Author: Mary Sauer

Sweat

6 Untrue "Facts" About The Human Body

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date October 2, 2017

For years now, I’ve kept a little log in my planner tracking my water intake each day. I aim to drink eight glasses because I’ve always believed it to be the guideline for healthy water intake.
If I’m being honest, however, I’ve never struggled with being dehydrated. It’s just something I’ve felt like I should do as a part of trying to be a healthy person. Lately, this little checklist has started to feel like more of a burden in my busy life than a key to healthy living.
At the end of the day, after taking care of three young kids and working from home as a freelance writer has swallowed up most of my time, my water log is more often than not just one more task I’m not checking off my to-do list.
So recently I actually stopped trying to track how much water I drink each day. I drink when I’m thirsty and leave it at that. But what does science have to say about my dismissal of my old health-seeking habit?

When it comes the things we believe about the body, it’s easy to oversimplify or believe things about the ways they function that are simply untrue—and how much water we need each day is just one myth we’ve all fallen for.
Even though most of the myths are pretty harmless, some ideas we have about our bodies can actually keep us from making the right decisions about how to care for ourselves.
So, do you have an adequate understanding about how the body works? Let’s clear up those lingering untrue “facts” once and for all.

1. The Truth About Water Intake

When it comes to how much water we aim to drink each day, eight glasses has long been touted as the gold standard. But how accurate is the belief that everyone should drink 64 ounces of H2O each and every day?

That much water is far too much for those people and can overwhelm their systems.

The fact of the matter is, a one-size-fits-all rule is often too simple. Each person has different needs, and this definitely applies when it comes to water intake.

“Drinking eight glasses of water a day is not only not necessary for most people most of the time; it’s actually a very bad idea for the elderly or anyone who has a heart condition or kidney impairment. That much water is far too much for those people and can overwhelm their systems,” explains Dr. David Belk, internal medicine doctor and healthcare blogger.
So just how much water should you aim to drink each day? You might not like the answer, but water intake should vary person to person, day to day. The activities that fill your day, like working out or working outside, along with the environment you live in influence your body’s need for fluids according to Valentina Olivadese, holistic nutritionist and owner of Valiant Nutrition.
There is good news, though! You don’t have play a guessing game, because your body will tell you when it’s time to pour a glass. The body is great at communicating its needs, especially if you are a generally healthy person.
Instead of aiming to drink a certain number of ounces of water each day, just pour yourself a glass whenever you body tells you it’s thirsty, instructs Dr. Fayne Frey, board-certified dermatologist.

2. The Truth About When You Should Stop Eating

Many dieters and health enthusiasts hold strong to the belief that food eaten after a certain time each night will contribute to weight gain. Even well-respected publications like Runner’s World advise their readers to stop eating right after dinner if they want to lose weight.

Late-night eating is usually mindless and happens at the end of the day when a person ate too little.

As it turns out, though, there is hardly an ounce of truth to this claim, according to Dr. Lisa Doggett, a board-certified family physician who says that the act of eating late at night is not what causes weight gain. Instead, it is eating more calories that can land you in trouble.
So, yeah, that late-night PB&J might be causing you to gain weight, but it’s the calorie count, not the timing, that deserves the blame.

Additionally, Olivadese suggests that late night eating and weight gain may have a more complicated relationship than we assume.
“This myth is so widespread because late-night eating is usually mindless and happens at the end of the day when a person ate too little. Feeling famished makes us more likely to eat whatever we can find and to eat to the point of feeling stuffed. This cycle of starvation and bingeing can affect weight over time by causing stress and … preoccupation,” she says.
When in doubt, trust your hunger and feed your body healthy options in small portions, no matter what time of day hunger strikes.

3. The Truth About How Much of Your Brain You Use

Maybe like me, the first time you heard the statement that humans only use 10 percent of our brain power, it was coming from a self-improvement guru. Their solution was simple: Learn to use more of your brain, become a better person.

Most of our brain is continuously active, though we are unaware of much of what our brain does all day.

It’s not bad advice at first glance, but dig a little deeper and you’ll learn that it’s based on a widely accepted falsehood about the human brain. The idea that we only use a very small percentage of our brain couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Most of our brain is continuously active, though we are unaware of much of what our brain does all day. Even when we’re sitting and doing nothing, our brains are busy regulating our heart rate, body temperatures, blood pressures, posture, etc.,” shares Belk.
And even when we aren’t paying close attention to what’s going on in our brain, it is working hard to process what is going on around us using the information it takes in through the senses. Each part of our brain is so important that even a small stroke that affects only one spot in the brain may be debilitating, according to Belk.
“That we only use 10 percent of our brain is an urban myth that was never based on any scientific evidence whatsoever,” he concludes.

4. The Truth About Your Baseline Body Temperature

Feeling a little clammy? Don’t automatically assume something is up just because the thermometer isn’t reading 98.6 degrees.

It’s not even all that common for a healthy person to have a temperature of 98.6 degrees.

Even though most people hold pretty strongly to the belief that 98.6 degrees is the baselines temperature for humans across the board, it’s less of a rule and more of a guideline, according to Belk.
“In fact, it’s not even all that common for a healthy person to have a temperature of 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. A person’s body temperature will vary by one to two degrees throughout the day with an average of around 98 degrees and only occasionally crossing 98.6 degrees,” he explains.

Instead, we should look for a range of temperatures within certain limitations. Most healthy people will find that their temperature changes by small amounts but falls somewhere between 97 and 99 degrees.

5. The Truth About What Shaving Does to Your Hair

As a preteen, I was told more than once to put off shaving my legs as long as possible because once I started, my hair would grow in dark and thick. I mostly ignored that advice, but I’ve always wondered if there is any truth to the idea that shaving makes your hair grow thicker.
Frey was quick to set the record straight. Hair does not grow faster or thicker if it has been shaved. In fact, because the nature of hair fibers, which are made of a protein called keratin, it’s impossible for shaving to have any effect on their structure.

The dead hair shaft cannot send information about being cut to the hair follicle.

“The visible portion of the hair that is cut has no biological activity. Since the dead hair shaft cannot send information about being cut to the hair follicle, the site of hair growth, growth continues as usual,” says Frey.
The fact that this belief is a myth isn’t new information, either. According to Frey, in 1928 a forensic anthropologist by the name of Mildred Trotter published conclusive findings that shaving does nothing to the color or texture of hair and it certainly doesn’t speed up growth.

And, while we’re at it, the same goes for trimming your nails.
“Similarly, clipping a fingernail, also made of keratin, does not cause the fingernail to grow any slower or faster because it was trimmed,” adds Frey.

6. The Truth About Detoxing

After every holiday, we’re barraged with advertising for detox diets. The idea behind each diet is that the body needs help clearing all the junk we eat out of our systems. But just how much truth is there to the claims that there are pounds of waste trapped in the human body? And does detoxing really help?

Our livers are incredible machines, they help detoxify the world around you.

“Our bodies are not dirty vessels and the concept of detoxing is off base…our livers are incredible machines, they help detoxify the world around you,” explains Elizabeth Trattner, an integrative medicine practitioner.

So many women come to see me saying, ‘I ate so much and now I have to detox.’

Although we are exposed to more chemicals than previous generations, regular detoxes are needless according to Trattner, who suggests skipping juicing and just eating the whole fruit instead.

Trattner does help some of her patients detox, but these are people who have been exposed to dangerous chemicals or have genetic conditions that prevent their livers from clearing heavy metals.
“So many women come to see me saying, ‘I ate so much and now I have to detox.’ Seriously, just eat [healthy foods] and you’re good to go.” she advises.

Tags 50035641, body, hemingway

Sweat

Snail Slime And Other Ancient Beauty Rituals You Should And Shouldn't Try

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date October 2, 2017

Last week, I started wearing snail slime to bed.
Okay, so it is actually snail extract, but I don’t see much of a difference between the two. After I wash my face each night, I slather on a cream made from 92 percent snail extract before applying a moisturizer to lock it in and climbing in bed with my favorite book.

Although a certain socialite made headlines for wearing snail slime in her hair to the VMAs, my interest in snails as part of my beauty routine started last spring. It all began when I adopted a rigorous skincare regimen inspired by a 10-step Korean routine.
Next thing I knew, I had moved from researching my favorite oil cleanser to reading up on the benefits of a popular cream claiming to harness the power of snails to repair skin damage and reduce the appearance of fine lines.
As it turns out, this trendy cream is derived from a practice said to have been used in ancient Greece, according to the journal JAMA Dermatology, with its primary use being treatment of inflamed skin. The discovery of the benefits of snail excretions is credited to Hippocrates, and there are rural communities in Italy that have used it to treat warts and calluses, too.

Admittedly, it makes sense that some people are skeptical, and I get why they might be grossed out, but I have read some interesting studies, like one published in the British Journal of Biomedical Science, that found antimicrobial properties in snail slime. And to be honest, I’m not above trying something a little “out there” to clear up my skin.
Of course, this isn’t the first modern beauty trend to claim ancient roots, and some revived practices have more basis in science and results than others. Keep reading for ancient beauty rituals that you should—and shouldn’t—add to your daily routine.

A Priceless Tradition With Roots in Chinese Medicine

Documentation of the use of pearl powder for cosmetic purposes dates back 2,000 years to ancient China, when women applied it topically to their skin. This practice was rooted in the belief that pearls have unique properties that help moisturize the skin and “reduce toxicity,” according to a study published by the Journal of Cosmetic Science.

These days, many have taken this practice a step further. Some people ingest water-soluble pearl powder daily in hopes of slowing down the aging process.
And although that might seem unlikely, there is actually some pretty good evidence backing up this practice. In fact, the same Journal of Cosmetic Science study asserts that three different pearl powders demonstrated the ability to moisturize the skin and reduce activation of tyrosinase and free radicals, which are both linked to skin cancer.

