Categories
Life x Culture Lifestyle

5 Strategies To Master Work–Life Balance

Ever feel like you’re working furiously to keep a stack of plates spinning high in the air and if you slow down for just a second, each and every one will go smashing to the ground? Behold the eternal struggle of women everywhere.
Whether we’re toiling in office buildings, sticking it out at home, or doing a little bit of both, we are constantly trying to make work and home life balance out. More often than not, we end up feeling like it’s impossible to make that happen. Some 89 percent of workers confessed in one online survey that they struggle with work–life balance.
So that’s the bad news. Ready for the good stuff? Work–life balance exists.
Even in that survey, 11 percent of workers seemed to be able to find it. Consider this your guide to joining the 11 percent.

1. Get moving.

When you barely have enough time to make dinner, fitting in time to exercise might seem like the polar opposite of balancing your juggling act. But consider this: Researchers from Saint Leo University, Saint Louis University, the University of Houston-Victoria, and Illinois State University took a look at how exercise affects our feelings about work and home life. Not only did they find that people who took time to work out reported lower levels of stress, their study determined that people who worked out also had higher confidence in their abilities to handle work–family conflicts.
The researchers concluded that exercise enabled people to detach from work and it was empowering them to feel more in control of their day-to-day struggles. Who couldn’t use a little more faith in themselves?
Whether it’s taking a brisk walk around the block on your lunch break or hitting a quick yoga class in the morning, that kind of boost to your confidence level can help you focus more easily on projects that you might otherwise have pushed off. It can also help you find your voice when your boss pushes you to stay late or work that extra shift that would cause you to miss your kid’s last soccer game.

2. Nip time-wasting in the bud.

Let’s face it, we all waste time. Sometimes that can be good for us, allowing us the chance to think outside the box and be more creative.
But if you routinely find yourself at 5 o’clock wondering where the day went, it might be time to do a quick review of your daily routine. Do you find yourself checking Facebook in the middle of the day? How about sending emails to your BFF?
In one survey conducted on behalf of CareerBuilder, a quarter of workers admitted they spend at least an hour of the workday on personal calls, texts, and emails; another 20 percent fessed up to whiling away work hours on the internet.
Stealing that time back from yourself could be the key to getting out the door at 5 without feeling like you’ve got to bring work home with you.

3. Plan that vacation now.

Signing on with a company that offers paid vacation time is exciting, but Americans finish every year with about 658 million paid vacation days that they didn’t use. Of those, more than 222 million are completely forfeited by employees who work for companies that don’t let them carry paid time off from one year to the next.
Worse? Researchers have found that taking less vacation time can actually hurt your chances of getting a raise, even while that extra time on the job hikes your stress level.
Need a break, but the money is tight? Plan a staycation with a few day trips or stick out your entire time off at home, binge-watching Netflix and puttering around the house. You don’t have to spend big to regain that sense of yourself outside of work, but you do have to do a little advance planning. About 51 percent of people who pre-plan time off actually make use of all of their vacation time, but just 39 percent of non-planners do the same.
So get thee to HR and put in your vacation request!

4. Harness your technical side.

Studies have shown that employees who have power over the technology they use on the job tend to be happier and more productive and have better life balance. Getting in on that action means taking the tech that’s in smartphones, smart cars, and smart homes and using it to make life a little easier.
Prove to your boss that access to Slack and Google Docs is enough of a tether to allow you to work from home a few days a week. Or use Rover to find a dog walker and let Instacart grocery shop for you, taking away some of the stressful daily errands that make it hard to really enjoy your family time.

5. Secure your squad.

People in Denmark have the best work–life balance in the world, so what do they have that we don’t have (aside from the LEGO headquarters, that is)? A whopping 96 percent of Danes say they have friends and/or relatives they count on in times of trouble.
Building a team of friends and family to help us out when we’re swamped means taking the burdens of daily life and spreading them out across a bunch of shoulders so they’re just a little bit less of a burden.
Propose a babysitter swap with the mom on the playground who says she never gets a date night. Ask a friend who works from home to let the cable guy in your house in exchange for grabbing her groceries on your drive home from work. If they can count on you and you can count on them, work–life balance may be possible after all.

Categories
Mindful Parenting Motherhood

How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby

Brittny Drye spent hours playing YouTube videos of a baby crying while she was pregnant, but it wasn’t to prep her body for baby. Drye’s 11-year-old cat, Scout, was about to become a big brother, and the founder of Love, Inc. wanted to make sure her fur baby and her “real” baby would get along when she introduced the two.
Raising kids in a house full of pets has gotten a giant thumbs up from the scientific community. Dogs and cats can do everything from helping babies develop healthy immune systems and reducing the chance that they’ll develop allergies to helping kids develop empathy.
But first they have to meet, right?
Here are some ways to facilitate a smooth first interaction between your beloved pet and your newborn baby.

Don’t stop at babyproofing.

