Category: Happy x Mindful

Understanding Body Image And Learning To Love Your Body (Just The Way It Is)

Post author By Jeanne Sager
Post date December 10, 2017

I’m not sure when it hit me that I cover my mid-section when I’m alone. In the car, fully clothed, I still grab for a sweatshirt from the back seat and drape it across my lap. I sit in the living room with a pillow against my stomach.
I’m 35 years old, and I’m as uncomfortable in my own skin as I was as a 12-year-old still learning to make sense of hips and breasts and stretch marks. I want to love my body.
I want to.
But the words “positive body image” leave me gasping for breath.
The first time I made myself throw up, I was 14. That was more than two decades ago, and yet I carry bulimia around with me every day, a devil perched on my shoulder urging me toward the toilet. I am healing, but I don’t know that I will ever be healed.
And I know I’m not alone.
In a 2009 University of Central Florida study of girls just 3 to 6 years old, half already worried about being “fat.” A third said that if they could, they’d change at least one physical attribute. The numbers hardly improve from there.
In a Dove-sponsored survey conducted in 2016, 85 percent of women and 79 percent of girls said they opt out of day-to-day activities (from sports to spending time with family) when they don’t feel good about the way they look. Nine in 10 women said they’d keep themselves from eating if they weren’t feeling good about their looks.
For some, it stops there. For many, struggles with body image take them into dangerous territory. The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) estimates that at least 30 million people suffer from an eating disorder in the U.S. That’s people of all ages and genders.
ANAD’s statistics show that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
So how do we combat that? How do we face a society rife with photoshopped models and fat-shaming tabloids only to come out on the other side with a happy, healthy mind and positive body image?
Can you be that mom on the beach rocking a bikini with her tiger stripes out there for all the world to see—or the woman in the mall wearing a tank top, her upper arms bare and tanned?
I’d like to be her one day. But learning to love my body just the way it is has made me face one salient fact: I need to understand body image before I can form one that’s positive.

What is body image?

It seems self-explanatory, right? Body image is the image you have of your body. But according to Lauren Smolar, program director at the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), the concept is much more nuanced than that.
“Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind,” Smolar tells HealthyWay. “It encompasses what you believe about your own appearance, how you feel about your body, how you sense and control your body as you move, and how you feel in your body; [it’s] not just about your body.”
In other words, our body image isn’t just visual. It’s mental. It’s emotional. It’s physical. And it’s ever changing.
“We hear the idea of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ body image quite often, but in fact, body image isn’t that simple,” says Ashley Solomon, psychologist and executive clinical director of Eating Recovery Center. “It’s never all good or all bad, and it’s not static. It’s constantly evolving, even as we move throughout our day.”
Studies have found that the way we look at and feel about our bodies can be complicated by everything from the way different manufacturers cut clothes to the images in the media. And it’s not simply what we see in media but how the world around us responds to that media.
In one study performed in Nicaragua, for example, a group of 80 men and women who lived in a small town that had little exposure to Western media were shown images of thin and “plus sized” (the term used by the researchers) models. The study determined that exposure to the images shifted the participants’ perception of ideal female body size. The women internalized it, but the men also had their views skewed by the imagery. Feeling judged based on impossible standards only exacerbates the problem.
Writer Roxane Gay has long been a vocal opponent of fat shaming, all while sharing her own body image struggles with the world in frank and poignant essays. In her recent New York Times best seller, Hunger, Gay wrote, “This is what most girls are taught—that we should be slender and small. We should not take up space. We should be seen and not heard, and if we are seen, we should be pleasing to men, acceptable to society. And most women know this, that we are supposed to disappear, but it’s something that needs to be said, loudly, over and over again, so that we can resist surrendering to what is expected of us.”
Bucking those expectations is not easy. And yet, for all the bad news, for all the statistics, there are the success stories. There are the people who love their bodies or at least accept them. There are the people who have struggled and have come out on the other side. So what’s the difference between them and people who tear themselves down?
It may come down to how our brains work, says Kimberly J. Ujcich Ward, PhD, a professor in the department of psychology at Middle Tennessee State University who specializes in body image and children.
“Research with individuals with anorexia and bulimia suggests that certain brain areas seem to be negatively impacted in those who inaccurately perceive their bodies and/or are dissatisfied, especially the parietal lobe (somatosensory cortex),” Ward explains. “Recent research across medicine and psychology (especially neuropsychology) [has] been working to try to more clearly define the brain–behavior relations and to evaluate the neuropsychological and body image connections over time.”
Other risk factors for body image concerns include biological ties to someone who has struggled with mental illness, especially an eating disorder, and living with conditions that are diet controlled, such as diabetes. A parent’s difficult relationship with their own body image—particularly a mother’s—can also heighten your risk, especially if they are vocal about it in your presence.
Your risk of developing an eating disorder also jumps if you identify as LGBTQ, have a history of dieting, have suffered from weight-related teasing or bullying, or struggle with an anxiety disorder.

Positive or Negative?

The facts and figures sound daunting, but body image can and does go either way. There are hundreds of thousands of women (and men) out there who love their bodies.
Nor is every single bad thought about yourself proof that you’re doomed. Simply feeling like you don’t look good in a v-neck shirt at the mall is not a sign you’re going to have an eating disorder. Nor is it symbolic of “negative body image.”
“Negative body image is a distorted perception of your shape—you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are,” NEDA’s Smolar explains. “This can mean you are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure, you may feel ashamed, self-conscious, or anxious about your body, and you feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.”
Positive body image, on the other hand, is what Smolar calls a “clear, true perception” of your shape.
“You see the various parts of your body as they really are,” she notes. “In addition, you celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person’s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
“You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and do not spend large amounts of time worrying about food, weight, and calories and you feel comfortable and confident in your body.”
Clinicians tend to speak of the two sides of the coin in terms of satisfaction. There’s body satisfaction and there’s body dissatisfaction. Treating the latter means helping someone find their way toward the former. But as with anything else, there are degrees.
“It’s really important to note that even people with an overall positive body image can have plenty of critical thoughts or negative feelings about their bodies,” Solomon points out. “What’s more important is how much those thoughts and feelings take a front seat.”

Is there a better way for us?

