Author: Lisa Douglas

Ever wonder what’s going on in the mind of that cute and cuddly baby of yours? Well it’s a lot more that you might think! Researchers have found that babies don’t sit idly in buzzing confusion, but instead observe, explore, imagine, deduce, judge, and learn way more than we ever thought possible. As these studies have demonstrated, in some ways babies are actually smarter than adults!

Unfortunately, most programs that are developed to help foster and develop more intelligence in babies are modeled the wrong way; they mimic programs for older kids by centering their curricula on focus, planning, and specific instruction. Unfortunately, babies don’t learn this way.

Research has shown that babies’ intelligence differs from adults in that they are terrible at planning and learning in order to reach certain goals. Babies are much more scattered than that. They often have trouble focusing on one event and shutting out the rest, which in the past has led many to believe that they are less intelligent than they actually are.

Until recently, babies’ abilities have been underestimated, but new research has shown that babies can be intelligent without being goal oriented.

As Alison Gopnik, University of California, Berkeley, professor of psychology notes:

“The learning that babies and young children do on their own, when they carefully watch an unexpected outcome and draw new conclusions from it, ceaselessly manipulate a new toy or imagine different ways that the world might be, is very different from schoolwork. 

“Babies and young children can learn about the world around them through all sorts of real-world objects and safe replicas. Babies can learn a great deal just by exploring the ways bowls fit together or by imitating a parent talking on the phone.”

Think you may be underestimating how intelligent your baby is? Here are eight ways that your baby is smarter than you think.

Babies understand how others are feeling.

According to a study published in Developmental Psychology, even infants who’ve never interacted with pets could match the different sounds that a dog makes to the corresponding facial expression and behavior.

For example, they could match angry growls to dogs displaying threatening behavior and friendly play sounds to licking and happy body language. A study at Brigham Young University found that infants could also detect mood swings in Beethoven’s music.

Young babies know what words mean.

It was always believed that babies couldn’t pair images with their corresponding names (for example pairing a picture of a dog with the word “dog”) until 1 year of age. But a recent study from the University of Pennsylvania found that babies as young as 6 months old can successfully do this—even before they can speak!

The researchers studied 6- to 9-month-old babies and had them look at pictures of foods and body parts while their parents gave them simple prompts such as “where are the eyes?” Surprisingly, the babies looked more at the item that was named than any of the other images, suggesting that they knew what the word meant.

Think that your baby isn’t understanding what you’re saying? Think again—and keep talking to her!

Babies know when proper punishment is necessary.

This revelation was quite surprising! A study at the University of British Columbia found that babies as young as 8 months old know when someone is doing something wrong, and they like when they are punished for their wrongdoing.

In the study, researchers used puppets to present different situations in which the puppets acted negatively or positively toward the other puppets. In response to their good or bad behavior, the puppets were either rewarded or punished by being given toys or having toys taken away from them.

The babies liked the puppets that punished the bad puppets for being naughty and disliked those that were nice to the bad puppets.

The researchers think that this may be the building block of the social behaviors that kids express later on in life, such as frowning and tattling on kids who aren’t nice or do bad things. Interestingly, these findings would indicate that this trait is related to nature and not nurture.

Babies value altruism.

Babies always seem to want or need things, and they often scream or wail until they get them. But a new study found that toddlers are actually happier giving things away than getting them.

In the study, researchers gave a group of toddlers goldfish crackers and instructed them to give them to a puppet. Then the toddlers were given an extra treat to give to the puppet (they could keep one and give one away).

The researchers found that the kids were happier when they gave away their own treat as opposed to the extra one originally designated for the puppet. This behavior exhibited one of the most innate, loving traits of human nature: the desire and joy derived from giving to and helping others.

Toddlers are affected by peer pressure.

Remember what you used to exclaim to your parents as they yelled at you for doing something wrong? “But Mom…Dave and Mike were doing it too!” Apparently there’s a reason why kids do things in groups—they’re affected by peer pressure!

A 2012 study published in the Journal of Cell Biology found that 2-year-olds copied the behavior (good or bad) of their friends, especially if three or more of them were doing it.

Young toddlers can gauge fairness.

Think you can pull the wool over your baby’s eyes and get away with it? Nope! You can’t. According to research done at the University of Washington, babies as young as 15 months know what’s equal and when something is not fair. In one study, scientists had babies watch videos in which milk or crackers were distributed equally or unequally between two people.

When the distribution was unequal (not fair), the babies paid more attention, indicating that they could tell that it was so. Even more interesting was the behavior of the babies who were the most sensitive to the unequal distribution.

After the study and in a subsequent one, these children were most likely to show signs of altruism and share their own toy—possibly trying to correct a wrong with a right?

Babies know when you’re speaking another language.

Scientists have known for a long time that infants and babies learn languages more easily than older kids and adults, but they never really knew why.

A study at the University of British Columbia shed some light on this in their findings that babies as young as 4 months can tell from visual cues (e.g., the shape and rhythm of the speaker’s mouth and facial movements) when a new language is being spoken.

According to the university, babies growing up in bilingual and multilingual environments have an advantage over children who only speak one language: They learn and maintain throughout their lives the discrimination abilities needed for separating languages and learning multiple ones.

Babies’ brains thrive when they play music.

