors, says Keba Richmond-Green, a marriage and family psychoanalyst from Atlanta.
[pullquote align=”center”]“Codependency can wreak havoc on relationships and block someone from experiencing true intimacy.”
—Eliza Boquin, licensed marriage and family therapist[/pullquote]
In order to identify these patterns, she advises we take honest inventory of our relationship by asking ourselves the following questions: Do I always feel I get the short end of the deal? Am I worried about their opinion of me or my choices? Am I uncomfortable expressing my true feelings? Do I feel humiliation or like a child when I make a mistake? Am I passive? Do I keep quiet to avoid arguments?
Couple standing in the sand.
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Taking stock of the answers that might arise isn’t easy, but here are other clear-cut signs to look for, according to experts:

Separation Issues

There is little to no privacy or personal time; you don’t spend time separate from one another. One of the resulting red flags is not having personal hobbies, only hobbies together. Another flag for this is when you have each other’s passwords for every account.

Young woman texting in bed.
iStock/millann

This is the result of another symptom: One or both of you have difficulty setting or enforcing limits and boundaries. There’s constant texting or checking in with each other, and there’s panic if there’s no response to texts. There’s also a feeling of mistrust when spending time apart.

Needs and Emotions

You feel an overwhelming need to be liked and approved by the other person—this often results in you feeling emotionally and physically drained the majority of the time. Exacerbating this is the feeling that you can’t be happy unless the other person is happy.

Couple having a fight.
iStock/nd3000

Oftentimes, you are unable to identify your own needs and desires and, consequently, not meeting them. You may also suffer from low self-esteem, feeling like you’re never good enough.
You’re easily swayed by your partner’s opinion or emotions, even when your instincts or feelings say otherwise. There’s a distinct fear of abandonment or exaggerated fear of the relationship ending.

How Codependency Inhibits Growth

Since intimacy is fueled by the perfect balance of distance and closeness, according to Eliza Boquin, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Houston, individuals in codependent relationships will often struggle to achieve the autonomy needed to experience the type of connection they so often desire.

Couple fighting at home.
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“Codependency can wreak havoc on relationships and block someone from experiencing true intimacy,” she says.
Tugaleva acknowledges that these dynamics have often held her back by not allowing her to explore a fuller range of emotions, but she also recognizes that these patterns have been embedded within her family for generations. In fact, research on codependency shows it’s trans-generational in nature and often stems from a child watching and imitating these behaviors from other family members.
Child listening to his parents argue.
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It’s also important to note that these symptoms can later be seen in a variety of different relationships and isn’t limited to those that are romantic in nature.
For someone prone to codependent traits—such as excessive caretaking or feeling the need to fix others—it’s easy to fall prey to toxic friendships where the person can initially feel both needed and appreciated. The danger here is in basing our sense of self-worth on our “friend’s” needs.

Likelihood of Thriving in Codependent Relationships

Sometimes couples can worry that they have “too much drama” to be happy, explains Stanizai. But if you and your partner have similar reactions to drama, then it’s not necessarily a problem. “For example, if you are both hot-headed or cool-headed, that’s a better situation than if one of you is very reactive and the other is cool as a cucumber.”

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One of the most important factors in making a relationship happy, she says, is if you and your partner match in communication styles, emotional patterns, etc. “Just feeling that you are codependent doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed,” Stanizai affirms. “There are many people in codependent relationships who have regular disagreements but still rate their relationship as very happy overall.”
Still, she cautions: “Codependency itself isn’t the best type of relationship to be in, so you should consider working together with a therapist, coach, or religious leader to help you manage your relationship.”
Therapist lecturing a couple.
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Luiz agrees with her, saying an otherwise great relationship can often hinder a couple from working on the codependency. “It’s easier to sweep a problem under the rug when things are otherwise pretty okay.”

Making the Decision to Break Patterns

Giving each other space is the first step toward breaking these patterns.
The next, according to Boquin, is working with a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in healthy relationships and who can give you the necessary tools to identify and implement healthy boundaries. This also allows you and your partner to gain further insight into unhealthy relationship patterns and provide you with the necessary support to begin experiencing healthy relationships.

Young woman confronting her partner in a therapy session.
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However, experts offer a word of caution that not all relationships can be salvaged, especially if they are based on a foundation of toxicity or emotional abuse. “When two people trigger each other perpetually, cannot walk away when things get too angry, cannot be loving, can’t be heard, or [can’t] create a positive outcome, then the couple becomes tragically stuck in codependence,” says Luiz.
“But if the codependency is relegated only to a corner of the relationship,” she adds, “let’s say around food consumption, around having temper tantrums when there’s a particular trigger, or around not setting good boundaries with children perhaps, then the rest of the relationship may be fine.”
Young couple talking seriously in bed.
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She’s quick to note, however, that this doesn’t exempt a couple from the arduous task of working on their issues. “As a psychoanalyst, when a couple brings me their codependency issues, we are at the heart of everything that is unresolved for both people,” Luiz explains. “Like feeling unheard, being with somebody who is emotionally unresponsive, feeling loved, feeling respected, feeling in control, etc.”

Forging Independence

If you find yourself in a relationship that is (or could become) codependent, Stanizai recommends taking the following steps for improving autonomy:

Have personal hobbies, friends, or other things that are just for you.