It’s the push for overall positive body image that’s led to the body positivity movement, a grassroots effort that’s been gaining steam on the internet in recent years.
Linked to the fat acceptance movement, the trend dates back to the 1990s, but it’s social media that’s amplified voices from people who were long ignored by traditional media, people who don’t fit into the ideals once favored by mainstream magazines.
Instagram is now home to hashtags such as #LoveYourBody and #EffYourBeautyStandards. Bring them up on your phone, and you’ll find not dozens or even thousands but millions of images from people working out, showing off bodies in a variety of sizes and colors, and proudly proclaiming their confidence. Alongside them are photo sites like the 4th Trimester Bodies Project that allow women to celebrate their changing bodies in the wake of pregnancy.
Simply looking to them may be a way to find our own sense of peace with our bodies, Solomon says.
“We can learn some wonderful things from people who have a good relationship with their bodies,” she explains. “Our research has started to pay more attention to these people in recent years to determine just what we can learn. People that have a positive body image tend to see their bodies as functional—they help serve a purpose and a greater good. They tend to treat their bodies well by fueling them with regular meals and water, getting enough sleep, and moving regularly. They are grateful for the gifts that their bodies give them, like carrying a child or running a race.”
Another key facet of body positivity comes in embracing change. People who have high rates of body satisfaction tend to recognize that their bodies will change, be it over time or through different experiences. They accept it and often embrace it.
That is important, Solomon says.
“Body acceptance doesn’t mean loving every nook and cranny of our bodies or always feeling happy with the way that we look,” she points out. “It means deciding that you will stop fighting against yourself and actively commit to treating your body well.”
Solomon calls it body peace—making a truce with your own body and accepting the status quo.
“We don’t have to like each other, but we have to co-exist and show respect!” she says. “Body peace starts with some important basics—dropping the punishment and nourishing your body well. For me, just getting enough rest is an important way that I cultivate body peace. Practicing gratitude can also be an opportunity to build a stronger awareness of all that your body allows you to do.”
Author Lindy West is known for fighting the internet’s body shaming and calling out the concept of the perfect body as a lie. Coming to love her body, however, is not a perfect process either.
As she put it in her memoir, Shrill, “I hate being fat. I hate the way people look at me, or don’t. I hate being a joke; I hate the disorienting limbo between too visible and invisible; I hate the way that complete strangers waste my life out of supposed concern for my death. I hate knowing that if I did die of a condition that correlates with weight, a certain subset of people would feel their prejudices validated, and some would outright celebrate. I also love being fat. The breadth of my shoulders makes me feel safe. I am unassailable. I intimidate. I am a polar icebreaker. I walk and climb and lift things, I can open your jar, I can absorb blows—literal and metaphorical—meant for other women, smaller women, breakable women, women who need me. My bones feel like iron—heavy, but strong.”
There’s no magic pill to get us to that point. But Solomon likes to say that our bodies are vehicles for our values.
“How can we show kindness to them so that we can do the things we love and be the people we want to be?” she asks. “It can be easy to fall into the trap of believing that we’ll love and appreciate our bodies a few less pounds from now, or if we were a few inches taller, or if that skin cream works a little harder. I see my patients fall prey to a lot of the industries that profit off of all us hating our bodies and selves. It’s hard not to, especially when they invest billions in convincing us that we are not quite good enough. But we are good enough, even without any special creams or diet foods.”

What if I don’t love my body?

Okay. So loving your body is good, even when you can’t do it all the time. But if you’re not there yet, that doesn’t mean you need to feel left out in the cold.
“Being an advocate of positive body image doesn’t always mean loving your body 100 percent of the time,” Solomon says.
Instead, it means creating an environment in which all body types are embraced and valued. To that end, she advises people to:

Stay away from discussions that talk about food or weight in a negative light, such as avoiding discussions of food as “bad” or “good”
Refrain from talking about calories
Not comment on weight loss or gain for yourself or others
Engage in “media literacy,” thinking critically about the appearance-related media messages you see, hear, and read

Finally, don’t buy into the hype that a “perfect” body type will solve your problems.
“Everyone is different, and genetics can influence one’s body shape, weight, and size,” Solomon says. “One’s ideal body weight is the weight that allows you to feel strong and energetic rather than the size the media thinks is acceptable. If someone is struggling with their body image in a society that promotes an unattainable ideal, we encourage them to celebrate all the good things their body allows them to do and recognize that their self-esteem and identity comes from within.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with body image or an eating disorder, there is help available. Please call the National Eating Disorders Association’s toll-free hotline: 1-800-931-2237.

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Wisdom From Women: The Best Advice For Every Decade

Post author By Jeanne Sager
Post date December 1, 2017

Hitting the 30-year mark was surprisingly inauspicious for me. There was no lightning bolt from the sky that offered up all the wisdom that I’d been lacking in my 20s. There wasn’t even a discount at the grocery store checkout.
It’s only been as I’ve marched onward into the fourth decade (yes, do the math) of my life that I’ve started to gain any sense of what I should have done back when I was 20 or 21.
Wisdom takes time.
Fortunately for us, the world is full of people who’ve had more time than we have to figure life out.
When you hit adulthood, you quickly learn that age melts away. Friendships with women who are 10, 20, 30, or even 40 (plus) years older than you become as natural as it once was to wrinkle up your nose and declare, “Thirty? That’s so ooooooold.”
And with those friendships comes the ability to learn. To learn from mistakes. To learn from experiences.
With three and a half decades down and plenty of learning left to do, I turned to some wise women who have a few years on me and asked a simple question: What do you wish you’d known in your 20s and 30s that women like me can learn from?
Here what they shared.

Your Career

Struggling with work–life balance and thinking you need to throw in the towel? It’s okay. You can do this.
“I’m 53, and if I could have 10 seconds of hindsight things would/could have been so much different,” says Faith Metzinger. “Someone my age didn’t necessarily have the means to pursue a career that they may have wanted. I would tell my younger me that she should pursue those dreams. It is possible to be a great wife, mom, and have a profession or career you love.”
When you’re succeeding, don’t forget to celebrate, says 51-year-old Jill Robbins.
“There’s a difference between tooting your own horn and being an obnoxious a***ole bragger,” the Texas-based writer says. “It’s totally okay to be proud of your accomplishments and let others know you are proud of your accomplishments. Own your success and your happiness.”

Your Family

There’s an old quote from Leo Tolstoy that often gets pulled out by people struggling with family drama: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
If you’re trying to make your unhappy family fit the happy family mold, Zippy Sandler’s advice? Stop.
“You can’t change someone else,” 63-year-old Sandler says, “not your significant other/your child/your family/your friends. You can only change yourself and your reactions to them.”
Got an email box that’s crowded with baby shower invites taunting you about your child-free state? Wondering if you need to dive in because, “hey, everyone else is having babies,” but you’re not really sure?
Potter and florist Jill Weiner, 56, is matter-of-fact: “Having children is not mandatory. Be who you are. Conformity is not an option!”
If you do decide to have kids, on the other hand, take a page out of Patti Roche’s book.
“Don’t compare yourself to others or your children with anyone else’s children,” the 52-year-old elementary school teacher and mom of two says. “This was the one thing that made my life stressful and wasn’t good for my kids. I let others make judgments about my kids (including teachers), and I listened to them. It caused my kids pain and unnecessary “diagnosing” from other people who didn’t know more than me.”