You’ve probably heard for years about the positive link between music and IQ, but further research shows that even young babies benefit from the exposure to playing musical instruments and actually making music.

A Canadian study found that 1-year-old babies who took interactive music classes (in which they learned hand motions, “played” instruments, and sang songs) had better communication skills than babies who took a less active, less involved class.

The kids in the interactive class were more interactive themselves and showed this by waving goodbye, pointing to objects that they found interesting or wanted, and exhibited less distress in unfamiliar surroundings.

To vaccinate or not vaccinate? That’s an important question that every parent faces.

According to the CDC, “Vaccines are our best defense against infections that may have serious complications such as pneumonia, meningitis, cancer, and even death.” They recommend vaccinations to protect against 14 infectious diseases, before the age of two years. They include: measles, mumps, rubella, varicella, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis, haemophilus influenza type B, polio, influenza, rotavirus, and pneumococcal disease.” Other experts agree and equate vaccinating to wearing a seatbelt.

However, while science has proved that it’s safe, effective, and truly necessary to immunize, there’s an increasingly large group of parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. A study showed that nine out of 10 pediatricians say that they have been asked by at least one parent in their practice to alter their child’s immunization schedule—with most of those parents claiming that the vaccines are unnecessary.

Confused? Here’s a list of seven of the dangerous anti-vaccination arguments that parents make—and why they’re bogus.

They may cause autism.

Despite clear evidence that vaccines do not cause autism, this is often a major argument of “anti-vaxxers.” The Autism Science Foundation (and other autism related groups), as well as the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics have all released lists of studies that show no link between vaccination and autism.

The one study that people who don’t vaccinate often cite is the one that was conducted in 1998 by physician-researcher Dr. Andrew Wakefield. Unfortunately, his conclusions didn’t hold much water, as the research he conducted turned out to be fabricated. Dr. Wakefield admitted to falsifying the data and was subsequently stripped of his license.

Despite this, plenty of parents have shared anecdotes of children developing autism after being vaccinated. Anecdotal evidence, though, can hardly be compared with scientific fact; no direct proof of causation has been found and experts believe that those kids would probably have developed autism regardless of vaccination.

Vaccines may overload a child’s immune system.

From the day that babies are born, they’re pummeled by germs and viruses that serve to strengthen their bodies. They’re exposed to thousands of antigens (the immune boosting micro-organisms in germs) a day through eating different foods, putting their hands and objects in their mouths, and being around people who are sick.

Vaccines contain these same antigens and boost a baby’s immune system in the exact, same way—only with much less of a punch. The number of antigens that vaccines contain are equivalent to a child being exposed to a mild infection. For example, when a child has a cold, he or she is exposed to up to 10 antigens; with “strep throat,” the child is exposed to up to 25 to 50 antigens.

Each vaccine in the pediatric vaccination schedule has between one and 69 antigens. The total amount that a child may be exposed to through vaccination, by the age of 2, is a mere 315 antigens. That’s a drop in the bucket compared to what we pick up in our day-to-day life and isn’t something to be concerned about.

It’s only my decision and affects only me and my child if I don’t vaccinate.

Parents who don’t vaccinate their kids not only jeopardize their own children’s lives, but also the lives of those who surround them. Lives at risk include the ones of those who aren’t vaccinated or medically cannot be, including newborn babies, the elderly, people with lessened immune systems (like immunocompromised cancer patients on chemotherapy) and pregnant women.

With every non-vaccinated life, the ability of people to be protected via association becomes increasingly more compromised. “Herd” or “community immunity” occurs when the vast majority of people are immunized in a population; those who aren’t able to be immunized are still offered protection because the spread of contagious disease is contained—sort of like an immunity umbrella.

However, this homeostasis is jarred when the numbers of non-immunized children rise above a certain percent. It’s believed that in order to maintain herd immunity, 83 to 94 percent of the population needs to be vaccinated. With every family that chooses not to vaccinate, this precarious balance is in danger.

Natural immunity is better than vaccinations.

Natural immunity of a child can occur in different ways.

Maternal passive immunity occurs when antibodies are passed from the placenta to the fetus in order to protect a newborn. This immunity has a short shelf life and only lasts a few months. Immunity against bacterial infection is also provided through antibodies found in breastmilk, and serves to protect the baby until she can build these defenses on her own.

Natural immunity can also be acquired when a baby is exposed to a pathogen (germ or virus). Research shows that the immune response of people who have been vaccinated against disease is just as good as the immune response of people whose immunity comes from an infection.

However, a vaccine-acquired immunity, especially in the case of a child, is preferred because the child needs not tolerate the actual infection in order to be protected. With natural immunity, a baby can become sick, suffer the illnesses side effects including possible death on her way to becoming immunized.

The illnesses we vaccinate for are in the past and no longer affect us.

This is true so long that most people are immunized and herd immunity is present. When a large majority of the population can inherently fight off the pathogens that invade their systems, everyone is protected and a disease can never establish itself and spread like crazy.

However, if larger percentages of the population don’t vaccinate, an increased percentage of the populations will be vulnerable (eventually making everyone vulnerable). This gives viruses and bacteria the opportunity to attack, get stronger, and stay longer. Even though the threat of certain diseases seem to be gone in the U.S., they are quite prevalent elsewhere.