You don’t want your pet learning to navigate a home that looks totally new at the same time they’re adjusting to a new arrival. That means some animal-proofing action should begin as soon as you’ve got a sense of where baby is going to be spending most of their sleeping hours.
If you plan to let your pets roam free throughout your home, set up the bassinet, changing table, and the like as soon as possible. Let Fluffy explore, sniffing the furniture so she can get used to the new layout while it’s still baby-free.
If you plan to set down some firm boundaries, put up baby gates or start closing doors weeks before baby’s arrival to help your pet transition. In addition to barriers, you’ll want to work on commands at the door to the baby’s nursery or your bedroom so they’ll become accustomed to you warning them away from the threshold.
Planning to move your pet out of your bed? Invest in a brand new dog or cat bed and start getting them used to their new sleeping arrangements ahead of time.

Piling on the Stuff

Babies come with a whole lot of gear, and the best time to figure out how to use it all is before they actually arrive. Side benefit to trying things out before they show up? You’ll be getting your four-legged friend familiar with it all, too.
If you have a dog (or even a cat) who joins on you regular walks, you can add the stroller to the mix on your next few trips around the neighborhood. They’ll get used to sharing your attention, and by the time you’re ready to nestle baby inside, you’ll be a total boss at opening and closing your stroller.
Next, grab a baby doll and some of the blankets from your baby shower to practice your swaddling technique. Walking around the house and perching on the couch with a “baby” in your arms will get your Fluffy used to your arms being full. This is another chance to practice commands that you can use if you need your jumping dog to stay down when you’re sitting with a real baby in your arms or your curious cat to stop pawing during nursing or snuggles.

Make some noise.

Babies make a lot of noise. It’s nature’s way of ensuring they can alert their parents that they need diaper changes, food, and someone to hold them close. But cats and dogs are both sensitive to soundsmore sensitive than most humans. Animals who are used to a home without that type of noise can be particularly stressed by the sudden introduction of a crying child in what up to this point felt like their environment.
This is where a little old-fashioned exposure therapy can make all the difference. Take a page out of Drye’s book and get your buddy used to baby noises in the house. YouTube videos, visits from friends’ babies, and even movies with noisy babies can do the trick.

The nose knows.

While you’re homing in on your pet’s senses, don’t forget to consider their nose. Dogs in particular relate pleasure with the scent of their owners, so take advantage of that by adding baby scents to your body pre-baby. You can borrow baby’s lotion for your after-shower routine or try out baby shampoo (hey, you need to get used to it yourself!)
Start washing your clothes in the soon-to-be baby’s detergent, and do the same for any animal bedding or toys that you send through the laundry.
Once baby’s born, ask a friend or partner to take one of the blankets your newborn has been snuggling in at the hospital home to your pet so they can sniff it and begin to get used to the scent of their new sibling before you make the actual face-to-face introduction.

Keep calm and carry on.

Putting in the work ahead of time will make your pet feel less like they’re being replaced and more like they’re a part of your changing life. And when it’s finally time for that first face-to-face, your calming presence can make all the difference.
Just remember: Don’t put too much pressure on anyone—your pet or yourself. Sparky may or may not be interested, and that’s okay. Showing them plenty of love and attention, at least the sort of love you showed pre-baby and as much attention as you can give for the time being, is key to making sure your pets don’t feel abandoned in favor of the new baby.
Soon, baby will be big enough to learn all the fun that comes with having an animal companion around their home and in their heart.

Categories
Nutrition x Advice

What Is Sucralose? Here’s Everything You Should Know

Often marketed as Splenda, sucralose was approved for food manufacturers to use as a “non-nutritive sweetener” by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1999.
However, rumor has it that the artificial sweetener was discovered in a lab by scientists who were trying to create a brand new pesticide. Instead they stumbled on a chemical sugar alternative that’s aggressively marketed as an option that tastes like sugar without sugar’s sweet but inherent risks.
HealthyWay
And if you’ve been scanning the ingredients on your average box of cookies lately, you’ve probably come across the word sucralose.
So is it a pesticide or a viable sugar alternative? And, more importantly, is it safe to eat something with sucralose in it or to feed it to your kids?
Here’s a look at what the experts say about sucralose’s side effects and whether sucralose is safe.

So what is sucralose?

According to sucralose’s creators, sucralose is made by taking sugar, removing hydrogen–oxygen groups from certain places on the sucrose molecule, and putting chlorine in their place.
HealthyWay
Splenda’s official description explains that “this change makes the sucralose molecule much sweeter than sugar, but with none of the calories.” In other words, sucralose makes things taste sweet, but it doesn’t carry nearly the amount of nutrition (or calories) of more traditional sweeteners.
These days, the sugar substitute can be found in everything from soda to baked goods to frozen goodies, and because it’s heat stable—meaning it stays sweet even when brought to high temperatures—sucralose is often used in home cooking, too. In fact, it’s sold on its own in most American supermarkets for use by home cooks.
HealthyWay
And when it comes to flavoring beverages and treats, sucralose offers a pretty big bang for your buck. It’s 600 times sweeter than traditional sugar but contains just a small percentage of the calories sugar does, says Sandra Arevalo, director of nutrition services and community outreach at the South Bronx Health Center in New York City.