Your Body

There’s a strength that’s expected in society. We cannot be frail. We must be fierce. But sometimes we need to give ourselves a break, Roche says.
“Feel what you feel with no reservations,” she advises. “I didn’t realize how important it is to allow yourself to be emotional. My mom passed away last year and my dad is lamenting all the unspoken and mysterious ways my mom dealt with all the rough patches in her life. Allow people to see your feelings, but also be okay with whatever a situation makes you feel.”
Body image is nothing if not complicated for millions of people. If she had her 20s and 30s to do over again, Roche says she’d tell herself, “Don’t constantly judge your looks or how you handle life. No one has it all together, so relax. Have a piece of cake and enjoy. Stay healthy but not with sacrifices that make you cranky!”
Weiner’s advice? “One piece of cheesecake will do—no need to eat the entire cake!”

Your Voice

There’s one word Robbins wishes she’d said more in her 20s and 30s.
“It’s okay to say ‘no,’” the Texas writer says. “It sounds like such basic advice (and it is) but I found ‘no’ harder to say when I was a younger woman. Whether that’s ‘no’ because someone is touching you, asking you out for coffee, asking you to put more things on your plate, to do more, connect them to someone, whatever it may be. It’s okay to say ‘no’ and not be a b***h about it or feel compelled to give an explanation as to why. Just ‘no.’ Learning to say ‘no’ is freeing and it’s something I don’t think I mastered until I was in my late 40s.”
And while you’re at it, participate, Weiner says.
“Roll up your sleeves and volunteer. Make a damn difference. There are wrongs that need righting all around us all the time, and we have a responsibility to act up for the best interest of our neighbors—be they next door or halfway around the planet.”
A final piece of advice from Sandler? Don’t forget to enjoy the ride.
“There is no happy ending, and thinking that all of the rewards come at the end means that you’ll miss the BEST part of life…the journey.”

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Practice Makes Perfect: The Keys To Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

Post author By Katie Martin
Post date November 29, 2017

I was voted “Most Likely To Succeed” in high school, and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
I felt like I was never succeeding.
When I graduated from college with no job prospects and had to live with my parents, I felt like a failure.
After graduate school, I had to take three jobs to make ends meet.
Again, I felt like a failure.
Even after I found a great job by some arbitrary standard set in high school, I always put so much pressure on myself to be successful that I often ended up being afraid to take risks and beating myself up for situations that were beyond my control. In my own mind, I was a failure. In reality, I was doing pretty well. I was my own worst enemy.
Sound familiar?
Self-talk is your inner voice. For a lot of women, that inner voice is hyper-critical, making us question our own sense of self-worth in the process.
“We are often sabotaging our own sense of peace by dwelling on possible negative outcomes,” says Amanda Johnson, a licensed therapist at the Crossnore School and Children’s Home in North Carolina. “Negative self-talk can impact health in lots of ways, including increased stress, muscle tension, headaches, trouble sleeping, and poor eating habits. Many of these issues can lead to more serious, long-term health problems. It can also lead to unhealthy lifestyle choices, like substance use or becoming involved in abusive or negative relationships.”

Stop beating yourself up.

The first step to ending negative self-talk once and for all is to recognize it as a pattern of behavior and be aware of negative thoughts that are unhelpful or hurtful.
There are some ways you can can keep negative self-talk at bay. Johnson recommends keeping a journal, as writing down thoughts can often help you recognize behavior patterns of which you may not have been aware.
“Another helpful exercise to build positive thinking is to spend time each day focusing on things you are grateful for. This could be keeping a gratitude journal or taking steps to show gratitude to someone directly,” Johnson tells HealthyWay.

But what if something bad really does happen?

We all have bad days. When we mess up, it can be especially hard to dismiss negative self-talk.
When we’re not in control, overthinking situations that we don’t know the outcome of gives us the illusion of having some control over what happens. We rationalize this by telling ourselves that we are more prepared if we assume the worst-case scenario.
It’s easy to get stuck in the cycle of negativity and self-doubt, but instead of allowing those thoughts to take over, take a deep breath and look at the problem you’re stressing over.
“Take a moment to examine your thoughts about the situation closely using a series of questions,” Johnson advises. “Is your thought accurate? What evidence do you have to back it up? Is there another possible explanation or outcome? Try to use the answers to these questions to reverse your thought or at least begin to shift it to a more positive direction.”
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Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

Super Simple Tricks That Will Make You Instantly Happier (And Give Your Brain A Boost)

Post author By Kelly Burch
Post date November 28, 2017

It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but for many people the holidays can be full of stress. Between the pressure to meet expectations, the shorter, darker days, and colder weather, it can sometimes be hard to feel happy this time of year.
Still, finding ways to be happy is important. It’s no secret that experiencing happiness makes us feel better overall. However, there are also scientifically proven benefits to feeling joy.
Happiness has been linked to better overall health and can even give you an immune boost that helps keep the common cold at bay (and that’s something to be happy about this time of year).
Fortunately, boosting your happiness doesn’t have to be an elusive pursuit. There are quick and easy ways that you can increase your happiness during the day whether you are at work, home, or school.
The next time you’re feeling a little down, give these moves a try. You’re sure to be smiling before long.

Put on your favorite song.

Everyone loves bopping around to their favorite song, and it’s not just because music is associated with good times and celebration. Listening to music has been scientifically shown to release dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter that is also released when we are in love. When you put on your favorite song, your brain can’t help but release chemicals that make you feel better.
If you’re feeling down, take five minutes to listen to music. If you can move around and sing along that’s great, but if you’re in the office or somewhere else that requires subtlely just pop in your headphones and get an instant boost of happiness.

Take a deep breath.

Your mom’s advice from when you were little still holds true today. If you’re feeling flustered or overwhelmed (which detracts from your happiness), take a deep breath. Harvard studies have shown that taking a deep breath can lower your stress, which is a great way to boost happiness. For a quick pick-me-up, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, drawing the breath deep into your belly. For an added benefit, close your eyes and think of something you’re thankful for with each breath.

Call a friend (or even just think about them).