International travel is great in terms of life experience, but not so great if you bring back a disease. Combine the dissolution of herd immunity with the introduction of a foreign disease and the potential for an epidemic rises.

Vaccines are filled with other unhealthy material.

Most vaccines are made of antigens (dead or dormant disease), adjuvants (to enhance the immune system response), antibiotics (to prevent bacteria and other contaminants during the making of the vaccine), preservatives and stabilizers (albumin, phenols, and glycine), and suspending fluid (sterile water, saline, or fluids containing protein).

Many anti-vax parents are concerned about the use of thimerosal as a preservative, as it contains trace amounts of mercury. The type of mercury that’s found in thimerosal is ethylmercury. It differs from methylmercury, the type of mercury that’s found in fish and that is known to be harmful to kids in certain amounts. Ethylmercury is broken down in the body and excreted much quicker than methylmercury, and has not been shown to cause autism or any other harmful effects.

As a precaution, manufacturers have stopped using thimerosal in the making of vaccinations any way—it’s now only used in the influenza vaccine and thimerosal-free options are also available.

Vaccines are a good way for large companies to make money.

Look, we live in a capitalist society. That means everyone needs to make money—even pharmaceutical companies and pediatricians. However, to say that these individuals push vaccinations to make a profit is not only incorrect, it’s grossly irresponsible. Looking more closely, pediatricians and drug companies are not only not getting rich on vaccines, they often lose money on vaccine administration.

At one time, the financial profits of vaccine business were so bad that many pharmaceutical firms actually sold their vaccine divisions to other companies so that they could concentrate on more profitable drugs. They found they could make more money selling the medicines that people took daily than the vaccines that were administered only once a year—and sometimes only once in a lifetime.

It may seem astounding to learn that the vaccine industry is valued at over $24 billion, however, it only makes up a mere 2 to 3 percent of a trillion-dollar worldwide pharmaceutical industry. Additionally, it’s important to note that pharmaceuticals rarely receive funding by the federal government. Most of the money goes to vaccine research by the National Institutes of Health.

Have you ever walked into a room, noticed how the kids were sitting, and thought to yourself, “Geez, how can they possibly sit that way? If I sat that way, I’d never be able to get up!” Actually—you’re probably right. Compared with adults, kids are much more flexible and have joints that are hypermobile.

As they grow, kids’ tendons, muscles, and ligaments slowly become tighter. In most cases, the greater range of motion that they’ve experienced in their joints will gradually disappear. You’ve probably felt yourself getting less flexible as you get older too.

Stretching is good for you, and it feels good to stretch and be flexible. But sometimes, as is often the case with kids, being able to overstretch can be a problem. The hyperflexibility that kids enjoy allows them to put themselves into crazy positions because, well, they can—and it’s not uncomfortable for them to do so.

But just because their bodies are able to tolerate those positions doesn’t mean it’s okay for them to do it. Unfortunately, it often ends up hurting them over time. Such is the case with what’s known as the W position.

Google the W position and you’ll be bombarded with websites of physical therapists, doctors, and healthcare professionals weighing in on how detrimental it is for kids’ bodies.

In your search, you’ll also get conflicting opinions from others, including moms, alternative healthcare practitioners, and massage therapists offering their opinions on why the W position isn’t so bad and that there are so many more important issues to worry about regarding the health and wellness of kids.

What should you do with your own children? Who is right? Well, in truth, they all are. Here’s the scoop.

What is the W position?

The W position is a seated position in which a child is basically sitting upright on their knees with their legs fanned out in opposite directions—making the shape of the letter W. At first glance, it would seem awfully painful to sit that way—and it would be, if your knees weren’t flexible.

But kids’ lower bodies are super flexible, and they can do it easily. However, studies have shown that excessive use of this position during kids’ growing years can lead to future orthopedic problems.

Why do kids sit like that?

Kids love to play and be active, and the floor is often their most preferred space. They grab toys, twist themselves, and contort their bodies according to the need of the activity that they’re doing.

Kids intrinsically know what’s comfortable for them and what will give them the greatest “edge” in play. They realize pretty quickly that the W position offers them the most balance by giving them added trunk and hip stability to allow easier toy manipulation and play.

What harm does the W position cause?

Sitting once or twice in the W position will cause no long-term harm, but if a child uses this as their go-to way of sitting for multiple hours a day every day, that’s when it can become a problem, both physically and developmentally.

In the W position, the muscles, ligaments, and joints are put in unnatural positions. As a result, the lateral muscles in a child’s legs will begin to tighten and cause the insides of their legs to become weak and loose.

This imbalance can affect th
e development of their motor skills, balance, and coordination. It also can cause some major problems with their knees and ligaments, including kneecap tracking issues, tendinitis, dislocation, and ligament strains.

Issues of not sitting properly will affect not only a child’s knees but also their hips, back, and core. Improper alignment of their muscles can tighten their hips, wreak havoc on the muscles in their back, and cause their core to be weak. Because proper posture is not required in this position, the back and core muscles don’t have to do much work, and strength will start to deteriorate.

Unfortunately, there’s a bit of a ripple effect. When the back and core become weak and posture is compromised, the neck and head can be affected, often painfully.