The Anti-Sugar

Although it’s often dubbed a “low calorie” or “artificial” sweetener, the name sucralose can be confusing. If you took high school French, you might know that the French word for sugar is sucre—which sounds an awful lot like the root word in sucralose. And maybe you remember the original (and long since abandoned) Splenda tagline, “Made from sugar so it tastes like sugar”?
So sucralose just a souped up version of sugar, right? Not exactly.
HealthyWay
The big difference between sucralose—or any artificial sweetener—and sugar is the nutritional value, says Lorena Drago, a registered dietitian, spokesperson for the American Association of Diabetes Educators, and founder of Hispanic Foodways, an organization that creates and disseminates culturally and ethnically oriented nutrition and [linkbuilder id=”2278″ text=”diabetes”]-education materials.
Sugar is what’s known as a nutritive sweetener because it has both calories and carbohydrates. One teaspoon of sugar, for example, has about 16 calories and 4 grams of carbohydrates. A typical packet of sucralose contains just 1 gram of carbs, and little to no calories, making it a non-nutritive sweetner.

Why Sucralose Is Popular

The importance of the numbers and the allure of sucralose becomes extremely apparent when you look at how much sugar you’re really consuming every day. You don’t have to be dumping spoonfuls of the granulated white stuff into your coffee or sprinkling it on your cereal in the morning to be ingesting more sugar than you should.
HealthyWay
In fact, sugars are in almost everything we eat, from pasta sauce to bread.
That’s why the 2015–2020 dietary guidelines from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the U.S. Department of Agriculture focus not just on “sugar” consumption, but on the “added sugar” in our diets. The guidelines recommend consuming less than 10 percent of calories per day from added sugars.
For example, an adult consuming 1,800 calories daily shouldn’t be taking in more than 180 of those calories from added sugars, which means no more than 11 teaspoons per day. But those calories add up fast. A 12 ounce serving of regular (not diet) soda alone packs between 10 and 13 teaspoons.
HealthyWay
And if you look at other guidelines, the situation seems even more grim. The American Heart Association recommends that women consume less than 6 teaspoons or 100 calories of added sugars per day.
It’s guidelines like these that have made sucralose (and other sweeteners) ever more popular, coupled with a growing awareness that consuming too much sugar has been linked to everything from an increased risk of heart disease to dementia.
In one survey performed in 2016, more than half of Americans admitted they’re wary of how the sugar they eat is affecting their waistlines, and 42 percent said they feel guiltier about eating sugar than they do carbs or fats. One in 10 Americans said they’ve even said farewell to sugar entirely.
If you’re hoping to join the ranks of the sugar-free, sucralose may be an option, although it’s wise to speak to your doctor or dietitian before opting to make any drastic dietary change.
HealthyWay
And it’s important to note that doctors and healthcare providers themselves may be playing a role in the rise of sugar substitute use.
“The logic behind using artificial sweeteners in place of natural sugars is that they contain little or no calories, so they will help you to manage your weight and diabetes,” explains registered dietitian Evelyn Cheng of Eative Nutrition.
About 90 percent of carbohydrates we take in are converted by the body into blood glucose, which gives the body energy. Our blood glucose rises in response to the amount and type of carbs we take in. While the body has to work to process traditional sugars due to those calories and carbs, sucralose is passed through the body relatively unchanged, leaving without supplying the body with energy.
By substituting artificial sweeteners in place of sugar, you not only decrease your caloric intake, but can also minimize blood glucose spikes. That’s especially important for someone with diabetes who is trying to keep their glucose level on an even keel, and it can help also dieters, especially because glucose surges are tied to feelings of hunger.
HealthyWay
If your glucose spikes, so does your sense that you need to eat, Arevalo explains, which can make dieting more difficult.
On the other hand, the experts are quick to caution that switching out sugar for sucralose is no panacea.
“Some human research shows that people who switch sugar for sucralose don’t tend to lose more weight or have lower risks of heart disease or diabetes,” says Travis King, a registered dietitian and nutrition coach from Seattle, Washington. “Just eating sucralose instead of sugar likely won’t make you healthy, and we don’t know exactly why yet but research is pointing in that direction.”
HealthyWay
One study out of Israel, for example, asserts that sucralose affects the microbiome in our gut and can actually make us hold on to fat. The study was performed on mice rather than humans, and it looked at a variety of artificial sugars, not just sucralose. So any clear ruling from the scientific community on what the research means for how we ought to eat—or whether we should avoid sucralose in favor of our microbiomes—is yet to come.
Still, Drago sees one clear reason why switching to sucralose could be holding people back. “Many products that are prepared with non-nutritive sweeteners are often not nutritious and when eaten often displace nutritious alternatives,” she says. “In addition, sugar-free foods (e.g., cakes or cookies) are neither calorie- nor carbohydrate-free, as they contain flour, which will convert into blood glucose.”
Apparently there really is no such thing as a guilt-free brownie!

What else is out there?

