Author: Mary Sauer

During the earliest days of my life as a mom, I could never have imagined myself publicly confessing my most embarrassing moments as a parent. 

Being a brand new mom was scary, and it was hard, and it brought out all of my insecurities in full force.

I spent a lot of time trying my darndest to look like I knew what I was doing. (Of course, I was clueless most of the time.)

It wasn’t long before I realized that every mom I knew was making mistakes, too. They were running on little sleep, just like me. They were feeling strung out and overwhelmed, just like me. These things, combined, meant a lot of forgetfulness and thoughtless decisions and a lot of parenting fails.

Eventually, instead of trying to hide my mistakes, I learned that sharing my mistakes and learning to laugh them off with other moms was therapeutic in its own right.

We would meet up for coffee and someone would dish on a story from earlier that day, one they simply couldn’t keep to themselves, and then another mom would share her most recent blunder.

Before long, we were laughing so hard there were tears rolling down our cheeks and we were feeling a little less alone in our life as a parent.

We’ve all made parenting mistakes, but some are most certainly funnier than others. Keep reading for the most hilarious parenting fails shared by real moms like you.

A Crappy Situation

What mom of little ones doesn’t have a good poop story? I still remember the day I attempted to get out the house for the first time as a new mom of two. I thought I had packed everything I needed, but realized as I was leaving the driveway that I hadn’t grabbed a spare outfit for the newborn. In a temporary lapse of judgment, I decided not to go back.

Of course, you can probably guess how the next hour played out. Within five minutes of our arrival at a local play area, my newborn and I were both covered in baby poop. To make matters worse, I ran out of wipes before I could fully clean up the mess. I could feel the pitying glances from the other moms as I packed up my naked newborn and my tantruming toddler (who didn’t even get to play!) and dragged my poop-covered crew back out to our minivan.

I find solace in knowing that I’m not the only one with a crappy story to share.

Kendra Moberly, mom of three, learned the hard way how much trouble a set of twins can get into in a short amount of time.

“When [my twins] moved to a big girl bed, I had changed one of their poopy diapers and accidentally left the diaper in their room. I had a friend over for some girl time and walked upstairs to check on something when I was overwhelmed with a poop smell. A BAD poop smell. I opened the door and poop was EVERYWHERE. On them, their rug, their comforter, the dresser.”

She never lived that one down, either, since her house guest shared her “poop catastrophe” story with some of their friends at the next get together.

Out of the Mouths of Babes…

Kids say the cutest things, but they also don’t always know when something is better left unsaid. Chelsie Buckner, mom of three little ones under the age of 6, told me about a time when her daughter’s tall tale landed on the wrong ears.

“My daughter once took off all of her clothes and started pushing the vacuum around,” she told me. “When my mother-in-law asked what she was doing she said ‘this is how mommy does it.’ What?! No!”

Jere Nave, mom of four, had no idea how closely her little ones were listening in on adult conversations until one fateful day in the Walmart parking lot when her 5-year-old repeated something she’d probably heard from her dad.

“On a hot day after shopping at Walmart, I put all four of my kids in the car. I put the baby in the car seat between the two girls in the back,” she told us. “As I was getting in, I started rolling down the windows to hear one of my little girls (probably 5 at the time) looking over her baby brother saying in her baby voice ‘Are you hot baby? Are you sweating your balls off?’”

Abandonment Issues

One of my kids is a pro at remembering my worst moments as a mom and brings them up on a regular basis, reminding me that she hasn’t forgotten that one time I forgot to buckle her sister into her car seat on a trip to the store or the last time I totally lost my cool.

Kids have a knack for reminding us of our parenting fails, don’t they?

For instance, when Lacy Stroessner and her husband decided to hop the fence after putting their three daughters to bed so they could spend a little time visiting with their neighbors, who were hosting an outdoor party, she never imagined she’d still be hearing about it months later.

“I even stayed for 30 minutes to make sure everyone fell asleep and stayed in their bed. We kept looking at the house, every 10 minutes or so. After about an hour, our bedroom light had been turned on and I knew they were awake,” Lacy said. “They were sobbing. They still talk about how we left them and they thought we were ‘GONE FOREVER!’”

A Very Messy Lesson

Have you ever thought about doing something and then put it off only to regret it later? That is exactly what happened to me last summer and I’ll never forget this lesson learned the hard way.