There’s lot’s of research that shows that having friendships is good for overall health, particularly as we age. Some studies also show that the actual support of our friends isn’t as important to our well-being as the feeling that we can count on our friends to be there if we need them.
If you need a boost, call a friend to say “hi,” but make sure not to fall into the trap of complaining about whatever is stressing you out. Instead, take a moment to tell them a highlight of your day or to say that you appreciate them.
There are many other ways to boost your happiness, from doing yoga poses or jumping jacks to get your blood moving to writing down things that you are grateful for.
Instead of scrolling through Facebook or checking the news the next time you’re feeling sad or stressed, take a moment to interrupt those feelings by giving yourself a boost of joy. It’s the ultimate self-care this season.

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It Turns Out That Doing Good For Others Also Does Good Things For Your Mental Health

Post author By Jeanne Sager
Post date November 27, 2017

So, the holidays are driving at us with the speed of the Polar Express, and suddenly you feel like you should be doing a little volunteer work. There are toy drives to be run and carrots to be peeled at the community center Thanksgiving dinner, and it’s all for a good cause, so you had better be out there helping, right?
Of course, when we show up at any volunteer event to lend a hand, we have the best intentions in mind: helping others. But if you’re feeling the urge to give back this season, it’s okay to admit to yourself that you might also be looking for a little pick-me-up.
It turns out volunteering doesn’t just help others. It can boost our own mental health in countless ways. And that’s a good thing!

Dumping Depression

Rates of depression tend to skyrocket around the holidays, with a chunk of the country facing less sunlight (and an increased risk of seasonal affective disorder) and the stress that comes with finances, family, and all that cooking.
If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed, it might be worth swinging a hammer for Habitat for Humanity or lending a hand at your local food bank. Studies have shown that charitable efforts give us purpose when we’re feeling lost, and that can actually help us in a battle against depression. Helping others feel better literally makes us feel better!

Major Mood Boost

You don’t have to be facing full-blown depression to need a little good juju in your life. Sometimes the benefits of lending a hand come in the form of a simple mood boost.
In one study, more than three-quarters of respondents said that volunteering made them feel better and even reported it helped reduce their stress levels. There’s no shame in taking a little satisfaction in knowing you’ve done something kind for someone else.

Loneliness? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Feeling isolated? When you’re trying to keep up with work and home, friends can (and too often do) fall by the wayside. A quick chat in a Facebook thread is great, but it doesn’t quite make up for those in-person gossip sessions with a girlfriend.
That’s where a trip to the library to shelve books or an afternoon at the animal shelter walking the dogs could help fight your lonely feelings. Volunteering has long been shown to help people combat their isolation—at least when you pursue charitable acts that involve other people. It tends to put us in contact with new faces, and the grassroots needs of non-profits make working together a must.
You can get the best of both worlds by inviting your BFF to volunteer with you—time to give back and time to gab!

Go where you’re needed.

There are dozens of charities that could always use an extra hand around the holidays, from the churches throwing holiday meals for the community to the organizations putting together toy drives for families who could use a little help playing Santa.
But there are also dozens more that could use a helper all year-round. The folks at VolunteerMatch have a free tool that will partner you with a charity that could use your skills, so you know you’re truly making good use of your time. Or you can simply look around your neighborhood with your own interests in mind.
Love dogs and cats? You can take advantage of the stress relief of spending time with animals while actually helping the critters at your nearby shelter become more adoptable.
Have a knack for art? Give yourself a little art therapy while volunteering to lead painting classes at your local senior center.
Whatever you choose, it’s okay to admit you’re taking something away from giving back.

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Happy (Healthy) Holidays: Here’s How To Stay In The Moment This Holiday Season

Post author By Kelly Burch
Post date November 26, 2017

The holidays are supposed to be the happiest time of the year. There’s a lot to celebrate in November and December, but for many people the stress starts in the lead-up to Thanksgiving and lasts until the new year. In fact, more than 60 percent of Americans report feeling stressed during the holidays. Travel, social obligations, and pressure to make everything just right can turn the holiday season from a dream come true into a nightmare.
Slowing down can help you break that pattern of stressing. Setting aside a moment to relax, take a deep breath, and remind yourself what the holidays are all about (giving, family, and celebrating your beliefs) can help you reconnect with the joy of the season. Here are simple ways to connect to your holiday spirit no matter how busy the season gets.

While Traveling

For many people travel is a huge source of holiday stress. Whether you are traveling far or making a day trip, flying or driving, on your own or with kids, traveling can sometimes be downright miserable. But here are ways to chip away at the stress.
First, leave early and give yourself plenty of time. There is bound to be extra traffic and longer lines this holiday season, and running late will just add to your stress levels. By giving yourself extra time to get to your destination you can let go of stress about delays. You can also build in breaks along the way for coffee or a quick stroll. This will leave you feeling more refreshed when you do reach your destination.
Another great trick is to bring entertainment. Music has been shown to release feel-good hormones that will give your mood a boost. Audiobooks are a great option that can make your travel time fly.

While Shopping

Shopping is an integral part of the holidays for many people, but it can also be super stressful. One way to avoid stress is to shop early and avoid peak times, whether you’re shopping for Thanksgiving dinner or heading to the mall for presents.
When you’re checking off your list of people to buy for, consider selecting a gift for a child or family in need. Many community centers, churches, and schools have so-called giving trees, where you can purchase for a specific child. Giving back this holiday season will leave you feeling great.

At Parties

Parties are par for the course during the holiday season, but they can take a toll on you physically and emotionally. One way to keep up with all the socializing is to skip the sweet snacks (or eat them in moderation) and instead opt for protein and a vegetable. This will help stabilize your blood sugar and prevent the crash that can come after eating too many simple carbohydrates.
Just because the holidays are supposed to be a fun time of year doesn’t mean that you can skimp on the self-care. In fact, it’s more important than ever. This holiday season remember that you are a human being—not a human doing—and take a moment to stop, relax, and breathe. Your holidays will be better for it!

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Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

What’s It Like To Float In A Sensory Deprivation Tank? And Does Science Say You Should?

Post author By Kelly Burch
Post date November 21, 2017

You get out of bed each day with your to-do list already running through your head. You drive to work in traffic, feeling overwhelmed by the number of people and amount of noise surrounding you. You help your boss, your kids, or your spouse get what they need, knowing all the while that they’ll be calling your name again before long. How often have you wished for just a few minutes to close your eyes and escape it all?
Women are busier than ever, balancing home, careers, and self-care in a way that can feel never ending. We are constantly bouncing from one activity to the next, and even our self-care activities, like the gym or hot yoga, can be rather intense for both our bodies and our minds.
Enter a new modality of self-care: the sensory deprivation tank. Now, sensory deprivation might sound scary and tanks can effortlessly conjure up the stuff of science fiction, but the truth is that sensory deprivation tanks provide the ideal environment for deeply relaxing experiences. You float in warm water that is salty enough to keep you effortlessly afloat. You can’t see or hear anything, and even your sense of touch is nullified as the water is heated to the same temperature as your body. Without the constant input from your senses, you have a chance to truly relax.
The idea of floating in a tank may sound a bit new age, but experts and users say that sensory deprivation and floating have real benefits.
If you’re like us, once you know everything about floating in a sensory deprivation tank—from what to expect during the experience to how you will feel after—you just might find yourself adding some float sessions to your holiday wish list.