Sucralose may get a lot of attention, in no small part because Splenda is now a household name, but it’s not the only sugar substitute out there.
Aspartame, saccharin, stevia, acesulfame potassium, advantame, and monk fruit extract are among the long list of artificial, processed, and refined sweeteners that also have FDA approval. They all ape the sweetening power of table sugar, they’re all low calorie, and they all show up in foods and drinks that can be found in your average grocery store.
HealthyWay
What sets each apart is its unique chemical makeup and how it can be used. Aspartame, for example, is not heat stable and isn’t recommended for use in cooking. And it contains phenylalanine, an amino acid that people with phenylketonuria (PKU) can’t metabolize. Monk fruit extract, on the other hand, is one of a growing number of sugar substitutes derived from plants or fruit.
Sucralose is unique in that it’s the only one in the bunch that’s branded by Splenda, and it’s the only one formed via a process patented in the ’70s to replace the sugar molecules with chlorine.

Is sucralose safe?

Any time people find out something’s made in a lab, they’re bound to wonder whether it’s really safe to eat, and sucralose is no different, especially when words like “chlorine” are getting thrown around with “baking” and “coffee.”
Isn’t chlorine the stuff that turns your hair green in the swimming pool?
“Sucralose, like most non-sugar sweeteners, is somewhat controversial,” King says. “People have a hard time trusting strange chemical names.”
HealthyWay
The chemical has been studied extensively, and opinions in the scientific community are mixed.
Although some studies point to issues in the microbiomes of mice guts, the FDA has concluded that “sucralose has been extensively studied and more than 110 safety studies were reviewed by FDA in approving the use of sucralose as a general purpose sweetener for food.”
Likewise, the American Cancer Society has come out in support of sucralose, noting, “There is no proof that these sweeteners, at the levels consumed in human diets, cause cancer.”
As for sucralose’s chlorine component, a certain amount of chlorine is used in drinking water, and some chlorine is allowed for food use by the FDA.
HealthyWay
One thing to keep in mind? Just because it’s not “natural,” doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad for you.
“A lot of research shows that sucralose is fairly safe in the amounts that people usually eat it, so even though it doesn’t magically cancel out sugar, it’s fine for most people to have in moderation,” King says. “The same goes for many alternative sweeteners: Most are very highly researched and safe in normal amounts.”
The FDA recommends sucralose intake be limited to 5 milligrams per kilogram of body weight or your doctor or dietitian can help you assess just how much might be right for your daily meal plan. They can also help you determine where it might be appropriate to make a substitution and when it might be smarter to stick with regular old sugar.
“For example, I might put sucralose in my coffee sometimes when I’m not going to have a chance to brush my teeth, because sucralose doesn’t contribute to tooth decay, but when I bake I usually just use regular table sugar,” King notes.

What to Eat if You Want to Avoid Sucralose

If you’re still not sure you’re comfortable adding sucralose to your diet, there are alternatives to curbing a sugar addiction—and not just the artificial kind.
HealthyWay
Scientists have found that sugar has an addictive quality, so you’ll want to check in with your doctor before making any changes, but Arevalo offers up these tips for kicking your sugar habit without adding in sucralose:

  • If you have a sweet tooth, start by cutting down on sugar slowly. If you are currently putting 4 teaspoons of sugar in a cup of coffee, for example, cut down to 3 for a couple of weeks, then cut down to 2 and eventually to 1 teaspoon.
  • Eat smaller portions of sugary foods and drinks and replace them with healthier sweet alternatives such as fruits and fruit-based drinks.
  • When drinking soda or juice, add lots of ice to water your beverage down. Also consider diluting juices with water.
  • Try seltzers or infused waters. When drinking iced tea, opt for homemade so you can control how much, if any, sweetener goes in.
Categories
Wellbeing

Here Are 4 Ways Moving Your Body Can Improve Your Mental Health

If Sasha Brown-Worsham skips a workout, her mood plummets. “I snap and lash out,” the Maplewood, New Jersey, yoga teacher admits. “I get depressed and agitated and angry.”
Her solution? Head into a yoga studio to take on a challenging asana or lace up her sneakers for a run around the neighborhood.
“When I am moving, I feel alive!” she says.
Fitting time in your schedule to move with the level of commitment Brown-Worsham does isn’t always easy. The average American woman is working long hours of both paid and unpaid labor.
Some days you probably find yourself thinking “After doing the grocery run and grabbing coffee with Rachel, how am I really going to fit in a workout?”
But then again, if you’re thinking “I could really use a mood boost right now,” you’re not alone in that either. American women are more likely than American men to be diagnosed with anxiety or depression, and we make up more than half of all mental illness diagnoses in this country.
HealthyWay
Whether you’re just feeling a little down in the dumps or you’re living with and learning to manage a diagnosed mental illness, there’s solid science out there that shows incorporating just a little movement into your day can make a big difference. Heck, it can even prevent someone who’s struggling from falling into depression (according to the scientists, anyway).
If you’re feeling the urge to get on your feet but you don’t think you’ll have time to make it to kickboxing class this week, here are some mood-boosting options that might fit the bill.

1. Dance around your kitchen.

If you can’t make it to the gym, bring the gym to you. Telling Alexa to play something sassy and moving your hips while you stir that tomato sauce won’t just burn some of the calories you’ve consumed throughout the day.
Dance movement therapy is actually prescribed by practitioners these days to help people cope with depression. Bonus to doing it in your own kitchen: You really can dance like no one is watching.