“Topically, crushed pearls are used in many beauty products from thousands of years ago and even today. Pearls are high in minerals and amino acids which help the skin and works as an anti-inflammatory agent,” explains Elizabeth Trattner, an integrative medicine practitioner who employs many ancient techniques in her practice, including acupuncture.

An Ancient Chinese Practice Known for Rejuvenation

Although it isn’t necessarily mainstream, the practice of placing needles in the skin is widely accepted among naturopaths and chiropractors as one way to promote overall wellness and even address specific ailments such as migraines and depression. According to Trattner, it has been a popular way to promote beauty for thousands of years, too.

“Acupuncture is one of the oldest beauty rituals in the world. For 5,000 years, empresses and Chinese women have been using facial acupuncture for beautification and rejuvenation,” she shares.
When it comes to using acupuncture to promote beauty, practitioners believe it revives the face, according to an article published in the Aesthetic Surgery Journal. The main benefits outlined in the article include reduction of the appearance of wrinkles, tightening of the skin, and reduction of acne.

“Acupuncture can smooth out wrinkles and bring circulation to the face and neck. It can also treat the underlying conditions that can age a woman, give her acne, dullness to her skin, slack skin, and dry skin,” Trattner explains.

A Bath Suited for a Queen

Many modern beauty products include milk of some kind as a main ingredient, from unexpected DIY breast milk soaps to more conventional goat milk lotion. Next time you reach for a bar of your favorite milk-based soap, remind yourself you’re engaging in a beauty practice fit for a queen.

“In ancient times, the Queen of Sheba was looked at as the epitome of beauty. As tradition has it, it has been recorded that she maintained her beauty by bathing in donkey’s milk. This was a regular occurrence for her, so much so that it took the milk of over 5,000 donkeys,” shares health and beauty blogger Daniel Powers.
According to Powers, milk is a well-loved beauty product because it is moisturizing. Specifically, milk can replenish the water, fats, and proteins that promote healthy skin.

Additionally, milk has exfoliating properties because of the acid it contains. Lactic acid specifically is able to gently remove old skin cells and debris, which leaves the skin looking brighter and healthier.

A Sweet Paste for Younger-Looking Skin

Recently, dates have regained popularity as a natural sweetener that’s high in antioxidants. If you think eating them is the only way to reap the benefits they offer, think again! Add this fruit to the long list of food products naturally minded women are applying right to their skin.

“Another ancient ritual is using date paste on the skin. Dates were used in the Middle East for beauty rituals. Dates are rich in minerals which support healthy skin, including the synthesis of collagen and elastin,” shares Trattner.
This ancient ritual isn’t without scientific basis, either. A 2017 study published in the journal Cosmetics found convincing evidence that applying date extract to the skin moisturizes it, improves pigmentation, increases elasticity, and reduces redness.

A Fermented Drink From Ancient Greece

When it comes to promoting beautiful skin, it really is what’s on the inside that counts. From staying hydrated to eating healthy foods, the naturally minded health community has long maintained that your skin benefits when you make good choices day in and day out.
For instance, switchel—a fermented drink made from apple cider vinegar, ginger, maple syrup, and water—has suddenly become very popular for promoting gut health, according to Jillian Berswick of Rosehive Superfoods.
The drink might be trendy, but it definitely isn’t a new recipe.

“Some say switchel was influenced by oxymel, an ancient Greek medicinal elixir made from vinegar, honey, and water. Wherever its origins, by the 18th century, switchel was the choice of American farmers during long work days to keep cool and stay hydrated,” says Berswick.
So what does a healthy gut have to do with beauty? If your gut isn’t healthy, it can cause a whole host of health issues, acne being just one of them.
Pass the apple cider vinegar!

A Sticky Solution for Inflamed Skin

The next time your skin is broken out or irritated, consider heading to your kitchen for a solution. In ancient Egypt, honey was believed to have medicinal properties and was even offered as a sacrifice to certain deities.

For 8,000 years, honey has had a place in traditional medicine for good reason. Research has found that honey is high in antioxidants and fights bacteria, according an article in the Iranian Journal of Basic Medical Science.
It makes sense that this powerful, natural commodity is also popular as a beauty product. Because it is a natural exfoliant and has antibacterial properties, many beauty bloggers recommend honey as a face wash or spot treatment for acne.

Ancient Beauty Rituals Worth Skipping

Of course, not all ancient beauty rituals have scientific basis. Personally, when it comes to adopting ancient methods for looking young, I can get behind snails but can’t get on board with anything potentially harmful or outrageously weird.
For instance, in the Victorian era, women were instructed by a popular beauty guide to ingest a tapeworm egg as an easy method of losing weight, according to Atlas Obscura.

For 10 centuries in China, the pursuit of dainty feet meant many young girls had their feet broken and wrapped to limit their growth.
Some 18th-century women had a much higher likelihood of getting lead poisoning thanks to their practice of using white lead to lighten their faces to a ghostly white, according to the University College London’s Department of Museums and Collections.
These examples just go to show that jumping on board with a cultural expectation of beauty at all costs is rarely a good idea.

So do your research, learn to your love yourself as your are, and for goodness’ sake, think twice before slathering on or ingesting any substance in the name of beauty.

Tags 50035681, body, hemingway

Motherhood

The Truth About Twins

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 28, 2017

If you’re not a twin, it’s easy to make assumptions about what twins’ lives might be like.

We’ve all heard stories about “twintuition” and the old “twin switcheroo,” and, sure, some of those stories are backed up by reality—a mother of twins, Blair Brodie Resare was quick to share just how devious her 2-year-olds can be.
“My twins are crazy crafty. They are only two-and-a-half and have recently been tricking people to believe one is the other,” she says. “I firmly believe identical twins would be able to pull off anything they set their mind to as far as deception goes. Even this little, their minds work together to formulate crazy ideas and plans, with limited communication.”

Of course, as fun as these anecdotes might be, focusing on them too much can put twins in a box, and at worst, proliferate misconceptions. For instance, many people still believe in twin telepathy, even though, according to Live Science, research has yet to back up the assumption that twins know what the other is thinking.
Life as a twin is incredibly special, but it’s also complicated—there’s much more to being a twin than playing elaborate tricks on the people around you or dressing in matching outfits.

First, twins aren’t as rare as you might think.

In fact, twins are becoming more common over time.
In 1975, twins accounted for 9.5 of every 1,000 births in America, and by 2011, that number increased to 16.9 out of every 1,000 births, according research published in the Population and Development Review. Just three years later, in 2014, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention observed a record number of American twins being born, with 33.9 births out of every 1,000 being twins.

Why are twin births increasing over time? Researchers believe there are a two big factors at play, the research in Population and Development Review says.
Firstly, more births are the result of medically assisted reproduction, like in vitro fertilization; medically assisted reproduction increases the likelihood of a multiple pregnancy.

Secondly, more women are waiting longer to give birth, and twins are more likely if the mother is considered to be of advanced maternal age.

Growing up as a twin is complicated.

Twins have an inevitably special connection—they’ve spent a lot of time together, after all. Unfortunately for many twins, misguided early education practices in schools in the United States have made growing up as a twin perhaps more complicated than it needs to be.

For some twins, the transition to school can be difficult, especially if their school has adopted the practice of splitting them up. Many schools observe this practice, according to twin research published in the journal Educational Policy, but this practice might do more harm than good.
According to this research, school administrations have a tendency to hold false stereotypes about twins and are more likely to believe twins should be in different classes in kindergarten to avoid an unhealthy attachment to one another, but they’re actually wrong. There isn’t proof that separating twins is beneficial, which leaves some parents (and twins!) fighting for what is best.
For some twins, this means a rocky start to school when the security of having their twin nearby is stripped away. Of course, not all twins are better off in the same classroom, but it seems that this might be a decision better left to the people who know them best—their parents.

The pressure is real.

The way most people think about twins actually creates pressure for the twins themselves. Twins are expected to be close and to have a unique connection with each other, and they often do. But not all twins get along and those that don’t struggle to be honest about their feelings, according to Dr. Joan A. Friedman, a psychotherapist and author specializing in twin research and therapy.

“Twins have a hard time enjoying their own success or their own happiness if their twin isn’t having the same success or the same happiness at the same time.”

“If they don’t get along with their twin, they’re made to feel bad or strange or wrong for feeling that way and parents often feel that they’re failures when twins don’t get along,” she says. “There just doesn’t seem to be a lot of understanding, room, or space for recognizing that there are good reasons why twins, as they grow up, might not get along.”

While reasons for a twin rivalry can vary, one common cause is competition. Twins are often compared to one another and put in a spot to compete for the attention of their parents, which can breed competition between twin siblings, according to Family Education.

Individual success comes at a cost.

Of course, being a twin in no way guarantees similarities across all aspects of life; many twins have vast differences in abilities, interests, and personalities. Unfortunately for many twins, it can be difficult when one experiences success while the other struggles, according to Friedman.

“Twins have a hard time enjoying their own success or their own happiness if their twin isn’t having the same success or the same happiness at the same time,” she notes. “Because they’ve grown up in tandem and have experienced or expected that life is going to be equal for each one of them for so much of the time, when they’re faced with life’s normal inequalities, they’re not prepared to handle them.”
On her blog, Talk About Twins, author and mother of twins Barbara Baglivi Tinglof discusses how differences at a young age can be challenging for twins and their parents. Allowing one twin to explore their gifts without making the other feel ashamed for not experiencing the same success is typically a challenge, she says.