Have separate gyms, Friday night happy hour, or certain events that are just fun for you. “Couples will have to negotiate what they are okay with,” Stanizai says, “but the idea is to deliberately spend time apart, take a risk, and cultivate trust.”

Self-soothe and calm yourself down when you start to get nervous.

If you partner hasn’t returned a text for a few hours or your mind starts to wander, counteract those negative thoughts with positive ones. It’s most likely not the worst-case scenario you think it is.

Practice active listening.

Believe your partner when they tell you something. You would want the same, right? When they tell you something, repeat it back to them until they are satisfied that you understand them. (This sounds weird on a daily basis, but it’s more useful after a disagreement.)

The good news: Codependency can be overcome!

Luiz reiterates that dependency in itself isn’t the problem. “Your dependence on each other should only be changed if it’s standing in the way of growth, productivity, or greater intimacy.”

Couple holding hands on a table.
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“This is an opportunity to scratch beneath the surface of the relationship,” she says, “and go deep into knowledge of each other to shake things up and come out ahead.”
Luiz recommends couples use their codependency to learn more about themselves; part of this means delving into uncomfortable truths about one’s past, such as exploring early childhood issues and their connection to current dysfunctional behavior patterns.


Working closely with a licensed psychotherapist can help you and your partner begin to turn things around and make significant strides toward improving your relationship—but equally important is turning an inward eye to where it all first started. While we can’t change events from our personal history, we can become more aware of the effects they have on our present and the ways we can reduce their impact.
Tugaleva now looks back on her prior relationships through the lens that time and introspection have given her. She says the more she’s allowed paradoxes into her experience, the more she’s been able to heal these negative patterns.

Couple hugging and sitting on a bed.
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She believes that in order to lead healthy relationships with ourselves and others, we must first be able to access the entire range of human experience when we need it. “I can be angry and sad, vulnerable and hard, strong and weak, loud and quiet,” Tugaleva notes. “I need to be all these things at different times.”
“Now that I am able to do so, I refrain from playing small, limited roles with others,” she adds. “I am free of needing them to act a certain way in order to be happy.”

Categories
Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

The Realities Of Vanishing Twin Syndrome

You may have heard of vanishing twin syndrome—where one twin is absorbed by the other in the uterus during pregnancy—in the media over the past few years. One particularly stark example comes from the HuffPost story about a 2-year-old boy from China who “gave birth” through his abdominal cavity to his twin brother’s fetus.
What you probably didn’t know, however, is that the syndrome, while not as extreme as the story mentioned above, is more common than you might think.

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According to Kimberly Martin, MD, senior global medical director of women’s health for Natera, an estimated one in three to one in five pregnancies that start as twins result in the birth of only one baby. One study even indicated that it occurs in up to 21 to 30 percent of multifetal gestations.
But despite the fact that this phenomenon is hardly new, many of us aren’t familiar with the signs, symptoms, and effects it can cause the mother and remaining twin. We spoke with experts and women who have gone through this experience: Here is what they had to say.

Once there were two.

“My mom is an OB-GYN labor and delivery nurse, so when she found out that she was pregnant with me, she had ultrasounds done fast and frequently—that’s how she saw there were two babies,” says Erin (whose name has been changed to protect her privacy), 35, of Oswego, Illinois. “Then suddenly, there was only me.”

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For as long as she can remember, Erin has known she was missing her other half. “It was kind of a running joke among my friends that I ‘ate my twin,’ since it was absorbed.”
While she’s never experienced any physical effects from being a solo twin, she often speculates about how things could have ended up differently: “What if I was the one who withered away instead of the other child? Would [they] have made my parents’ lives easier than I have? What if that baby was supposed to live and I was supposed to die?”
All of these what ifs, Erin admits, “kind of [mess] with your head from time to time.”

Where does the term “vanishing twin syndrome” come from?

The term was initially recognized by Walter Stoeckel in 1945, before the days of ultrasound, when women and their doctors never even knew something had happened. But the syndrome has since gained more traction, as the use of ultrasonography in [linkbuilder id=”6720″ text=”early pregnancy”] has led to more frequent diagnoses.

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“The great technology we have that allows us to closely monitor our pregnancies is both a blessing and a curse because we are aware of so many more things,” says Erin O’Toole, a board-certified prenatal genetic counselor.
She explains that a vanishing twin is essentially a miscarriage of one baby in a twin pregnancy (spontaneous or IVF). “When these miscarriages happen early enough, the demised baby will ‘dissolve’ and be reabsorbed into the mother, making it look like the baby simply vanished.”
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The difference here, according to Martin, is that unlike most miscarriages, where the pregnancy is passed through the birth canal, in vanishing twin syndrome, it happens on the inside.

What are the causes of vanishing twin syndrome?

Approximately 15 percent of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, says O’Toole. A vanishing twin is unique, however, because there is still another baby. “For most miscarriages, we never know the reason why, but over 50 percent of pregnancies that miscarry have a chromosomal abnormality,” she tells HealthyWay. Some studies also point to improper cord implantation as playing a role.

HealthyWay
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Finding out the specific reasons for vanishing twin syndrome, however, isn’t so straightforward, as it’s difficult to test.
“Depending on how early the loss of the twin was, tissue from the demised twin is often not identifiable at delivery,” O’Toole explains.
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However, she’s quick to point out that in these pregnancies, the DNA of the demised twin will still contribute to the DNA from the pregnancy in the mother’s blood. “One time, I had a patient with a vanished twin whose blood test identified Y chromosome. Her living baby was actually female, but the vanished twin must have been male.”