After I caught my daughter attempting to take scissors to her own hair, I snatched them from her and returned them to the craft box in her bedroom closet. More than once, I thought I had better find a new home for the scissors but never got around to moving them.

One night a few weeks later, I checked in on my girls (who share a room and were so quiet I believed they were sleeping) and found their floor was covered in human hair.

My middle child, who had hair to her rear by the time she was a year old, had happily obliged when my oldest convinced her they should play “hair shop” before bed that night. I was so in shock by the mess—and my daughter’s terrible haircut—that I called my best friend, a hair stylist, and cried to her over the phone.

She was able to squeeze us in the next day for an emergency cut, and my daughter sported a cute little bob for the rest of the summer.

An impulse purchase turned into a very messy lesson for Jayne, mom of three. On a whim, she decided to buy her kids a beanbag chair for their room. It wasn’t long before they figured out how to unzip the beanbag chair and spread the tiny foam beads all over the house. Isn’t it amazing how one simple mistake can create such a disaster?

Even experienced moms fail.

The next time you feel embarrassed about your most recent parenting fail, take comfort in knowing that even the most experienced moms face disasters daily. Becca Sutton, mom of nine, told me about one of her most recent parenting blunders.

“We went to eat at Burger King as special treat for the kids,” she told me. “While I was feeding the littlest one in the high chair, the toddler picked up my king-sized sweet tea and proceeded to drop it, spilling it all over the entire section we were sitting in.

“A
s I collected napkins to try to mop it up, he then vomited right there in the middle of God and everyone.

“I ran him to the bathroom, bathed him in the sink, and then had to put him in a diaper and one of the baby’s onesies because I didn’t carry a change of clothes for him! He looked so funny in that tiny onesie stretched across his torso like a catsuit!”

If a mom of nine can laugh off her mom fails, you can, too. Know that these are things that don’t really matter in the long run and that our kids may tease us about our most recent mistakes, but what matters the most is that they know they have parents who love and value them.

As a brand-new mom, my first night at home was nothing short of a nightmare. I left the hospital with a sleepy babe who was barely interested in nursing and found myself staring at a wide-awake and furiously ravenous newborn at 2 in the morning on her fourth day of life.

I knew she was hungry, but I couldn’t get her to latch on to my breast. We went round and round, me offering her the breast, her screaming, and me crying because I felt like I was doing something wrong. It took hours to get her to eat a full meal, and it felt like as soon as we were finished, it was time to start the whole process over again.
The next morning, I found myself making a desperate call to my lactation consultant. A few hours later we were in her office, troubleshooting our breastfeeding woes.

For my baby and me, there was more than one problem to address. Her latch needed to be corrected, and I needed to pump some to encourage more milk production. But one of the biggest reasons she was so pissed was because I had been missing her hunger cues.
It wasn’t enough to follow a schedule—to feed her every few hours or to wait for her to cry. I needed to follow her lead, but I didn’t know what I was looking for.

Every baby is different, but there are some general rules you can follow to make sure you are feeding them before they are so hungry that they’re angry. Follow these hunger cues outlined by lactation consultants and infant nutrition experts to determine if your infant is hungry or full.

Your Baby’s Very First Signs of Hunger

If your baby is crying, they’re actually in the late stages of feeling hungry and you’ve missed some more subtle clues that they were ready for their next meal. Babies can’t talk, but they definitely know how to communicate their needs. Hunger cues begin with some less noticeable behaviors and gradually become more obvious over time.

Restlessness is one of the earliest signs an infant wants to eat, according to breastfeeding advocacy organization La Leche League. Each baby may display restlessness differently from others, but some of the most common behaviors include rapid eye movements, wriggling around, or disruptions to their sleep.
Some babies may also exhibit tension, according to La Leche League, which can look like clenched fists or rigidity of their arms.

Most little ones will also smack their lips, suck on their fists, or open and close their mouths to let you know they want to eat. If you notice any of these cues, go ahead and settle into a comfy chair and give your baby a chance to satisfy their hunger.

Your Baby’s Secondary Signs of Hunger

If you missed your baby’s first signs of hunger, don’t worry, they won’t give up easily. If a newborn baby isn’t fed quickly after they first begin to experience hunger, their behavior will escalate, and their hunger cues will become more apparent.