For twins navigating big differences between them, the tendency from parents and teachers to make comparisons between the two only makes matters worse.

They eventually hit a fork in the road.

Growing up, twins share much of their lives. They share the womb, they share a room, they share a classroom, and they might even share friends. As their high school career draws to a close, many twins choose separate paths. They then face a rocky transition to living adult lives separately from one another, says Friedman.
In her article for The Odyssey Online, twin Julianna McDowell shares her experience with this in her article “The Struggles and Benefits of Having a Twin in College.” At some point in high school, she and her sister, Mirabella, decided to apply to different colleges. McDowell describes near constant homesickness since separating from her twin but she also describes a unique sense of freedom that she hasn’t experience until now.

“I’ve been forced to shed the dependence on her that I had comfortably cocooned myself in for much of my life, and without it I have found, as she has too, a new sense of self. And although I know she is always just a phone call, text, or train ride away, my life on my own without her has finally begun to feel like just that; my life.”

The truth about marrying twins.

New relationships for twins, especially romantic ones, can present unique challenges for twins. After sharing an intense bond for their entire life, marriage can be difficult for twins who might not have experience developing intimacy with others.

“We’ve learned that it’s important to have our own interests and pursuits.”

In her blog, Dr. Barbara Klein, school placement and parenting coach and a national authority on twins, explains some of the the factors that make romantic relationships such a struggle for twins. Twins may begin their search for romance with unrealistic expectations, searching for someone to replace the connection they feel with their twin, she says. At the same time, twins often do not have the experience building relationships “from scratch” because they have always been able to rely on the presence of their twin.

It’s officially official I miss my twin sister #justsayin

— Corryn saputo (@corrynx7) September 18, 2017

Tracy Cochran is a writer and the editorial director of Parabola Magazine who teaches mindfulness meditation at the Rubin Museum of Art and throughout the New York Metropolitan area. She is also a fraternal twin married to an identical twin. She says that they have been able to cultivate a strong relationship, even as co-workers, but that her marriage has faced challenges unique to being a twin. She shares that she and her husband have noticed that the competition unique to twins can easily sneak its way into their marriage.
“Being a twin married to a twin is also double-edged. Twins are able to ‘twin’ with others, to mirror and to relate to them—at least I’ve been told this is true,” she says. “My husband and I work together, co-editing Parabola Magazine … [but] over the years we’ve had to work out a marriage where we don’t kind of compete for the same space. In other words, we’ve learned that it’s important to have our own interests and pursuits.”

Friedman has often experienced this in a clinical setting, sharing that she speaks with clients who are twins and whose spouse has developed intense jealousy of their twin. In some cases, the non-twin spouse may even ask the twin to sever communication with their twin because they cannot accept the connection the two share.

Twins in Science

Being genetically identical, twins provide a unique advantage in collecting data on everything from mental health to the age old argument of nature or nurture, according to Smithsonian Magazine. (Francis Galton, the first scientist to recognize just how valuable studying twins could be, actually coined the phrase “nature versus nurture” himself.)

Sharing an identical set of genes allows scientists to study the differences they possess and draw conclusions about environmental factors that may have caused these differences. This can help researchers study, for instance, why two people who share the same genes choose such different lives or why one develops a mental health disorder while the other does not.

Tags 50035326, hemingway, parenting

Wellbeing

7 Amazing (And Weird) Body Functions Humanity Developed For A Reason

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 28, 2017

When we were kids, my three siblings and I had an understanding that when we were feeling sick in the middle of the night, we needed to wake my mom. If there was any indication that we might vomit, we headed for her side of the bed and let my dad sleep.
It wasn’t that my dad wasn’t willing to help, it was just more of a mess if he got involved. He had very little control over his gag reflex and if one of us started to get sick in his presence, he’d make an immediate run for the nearest trash can and start vomiting too.

I’m sure my mom often wished she wasn’t the only parent on puke duty, but I doubt it ever crossed her mind that my dad might actually be more evolved. According to one popular theory about social vomiting, vomiting when someone else is puking may be an evolutionary development (and those who are prone to social vomit might be more evolved).
Ancient cultures, like pastoral tribes that moved from place to place, were believed to engage in a practice of forcefully making themselves vomit if another member of their group threw up. As gross as it might sound, this practice was based in a desire to protect the whole group from a case of poisoning, according to Medical Life Sciences News. It is believed that with time, the human body adopted this function as a means of survival. And also with time, throwing up anytime we see, hear, or smell vomit became an automatic, uncontrollable urge.

Sure, throwing up is totally disgusting, but it definitely makes sense as a protective behavior, especially for members of social groups that were constantly moving and being exposed to new varieties of food.
The body has a tendency to work this way—adapting to the environment over time as a means of survival. Here are a few other amazing, weird, and even gross bodily functions humanity developed for good reason.

1. Our body is home to countless microorganisms.

Although it might not make sense at first, there is a lot of benefit to having tons of bacteria present in the human body.

The presence of trillions of bacteria in the body isn’t an accident either, according to Scott Anderson, author of The Psychobiotic Revolution, a book that explores the role gut bacteria play in mental health.
“They are there to protect you from rapidly changing pathogens in the environment. Humans can’t change genes fast enough to keep up, so they conscripted a group of quickly evolving microbes to do the job for them,” he explains.

Not only do many scientists say the microbiome present in the gut is its own organ, they are also certain its presence is essential to human health. A healthy gut—one that has plenty of good bacteria—has long been said to promote digestive health and is now believed to be linked to mental health as well, according to the journal Gastroenterology & Hepatology.

2. Our body does this to protect us from injury.

Don’t feel bad if you’ve ever fainted at the sight of blood.

Many scientists believe this reflex is just one of the ways our bodies have evolved for the sake of survival. That light-headed feeling that may cause you to faint at the sight of blood is called vasovagal syncope, and it happens when we experience a drop in heart rate and blood pressure at the same time, according to Psychology Today.
Apparently, one commonly held theory is that vasovagal syncope developed to protect humans from injury. It’s a two-part theory, the first part being that slow blood flow would result in slower bleeding out in case of injury.

The second part of the theory is the assumption that this was a response that developed in civilizations that were regularly at risk of being harmed by other humans or wild animals. The assumption is that by seeing others harmed and bleeding then passing out, other humans could avoid harm by appearing dead.

3. Our skin problems may be preparing us for parenthood.

I know from personal experience just how agonizing and embarrassing acne during adolescence can be. I battled full face breakouts from 15 years old until I turned 21, and it wasn’t just unsightly, it was painful, too!

Imagine my disbelief when I read that some scientists actually believe skin breakouts are a blessing to adolescents, not a curse. According to one evolutionary theory published in the journal Medical Hypothesis, adolescents might develop acne to keep them from procreating until they are mature enough to be parents.
Yes, really, that unsightly breakout on your preteen’s face might be playing a role in keeping him abstinent.

The idea is that acne is just gross enough to turn off potential mates and that this might prevent teens from becoming sexually active, which is thought to prevent some kids from becoming parents until they’ve grown up a little, or at least matured enough to make better choices about their sex lives.

4. This reflex might be meant to save us from drowning.

Even though most humans, including myself, spend the majority of our days on dry land, we have an amazing reflex that is believed to be meant to save us from drowning. The mammalian dive reflex is the body’s response to a cold stimulus, like water, touching our face. Our body responds to the feeling of cold on our snouts by decreasing our heart rate and sending the blood in our body to our core to support the brain and the heart.

“All of this occurs the instant the face hits the cold stimulus. The reflex allows the conservation of oxygen and support of the most important structures in the body: the brain and the heart, as the body makes the judgement to go into survival, preservation, or calm mode,” explains Dr. Anthony C. Warren, a breathing expert and CEO of BreatheSimple.

5. The Body Part Only Half of the Population Needs

Have you ever wondered why both men and women have nipples, when only women have a practical purpose for them? Men don’t breastfeed, so why not skip the nipples altogether?

It’s all about the way humans develop after conception, according to LiveScience. The fact of the matter is that, during those first weeks of development, both men and women develop exactly the same. These rapidly developing embryos use the same genetic blueprint, nipples included.
Around six or seven weeks, the presence of the Y chromosome causes a differentiation between women and men. Those embryos with a Y chromosome begin to develop male sex organs, but the nipples stay.

Still, without the presence of estrogen in the body, their chests remain flat after adolescence.

6. This useless body part might actually have a purpose.

The human body evolves in response to the environment for the sake of survival and sometimes this means once valuable functions aren’t so necessary anymore. Since Darwin, evolutionary biologists believed the appendix was an “evolutionary artifact” once used to help humans who were eating low-quality and raw foods. These days, doctors will still remove a ruptured appendix without so much as a second thought.

However, newer research suggests there might actually be a purpose for the appendix, according to Science Daily. The hypothesis is that the appendix is home to a boatload of healthy bacteria, keeping them close at hand to replenish the gut if something goes awry, like a nasty case of diarrhea.

7. Our skin reacts when we’re cold or a little scared.

Has is ever crossed your mind how weird it is that humans get goosebumps when we’re cold, scared, or even after hearing someone belt out the national anthem? It might be so common that we’ve never thought to question it, but the origin of this bodily function is certainly interesting!
Long story short, adrenaline is behind the goosebumps we experience. Adrenaline is one of our body’s responses when we experience something that triggers our fight-or-flight response. This could happen for a variety of reasons, maybe during a stressful event, when something is emotional, or when we experience a novel sensation.

