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The Truth About How Grocery Stores Are Designed To Make You Buy More Stuff

If you’re like most Americans, you spend a lot of time in your local grocery market.
According to statistics website Statista, the average U.S. consumer goes grocery shopping 1.5 times per week. Those shopping trips are big business: Grocery sales generated over $600 billion in 2015.
To keep you spending, your local grocer employs some nifty marketing tricks. That’s not to say that they’re doing anything shady, exactly.

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J. Emilio Flores/The New York Times

“[Marketing] used to be all about the product, now it’s all about the customer’s experience,” Georganne Bender, partner at Kizer & Bender. Her firm helps retailers design store layouts, market new products, and improve their sales. “Obviously, there’s a benefit to the retailer, but the purpose of it is to make people feel better when they’re in the store and make it easy for them.”
We spoke with Bender to find out about the methods that grocery stores use to keep shoppers moving—and how some of those techniques can compel people to buy things they don’t really need.

The supermarket starts selling as soon as you walk in the door.

Well, to be fair, the selling starts before you walk in the door, since retailers carefully control things like parking space availability to ensure a positive experience. Once you’re in, however, you’ll be immediately presented with a selection of seasonal items.
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“When you go into stores, you’ll see things called merchandise outposts, which are generally tables of merchandise that is somewhere in the aisles of the store,” Bender says, “but because there’s an event or holiday coming up, they bring it out to other areas of the store. It’s called cross-merchandising.”
The merchandise outpost is a type of “speed bump,” and whether or not you buy something, you’ll likely pause for a moment to check out the new items.
“They work the same way speed bumps in parking lots work,” Bender says. “They slow you down. When you walk into a store, you’re thinking about all of the things you have to do for the day, and your list, and you’re getting your kids organized. When you walk in, they want to put something that makes you stop and look.”
If you’re moving more slowly, you’re more prone to making an impulsive purchase or adding a few items to your list.

They put the products they really want you to notice at eye level.

This might not come as a surprise; most parents already know that retailers keep candies and sweet cereals at kids’ eye levels.
[pullquote align=”center”]“Eye level is considered buy level.”
—Georganne Bender[/pullquote]
“When kids walk down the aisle, they see candy and ask Mom for it,” Bender says. Retailers also make sure that adults walk right past the must-see items.
“Eye level is considered buy level,” Bender says. “It’s exactly 5 foot 4 inches, the height of an average woman.”
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Name-brand items are typically the more expensive products in grocery stores, and that’s why they want you to buy them. To help persuade you, stores place these items at eye level so you’re less likely to keep searching the shelves once you see them.
Recently, a new trend called “vertical slicing” has started replacing some eye-level positioning. The retailers lay out items across several shelves in vertical “slices,” which keeps the brand in front of customer’s eyes.

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Melissa Lukenbaugh/The New York Times

“Say there’s a display and it’s got four different kinds of liquid detergent, they’ll put a vertical slice of [each] one. It doesn’t matter which shelf the customer’s looking at, they’re going to see that product.”

They understand that you shop differently if you’re eating healthy.

“We’ve been kind of trained from the time we were little, when we went shopping with our parents, that you grab a shopping cart and you go up and down every aisle,” Bender says.

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“But if you’re eating healthier, there’s a good chance that you don’t go up and down every aisle,” she continues. “You just shop the perimeter.”
Store owners know that, so they’ll place must-see items in “end caps,” which cap off each aisle.
“The end caps [near the] meat department might be something that they don’t want you to miss,” Bender says. “They’ll put the things they don’t want you to miss in areas adjacent to the perimeter, sometimes in the perimeter.”
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If you’re trying to eat healthy, you might want to avoid those end caps entirely. Good luck—they’re designed to grab your attention.

The milk’s in the back, but probably not for the reason you’d expect.

Retailers typically put milk, eggs, and other essentials toward the back of the store. That’s to get people to walk through the entire store to get those must-have items, right?
[pullquote align=”center”]“I tell the retailers to put the milk in the front of the store for the convenience of the customers, and the retailers, typically, ignore my advice.”
—Burt Flickinger[/pullquote]
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Well, not exactly. Milk needs to stay cold (duh), and the freezers and refrigerators are typically in the back. They could build the refrigerators in the front, but they don’t.
Why? NPR’s Planet Money interviewed a few experts to find out, but their results weren’t exactly conclusive.
“I tell the retailers to put the milk in the front of the store for the convenience of the customers, and the retailers, typically, ignore my advice and put the milk in the back of the store where they’ve been putting it for 70 to 80 years,” retail consultant Burt Flickinger told the show.
While grocery store designers carefully plan out every aspect of the shopping experience, they’re creatures of habit just like everyone else. While some might put those necessities in the back as a way of upselling customers, most simply do it because they’ve never considered the alternative.

Many stores have scent machines, and when they don’t, they improvise.

Fragrances can be incredibly compelling to shoppers. Scent marketing services like ScentAir help retailers retain their customers by pumping certain aromas through stores with discreet devices (they offer similar services for casinos and other businesses).
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“It’s called aromacology,” Bender says. “When we smell something, it takes us back immediately to the first place we smelled it. So if you walk through the bakery and smell chocolate chip cookies, there’s a really good chance that that’s going to take you back to being a little kid at home with your mom or Grandma making cookies. Scents make us feel good.”
“That’s why, if the store’s not using a machine like a ScentAir machine, they’ll either have flowers right near the front door, or the bakery’s close to the front door. It puts us in a good mood. ”

That music is nice and upbeat for a reason.

Ever find yourself tapping your toe as you make your way down the aisles? Stores select music very carefully to keep you shopping. They pay hefty music licensing fees to organizations like ASCAP, and many also invest in services like SiriusXM Music for Business, which pipes in carefully tailored playlists to keep shoppers in a good mood.
[pullquote align=”center”]“Disco is the sound of money.”
—Georganne Bender[/pullquote]
“They play music because it’s comforting for you to shop with music,” Bender says, “and the type of store [determines] the type of music they play. When Rich [Kizer] and I are designing stores, we always tell them to play upbeat music like disco.”
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Yes, you read that right: disco.
“Disco is the sound of money,” she says. “It doesn’t matter how old you are, the beat makes you feel good. You’ll stay longer in the store, and you’ll spend more.”
We’ve never heard disco described as “the sound of money,” but somehow, that sounds about right.
Some major retail chains are trying to change this tactic. For decades, Target hasn’t played background music, possibly because they target mothers with young children who might appreciate the peace and quiet. Recently, the chain started introducing music in some stores in an effort to revive its sales.
“When you go into those stores, it’s too quiet,” Bender says. “If the store isn’t busy and you’re walking around a giant store and there’s no sound at all.”

They don’t redesign the store just to throw you off.

One common myth suggests that grocery stores undergo redesigns just to change their regular customers’ shopping habits. Bender says that while some retailers might occasionally reorganize their products to sell them more effectively, they try to avoid massive changes—and they certainly try to make those changes easy on their customers.
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“Our grocery store just did a complete re-lay, and it really messes you up for a while until you learn it again,” she says. “We become accustomed to where things are, and that’s why people become so loyal to their favorite grocery store. They know where everything is.”
Some stores try to make re-designs easier by positioning staff members at the end of each aisle. Bender notes that one store even handed out maps to visitors.

So there you have it: the truth about why grocery stores are the way they are.

Are they designed with profits in mind? Sure. But is it nefarious? Eh, not quite.
“[A lot of people] try to make retailers out to be these bad guys who just want your money,” Bender says. “They’re not. They’re just business people who want their customers to have a comfortable experience.”

Speaking of buying things and customer comfort: There are ways you can hack your shopping experience.

Starting off with a list—extra points if it has built-in visual cues, like a full spread of items that you can mark throughout the week as you run out—is a great way to streamline the process since you can generate the list as you go, and it’ll keep you from making any impulse buys once you’re in the store.
If you want to help save the planet, bring your own eco-friendly shopping bag (or bags, let’s be honest), and if you have a grabby baby in tow, you can help distract them from all those strategically placed, eye-level goodies by plopping them in something like this Brica Go Shop Baby Shopping Cart Cover, which comes equipped with toy loops and a smartphone pouch.
Finally, having a place in your trunk to store cold items for the drive and organize the groceries once you buy them can mean the difference between eggs and cracked eggs, ice cream and just cream—these are important distinctions, especially when your schedule or your budget won’t allow two-a-day grocery trips.

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Trending

11 Stories Of When Small Symptoms Pointed To Life-Changing Diagnoses

According to a survey by Bankrate, one in four Americans avoid going to the doctor due to the high cost of medical care. Sometimes, though, money isn’t the issue; we simply don’t believe that we’re that sick. Why spend a few hundred bucks at the doctor’s office when you’ve only got a slight sniffle?
Unfortunately, we don’t have the necessary training to diagnose our own illnesses, and while some symptoms might seem relatively minor, they can be indicative of fairly serious issues. In a recent Reddit thread, users shared their stories of small problems that had big implications.

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We collected the best of these stories, edited them slightly for readability, and share them here as cautionary tales. 
If you’re thinking about putting off that next routine checkup, these stories might change your mind.

1. Even when one doctor gives you a clean bill of health, you might need a second opinion.

“When I was deployed to Afghanistan as a medic, a medevac pilot came in because he had a small abnormality on his flight physical electrocardiogram (EKG),” Reddit user Absolute906 wrote. “Apparently, this was something he had been getting waivers for years for.”
In other words, the pilot was familiar with the problem, but as far as he knew, it wasn’t really a problem—or at least, it wasn’t anything that would stop him from working.

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“I had just finished an [anatomy and physiology] class and had learned about something called Brugada syndrome, which is basically an arrhythmia that causes sudden cardiac death in the patient. I jokingly mentioned how his EKG reminded me of the abnormality I saw in my textbook, thinking there was no way he actually had it. It had to be [an] artifact from the EKG.”

“The doctor’s eyes widened and he sprinted out of the office,” they continued. “The pilot had it. He was immediately relieved of flight duty, sent home, and had a defibrillator put into his heart before being medically retired.”
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“I accidentally diagnosed a man with certain death.”
That’s the pessimistic perspective; looking at it another way, Absolute906 had almost certainly saved the pilot from certain death. Brugada syndrome typically causes sudden death around age 40, and because it’s so rare—it’s thought to affect 5 out of every 10,000 people—it’s often missed or ignored until it’s too late.  

2. Bad headaches can certainly indicate a serious issue.

We’ve covered this beforeheadaches can be a serious symptom when they’re frequent or excessively painful. When you can describe a headache as “the worst I’ve ever had,” it’s certainly time to head to your family physician’s office.
“When I was 12, I had a crazy bad headache that wouldn’t go away,” wrote user muffinlova. “My dad brought me to the doctor, and I didn’t even make it to the exam room before they turned me back and sent us to the hospital.”

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“It turns out my headache was from a burst sinus cavity…as in, all the bones around my eye broke, and the liquid leaked back onto my brain, giving me brain meningitis. My eye was bulging out to the point where I looked like an alien, and they told my parents I was not going to make it.”
“Obviously, I pulled through, but I was hospitalized for two weeks and missed two months of school. I was, at the time, only the third known case of this happening, and they had flown in doctors from all over the US and from the UK. Crazy stuff.”

3. Even if you feel perfectly healthy, trust your physician.

Reddit user ThePicklests father used to be a powerlifter. The key word there is “used to.” One day, he felt some unusual pain, so he went to the doctor’s office.
“A nurse comes in to the room, looks down at her chart, looks back up and says, ‘Mr. Pickle, you are having a heart attack.’ He got up on the bed and flexed, saying, ‘Does this look like a man that’s having a heart attack to you?'”
“She looked back down at her chart, up again, and says ‘Yes.’”

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Cardiac arrest can have a variety of symptoms, including fatigue, sweating, nausea, and cold or clammy skin (we’ve got a more detailed list of symptoms here). Mr. Pickle—and yes, we love saying that—made a classic mistake by assuming that heart attacks can only affect people who appear obviously unhealthy. Heart attacks don’t always look like they do in the movies; more often than not, they’re surprisingly subtle.
Fortunately, he lived through the episode, although he’s since passed away due to unrelated issues. ThePicklest notes that his father quit powerlifting a short time later and became “way more laid back.”
“He started running more than lifting, and learned to appreciate food a lot more. This was his favorite story to tell.”

4. Any sudden numbness certainly deserves medical attention.

“My mother woke up one day and her arm was numb,” user Stylophonics wrote. “After about 45 minutes, it will still pretty numb. She thought she had pinched a nerve in it sleeping, but went to the ER just in case.”
“She had had a stroke, which actually was caused by a blood clot, which moved up from her heart and exited a hole in her heart—a congenital defect she was unaware she had.”

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She ended up fine and the feeling in her arm came back,” Stylophonics continued, “but she was incredibly lucky that it did.”
Strokes are the leading preventable cause of disability, and by one estimate, 33 percent of Americans have had “mini-strokes” without realizing it. Each year, about 800,000 Americans have strokes. We’re really not trying to scare you—we’re just hoping that some cold, hard numbers help to show the reality.
The good news: Early diagnosis and treatment can greatly reduce the risk of long-term effects. The bad news: You’ve got to actually head to the doctor in order to receive said treatment.