Babies are born with an amazing reflex called rooting. From their first hour of life, a typically developing baby will turn their head toward their mother’s breast or a bottle if they feel a touch to their cheek.
Their mouth will also make a sucking motion. If your baby is rooting around, this is a pretty clear indication that they are ready to eat. If they are older than 4 months—when rooting stops being reflexive and becomes an intentional action—you can be certain that rooting means your child wants to eat.
In addition to rooting, a baby who is growing hungrier may try to get in a position to nurse, according to breastfeeding resource Kelly Mom. Older babies may also start to pull on your clothes or even swat at your chest.

No matter the age of your baby, fussiness can be a sign of hunger. Of course, fussiness isn’t always an indication that your baby needs to eat, but if isn’t time for sleep and a diaper change isn’t the answer, it is probably wise to give nursing a try.

Crying: Your Baby’s Last-Ditch Effort to Communicate Hunger

Many parents believe that crying is their baby’s way of communicating that they’re ready to eat, but that actually isn’t true. A baby who is crying to signal hunger is usually only doing so because their other cues have failed.

Waiting until a baby is upset to initiate nursing or offer a bottle can be problematic, and some mothers may have trouble getting their baby to settle down enough to eat.
Additionally, mothers who are responsive to their infant’s hunger and satiety cues are decreasing both Mom’s and Baby’s risk for obesity, according to the journal Appetite.

If you’ve missed your baby’s early hunger cues, don’t fret. Calm your baby before offering the breast or a bottle, and make a note to pay more careful attention in the future.

How do I know if my baby is full?

Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding, being in tune to your baby’s satiety is just as important to their health as being aware of hunger signs.

In fact, practicing responsiveness to cues babies offer that they’re ready to wrap up their meal can help decrease their chance of obesity later in life by encouraging self-regulation of hunger, according to the journal Physiology & Behavior.
The good news is that babies are pretty great at letting their mother know they’re no longer hungry. Some babies will turn their head away from the breast, clamp their mouth shut, or simply fall asleep, according to Enfamil.

In some cases, babies may not break their latch but their sucking will slow or stop, which is a good indication you can break the latch to end the feeding. Older babies who aren’t hungry could become distracted by what is going on around them, becoming more interested in playing than eating.
If your baby uses a bottle, you may have to watch more closely for feeding cues. It is easier to overfeed a formula-fed baby, according to research by the University of Akron.

Many parents may assume they should encourage their infant to finish their bottle, but it is actually more important to watch for your baby to signal they are through, even if that means wasting some formula.

Should I feed on demand or encourage a schedule?

Perhaps one of the most hotly debated topics among breastfeeding mothers is whether they should put their baby on a schedule or not. There are some proponents of scheduled feeding, such as Gary Ezzo, author of On Becoming Babywise. But most lactation experts advise against scheduled feedings, especially for young babies.

Young babies have small stomachs, and breast milk digests more quickly than formula. Additionally, the amount of milk a mother makes will adjust based on demand, so a mother who withholds feeding her baby in an attempt to get on a schedule may see a decrease in her milk supply.
Because of this, it is recommended that mothers not space feedings out by any more than three hours and that mothers respond to their babies cues and feed on demand as much as they are able.

If putting your baby on a schedule is important to you, lactation consultant Jessica Barton offers a few suggestions on her blog. First, she says it is helpful for parents to spend a couple of days paying attention the natural rhythm of their child.
Keep track of when your baby is eating and sleeping and then begin to build a schedule from there. Additionally, parents should be realistic about the length of time between feedings, since babies under the age of 6 months should nurse 10 to 12 times in a period of 24 hours.

Of course, like many parenting practices, on-demand feeding isn’t an exact science. Knowing yourself and understanding your baby’s unique needs—combined with advice from your own lactation consultant—is the best approach for developing a feeding routine that works for your family.

Babies cry. Tears are an infant’s way of letting their parent know they’re hungry, tired, or they need to be near their mom, and a baby’s ability to communicate those needs is important to their survival.

Fussy nights and tear-filled afternoons are a reality of motherhood that most have come to accept, but that doesn’t necessarily mean most moms wouldn’t jump at the chance to cut back on tears if they knew how it’s done.
Of course, all parents like the idea of happier babies, but that is much easier said than done. When my baby fusses, I find myself working through a list of possible reasons. Does he need to eat? Is he tired or uncomfortable? Does he need a diaper change? Is he bored?