The release of adrenaline causes our skin to contract, which causes the area where hair grows to protrude, making individual hairs stick up, according to Scientific American. So, those little goosebumps are just one more way your body says, “Heads up! This is an abnormal, scary, or emotional situation.”
Of course, not all of these body functions are enjoyable (and some are downright disgusting), but it is nice to know there are good reasons why we developed so many seemingly bizarre traits.
Next time you find yourself popping a zit or engaging in a little social vomiting, remind yourself that you’ve got your ancestors and their environments to thank.

Tags 50035676, body, hemingway

Wellbeing

Finstas: The New, Secret Way Teens Are Using Instagram

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 22, 2017

A social media trend is emerging among today’s teens, and unlike many recent trends (illicit Snapchat stories come to mind), this is all about keeping things locked down.

Finstagrams (“finstas” for short) are secret Instagram accounts many teens are using to share privileged information about their lives with a limited number of people. They aren’t being used in place of regular or “real” Instagram accounts—sometimes referred to as “rinstagrams”—though. Instead, a finsta is a supplementary account for posting things that they don’t want to post on their public profiles.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was a teen. I remember what it was like to want to keep certain things about my life private. Of course, I kept my innermost thoughts in a journal hidden under my bed, but today’s teens are operating a little differently. Gone are the days of LiveJournal and Xanga (and don’t even think about actually putting pen to paper).

These days, high schoolers are actually sharing their experiences and what they think about their lives with their friends—through their finstas.

Recently, HuffPost published an alarming article about these private accounts and how teens were using them to hide certain lifestyle choices from their parents. The trend caught on after parents started using social media, according to the article. Teens just wanted a place where they could be free from their parents’ judgmental gaze.

“Originally born from the desire to carve out a space free from nosy parents, finstas have morphed into a malicious animal capable of reducing even the most well-adjusted and mentally healthy teens to rubble,” Daniel Patterson, the HuffPost writer, warns in his article.

If HuffPost does indeed have their facts straight, the vast majority of finstas are being used to share revealing pictures, hide partying, or talk about dangerous habits without their parents seeing their posts.

But how much of that is actually true?

Just how risky are finstagram accounts?

The idea of teens running private accounts can be alarming at first, but there isn’t a lot of proof that most teens are using them to hide dangerous lifestyle choices.

Of course, there are always teenagers who engage in risky behavior and, yes, some post about it online.

“I used to follow a lot of private account that did center themselves around [party] culture and violence…I think it was these kinds of bad decisions they were making that ultimately caused me to stray away from those kinds of issues and focus on the brighter and happier posting style,” an anonymous teen tells Urbo.

However, she says that these accounts seem to be few and far between. She thinks claiming that all, or even most, finstas were created for this reason is taking it too far.

The main reason people have finstas is so they can act silly or dumb.

It is hard to say if browsing the finstagram hashtag gives an accurate representation of the secret world of finstas (since most users are keeping their accounts private—meaning they won’t show up in public feeds curated from hashtags). Some teens may have missed the memo, though, and have both their normal account and finsta account set to “public.” And that’s where the hashtag comes in.

I did a quick scroll through the most recent public #finsta posts and noticed two vastly different kind of accounts. Yes, there are some pictures that deserve to be reported (and you can bet I did), but the majority of the posts I saw were fairly harmless.

There’s a meme about the cat with weirdly long legs in Le Chat Blanc by Pierre Bonnard. There is a picture of someone’s lunch. There’s a selfie of a girl doing facial masks with her friends. It’s kind of fun, honestly.

“The main reason people have finstas is so they can act silly or dumb,” Sage, age 15, says about her motivations behind creating a finstagram. According to Sage, most of her friends’ finstagrams are exactly like hers: They’re posting memes or less-than-flattering pictures or just ranting about something weird that happened at school. In fact, she says she has never stumbled on an account being used to conceal substance use or other risky behaviors.

“I follow a lot of accounts that started out as finstas and eventually morphed into meme-centered accounts, solely serving the purpose of making other people laugh, and I wanted to be a part of that community,” explains another teen, who is remaining anonymous at her parents’ request.

Why do teens want a private Instagram account anyway?

If most teens aren’t using their accounts to hide dangerous behavior, why have a private account at all? If a finstagram is simply memes, silly selfies, and posts about their day, why not post these pictures on their regular account?

My finsta, I typically use for…pictures I just don’t think are ‘good enough.’

According to Sage, there is a lot of pressure when your family and the entire school are following your account. She shared that her rinsta—her real account—is actually pretty boring and that the pictures are much more curated. It’s the type of stuff she wouldn’t mind a potential employer seeing. That’s how many teens use their normal Instagram accounts; at first glance, it seems they’re hardly posting to their accounts at all.

And that’s because many of them are using finstas, which seem to function as a daily diary, according to Dr. Lynn Zakeri, who is a clinical therapist working with teens in the Chicago area. When she chats with her clients about their finstas or the finstas they follo
w, they say they are largely sharing things they wouldn’t want to be read by the general public.

They might go as far as sharing intimate details about a bad day, hoping their followers will help them to feel better, or they might post pictures in hopes of having their self-esteem bolstered.

“I use my main Instagram for higher quality photos of either myself or my friends and [me],” says Katie Baker, an 18-year-old college freshman. She created her finsta in high school when the trend was first catching on.

She continues, “My finsta, I typically use for candids, landscape photos, or even just pictures I don’t think are ‘good enough’ for the main account. A lot of people just make their accounts funny, but there are those select few that post the crazier side of their lives.”

Here’s how a finsta works.

In general, the rules for most finstas a fairly simple. First, most teens are keeping these accounts private (although I found a handful who did not). Secondly, they can post as often as they want and their posts can be as unfiltered as they want.

It’s a way for people to post things without feeling a sense of judgement from their peers.

Want to complain about your day? Use your finstagram. Want to share a super cute (and heavily edited) picture you took during girls’ night out? That belongs on your rinstagram.

The rise of the finsta certainly seems to prove one thing: All those lectures parents have given their kids about privacy on the internet may have actually taken hold. Most kids have strict rules about who can and can’t follow their finstagram.

One anonymous teen said that their friends usually will deny a parent or teacher’s follow request and only allow friends they trust to follow them.

Baker backs up this assertion: “Most people have their finsta on private so they only allow the people they want and trust to follow their account. I have a finsta because it’s just funny to me to post stupid or ugly pictures on social media that I wouldn’t normally post, but only for a smaller audience,” she says.

“If I have never met or had a simple conversation with someone that tries to follow me, then I won’t allow their request.”

Finstas might not be dangerous, but are they healthy?

Although it seem that most teens are using their finstas to blow off a little steam or share funny pictures instead of sharing risky lifestyle choices (that they might not even be making), that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a healthy practice to engage in for any teens.

“I hear about it from junior high kids that this is where more bullying happens, more promiscuous images appear, and more testing boundaries,” explains Zakeri. Some kids may talk about self-harm ideations or share about their depression because they feel they have privacy from parental intervention—intervention they likely desperately need.

ppl think they’re gonna see explicit content when they follow my finsta when really all they’re gonna see is me crying and complaining sksks

— adrian (@homosexualangeI) September 15, 2017

Zakeria believes that a private account, specifically one that shares intimate details about a teens life, might be a cry for attention. She tends to ask what a teen needs emotionally that they believe they can get from a private account.

Are they just sharing spam because it’s silly and fun? Probably not a big deal. Are they looking for attention they’re not getting in real life? That’s a much bigger concern.

“Any kid that needs an outlet on a fake account, as a clinical therapist and a parent, I want to know what needs are being met in the real world,” says Zakeri.

Ultimately, Zakeri says there are bigger, underlying issues that drive a teen to create a finstagram and then share personal and private information with an exclusive set of followers. Specifically, she says that the motivation behind a finstagram is the bigger concern.

Perhaps, they’re not getting the judgement-free support they need from the adults in their life, as one anonymous teen so perfectly explains in a conversation with Urbo:

“The vast majority of finstas on Instagram aren’t spreading negativity, rather it’s a way for people to post things without feeling a sense of judgement from their peers.”

Tags 50034771, hemingway, mind

Lifestyle

Looks Matter: 8 Physical Traits That Predict Your Health And Personality

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 22, 2017

It’s what’s on the inside that counts, right?
Actually, as it turns out, the way we look is more important than most people might like to believe. Physical traits can be used to make judgments about personality traits and can even predict certain future health conditions.
In fact, our brain is always making snap judgments about others to form first impressions. The amygdala is amazingly capable of picking up on and interpreting nuanced social cues, according to research that was reported in Psychology Today. This part of the brain accomplishes this by taking in information from each of the five senses. After this information is interpreted, the amygdala sends out directions about how we should proceed in social situations.

The amygdala doesn’t have to work alone, though. The posterior cingulate cortex brings a more subjective perspective to the process of forming first impressions. This area of the brain is believed to be responsible for pulling up memories that are emotionally significant. It is thought that the posterior cingulate cortex helps individuals form the motivations that influence how they interact with others. In a way, it’s like the posterior cingulate cortex processes information about a new person and asks, “What can you do for me?”
From the way you respond to annoyances to your long term risks for cancer, here’s what your body is trying to tell you (and others) about who you are.

1. Red in the Face

For a young person, a look in the mirror might be enough to predict what skin problems you will deal with later in life, according to Dr. Cynthia Bailey, president and CEO of Advanced Skin Care and Dermatology.

If a child or young teen tends to flush easily, this might be an indicator they will deal with rosacea when they get older. There are also specific concerns for redheads.
“Being a redhead or carrying the redhead gene predisposes to melanoma,” Bailey explains.

2. Hey there, good lookin’!

No matter how hard we try to keep an open mind, our brain is always making snap judgments. This is especially true when we meet new people. In fact, the human brain is capable of making assumptions about someone in a tenth of a second, according to research presented in Psychological Science. Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov found that we form first impressions almost immediately based on a person’s face.