5. Occasionally, physicians miss key symptoms for years…or decades.

“I was in a fender bender car accident—I was at fault—and my lower back would not stop aching,” wrote one Reddit user. “I went into the ER, figuring I had sprained the muscles in my back and that I would be prescribed muscle relaxers and maybe some pain pills.”
Of course, that wasn’t the case. The doctors seemed keenly interested in the patient’s bizarre results.

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“Six hours, several x-rays, a CT scan, and four doctors later, I found out my spine was broken and—get this—healed. The best theory any of them could come up with was that my spine had broken during birth, and since we never knew, it just healed itself, filling in with cartilage.”
“One of the doctors told me that, had we known my spine broke at birth, I would have likely never walked. I would have been treated as handicapped my whole life. I didn’t find out until I was 20, and I already had a child. My mom cried because she always thought I was just a really colicky baby, when in fact I was probably in a lot of pain.”

6. When your doctor’s exam procedures seem extreme, go along with them.

“I have male pattern baldness and needed a prescription for some hair growth medication from a dermatologist,” wrote Redditor mattigus. “The doctor said he would give me a prescription, but first wanted to do a full skin check-up, which he does for every new patient. I got annoyed by the fact that I had to strip … in front of this guy just for my hair medicine.”

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Hey, there’s a reason that the most effective medicines require a prescription—the physician has to check to make sure that you don’t have any other underlying health conditions that will affect the medication. In this case, that underlying condition was extremely serious.
“A few weeks later, I get a call,” he explained. “There was melanoma cancer on my back. They caught it early enough that it hadn’t spread. That checkup saved my life.”

7. Remember, serious symptoms aren’t always painful.

Reddit user so_illogical said that he might have bit the big one (pun intended) if he hadn’t checked up on some weird symptoms after a routine dental procedure.
“I was taking antibiotics for dental work and noticed these weird blisters showing up everywhere,” they wrote. “Weird, but whatever. 48 hours later, they started opening up, leaving holes in my skin—no blood, I just lost most of the skin in that area. Again, weird, but I was working, so whatever.”

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“Then they started appearing in my throat so I got to the hospital ASAP and was diagnosed immediately with Steven-Johnson syndrome. Any longer, and the layers of my skin would have literally peeled away from each other and I would have died. That was a sobering day.”
And people wonder why we hate the dentist.

8. When your physician recommends a CT scan, go for it.

“I had gallstones for three years or so before I finally got my gallbladder ripped out last year,” Redditor dude_icus wrote, using some unnecessarily violent verbiage. “At its worst, I was getting an attack maybe once a month or so, so I figured it couldn’t be that bad.”

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“I went to the surgeon for my post-op check-up,” he explained. “He told me that my gallbladder was filled with hundreds of stones of varying sizes, and that it was precancerous. Apparently, people don’t typically get gallbladder cancer until they are in their 80s or 90s. It is often very serious because people don’t catch it right away. I’m in my 20s, and like I said, I had been sitting on this problem for three years for I finally toughened up enough to get it checked out.”
The moral of the story: If you notice a new medical problem, don’t wait to head to the doctor—even if you’re fairly confident that you know what’s happening. You’ve got nothing to lose but your health.

9. Some of these stories are pretty heartbreaking.

“My girlfriend is in her final rotations for radiology,” wrote Facerless. “A while back, a young girl came in after winning a basketball championship. She had some shooting shin pain, but wasn’t in a [tremendous amount] of pain, still glowing from the win and talking excitedly about a scholarship offer.”

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“When her scan came back, about 60 percent of the marrow in her tibia was one big sarcoma (meaning cancer). Surgery and therapy essentially ended her shot at a full ride.”
Still, it saved her life. While losing a scholarship certainly hurts, we’re guessing that she gladly made the trade.

10. Some rare conditions can prompt a “mock pregnancy.”

“A few years ago, I took a positive pregnancy test,” Doctor_Dalek wrote (she’s not an actual doctor, despite her Whovian username).
“I went to the doctor to confirm, just thinking I would be getting some blood work done and maybe an ultrasound. They did the ultrasound, but couldn’t find a baby in my uterus, so they told me it was ectopic—implanted in a Fallopian tube—and I needed to have surgery to remove the baby.”
“I went into surgery and woke up a few hours later. The first thing I remember is seeing my parents and my fiancé crying. Turns out I was never pregnant; I actually had a tumor the size of my fist on my ovary, and my body was reacting to it like a baby. I had an HCG hormone and everything. I’m 4.5 years in remission.”

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Unfortunately, that’s not the only deeply disturbing pregnancy story on this list. Reddit user rockabillynurse is a nurse (hence the username) who was working in postpartum care when a patient came into the hospital in labor with her first child.
“She ended up requiring a C-section. In the operating room, they opened her up and found her belly full of cancerous growths. They immediately paged an oncologist at a neighboring hospital—we were just a women’s and children’s hospital—to come immediately while she was still open. It wound up being terminal. She wouldn’t even have known if she hadn’t needed that C-section.”
“Can you imagine going to the hospital to have your first baby and leaving with a diagnosis of terminal cancer? I think about her all the time.”

11. Any unusual long-term symptom certainly deserves medical attention.

“About four months after I had my son, I started to notice the vision in one of my eyes was really off,” wrote user tranquileyesme. “Blurry, spotty, etc. I didn’t really think about it much, because my eye didn’t hurt and wasn’t itchy, and I had a new baby to take care of.”
“Anyway, it lasted for months. Finally, my mom and sister convinced me I had to go to the eye doctor for it to see what was going on. I took my baby with, because I thought, ‘Hey, quick appointment. Maybe 20-30 minutes, and I’ll probably leave with some eye drops or something.'”
“Honestly, one of the worst days of my life. They put me through test after test. I was there for hours. I ended up calling my mom to come get the baby. They weren’t telling me anything. They scheduled an MRI for the next morning, because by this time, my 11 a.m. appointment had dragged out until 5:30 p.m., and the clinic was closed. We were the only people there. Still no answers. I am freaking out.”

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“[I] go back the next day and get the MRI done,” she continued. “They send me to the neurologist this time—no eye doctors today. When I walk in, he has all the results from my tests the day before and the MRI I had just taken a while before. I was told I had multiple sclerosis. It was very scary.”
She says she’s doing well, thanks to a supportive family and a firm commitment to her therapy.
“The first years were the hardest, with [having] a toddler and learning to adjust. Now he’s 10 and more self-sufficient. We decided not to have more children, which was really hard, but overall the best decision for our family.”

So, how do you know whether you really need to see your physician?

When in doubt, go ahead and set up an appointment. No one’s going to accuse you of being a hypochondriac just because you checked out some unusual symptoms, and as these stories demonstrate, you’re better safe than sorry.
“As a physician: listen to your bodies,” user Doctorpayne wrote. “You guys know yourselves much better than we will even after talking to you in an emergency room for 5-10 minutes. If something is going on that is far outside the usual, please come in to the ER. I would much rather see you and tell you you’re fine [rather than] than sick beyond the point of repair.”
With that said, don’t overreact if you’ve experienced any of the symptoms in this article. These stories are notable because they’re the exception; chances are good that you’ll be perfectly fine. Still, it never hurts to stay on top of your health.

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In Season Lifestyle

The Complete Guide To Safely Trick-Or-Treating On Halloween

For kids, Halloween is an exciting time. According to one source, about 36.1 million children go trick-or-treating every year—and that’s in the United States alone. It’s our favorite holiday of the year, outside of National Meow Like a Pirate Day, and we certainly don’t want to scare anyone away from the seasonal activities.
However, if you’re a parent, your experience with Halloween likely involves a lot of worrying.  While 93 percent of households consider their neighborhoods to be safe (link opens a PDF), it’s hard to shake the feeling that the holiday is at least slightly dangerous (particularly when you see hundreds of zombies and ghouls roaming your streets).

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The good news is that with proper planning, trick-or-treating is a perfectly safe and fun activity. It’s a good way to get exercise, make memories, and most importantly, get massive amounts of candy from your unsuspecting neighbors.
Here are a few tips for a happy and healthy Halloween, along with a few (hopefully) helpful product suggestions to help you plan for the season.

1. Make sure that your children go out wearing reflective gear.

We’d love to tell you that every driver exercises a little extra caution on Halloween night, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. According to the National Safety Council, children are more than twice as likely to be fatally struck by a vehicle on Halloween than on any other day of the year.
It’s not too difficult to determine why that’s the case: On Halloween, hundreds of kids walk the streets in the dusk, and drivers have a harder time seeing in low-light conditions. Before your kids head out—hopefully with an adult or an older teenager in tow—teach them to make contact with drivers before crossing the road.


Make sure that they’re not hitting the streets glued to their phones or other electronic devices, which cause an unnecessary distraction (while also limiting them from getting the true Halloween experience, in our opinion).  Remind them that every car is a potential threat, even if it’s parked; many injuries occur when kids dart between parked cars right as drivers are starting to move.
And while this might be somewhat obvious, reflective materials are absolutely essential, even if your kids won’t be trick-or-treating in complete darkness. One study found that reflective materials are most effective when applied to pedestrians’ joints, as opposed to their torsos, but really, the more reflectivity you can build into a costume, the better.

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Your kids probably won’t want to wear reflective vests, but fortunately, that’s not necessary. You can get a cheap roll of reflective tape (Gear Aid’s reflective tape, available here on Amazon, is our choice), apply a few strips, and improve the safety of just about any article of clothing.
You might even find ways to use the tape as part of the costume—easy enough if your kid’s going as the Tin Man, slightly more difficult if they’re going as a ghost.

2. Try to incorporate lighter colors into your kid’s costumes.

We know, we know—Halloween’s all about scary stuff, and nobody wants to be a bright-yellow zombie. However, if you can push your kids toward brighter, lighter costumes, you’ll make them significantly more visible on dark streets, limiting their chances of an accident. Choose bright materials and accessories. Even something like a simple LED light bracelet can improve safety dramatically.

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If that’s not ideal, you can look for other ways to bring a little light to your child’s trick-or-treating gear. A glow-in-the-dark candy bucket (here’s a great one with a removable LED) is a great example; they allow you to easily identify your child from a distance, and kids will love the spooky glow. What’s the downside, other than all that extra room for sugar?
Make sure to test the product in question before the big day. Some “reflective” items don’t really reflect that much light, so a quick test run will allow you to accurately gauge the product’s effectiveness (while giving your kid an excuse to put on their costume).


To perform a simple test, have your kid stand in a dark room and shine a decent flashlight past them. You’ll be surprised at how high-quality reflective materials can catch your eye—and you’ll have some additional peace of mind when Halloween rolls around.

3. Keep your trick-or-treater’s eyes clear.

We realize that this may take some of the fun out of Halloween, but masks impede your child’s vision, making an accidental trip much more likely. While older kids can safely wear masks, younger kids should avoid them.
The good news is that you really don’t need masks. Face paint is more fun, and it’s often less expensive. This kit off Amazon uses lab-tested, paraben-free ingredients, and it’s gentle on sensitive skin.

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Even so, you should always test costume makeup in a small area before applying it to sensitive skin. If you notice any signs of irritation, move to your backup plan. Remember, some products can become more irritating over time, so make sure to remove all makeup and body paint before your child goes to sleep.
If that sounds like a ton of work, you can always choose a costume that leaves your kid’s face exposed; we’ve got rundowns of some excellent options for kids 6 to 12 here, along with a list of toddler costumes here.
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If you do decide to use a mask, make sure that your child can see, particularly when it comes to their peripheral vision. Make sure that the mask fits your child’s face, and remind them that it’s okay to flip the mask up while walking (not running) from house to house.
Don’t be afraid to cut the eye holes a bit wider if necessary. While it might feel like you’re ruining the costume, you might actually be saving Halloween.

4. Watch out for costumes with pointy accessories, even if they seem fairly blunt.

“There are sharp objects in particular in pirate costumes or swords for Star Wars costumes,” Marie Crandall, MD, told News 4 regarding dangerous costume components. “Another big risk is eye injuries, and you don’t want to wear an eye patch after Halloween.”
For that matter, you don’t really want to wear an eye patch during Halloween, since it can seriously inhibit depth perception, but we get her point: Sharp accessories are a serious no-no, even if they make a costume look more authentic.

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For what it’s worth, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend that costume accessories “should be short, soft, and flexible.” Foam products certainly fit into that description; plastics, not so much.
Foam swords like these are a great and inexpensive option. You could also allow your kid to bring out the accessories for the pre-trick-or-treating photos, but leave them at home when they actually hit the streets.

5. Get high-quality flashlights capable of lighting the ground immediately in front of your child.

Unfortunately, glow sticks don’t provide enough light to walk safely from house to house, so while all of your neighbors’ kids might use them, you’ll want something more effective.
Every trick-or-treater should have a working flashlight to avoid accidental trips and falls. You certainly don’t want to spend Halloween night nursing skinned knees and comforting crying toddlers—not when you could spend that time sneaking bites of their candy stash.

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Avoid the cheap Halloween-themed flashlights you find at big-box stores unless the packaging shows an actual light rating. Anything less than 35–60 lumens probably won’t light the way too effectively once you’re actually outdoors (although your mileage will vary, depending on the amount of natural light and other factors). Look for a flashlight with multiple light settings and a fairly wide lumen range, and you’ll be in good shape. We recommend the Outlight A100, a high-quality flashlight with a water-resistant design and a budget-friendly price tag.
With that said, any camping flashlight should do the job nicely. Just be sure to check your batteries before you leave the house—and if you’re trick-or-treating with multiple kids, make sure that they’ve each got their own light source.