Part of the issue with the W position is the inability of a child to move around properly and naturally. Sure they’re more balanced and “fixed” through the trunk, but it doesn’t allow for trunk rotation or lateral weight shifts (like twisting to reach for things).

It’s easy to see why this position appeals to children, but experts believe that the more a child sits in the W position, the more likely they are to miss developing more mature movement patterns that are necessary for higher-level skills.

What other positions are bad for kids?

Unfortunately, the W position is only one of many common seated positions that aren’t great for kids.

The cross-legged position (“criss/cross applesauce”) places a child’s legs in much the same position as the W, and children who do this often will also suffer from the same issues (tightening of the outside of the legs and loosening of the inside, posture problems, and weak core).

Additionally, further issues occur when a child crosses the same leg over every time. It can set up unhealthy imbalances and throw their body even more out of alignment.

Sitting on the heels is considered a slightly better position, but not great either. It puts added strain on the knees and also compresses the knee joint and puts pressure on knee cartilage. This can cause pain, strain, and eventually, possible dislocation.

It can weaken the core and back, and it puts strain on the anterior portion of the ankle, which can lead to instability. Minor injuries can occur, such as twisting and sprains, or in some cases, more major ones, like fractures.

The hurdler stretch is a more exaggerated version of the W stretch, and the issues that go along with this stretch are, accordingly, a lot worse.

Most fitness programs and school athletics no longer use this stretch and have traded it for the healthier figure 4 stretch instead.

The hurdler stretch puts strain and pressure on the knee, most particularly the medial collateral ligaments (MCL), and also the inner thigh and hip ligaments. This position should be avoided at all costs.

So how should kids sit?

By now you might be shaking your head and are so confused that you’ve resolved to have your child just stand for the rest of their life. There’s no need to worry! Through daily practice of proper seating, you’ll be able to change your child’s sitting habits to healthier ones.

When children are sitting on the floor, the most recommended position is sitting with both knees bent, to the front of the body. Their arms can be back behind them or hugging their knees.

They can also sit with their legs completely extended to the front with their arms behind them. If a wall is nearby, it may be helpful to lean against it.

Normal sitting position tucks the sacrum (tailbone) underneath the body and puts pressure on the lower back. If the child is sitting on the floor—in any position—it’s helpful to put a towel or pillow under their rear end.

Sitting on an exercise ball is actually the best sitting position for a child (and adults, too!) It puts them in proper position, keeps the lower back aligned, and helps activate the core. Plus it’s fun!

Knowing the most basic tips of first aid can save your child’s life. Thousands of children every year suffer from life-threatening accidents such as poisoning, head trauma, and burns. Statistics show that 140,000 people die each year in situations in which first aid could have helped save their lives. 

Unfortunately, most parents aren’t doing their part to help; 80 percent of parents with children aged 6 to 9 say they wouldn’t have a clue how to deal with a medical emergency. Another disturbing statistic is that 57 percent of parents said they would leave an injured child alone until an ambulance arrived.

As far as first aid is concerned, a little knowledge goes a very long way. The key to handling an emergency situation successfully is to be calm and prepared. Here are the most common injuries in kids and how to deal with them.

Choking

A child’s airway can be impeded by small objects, toys, or food like nuts, grapes, and hot dogs. If you notice your kid coughing, they’re trying to get air into their lungs and clear their airway. Coughing is the most effective way to clear an airway. If the child can’t cough or make a sound, or if their skin turns bright red or blue—they may have stopped breathing and someone must call 911 immediately.

If you’re alone, administer two minutes of CPR, then call 911. Proceed with the following.

Try to dislodge the stuck object by giving five blows to their back. Place them face down on your forearm, and use the heel of your other hand to deliver five firm back blows to the area between their shoulder blades.

If the object doesn’t come up, turn them on their back and make sure that their head and neck are lower than their torso. Start with five chest compressions. Repeat five blows and five chest compressions until the object is coughed up or baby starts to breathe or cough.

If the baby becomes unconscious, give them two rescue breaths by putting your mouth on their mouth and nose. If the breaths don’t go in, tilt their head further back, lift their chin, and give two more breaths. Try looking for the stuck object. Be careful not to stick your finger in their mouth unless you can actually retrieve the object—you can end up pushing it down further.

Give another rescue breath. If their chest doesn’t rise, you must start CPR. Give 30 compressions followed by two rescue breaths. Check for breathing and if the stuck object has dislodged. If you notice no change, continue giving sets of 30 compressions and two rescue breaths until they can breathe, an automated external defibrillator (AED) is ready to use, or emergency medical services arrives. If they begin to breathe, give one more breath then monitor their breathing and pulse.

Skin Wounds

Minor Scrapes and Cuts

Most of these can be treated easily. Simply wash the cut with soap and water, pat dry, and then apply an antibiotic ointment (bacitracin or Neosporin) and a bandage. Replace the bandage once a day until it heals.

If you notice the area getting redder or pus discharging—or if your child develops a fever—call your doctor.

Bruises

If your child’s skin looks purplish or red, it means that there was bleeding under the skin. Apply ice to the area to decrease pain and swelling. 

(Pro tip: freeze wet sponges in Ziploc bags to create reusable, affordable ice packs!)

Severe Cuts

If you can’t
stop a wound from bleeding after several attempts at direct pressure, or if it continues to bleed for more than five minutes, call 911.