What exactly is your brain looking for? As it turns out, certain physical traits are linked with certain personalities. Or that’s what your brain believes, anyway.
For instance, if you’ve ever suspected that attractive people have it easier, prepare to feel validated. When we meet people we view as attractive, we tend to make positive assumptions about who they are.

It’s called the halo effect, according to an article on Being Human, and it’s the tendency our brain has to assume that someone who looks good is good. Meaning, if you meet someone with a great smile and dazzling eyes, you are more likely to believe they are friendly, trustworthy, and kind, regardless of whether that is actually true.

3. Look me in the eyes.

A look in the eyes might also be a predictor of your risks for cancer, according to Dr. Jennifer Stagg, naturopathic physician and author of Unzip Your Genes, 5 Choices to Reveal a Radically Radiant You.

“When it comes to uveal melanoma, a type of cancer that affects the eye, people with light-colored eyes do have an increased risk of developing this type of cancer due to the reduction in the protective pigment in the eye,” she explains.
When it comes to other types of melanoma, specifically on the skin, eye color isn’t so much a predictor, it just happens to be linked to other risk factors, according to Stagg. Darker eyes have been said to be linked to a lower risk of skin melanoma, but the truth is that darker skin comes with a lower risk, and darker-skinned individuals are more likely to have darker eyes.

So, if you’re brown eyed but fair skinned, you still need to be extra vigilant about watching for symptoms of the disease.

4. Hearing Kindness

When it comes to forming first impressions, the way a voice sounds is one characteristic that heavily influences how we form our first impressions of another person. And we can form that impression with a single word, according to a study conducted by the Voice Neurocognition Laboratory.

Participants were asked to listen to different recordings of people saying hello, then rate them based on traits like warmth, aggression, or trustworthiness. What researchers found was that people share common beliefs about what makes a voice sound trustworthy. For male voices, it is a higher pitch, and for female voices, it is the way their voices drop at the end of word.

5. Aggression Connection

One connection our brain makes between a person’s appearance and how they might behave is how aggressive they are. Based on how a person’s face looks, we make quick judgments about whether we have cause to be nervous in their presence.

This response is related to the width of their face, according to a study that appeared in Evolution and Human Behavior. Apparently, a wider face is associated with higher testosterone levels. Specifically, the brain makes a quick judgment based on a person’s face height:width ratio. Since high testosterone levels are associated with aggression, it is really a pretty smart assumption our brain makes with limited information.

6. Does size matter?

Although breast cancer research has long been looking for a link between breast size and an increased risk of breast cancer, Stagg says we still need more information to come to a definitive answer.

“Further research is needed to clarify the results of preliminary association-type study … breast cancer is extremely complex, involving many factors and genes. It is difficult at this point to say that having larger breasts confers an increased risk,” she explains.
While we’re talking about size, Stagg also pointed out that taller men should know their risks of aggressive prostate cancer are higher and that they’re more likely to die from the disease. Additionally, obesity has long been connected with increased risk for heart disease, cancer, diabetes, or stroke.

7. Leadership Qualities

When we meet a new person, our brain automatically makes judgments about whether that person would be a good leader. Interestingly enough, one characteristic we look for in a leader is height. Taller individuals are automatically assumed to be better at being in charge.

Amazingly, our brain is capable of making this judgment even when all they see of a person is their face. Certain facial characteristics, such as the length of the face, are believed to be associated with height, according to some studies. Researchers believe that once the brain has this information, it decides if a person is tall or not and whether they have leadership potential.

8. Reading Your Mental Health

Interestingly, people on the street aren’t the only ones judging your personality based on your appearance. In mental health, these type of judgments are a common practice as a means of making a diagnosis, according to Amina Shea Tinsley, licensed psychotherapist at the American Center for Holistic Wellness. But it’s not just your physical traits they are watching, it’s how you carry yourself.

For instance, when she visits with a new client, she says she cares more about body language than the color of their eyes.
“Mental health professionals observe their patient’s physical appearance at the beginning of each therapy session because it is a key component of the mental status exam, which includes your appearance, mood, and affect, among other things.”

Do you still control your future?

It might be discouraging to read that the way you look seems to matter so much. It’s no fun to learn that a specific trait you were born into is linked to increased risk for disease or that people are using your appearance to make judgments about who you are, but you should know that this isn’t a prediction of your future.
For instance, when it comes to personality, you can always work to make a positive first impression or change how people feel about you, according to Tinsley. It starts with understanding how you are perceived by other people.

“I call it mindful posture or being self-aware and conscious of how you are presenting yourself publicly. Slouching is culturally associated with being shy, timid, or fearful. I recommend practicing positive body language in the mirror before each social interaction. This may include a smile, standing tall, or mirroring to appear engaged and confident,” she suggests.
When it comes to physical traits and how they may influence the future of your health, genetics certainly matter, but Stagg offered some encouraging insights.
“Most diseases are the result of a combination of many genetic and lifestyle factors. We typically say that about 70 percent of health outcomes are dictated by your lifestyle choices, while only about 30 percent is genetics,” she says.

“For example, people who have a specific genetic variant that increases their risk of developing diabetes can completely negate the effect of that gene by eating a Mediterranean diet,” explains Stagg.
What this means is that making the right choices about how you live your life matters. If you are able to eat a nutritious diet, manage your stress, and get plenty of exercise and adequate sleep, you’ll provide your body with a healthy environment that will promote your overall wellness. And if you happen to know you’re at risk for a specific disorder or disease, talk with your doctor about actions you can take to mitigate that risk.

Tags 50033916, care, hemingway

Wellbeing

How Your Brain Tricks You Into Sticking With Bad Habits

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 21, 2017

Old habits die hard.

The very nature of habits is that they stick. In fact, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines habit as “a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.” Meaning: Habits are kind of a part of who you are unless you know how to break them.

It makes sense then, that so many people are in the throes of kicking habits they’d rather have said goodbye to long ago. Despite ample evidence that a smoking habit can do damage to nearly every part of the body, 36.5 million people living in the United States were still smoking regularly as of 2015, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

You develop those areas of the brain that support that habit.

Even though strict laws have been implemented to curtail texting and driving, thousands of people are killed each year because of distracted driving, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

So, what gives? Do people simply not care that their bad habits are killing them and the people around them?

It isn’t that simple. The truth is that breaking a habit that is etched into our routine is pretty complicated because the brain has a way of tricking us into maintaining the tendency, even when we don’t want to.

Understanding how your brain is working against you is the first step in finally saying sayonara to those irksome tendencies you’ve been plotting to kick to the curb.

It’s all in your head.

Perhaps the most frustrating reason habits are so hard to break is that they are literally all in your head. Habits are actually etched into your brain, according to Dr. Deborah Norris, neuroscientist and psychologist-in-residence at American University.

“When you use areas of the brain, that area of the brain grows. So when you have a habit, particularly a mental habit or way of thinking and behaving, you develop those areas of the brain that support that habit,” Norris explains to HealthyWay.

As a result, the more we engage in a certain habit, the more the areas of the brain that encourage the habit—good or bad—become stronger while the areas not associated with the habit go less used or even stagnate.

It’s all about the reward.

Unfortunately for us, most of our bad habits were formed because we experienced a reward for a certain behavior. Positive reinforcement is in part to blame for especially sticky habits, even when the rewards seem overshadowed by negative effects. These rewards are often predicated on how a habit makes us feel in the moment, even if it has negative long-term consequences.

The first job I have at my clinical practice is getting them thinking about what they do want.

Habits are a part of a loop that has three parts, according to an NPR interview with business writer Charles Duhigg. The first part of this loop is a trigger—something that reminds our brain it’s time to switch to autopilot. After the trigger is the behavior itself, which happens in response to the trigger. Last is the reward—whatever happens that tells our brain the habit has a positive consequence.

It’s amazing, really, our brain’s ability to complete complicated tasks without much thought, but it can also be frustrating when we want to eliminate repetitive, go-to thought processes or actions from our lives. According to Duhigg, to have more power over our habits, we must work to understand the different factors that are parts of the trigger–routine–reward cycle of whatever habit we’re trying to tackle.

It’s a part of who you are.

Norris shares that before we ever engage in a bad habit, there is a way we think about the tendency that sets us up for failure when it comes to quitting. We tend to see our bad habits as parts of of our identities, and in some cases, we don’t even have the appropriate language to disrupt the belief that this is “just who we are.”

For example, Norris referred specifically to the habit of smoking, pointing out that people who smoke see themselves as a person who smokes. There isn’t actually a positive label for someone who doesn’t, either, we have a smoker and a non-smoker, but our language stops there.

This can mess with our beliefs about our identity, and Norris suggests the first step to fighting back against the idea that a bad habit is part of who we are is creating a label for the type of person you want to be without the habit in your life.

“When people come to me and want to quit smoking … the first thing we have to do is establish their identity as who they would be if they didn’t do this negative habit that they don’t want. The first job I have at my clinical practice is getting them thinking about what they do want. Because when we stay focused on what we don’t want, that’s what we generate.&rdq
uo;

Want to quit smoking? Try “free breather” on for size. Ready to ditch overeating for good? See what happens when you start calling yourself a “healthy eater” instead.

You don’t have the time.

Another challenge when it comes to breaking a bad habit is the amount of time it takes to solidify the change. Even though a commonly held belief is that habit change takes 21 days, that actually isn’t true. Instead, recent research has found that the time it takes to break or make a habit varies greatly from person to person, according to the European Journal of Social Psychology.

I have more energy. I have more stamina. I feel better getting dressed in the morning.