6. Choose safe, protective shoes.

Costume shoes usually don’t work for safe trick-or-treating, especially past dusk. They’re often too thin to properly protect your kids’ feet, and because sizing ranges greatly from one manufacturer to the next, they can cause blisters—not what you’d want at the end of a long night with a tired toddler.  
Really, any high-quality shoes will work, provided that they aren’t heels. Shinmax offers an affordable set of LED shoes with rechargeable lights, which will bring some much-needed illumination to Halloween night. You can get them on Amazon here, but be aware that the sizing runs a little large.

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If you’ve already got some decent shoes—and believe us, we understand the importance of keeping a kid’s footwear budget under control—consider upgrading with some LED safety lights (here’s a cheap pair for under $20). They’re not totally necessary if you’ve already picked up reflective tape and a decent flashlight, but they’ll make the holiday a bit safer, and kids love them.
What Halloween-loving kid wouldn’t want glowing shoes? Heck, we’re adults, and we kind of want a pair for ourselves.

7. Don’t forget to keep your home’s walkways lit.

Kids will be walking up your pathway all night (well, if you’re lucky, anyway), so stop them from stumbling by planting a few solar lights.
While there’s no shortage of Halloween-themed pathway lights, most are cheaply made and nearly useless at night. We prefer the look of Voona solar lights, which use AA Ni-MH batteries to store a powerful charge.

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They’re slightly expensive, but they are well worth the investment as they’re one of the few items on this list that doesn’t immediately lose its value on the first day of November.
Alternately, you could pick up a smart light kit, which opens up plenty of fun possibilities on Halloween; keep them bright while your trick-or-treating victims—er, guests—walk to your house, then turn them bright red before you swing open the door.  
https://twitter.com/JoanESheehan/status/1046914758014849024
While you’re at it, consider putting up a few temporary signs warning drivers to take it slow. We’re big fans of this orange pop-up safety cone, which is portable, lightweight, and ideal for this type of application. Granted, some teenagers might snatch it, but the risk is worth it considering you’ll improve your neighborhood’s safety during trick-or-treating.

8. By all means, check candy, but realize that it’s probably not a major issue.

Check your kids’ candy, looking for any pieces that appear re-wrapped. Tell your kids to refuse homemade treats unless they’re from trusted neighbors or family members, and set a few ground rules regarding the amount of candy they’re allowed to eat at once.
Those are some pretty common-sense steps, but we should note that Halloween poisonings don’t really happen except in extremely isolated cases. Snopes.com, which investigates urban legends, says there are no documented cases in which intentionally poisoned candy was handed out randomly to trick-or-treaters—not one, not ever.

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Of course, that doesn’t mean that Halloween candy is healthy. If you’re trying to rid your household of sugar (or if you’re simply looking to limit the amount of sweets your neighborhood hands out), consider giving kids toys, temporary tattoos, and stickers instead.  Novelty assortment packs are pretty cheap, and they can give you some peace of mind—at least until the older kids start TP-ing your house.  
One more note regarding candy safety: Some objects (we’re looking at you, spider rings) can be serious choking hazards for younger children. While you’re skimming through their treat bags (and taking your share of the dreaded Parental Candy Tax), be sure to separate those items from the rest of the stash.

9. If your kids are heading out alone, you’ll need to take some extra precautions.

Should you let your 10-year-old head out onto the streets alone? That’s a difficult question, and the answer varies from parent to parent. Some experts believe that solo trick-or-treating is an important part of childhood.
“When you say it’s all too dangerous because your children don’t know how to cross the street, and all your neighbors are awful … then you are giving up on your neighborhood and your child,” notes Lenore Skenazy, the author of the controversial book Free-Range Kids.
If you’re considering the question, you probably know what’s right for your family. Ideally, your kid won’t be truly “alone,” but heading out with friends, so a logical first step is to make sure that all of their parents are aware of the situation.

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Next, talk over acceptable trick-or-treat routes and set ground rules for talking with strangers. Make sure that your child knows what to do if they get lost, and make sure they’ve got a way to contact you if necessary. If they’re old enough to head out alone, they’re old enough to hold onto a phone—at least for one night, anyway.
Tell them to only visit well-lit houses, and to never enter anyone’s house for candy (unless it’s a well-known, trusted friend—we’d even recommend giving them a specific list of houses that meet those criteria). Many homes set out candles and other luminaries during Halloween; tell kids to avoid standing near these, especially if they’re wearing flammable materials.

10. Finally, make sure to keep your other Halloween activities as safe as possible.

If you’re carving jack-o-lanterns, allow your kids to help during the planning stages, but don’t let younger kids anywhere near your carving tools. That’s just asking for trouble.
“The most common accidents associated with pumpkin carving are stab wounds to the fingers and palm,” Stuart J. Elkowitz, MD, assistant clinical professor at NYU Langone Medical Center in the division of hand surgery, tells Consumer Reports.
Sure, that’s obvious, but doesn’t it sound much more official when an actual doctor says it?

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Older kids can help out, but to stay safe, consider investing in some cut-resistant gloves. Wislife offers an affordable (and highly reviewed) pair that meets EN388 cutting resistance standards; get them here.
Note that these gloves don’t protect in all circumstances, so you’ll still want to guide your kids through their first pumpkin carvings. This is a good opportunity to teach the basics of knife safety, too, by the way: Always cut away from yourself, don’t apply unnecessary pressure, and keep your knives clean and sharp.
While we’re on the subject, specialized pumpkin carving kits can make the process much safer (and improve the quality of the finished product). This kit, for example, includes two saws, a poker, and a scoop, and the saws’ serrated edges will provide much more precise cuts than a standard kitchen knife.
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You can even find professional-level pumpkin carving kits, which come with a variety of high-quality saws. Sure, it might be overkill, but high-quality kits will last for years, while the cheaper options are only good for one or two gourds.
Ultimately, Halloween doesn’t have to be a frightening time for parents (well, not frightening in a bad way, anyways). Use common sense, communicate with your kids, and make sure you’re prepared. When All Hallow’s Eve rolls around, you’ll be able to relax with a nice glass of apple cider while the kids enjoy the holiday.

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Lifestyle

People Share Their Worst Bridezilla Stories, And They’re Incredible

If you want a perfect wedding, you’re going to have to put in a lot of work—and a ton of money. The average wedding costs an astounding $33,391, according to a survey from wedding website The Knot. Given that expense, perhaps it’s not surprising that some people freak out when their big days don’t go exactly as planned.
Recently, Reddit users shared their stories of terrible bridezillas (and, in one case, a maid-of-honorzilla). They’re pretty horrific, and therefore, incredibly entertaining. We collected a few of the best, then edited them slightly to improve readability.

When you’re getting married, you want everything to go perfectly.

That’s fine; just make sure you’re not putting any undue stress on the other members of your wedding party.
“I’m a bridal wear designer, and I’ve worked for a few medium- to large-sized brands as well as for individual clients,” wrote Bugalugandpen. “I started off working in a boutique selling bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, and all the stuff that goes with it.”

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“At the end of a very hot, very busy Saturday while I was working on my own, a glamorous and slender bridal party walk in. The bride, mother, and three maids have come to see their bridesmaid dresses, then try them on to be altered. They’d ordered them about four months prior.”
“These dresses were the ‘hot’ thing at the time. All seemed fine. First, the bridesmaids come out, and I pinned the hem and talked them through any additional stuff. The mother is super picky, and the bride is very much obsessed with her ‘perfect day.’ but that’s pretty much normal.”
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“The last bridesmaid comes out, and the hem is lifted over an inch from the ground on her left side, but is over two inches too long for the rest of the hem, so it looks incredibly wonky. The bride nearly breaks down and mother goes basically catatonic. They’re yelling that the wedding is ruined, they’re going to sue us to hell, etc.”
“The bridesmaid looks rather sheepish. I offered to get them a new dress and promised it would be sorted out. I needed to talk to the owner to get full details, but it would be resolved within a week.”
“I had a suspicion, so I went into the changing room with the bridesmaid to ‘help her out of the dress,’ and she looked rather upset. I told her again that we could sort it, and she would look great in the end, but it didn’t seem to help. I asked if everything was okay or if there is something she wants to tell me.”
“She nearly bursts into tears and tells me that she so sorry, but she’s pregnant. She’d been trying for a while, but the bride had told her she wasn’t allowed to get pregnant and ruin her wedding.”
“She was only at four weeks, but with the style of dress, it meant the fabric lifted with just the tiniest of bumps. You really have to be a flat-stomached wonder, or those dresses do weird things.”
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“She was really stressed about not being able to tell anyone until after the wedding, and worrying about getting through the bachelorette party without anyone realizing she was pregnant. The bride would lose it with her. I was in a difficult place because the bride was threatening us for something that wasn’t our fault.”
“I agreed with the bridesmaid that I wouldn’t say anything, but after the wedding, she would need to tell the bride that we helped—not hindered—the situation! She was super grateful, and I managed to fix the dress for her, but she paid for it (the bride thought we were covering it). The bride did send in a ‘Thank You’ card after the wedding, so I guess it all worked out in the end for her.”

Wedding photography isn’t as easy as it looks.

If a friend offers to take photos for your wedding, you should probably refuse; professional photographers might be expensive, but you get what you pay for. If you’re lucky enough to know a professional who’s willing to do the work at a discount rate, by all means, take the deal—but don’t complain afterward.
“I am a commercial photographer, not a wedding photographer,” explained Hooklinensinkr. “My best friend since first grade asked me to photograph his twin sister’s wedding because they don’t have the budget for a professional that specializes in weddings. I figure out my costs and tell them I’ll do it for a break-even fee of $400—about ¼ of what they’d pay otherwise—and they agree.”

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“They’re supposed to pay me on the day. Things are going on, the bride’s panicking. She doesn’t have her checkbook, but promises to pay cash later. I said ‘Okay.’ I follow them around from 9:30 a.m. to 1:00 a.m., hearing from both the bride and groom that they’ve got enough cash as gifts that they could settle up right away. It never happens. They’ll transfer it to me via email—again, fine.”
“A week later I’m about 10 hours into what would become 30 hours of editing the final 250 photos, and still there’s no money. The bills from my expenses are coming due. I text them, no reply. I had to ask my friend to find out that they took off on a month-long honeymoon in Europe.”
“Their dad finally called and paid me instead, and I mailed them the photos. They all went on her social media. She seemed happy, the friends and family seemed happy, but I didn’t hear a word of thanks.”
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“Six months later, she starts getting my buddy to ask me for all of the photos I took—almost 1,400—to do her own editing. Most professionals, including myself, would never allow that, and I say as much and ask why it never came up before. She starts putting s***** Instagram filters on the final photos and posting them with passive aggressive comments about how the photographer won’t come through, so she has to improve on what she’s got.”
“My buddy and I have a more strained relationship because I had to put my foot down. I don’t shoot weddings or offer friend discounts anymore, with no exceptions.”

If you’re petty at your wedding, everyone will know.

“Oh man, I have one ‘bridezilla’ I had to deal with, though thankfully at a distance,” wrote 2354PK. “One of my high school friends just got married a few weeks ago. We’ve known each other since we were in diapers, so even though I live in a different country, I RSVP’d that I’d come.”
“Now, I did it via text, because I didn’t know how long it’d take for the reply to get to her. She freaked out that I wasn’t doing it properly and [complained] that I needed to spend the money on the stamps to send it back. Okay, I get her point, even though I think it’s stupid.”

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“I ended up getting a call shortly after she got my response—three weeks later, by the way—telling me only my son and I were invited, not my husband. I asked why, and she refused to answer me, eventually telling me I shouldn’t come.”
“I talked to a friend who was standing up in the wedding party, and apparently, she made it pretty obvious she was embarrassed to be ‘marrying down.’ She was always the ‘hot one’ of our friend group, and she thought her husband wasn’t as good looking as she deserved, so she decided to not invite any of the good-looking husbands of her female friends—especially if those friends ‘weren’t as pretty as she was.’”

Whatever you do, don’t give your guests a contract.

“I was in a wedding for a girl who wasn’t a super close friend, but we each had the same best friend, so I ended up being in the wedding,” wrote AccomplishedOlive. “We had to sign a contract.”
Okay, that sounds sketchy—and the contract’s conditions were just as bad as you’d think.
“One, we wouldn’t get any fake tans, because no one was allowed to be tanner than her,” she wrote. “Also, no tan lines on our lesser tanned skin. Two, no false lashes—her lashes were to be the longest.”

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“Three, no teeth whitening. Her ‘smile was to shine the brightest,’ and that’s an exact quote from the contract. Four, $400 bridesmaid dresses and $100 shoes, plus $250 in rented jewelry, all of which we had to buy on our own—despite the fact that her family was loaded and I was so broke. Looking back, I wish I would’ve had the courage to just decline. It was awful.”
“My brother’s brother-in-law was getting married,” wrote Wildescrawl. “He had a daughter from a previous relationship who was 10 or 11 at the time of the wedding, and he had a second child that was 2 years old with this new soon-to-be wife.”
“The new wife wouldn’t allow the older daughter to be at the wedding because ‘She’s not mine and I don’t want her distracting people.’”
We’ll give you a moment to contemplate how horrible that is.