Sometimes, even after I have worked my way through this mental checklist, he continues to fuss and I’m left clueless about how to soothe his frustrations.
There is one population who appears to have figured out the key to keeping their babies calm, according to a study published in The Journal of Pediatrics. Danish parents seem to have nailed down the trick to raising babies who cry less and grow into happier kids.

The study took a close look at parental reports of fussing or crying in newborns as observed in 28 different studies. Researchers compiled the data on 8,690 infants, specifically examining the mean fussiness in newborn babies based on their age.
The data found by researchers shone a light on Denmark, where children cry significantly less than children in the other countries included in the study.

Although it is difficult to pinpoint one specific reason that Danish parents have an advantage over new parents in the rest of the world, according to the study’s authors, they did raise a few possible areas that warrant closer examination.
For instance, there is a chance that there are economic factors that influence parents in Denmark, and parents are more responsive to their newborns’ needs. The researchers also speculated that genetics could play a part, with babies inheriting their parents’ genes that influence their temperament.

Others have chimed in with theories on what influences how little Danish babies cry. Jessica Joelle Alexander, author of The Danish Way of Parenting, told The Guardian that she believes paid maternity leave could be directly tied to this phenomenon.
Denmark has one of the best maternity leaves out there, giving mothers a month off before their baby is born and then an entire year at home with their child after their birth.

It makes sense that Danish babies are happier, because their parents are less stressed and more capable of responding to their needs during that first year.

Danish babies grow into happier kids.

Fewer tears aren’t the only bragging rights Danish babies have over their fellow children around the globe. Older kids in Denmark are also all around happier than children in the rest of the world. Each year countries around the world are carefully surveyed for a World Happiness Report. In this report, the Danish are consistently found to be the happiest people in the world.

Of course, there isn’t one single factor that gives Denmark the corner on happiness, but there are definitely people making some convincing arguments. For instance, inequality of overall well-being is higher in countries that report low happiness scores.
One of the most popular theories, perhaps, is that happiness is directly linked to the way the Danish parent. In fact, there is an entire book on the topic, comparing parenting methods in America with those used in Denmark.

From the way we discipline to the time our children spend outdoors, The Danish Way of Parenting makes a pretty convincing case that American parents could raise happier children if they were simply willing to take a closer look at what parents are doing in Denmark. In fact, there is even a Ted talk discussing this approach.

What American Parents Can Learn From Denmark

So what’s the secret to raising happier kids? According to the authors of The Danish Way of Parenting, there isn’t a simple answer. In one article for Brit + Co, the writers outline seven keys to parenting the Danish way. It’s evident that implementing these practices would require a complete reworking of the typical American parenting model.

American parents, for instance, tend to rely on harsher parenting practices, according to The Guardian. The majority of parents in the States are still using spanking in their discipline toolbox, despite research that indicates the ineffectiveness and harmfulness of this practice.
In contrast, Danish parents rely heavily on using empathy to connect with their children, providing clear boundaries but avoiding ultimatums or demanding obedience. Instead, parents in Denmark work to develop a mutual respect with their children, explaining the reasoning behind rules and calmly responding to challenging behaviors.

Parenting happy children extends beyond what we do when our kids are upset or challenging our patience. How we approach their downtime directly plays into the state of their well-being, according to the authors of The Danish Way of Parenting.
Danish parents place a high priority on being together—so much so that their word for togetherness, hygge, has become a trend all over the Western world. For the Danes, family time isn’t a trend, however, it is a daily way of life. Whether it’s family meals, a hike, or a project, kids who spend regular time with their parents are more secure and all around happier.

Statistics regarding the state of the family dinner in America indicate that 25 percent of families eat together fewer than three nights a week. If this is any indication of how the rest of the day is spent—and we’re pretty sure it is, we can say with confidence that American families are not spending enough time together.
The flipside of the practice of togetherness in Danish families is that children are also given an incredible amount of independence. Whereas American parents may feel pressure to keep their kids scheduled or offer entertainment, Danish families think free play is the key to a happy childhood.

When it comes to the logistics of American parenting, there is a marked difference. For instance, children in America have quite busy schedules, and 1 and 5 parents with an average income of $75,000 says their kids’ lives are hectic.
After-school activities dominate the schedules of American children, according to the Pew Research Center, with 73 percent of parents reporting their child is in sports and 54 percent in the arts after school or on weekends.