What are the signs to look for?

Bleeding can be a sign of a vanishing twin, says Martin, but because it’s common for 20 percent of women to experience light bleeding in the first trimester, the condition can be hard to detect from this sign alone.
Some women can experience classic miscarriage signs like cramping, bleeding, or pelvic pain—but these signs do not necessarily equate a miscarriage. Others may have no symptoms at all and will only learn of their condition by ultrasound.

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For 50-year-old mother Jamie (whose name has been changed for her privacy) of New Jersey, bleeding at seven weeks was the first sign something wasn’t right. At the time, she had been receiving infertility treatment and recalls watching the ultrasound monitor with her fertility doctor—yet they couldn’t make out what they were seeing. While one twin was clearly visible, the other was murky, she recalls. Was it just a sac? A cyst?
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“We weren’t sure until we went to the OB-GYN for my 12-week appointment, and she clearly told me,” she says.
[pullquote align=”center”]“Getting pregnant can be difficult for some couples, and the let down of losing a child, even though you are still pregnant with one, is very real and doesn’t diminish the loss of that child.”
—Kristen N. Burris on vanishing twin syndrome[/pullquote]
Jamie’s experience is similar to other women who go through fertility treatment, says Martin, as they tend to have ultrasounds more frequently in the first few weeks of their pregnancy. However, she points out that this isn’t the case for women who aren’t going in for fertility treatment, as most won’t have an ultrasound until later in the first trimester.
“So it could happen, and no one would ever know,” she says.

How is it treated?

Finding out about the syndrome often leads to the next question—what treatments are available? According to O’Toole, since the discovery is incidental, most of the time there is no treatment for a vanishing twin, and the mother will continue to carry both babies.
Denise (who asked to remain anonymous), a 34-year-old mom from Chicago, can still recall the panic she experienced eight weeks into her first pregnancy. “I went to the bathroom and saw blood. I thought I was miscarrying,” she remembers, “I thought it was done.”
“We’d had no trouble getting pregnant, and so maybe this was our heartbreak,” she adds.

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When Denise later met with her doctor, she was surprised to discover that the ultrasound had revealed the presence of not one, but two amniotic sacs. The doctor explained that while one held a heartbeat, the other did not. “They suspected the bleeding was from the one who wasn’t going to make it.”
According to Medscape, uncomplicated vanishing twin syndrome requires no special medical care, but the pregnancy should continue to be closely monitored.
Studies have shown that the timing of this loss can significantly alter the outcome for both the mother and viable twin. If it occurs in the first trimester, for example, neither mother nor remaining fetus will typically show any signs or symptoms.
Should the loss happen during the second or third trimester, however, the fetus could be at greater risk of developing cerebral palsy or aplasia cutis. It can also pose complications for the mother in the way of potential infection or preterm labor.
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O’Toole says that many women who have experienced a miscarriage of a singleton or had a vanishing twin pregnancy are often concerned about their risk of experiencing another in the future. However, she urges women to keep in mind that miscarriages are common, and having one or two losses is no reason to worry.
[pullquote align=”center”]I would want other mamas to know that I had, and you can have, a perfectly healthy pregnancy after [losing one twin in the womb].[/pullquote]
“Most healthcare providers define recurrent pregnancy loss as experiencing three or more miscarriages,” she says, as that is typically when a medical investigation occurs to explain why the miscarriages are happening. Research by Holly Ford, MD, and Danny Schust, MD, estimated that the rate of women who do experience recurrent miscarriages is one to two percent.

How is the mother affected?

Even though there is little cause for concern for a recurrence of a vanishing twin, the grief response of losing one can be quite deep.
“It’s still a miscarriage, just not in the way we think of miscarriage,” explains Kristen N. Burris, a licensed acupuncturist who treats women for ailments during pregnancy. She says it often happens quickly, from the joy of finding out you’re expecting twins to the devastation of finding out one of the twins has not made it.

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These highs and lows are hard to take, Burris says. The accompanied terror that ensues about something bad happening to the other child is hard to shake.
“Getting pregnant can be difficult for some couples,” she observes, “and the let down of losing a child, even though you are still pregnant with one, is very real and doesn’t diminish the loss of that child.”
And the further along in a pregnancy, the more attached a couple can become—causing the loss to be that much more difficult.
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Martin, who has given this diagnosis to patients many times over the course of 20 years, is adamant that healthcare providers become more aware of these conflicting emotions and offer greater understanding and support.
“This situation can be particularly challenging because there is joy related to the anticipated birth of one child, but a sense of loss about the other,” she says.
But just as each pregnancy varies from patient to patient, the same can be said of each reaction.
“Certainly for some women, it is a very sad moment,” says Robert O. Atlas, MD, chair of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore. “For others, it’s a big relief due to the stress which a mother may feel. It really depends on the individual—how they will respond to this finding.”
In many cases, the amount of trauma relates to how soon in the pregnancy a mother receives her diagnosis. For Denise, receiving hers early helped her cope with the news.
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“I was just so happy I wasn’t losing the pregnancy that it really wasn’t emotionally that hard on me,” she recalls. “I remember thinking ‘I thought there was one baby, and you’re telling me there’s one baby? I’m good.’”
While Denise was grateful she wasn’t losing the pregnancy, she notes the following visit was somewhat tougher to process.
Yet, despite her initial experience, she doesn’t feel that her diagnosis has produced any long-term emotional consequences. She has since gone on to carry two full-term pregnancies with no related complications. “I would want other mamas to know that I had, and you can have, a perfectly healthy pregnancy after.”