Just how much time does it take? The lucky ones can solidify a habit change in as little as 18 days, but others require as many as 254 days to make a new behavior automatic. When it comes down to it, the proven key to developing a habit is repeating it over and over and over again in response to a specific trigger or cue, according to the study’s authors.

You’re not connecting the dots.

If you’re having trouble ditching a bad habit or getting a new, beneficial one to stick, it might be because of a disconnect in the way you think. Amazingly, our brain has a strange way of thinking about who we are now and who we will be in the future that makes it hard to weigh the consequences of our actions accurately.

In fact, research published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Science revealed that how we think about our future self greatly influences how we behave in the future. The less connected we feel to who will be in the future, or our needs in the future, the more likely we are to make choices that only benefit our present self.

It’s as if we look at a massive doughnut and think to ourselves, “Increased risk of diabetes and heart disease for my future self? Who cares about that schmuck? My present self wants a treat!”

You’re not infinitely powerful.

As much as we’d like to pretend it isn’t true, we’re only human. We don’t have infinite willpower at our disposal, and that makes it hard to make big changes. Our limited power has a bigger effect on our choices than we might think, according to a study by Roy Baumeister in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

We actually run out of willpower easily. So if we make a great decision that requires a lot of strength, the very next good decision is going to be significantly harder to make. This was discovered by tempting participants with the smell of fresh baked cookies.

After smelling the cookies, half of the group was instructed to eat only radishes and the other half was asked to eat only cookies. (This sounds downright cruel, in my opinion!) Both groups were told they were participating in research on taste perception, not willpower.

Breathing, expelling carbon dioxide out of the body, literally, physically deactivates the hypothalamus.

Before participants left for the day, they were asked to refrain from eating chocolates or radishes for 24 hours, when they would report back for the second half on the study.

Upon their return, the participants were required to participate in a problem-solving activity that was actually impossible to solve. Those who had been allowed to eat chocolate were more likely to stick it out, whereas those who had been required to eat radishes wanted to quit early on.

The researchers involved in the study believe that the reason behind these behaviors is a depletion of willpower. Sticking it out is hard, and when you’re presented with decisions that require self-control over and over again, your brain simply gets tired of the doing the “right” or “hard” thing.

How to Trick Your Brain Into Letting Go of Habits

There are a lot of strategies for breaking bad habits (or picking up some new ones), but Norris said there is one that stands out above the rest—mindfulness.

In a clinical setting, clients who are trying to make changes are asked to identify the positive dimensions of the change they want to make and are then instructed to imagine what it will feel like to live life without that habit. They’re asked to spend time imagining who they feel like they will be once they’ve made the change.

“People will say, ‘Oh, I have more energy. I have more stamina. I feel better getting dressed in the morning.’ So we begin to explore mindfully what that feels like and that is a very powerful tool in action.”

The reason this works so well, according to Norris, is really similar to how repeated habits strengthen the parts of the brain they use. Mindfulness has a similar effect. When we use mindfulness to engage new parts of the brain, we strengthen those parts, gradually becoming equipped to let go of the bad habit entirely.

So, how does someone use this approach outside of a clinical setting?

“I suggest that people start with an open mind. They’re not trying to accomplish something, they’re exploring the opportunity. …We encounter our frustration [with the habit] and we allow it to be there.”

Moving forward with an open mind, Norris says the second step is proceeding with curiosity about the physical experience they have with or without the habit. This can be done with a body scan, which is a widely practiced mindfulness exercise that involves practicing self-awareness from head to toe. Those who are just beginning to practice meditation can find a guided body scan meditation on the UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center website.

Finally, use deep breathing as the final element of your new mindfulness practice. This isn’t some woo-woo practice; there are actual physiological benefits in the brain that result from deep breathing.

“It allows the brain to shift more rapidly. So, if we’re trying to let go of old pathways in the brain and build new pathways, that breathing, expelling carbon dioxide out of the body, literally, physically deactivates the hypothalamus, it deactivates the stress response and that allows more rapid transformation,” Norris explains.

Tags 50035016, hemingway, mind

Motherhood

Compliments You Seriously Need To Stop Giving Your Kids

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 13, 2017

“I just don’t want to screw my kids up.”
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. One of my biggest anxieties as a mom is my ability to launch my children into adulthood with minimal damage done.
And to think there was a time when I believed that the hardest things I would do as a mom were the sleepless nights with a teething babe. Boy, was I wrong.
Now that my three kids are mostly past the sleepless-nights phase of their lives, I can see more clearly how challenging the years ahead will be. The solutions to fevers and molars were downright simple when compared with raising emotionally healthy kids.
As a result, I tend to worry about most things I say to my kids. I wonder if I am saying enough or if I’m saying too much. I feel anxious that even the good things I say might be doing more harm than good, like when I compliment the outfit they picked out or congratulate them on a job well done.

It all seems so complicated. There are whole lists of rules about complimenting kids, and they’re based on pretty sound research.
“Make sure you’re sincere.” “Don’t praise your kid for doing a good job at something they like.” “Don’t praise kids for things that they can’t control.”

When you praise effort, children will choose more challenging paths and tend to stick with it longer.

In my day-to-day life as a working mom of three, this all seems overwhelming and hard to put into practice. Hoping to really grasp and digest the do’s and don’ts of praising children, I spoke with a few psychologists who specialize in child development to glean their insights on the subject.

The Bigger Picture

For starters, parents need to begin by addressing their own anxieties and concerns about their children’s self-esteem. Kids are smart, and even if they’re not aware of it, they pick up on the subconscious messages their parents are sending them, according to Dr. Brad Reedy, psychiatrist and author of The Journey of The Heroic Parent.

“It’s not what you say to your children that makes the difference, it’s how you think about them, how you hold them in your mind. Sometimes…you can sense an anxiety or a desire for the parent to get the child to think or feel a certain way about themselves…that is actually a more powerful message and the child has this experience unconsciously that ‘I am less than, something’s wrong me, I have a deficit, I’m causing my parent’s anxiety,” he explains.

“Good job!” and “Way to go!” won’t actually get you a long way.

More practically, Reedy suggests that parents adopt a policy of “less is more,” especially when it comes to hyping up kids’ performance in school, sports, or other activities.
For starters, it is best not to focus on the product at all, according to Dr. Sarah Kohl, pediatrician and founder of Travel Ready MD, who instead encourages parents to praise the effort behind the product. For example, kids in sports benefit more from interaction in which a parent takes notice of how hard they’ve been practicing or asks if they enjoyed themselves during a game instead of an interaction in which a parent reveals that they’ve been keeping track of how many goals their child scored.

The interesting thing about focusing on our kids’ efforts instead of their outcomes is that it actually sets them up for success in the long run, according to Reedy.
“In studies, children who are praised for their intelligence or giftedness tend choose or follow paths that are easier or tend to cheat, whereas, when you praise effort, that’s something that is within the child’s control. So, when you praise effort, children will choose more challenging paths and tend to stick with it longer.”
It is nongeneric praise that holds the most benefit for children, according to research published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, which found that phrases like, “good job drawing” more effectively encouraged persistence in difficulty than generic phrases like, “good job.”

Additionally, Reedy is quick to warn parents not to use phrases like “I’m proud of you,” as he believes that creates unnecessary pressure for children, often unintentionally communicating that is the child’s responsibility to make their parents feel proud.

How Parents Should Behave When It Comes to Their Kids’ Behavior

Outside of performance, there is also the issue of how we talk to our kids about their behavior. It’s no secret that parents appreciate children who are obedient and listen well, but we should be careful about how we express our appreciation.

Rather than tying their worth as a person to whether they behave well or not, we want to praise or criticize the behavior.

Generic praise, such as saying “Good boy!” is less than helpful for young kids. In fact, according to a study in Psychological Science, this type of praise is correlated with an increased likelihood of giving up when things get hard.

Additionally, linking praise to a child’s identity instead of the behavior itself can create confusion for the child in the long run, according to child psychologist Dr. Ilana Blatt-Eisengart.
“The problem with this is that you are implicitly telling the child that they are a ‘bad kid’ when they don’t behave and there will definitely be a time when they don’t. Rather than tying their worth as a person to whether they behave well or not, we want to praise or criticize the behavior, as well as helping them see the consequences of that behavior.”

Reedy suggests parents take it one step further by adopting more objective language when talking to their kids about behavior. Instead of placing a lot of value on the behavior, parents might instead take notice of the behavior with phrases like, “I just noticed you were cooperating with me and I appreciate that.”
“The problem is, when you get into judgmental language, when you get into placing a value on it, you don’t give place for the struggle. If a child is acting out, for example … and you’re just paying attention to the behavior and you’re just making a judgmental statement about whether it’s good or bad, you don’t give any place for the unpacking of what’s going on underneath. Acting out behavior always has its roots in some kind of emotional distress or pain.”

The gender divide—is it real when it comes to complimenting kids?

Although parents might feel that girls and boys need different kinds of praise from their parents, the opposite is actually true. No matter their gender, parents should aim for gender-neutral compliments when talking to their children.

[If] the struggle or difficulty isn’t valued and what is underneath isn’t sought after, then the child doesn’t develop an integrated self.

For girls, even comments that are intended to be uplifting can have a negative effect, according to The Guardian. When we focus on their appearances, complimenting their looks or dress, it can communicate the idea that our daughters’ looks are the first things we notice about them.

For boys, gender-specific compliments still tend to focus on stereotypical masculine characteristics such as being tough or strong. This is a mistake parents should work diligently to avoid.
“Any time you compliment the masculine in a boy, as if the feminine side is not allowed, that is when we get into trouble. More specifically, what I mean by that is, ‘Man up!’ or ‘Boys don’t cry’ or complimenting a boy for going through something and being tough about it. Versus, of course, you can imagine complimenting a boy when he’s crying, when he’s sensitive, or when he’s vulnerable. Those would be compliments of the whole self, right?”