Even children with free time may not be given a lot of opportunities for unsupervised play, since most American parents believe kids should be at least 10 years old before they can play outside without a parent present.
It is easy to be overwhelmed by the huge difference between Danish and American parenting, especially when we have so little control over factors like paid maternity leave.

Don’t let that discourage you if you would like to make same changes. Start small, by setting goals for cutting back on screen time and getting your kids outside more often, sitting down for a family meal three or more times a week, or reading up on responding to tantrums with empathy instead of anger.
Even a small change toward more positive parenting can make a big difference in the well-being of your child.

During my first pregnancy, I was surprised to find I felt a strong pull to talk with my baby. Every day was a new experience for me, and so many parts of my pregnancy felt unreal.

When I would lie in bed at night chatting about the day or simply saying, “Hello in there,” I found I felt more connected to my child. It was hard to imagine that inside my growing belly a human being already existed, but the more I talked to the baby in my womb the more comfortable I felt with the idea of becoming a mother.
As it turns out, having a chat with her unborn child doesn’t just make the mother feel connected, it actually has an impact on her developing baby.

Science has found that babies begin learning in the womb and that they are forming memories about the things they are exposed to the most before they are born.

The Science of Prenatal Memories

Since scientists can’t ask babies what they remember from their time spent in their mothers’ wombs, they have had to get creative when it comes to figuring out what newborns remember.

Researchers have relied heavily on studying animals to indicate how early memories are formed, why they are forgotten, and what kind of implications these memories have for a child.
What most moms know simply from observation is that most children and adults can’t report detailed memories from before their birth. Many have hypothesized on why this is the case (such as Freud’s theory of repression), but it wasn’t until recently that we better understood the facts.
Observing the brains of infant rats clued researchers in to what happens to early memories, and they published their findings in the journal Science. The truth is, the infant brain is developing at a rapid pace.

This growth requires the formation of new brain cells, and these new brain cells actually crowd out the connections made by early memories. When researchers slowed down the brain development of infant mice, they actually found that early memories were more cemented in their brain.
The application of this finding to human beings is that the developing brain is making memories in the womb, but as your child grows older their amazing neurological development is erasing those memories.

It’s fascinating knowing that babies start learning in the womb and can still remember many of the things they learn after birth.
Want to know more? Here are the facts on what your baby remembers from the womb.

Your baby remembers the words you say.

It turns out that talking to my baby while she was growing inside of me wasn’t as silly as it sometimes felt. The truth is, she was forming memories of the words I said repeatedly—and your baby is too.

A team of scientists at the University of Helsinki discovered the extent of a newborn’s language memory by giving mothers a recording of a completely made-up word. These mothers were asked to play this recording repeatedly over their last months of pregnancy. By the time the babies were born, they had heard the sound more than 25,000 times.
After the babies were born, the researchers used EEG technology to test for recognition of the word. What they found was that when compared with babies who hadn’t heard the word during pregnancy, the brains of babies who had been exposed to the word in the womb remembered it after birth.

The practical implications of this information aren’t clear. Typically mothers are discouraged from playing loud recordings near their womb because they may cause overstimulation. Researchers hope further studies can reveal the potential uses for the discovery of language learning in utero.

Your baby remembers your voice.

It isn’t just the words your babies hear that matter, the people they hear most frequently have an impact their prenatal memories, too.

Research has compared how infants respond to the voices of strangers to those they hear most often during the third trimester, and it was undeniable that they prefer familiar voices. It shouldn’t be surprising that among all of the familiar voices they heard after birth, babies showed preference for the voice of their mothers.

Babies remember their birth mother’s native language.

Amazingly, babies are forming memories of their mother’s native language long before they start talking. One study took a close look at the language memory of internationally adopted children, specifically those adopted immediately following birth.

What they found was that although these babies hadn’t been exposed to their mother’s native tongue since their birth, they recognized it and showed preference for it. These findings indicate that babies begin to learn their native language in the womb, according to The New York Times.

Your baby remembers the music you play.

We’ve all seen those prenatal speakers—the ones that can be attached to a mother’s growing bump, but is there any merit to this gadget? Or are manufacturers simply looking to make a buck off of expectant parents?

The answer is yes and no. Babies do remember the music they hear in the womb, according to research by the University of Helsinki, but there isn’t any known development associated with playing it loudly near your growing belly during pregnancy.
Researchers instructed 12 expectant mothers to play “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” five days a week during the last several weeks of their pregnancy, and they also followed a control group of 12 mothers who did not.