2. Take a walk.

A walk around the neighborhood may not help you work up a sweat like you would at CrossFit. But when you’ve got just 45 minutes between the end of the work day and your best friend’s kid’s soccer game, do you really want to show up smelling like the gym?
According to one Australian study, as little as 30 minutes in nature every week can decrease your depression risk by 7 percent, and it drops your blood pressure too. Lace up your sneakers and start smelling the roses.

3. Unfurl your yoga mat.

If you’re looking for a quick mood boost, a little quiet meditation and movement may be all you need. The effects of yoga on anxiety have gotten the thumbs up from researchers, and Brown-Worsham confirms that you don’t need to go in the studio to reap the benefits.
HealthyWay
She’s known to head out on the back porch for a quick yoga session when she feels the need. If you don’t have time for a full yoga class, pull up a quick YouTube class (Yoga With Adriene has 10-minute options) and bliss out.

4. Turn friend time into workout time.

When former Facebook executive Randi Zuckerberg said women have a choice of work, sleep, family or fitness, and they can only pick three, the world erupted. The general response? Randi, you are speaking our language!
So if you’re waffling between the much-needed mood boost that comes from coffee with your bestie or the equally needed pick-me-up of a workout, you might just want to marry the two. It turns out the only thing better for your mood than a workout is a workout with a friend.

Categories
Wellbeing

Here's The Fall Reboot Guide We All Need

Remember when you were a kid, and fall meant starting over? New sneakers. New backpack. New headband you just couldn’t wait to show your bestie?
To borrow a phrase from Anne of Green Gables (hey, we’re talking childhood), fall was like starting over on “a new day with no mistakes in it yet.” And it felt good!
But you don’t have to be 9 and have a pack full of freshly sharpened pencils in hand to get that fresh feeling of fall. According to one survey, 45 percent of Americans look at fall as the perfect time of year to get organized, and that doesn’t just mean your desk.
Here’s how to take on fall like the fierce woman you are:

Sleep on it.

With shorter days fast approaching, it feels like Mother Nature is urging us to move indoors and stay there. Maybe she’s onto something? Sleep is an essential part of a healthy you, and the urge to curl up under a warm comforter in the colder months could be just what you need to finally kick off that improved sleep routine.
Even better? Fall weather can actually help you fight insomnia. It turns out the best temps for getting a good night’s sleep are somewhere between 60 and 70 degrees. Try setting an alarm to remind yourself when it’s time to go to bed, and make yourself stick to the same bedtime (more or less). When it comes to morning, resist hitting that snooze button, and get up at the same time each day. Regular sleep and wake schedules alone can make all the difference in how you feel.

Cut the clutter.

You don’t have to go full Marie Kondo, but you know what’s coming? The holidays. And you know what the holidays bring? Stuff! That cute little turkey centerpiece you just can’t resist. The holiday office party Secret Santa tchotchkes you really don’t want. Cut stuff now, and you’ll thank yourself later.

Treat yo’ skin.

That chill in the air doesn’t just mean you can hit up your local coffee shop for a pumpkin spice latte. Skin also tends to dry out when the weather turns colder. Set aside your summer routine and amp up the moisture. You don’t have to abandon everything that’s been working, but if you’ve been skipping the moisturizer, it may be time to add it back in.

Feel like trying a hydrating mask? Now’s the time. And while you’re at it, take a stroll down the cosmetics aisle to stock up on a few fall colors. A new lip color alone can make you feel like an all new you.

Make your wardrobe function for fall.

When you were a kid, fall meant hitting the mall while your mom moaned about how fast you were growing. Thank goodness those days are over! Your favorite jeans can now last years, and they’ll have to pry that sweater you bought in college from your cold dead hands.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in some fall shopping. While you’re putting away your summer clothes, do a quick evaluation of which favorites from last fall have seen better days. A great knit scarf or that pair of boots you’ve been eyeing will bring back that first-day-of-school-wardrobe feeling. And since you no longer grow 2 inches a month, you’ll even be able to wear them straight through the colder months.

Kick your cooking up a notch.

So you had ice cream on the boardwalk, fried Oreos at the fair, and way too much [linkbuilder id=”6443″ text=”fast food”] on that summer road trip? It’s a good thing fall calls for warming up your home.
Get thee to Pinterest for a menu reboot, and start making food at home again. You’ll be warmer, and all those wholesome eats will make your body feel better too.
Bonus: Think of all the money you’ll save eating food at home again.

Make (old) friends.

Fall used to mean meeting the new kids (or maybe even being the new kid) and the potential to make new friends. But with 657 Facebook friends you almost never see in person, you don’t have to get sweaty palms wondering if the new kid will want to come to your sleepover.
You already know these people; you just need to make some plans that involve seeing someone face to face. And if you really want to change things up, you could even try placing an actual phone call to make the date. Now that’s a reboot!