When kids are involved, these stories get especially infuriating.

“When my best friend from high school married his first wife, he asked that my then 4-year-old daughter, and his goddaughter, be a flower girl,” wrote Mrscake76. “His fiancée, Bridezilla, chose a dress for my daughter that cost $600.”
“I gently explained that we didn’t have $600 to spend on a dress. She blew up. Cried, yelled, etc. Finally, we calmed her down and found a dress at Macy’s for $80. Still way out of my price range at the time, but we made it work.”
“As we got closer to the Big Day, she called to tell me that I would need to leave early from work the Friday before the event, drive my 4-year-old daughter two hours away to spend the night with her and her friends in a hotel room, and be prepared to fork out $250 for her hair and makeup in the morning.”
“One, my daughter doesn’t really know any of you. Two, I wouldn’t trust you to care for a hamster, let alone my kid. Three, you and your sorority sisters plan to get s***faced while my kid does…what? And fourth, $250? For hair and makeup on my 4-year-old?
“No. I’ll do her hair. I’ll even let her wear a little bit of makeup—she’ll be thrilled. We’ll meet you at the church half an hour before the ceremony.”
Bridezilla agreed, on the condition that the little girl looks, ahem, presentable. She wasn’t exactly happy with the arrangement.
“On the day of the wedding, we show up with my daughter looking adorable,” Mrscake76 explained. “She napped in the car, had a snack, kept herself and her pretty dress clean, and was thrilled to be a flower girl. This was not her first flower girl gig, either. This was at least her third time. She was a pro.”

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“Bridezilla wanted her to practice before the ceremony. The poor kid got yelled at for ‘not scattering the petals evenly.’ Then she got yelled at for watching a butterfly instead of paying attention to the Bridezilla yelling at the rest of the wedding party.”
“We finally got the thing started, made it through, and went outside the church to congratulate Bridezilla and groom. My daughter came running to me and my husband for hugs, and Bridezilla freaked out. She insisted that my daughter stay with the wedding party and not go with us to the reception. My daughter was okay with that, since she knew one of the guys in the wedding party and would get to ride in the limo. She was starving, though, and when I tried to offer her one of the snacks I’d brought, Bridezilla said no way since they were going to get pictures taken.”
Somehow, it gets worse.
“We went our separate ways and waited at the reception for two hours before they finally showed up. My daughter was so hungry—she was near tears when she finally saw us. I snuck her some Goldfish crackers while the first dance and the cake cutting took place.”
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“All she wanted to do was eat and dance with her ‘uncle,’ my best friend. Bridezilla decreed that no one was allowed to dance with the groom but her. She would make an exception for him to have one dance with his mother.”
“My daughter asked her politely if she could have one dance with her uncle and was told no. When he came over and picked my daughter up to hug her, Bridezilla got mad and told him to put her down. Now that they were married, all physical affection was hers alone. I wasn’t even allowed to hug him. His mother wasn’t allowed to hug him.”
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Sort of.
“Thank God she cheated on him, and he divorced her.”

Sometimes, the bride’s not the most difficult person in the wedding party.

“We got invited to a wedding of a distant friend of my wife,” wrote DevilRenegade. “She was a former work colleague. The bride-to-be’s sister was organising everything by email. She wrote: ‘Accommodation and food for two for the weekend: £200. Please pay into my account.’”
“Fair enough—they were getting married in a castle about 200 miles away, so accommodation was a necessity. No problem so far. Then: ‘Hen night meal and drinks kitty: £150. Please pay into my account.’”

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We should note here that in the United Kingdom, a “hen night” is another name for a bachelorette party. A kitty refers to a communal pool of money. 
“Hmm; that seems steep for a meal at the local restaurant and a few drinks afterward,” DevilRenegade wrote. “Third: ‘We’ve organised a canoeing trip for the wedding party the day before the wedding: £100. Please pay into my account.’ No thanks. I had my shoulder strapped up from a sports injury at the time, so there was no way I was doing this.”
Strangely enough, the list wasn’t over.
“‘Salsa dancing class before the hen party: £50. Please pay into my account.’ I lost my [cool] with this one. I did some research and found that there was one place within a 20-mile radius of the wedding venue that did salsa-dancing classes, and they cost a lot less than £50. In fact, they cost the same amount if you multiplied the number of people on the hen party attendees’ list by £50, then took away two places for the bride and her sister.”
“In other words, she was basically setting up an awesome weekend for her and her sister, and everyone else was paying for it. I added up the costs of all her emails, and she was expecting over £500 from us before we’d even left the house. We’ve been on week-long holidays that cost less.”
“The email I sent back: ‘Will pay for our accommodation and food, and my wife’s food at the hen party only. No intention of paying for you and your sister to go canoeing, salsa dancing, or partying.’”
“The last straw was when my wife went off to the local restaurant with some of the other attendees in a taxi—whereas the bride and maid of honor had a stretch limo to themselves (which was paid for out of the hen-night kitty, we found out later).
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I planned to stay back and watch a rugby game in the hotel bar, but within an hour of her leaving, my wife called me and asked me to come and pick her up from the restaurant. It was all the bride-to-be’s close friends and family, and she wasn’t being made to feel welcome.”
“I’m not sure why the best day of someone else’s life should be the most expensive of ours.”

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Trending

Doctors Share The Most Ridiculous DIY Treatments They've Ever Seen

None of us love going to the doctor’s office. That’s why the over-the-counter medical industry is so massive; the market’s expected to exceed $178 billion by 2024, and that’s just the legitimate stuff. Add in healing crystals, homeopathic remedies, and other alternative treatments, and it’s clear that Americans will do just about anything to avoid actual medical care.
But while people have some pretty inventive home remedies, DIY treatments aren’t exactly effective. They often make the problem much worse—even if they make for great stories.
In recent Reddit threads, physicians, nurses, and other professionals shared the stories of the craziest home treatments they’ve seen. We collected a few of the best (and a few of the most disgusting), then edited them slightly for grammar and readability.  

If you didn’t go to medical school, don’t assume that you know what you’re doing.

“When I used to work in the ER, a kid had a gash across his forearm after he fell while motorbiking,” wrote YlenoLretsiM. “He and his friends superglued the two sides of the gash together.”
“I mean, maybe in a different situation—if they didn’t have access to medical care—that would be the right thing to do, but definitely not right in this situation. We needed to clean out the wound first, and the superglue did not make that process easier.”

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“A patient ‘came to be stabbed’ (it was never clear if it was self-inflicted or by someone else) out in the middle of nowhere,” wrote Everinprogress. “It was a small but very deep wound; the guy decided to avoid medical care and superglue it shut. Please don’t anyone do that with a dirty wound. I’ve never seen so much pus come out of anything.”
Duly noted. We’ll just stick with Gorilla Glue instead.
“My grandpa thought a ‘leg discrepancy’ was causing my back pain, which was causing spasms,” wrote Ambiguousmurmur. “He put several pieces of cardboard in my shoes to try to even out my legs—which were already even. He also thinks black beans cure everything.
“My dad thought those pesky spasms [were] a pinched nerve, so he would take me to the chiropractor (his girlfriend) to get my neck cracked when they happened. Seizures, people. They were seizures.”

Even podiatrists see some crazy stuff on occasion.

“Medical receptionist here,” wrote Blenneman05. “Someone tried to use the hook side of the hammer to fix his ingrown toenails and made it much much worse.”
That sounds like something from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. As it turns out, hammers aren’t great for that type of nail.
“I also had a female patient who would cut the front part of her shoes out when her toenails would get too long.”

Ever wonder why many dentists suffer from depression?

“Dental hygienist here,” wrote RDHmorgan5683. “We had a patient who just kept repeatedly popping a ‘zit’ (actually a dental abscess) on his gums with whatever sharp object that was within reach. He ended up in the emergency room with half his face and neck swollen from the super-crazy infection that occurred.”
“He needed intravenous antibiotics and was in the hospital for a few days until the tooth was finally extracted and infection cleared. Please see a dentist and do not just pop random abscess in your mouth—they are a sign of infection and need treatment to go away.”
“We had a patient superglue teeth back in that fell out due to gum disease,” wrote MiddleBodyInjury. “No, no, no.”

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“I had a patient with perio-involved teeth,” wrote Macabalony. That’s basically what happens if you let your gum disease run rampant.
“[They] tried to remove them with pliers. Ripped out the buccal cortical plate and ended up needing oral surgery instead of normal extraction.”

This account helps us understand what these people are thinking.

“I had an accident with an oscillating saw while doing renovation work on my house,” wrote Anschauung. “I’m a chemist, so I keep chemistry [stuff] around. I just pressed the wound until it stopped bleeding, blasted it with 50 percent isopropyl alcohol, wrapped it in parafilm, put on some gauze and a bandage, kept it all together with duct tape, and went on working. No biggie.”
“My wife was not happy when she got home and I told her. I argued that it was nothing worth worrying about, and she argued that ‘Oh, God, go to urgent care!’”

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“We made a deal that I’d send a photo to our friend, who’s a nurse, and follow her advice. My nurse friend’s advice was ‘Oh, God, go to urgent care right now!’”
“Honoring my part of the agreement, we went to the emergency room. The doctor’s eyes nearly popped out of her skull as I explained how I’d sealed the wound. I ended up getting stitches, but I still maintain that my solution would have been fine. It was aseptic and sealed tightly, albeit a little redneck-y.”

Those gains aren’t worth it.

“Anesthesiologist here; we had a patient come in [with] bilateral deltoid abscesses,” wrote RyanB614. “He apparently had thoughts of being a bodybuilder, but instead of lifting weights or using steroids, he decided to bulk up by using some protein powder…and mixing it with water, drawing it up into a syringe, and injecting it directly into the muscle.”
“If bulk was what he was going for, it definitely worked—temporarily. A rip-roaring localized infection makes you look plenty swole. They got almost a liter of pus mixed with liquefied protein powder out of each deltoid. This also wasn’t the first time he’d been in for this problem.”

If the internet says it works…don’t do it.

RobTheMedic, as his name implies, is a paramedic.
“I once had to explain to a family that putting lemon juice in the eyes of an unconscious patient isn’t an approved treatment method,” he wrote. “And no, it didn’t work. It was an interesting moment when I had to explain why his eyes hurt.”
“An old lady told me the rain hurt her arthritis,” wrote Lacamaguzi. “That’s reasonable. She also swore that dog spit had healing properties, so she let her dogs lick her feet when she felt it coming on. She wanted to show me a video of said dogs licking her feet. I swiftly and politely declined.”

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“My mom once melted Vick’s Vapor Rub into my tea because she thought that would help my cold,” wrote Apostrophie. “It didn’t.”  
“An adult patient had gas, so he poked a hole in his belly button with what was basically a knitting needle—to release the gas,” Okaycitizen wrote. “It didn’t work. He actually came in for the ensuing infection in his belly button.”

“I have low magnesium? Better eat a volcano.”

“A patient was told by her doctor that she had low magnesium and should consider supplements,” wrote Rosequarry. “That’s not uncommon. But instead of getting magnesium supplements, she ate an entire tub of ‘homeopathic volcanic ash’ and completely destroyed her electrolyte imbalance. She ended up in ICU.”
“We admitted her as a pharmaceutical overdose, so poison control automatically follows up with you. It was hard to explain to them.”

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In a later edit, Rosequarry clarified that the substance was probably naturopathic, not homeopathic; homeopathic substances typically contain extremely small amounts of their active ingredients.
“I don’t know enough about specific differences. Think of a tub of protein power, but volcanic ash,” they wrote. “Her husband brought it in for the poison control report. You were supposed to mix a scoop in water for the health benefits. She ate the whole tub and had a seizure and wrecked her kidneys.”

Oh, and don’t attempt your own surgery.

“A dude came to the emergency department because his leg was swollen,” wrote Ed_dsm_ia. “I’m talking, like, twice the size of his other leg. it turned out that his fourth and fifth toes were getting caught on his sock, which, to be fair, sounds super annoying.”

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So what did the guy do about that problem?
He cut them off with scissors. And then it got infected, and he waited, and waited, and that’s how he lost his entire f****** leg.”
In this case, the profanity is warranted.
“We had a guy come in with an abscess on his right thumb,” wrote Itsjakefromstfarm. “When I asked him what happened to his hand, he told me about his recent deep sea fishing trip. He was given the responsibility of cutting the fish—with an open wound in his hand. A sliver of fish got in there and became infected as it healed, so this guy gets the bright idea of doing a little DIY wound drainage by grabbing his pocket knife and cutting it open. That lead to a greater infection.”

You’ll need a strong stomach for these.

“When I worked in emergency room, my colleague had to see a guy with an ear problem,” wrote Frakiesausagefinger. “He had something stuck in his ear and had been trying to get it out.”
“This wasn’t a new thing; he’d been trying for some time. Turned out, he had completely removed his tympanic membrane, and the ‘bits’ that were stuck in his ear and that he was trying to pick out with cotton buds and hair clips were his ossicles. Enjoy.”
Ossicles, by the way, are the tiny bones in your ear.