These babies were exposed to the song again immediately following their birth and at the age of 4 months. Researchers found that they exhibited a brain response to the song that the control group did not.

Your baby remembers the food you eat.

The old joke about eating for two may actually have some merit. If you’re hitting up your favorite taco place twice a week (thanks to those killer pregnancy cravings), your baby is getting a taste, too.

There is convincing research that suggests when your baby gulps in the amniotic fluid that surrounds them in the womb, the flavor changes based on what mom has been eating lately, according to NPR. Additionally, after babies start eating solid foods, research suggests they show preference for foods they were repeatedly exposed to in the womb.

Why Prenatal Memories Matter

The science behind the formation of prenatal memories is fascinating. If babies lose track of most of their memories from their time in the womb, why does any of this matter?

Researchers believe that infant memories include more than the words they hear or the music they’re exposed to and that the effects of these memories aren’t all positive.
The truth is, some researchers are certain that prenatal exposure to stressful noises may have an adverse effect on neurological development. Because of this, they believe there may be value in encouraging mothers to avoid situations that involving yelling, loud music, or obtrusive workplace noises.

When it comes to the food you eat while you’re pregnant, this research matters because scientists believe that what you eat may influence your child’s own food preferences after birth.
Of course, don’t feel anxious if your pregnancy aversion kept you from eating those dark, leafy greens every day. You can always change your child’s palate by repeatedly exposing them to new flavors once they start eating solid foods.

So what does this research mean for the expectant mom? It means you don’t have to change much about what you are doing already: Avoid stressful or overstimulating noises if possible and keep chatting with your unborn baby.

The other day, I completely overreacted to some typical preschool behaviors. It had been a busy few days thanks to holiday celebrations, and my preschooler’s exhaustion was getting the better of her. My youngest needed to breastfeed, but I couldn’t find a quiet moment with my daughter following me around the house, bubbling over with emotions about this and that.
With a crying infant in hand and sobbing toddler on the floor next to me, I snapped.
“If you don’t cheer up, I’m putting you to bed.”

It wasn’t among my proudest of moments and, of course, threatening a 3-year-old is a highly ineffective strategy for managing their emotions. Even worse, I knew she wasn’t misbehaving. I knew she was tired but my lack of patience ruined a chance to show her love and affection when she was having a really hard time.
This whole exchange has been on my mind a lot. How often do I react harshly to my children when I’m feeling challenged by their behavior? It’s often not that they’re being willfully disobedient; they simply need a little extra help dealing with a difficult moment. How often do I see my children acting a certain way and assume they’re being “bad” when, really, they’re just being kids?

These questions sent me on the hunt for more developmentally normal behaviors that often appear to be bad behaviors. Here’s what I found.

The Fidgets

Whether you are reading a book or simply trying to get through a family meal, when your child is fidgeting and having trouble sitting still, it can be incredibly disruptive to everyone involved. As it turns out this behavior is pretty typical for toddlers and school-aged kids.
A normal amount of fidgeting can be seen in most kids if they are being asked to sit still during a boring activity or if they’re upset or anxious about something happening in their life, according to research from the University of California.

When does fidgeting become a reason for concern? If your child regularly has difficulty sitting still while doing something they enjoy (as opposed to something they think is a snoozefest), it may be a good idea to talk with your child’s pediatrician about how to address this behavior.

Extreme Emotions

When you are a parent of very young kids, tantrums and tears become an element of everyday life. It can be incredibly difficult to remain patient with your children on especially emotional days when meltdowns seem to happen once an hour, but don’t be quick to assume your child is spoiled.
Extreme expressions of emotions, whether it’s tantrums or tearfulness, are par for the course for young children. In fact, you may even notice that your child has become more volatile right about the time they reach preschool. This is because, as your child grows, their emotions become more complex and more pronounced, according to Psych Central.

While a newly walking toddler may react with extreme anger, they quickly swing back to happy when presented with a distraction. Preschoolers, on the other hand, have a better understanding of how their world works and who they are and may struggle with anxiety over relatively small changes or feel intense jealousy of a sibling.
To the dismay of most parents, preschoolers experience these extreme emotions but they have yet to mature to the point of expressing them in a socially acceptable way.

There is good news, however: Letting your child experience their feelings and even helping them name them is a simple and effective approach for preschool-aged children.