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Here Are 4 Ways Moving Your Body Can Improve Your Mental Health

If Sasha Brown-Worsham skips a workout, her mood plummets. “I snap and lash out,” the Maplewood, New Jersey, yoga teacher admits. “I get depressed and agitated and angry.” Her solution? Head into a yoga studio to take on a challenging asana or lace up for a run around her neighborhood.
“When I am moving, I feel alive!” she says.
Fitting time in your schedule to move with the level of commitment Brown-Worsham does isn’t always easy. The average American woman is working long hours of both paid and unpaid labor.
Some days you probably find yourself thinking “After a grocery run and grabbing coffee with Rachel, how am I really going to fit in a workout?”
But then again, if you’re thinking “I could really use a mood boost right now,” you’re not alone in that camp either. American women are more likely than American men to be diagnosed with anxiety or depression, and we make up more than half of all mental illness diagnoses in this country.
Whether you’re just feeling a little down in the dumps or you’re living with and learning to manage a diagnosed mental illness, there’s solid science out there that shows incorporating just a little movement into your day can make a big difference. Heck, it can even prevent someone who’s struggling from falling into depression (according to the scientists, anyway).
If you’re feeling the urge to get on your feet but you don’t think you’ll have time to make it to kickboxing class this week, here are some mood-boosting options that might fit the bill.

1. Dance around your kitchen.

If you can’t make it to the gym, bring the gym to you. Telling Alexa to play something sassy and moving your hips while you stir that tomato sauce won’t just burn some of the calories you’ve consumed throughout the day.
Dance movement therapy is actually prescribed by practitioners these days to help people cope with depression. Bonus to doing it in your own kitchen: You really can dance like no one is watching.

2. Take a walk.

A walk around the neighborhood may not help you work up a sweat like you would at CrossFit. But when you’ve got just 45 minutes between the end of the work day and your best friend’s kid’s soccer game, do you really want to show up smelling like the gym?
According to one Australian study, as little as 30 minutes in nature every week can decrease your depression risk by 7 percent, and it drops your blood pressure too. Lace up your sneakers and start smelling the roses.

3. Unfurl your yoga mat.

If you’re looking for a quick mood boost, a little quiet meditation and movement may be all you need. The effects of yoga on anxiety have gotten the thumbs up from researchers, and Brown-Worsham confirms that you don’t need to go in the studio to reap the benefits.
She’s known to head out on the back porch for a quick yoga session when she feels the need. If you don’t have time for a full yoga class, pull up a quick YouTube class (Yoga With Adriene has 10-minute options) and bliss out.

4. Turn a coffee date into a workout date.

When former Facebook executive Randi Zuckerberg said women have a choice of work, sleep, family or fitness, and they can only pick three, the world erupted. The general response? Randi, you are speaking our language!
So if you’re waffling between the much-needed mood boost that comes from coffee with your bestie or the equally needed pick-me-up of a workout, you might just want to marry the two. It turns out the only thing better for your mood than a workout is a workout with a friend.

Categories
Wellbeing

Time To Go Off The Grid? These Are The Ways Social Media Negatively Affects Our Mental Health

Jaimie Seaton is looking forward to the day when she can cut ties with social media. Because she’s a freelance journalist, social platforms are the New Englander’s lifeblood. They’re places where she finds work and makes crucial connections.
But they’re also slowly eroding Seaton’s mental health.
“When I was in Thailand [on vacation], I didn’t look at Twitter for two weeks and noticed a marked change in my mood,” Seaton says. “I was calmer, less anxious. I was more in the moment. If I were not a writer trying to get an agent, I would delete Twitter and never look again.”
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Seaton is far from alone; 8 in 10 Americans are now on some form of social media, according to figures from Pew Research Center, and some 35 percent of job seekers have used social media to help in their job search.
With social media dominating our everyday lives, it’s no wonder scientists are turning their eyes on the sites that keep Americans fixated every day. The bad news? They’re with Seaton: If you’re not careful, social media can do a number on your mental health.
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How can you keep your head above water? Here’s a look at how to juggle social media and your mental health.

Nothing compares to you.

When Dr. Brian Feinstein and his then-colleagues at the State University of New York at Stony Brook did a deep dive into the effects social networking could have on how people feel about themselves, the experts found something particularly troubling.

I get really, really triggered, feeling like everyone has it better than me, has done better than me, is better than me

Social media friends can provide connections. Then again, the researchers found, they can set us up to feel pretty awful about ourselves.
You know the friend who’s always posting photos of his fabulous vacations to far-flung places or sharing funny anecdotes about her picture-perfect spouse? If you shut down your laptop and you’re still thinking about that beach house that you’ll never be able to afford, it could be a sign of trouble ahead.
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“Some people who compare themselves to others on social media sites struggle to ‘let go’ of these comparisons and, instead of actively coping with their emotions or the problem at hand, they continue to focus on how they compare to others,” Feinstein says.
Sybil Sanchez admits she’s one of those ruminators. A marketing manager who uses social media regularly for her job, Sanchez says she can find it hard to walk away from her personal feed, but too much time online will pull her down into a depression.
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I get really, really triggered, feeling like everyone has it better than me, has done better than me, is better than me,” Sanchez says.

While it may seem like other people are always doing fun and exciting things, it is likely that they are just choosing to share these experiences rather than the more mundane or negative ones.