Continue to apply pressure with a clean cloth to the site and elevate the injured area above the heart if you can.

Head

Head injuries are the most common type of injury in young children. There are varying degrees of injury to the head, but as a rule of thumb, call 911 immediately if your child exhibits any of the following: loss of consciousness, seizure, bruising around the eyes or behind the ears, lethargy or disorientation, or oozing blood or other fluid from the ears or nose.

In the case of a head injury, your child SHOULD NOT be moved under any circumstances. It could further injure them. Even the mildest head injury should be seen by a doctor; they’ll be able to test for a concussion and other injuries.

Nosebleeds

Nosebleeds may be common in kids, but they also may be a result of injury. Have your child sit upright and pinch the lower end of their nose close to their nostrils.

Lean them forward and apply constant pressure for five to 10 minutes. If trauma occurred to the nose, apply ice against the bridge of their nose.

Eye

An eye injury needs to be handled with as much care as a head injury. The greatest concern with eye injuries is if the vision is damaged. As with head injuries, all eye injuries, no matter how minor they seem, should be seen by a doctor. Common injuries to the eye include bruising, scratches on the cornea, or foreign substance in the eye.

If the child has severe pain, tearing, blurry vision, or light sensitivity after being hit in the eye, hold a cool, wet cloth over their eye and head to your doctor or emergency room. It’s important not to rub the eye, administer any medication, or remove any embedded objects on your own.

If a substance does happen to fall or splash in the eye, flush it with water for 15 minutes, then head to the doctor. If the substance is a chemical, call Poison Control: 800-222-1222.

Burns

Burns to the skin are normally classified into three degrees and characterized by the following: first degree (redness), second degree (blistering), and third degree (charring of the skin).

For any type of burn, the first rule is to cool the burned area by running it under water. Cover the burn or any blisters with a clean bandage or gauze. Never apply ice or ointment directly to a burn.

If any burns are on the face, hands, or genitals or if they’re larger than ¼ inch, then you should call the doctor. Additionally, if the burn is deep (skin is white or brown and dry) go directly to the ER. If your child has been burned by a chemical (e.g., paint remover, oven cleaner, or bleach) run cool water over the area and call 911.

If it’s an electrical burn (such as when a child puts a metal object into an outlet or bites an electrical cord), keep the burn away from water, cover it with a bandage, and call 911.

Poisoning

Accidental poisoning should be taken extremely seriously. Babies and young children are especially susceptible to poisoning because of their small size and underdeveloped physiology. If you think that your child has ingested a toxic substance (e.g., medicine, pesticide, supplement, cleaning product, household chemical) you must call Poison Control immediately: 800–222–1222.

When you call, try to have as much information as possible for the phone agent: what product was ingested, ingredients in t
he product, how much you suspect your child ingested, the child’s symptoms, at what time the ingestion occurred, and if your child has any medical conditions.

Do NOT make your child vomit by administering ipecac or activated charcoal unless directed by a healthcare professional. Check your child’s mouth to see if any poison remains and have them spit it out. Save this, along with any vomited material. They may be necessary to analyze what was ingested.

Way back when, extended family members like grandparents, aunts, and cousins filled the role of caretaker for kids. In modern society, life has changed, and nannies who are unrelated to their employers are sometimes hired to do the work. The nanny is not technically a family member, but she’s often treated like one. She lives in the home of the family that she works for, eats with them, plays with them, and even goes on vacations with them.

Because of the nature of the close relationship, the line between employer and employee often gets blurred (or even erased), and employers end up doing things in front of their employee that they would normally keep private. They treat their nannies as if they were family, and that’s not always a good thing.

Wonder what it’s like to be a nanny? Here are some things that nannies wish their employers (er, the parents) would stop doing in front of them.

Talk About Money

Whichever way this discussion heads, it never ends up being a good idea. If a parent talks about how they’re struggling financially, it’s going to make the nanny feel like she’s charging too much or should worry about the security of her job. If a parent talks about how they’re raking it in, it can leave a nanny feeling undervalued and that she’s not getting paid enough.

Regardless, it’s a no-win situation, and all matters regarding money that don’t involve the nanny directly should be kept private.

Fight With SO

Have you ever been in the company of couple that has been fighting? It’s super uncomfortable. Nannies feel the exact same way when their employers fight. They don’t know whether to stay, to go, to pretend like nothing is happening, or to take sides.

Either way, fights are usually about private matters, and a nanny shouldn’t be involved in or privy to that information.

Belittle Their Kids

A nanny’s job is to love the kids she works with, care for them, keep their schedules, and make sure they’re safe. When parents talk badly about their children—whether it’s deserved or not—it puts the nanny in a really awkward position. She’s torn between her loyalty to the child and the loyalty she has to her employer.

Does she defend the child in front of the parent or does she side with the parent in fear that she’ll lose her job? It’s an unfair spot for a parent to put her nanny in.

Belittle Their Nannies

Belittling an employee—especially one who lives in the privacy and close confines of a house—is disrespectful and abusive. It also sets a bad example for the kids with whom she works. It teaches them that it’s okay to treat her (and others) in a disrespectful manner.

Expectations and specific instructions should be clear in advance so that there is no confusion or room for misunderstanding.