Impulsive Behavior

Young children can act in the most surprising (and confusing) ways. If you are observing impulsivity and a lack of self-control in your young child, know that this is expected behavior for toddlers and young school-aged children.

Kid’s impulsivity can be blamed on their developing brains, according to non-profit parenting resource Zero to Three. After age 3, the areas of the brain responsible for exhibiting self-control begin to develop. As they get older, their brain will mature, and you will begin to notice they are better equipped to think through their decisions and control their impulses.

Hunger- or Exhaustion-Induced Behaviors

If you have ever kept a toddler out past their bedtime, you’ve probably noticed how they turn into a completely different child when their basic needs aren’t met. Kids know when they are hungry, bored, or tired and when they don’t have those needs met, it is difficult for everyone involved. According to Pennsylvania State University’s research-based online resource, PennState Extension, this is a developmentally appropriate reaction, not bad behavior.

You may experience tantrums, extreme hyperactivity, or tearfulness in a child who simply needs a nap or a snack but isn’t mature enough to express those needs well. There is good news for parents in this phase of their child’s life: You can do something about it! The simplest solution for avoiding meltdowns over unmet needs is making sure those needs get met.
Whenever possible, bring a snack along to avoid hunger, a toy to avoid boredom, and try not to keep your child out through naptime or past bedtime.

Rigidity

Changing up a child’s normal routine can bring out a wide range of behaviors and emotions. One of my children gets incredibly anxious when she isn’t sure what is happening next, while another gets distressed when we break up our normal breakfast rotation.

For a parent who needs some flexibility or simply enjoys changing things up from time-to-time, rigidity in toddlers can be an exasperating experience. Of course, like most difficult behaviors in children, this attachment to routines is simply a part of child development.
Toddlers begin to notice that their lives follow certain patterns and routines. With time, they begin to expect those routines and when things don’t happen as expected it can cause them distress, according to an article by Jenna Ewing and Dr. Gregory S. Chasson of Towson University.

Most children will start to show a little more flexibility around 3 or 4 years of age. Rigid or repetitive behavior is only cause for concern if it continues in school-aged children and is paired with extreme anxiety.

Demanding Independence

Every parent has been there. You have someplace you need to be, but your 3-year-old is determined to put his shoes on himself. The minutes pass by and your child stubbornly insists they can do it by himself and erupts into a tantrum anytime you try to assist. When you’re in a hurry, a toddler’s demands for independence can be infuriating, but this, too, is a developmentally appropriate behavior.

In fact, a child’s insistence on being granted a level of independence from a young age is a healthy part of getting older. By first grade, your child should be able to perform most of their self-care. In order to help our children reach that milestone, we have to be willing to give them the independence they so desperately desire.
For many families, this may mean building a few extra minutes into the morning or bedtime routines or allowing their children to practice these life skills in low-pressure situations.

Pushing Boundaries

As children mature, it is perfectly normal for them to test the rules and boundaries you have set for them. For many children, boundary testing is a way they check to see if you will give them the consistency they so desperately need.

In fact, the boundaries we set for our kids are directly related to how well they learn to practice self-control in the future, according to parenting resource AHA! Parenting. So, when your children push back against your rules, know they this is a part of the learning process and a consistent response to this developmental behavior is the best approach, no matter their age.

I’ve always felt fortunate to have so much help with my kids from my family members. Until recently, I had only hired a babysitter for one occasion in my five years as a mom. My kids’ grandparents have been on-call babysitters for my part-time work, the occasional date night, and doctor appointments.

But when my work-from-home job as a freelancer became a full-time responsibility, I was faced with the task of finding a sitter who I knew I could trust to take really good care of my kids several hours a week.
It made me anxious, to be perfectly honest. The idea of asking someone I had only just met to spend hours alone with my children felt risky, but it had to be done.

I couldn’t keep trying to balance my work-at-home job and caring for my kids full-time. It took several weeks, but I eventually found a wonderful young woman who is the perfect fit for our family.
My big kids talk about her between her visits and my littlest giggles when she walks in the door. I know that, because my kids love her, we’ve found a great sitter we can trust.

Finding her wasn’t easy, though, and I learned a lot through the process. I originally thought I would have a large number of people to choose from, but it turned out that very few people were looking for babysitting work.
When I did find a few applications I was interested in, I had so many questions to ask and research to do so I could make sure they were as qualified as they said they were.