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That might be the worst one we read. This one seems worse, but just stick with it for a moment.
“We had a patient come into the ER with a makeshift bandage on his shin,” wrote Coffeeartst. “He had fallen on rocks while hiking and left a three-inch-long, half-inch-deep gash in his leg. I go to pull the bandage off, and as I’m peeling it away I notice the skin is completely black and there’s dark chunks of fungus falling out of the wound. It looked necrotic, like it had been left alone for a week.”
“I look at this guy like he’s crazy as he tells me the wound is only a few hours old. He’s pretty proud as he explains that he created a makeshift poultice by chewing up leaves and moss, mixing it with river mud and stuffing it into his leg. That’s what all the black mossy stuff was. Hint. Don’t do this.”
Given how that story started, that’s pretty much the best possible resolution. 

You really don’t want to “do-it-yourself” when it comes to contraception.

We probably could have phrased that differently. Still, the point stands.
“Years ago, some article referenced how yellow #5 food dye decreased sperm count,” wrote YunoRuckus.
“Apparently, after reading that, this man decided that because Mountain Dew contains this dye, it’s cheap birth control. When I asked him about contraception, he exclaimed, ‘That yellow dye in Mountain Dew.’”
Okay, we had to look into that one; it’s pure urban myth. The FDA recognizes yellow #5—also called tartrazine—as completely safe, and there’s no evidence whatsoever that it impairs fertility. In fact, Snopes reports that it’s been a common food additive since 1916.  
In other words, if you’re looking to start a family, it’s perfectly safe to Do the Dew.

If anyone tells you that farmers aren’t resourceful, they’re wrong.

“Infections of the skin of the external ear canal are common and treatable,” wrote Dr_pr. “They’re hard to get to, though.”
They’re not too difficult to get to with the right tools. With the wrong tools, however…
“A dairy farmer (who didn’t have time to see us) got a long rubber tube that he used for something with his cows—I’m not sure what—fed it into his ear canal, then poured cow antibiotics down the tube. He came in when it didn’t work.”

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We should note that Dr_pr is based in the United Kingdom, where doctor visits are free. That wasn’t the case for Reddit user Bloodied_Angel’s grandfather.
“Over the course of a few weeks, he got to where he was having trouble breathing occasionally, so he gets the idea that he will go get an oxygen tank to help him,” they wrote.
“Does he go to the doctor? No. He goes to a tractor supply store and buys an acetylene torch. He brings it home and hooks it up. Whenever he would get short of breath, he would go in his office and only turn on the oxygen before sticking the hose up his nose.”

No word on whether or not his home remedy worked, but it was at least inventive. We certainly wouldn’t recommend it.

Some stories turn out remarkably well, given the circumstances.

“My friend’s dad got skin cancer on his right bicep,” wrote The5thLoko, “and at the time, he was a large muscular man who ran a horse farm. Huge arms. Instead of going through all the normal stuff, he caught it early and thought he could stop it at the source…so he heated up a railroad tie with a massive torch he had on his farm. He waited until it was past red hot and shoved it into his arm where the skin cancer began. He did this twice to himself, then wrapped up the insane hole in his arm.”

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“A while later he went to the doctor, who said the burn he inflicted was the craziest [thing] he’d ever seen…but all signs of the cancer were gone. He killed it, and it never returned. His arm and burn healed months later, and he remains cancer free to this day.”
While we’re pleased by the conclusion, we should make this clear: Don’t try this. The chances of a serious infection were extremely high, and there was likely a medical intervention that would have cleared up the cancer just as easily.
Granted, we probably didn’t have to say all of that—but given some of the stories we’ve read, it seems like an important clarification.

Some people see “antibacterial” and they stop reading.

“When I was in medical school on my family medicine rotation, I was sent in to see a middle-aged woman with complaints of sinus congestion,” wrote SRA6815. “Sure enough, from the beginning, I can tell she’s really stopped up; she had a nasally voice, and my history and exam are consistent with your run-of-the-mill viral upper respiratory infection.”
“I begin educating her on symptomatic management and the following exchange occurs:
Patient: ‘Do you think it might be the flu?’
Me: ‘It’s possible but unlikely; it’s really out of the typical season.’ It was June.

Patient: ‘Yeah, I guess I wasn’t sure it was; I’ve been spraying Lysol everywhere and it doesn’t seem to be doing any good, and it says it kills the flu virus.’

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Me: ‘Well, that’s something that could help disinfect the house and keep the virus from spreading.’
Patient: ‘I guess. I just wish it didn’t burn so much.’
Me: ‘…what do you mean?’
Patient: ‘You know, when I spray it up my nose— it burns so bad.’”
“Yep. My patient thought that, since Lysol kills influenza, the best way to nip it in the bud was to flush her sinuses with it like a saline spray. It did not work, for the record. The fact that I didn’t immediately fall over laughing is still the greatest feat of composure in my entire career. Instead, I seriously counseled her against ever doing that again. When the label on Lysol says ‘Not for internal use,’ they mean it.”
Unfortunately, that’s not even the worst misapplication of a common cleaning product we found.

“My wife works in the ICU,” wrote Jazzmonkey07. “A dude tried to cure his heartburn with a remedy he read online: baking soda.”
“The only problem: He used too much baking soda and drank it with Coke instead of water. It completely wrecked his intestines. Not sure if it fixed his heartburn.”

We’ll stick to Tums, thanks.

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People Share The Creepiest Things Their Kids Have Said And It’s Terrifying

As every parent knows, kids are great at doing two things: being absolutely adorable and utterly creepy. There’s a reason that films like The Exorcist and Village of the Damned are so disturbing; when a cute kid starts acting sinister, it’s hard not to run away screaming.


Unfortunately, children seem to love creeping people out. We collected some of the creepiest things that kids have said or done, then edited those stories slightly for grammar and readability. Whether you’re a parent or you’re looking for reasons to avoid parenthood, these tales should send a tingle up your spine.

1. When you’re tucking your kid in for the night, weird stuff tends to happen.

Sure, parents know that there aren’t any weird monsters lurking under the bed, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t get creeped out on occasion. Kids don’t make that any easier.
“I was tucking in my two-year-old,” wrote Reddit user UnfortunateBirthmark. “He said ‘Goodbye dad.’ I said, ‘No, we say good night.’ He said ‘I know. But this time, it’s goodbye.’ Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.”
Reddit user Falicor was tucking his daughter in when she began crying. Naturally, he asked her why she was so upset.
“‘Bad man,’ she said.”
“‘What bad man?’”

 

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“‘There.’ She points behind me at a dark corner of the room. A lamp on [the] bookshelf next to said darkened corner falls off as soon as I turn to look. She slept in our bed that night.”

Some kids seem to see mysterious, shadowy figures on a regular basis.
“While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door, she kept looking around me and laughing,” QuagmireDP recalled. “I asked her what was so funny. She said, ‘The man.’ To which I replied, ‘What man?’”
“She then pointed at the closet and said, ‘The man with the snake neck.’ I turn around and nothing was there. I’m afraid to look into the history of my house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn’t scared.”

2. Kids say the damndest things.

The creepy stuff doesn’t always stop when the kid’s asleep.
“My mom has told me a story about my brother when he was younger,” wrote Hsertich. “I guess he was sleepwalking, and she was trying to coax him back to bed. He said something along the lines of ‘I would, but the devil is behind you.’ Yeah, nope.”
As Reddit user NotTomPettysGirl wrote, kids can be brutally honest—which can make for some awkward (and disturbing) family conversations.
“He didn’t say this to me, but to his grandmother,” she recalled. “He was cuddling with her and being very sweet. He was about 3 at the time. He takes her face in his hands, brings his face close to hers, then tells her that she’s very old and will die soon. Then he makes a point of looking at the clock.”

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Daiga Ellaby

And if you’ve got multiple kids, you can expect them to be pretty creepy towards each other.
“My 3-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother,” wrote Like_I_Was_sayin. “She looked at him for a while, then turned and looked at me and said, ‘Daddy, it’s a monster. We should bury it.’”
Reddit user Olafthebent has a similar story about his daughter.
“She was holding her baby brother for the first time,” he wrote. “[She asked], ‘So I shouldn’t throw him in the fire?’”

3. Playtime is fun…right?

Not when you’re playing with a kid who’s apparently the spawn of Satan.
My 5-year-old adopted little sister has a game she would play where we would pretend to go around to people’s houses and take their children,” wrote Borkmeister. Okay, that’s terrifying, but certainly imaginative.
“Once we rounded up enough, we would eat them, violently and maliciously. This was her idea, through and through. The name of the game? Social worker.”

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Maybe they should have just played with crayons instead. Actually, on second thought…
“My younger cousin was around 5 at the time,” explained Nilliak. “He once drew a picture of a black monster, looked up at me, and said, ‘He told me to draw this. He’s coming for you. You better hide.’”
We’d probably take that advice.

4. Granted, kids can make just about anything creepy.

“I don’t have kids, but once, visiting some friends on a farm, my buddy’s youngest girl—she was 5 or 6 at the time—was afraid of the chickens,” wrote Jonuggs. “I tried to explain to her that the chickens weren’t there to hurt us, but she wasn’t having it.”
“So I’m sitting around the fire pit, looking at one of the chickens a few feet in front of me when I feel hot breath in my ear as she whispers: ‘See. He’s always watching.’ Horrific and hysterical all at once.”

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We’d love to introduce that kid to the kid in this next story.
“I asked my three kids what they wanted to do when they grew up,” wrote one Reddit user (whose later deleted his account). “10-year-old Jason said, ‘I want to be a teacher.’ 8-year-old Mitzi said, ‘I want to be a writer.’ 6-year-old Nick said, ‘I want to run the machine that cuts the heads off the chickens.’ All-righty, then.”

4. Kids really love their demonic apparitions.

“My co-worker’s four year old daughter always thought that the rattling of the water pipes in the kitchen cupboards were ‘white wolves,’ and the sound always scared her,” wrote Darinfjc.
“One day she was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, ‘Mom. The white wolves aren’t bad…they’re our friends!’”
“Her mom encouraged the idea by saying, ‘Yes! The white wolves are protecting us. They are our friends.’”
“Then her daughter added in, ‘They’re our friends, but not the man who crawls on the floor and stands by my bed.’”
We’ll give you a moment to finish shuddering after that story. Finished? Okay—this one’s even worse.

 

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“I work in a preschool. Creepy s*** [happens there] all the time,” wrote Maryomorevna. “The one that sticks out to me happened last year. There is a small kitchenette area in our classroom that the kids use during free time for playing house or whatever pretend games they think up.”
“There was one little girl that I was keeping a close eye on, mostly because of how withdrawn from the other kids she was. I noticed she was playing with a baby doll in the kitchenette, rocking it back and forth and singing to it.”
“She took the baby, shoved it into the play oven and slammed the door shut. She turned around, looked straight at me, and said, ‘Sometimes bad babies go in timeout,’ in the creepiest little girl voice I’ve ever heard before smiling and running off. That one kind of shook me.”

5. Sometimes, the creepy stuff has a fairly simple explanation.

“My niece was sitting on the couch with a weird look on her face,” wrote Hrhomer. “Her mom asked her what she was thinking about, and she said, ‘I’m imagining the waves of blood rushing over me.’”
“As it turned out, they had been at a local science museum with an exhibit on the circulatory system. One of the features was a walk among some giant fake blood vessels, and she was remembering that.”
Reddit user Psalm_69 also has a creepy story with a fairly mundane background.
“I was sound asleep, and at around 6 a.m., I was woken up by my 4-year-old daughter’s face inches from mine,” they wrote. “She looked right into my eyes and whispered, ‘I want to peel all your skin off.’”
“The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week and was starting to peel. In my sleep-addled state, however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn’t know if I was dreaming or what was going on.”

6. This kid might be the freakiest toddler on the planet.

“When my son was little, maybe 3, he used to do this weird crawl where he would slide his forehead along the floor,” wrote Seethella. “That was pretty creepy in and of itself. Then, one night, he crawled across the hallway into my room like that and stood up a few inches from my face while making a weird meow sound. He got into bed with me and went to sleep.”
“Another time, he was freaking out about a monster in the basement, so we went down and saw nothing (of course). As I turned out the light and headed upstairs, he said ‘He’s right behind us now.’ I might have peed a little.”

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“Possibly the creepiest thing he did: One day, I scolded him for misbehaving, so he hid his head under his blanket. I pretended I couldn’t find him by saying ‘Where is my little Carson?’”
“He slowly lowered the blanket and with a dead-evil stare said, ‘Carson is gone. I am Rick.’ I’m certain he’s possessed. We never knew any Ricks, as far I can remember. Still don’t. Never figured out where he picked up the name.”

7. Some kids become strangely obsessed with their parents.

We know, we know; all kids are obsessed with their parents at a certain age. That doesn’t make it less disturbing when your kid thinks about your inevitable demise. This story comes from Pipperfloats, whose kids are both disturbingly imaginative and practical.
“My 5-year-old: ‘Mommy, when you die, I want to put you in a glass jar so I can keep you and see you forever.’ To which my 6-year-old responds: ‘That’s stupid. Where are you gonna find a jar that big?’”

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Apparently, that’s not such a strange inclination for kids, according to Reddit user GatorMcGovern.
“A friend of mine’s child told him, ‘Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want,’” he wrote.
Even when kids promise not to do something disturbing, it still comes off as creepy.
“My 3-year-old son generally has a happy-go-lucky attitude, so this is pretty odd,” explained Lord_of_hosts. “Sometimes when he’s cuddling with his mommy, he’ll say very seriously, ‘Mom, I promise I won’t ever chew on your bones. I promise.’ I have absolutely no idea where he got this.