Clearly she’s not alone. Then again, a handful of studies and surveys indicate that most of our friends’ droolworthy posts and pictures are carefully constructed fakes anyway.
A LearnVest survey, for example, uncovered the fact that at least a third of guys are posting fake vacation shots to Instagram to make it seem like they were staying or eating at someplace a whole lot fancier than their real getaway. Another survey by British marketing firm Custard found that just 18 percent of people think their profiles are an accurate portrayal of their lives…the rest “dress things up a bit” to sound better.
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If you’re stuck on social, Feinstein says to keep all that fakery in mind.
“What others share on social media sites are just snapshots of their lives, and these snapshots tend to focus on their positive experiences and successes,” he says. “While it may seem like other people are always doing fun and exciting things, it is likely that they are just choosing to share these experiences rather than the more mundane or negative ones.”
So take everything with a grain of salt. And if you’re feeling jealous of that beach vacation, remember you’re just seeing the happy moments, not the time their toddler smacked them upside the head with a shovel.

Too Much of a Good Thing

The more time Jody Allard spends on social media, the more she feels depressed.
“I’ve noticed that social media use leaves me depressed, even if I’m not reading anything upsetting, so I try to be very mindful of that impact,” Allard says.
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When Allard, who’s the editor of a Seattle parenting magazine, feels the connection dragging her down, she takes a self-mandated break from social, cutting the amount of time she spends on any one platform. That’s a wise move, according to the scientists who study social media.
Being aware of how social media affects you is important, and so is how much you use it, says Dr. Brian Primack, director of the Center for Research on Media, Technology, and Health at University of Pittsburgh. Primack and a team of researchers looked at social media and isolation and found that the more you used, the more social isolation you felt. Specifically, using social media for more than two hours a day put study subjects at twice the risk of perceived social isolation than that of subjects who spent less than half an hour on the platforms every day.
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“People who were in the top quarter for frequency checking social media—compared with those in the lowest quarter—were about three times as likely to have perceived social isolation,” Primack says.
Primack is the first to say social media is a valuable tool, and he doesn’t advocate cutting all ties. Instead, he suggests his team’s work can be seen as a “cautionary tale” that reminds people to do what Allard does: Monitor their time on social media and the way it makes them feel. If you’re noticing ill effects, cut back!

Can’t Live With You, Can’t Live Without You

Sometimes the social networking problem isn’t what’s going on when you are online. It’s what’s going on when you’re not.
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Ever lost your phone or been unable to access your data plan—even for just a few hours—and gone into full blown panic? Then you’ve probably experienced FOMO, a term psychologists coined to describe the apprehension some people feel when they’re disconnected from social media and missing out on what their friends are up to.
Short for “fear of missing out,” FOMO has become so prevalent that it has even been added to the dictionary. But don’t let the cute nickname fool you: Doctors say FOMO is directly linked to mood issues and lower overall life satisfaction.
FOMO is a tricky beast, because even as the experts tell us we should spend more time away from our social networks, the time offline can be what fuels our anxiety.
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Primack sees this often with people who feel socially isolated already, people who turn to social sites to increase their social circles.
“This ‘self-medication’ doesn’t seem to be working so well,” he says. “On the other hand, it may be that people who use a lot of social media don’t have as much time for more fulfilling direct social experiences. It may also be that people who use social media a lot tend to feel like everyone else is strongly connected to each other. Then, in comparison, they might feel that they themselves are more socially isolated.”
The experts haven’t settled on one easy trick for kicking FOMO, although Feinstein points back to being aware that most of your friends are cultivating an online profile that may sound a whole lot better than the real thing.
His advice? Get out and do some of the activities that your friends post about. It’ll help take your mind off your social network and kick those comparisons you might feel when you’re online.
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Alaina Leary, a social media manager from Boston, offers this trick too: If you’ve got to be on social media, forget connections with the people who make you feel better. Leary has Ehlers–Danlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder, so she’s joined disability-specific communities where she has the freedom she doesn’t always have with non-disabled friends.
“I follow a lot of people who inspire me to be better, to practice self-love, to be radically vulnerable and radically myself. And I like and need that positivity in my life!” Leary says.
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Leary’s idea is similar to the advice Feinstein offers for people who are struggling to find a balance between the benefits of social and a healthy mental space.
“It may be helpful to use social media for specific purposes (e.g., to share an interesting article, to send a message to a friend), while minimizing the amount of time spent reading what other people are doing,” he offers.
In other words? Even the experts know social media is here to stay, and it has its benefits. But like most things, it’s best used in moderation.