What are sensory deprivation tanks?

When you hear the term sensory deprivation tank, you might envision military-looking pods or other scary situations. However, today’s tanks are much more welcoming than that. Many float tanks are found at spas or other health and wellness centers, where they are promoted as an important part of a self-care routine—just like visiting the sauna or getting a massage.
When you enter the tank, you’ll wind up sitting down like you would in a bath tub, then relaxing to float in the water, which will be about the same temperature as your skin. The water in the tanks is generally shallow—about 10 inches deep—but is filled with somewhere around 800 pounds of salt, which keeps you effortlessly floating near the surface even if you happen to fall asleep.
Once you’re floating in the warm, shallow water, you’ll be able to turn off the lights, which allows you to become fully immersed in a warm, dark, quiet space unlike anything that’s available to you in the day-to-day. If you’re not quite ready for the full experience, know that it’s often up to you to switch off the lights, and you may even be able to opt for music so you can ease into the idea of sensory deprivation.
There are three basic options for floating that are commonly available. One involves larger, heated open-air pools that fit one or two people. This is a great choice for someone who is concerned about claustrophobia since the pools aren’t covered, but are simply in a small room where there is little light or sound. However, since it’s harder to control light and sound in a larger space, these pools can’t guarantee the most comprehensive sensory deprivation experience.
Another option is a float room, where you have space to move around but are in an enclosed room that is about five feet by eight feet with an eight-foot-tall ceiling. Because the ceiling is high, you don’t need to worry about feeling completely closed in.
The final option is to go all out in a float tank or pod. These contraptions essentially look like large, covered bathtubs. Floaters have enough room to move around a bit and sit up, but once they close the hatch, they are entirely contained within the pod. This makes it easy to block out all noise and light, which could be exactly what you need—or more than a little overwhelming depending on how you relate to space.
Whether you opt for an open-air pool, a room, or a pod, most floats last for an hour, although different providers offer longer and shorter experiences. Some centers even offer special overnight floats that can last up to seven hours!

Where did the idea come from?

The benefits of sensory deprivation tanks were first introduced in the ‘50s by neuroscientist John Lilly. Lilly was interested in the idea of human consciousness and how people would react if they were deprived of input from their senses. To find out, he developed tanks that were a bit scary looking. When people entered them, they would wear masks that pumped in air for them to breathe while entirely blocking any light from reaching their eyes.
Lilly would have people spend time in the tanks and later write notes on what they experienced. During his own time in the tanks, Lilly reported experiencing interactions with other-worldly beings, perhaps spurred by his use of the tank in conjunction with the hallucinogenic drug lysergic acid diethylamide—also known as LSD.
Drugs aside, Lilly believed that the tanks provided a way for people to connect with themselves and tap into their inner consciousness.
“All the average person has to do is to get into the tank in the darkness and silence and float around until he realizes he is programming everything that is happening inside his head. You are free of the physical world at that point and anything can happen inside your head because everything is governed by the laws of thought rather than the laws of the external world. So you can go to the limits of your conceptions,” Lilly wrote of the experience.

What are the health benefits of floating in a tank?

Float tanks and the idea of sensory deprivation have come a long way since Lilly’s experiments. However, floating is still recognized as a way to escape from the day-to-day and benefit from deep relaxation, both during the float session and afterward. In fact, experts says that there are physical, psychological, and spiritual benefits to spending time floating in a sensory deprivation tank.
“What the float tank does is it resets the neuroendocrine system, the connection between the brain and the hormones,” says Dan Engle, MD, who is board certified in psychiatry and neurology and has written about the benefits of sensory deprivation tanks.
Engle explains that in our fast-paced lives we are constantly in fight or flight mode. This is because the constant stress that we are exposed to activates our sympathetic nervous system, which is associated with our natural responses to perceived threats. When our sympathetic nervous system is activated, we are likely to have a raised heart rate, higher blood pressure, and other physical indicators of stress. Throughout human history, activation of the sympathetic nervous system would have happened relatively rarely, but today it happens almost all the time.
“In our fast-paced culture, stress is in our lives almost constantly,” Engle says. “That stress causes chronic illness.”
One way to combat the activation of the sympathetic nervous system is to engage in deep relaxation. Being deeply relaxed is the opposite of being in fight or flight mode. Because of this, relaxation calms the sympathetic nervous system and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which slows heart rate, lowers blood pressure, and resets the vagus nerve, which controls the heart, lungs, and digestive tract.
Floating in a tank is a great way to achieve this switch.
“In the tank, we switch from sympathetic tone to parasympathetic tone,” Engle says.
Engle estimates that about 80 percent of the stimuli our brain is normally exposed to is eliminated in the tank. Because of this, floating takes a huge amount of pressure off a person’s brain and frees them to connect with their inner thoughts.
“In the midst of that, there’s the invitation to go within to connect with the breath, find center, and discover your own way to navigate whatever the environment may be outside the tank,” he says.
Scientific studies support this. One study found that among healthy adults, stress, depression, anxiety, and pain were “significantly decreased” and overall optimism and sleep quality “significantly increased” after a series of floats.
The scientific benefits of meditation and mindfulness when it comes to reducing stress and improving wellbeing have been well documented, and Engle says that those findings can be applied to floating in a sensory deprivation tank as well.
“A flotation is meditation on steroids,” he says.
He says most people who try floating, including those who have tried meditation but not enjoyed it, will see a big difference in their daily lives after floating, including feeling more calm and sleeping better.
“People who can’t meditate end up really liking the tank for the impact on their lives afterward,” he says.

Can you float away your pain?