8. Kids basically act like little aliens…and yes, sometimes we mean that literally.

“My mom likes to tell this story,” wrote Bladel. “Apparently, when I was 5 or 6, I told her that aliens had stolen her real son and replaced him with me, an exact copy. Someday, I would return to my home planet. But she shouldn’t be sad, because her real son had a good life in our zoo.”
Some kids belong in a zoo, so we’re not really seeing where the horror comes from. Then again, maybe it wasn’t just a story.

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“When my oldest was about 3 years old, I had a really weird dream where an alien was trying to take my son,” wrote acefamilia. “I was lying in bed watching this alien take him by the hand and started walking off towards the window.”
“When I started to scream, I woke up. Here is the creepy part: I wake up to find my 3-year-old turning on the night light in our room. He turns to look at me and says, ‘Oh, its okay, Mommy. The alien is gone.’ I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.”

9. Most of these stories take place late at night.

Hey, that’s when the really creepy stuff happens.
“Around four or five months ago, at like 3:00 a.m., I was awoken by a very weird growling sound,” wrote Catch22milo. “Disoriented, and in complete darkness, I started to come to. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what the sound was. I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room, which added to my confusion. I was thinking maybe the cat had caught something, but I really had no idea.”
“As my vision started to come around, this three-foot grotesque-looking shadow thing starts to appear a few feet in front of me. Just standing there, growling. Creepy. In reality, it only took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on, but I imagine I looked visibly shaken.”

 

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“It was my son. My 3-year-old son had snuck out of bed at three in the morning, found his Hulk mask in the dark, and decided to go find Daddy to play superheroes. I guess his idea of playing was to do a Hulk growl, two feet from my sleeping face until I woke up in a panic. He ended up doing the same thing to my wife a few weeks later which, to me, was way more hilarious.”
It’s always cute when kids disturb their parents’ sleep, right, parents? 
“My 5-year-old, at the time, had night terrors and would scream in her sleep,” wrote Thingsimeanttobe. “One night, I said, ‘Mama’s here. It’s okay.’ She looked right at me, still half-asleep, and screamed, ‘Mama? But who is that behind you?’”

10. We’ve got one more story about a dark, mysterious stranger, and it’s a doozy.

“When my son was in kindergarten, I received a call from his teacher while at work saying that he refused to go outside at recess time,” wrote Opud. “He was sitting there terrified.”
“He said there was a guy named Otie who had brown hair and a brown beard who kept telling him to ‘come here, buddy’ over and over while he was playing outside before school started. They reviewed tapes and didn’t see anyone. It scared the crap out of me that some man was trying to abduct him, but I’m pretty sure he either sees ghosts or has a very active imagination.”
“He also said this guy talked to him at the bus stop or outside his window—his room is on the 2nd floor. He refused to go anywhere near half of our home when he was 1-2 years old. He would just stand in the doorway and point.”

11. This story’s oddly charming (emphasis on the “oddly” part).

“My mom’s dad died 10 years before I was born,” wrote NejKidd. “I was about 6 or 7 when my parents divorced. The day before my mom told me they were divorcing, I was at the kitchen table drawing or something while my mom made tea.”
“She says I stopped instantly and looked toward the front door as if I’d heard it open. I stared for a long time, then giggled, turned toward my mum and said, ‘Granddad says don’t worry. Everything will be okay, and he won’t let anything bad happen.’ I then began humming and went back to my drawing. My mom says it’s the single creepiest thing that’s ever happened to her, and I have no memory of it happening.”

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Kelly Sikkema

While we’re on the subject of strangely prescient kids, Surethingsugar’s son came up with a surprisingly detailed story for his fictional sibling.
“‘Before I was born here, I had a sister, right?’” he said. “Her and my other Mom are so old now. They were okay when the car was on fire, but I sure wasn’t!’ He was maybe 5 or 6 years old. It was totally out of the blue.”

12. Many kids have imaginary friends, but they typically don’t share them.

“My 2-year-old daughter used to scream in the night,” wrote Jimslam. “She told my wife and I it was because she was visited by a lady. A few weeks later, she stopped screaming. Offhandedly, I asked if the lady had stopped coming. She answered ‘No, she’s just nice now. Her name is Shelia. She sleeps in my bed sometimes.’”
“A year later, my youngest daughter turned 2 and started having the same screaming fits. Talking to her, she described the same lady named Shelia.”
That would be creepy enough, but it doesn’t end there.
“Skip forward three years. We’d never talked with our kids about it, figuring there had to be some active imaginations and sibling storytelling involved. It hadn’t come up in at least two years. We moved with our three kids, including a 2.5-year-old son. On his first night in the new house, he asked, ‘Where will Shelia sleep now?’”

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Delivery Room Workers Explain What Happens When The Baby Clearly Isn't The Father's

By some estimates, as many as 9 percent of children have misattributed paternity. That means that their biological father isn’t the man who raised them—and the children are never made aware of that (quite crucial) information.

Of course, paternity statistics are difficult to accurately assess, since you can’t easily perform a genuinely random sample. If a mother knows that her baby’s daddy isn’t, ahem, the baby’s daddy, she might reasonably refuse to take part in a survey, skewing the results.

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Still, we know that it happens—and sometimes, the would-be father discovers the deception in the delivery room. Over several different threads, Reddit users shared their stories of parentage gone awry. For the most part, the stories come from doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals who saw families react when they realized that their new baby obviously wasn’t the father’s biological child.

Needless to say, some of these stories are fairly…uncomfortable. We sorted out a few of the best, then edited them for grammar and readability. Strap in, because these get pretty rough.

1. Sometimes, you’ve got to make the best out of a bad situation.

Hey, infidelity happens; when you realize that you’ve only got a 50 percent chance of being a father, you might as well see it through before making any irrational decisions.

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Reddit user Racheltower’s father is an obstetrician. She tells how a woman recently visited his office with her husband…and her boyfriend.

“They don’t know who the father is, and they can’t find out until the baby is born,” she explained, “so both men want to be there during doctor appointments and the birth.”

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That seems like an incredibly awkward situation, but to their credit, both of the potential fathers stepped up to the plate.

“The two men were surprisingly cordial with each other,” she said, “but I’m betting they’ll run a paternity test before the umbilical cord is even cut.”

For what it’s worth, obstetricians can actually determine paternity prior to birth, but the current method involves a sampling procedure that could potentially endanger the fetus.

2. In this story, the parentage isn’t really up for debate.

User Idkjill is a nurse, and she shared one of the more baffling experiences she’s encountered on the job.

“Once, we had a couple come in—just them,” she wrote. “The father was black, and the mother was white. The father was so involved and so ecstatic about becoming a father for the second time with this women.”

“Nothing really seemed off until she started pushing. The baby girl came out completely white, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Usually, black babies come out a little pale, but this was just straight-out white.”

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“We had to escort the father out for fear of him becoming violent, but he just sat outside the room, on the ground with his face in his hands. That was one of the saddest moments I think I’ve ever seen.”

The bad news: It gets much, much worse.

“Odd thing afterwards, though, the mom didn’t want the baby and wanted nothing to do with the ‘father,’ probably out of guilt,” she wrote, “so she left the responsibility of this baby and their other 2-year-old boy to this man—who didn’t even question taking on this child.”

While that’s heartbreaking, it’s good to know that those kids have at least one great parent. We hope he was able to move on quickly without her.

3. This story doesn’t reflect well on anyone involved.

Sometimes, these stories are so off-the-wall that we doubt they’re real—but for some reason, that doesn’t make them any less entertaining.

“My cousin was an obstetrics nurse in a central European country,” wrote Reddit user Thunder_bird.

Two pregnant women entered the nurse’s maternity ward, but unfortunately, one of the mothers lost her child during delivery. Naturally, she was grief-stricken; she told the nurse that she’d been trying for a baby for many years.

“She and her husband were overjoyed to carry a baby to term,” Thunder_bird wrote. “The husband was not present in the ward that day, but the lady said he would be devastated.”

The other lady delivered a healthy baby, but she was also upset; she already had four children and was unable to financially support a fifth.

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“She did not want to look after yet another baby,” they wrote. “Her husband was very upset she was pregnant again—not that he was blameless, but that’s a different story. He was at work and was not at the hospital that day.”

“My cousin talked to the other nurses. No paperwork had been completed, so the staff put both women in the same room with the one healthy baby and suggested they may want to talk.”

“Forty minutes later, the lady without a child was holding the healthy baby. Both women looked happy and relieved. Few words were spoken, but the paperwork was written up by the staff to reverse the records of the two births … They were of the same ethnic background and had similar features, so the swap probably went undetected.”

Obviously, that story has huge ethical issues, and we doubt it’d be possible in American hospitals. Still, it sort of has a happy ending…right?

4. Sometimes, the baby’s appearance isn’t what indicates their parentage.

Reddit user Fuzzus628’s mother worked at a medical laboratory “many decades ago.”

“One day, another woman who worked in the building was visiting the lab,” he wrote. “During the conversation, she mentioned that she was blood type X, her husband was type Y, and their child was type Z. I don’t remember the specific types.”

Well, it’s good that those aren’t the actual blood types, since we’re pretty sure that type Z makes you a zombie.

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“One of the younger lab techs blurted out, ‘That’s impossible,’ and the doctor in the lab just stared daggers at him. Luckily, the visitor either didn’t notice or didn’t care, and moved along shortly after. My mom still remembers it as one of the most awkward moments she’d ever been privy to.”

That person probably should have realized the issue while doing Punnett squares in high school biology class.

5. Then again, sometimes appearance is a dead giveaway.

“My brother was doing his OBGYN rotation,” wrote user inkseep1. “In the first birth he assisted, the woman had her husband leave the room. That seems odd these days, but nevertheless, my brother had the husband step out for the comfort of the patient.

If you’re paying attention at all, you know where this was going. The color of the baby’s skin “wasn’t even close” to the skin tone of the father.

“There were lily-white parents and a very black baby,” inkseep1 wrote. “She wanted my brother to stay to talk to her husband, who is about to come back, and he bails on the whole situation. She was playing the odds all the way to the end.”

User CompanionQuandary has a similar story, but she actually stayed in the room to walk the parents through the uncomfortable moment.

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“I am a nurse working in labor and delivery,” she wrote. “Most of the time, if the mom thinks the baby may not belong to her boyfriend or husband, she will just have their friend/sister/mom with them there for the delivery, then have the dad come to the hospital room after seeing the baby.”

“There are no guarantees because babies can change a lot over a couple weeks. Many African American babies have very light skin when they are born, which gets darker over time.”

“I have had a patient’s husband get upset about the baby being too light—they were both black—until his mom smacked him and told him that’s what he looked like when he was born.”

“Recently, I had something interesting happen. A girl comes in, in labor, with her boyfriend, sister, and a friend. The boyfriend doesn’t seem too engaged during the process, but that’s not uncommon. The baby is born and is fine, and the sister sends Dad to get some stuff.”

It’s important to note that all of the people involved only speak Spanish, and while CompanionQuandary speaks some medical Spanish to assist with procedures like deliveries, she’s certainly not fluent.

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“As soon as the dad leaves, the sister is like, ‘I have a question for you,’ and then proceeds to say something I can’t understand at all. I try to clarify, but I’m just not getting it, so I offer to go get the translator.”

“She’s like, ‘No, I don’t want it to be official.’ She whips out her phone, and through Google translate asks, ‘How can we get a paternity test in the hospital?’”

“I then have to explain that we really don’t do that, but she can get one at CVS. They tell me that the baby doesn’t look like the mom’s other child with this guy, and it might be someone else’s, but they want to check before telling him. So I just apologize and tell them how they can get a DNA test at CVS, and that they cost about $50.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked about paternity testing, but I just had no idea how you say it in Spanish.”

Some commenters felt that this mother was being unethical here, but CompanionQuandary warns against rushing to judgment.

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“You don’t know anyone else’s life circumstances, so it is best to reserve judgment about the choices they have made or you think they may have made,” she explains. “Not every situation is cut-and-dry. Plenty of biological fathers leave and do not support their children, and women are not all lying villains. Life is very gray’ just treat people with respect and compassion.”

That’s good advice to keep in mind during these next few stories.

6. This one will make your blood boil.

“I’m a nurse in a level 4 neonatal ICU,” wrote user RavenousButterfly. “We service the sickest of the sick from our state and the surrounding states, so we see it all.”

A baby came into the ICU with life-threatening sepsis caused by herpes. In most cases, RavenousButterfly wrote, doctors try to treat herpes while the mother is pregnant, which greatly reduces the risk of serious complications.

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“In this case, the mom didn’t even know she was a carrier,” they wrote. “So where did it come from? This is the awkward and sickening moment when everyone in the room realized where the herpes came from. Turns out, the father had an affair and contracted the virus from his lover.”

“So, yeah, while this woman’s baby is on the verge of death, she finds out her husband has been cheating on her and his cheating a** is the reason their baby is sick.”

That’s not quite a case of misplaced parentage, but it’s infuriating enough to make the list.

7. Sometimes, biology isn’t the most important part of the story.

“My fiance’s father is almost certainly not his biological dad,” wrote user Bagzilla. “His mom was just a genuinely terrible human being who didn’t even try to hide the fact she was cheating.”