He further explained that praising children for being strong while getting through something hard implies that being sensitive or emotional or needing help is a failure on the part of the child. Boys and girls alike should be given permission from their parents and caregivers to embrace both the feminine and masculine aspects of who they are, and the way we compliment them needs to reflect that.

Considering a Different Approach

If all of this seems a little overwhelming—like way too many rules about what you should or shouldn’t say—you’re not alone. I couldn’t help but feel like I was failing after my chat with these experts about talking to my kids, especially when it comes to addressing their accomplishments and failures.

So I asked about that—about what parents who don’t feel like they’re saying the right things should do. Reedy suggests parents take an approach I wasn’t all that familiar with before: embracing their limitations.
“You own it. You own your limitations. If you have to be omnipotent, if you have to be all powerful and have all capacity, you and your children are doomed. That’s a fact. You’re overwhelmed, you have limited capacity, you have limited energy, so just own it. You’ll apologize consistently,” he explains.
Parents who are worried about saying the right or wrong thing might also find it helpful to adopt something Reedy calls curious parenting. Instead of making judgemental statements about a child, if parents can be truly curious about their children and their behavior, both positive and negative, they’ll give their children and themselves a chance to reflect on what lies underneath.

“It’s not even about shaping the behavior. All of this energy, all of this focus on reinforcing behavior, it can be the cherry on top at the end…but if that is valued and the struggle or difficulty isn’t valued and what is underneath isn’t sought after, then the child doesn’t develop an integrated self.”

Tags 50035001, hemingway, parenting

Sweat

Truth Behind The Shot: What It's Really Like Being An Instagram Fitness Model

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 12, 2017

Katie Dunlop, the owner of Love Sweat Fitness, a fitness Instagram with a blog to match, never set out to become a brand influencer.
In fact, if you had pulled her aside when she was a recent college grad who had gained 45 pounds during her college career and you told her she would soon be making her living as a fitness influencer, she probably would have thought you were joking.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Mar 1, 2017 at 12:06pm PST

“I never imagined I’d be teaching fitness classes or in the fitness world, let alone running an entire fitness community online,” Dunlop tells HealthyWay.
Before she adopted her healthy lifestyle, weight loss and fitness were difficult subjects for her. She tried countless fad diets, specialty products, and cycles of unhealthy eating followed by days of restriction. Taking care of her body was an emotional struggle for her.
When eating nutritious meals and finding exercise she loved really clicked, she not only lost 45 pounds, she also gained a passion for helping other women move past their struggles with weight and into a lasting, healthy lifestyle.

How She Got Started

Today Dunlop has 244,000 followers on Instagram, a popular blog, and more than 205,000 YouTube subscribers. As hard as might be to believe, her online following started very organically.
Her personal success losing weight sparked an interest in fitness and healthy eating.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Sep 28, 2016 at 6:23pm PDT

“It really came out of my own weight loss transformation. I lost 45 pounds and completely changed my lifestyle. I fell in love with health and fitness,” explains Dunlop.
She became a certified personal trainer and began teaching fitness privately in Los Angeles. Her friends and the students in her barre classes actually were the ones who came up with the whole idea of taking her fitness education online, asking her to post workouts they could use while they weren’t in class.
Beginning with her personal Instagram feed, in 2014 Dunlop started posting fitness content, including inspirational quotes and workouts she created. It wasn’t long until she felt she should switch to a new account, so her family and friends wouldn’t be inundated with non-stop workouts and healthy living quotes. That’s when Love Sweat Fitness was born.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Aug 22, 2017 at 6:45pm PDT

Dunlop believes that her message of no fad diets and a healthy lifestyle that is maintainable for the long term resonated with women who were tired of trying big changes or trendy diets that didn’t work. She also believes her timing was right—that starting her influencer career in the earlier years of Instagram’s popularity allowed her to reach a large audience in a shorter amount of time.
“It really stemmed from this passion that I had for wanting to share with people I did know. Because of that, and sharing my own personal transformation stories, it got picked up by larger pages who would then share it.”

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on May 2, 2017 at 8:09pm PDT

This is when her audience really began to take off. Having popular fitness influencers sharing her content allowed her page to grow into something much larger than she had ever planned for it to be.

The Hustle

Of course, just because her life as an Instagram fitness influencer began organically, that doesn’t mean Dunlop hasn’t hustled. In early 2016, she turned Love Sweat Fitness into a full-time career. Making her business her sole source of income has meant giving it her all.
Between her time spent creating recipes, going on photo shoots, and filming workouts, Dunlop is a busy woman. If there is one thing she wants others to understand it is that being an influencer is no walk in the park and that her husband sacrifices his time off helping her photograph, edit, record workouts, and strategize for her business.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Nov 5, 2016 at 9:44am PDT

“We work basically 24/7, which I think is something people don’t think about. People see the fun, ‘Yay! I’m going here and it’s lovely!’ But it’s nonstop…nights and weekends and everything.”
Dunlop’s financial success and popularity may have stemmed in part from the fact that she is offering more to her followers than sponsored posts. Although she does work with brands frequently, she also regularly turns down brands that don’t align with her message.
“At the end of the day, I have to be real because that is who I am and I understand how deep it goes and how much of an emotional thing [weight loss] can be for women. I want to make sure I am always being true to that and expressing that in everything I do. It is really easy to get caught up in seeing what their physical body looks like and then believing that whatever they say or do is going to work for you, like some magic pill.”
In addition to the money she makes working with brands like Lorna Jane, BioClarity, and more, Dunlop has worked tirelessly to create weight loss and nutrition resources she feels proud to sell.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Sep 9, 2017 at 3:44pm PDT

“I have my Hot Body Sweat Guide and Hot Body Meal Plan, I’m getting ready to launch a lifestyle and recipe book. Those are probably the main source of our income. As well as the apparel. I have tanks and water bottles.”
When it comes making money as a brand influencer, Dunlop has set pretty strict rules for Love Sweat Fitness. She does have ongoing brand partnerships that provide her with regular income, but says:
“I’m super picky and particular, especially when it comes to anything that is food or beverage related. Even with clothing, I’m very picky about the brands I work with because… I know there are a lot of companies out there that have a ton of money. It is tempting to want to work with them but at the end of the day, I have to put my beliefs first. So, the brand partnerships are a smaller part of what we do.”

A Day in the Life

“Throughout the week it can change constantly, whether it’s jumping to different events, going to film different shoots for collaborations with collaborations like PopSugar… In general, it’s a lot of time online.”
Although she knows many might believe her life is spent working out all day, that isn’t the case. Instead, Dunlop spends a lot of her time reading and responding to comments on YouTube and Instagram, which she believes is essential to nurturing her community of followers. She also spends a lot of her time brainstorming content and putting together blog posts.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Feb 5, 2017 at 2:43pm PST

When it comes to maintaining her own fitness, it really isn’t as time consuming as many outsiders might assume. For Dunlop, working out only takes up between 30 and 45 minutes of each day.

The Truth Behind the Shot

Dunlop spends a lot of time in front the camera. She is constantly shooting content for her blog and Instagram and shares that she and her husband work hard keep a large library of original photos available for use online.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Nov 23, 2016 at 7:37am PST

Additionally, each brand partnership or collaboration means a new photo shoot. Sometimes these are photo shoots she and her husband have planned, other times they are photo shoots with magazines or online publications.
“I do a lot of workout creations for brands like Lorna Jane or Fabletics, and so part of that will be creating workouts and doing photos for their blogs or for their social channels of the different workouts, exercises, and movements.”
Getting the right shot is a lot of work. Dunlop isn’t afraid to admit that Instagram is a visual platform and that her feed is curated to look pleasing to the eye.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on May 8, 2017 at 11:15am PDT

Just like anyone else, Dunlop is always putting her best foot forward on her Instagram feed. At the same time, since she prioritizes being authentic, she has found ways to strike a healthy balance so her followers can see more of her “real life.”
“I think the creation of platforms like Snapchat and now Instagram having the story, has provided a really great opportunity…for people to be able to see the daily, messy bun, here I am just working on the computer.”
Dunlop and her husband–photographer work hard to get beautiful shots for her Instagram feed, blog, and workouts. There are many times when entire weekend outings are centered around getting shots of her on the beach, hanging out with friends, or wearing new gear from a brand partnership.

A post shared by Katie Dunlop (@lovesweatfitness) on Jul 11, 2016 at 6:12pm PDT

At the same time, there is a big difference between styling a photo by posing with props and heavily editing a photo to cover up the truth. For Dunlop, putting her authentic self out there is a standard she simple isn’t willing to budge on just to get more likes or a chance to team up with a bigger brand.
“Of course, I want to put pretty pictures up, but that is more to help inspire people. But I don’t edit photos except for making sure you can see them and they’re well lit. I’ve never gone down that road because I think, at the end of the day, it always comes out, you don’t feel good, and it’s not authentic. People are going to see through that and it’s just not worth it.”

Tags 50034946, body, hemingway

Wellbeing

Bridal Store Employees Reveal 10 Things You Need To Know Before You Go Shopping

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date September 1, 2017

When I bought my wedding dress, I knew I had broken a big rule of wedding dress shopping.
Even though the consultants at David’s Bridal had warned me to do otherwise, I left with a dress that was two sizes too small.
In the end, it worked out in my favor: I lost 20 pounds and was thrilled about how I looked in my dress on my wedding day.
Still, I can’t help but laugh when I look back on the dress shopping experience. I was 19 years old, newly engaged, and completely clueless when it came to the “dos” and “don’ts” of wedding dress shopping.
Half an hour into my fitting, my consultants were visibly annoyed with my lack of dress knowledge, the fact that I had done zero research, and especially that I was wearing the “wrong” undergarments. (Apparently a sports bra is not the ideal choice for a sweetheart neckline. Who knew?)