Physical benefits that occur when your body switches from the sympathetic mode to parasympathetic mode include reduced blood pressure and lower heart rates. However, that’s just the beginning of the physical benefits of floating.
Many people say that floating helps control their pain, and studies have shown that floating in a sensory deprivation tank can improve pain levels for people living with fibromyalgia and other conditions that cause chronic pain.
Engle says this occurs because the environment in the tank mimics zero-gravity, taking all of the pressure off the muscles. In addition to that, by putting the nervous system into its parasympathetic mode, floating can help facilitate healing of the condition in addition to relieving pain, he says.
“A float calms the nervous system, helping do what pharmaceuticals are trying to do, and it’s healing the nervous system at the core versus putting a band-aid over it,” he says.
Jacqueline Lucero, owner of Revival Float & Wellness in Grass Valley, California, says that many of her clients report lower amounts of pain after their floats.
“The main benefits reported to us are a decrease in stress and anxiety, an increase in overall relaxation, and a significant amount of pain management,” she says. In fact, many chiropractors and physical therapists send their clients to float, and doctors will occasionally send in pregnant women who are feeling lots of aches and pains. The pain relief can last for days after a float session.
“Many people report the effects of the float lasting several hours or even days following their float,” Lucero says.

What will the experience of floating be like?

Wes Anderson, a Grass Valley, California, resident who works in media relations, floats regularly at Revival Float & Wellness. He tells HealthyWay he had heard about the benefits of sensory deprivation tanks, but was a bit apprehensive about trying it for himself.
“I had no idea what I wanted from the tank,” he says. “I struggle with anxiety, so I was hoping that I would actually float, that I would have my senses deafened or completely deprived, and that I would enjoy it.”
Now he has been floating regularly for about a year. He says that after a session in the tank he is calm and relaxed.
“Mentally it makes me happy. I just have a smirk for hours after. I feel centered. I move slower,” he says.
Anderson describes the experience of being in the tank like drifting off to sleep.
“For me, it’s similar to when you accidentally fall asleep in the sun during a warm afternoon when you didn’t plan to,” he says. “Or when the TV might be on and you’re struggling to stay awake and then out of nowhere it’s two hours later. Physically it is similar to a massage without the release of knots, but that same relaxation and reprieve from life stress.”
When you visit a spa or wellness center for a sensory deprivation float, you will likely be led to a private area near the tank where you can change (it’s your choice whether to float in a swimsuit or naked). You then get into the pool or pod, which is regularly cleaned using a high-tech water filtration system.
Many people worry about feeling claustrophobic while floating. If that’s a concern for you, choose a facility that has a pool or float room you can choose to float in rather than an enclosed pod. Engle says that it’s important to go with your comfort level, even if that means leaving the lights on or keeping the pod open initially. You’ll still get benefits, he says.
As for how often to float, experts including Engle tell HealthyWay the benefits of floating increase the more often you do it. Engle recommends starting with 10 sessions spread over three weeks. After that, he recommends slowly tapering down to floating about once a month.
We can all use a little extra relaxation—whether it’s physical or emotional—and tuning into ourselves while floating might inspire new insights that will give us the motivation we need to pursue our goals when we step out, dry off, and get moving again, so why not give it a try?
See what HealthyWay thought of the experience in the video below:

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How To Be Happy: Psychologist-Approved Ways To Achieve (And Maintain) Your Bliss

Post author By Joni Sweet
Post date November 14, 2017

The pursuit of happiness is a core part of life. It’s what humans have chased for thousands of years, attempting to find it through relationships, experiences, and even material goods. But despite how much you try to have a positive outlook, you might find yourself in a rut at some point. Work feels like an uphill battle, you struggle to connect with your partner and friends, and the activities you once loved just don’t bring joy anymore. It’s like you’re waking up on the wrong side of the bed every day. What gives?
“Depression is like glasses you wear on your brain,” says Acacia Parks, PhD, chief scientist at Happify—a company that aims to make positive psychology both accessible and interactive. “You see whatever is happening to you through a filter that makes everything look bad.”
Stanford University’s Neurodevelopment, Affect, and Psychopathology Laboratory provides a straightforward resource on depression that distinguishes various clinically diagnosed forms of depression from the feelings of sadness we commonly refer to as “depression,” which is an important differentiation to keep in mind when considering happiness and mental health.
Everyone feels down at times, and while some depressive symptoms point to a need for clinical intervention, Parks, who has spent years researching the psychology of happiness, says that feeling amazing all the time just isn’t realistic. Negative and positive emotions each play an important role in being human. The good news is that there are scientifically supported techniques that can help you figure out how to be happy.
Here are some ways you can shift to a more cheerful, healthful, and sustainable mindset:

Let the facts reveal the truth.

Depression can trigger deep feelings of loneliness. It can be so overwhelming that you end up feeling isolated from your closest companions, even when they try to help. But it’s important to remember that you are not alone: One in every six adults will experience depression at least once in their life according to the Centers for Disease Control. Women especially need to focus on how to be happy, as they tend to suffer from higher rates of depression than men. In fact, overall, only 33 percent of Americans say they are very happy and the fact is that everyone experiences unhappiness sometimes.
“You might look at your circumstances and feel you have no one to connect with,” says Parks. “But once you overcome that, you can look at the exact same circumstances with a different filter.”
One way to rekindle social connections and experience a surge of happiness is by writing a gratitude letter, says Parks. Think about a person you feel grateful for, such as a friend or relative. Then, write a letter describing why you’re glad they’re part of your life. Use specific examples of their behavior and how it has enriched your life.
“You can stop there,” says Parks. “But if you want the full effect, read your letter to the person.”
It’s an intense experience, but you’ll feel better immediately. It’s also a powerful reminder that you’re not alone.
“You’ll become closer to them. The gratitude letter will help you build more social resources if you don’t have a lot of positive emotions,” she says.

Be your own mirror.

It’s all too easy to blame your lack of happiness on a set of circumstances. Maybe you missed out on a big promotion at work or you were ghosted by someone you really liked on a dating app. Those situations, of course, will make you feel sad, but they don’t necessarily cause depression.
Parks suggests that a shift in perspective may be an essential part of making space in your life for happiness. For example, don’t think of a setback in your career as a sign that you’re not good at your job or a valuable contributor to society—try to see it as a challenge that you can overcome, and look for areas of improvement. Consider taking a class to improve your skills, finding a mentor, or volunteering in your field to build your experience and confidence.
Baby steps will help you not only feel better on a day-to-day basis, but also support your success in the long run.
“Certain people take problem-solving approaches and look at situations as threats, whereas others see them as challenges,” says Parks.
Take a look at what’s within your control—then take action.

Observe the art of the ritual.