Make Them Feel Guilty About How They Choose to Spend the Money They Make

It’s never a good idea to look in other people’s pockets, especially those of employees. For an employer to comment on how an employee spends her money is disrespectful, degrading, and will leave the nanny feeling like she doesn’t deserve her salary.

She may also feel that her employer isn’t happy with the salary that she pays her.

Belittle Their Spouse

It never bodes well for an employer to bad-mouth another employer to an employee. It shows lack of cohesiveness and respect, and it puts the employee in an uncomfortable position when dealing with either one of them.

In the case of a nanny, will her agreement with the bad-mouthing parent put her temporarily “in good” with her one employer but eventually work against her with the other? What if the other parent finds out? The nanny may feel torn and that her job is at stake.

Talk About Politics and Other Sensitive Issues

A wise man once said, “Never talk about religion or politics in polite company.” These subjects are often taboo because of their highly sensitive natures. People can be emotionally attached to their beliefs, and heated discussions don’t often end amicably. A nanny may feel pressured if she doesn’t agree with the viewpoints of her employer.

It’s not a wise (or fair) practice to discuss these topics with the people who live in your home to care for your kids.

Get It on With Their Co-Employers

It’s lovely that two parents feel passion for each other and like to show affection. A little is great; a lot, not so much. Overdoing intimate acts of affection in front of an employee—even though it’s done in the privacy of one’s own home—can cause an employee to feel uncomfortable.

It’s best to close the door and keep private things private!

Complain About the Last Nanny

Talking about how bad the previous nanny acted or dressed may make a current nanny feel secure and wanted at first, but ultimately it will end up doing the exact opposite. She can feel insecure about herself and in her job—and also may worry that her employers are talking about her as well (which never makes anyone feel good).

If a parent wants to highlight things that they’d like a current nanny to do that the old nanny wasn’t so great at, that’s perfectly fine…but it must be done in a positive and professional manner.

Make Them Feel Guilty About Lack of Overtime

Forcing someone to do something out of guilt often leaves the person feeling used and disgruntled, which is not how a parent should want her nanny to feel when she’s logging in extra hours watching her precious children.

It’s just savvy management and common sense.

Bribe Them to Stay With Their Family

The parent/nanny relationship must be based on mutual understanding and respect. If a nanny decides that it’s time to move on and puts in her two-week resignation notice, the parent must respect her choice. If the parent expresses a desire for her nanny to stay, it’s acceptable to make her an offer. But anything more than that is completely inappropriate.

Bribery, manipulation, and guilt are disrespectful and inappropriate—and may make the nanny sprint away even faster.

Put Them in a Position to Choose Between the Child and the Parent

A nanny’s relationship with the children she cares for is sacred and dear—and also built on trust. The sure way to degrade this precious relationship is to put a nanny in a position to “rat out” the child in front of the parent.

The best approach is to take the nanny aside and discuss the issue at hand instead of putting her in an awkward position that might compromise her trust with the children.

Make Them Talk About Other Kids and Other Families

Parents wouldn’t want their nannies talking about their own kids and personal matters to other nannies and families; so it should be common sense and part of a moral code that they wouldn’t put their nannies in a position to talk about others.

Asking a nanny for “secret information” about another family is immature and unfair.

Try to Steal Their Nanny Friends Away From Other Families

If a parent needs extra help and asks her nanny if she has any suggestions, that’s totally fine. But coercing a nanny to act without integrity and try to “steal” her friends away from other positions is totally unacceptable. This puts the nanny in the bad spot of having to do something that lacks integrity in fear that she will lose her job.

If a parent wants to act as such, he or she should at least do their own dirty work and not exploit their relationship with the nanny—or the nanny’s own personal relationships.

You dream about your beautiful baby for 9 months and expect it to be the most perfect little angel…and then you give birth to your little alien look-alike. How could something so beautiful look so strange and do the weirdest things? Newborns are funny! As unsettling as it may be for new parents, many of the things about newborns that look so odd are totally normal.

Here are the most common—and how to tell if the weird should be worrisome.

Explosive Poop

Babies’ bowel movements consist mostly of liquid, so it’s easy for them to be propelled out with force. Don’t be surprised if you have a couple of diaper sessions in which your baby (or you) end up covered in the stuff.

We have one piece of advice: just get used to it. Oh, and have lots of wipes handy.
Weird or Worrisome:
As long as the color and texture of baby’s bowel movements stay consistent, your baby is fine.

If you notice a major change in hue or consistency or blood in her stool, it’s time to call your doctor.

Spastic Movements

There’s a loud noise and your baby jumps and reaches his arms out. What the heck?!

In the beginning, your baby is learning how to control his body and reactions and is often interrupted by natural reflexes. This funny one is known as the Moro reflex and is exhibited when a baby is startled by something or feeling scared.

Babies may experience even more of these jerky movements when they’re sleeping. Their nervous systems are immature and uncoordinated, and their involuntary actions often become even more uncontrollable while they’re napping. Babies can flail about so much that they wake themselves up! There’s no need to worry, though. These spastic movements normally pass by 3 or 4 months of age.
Weird or Worrisome:
If your baby’s not exhibiting any of these funny movements, you should be worried. Call your doctor if you fail to see any funny or jerky reactions.