What about the remaining twin?

In vanishing twin syndrome, many questions arise: Does a surviving twin have a prenatal memory of death? Do they experience any symptoms afterward or feel an inexplicable connection to their sibling?
Psychologists have long theorized about the lasting effects of sole surviving twins, yet the intricacy and nature of these bonds are still a gray area within science. Martin says the possible mental effects of the surviving twin remain unknown.

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“We are not sure if this has ever been studied,” she says. But, as David Cohen of The Independent put it, this “certainly does not mean that such a bond doesn’t exist.”
While more research is needed to measure these effects, one thing remains clear: The absence of one twin can fill the other with a persistent feeling that something is missing.

And then there was one.

“Would we be best friends? Mortal enemies? Would my sibling look like me?” Erin asks. She says the news of her twin didn’t necessarily affect her when she found out, but she adds, “It just made me kind of wish for someone and something that will never be.”
“I recently had a miscarriage of my own at 12 weeks and got to bond with my mother over the fact that she lost a baby, too—no matter how small that child was when it passed.”

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Despite many years of longing for answers, Erin has made peace with the fact that some things can’t be neatly explained, nor should they be. She wants other women to know that.
“Some babies are healthy, and some babies are not,” she says. “Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be, and we have to deal with the consequences of that.”

Categories
Wellbeing

Grieving 101: Healthy Methods For Processing And Recovering From Loss

Chris Navalta, 41, still remembers the haze of grief that engulfed him soon after his nephew, Robby, was shot in broad daylight in 2014.
“I felt numb. I felt like things were a blur and that there’s a void that can never be filled again.”

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In his memory, the days that ensued can be recalled only in dream-like fragments. “I’ve dealt with death in the past,” the San Francisco resident says. “But never in this way where I was just talking to someone just a few weeks ago, and now he’s gone.”
“I didn’t want to medicate myself, and I didn’t want to do anything to make the pain go away,” he says. “Because the reality is, the pain will never go away.”
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For Chris, navigating the aftermath of loss has been one of the most challenging experiences he’s had to face. But it’s also one that anyone who has lost a loved one can easily recognize. To grieve is to be upended entirely—to have the world you knew be demolished in an instant, and to wonder whether you can ever feel “whole” again.
[pullquote align=”center”]“People describe [grief] as a series of ocean waves of different sizes at different times, or as a spiral staircase where you repeatedly grow and fall back.”
—Sara Stanizai, licensed therapist[/pullquote]
How then, can a person cope—much less heal—from these deep emotional wounds?
While there are no easy answers when it comes to heartache, according to psychologists, it is possible to deepen our understanding of grief and find the right resources to help us process our pain. The first thing to keep in mind, however, is this:

Grief isn’t a checklist.

You can’t quantify loss, despite what popular culture will have us believe. “There is no set pattern,” says Javanne Golob, a licensed clinical social worker from Venice, California. “Grief moves and shifts over time,” she says, and since we each love differently, we will all grieve differently.

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As such, not everyone falls neatly into the “Five Stages of Grief”: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. For someone struggling to accept a loved one’s passing, for example, emotional checklists like these are not only inaccurate, they perpetuate harmful stereotypes that can make a person feel like a failure for simply not getting over it.”
It’s because of this confusion that the model’s originator, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, said later in life that the stages aren’t linear or predictable; she ended up regretting presenting them in such a way.
Thankfully, many practitioners today are taking a more holistic view of grief and understanding that those five stages don’t always occur for everyone.
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And because grief is not linear for some, it may not always show up as sadness, says Golob. “Sometimes it’s anger. Sometimes it’s joy or fear. It’s all okay.”
“People describe it as a series of ocean waves of different sizes at different times,” says Sara Stanizai, a licensed therapist in Long Beach, California, “or as a spiral staircase where you repeatedly grow and fall back.”

Heartsickness affects both your mind and body.

“I have lost many extended family members—aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas, and even friends, but my daughter’s death was the hardest,” says Ashley Jones, who lost her 21-month-old daughter to a terminal genetic condition in 2011.

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She recalls the toll bereavement took on her: “From the physical pain to the emotional hurt, spiritual self-questioning, and complete exhaustion—I wasn’t prepared for the depth of grief of losing a child,” said the Chattanooga resident and founder of Love Not Lost, a non-profit dedicated to helping others going through grief.
As it turns out, this kind of deep psychological trauma not only affects a person’s emotional wellbeing, it also weakens your health.
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Experiencing a stressor similar to the one Ashley went through has been found to cause detrimental physical and mental health effects. Past research has shown that a major loss, such as the passing of a spouse or a child, increases the risk of fatality from heart disease and contributes to a variety of psychiatric disorders. These poor health outcomes are even higher for those who continue to show elevated grief symptoms six months after the loss.
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And these effects don’t discriminate by age. One 2014 study published in the journal Immunity & Ageing found that the elderly are especially susceptible to infectious diseases after losing a loved one. Another more recent study revealed that adolescents who lose a family member or friend at such a young age are profoundly affected in their development, social functioning, and physical and mental health.