Despite all that, I had to be one of the easier brides in the store. I tried on four dresses and was was on my way with my chosen gown in under 60 minutes.
Still, a wedding dress just might be the biggest clothing purchase of a woman’s life, and there are a lot of dress-shopping expectations most brides-to-be don’t know or understand.
Perhaps one of the biggest misunderstandings out there is that working in bridal sales is a magical experience in which fairytale moments take place every day.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjubXNOnbAk/
But—you guessed it—that isn’t the reality.
In fact, bridal store employee and Reddit user quesaritoqueen recently started an Ask Me Anything (AMA) thread to set the record straight. Like many Reddit users, we were intrigued, so we dug into the industry to verify her claims.
Here’s the best advice we got from insiders.

1. Leave your bridesmaids at home.

For some brides, shopping for a wedding dress quickly transforms into in all-day event, complete with lattes, a restaurant reservation, and the attendance of every member of their wedding party.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. — Dr Seuss — #SoManyTears #WeddingDressShopping #FullSleeveStarted #MomsAndMaids #SaidYesToTheDress

A post shared by Kaila Leiter (@kaileiter) on Aug 28, 2017 at 4:58pm PDT

Although it might be common practice to bring your bridesmaids along for a fitting, Sharon Miller, owner of the Gown Gallery in Kansas City, Missouri, suggests brides-to-be leave the crowd behind.
“You should limit the number of people that you bring to your appointment,” she says. “You want to bring close knit family members and maybe a close friend if you really value their opinion and know they’re going to give you the very best advice.”

Outside of those few people, it’s probably best to meet for lunch with the rest of the crew after the shopping is through, since Miller revealed that there simply isn’t enough room for a large crowd to fit politely in most bridal salons.

2. Don’t just show up.

Here’s a dress shopping faux pas newly engaged me certainly committed: showing up at a bridal store and expecting to be seen the same day.
According to Miller, the best approach is the opposite of that: Make your appointment as far out as possible, especially if you are dealing with schedule limitations.

“Once you are engaged, quickly make your appointment with your bridal salon,” she advises. “A lot of bridal salons fill up really fast for the weekends and if there is a certain day you want to shop, say if a close family member lives out of town, it is good to make your appointment far in advance so you can be sure you can shop on the day and time that is convenient for you. A lot the time, stores can’t get you in at the last minute.”

3. Have a vision in mind…

A stylist’s job is to help you find a dress that matches your overall vision for your wedding, according to Miller. She suggests that brides come to the appointment prepared.
Do some research and make a few decisions in advance. Be prepared to discuss your venue (or the ones you have in mind) and other specific design elements you love, whether those are colors, accessories, or the shoes you’re dead set on wearing down the aisle.

… and so the planning begins… . #bride #weddingplanningbegins #joyfuldays #petitjoys #wedding #weddingideas #weddingmagazines #bridetobe #kznmidlands #lovewrendley #blogger #sundays

A post shared by Claire Wither (@lovewrendley) on Aug 27, 2017 at 1:54am PDT

“When you sit down with your consultant at your appointment, the consultant is going to ask you questions about fabrics that you like or necklines that you love. Do you like an interesting back? Beading or no beading? All of the information that you can share with the consultant at your first meeting is going to help that consultant to be able to pull the gowns that you love,” she advises.

4. …but don’t be stubborn.

Knowing what you want before your appointment will give your stylist a lot of information to work with when they start pulling gowns, but don’t have your heart so set on a style that you aren’t willing to consider your stylist’s advice.

“Brides should always try on multiple styles of dresses,” said Shannon Whitney Anson, founder and principal planner at Destination Upstate. “Even if they love the look of a mermaid dress, they may find out that a mermaid dress just isn’t flattering for their figure. Being open minded to try on a few dresses that might not look as good on the hanger may turn out to be the perfect dress on their body.”

5. Know when to say no.

If you are going to avoid any one mistake while being fitted for a dress, make it this one.
Don’t try on dresses you can’t afford!
Many bridal shops have gowns intended for a broad spectrum of budgets and it is important that you let your stylists know up front what you can and can’t spend, Miller shares.

Oh hi @randyfenoli ‘ We’re so excited to have you back at #Kleinfeld for your trunk show weekend! ‘

A post shared by Kleinfeld Bridal (@kleinfeldbridal) on Aug 11, 2017 at 10:11am PDT

“A lot of salons might have price points from $1,500 and up. If you have a $2,000 budget, you want to let that consultant know that so she’s not pulling gowns and you fall in love with something that’s not in your budget and become unhappy because you can’t have that gown.”
So what about the claims that bridal store employees are trying to coerce you to break your budget? That may depend on where you’re shopping.

No store openly advertises a policy of pushing brides beyond their budgets, but remember, the power to stay out of an overpriced dress (No—you shouldn’t even try it on!) is in your hands.

6. Realize you’re not the only one feeling the pressure.

As a bride-to-be, you’re feeling pressured to find the perfect dress, stay within a reasonable budget, and dodge the awkwardness of winding up in something that makes you feel, well, awkward.

On the other side of the equation is your consultant, who, depending on the setting, might be working under an oppressive commission structure that has them more stressed out about their next paycheck than charmed by your vision for the big day.

The fact of the matter is, some big bridal chains really do operate under intense commission models.
In her AMA thread, quesaritoqueen shared that the pressure to make a sale, no matter what it took, was a common expectation from management.

According to another former bridal chain employee, consultants at the store where she worked are paid minimum wage plus a 20 percent commission on all their sales. However, they don’t make a penny in commission unless they have met a sales goal of $10,000 within their two-week pay period.
Since the average dress at at this particular insider’s chain cost $500, a consultant would have to sell at least 20 dresses every two weeks to make more than minimum wage.

“If you don’t hit that threshold, you get zero commission. ZERO,” the former employee explained. “You could make $9,999 in sales, but you would only get paid your minimum wage for the hours you had put in. The ‘best’ part is that if you didn’t hit your target, you would get a warning or reprimand. If you got three of those in a row—so after six weeks of not hitting your target—you could lose your job!”
The result of this type of high-pressure environment is lower quality customer service for brides-to-be and maybe the feeling that you can’t trust your consultant’s seemingly helpful intentions.

This former employee confesses that ultimately brides with higher budgets got the most attention from sales consultants.
“It is true what others said on [the Reddit] thread, that a lot of consultants will mentally check out once they find out a bride has a super low budget, especially if they have a more promising appointment going on across the store.”

7. Shopping local might pay off.

While the thought of getting inferior treatment due to your budget is disconcerting, brides should know that not everyone in the industry is thinking dollar signs as they zip you up, especially not in smaller boutiques.

Not only do I get to marry my best friend in 10 months time … I now get to marry him in my dream wedding dress ”– Words can’t describe that feeling I got today! ‘ Thankyou @lauramaybridal

A post shared by • J a y C r i s p i n • (@jayxcrisp) on Aug 27, 2017 at 12:27pm PDT

Vanessa Diaz, who spent her college years working in bridal sales and now works as a creative consultant, says that her experience in an independently owned bridal store was much more positive.
“I didn’t work for [a] corporate store, so I am not able to speak on their experiences,” she says. “Of course, all stores want you to sell. You make commission off it in many cases. Since I was an independently owned store…I was able to make the customer experience less sales driven.”
Some stores, like the Gown Gallery, which is independently owned and has a reputation for exceptional customer service, eschew the commission-based model altogether.

“We don’t work on commission,” Miller tells HealthyWay. “We never have. I had one bride say, ‘I knew this was what wedding shopping was supposed to be like.’ That’s what counts to us.”
Takeaway: Between researching silhouettes and booking your first appointment, do a little digging to find out which salon in your area has the most personable staff and a business model that will support your shopping experience.

8. Pay attention to the details.

If staying within budget is a big concern, it is a good idea to pay attention to what you’re spending after you’ve found your dress. According to another former bridal chain employee, consultants weren’t explicitly told to push brides to break their budget on a dress, but they were expected to upsell once dress selection had taken place.

“We were pressured more to sell the ‘extras’ in addition to the dress, stuff that adds up fast… A sash, a veil, a tiara, shoes, all that jazz.”

9. Don’t put it off.

If you are waiting to shop for your wedding dress, maybe until you lose a few more pounds or have nailed down your venue, you could be putting yourself at risk for a wedding dress emergency. A few months might feel like all the time in the world to order your dress and have alterations made, but the truth is, shopping for a wedding gown is completely different from typical clothing shopping.

“The biggest thing women do not realize is they need to order their dress six months in advance,” says Diaz. “Many manufacturers have them made abroad to your measurements and some will have more custom measurements than others.”
She also suggested that once you have ordered your dress you make your first fitting appointment for two months before your wedding day, just in case you need more than one fitting.

Your final fitting should be roughly a month before your wedding day.

10. Consider staying home on Saturdays.

Brides who are looking for a one-on-one experience with a consultant should consider making a weekday appointment, since most bridal stores are swamped on Saturdays. Even independent store Gown Gallery is typically completely booked on weekends.

“When I’ve had friends thinking about shopping there, I always tell them ‘Do not go on a Saturday,’ because the place is an absolute zoo,” shared a former bridal chain employee. “As a consultant I had three bridal appointments at the same time one Saturday because we were so busy and it was a nightmare for all of us—my three brides, their entourages, and me!”

Tags 50034361, balance, Commerce, hemingway