Needless to say, finding a caregiver you can rely on is a lot of work. If you’re looking for a dependable person to care for your kids, keep reading to find the tips you need to find a babysitter you can trust.

Create a job description.

Caring for children is important work and it’s okay (and even expected!) that you should take the process of hiring as seriously as you would if you were hiring for a position in your own workplace. One of the best ways to avoid the letdown of unmet expectations is making sure you understand exactly what you need from a babysitter.

Before you so much as call your first candidate, take some time to put pen to paper and outline what your family needs from a babysitter. Will they simply be hanging out at home, feeding your kids and putting them to bed? Or will they need to perform extra tasks like driving kids to school, sports practices or rehearsals? Will they be responsible for light housework or taking care of pets? These are all important details to clarify from the start and creating a formal job description is the simplest way to do just that.

Do an intensive job interview.

Hiring a babysitter is often treated with a fair amount of informality. For many parents, a quick visit over the phone is all that takes place in lieu of an interview. But if you truly want to be certain you are hiring the right candidate for the job, you’ll need to devote a little more time to the hiring process.

Plan to meet a few potential babysitters in person before they meet your children.
Begin your interview with the most obvious questions: What kind of experience do they have? Are they CPR certified? What days and time are they available to work? Once you have covered the basics, move on to questions specific to your kids’ needs.

You may even use your interview as a time to pose a few hypothetical situations, asking them how they would respond. How will they intervene when sibling conflicts arise?
Will they feel comfortable staying late if you regularly have to stay over at work?

You want a babysitter who is prepared to handle the real life situations that arise in the life of your family, so don’t be afraid to be honest about what they may experience as your family babysitter.

Do your due diligence.

In any job, a person’s past performance is one of the best indicators of how they will perform in the future. Any babysitter you are considering hiring for the job should be required to submit references for past work. After an interview, follow up by calling the references provided to find out how satisfied they were with the applicant’s performance.

There is a lot of helpful information you may be able to find out from the names your possible babysitter provides. Consider asking questions about their timeliness and dependability to show up at an agreed upon times.
If possible, find out why they are no longer employed by the family. If any red flags arise, don’t ignore them!

If you’re not certain the feedback provided by their references is a deal-breaker, you can always follow up with your applicant to ask questions about what the reference had to say about their performance.

Let your kids weigh in before you make a hire.

It’s a good idea to have any babysitter you are seriously considering hiring over for a visit with the family before you leave them alone with your little ones. Invite them over for coffee or a meal and let them interact with your children while you’re nearby.

Do your best not to intervene unless necessary; your job here is to be a silent observer of their interactions with your kids. Do they seem comfortable around your children? How do your children respond to their presence?
After they leave, give your kids the opportunity to weigh in before you make a hire. Most kids are fairly accepting, so if they do raise a concern, it’s worth looking into before you make a decision.

This initial visit is also a great time to show them around your house and talk about your kids’ routines. This will help anyone you decide to hire feel more comfortable on their first day working with your family.

Pay them what they are worth.

Finding someone who you can trust to care for your children as their own isn’t easy. In most cases, it takes a lot of searching and extensive interviews to find the perfect fit.

Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that what you are willing to pay is directly related to the care your children will receive.
If you aren’t willing to pay the person you hire a fair wage, how can you expect them to treat watching your children like a “real job”? Take them as seriously as you would like them to take their responsibilities.

The going rate for a babysitter varies greatly based on where you are located and how many children you have, but you can expect to pay at least $11 an hour for exceptional care for your kids. If you’re still having trouble deciding on pay, you can use a calculator that adjusts for your family size and location.

Set them up for success.

Once you found someone you feel is a great fit for your family, it’s a good idea to take some time to set them up for a successful on-boarding. Ask them to arrive early so you can spend time talking through the most important information they need to know.

Create an outline of your kids’ routines and plan to go over dietary restrictions and family rules. If you have specific expectations for your sitter, spell them out in great detail to avoid awkward conversations or conflict in the visitor.
This is the right time to make sure they know your policy on posting your kids’ pictures to social media, leaving the house with your kids, or how you feel about them using their phone while your kids are awake. It may feel nitpicky to you, but a good sitter will be glad to have the information.

A good babysitter is like family. By taking the hiring process seriously, doing your research, and helping them make a seamless transition into the role of your family’s go-to caregiver, you just may find someone who you can rely on for years to come.