Humans tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive. From an evolutionary standpoint, it’s actually a good thing for our species.
“Generations ago, all the people who didn’t pay attention to negative things got eaten by tigers. But the memories of bad things can drown out the memories of good things, and that’s really bad for us if we let it happen,” says Parks. “The biggest thing about how to be happy is looking at where you direct your attention.”
No matter how bad your day goes, something good probably happened (whether or not you acknowledged it). So how do you zoom in on it? Parks recommends a nightly ritual where you jot down three positive things from your day.
“It sounds easy, but it can be a challenge when you start out. It eventually gets easier because you’ll get better at noticing things as they happen during the day, and you think to yourself, ‘I need to remember to write this down later.’ Before you know it, you achieve a better balance of positivity and negativity,” says Parks.
Rituals like this will play a big role in your journey toward experiencing more happiness and appreciation. They give you something to rely on for comfort, no matter how your day goes.
“Make sure when something good happens, it gets the attention it deserves,” she says.

Fuel your well-being.

When you’re feeling unhappy, the last thing you feel like doing getting off the couch and hitting the gym. However, a recent study of more than 10,000 people revealed that those who moved around frequently throughout the day—even if they didn’t engage in any rigorous exercise—experienced higher levels of happiness. Even a brief walk or stretch can help get mood-boosting endorphins pumping through your body.
Physical activity isn’t the only fuel our bodies need to be happy, though. Our diet impacts how we feel from head to toe. A recent study found that people who switched to a modified Mediterranean diet (which focuses on eating lots of whole grains, fresh produce, and lean proteins while reducing consumption of sweets and processed food) experienced significant improvements in their moods. So put down the Ben & Jerry’s and dig into a colorful, intentionally prepared plate or bowl of fresh, well-balanced food instead.
Another important element of how finding and maintaining happiness is not overindulging when it comes to treating yourself. Shopping sprees, binge-watching TV, and eating a box of cookies might feel okay in the moment, but the positivity is fast fleeting, and you won’t find the satisfaction you’re really looking for. Instead, try to nourish your soul by doing something more meaningful.
“Research finds that we want to do nice things for ourselves when we’re down, but if you actually do nice things for other people, you’ll feel way better,” says Parks. “Doing nice things for other people—community service and volunteering—reliably lead[s] to people feeling better.”
Even something that seems small, like helping someone load their groceries into their car or giving your spare change to someone in need, can amp up your happiness.

Know what to savor.

Maximizing your happiness isn’t always about hitting major life milestones (although that certainly doesn’t hurt!). Bliss can be experienced in some of life’s smallest moments, like getting a whiff of your favorite perfume, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, snuggling with your pet, hearing your favorite song on the radio, or listening to children laugh at the playground on your way home from work. But how can you relish in the seemingly mundane occurrences of your daily routine?
“Savoring techniques will help you get the most of everything, from your meals to your walk from the car to the office. There are so many things out there that you can stop and deliberately savor,” says Parks.
Savoring involves intentionally appreciating the sensory details of an everyday experience. Take your morning coffee for example. You could just dump it in your travel mug and guzzle it down on your commute. But instead, try savoring it. Breathe in the nutty aroma as it brews. Pour the coffee into your favorite mug and feel it gently warm up your hands as you bring it to the table. Personalize it with perfect amount of cream and sugar. Then, take a sip and try to taste all the subtle flavors of the brew.
“Exercises like this will give bursts of happiness often enough to get you moving from negative thoughts on to something better,” says Parks.
Getting in the habit of finding authentic satisfaction throughout your day will help you learn how to be more satisfied with life in general. You won’t have to wait for something big to happen to feel joy.
“People who do this can learn how to experience gratitude, even when bad things are happening. Those moments are the building blocks of resilience to stress,” says Parks.

Choose you.

How many hours a day do you spend mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and other social media? It might seem harmless in the moment, but it could actually be impacting your overall happiness. It’s hard to feel content with your own life when you’re constantly barraged with posts of your friends’ romantic weddings, tropical vacations, graduations, career advancements, and happy families.
“People who are happy are not looking at other people and comparing themselves. But social media can foster social comparisons whether you mean to or not, and it’s antithetical to happiness,” says Parks.
Keep in mind that social media is a highlight reel—everyone is sharing the most picture-worthy moments of their lives, not their typical experiences. If social media is causing you to experience feelings of missing out, limit the amount of time you spend on those platforms. Chatting with your friends through email, text, phone or (better yet) in-person get-togethers gives everyone the opportunity to be more honest about their lives.
“Emails from friends are more nuanced. They’re more likely to talk about their problems, as well when they’re doing awesome,” says Parks.
Mindfulness meditation is another way to tune into yourself and discover what really matters. It helps alleviate feelings of anxiety by allowing you to acknowledge perceived threats (like the fear of always being unhappy) and put them into a more healthy perspective.
“Trying to change how you feel is like psychological quicksand. If you flail around, you will sink. But mindfulness meditation is a way to receive the message of what’s making you anxious and let your body know you’re handling it,” says Parks.
Interested in trying it? Consider signing up for a mindfulness-based stressed reduction program or exploring the mindfulness and meditation apps your phone puts at your fingertips. The exploration of possibilities can be exciting, while a continued practice will calm your mood and improve your outlook over time.

The Journey to Bliss

Believing you can’t be happy until everything, from your career to your love life, falls into place is a myth. The reality is that a happy life is not built on circumstances—it’s achieved through healthy habits, appreciation of meaningful moments, and seeing life through a generally positive lens, even when things aren’t going according to plan.
“You need positive and negative emotions to deal with everything in life. It’s not about getting rid of the negative emotions, but remembering the good things that happen. If you can then look at them side by side, the bad things have less power over your life,” says Parks.
Experiment with a variety of techniques to see what works for you. Meditation might not be your cup of tea, but creating a gratitude journal might be really effective for you. Regardless of which particular practices capture your attention and loyalty, make a few mindfulness exercises (from savoring a beautifully made salad to jotting a note of gratitude on a Post-it) part of your everyday life.
“Happiness involves sprinkling positivity throughout your day, allowing you to feel more expansive, connect with others, and plan for the future,” says Parks.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to how to be happy. But by engaging in self reflection, setting realistic expectations for your emotions, experiencing meaningful engagement with others, and treating your mind and body with care, you will get out of your own way and let genuine happiness enrich your entire life.
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How To Meditate: A Beginner’s Guide To Practicing Mindfulness