Common Stereotypes

“It’s important for me to be aware of my grief and to not mask it—not to my friends and not to myself,” says Chris, who has found a harmful stereotype in expecting people to grieve and then quickly move on after a loss. “It’s not like I want things to be back to normal,” he explains. “I’m now dealing with a new normal, and the way I handle my grief may not work for others—I just know that it works for me.”

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More harmful still is the myth that time heals all wounds, Golob says; as we’ve noted before, healing isn’t linear. Some days you might feel warm and nostalgic when thinking about your loved one, and other days you may feel heavy and dark. This doesn’t mean you aren’t handling the loss well, she emphasizes, it just means that we can’t predict what will happen, and we need to be compassionate toward ourselves when the pain arrives.
Similarly, if you find joy in a certain day or activity, it doesn’t mean you don’t miss the person who is gone. “Having fun and enjoying your life is not betrayal,” she explains. “Think of it like waves crashing on the sand, there will be ebb and flow. Some days you will lean in, and some days you might need to opt out.”
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Overall, learning how to cope comes down to realizing this simple truth:

There is no perfect recipe for grieving.

There are, however, healthy ways of processing it, according to Golob.

Track how your loss has impacted you.

Pay attention to how this loss may be affecting you. You are going to react in a way that is unique. Everyone handles loss differently. Comparison is not the goal here.

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Ask yourself what expectations you have of grieving and notice if you have any judgments about the way you are handling the grief. Not everyone cries all the time; not everyone talks openly about their experience; not everyone wants to take time off work.

Become aware of how substances impact you.

People who are struggling with a significant loss or other mental health issues may see their symptoms increase with substance use. While you may have had a healthy relationship with a substance before, you may notice that your relationship with it may change during the grieving period. Track how you feel when under the influence and during the withdrawal period.

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Drinking can be a common coping method; remember that it is a depressant and can increase [linkbuilder id=”6662″ text=”symptoms of depression”] like sadness or hopelessness. On the other side of the spectrum, caffeine is a stimulant and can increase anxiety and stress.

Form a deeper relationship with your grief.

Golob advises asking yourself the following questions: What are my triggers? What are my strengths, my positive coping skills? What is making my pain increase?
Pay attention to how you feel throughout the day. Track your grief on a scale of 1-10 in the morning, afternoon, and evening. If you see a jump or a dip, explore what may have caused the change (e.g., a person asking about the loss or a long walk in nature at lunch).

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Reach out to a professional if your grief is keeping you from being able to live the life you want. Chris says that regularly seeing a grief counselor has been helpful in processing his own loss.

Prevention

  • Take preventative measures to keep yourself well.
  • Get enough sleep at night. The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7 to 9 hours for adults and 8 to 10 for teenagers.
  • Eat well for your body (that will look different for everyone). Track how you feel before and after meals.
  • Exercise! According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise produces hormones that naturally ease anxiety and depressive feelings.
  • Figure what is most helpful to you. What works for others may not work for you. You are unique.
  • Talk to a friend, a family member, or a therapist. Psychologist and bereavement trauma specialist Sherry Cormier, PhD, explains that bearing the grief alone simply makes the pain worse. Cormier, who herself has experienced loss, says that what ultimately helped her was finding a new sense of community.“I believe that grief is healed predominantly through some kind of connections with other people.”
  • Prioritize your self-care. Sometimes saying no to someone is saying yes to yourself.
  • Make time to have fun and engage in enjoyable activities.
  • Make sure you are being honest with yourself about how the grief is impacting you.

What People Who Have Dealt With Loss Want You to Know

“I made a list of things that made me feel comforted: a candle, wearing my Dad’s shirt, signing up for a kickboxing class. Then, when I was having really bad grief days, I could go to my list and pick from what felt best in that moment.”—Katie Huey, Colorado

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“I went to as many grief support groups as I could find and made many new widow friends. I read books on grief. I go to Mass every day and have become very active in church activities and am still active in my caregiver support organization. I stay close to God and pray for healing.”—Terri Corcoran, Virginia
“Figure out a meaningful way to honor their memory. It could be having a memorial service. If they loved the outdoors, planting trees or a flower. Writing a poem, volunteering in a place they were connected with also are healthy ways to honor their memory and deal with grief.”—Iris Waichler, Chicago
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“By keeping a gratitude journal and starting each day by jotting down at least three things you’re grateful for right now, we’re able to train our brains to see the light at the end of the tunnel as each day goes on.”—Julie Cegelski, California

You’ll never be the same, and that’s okay.

“It’s been four years since Robby left us, but I still have what I like to call ‘moments,’” says Chris, “where I could be doing something and then all of a sudden, I have this feeling of utter sadness and pain. I don’t know when it’s going to come, but I allow it to happen and I move forward.”

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It’s okay for us to acknowledge that we’ll never stop grieving, says Cormier, who believes we don’t ever really “move on”we move through grief. As Golob puts it, “If you love someone, the pain of their loss never completely goes away.” The intensity of the pain may subside, you may go days without thinking of them, but you’ll never be the same as you were before the experience of loss.
Cormier emphasizes, however, that even as we continue to recover and heal from loss, our grief will change us in unexpected and profound ways.
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This has been true for Ashley, who says that helping others through her non-profit has allowed her to tap into a greater sense of humanity and purpose. But, she notes, there has been the realization that while she can’t change the past nor live in the future, she can choose things in the now that will help her have a better future.
“Life is short. We only get one shot,” she says.Let’s make the most of it because there are no do-overs.”