Categories
Wellbeing

The Most Common Reasons Marriages Fail, According To Divorce Lawyers

When someone walks into Adam Dodge’s law office and asks the attorney to begin drawing up divorce papers, the first thought that goes through his mind is “Why?”
“I’m wondering how did they get to this point?” the co-author of the book The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Divorce: A Therapist and a Lawyer Guide You Through Your Divorce Journey tells HealthyWay. “People can arrive at this decision in a variety of ways, and the path taken will often dictate the steps moving forward. Was there infidelity? Did they come to this decision yesterday? Or was it a long time coming? Every case is the same, but every case is different.”
[pullquote align=”center”]“Basically, it wasn’t a partnership anymore, but I realized this in hindsight. At the time I just would have said, ‘I’m really lonely.’”[/pullquote]
Divorce rates have been climbing steadily in the past 50 years, and no one knows that better than the divorce attorneys whose job it is to help dissolve a marriage. The way Dodge looks at it, it’s also a divorce attorney’s job to figure out what caused their clients’ marriages to fail, so they can help them along the path to divorce.
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But knowing why people divorce doesn’t just help a lawyer help their clients. It also presents them with the opportunity to tell couples what not to do in their own relationships so they can avoid winding up in a courtroom.
As New Jersey divorce attorney (and sometimes matchmaker) Shlomo Bregman tells HealthyWay, knowing what causes divorce can help couples “reverse engineer” the problems before they crop up in their own marriages, preventing a trip to his office.
So what common marriage blow-ups should you be looking to avoid?

No Connection

Candice Kilpatrick’s marriage didn’t end with a bang. It was more of a whimper.
“We weren’t fighting, but we didn’t have a relationship beyond logistics with the kids,” the New York mom says of the final years of her 11-year marriage. “Basically, it wasn’t a partnership anymore, but I realized this in hindsight. At the time I just would have said, ‘I’m really lonely.’”
[pullquote align=”center”]“It’s like that old song, you’ve lost that loving feeling”
—Shlomo Bregman[/pullquote]
Her story is all too common and all too familiar for attorneys like Bregman. Many people walk into his office saying things like “I’m unhappy.”
“But if you probe, usually they say their spouse is giving them high doses of inattention,” Bregman explains. He chalks this one up to disconnection and a lack of communication between the two partners.
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Sometimes it’s because the partners have gone in different directions, sometimes because one is taking the other for granted. Often, Bregman’s clients will use phrases like “we’ve grown apart” or “the romance is gone,” to describe their feelings of loneliness.
“It’s like that old song, you’ve lost that loving feeling,” he says. “They’ll say ‘He changed’ or ‘She changed.’ ‘That is not the person I married.'”
No one likes being ignored, but it’s particularly frustrating when the person doing the ignoring is the one you’ve pledged to be with in sickness and in health. If a couple can’t find a better way to communicate and show each other they care, Bregman says it can lead to at least half of the couple feeling like they’d be better off alone. And often, they make that happen with a trip to a divorce lawyer.
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Bottom line: If your partner uses terms like “lonely,” or “unhappy,” start talking. Immediately!

Recommended books for communication:

Money Matters

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can ruin a marriage. No matter how much a couple has, it can still weigh heavy on a relationship. Watch the video below to see an example of how money matters, if handled improperly, can take their toll on a family:

Somebody got (too) social.

Couple meets. Couple falls in love. One half of the couple cheats on their spouse.
Infidelity is a tale as old as time, and it’s one of the leading reasons people end up in North Carolina divorce lawyer Angela McIlven’s office.
But while affairs are responsible for about 40 percent of all the divorces she handles, McIlven tells HealthyWay she’s seeing a modern twist on the old story of late. “With the popularity of social media, we have seen an increase in people having affairs,” she notes. “Or perhaps, they just get caught more often!”
[pullquote align=”center”]“I found a suspicious E-ZPass transaction.”[/pullquote]
Amanda Warner (name changed) knows all too well that this can happen. Her 10-year marriage was undone by online connections seven years ago.
Unbeknownst to her, Warner’s toddler had shoved her credit card into the CD drive of a computer, leaving her scrambling to find the card. When she asked her credit card company to issue a new one, Warner did an account review that turned up something strange.
“We had just had a very sad and miserable 10th anniversary,” she recalls. “And I found a suspicious E-ZPass transaction.”
After Warner confronted her husband, he eventually admitted to meeting a woman online and breaking their marriage vows. The couple’s marriage never recovered, and if scientific research is any indication, the growth in social media use could only mean more divorces.
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In one study published in 2014 in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, researchers from Boston University and Chile’s Pontificia Universidad Católica de Chile noted a negative correlation between social media usage and “marriage quality and happiness.” Researchers also tied use of social media to “experiencing a troubled relationship and thinking about divorce.”
Social media may not be avoidable, but staying alert to the lures of infidelity offered by the internet may be wise.

Them’s fightin’ words.

When someone is contemplating divorce but isn’t quite sure if they’re ready to end a marriage, legal threats can be the thing that pushes them right over the edge, says Dodge.
[pullquote align=”center”]“Clients must set about verifying the threat’s accuracy, and often the best place to do that is in the office of a divorce attorney.
—Adam Dodge[/pullquote]
Dodge often hears from clients that their spouse said things like “You’ll have to get a job immediately!” or “You’ll never see the kids again.”
Another popular threat is “I’m going to take everything.”
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“Legal threats require very little effort by the party making them but can intimidate an uniformed recipient into acting against their own best interests,” Dodge notes. “Clients must set about verifying the threat’s accuracy, and often the best place to do that is in the office of a divorce attorney.”
Threats may be blurted out in anger with no real intentions to carry through, but it turns out even empty threats can have very serious consequences for a marriage.
HealthyWay
Feeling heated? Find a healthy way to blow off steam and choose your words wisely.