Baby Boobs

Remember those hormones that made you crazy during your pregnancy? Well, guess what? They affected your baby too. Extra estrogen can be passed through the umbilical cord and cause your sweet baby (yes, even boys) to develop breast buds.

The same hormones that cause your breasts to swell and milk glands to be stimulated can do the same to your baby’s breasts. What’s even crazier is that these tiny little breasts can actually leak fluid. No need to fret, though! This condition should go away as your baby clears himself of the extra hormones. That’s usually within a few weeks or months.
Weird or Worrisome:
If you notice any redness or severe tenderness around your baby’s breast you may want to call the doctor.

It’s helpful to take your baby’s temperature to make sure that he’s not running a fever due to infection.

Cradle Cap

Flaky, dry, brownish crusty spots on your baby’s head can look nasty, but it’s totally normal. No one really knows why it happens, but it’s considered a form of dermatitis (inflamed skin). Some experts think that hormones babies get toward the end of pregnancy cause a baby’s oil-producing glands to go nuts, resulting in cradle cap.

It often shows up in the first few months of life but goes away after six to 12 months. It’s not contagious, and you can help your baby get rid of it more quickly. Doctors recommend that you rub your baby’s head with a little natural baby oil daily, and then use a fine-toothed comb to lightly scrape some of the dry skin off.
Weird or Worrisome:
There’s nothing really to worry about with cradle cap, but if you see the rash getting more severe or spreading to different parts of your baby’s body, it’s time to call the doctor.

Whatever do you, don’t pick it off with your fingernails!

Sneezing and Mucus

There’s nothing cuter than the sound of a baby sneezing. There are a bunch of reasons why your baby may be filled with mucus, and the main one is once again Mom’s overabundance of hormones. Remember how you were stuffy and felt like you had a perpetual cold—especially in the later months of your pregnancy? Well, your baby is experiencing the same thing.

Hormones make mucosal linings thicker, causing airways to get clogged. Your baby also may be sneezing because she’s trying to get some stuff out of her nose like dust, extra mucus, or sometimes even amniotic fluid. This condition should also clear up on its own, but in the meantime, some moms swear by nasal aspirators to help make baby more comfortable.
Weird or Worrisome:
If your baby is coughing or wheezing along with sneezing, it may be a sign of infection or allergies.

Have your doctor check her breathing passages and swallowing to make sure that everything is normal.

Swollen Genitals

So you’re presented with your baby and you think “Holy cow!” His genitals might look huge compared to the rest of his body. Before you panic, know that this is a very normal condition for both newborn girls and boys.

For up to a few days after delivery, hormones and extra fluid that your baby retains can collect in the genitals and cause swollen testicles in boys and swollen labia in girls. In time, your baby will shed the extra bloat across their whole body (sometimes up to 10 percent of their weight!) and everything will return to normal size.
Weird or Worrisome:
If you still notice swollen tissue after a week or two, you may want to check with your doctor, particularly if you have a boy.

They can develop a condition known as hydrocele, which is benign but can take some time to clear up.

Odd-Shaped Head

Your baby comes out of your womb and his head is shaped like a cone. You panic and think “My baby’s going to look like an alien forever!” Let us ease your mind.

Coming out of the birth canal is pretty tough work, and fortunately, nature has provided tools to make it easier on your baby. His head is malleable and can adapt to the shape of the canal to allow for a smoother exit. It may look weird at first, but his head will return to its normal shape within a few weeks after birth.

You may notice, however, that in time he might develop some flat parts on his head. This can be caused by lying on one side for an extended period. To avoid or cure this, doctors recommend alternating sleep positions, holding baby a little more often, and increasing tummy time.
Weird or Worrisome:
If you’ve tried everything and your baby’s head won’t return to normal, your doctor may recommend some help, such having him wear a helmet.

Crossed Eyes

Your newborn has a lot of new things to manage and can sometimes can have a little trouble with muscle control and being able to focus. No worries! Your baby is getting stronger every day and should be able to master the skill in no time.

Sometimes, though, it may only appear that your baby’s eyes are crossed. This is an optical illusion known as pseudoesotropia. The broad bridge of your baby’s nose and extra skin folds can hide the whites of her eyes and just make it look like her pupils are pointing inward. You can check to see if this is the case by looking closely to see if her pupils match up and move in the same direction together.
Weird or Worrisome:
If your baby is still showing signs of crossed eyes at 6 months of age, you may want to bring her in to have her checked.

She could have a condition known as lazy eye or another issue.

Although breastfeeding rates continue to rise in the U.S., experts agree that most women don’t nurse for as long as recommended. In 2011, 79 percent of newborns started to breastfeed, but at 6 months only 49 percent were still breastfeeding, and at 12 months, only 27 percent.

The reasons that women stop breastfeeding so quickly are plenty, including frustration with getting the baby to latch on, fear that the baby isn’t getting enough nutrition, and the mother’s own exhaustion. Lack of support plays a huge role in the cessation of nursing too. New moms often rely on the advice of well-meaning family and friends, which often is inaccurate or just not true.

Are you thinking about breastfeeding? Are you just starting out and are nervous about the advice that you’re getting? Let us help you! Here are the biggest myths about breastfeeding your baby.