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Essential Knowledge: The Dos And Don'ts When Using Essential Oils

We’ve all been there: sitting at our desks on a dreary Monday afternoon, imagining the long, luxurious baths that await us when we get home—nothings beats those Monday Blues like good old-fashioned self-care! Bubbles are definitely in the mix (why not?), along with music, candles, and our favorite essential oil. Maybe we’ll spice things up and add in a few drops of lavender.
It’s easy to lose ourselves in the absolute bliss that comes from inhaling these sweet fragrances. Using essential oils is practically synonymous with relaxation. Plus, lavender has long been known for its calming properties, and you pretty much find it everywhere—lotions, haircare, aromatherapy, and even cleaning products.

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Whether these oils are harmful or not is probably the furthest thing from your mind. And if you’re anything like me, your trust that the word “natural” on a label automatically gives you a free pass from worrying about potential risks (hello, blind faith). After all, how harmful can something be if it comes from a plant?
Well, turns out plenty. Essential oils aren’t regulated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, and according to the FDA website, “many plants contain materials that are toxic, irritating, or likely to cause allergic reactions when applied to the skin.”
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Sure, while they aren’t as concerning as many man-made chemicals, experts believe a little precaution could do us some good.
So let’s get down to it. What exactly are the risks? And more importantly, are we even using these mysterious oils correctly? Fear not—we’ve got you covered.

What are essential oils, anyway?

You probably already know that they’ve been around since forever, but have you ever wondered how these magical substances come to be?
Why yes, they do originate from plants. But more specifically, they’re extracted from the petals, stems, and roots that later undergo a process of distillation (to get the essence of the plants, thus essential oils). What this means is that in order to produce even one pound of lavender oil, you have to use a whopping 220 pounds of lavender flowers! Basically, it’s liquid gold.

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Aside from relaxation perks, the purported therapeutic benefits of these essential oils run the gamut from mood elevation and stress relief to remedies for chronic pain, insomnia, migraine, arthritis, and more, according to the Los Angeles Times. In fact, many ancient civilizations like Egypt, China, and India have used aromatherapy as a popular alternative therapy for at least 6,000 years.

What Experts Want You to Know About Essential Oils

Here’s the scoop: If you’ve been slathering up with lavender and tree tea oil, you might want to give it some extra thought. Both have been linked to abnormal breast growth in young boys, called prepubertal gynecomastia, according to a recent study led by co-authors J. Tyler Ramsey and Kenneth S. Korach.

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The researchers explained by email that both oils can act as endocrine disruptors when used topically. What this means is that the boys’ sex hormones were altered, causing an increase in estrogen levels on the breast tissue the same way a woman’s body would normally develop. Boiled down, this means components found in these particular oils can mimic hormones in the human body.
And this isn’t the first time lavender and tea tree oils have come under question. According to prior research from 2007 that examined three otherwise healthy young boys with abnormal breast growth, “repeated topical exposure to lavender and tea tree oils probably caused prepubertal gynecomastia in these boys.”
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So what’s the deal here? Should we worry, particularly if we have male children? To a degree, yes. While lavender is generally safe for adults to use, it should be avoided by boys going through puberty, says Joseph Feuerstein, MD, an assistant professor of medicine at Columbia University and director of integrative medicine at Stamford Hospital, as they may be more susceptible to hormonal changes and disrupting chemicals.
Above all, he recommends consulting with your doctor to be on the safe side.

Essential Oils, Science, and Your Body

We all have that one friend who swears these oils have cured her of innumerable ills, but is there any truth to her claims?

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Despite being a fairly ancient practice, aromatherapy research is still fairly sparse. Most of its effects are still being tested and researched, although we do have a few bits of insight regarding the scientific aspect of aromatherapy.
The Physician Data Query (PDQ) summary of aromatherapy and essential oils sums up oils’ current status: “Studies of aromatherapy massage or inhalation have had mixed results. There have been some reports of improved mood, anxiety, sleep, nausea, and pain. Other studies reported that aromatherapy showed no change in symptoms.”
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Some research has found that oils, especially lavender, can be great for aiding those with sleeping issues. Of course, the researchers do acknowledge that more studies are needed to fully verify this.
Research also suggests that aromatherapy may be beneficial for patients with dementia by alleviating pain and encouraging relaxation—that being said, the authors do state, yet again, that more research is needed before any conclusions can be made.
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The PDQ summary mentions one study which found that tea tree oil was just as effective as the standard ointment for treating antibiotic-resistant MRSA. Another found that cancer patients that were massaged with Roman chamomile oil felt a decrease in anxiety and improved their symptoms, while those massaged without the oil did not feel those effects.  
Feuerstein says he uses an oral form of lavender oil to treat anxiety based on a randomized trial. But it’s also important to keep in mind, he warns, that these oils aren’t without their risks.
“The most common reactions are local skin irritations from topical applications or systemic hypersensitivity—generalized rash, swelling and other inflammation—when taken internally.”
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Also important to keep in mind is that there have been few studies on the safety or effectiveness of ingesting these oils. But according to Audrey Christie McLaughlin, RN, a Texas-based certified clinical master of aromatherapy, ingesting concentrated oils can damage your gut’s microbiome and mucous membrane.

Ways to Use Essential Oils

When it comes to their effects on our skin and body, these oils are powerful enough so that just one or two drops should be more than enough, says McLaughlin. She compares this amount to equaling an astonishing 30 cups of herbal tea.