“But his dad loved him from the second he was born, and when the mom decided four years later that she just didn’t want the kid anymore, she just gave him to his dad and rode off.”

We don’t know their situation, but it sounds like the kid was better off without his mother in the picture.

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“His dad ended up getting married, and he tried for kids before finding out his sperm count was too low to ever father children,” Bagzilla continues. “They ended up adopting many years later.”

“He sat my fiance down when my fiance was 13 and told him the truth, and said that if my friend wanted to test, they would, but it was up to him. My friend cried, and told his father that he just wanted him to be his dad, and that was the end of that.”

Ultimately, the blood test wouldn’t have proved anything; regardless of biological parentage, the kid certainly grew up with his “real” father.

8. Blood typing is complicated…except when it isn’t.

“I’m a NICU nurse that was floating to the nursery,” user Mimimullen wrote. “A baby was born with a genetic abnormality, but was otherwise doing fine. The pediatrician was in the parents’ room discussing the follow-up type stuff for the baby—appointments with a geneticist, an orthopedic surgeon, etc.”

“At some point in the conversation, the mother asked what the baby’s blood type was, to which the pediatrician responded ‘A+.’ The father of the baby insisted that was impossible, as he and his wife were both O-. This was their third baby.”

“The pediatrician got totally flustered and came back to the nursery to verify the lab results. The baby really was A+. We even went so far as to redraw the baby’s blood and retest it. Nope, A+.”

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“There is absolutely no chance that the baby belonged to that man. The husband left the hospital soon afterwards and didn’t show up again until it was time to pick up the mom and baby to bring them home. The mom spent the rest of the hospital stay lying alone, in the dark, mostly hiding under the covers.”

We should note that genetic mutations can actually cause these types of issues; two O- parents could potentially have a child with a different blood type. Those types of genetic mutations are extremely rare, but hopefully, this was one of those cases.

9. If you’re feeling disappointed in the human race, this last story should provide some relief.

“My aunt is a nurse in the maternity ward,” wrote Beachy5313. “She had a couple come in; they were both very black. The lady has the baby, and it is [extremely] white, like, totally pale, with no trace of any pigment.”

You probably think that you know where this one is going, but think again.

“They put the baby on her mom and the mom starts yelling about how this isn’t her baby, and how they stole her baby,” Beachy5313 continued. “In all fairness, you can be very confused during and after delivery, so it wasn’t stupidity. [She was] just sobbing and freaking out, and the father is just sitting there and looks very confused because he’s realizing that even if she did cheat, there is no way the baby would be that white. The doctor and nurses are trying to assure her that this is her baby, and that the skin usually darkens later.”

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“Come to find out, when the father called his mom, she pointed out that they have a second cousin who is albino, and maybe baby got that gene. Turns out, that’s what happened; the baby was albino.”

That’s pretty much the best-case scenario for that unusual situation. Albinism, by the way, affects people of all races, and while it’s rare, one out of every 17,000 people has some form of albinism. While it’s a lifelong condition with several health implications, it usually doesn’t affect lifespan.

It can, however, make for some awkward conversations in a delivery room.

Categories
Favorite Finds Motherhood

16 Brilliant Ways You Can Use Common Baby Products For Adults

Every parent of an infant has had that moment where they look at the baby’s snacks and wonder…”What does this taste like?” Then they take a nibble and find out that it tastes great!

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Babies, after all, are just extremely young and tiny humans, and products that work for humans tend to work for all humans. The next time you go shopping for your baby, pick up two of everything. You’re going to want to get in on this stuff.
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Here are baby products that are great for adults, too, just with a little variation on the uses.

1. Boudreaux’s Butt Paste isn’t just for butts.

This stuff is a goldmine of DIY hacks. It’s full of zinc oxide, which is a great remedy for irritated skin.

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Try a dab of paste on your next horrible mosquito bite, or slather it on a healing sunburn for a bit of immediate relief.
Get a 16-ounce tub here.
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2. Baby shampoo is a super-gentle cleanser.

That means it’s ideal for people with sensitive skin. If you’re prone to eyelid irritation, you can even use a drop of the stuff on a washcloth to scrub those lids in the shower.

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Even if you don’t need baby shampoo yourself, it’s the ideal cleanser for dog and cat baths, assuming you can get your pet into the tub in the first place. It’s also useful for cleaning your combs and brushes when they start to get a little greasy or dirty.
In short, baby shampoo is the ultimate soap. Why do we even bother with anything else?
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Get a 20-ounce bottle of the OG Johnson’s baby shampoo here.
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3. Baby wipes seem tailor made for makeup removal.

At the end of a long day, use a nice cool baby wipe to scrub away makeup. Pack a few with you when you go out of town to use as a quick, hassle-free face wash.

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Baby wipes can even shine your shoes. Everyone should have these.
Get a 5-pack box of Pampers Baby Wipes (that’s 360 wipes!) here.
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4. Diapers are a key ingredient in a super-effective ice pack.

As the video below demonstrates, you can use diapers for something way beyond their intended purpose. With some specific liquids and an absorbent diaper, you can freeze up a reliable and reusable ice pack.

Get 208 Huggies Snug and Dry size 1 diapers here.
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5. Baby powder has all kinds of uses.

It’s a decent stand-in for dry shampoo or deodorant, and it can help prevent stinky feet. You can also bring it to the beach to help remove sand from your feet. Watch the video to see a few of our favorite baby powder hacks:

While the link between modern talcum powder (which no longer contains asbestos) and ovarian cancer is unclear, you might want to find a talc-free baby powder just in case. There are plenty of them on the market.

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Get three 7.5-ounce bottles of Burt’s Bees Baby 100% Natural Talc-Free Dusting Powder here.
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6. Pedialyte can help to quickly hydrate adults.

After a night of overindulgence, try sipping Pedialyte. It’s packed with electrolytes and it has less sugar than most sports drinks.

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It was designed to rehydrate sick children, but it can do the same thing for adults.
Get 24 powder packs of Pedialyte here—just add water!
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7. People with sensitive skin should try switching to baby detergent.

Soaps for babies are super gentle, and the same is true about laundry detergent made for the pre-K set.

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Lots of adults with allergies or skin sensitivities find that baby detergents bother them less than typical adult detergents, which are packed with harsh chemicals and fragrances.
Get a 150-ounce bottle of Dreft Baby Laundry Detergent here.
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8. Baby sunscreen is powerful enough to work for adults, too.

No matter how old you are, SPF is SPF. Try pilfering a little of your infant’s sunscreen the next time you head to the beach.

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Pick the highest SPF level you can find and enjoy not getting a sunburn.
Get two 6-ounce bottles of Babyganics Mineral-Based SPF 50 Sunscreen here.
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9. Baby oil helps you remove mascara.

Waterproof mascara is great. You can even cry without rocking a total goth look. When the night is over, though, it can be a nightmare to get your eyelashes clean.

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That’s when you should reach for a bottle of baby oil. Waterproof mascara is, well, waterproof, so trying to wash it off in the sink won’t do much. But oil and water hate each other, so oil helps to break down tough cosmetics. Just dip a cotton swab in baby oil and gently apply to your eyelashes with side-to-side swipes. Then rinse.
Get two 16.9-ounce bottles of Johnson and Johnson’s original baby oil for kids here.
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10. Diaper cream is one of the best moisturizing lotions out there.

You can spend $100 on a tub of super-fancy, age-defying face cream, or you can just reach for the nearest tube of diaper cream. It locks in moisture and helps your skin stay hydrated

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Diaper cream is also good for dry skin wherever it shows up, and it can soothe the sting of razor burn.
Get a 2-ounce tub of Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm here.
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11. Nipple cream is designed for nursing mothers, but it has other uses, too.

Dry, chapped lips love a good slathering of nipple cream.

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It’s also helpful for dry skin anywhere on the body, especially when the skin gets so dry that it starts cracking. Ouch.
Get a 1.1-ounce bottle of Palmers Cocoa Butter Nursing Cream here.
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12. Gripe water has been keeping colicky babies comfortable for generations.

It can ease adults’ upset stomachs, too. The best brands use real ginger and fennel, which are known to sooth painful bellies.

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Next time you get a little gassy or come down with some nausea, reach for your infant’s bottle of gripe water for quick relief.
Get a 4-ounce bottle of Wellements Organic Gripe Water here.
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13. Baby shampoo doubles as a perfect detergent for delicate fabrics.

You can’t throw your cashmere sweater in the wash with everything else. Fragile, high-quality fabrics require a little babying, and we mean that literally.
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Baby shampoo will keep your nicest clothes clean without damaging or discoloring them.
Not into Johnson’s? Get two 8-ounce bottles of Aveeno Baby Wash & Shampoo for Hair & Body here.
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14. Baby oil is the perfect substance for polishing stainless steel appliances.

Nothing looks classier than a kitchen full of stainless steel. Unfortunately, nothing collects grease and grime like this chic metal does, either.

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The solution is to rinse down your stainless steel appliances with a bit of dish soap. Once you’ve got the gunk removed, though, they could still use a polish. That’s where the baby oil comes in.
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Rub down steel surfaces with an oiled cloth to create a clean, bright shine. This works on faucets too, by the way.
Baby oil is also an effective polish for wooden surfaces. Wooden tables tend to collect water rings no matter how many times you tell your guests to use a coaster. Polish a table with baby oil, though, and those rings will disappear. Even better, the baby oil forms a barrier against moisture, so it’ll make new water rings less likely to show up.
Get three 4-ounce bottles of Burt’s Bees Baby 100% Natural Baby Nourishing Oil here.
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15. Baby wipes can get rid of deodorant stains.

We’ve yet to meet a dark shirt that doesn’t show deodorant streaks. Deodorant is a tough thing to get out of your clothes.

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The only surefire remedy we know of for deodorant stains is, of all things, baby wipes. Just wipe down the white residue on your dark clothing with a baby wipe and watch it disappear!
Get a nine-pack of Huggies Simply Clean baby wipes (648 total!) here.
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16. There’s one last use for baby wipes that you might not have thought of: Use them to clean your cat!

There’s no way you’re coaxing Fluffy into the bath, and you can’t take her to the grooming place every time she gets a little dirty. Baby wipes are a great way to take care of a feline’s messy face (or behind!) without infuriating them.

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Baby wipes aren’t wet enough to irritate your cat, and you might even be able to convince them that you’re just petting them. Try it!
Get a six-pack of Amazon Elements Baby Wipes (640 total) here.
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Categories
Wellbeing

Can Science Stop Aging? A Look At The Strange Science Of Senolytics

We’d like to think we’re going to live forever, but realistically speaking, that’s…well, unlikely.
In 2016, American life expectancy declined for the second year in a row, per data (link opens a PDF) gathered by the National Center for Health Statistics. That’s largely due to various worsening health problems like heart disease and stroke. In any case, the news is pretty grim; the average American will live to be 78.6 years old, a whole two decimal points fewer than in 2014. Women can expect to live for about 81.1 years, while men can expect to live a measly 76.1.
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Nobody likes to think about getting old, but that’s exactly why some scientists are obsessed with the concept. Someday, we might be able to slow down the aging process or even halt it entirely—and, according to a recent research review, that day might come sooner than we think.
The piece, which was first published in The Journal of American Geriatrics, attempts to evaluate the clinical potential of senolytic drugs. A team led by James L. Kirkland MD, PhD, outlined testing guidelines for senolytics (and yes, we’ll explain exactly what that means in a moment). These drugs would be the first substances designed specifically to target the aging process, and if they’re effective on humans, they could change the way doctors treat age-related diseases (and make parking at Denny’s much more difficult).

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Before you break out the sparkling grape juice and celebrate, we should note that we’re a long way from turning society into some sort of elder-run utopia. We don’t have proof that senolytics work, and if you’re hoping to head to your local supermarket and pick up a big bottle of senolytic pills, you’re going to be disappointed.

The purpose of the paper was merely to establish practices for clinical trials. Still, the authors note that medicine that targets fundamental aging processes “could transform geriatric medicine by enabling prevention or treatment of multiple diseases and functional deficits in parallel, instead of one at a time.”
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In other words, instead of treating diseases linked to aging, like Alzheimer’s or cancer, doctors would target aging itself. We decided to look into the science to try to determine whether a magical anti-aging pill is really right around the corner. Hint: It’s complicated.

Buckle up: Here’s how proposed senolytic drugs would work.

Senescence occurs when a cell stops dividing; it essentially dies but remains in the body. Senescence is thought of as a natural part of the cell aging process because, if cells replicated forever, they’d eventually become cancerous.
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“The purpose of this … is to make sure that these cells do not maintain their damaged genomes any further in the organism,” Ira Pastor, CEO of regenerative medicine company Bioquark and member of the World Economic Forum’s Human Enhancement Council, tells HealthyWay.
The problem is that senolytic cells don’t just disappear after they’ve stopped working. They hang around and secrete signals called SASPs (senescence-associated secretory phenotype, in case you’re studying for an advanced biology test), which tells the body to get rid of them. Those SASPs also contribute to the various negative processes we associate with aging.

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Eventually, the body eliminates the senescent cells, but by that time, the damage is done. As we get older, our bodies become less efficient at getting rid of the senescent cells, feeding the aging process.
“The core belief … is that as we get older, and as the elimination of these senescent cells is slowed down, the SASP secretion is detrimental to the surrounding tissues and can cause a range of other problems, such as inflammation, tissue damage, and degeneration, therefore speeding up aging processes,” Pastor says.
That’s where senolytics come in.