1. Breastfeeding is easy.

Statistics show that three days after beginning to breastfeed, 92 percent of new mothers say they had trouble with it. Yes, breastfeeding is natural, and yes, your body was made for it. But that doesn’t make breastfeeding easy. Trouble with milk production and maintenance, latching on, sore nipples, baby fussiness, and worries about baby getting enough milk are among the top concerns of new moms.

And nothing adds to a struggling mom’s frustration more than a family member asking, “How come you can’t breastfeed?” or “Why don’t you just give her formula?” The truth is, the experience of breastfeeding is different for different women. It comes easily to some and harder to others.
Additionally, the breastfeeding experience is often unique with each child. During the first couple of weeks, it’s can be really helpful to have a lactation consultant or trained nurse to offer guidance, support, and useful tips for breastfeeding.

2. You can prep your breasts.

“Toughening up” your nipples, like once was recommended, does nothing more than leave you with sore nipples before you even start to breastfeed. Unfortunately, the only thing that you can do to prep for breastfeeding is buy a great pump, read up on latching positions, and figure out where you’ll pump at work if you need to.

Other than that, the rest is up to your baby—and your baby’s temperament. As the old saying goes, “Mom plans and baby laughs.”

3. If you have small breasts you won’t be able to breastfeed.

Nonsense! The amount of milk that’s produced by a mother’s breast isn’t determined by the size of her breasts.

The mother’s breast tissue that’s needed for breastfeeding increases in response to pregnancy. The milk ducts are located in this tissue, not the fatty tissue that gives un-pregnant breasts their size.

4. If you drink water and eat properly, your milk will come in.

Or this variation: “If you don’t drink enough water, your milk won’t come in.” Proper nutrition and hydration are critical for the health not only of lactating moms but of everyone else as well.

It’s true that if you don’t drink enough water your milk will be affected, but proper hydration doesn’t ensure that your milk will be plentiful. And neither does a proper diet. There is so much more that goes into milk production that can’t be chalked up to just proper nutrition.

5. Breastfed babies feed more often.

The truth is: They do and they don’t. Internal feeding times are established by the baby and can range from every two to three hours to every hour if they’re hungry or quickly growing.

You should discuss with your doctor or lactation consultant whether it would be better to have a feeding schedule or to feed on demand.

6. You won’t get pregnant if you breastfeed.

Think you don’t need birth control if you’re breastfeeding? This time you’re right! But only partially. Doctors agree that breastfeeding can be an effective form of birth control only if your baby is 6 months or under, you’re breastfeeding exclusively, your baby is nursing at least every four to six hours, and you haven’t gotten your period yet.

This is called the lactation amenorrhea method, and although it’s pretty effective, it’s not foolproof. Studies show that 1 in 100 women who do all of the aforementioned still get pregnant. If any one of these components isn’t practiced perfectly, your chances of getting pregnant increase.

As a side note, experts also caution that if you allow your baby to use a pacifier, it can cause him or her to suck less often or less intensely, which can affect your hormone production and the efficacy of this birth control method.

7. Your baby will never take a bottle from you.

Never’s a really long time, and the reality is that there is no set rule when it comes to babies and moving back and forth between the breast and the bottle. Experts say that whether a baby prefers a bottle to a nipple, or vice versa, has to do with milk flow rather than the dreaded “nipple confusion.”

And some babies are pretty finicky. They may prefer a bottle from one person at a certain time but not at others. Just because a baby gets introduced to a bottle early on doesn’t mean that she’ll prefer bottle over breast.

If a baby is guided the right way, she may have no problems switching between breast and bottle. Experts do suggest, though, that you wait until your baby has mastered breastfeeding (usually at about 6 weeks) before you offer a bottle.

8. Only birth mothers can breastfeed.

Even if your child is not your biological one, you can still absolutely breastfeed her. If you’ve previously breastfed a child, most of the time you can just start by pumping.

If you haven’t ever breastfed, your doctor can give you hormones, along with a pumping schedule, that can coerce your body into nursing.

9. It’s going to hurt.

If it’s painful to breastfeed, that’s a sign that there’s something wrong.

For the first couple of weeks of breastfeeding, it may feel a little different as you get used to the sensation, but pain during breastfeeding shouldn’t be your normal. You should never be cringing before you breastfeed, and your nipples should never be cracked or bleeding.

If it hurts to nurse your baby, an improper latch is most likely to blame. Contact a lactation consultant to help you and your baby nurse correctly.

10. If your milk hasn’t arrived, there’s no need to breastfeed.

For the first few days after your baby’s birth and before your milk comes in, your body produces a nutrient-rich fluid called colostrum that contains immune system boosters and other things the baby needs.

This “practice milk” is so important for the baby because of its protective properties. The flow of colostrum is also a little slower than regular milk and can help to teach your baby how to nurse properly.

11. You’ll get less sleep if you breastfeed.

It’s true that some formula-fed babies go longer between feedings because formula takes longer to digest, but that doesn’t mean that moms who breastfeed are logging fewer hours of sleep. There’s a lot more that goes into the sleep patterns of babies, including their size, digestion rate, and temperament.

Breastfeeding moms have the additional benefit of not having to get formula and warm it up, and they also experience a boost of oxytocin every time they nurse, which may help them fall back to sleep faster.