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You can breathe in or apply diluted versions of them on your skin through massage, lotions, or bath salts. McLaughlin recommends using diluting the oils with a vegetable-based oil such as olive or coconut oil. You can also do this with creams or bath gels. Keep in mind you’re more likely to have an allergic reaction if the percentage of pure oil is higher than 1-5 percent.
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Make sure to avoid rubbing oils on sensitive areas like your mouth, nose, eyes, or private parts (lemongrass, peppermint, and cinnamon are especially big no-nos). And while this is obvious, it needs to be said: Keep them far, FAR away from damaged skin. Undiluted oils can be downright dangerous when applied to injured or inflamed skin.
Also, be wary of certain essential oils if you suffer from epilepsy. According to the Epilepsy Society, a UK-based epilepsy service provider,  rosemary, sage, and eucalyptus essential oils may trigger seizures in those with epilepsy.
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Plus, remember to look for pure oils without any added ingredients as they’re more likely to cause allergic reactions. Keep an eye out for any oils older than 3 years, too; if they’re that old, toss ’em.
Most importantly, don’t overdo it. Even when diluted, an essential oil can cause a bad reaction if you use too much or use it too often. Talk with your doctor! They’re the only one who can rule out potential side-effects.

Essential Oil Guidelines

A little common sense can go a long way here. Just like anything else you put on your skin, it’s best to test a little bit on a small area and see how your skin responds.
Feuerstein says it’s possible to have a local hypersensitivity reaction with any oil when applied topically—in the way of redness, swelling, and dermatitis. He advises to always patch test each oil.

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Apply a small amount to the forearm only before applying it to other places and then wait to see if you get a reaction which can be immediate or delayed.” He also recommends waiting until the next day after patch testing and to always refer to the oil’s label for instructions on dosage.

When it comes to your body, caution is your ally.

So far, the only oils confirmed to be hormonal mimics are lavender and tea tree oils, according to Ramsay and Korach. And while more research is needed to determine how they might affect children and women who are pregnant or breastfeeding, we should also keep in mind that, according to the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, even small amounts of “endocrine disruptors may pose the greatest risk during prenatal and early postnatal development when organ and neural systems are forming.”

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And while these oils contain their risks, McLaughlin believes the study lacks any substantial evidence. “Frankly, the plastic water bottles people drink out of and the soy-laden food additives are a much higher concern,” she says.
Although you can’t predict how your body will respond, at the end of the day, consulting with your doctor and erring on the side of precaution is your safest bet when it comes to using essential oils. And lastly: When in doubt, dilute, dilute, dilute!

Categories
Nosh Nutrition x Advice

These Seemingly Healthy Foods May Be Sabotaging Your Fitness Goals

It’s noon, your stomach is rumbling, and you’re trying to eat healthy. Scarfing down a bunch of guac for lunch sounds like a healthier choice than, say, scarfing down a bunch of cheese fries. The latter obviously has the bad kind of fat, whereas we all know avocados are notorious for being good (the monounsaturated kind of good), thus helping us fend off high cholesterol and belly fat.

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So, this translates to eat as much as you want, right? Ah, if only.
According to Dianah T. Lake, MD, and fitness competitor and board-certified New Jersey emergency medical physician, we often hurt ourselves when indulging in these foods because we tend to overeat them, believing we’re doing something healthy for our bodies. And while many of us will generally steer clear of all those ultra-processed snacks that make up over half the foods in the average American diet, eating clean isn’t a substitute for paying attention to the amount we consume.
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It turns out even seemingly harmless (aka frenemy) foods can interfere with our weight and fitness goals. Almonds, avocados, and other high-fat snacks provide many valuable nutrients, but they are also calorically dense, says Laura Arndt, a Washington, D.C. certified personal trainer and CEO of Matriarc, a health and fitness resource for new mothers.
These tempting pitfalls could possibly derail hard-earned fitness goals, but fear not; just as we can retrain our brain to enjoy healthier foods, we can start making better choices about what we’re already snacking on. Here are four frenemy foods to look out for and ways to prevent them from sabotaging your hard work.

1. Frenemy Food: Avocado

Okay, let’s not get too carried away—you can quit hiding the avocado under your desk, we’re not confiscating it. The trouble is, most people tend to eat half an avocado when a serving is actually one-fifth of a medium-sized one, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Consuming more than that increases your calorie and fat intake, which may, in turn, sabotage your overall fitness goals.

Keep an eye on portions.

While healthy fats are good for us, the right quantity matters. “People that do not track the amount or measure [these foods] may find they are consuming more calories than they are burning, causing them to stay at a weight-loss plateau or even gain body fat,” says Arndt.

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She recommends creating serving sizes for each day and making sure to stick to the amount you pre-measured: “Make sure you understand what a serving size is for your particular food, and then put it into individual bags or containers you can take on the go.”

2. Frenemy Food: Bananas

Luckily, the sugar content in these luxurious treats is only slightly high—not so high that it will derail your healthy meal plan. However, if you’re on a low-glycemic diet—bananas are one of the higher-ranking fruits on the glycemic index—Lake recommends only eating half a banana to limit the carbs and sugar.

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If you’re trying to meet your recommended potassium intake for the day, which is about 4.7 milligrams, kiwifruit will offer you more potassium than a serving of banana. They also boast more vitamin C than an orange and can be a great alternative food, Lake says.