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“Senolytic therapeutic substances are being developed to see if it is possible to selectively induce [or] enhance the elimination of these senescent cells from the body.”
Senolytic substances could potentially compel the body to speed up its elimination processes, turbocharging the garbage collection and allowing us to stay young, fit, and beautiful forever (or at least slightly younger and fitter than we’d be otherwise).

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That all sounds pretty good to us. Unfortunately, the aging process isn’t exactly simple, and scientists don’t think of cell senescence as purely bad—or good, for that matter. Yes, this next section is a bit of a bummer.

There’s a pretty strong argument against senolytics.

Here’s the thing: Cell senescence is complicated, and it’s not exactly spontaneous.

“It is important to understand that senescent cells don’t just pop up out of the blue,” Pastor says. “There is a whole ‘upstream’ system of tissue-level architecture dynamics—tissue membrane potentials, forces of mechano-transduction, signals from the microbiome, visco-elasticity of interstitial fluids, molecular crowding/variability, etc.—that controls their production and deposition.”

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Dizziness aside, here’s what we got out of that: Senescence isn’t a random occurrence, and getting rid of the senescent cells won’t necessarily stop your body from producing them.

“Just like we are now understanding that cancer is no longer just about random single cells that have ‘forgotten to die,’ but more of a tissue-level disease that produces cancer cells, the same can be said for senescent cells,” he continues.
An article by Jan M. van Deursen, first published in the journal Nature, supports the idea that senescence is a multifaceted process—and, at times, an extremely useful one.
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“It’s also important to understand that senescent cell bio-dynamics are also very beneficial in many facets of our life and in keeping us alive,” Pastor says. “Aside from being beneficial in preventing cancerous transformation, they are important in human wound-healing dynamics, certain components of human regeneration, and—probably most importantly—in various aspects of tissue patterning, especially during embryonic development.”
Wait, embryonic development? That seems kind of counterintuitive if senescence is associated with aging.
“Paradoxically, embryos are full of senescent cells during their development, and this represents the exact opposite of aging, where the new fetus is becoming more robust and resilient,” Pastor says.
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This is a type of programmed senescence; during normal development, embryos produce a high number of senescent cells, which allows them to remodel their tissues. To put it plainly, you wouldn’t want to eliminate senescence entirely.

With that said, there’s still some hope for the therapy.

At this point, the arguments on both sides of the issue are pretty much theoretical, but experiments are underway to determine whether stopping senescence can extend health in old age. Some animal testing, reported Scientific American, indicates that senolytic substances are safe and potentially effective in mice, but Pastor believes that those studies are misleading.

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“Humans never experience the ‘flood’ of senescent cells in our bodies that are seen in the genetically engineered animal models,” he explains. “We have actually very few at any given point in time, as our bodies are very good at getting rid of them.”
“So, ultimately, I believe that it is not the senescent cells that are causing these diseases of aging, but the actual reverse: In diseased tissues, senescent cells are being created or ‘hijacked’ as part of the grander disease and pathogenic tissue remodeling processes, orchestrated from many other factors which truly represent a complete process of biological aging.”
Therefore, eliminating senescent cells might not be effective in humans, since our bodies will quickly replace them.
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“Our belief is that just killing them off faster will probably not do much beyond opening up space for more to be created. One still needs to turn off the disease processes upstream that are causing their formation in the first place. Still, time will tell which approach is correct.”
We should note that Pastor’s view isn’t universally shared among scientists; the aforementioned Scientific American piece points to the fact that some believe removing senescent cells will cause the body to create new tissues, thereby slowing down the aging process.

For now, the best way to slow the aging process is pretty straightforward.

Unfortunately, our advice isn’t as exciting as “take this medication and enjoy decades of brilliant youth.” At this point, the only ways to reduce the effects of aging are to get plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise, and wear plenty of sunscreen.

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There’s even some research that suggests drastically reducing caloric intake for a few days a month can help extend your lifespan. Note, however, that even the researchers behind these findings don’t recommend extreme changes in what you eat for any length of time.
“Life is difficult enough without engaging in some bonkers diet,” Rozalyn Anderson, a co-author of one of these studies, told Scientific American. “We really study this as a paradigm to understand aging. We’re not recommending people do it.”
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We’ll go a step further and recommend against it. Aging is the decline of health; if you want to fight it, it’s best to practice healthy habits.

Unfortunately, the visible effects of aging rely on your genetic profile, so for the time being, there’s not much else you can do—but if senolytics do turn out to be an effective form of therapy, that could change in a hurry.
“In the coming years, we will see whether this strategy of increasing their elimination impacts human diseases and thus healthy aging,” Pastor says. “[At Bioquark], we do not much believe in the concept.”
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Still, human trials might begin sooner rather than later. If senescence really is the gateway to the real-life Fountain of Youth, it’s an exciting time to be alive (and, more importantly, to continue to be alive).

Categories
Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

Busting Prenatal Ultrasound Myths: What to Know Before You Go

When you’re expecting, you spend a lot of time worrying—particularly during your first pregnancy.
“I read everything I could get my hands on,” says Mary, a 27-year-old St. Louis resident who had her first baby last April. “I was really obsessed with things like nutrition, but I never second-guessed ultrasounds. Then, on [social media], one of my friends posted an article about how fetuses can hear during ultrasound examinations, and that got me thinking.”

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In fact, dozens of publications carried the story, in which ultrasound equipment was said to be “as loud as a subway train coming into a station” to the fetus.
That sounds alarming, so we decided to look into the science. Spoiler alert: Ultrasounds are completely safe when performed by properly trained professionals. However, some of the enduring myths surrounding ultrasounds deserve some attention.
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[Editorial note: Ultrasound is the name for the procedure itself, while sonogram is the name for the image produced; as we use both terms throughout this article somewhat interchangeably, we felt some clarification would be helpful for anyone unaware of the distinction (we certainly weren’t aware of it when we started researching).]

“Fetal ultrasounds can cause hearing problems in babies.”

On the surface, this myth sounds sensible; ultrasounds use acoustic waves of energy—in other words, sound—to create images. We also know babies can hear sound (and even learn words) in the womb. Wouldn’t a tremendous amount of sound pose some sort of danger?

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While ultrasounds might be audible for newborns, there’s absolutely no evidence that they’re dangerously loud. In fact, ultrasound equipment uses high frequencies not audible to adult or infant ears. They can potentially stimulate vibrations in the uterus that could be problematic, according to the Mayo Clinic’s Mostafa Fatemi, but not dangerous to the fetus’s developing ears, provided the equipment is used properly by trained medical professionals.
Fatemi, by the way, is the source of the “louder than a subway train” comment, but that was taken out of context by some publications; Fatemi was warning that excessive levels of high-frequency sound might cause a fetus to move in the womb, potentially leading to complications. He wasn’t concerned with potential hearing loss, and subsequent studies have shown that ultrasounds don’t pose that type of threat.
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In 2013, a group of researchers attempted to establish a link between prenatal ultrasounds and hearing loss, noting that the implications for public health would be “enormous” if such a link was found. The study looked at postnatal hearing tests, comparing babies who’d had ultrasounds to babies who hadn’t undergone the procedure.
“Our results show that there is no correlation between a higher level of prenatal ultrasound exposure and hearing loss,” the authors concluded. “Indeed, infants who had more prenatal ultrasounds in the third trimester were more likely to pass their screening hearing exams.”
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That would seem to indicate that ultrasounds actually help infants’ hearing, but the researchers warned against making that conclusion, noting that correlation doesn’t imply causation. In any case, the takeaway is clear: Ultrasound equipment, when used properly, is perfectly safe for your baby’s ears.

“Sonograms are loaded with dangerous radiation.”

Many mothers-to-be wonder why they should expose themselves to any medical imaging equipment. Don’t those things expose your body (and, therefore, your baby’s body) to dangerous radiation?
In a word: Nope.

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“There is no radiation involved,” explains Resham Mendi, MD, a radiologist with Bright Light Medical Imaging.
Certain other medical imaging technologies (specifically, CT scans) use ionizing radiation, which could conceivably damage DNA, causing diseases like cancer. Medical professionals go to great lengths to minimize those risks—but because ultrasound equipment uses sound, not x-rays, it doesn’t pose the same type of danger. The sound waves simply aren’t capable of damaging DNA.
By the way, ultrasounds generate images pretty much instantaneously, which is why they’re more effective than CT scans or MRIs for prenatal care.
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“Ultrasound allows us to see things inside the body as they move,” Mendi says. “This is why we can evaluate the motion of the heart, of a fetus, or of a needle that a doctor may be inserting for a biopsy. Normally, it’s a completely safe and pain-free process.”

“The FDA recommends against fetal ultrasounds.”

Some sites note that the FDA advises against unnecessary prenatal ultrasounds. This is actually partially true, but it requires some context. The FDA did release a consumer update advising against “keepsake” sonograms and, in the accompanying online materials, warned about the dangers of those ultrasounds.

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“Although there is a lack of evidence of any harm due to ultrasound imaging and heartbeat monitors, prudent use of these devices by trained health care providers is important,” Shahram Vaezy, PhD, an FDA biomedical engineer, said in a statement. “Ultrasound can heat tissues slightly, and in some cases, it can also produce very small bubbles (cavitation) in some tissues.”
However, the FDA’s report is specifically geared toward vanity sonograms—which, by definition, aren’t medically necessary.
[pullquote align=”center”]”Although ultrasound is safe during pregnancy, physicians are discouraged from performing vanity ultrasounds if they are not needed, as it exposes the fetus to additional ultrasound energy with no medical benefit.”
—Janelle Cooper, MD, obstetrician[/pullquote]
“I have some patients who have gone on their own to commercial ultrasound centers offering so-called ‘vanity’ ultrasounds or for 3D ultrasounds to get pictures of their baby’s face,” Janelle Cooper, MD, Fellow of the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and obstetrician at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore, tells HealthyWay.
Why would someone want a 3D ultrasound?
“Not all patients need a 3D ultrasound, so it is not typical to have it done for medical purposes, but many patients are anxious to see what their baby looks like, and with 3D technology—it does provide a rough image of the baby’s face,” she says.
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That does sound pretty cool. Alas, if a 3D ultrasound is unnecessary, it’s not worth the (incredibly small) risk.
“Although ultrasound is safe during pregnancy, physicians are discouraged from performing vanity ultrasounds if they are not needed, as it exposes the fetus to additional ultrasound energy with no medical benefit,” Cooper says. “In addition, patients may get these ‘vanity’ ultrasounds and be falsely reassured that their baby is healthy, and many of these ultrasounds are not done by qualified sonographers who have experience with obstetrical ultrasounds. The ACOG [American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology] has issued guidelines for use of ultrasound in pregnancy, which state that exposing the fetus to ultrasound energy without medical benefit is not justified.”
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In other words, while you might really, really want to see your baby’s adorable face a few weeks early, resist the urge to book an extra appointment at the sonographer’s office. Hey, relax; you’ll get to take much better pictures once your baby is actually, you know, born.

It’s helpful to understand how sonograms are used (and why they’re important).

We ask Cooper whether a physician might recommend against ultrasounds for any reason.

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“I do not believe there is any evidence to show that sonograms are not safe during pregnancy,” she says. “As an obstetrician, there is no reason why I wouldn’t recommend ultrasound during pregnancy, as it has been proven to be safe, and generally, no harm can come to the baby with multiple ultrasounds during pregnancy.”
All medical procedures carry some amount of risk, and ultrasounds are no different. According to the ACOG, no research indicates that ultrasounds present any danger to a developing fetus, but that might change at some point in the future, so physicians try to avoid using the technology unnecessarily. At this point, the benefits of ultrasound technology seem to greatly outweigh the known risks.
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“Ultrasound is a tool that we use to help determine how the pregnancy is progressing, to evaluate the baby’s growth, anatomy, and wellbeing overall, and to monitor the placenta for any changes that may prove dangerous to the pregnancy,” Cooper says.
We had to ask: Why are sonograms really necessary, and how many should a mother expect to have during pregnancy?
“Generally, during pregnancy, I recommend an ultrasound in the first trimester to help determine due date in comparison to the last menstrual period,” Cooper says. “I recommend this ultrasound starting at around six weeks. There are times when I may recommend an earlier ultrasound if there is any suspicion of possible miscarriage or to confirm that it is not an ectopic pregnancy, and even this [is safe] early on when the ultrasound is done transvaginally.”
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“In a normal pregnancy, the next ultrasound is usually done at 18 to 20 weeks for a full anatomy evaluation, as well as gender determination. I recommend patients get ultrasounds done at least three times minimum during pregnancy, once per trimester, as overall, ultrasounds will help determine fetal growth, anatomy, placental abnormalities, gender, presence of [twins or multiples], the location of pregnancy, and the size [and] weight of the baby.”
Ultrasounds help doctors—and mothers—prepare for a healthy delivery. While the technology can seem somewhat overwhelming, and the procedure itself is a bit uncomfortable (okay, really uncomfortable), that’s no reason to ditch the sonogram entirely. Just ask someone who’s been there.
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“I totally get why people are anxious about sonograms,” Mary says. “But they do give you a sense of relief, and after doing the research—there’s no real reason to worry.”