When you eat makes all the difference.

Experts believe consuming a lot of fruit late at night is way too much sugar late in the day, which can cause irregular sleep patterns and may plateau your weight loss. Bananas and other fruit high in carbs are good in a pre- or post-workout smoothie, so long as they are balanced with fat and protein. In other words, make sure to keep all your carb-heavy foods reserved for earlier in the day, rather than later.

3. Frenemy Food: Nuts

Raise your hand if you’ve ever reached into a bag of mixed nuts and didn’t stop reaching until it was empty? Well, with those few handfuls, you easily added an extra 500 to 700 calories to your daily intake.
[pullquote align=”center”]“If you don’t utilize the energy you consume, your body will store it as fat.”
—Jill McKay, certified personal trainer[/pullquote]
Nuts are rich in vitamins and high in protein. But, as Lake notes, they are also fairly caloric. One serving is typically 12 to 15 nuts (not the entire bag—got it).

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“The problem is most people easily consume two to four servings of nuts in one sitting, which leads to excess caloric intake,” Lake says.

Sweat it off.

“If you don’t utilize the energy you consume, your body will store it as fat,” says Jill McKay, a certified personal trainer. This is a big no-no for your heart. According to the American Heart Association, we should aim for “40 minutes of aerobic exercise of moderate to vigorous intensity three to four times a week.” Of course, while upping our workout routine doesn’t give us a free pass from much-needed portion control, it can help balance things out.

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If you’re looking for a good routine to burn that bag of almonds you just devoured, these inspired moves can help you sweat off the added calories.

4. Frenemy Food: Honey

We saved this one for last since we know those with a sweet tooth might feel personally attacked. Honey is another healthy food that is overly consumed due to its presumed health benefits. However, it’s easy to overdo it with honey; a 64-calorie serving size of honey is only one tablespoon, and being so thick, it can add up quick.

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Balance is key.

Lake recommends using honey sparingly to enjoy the health perks while avoiding the extra calories. Despite the higher caloric value, she says she still favors honey over refined sugar for its greater nutritional benefits.

Staying on Track

In addition to the advice above, here are a few more recommendations for staying on track with your weight maintenance goals.

Stick to complex carbs.

In general, Lake advises her patients and fitness clients to stick with foods with complex carbs, which are rich in fiber and starch. Switching to these nutritious foods can further aid weight management efforts and help reduce or avoid blood sugar spikes.
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To keep your carb intake complex, Lake recommends sweet potatoes, sprouted grains, low glycemic fruits like berries, apples, and kiwifruit, and dark leafy veggies such as spinach, arugula, and kale.

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Since fiber-rich food is slower to digest, you’ll feel full for longer periods of time and have steadier energy throughout the day.

Choose proper proteins.

First, the start of the show: lean proteins. They help build muscle and are packed with nutrients the body needs, and sources include white meat poultry, pork tenderloin, eggs, lean beef, soy, and beans.
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We also shouldn’t forget protein from the sea. Fish, particularly the fatty kinds, contain loads of omega-3 fatty acids. These are great for cleansing the body of free radicals, reducing inflammation, and promoting liver detoxification—all of which improves fat breakdown and metabolism. The American Heart Association recommends eating at least two servings of fatty fish a week.
Just to double down on fish: Past research indicates that the more fish we consume, the more we help decrease the risk of heart problems.

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Good plant-based sources of omega-3 fatty acids include flaxseed and flaxseed oil, canola oil, [linkbuilder id=”6637″ text=”soybean oil”], and walnuts. Remember, though, to consume these things in moderation.
If you’re looking for some ideas for incorporating more of these healthy fats into your meal plan, check out these yummy suggestions for cooking salmon (which is also a great source of vitamin B12).

Stay hydrated.

According to one study, nearly 83 percent of adult women aren’t hydrated enough, which can cause countless ills including fuzzy thinking, mood changes, constipation, and kidney stones. Aside from these health hazards, we’re also far more likely to overindulge on snacks when we’re dehydrated.

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In fact, if you find yourself feeling more fatigued than usual and having [linkbuilder id=”6558″ text=”sudden hunger”] pangs, it could be your body’s way of interpreting thirst as hunger. It is also more likely that you’ll grab any sugary beverage in sight.
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Wondering how you can tell one from the other? Pay special attention to pain in your joints or mysterious headaches that seem to come out of nowhere; this is your body trying to tell you something.
Getting enough water isn’t only helpful in curbing needless snacking: It also helps our bodies regulate blood sugar and oxygen levels. Try drinking a glass of water first before reaching for that bag of nuts. If you’re feeling especially ambitious, take your doctor’s advice and shoot for the lofty 11.5 cups of fluid a day.
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For those who aren’t exactly motivated by plain, old-fashioned H2O, try jazzing up your hydration with these (brilliant and practical) infused water recipes.

A Healthy Balance

Simply put, the best thing we can do to keep up with our weight and fitness goals, according to experts, is the most obvious: Learn to balance out our [linkbuilder id=”6557″ text=”food choices”]. This means eating a moderate combo of fruits, carbs, veggies, proteins, and fats. And remember, it’s not about cutting out all our favorite foods—it’s about eating smarter and making better choices. So, while we can’t go all out with the guac anymore (I’m saying this more to myself than anyone else!), a little planning and portion control can do a body good.