Post author By Lauren Bondi
Post date November 8, 2017

With meditation apps, retreats, and guru workshops on the rise, chances are you’re familiar with the idea of meditation. Ask any yoga instructor and you’ll learn that this isn’t a modern phenomenon. Meditation is actually an ancient practice, dating back to thousands of years B.C. In fact, many historians believe that meditation could have been practiced as early as 3000 B.C.
The earliest documented methods of meditation were elements of Vedantism, a school of Hindu philosophy that originated in India. Derived from Sanskrit, Vedanta refers to the Upanishads—ancient Hindu texts—to get at the “ultimate reality and the liberation of the soul.” Today, this feeling of liberation is still one of the most sought-after outcomes of meditation.
Throughout the following centuries, new forms of mediation were developed to emphasize Taoist and Buddhist practices. These have served as an integrated means of teaching ancient principles of moral salvation, contemplative concentration, and lasting freedom through a greater understanding of the world, and many of these schools of practice continue to do so to this day.
According to a history of meditation by scientific writer Susan Chow, PhD, and owner of Illuminate Science Communications, meditative practice spread significantly throughout China then to Japan when Japanese monk Dosho discovered Zen Buddhism during his travels. As time passed, meditation grew more and more popular, as many religions—including Judaism, Islam, and Christianity—adopted it into their practices. The 18th century marked the turning point during which the popularity of meditative and contemplative practices exploded in Western cultures. Today, studies show that nearly 1 in 10 Americans has meditated.
The term “meditate” was introduced in the 12th century A.D. by a Catholic monk and originates from a Latin word that means “to ponder,” according to Chow’s history. In today’s culture, however, meditation is most often associated with tuning out the external world and tuning into oneself. Meditation has come to refer to what the American Heart Association calls the “family of mental practices that are designed to improve concentration, increase awareness of the present moment, and familiarize a person with the nature of their own mind.”

Why should you meditate?

Those who commit to a meditative practice—whether it’s informed by Zen, mantras, yoga, prayer, or any of the diverse meditative traditions that exist today—have a few important lessons for the rest of the world. The benefits of meditation are as impactful as they are vast. With nearly two decades of comprehensive research to back them, the neural, cardiovascular, and metabolic effects of meditative practices have been well documented.
There are both acute and long-term neurophysiological changes associated with practicing ongoing meditation, according to a statement of the American Heart Association (AHA). Findings include increased electrical activation in the brain and dramatically increased gray-matter density in the part of the brain responsible for the autonomic nervous system and cardiorespiratory regulation.
What’s the cumulative significance of these kinds of changes? Well, as the areas of the brain are modified by meditation, so is their activity and functional connectivity—or more simply put, how well they communicate with one another. One study in particular found that the revision of pathways instigated by a month-long practice of gratitude meditation directly contributed to participants experiencing greater emotional well-being due to neuroanatomical improvements in emotion regulation and self-motivation. Positive changes in the autonomic nervous system and cardiorespiratory systems can contribute to better breathing and heart functioning, better overall health, and fewer debilitating experiences such as headaches and migraines.
The physiological benefits of meditation, which include cardiovascular disease risk reduction, further amplify its relevance and legitimacy. According to the AHA statement, meditation has a positive impact on blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and hypertension. In fact, individuals who were involved in a Transcendental Meditation study showed a 23 percent reduction in general mortality and a 30 percent reduction in cardiovascular mortality specifically.
In addition to these benefits to the body, it’s no surprise that the most commonly touted advantages of meditation pertain to its psychological impact. The AHA statement notes that published research has reported improvements in mood, anxiety, depression, sleep quality, and levels of stress associated with adherence to meditative practices. These outcomes are largely due to the marked changes in the body’s response to stress. The sought-after relaxation response realized by many during their meditative practice has been shown to reduce both inflammatory and cortisol-related processes. As a result, not only is stress balanced, but so are metabolism, mitochondrial function, and insulin secretion.
As meditators’ bodies approach internal homeostasis, it’s no surprise that this translates to improved balance in their external lives as well. As the body functions more smoothly in the now, meditators may also be preparing themselves to respond more healthfully to future stress. Individuals who exercise mindfulness are significantly better equipped to manage their expectations, moderate their emotions during stressful waiting periods, and mentally prepare themselves for unfavorable outcomes. This in turn contributes to enhanced resilience and can contribute to a more positive outlook on life.
According to Marcio Guzman, PsyD, co-owner of FLOAT STL, a center for sensory deprivation therapy in St. Louis, Missouri, “Meditation practitioners or those otherwise known as ‘slowing down’ practitioners can experience greater connection with the present moment during their sessions. They gradually become more aware of their emotions, which contributes to heightened emotional intelligence.”
This allows the individual to operate from a more authentic and peaceful place. In turn, he says this type of “shift in being creates opportunities for a remarkably different type of human interaction.” Guzman notes that it’s important to highlight that meditation practitioners still experience difficult emotions, stresses, insecurities, and fears and must cope with trials of adversity and interpersonal conflict. Even with the greatest set of tools, these feelings and obstacles are unavoidable simply due to the fact that they are uniquely woven into the human experience. However, with meditation, there is a newfound ability to “not get so stuck in and debilitated by the suffering,” according to Guzman. Instead, there is an understanding that although those emotions are entirely valid and worth feeling, they are never a life sentence.
Finding peace in the present allows an individual to reduce the amount of time spent mentally traveling between the past and future, which further helps them understand the impermanence of experiences.
It’s important to note that individuals experience the greatest changes when their meditative practice becomes a way of life, so get ready to tune in and bear witness to your transformation.

A Few Key Methods

Mindfulness is an umbrella term within the meditation and wellness worlds that’s used to characterize practices that relate to attention, awareness, memory, and acceptance and non-judgement. Although many of these practices first originated in ancient Buddhist and Hindu traditions, they’ve gained a great deal of recognition recently in American mindfulness-based stress reduction and similarly informed practices.
The concept of mindfulness is now commonplace in discourse on health, wellness, and larger social systems. Despite the fact that mindfulness has no “one universally accepted technical definition,” it can be understood as follows: Mindfulness is at play when one consciously attempts to attend to what’s happening both internally and externally and in the space one is moving through. This may sound like an oversimplification, but take a second to think about the millions of directions your thoughts are pulled in throughout any given day and what it means to really focus on our present state and the space you’re currently in.
Although it takes practice, as is the case for any form of meditation, mindfulness is the innate and basic ability to be fully present in the passing moment, aware of what you’re doing and accepting of what’s going on around you. This pillar of acceptance and non-judgment is related to the practice of non-attachment—a tenet that is espoused in almost all meditation traditions. Individuals witness and experience their thoughts and emotions while intentionally letting go of judgmental reactions. You can think of mindfulness as waiting on a platform, watching a “train” of thought whiz by. You don’t try to catch the train, stop it, or worry that you’re missing out on something as it passes. You observe it and the affects it has on you, then the thought train is gone so another one may come and go in its time.
One of the wonderful aspects of a mindfulness practice is its accessibility. Anyone can practice mindfulness during routine daily activities (sitting, walking, driving, eating, exercising, etc.) and doing so doesn’t require a class pass, studio space, or any equipment whatsoever. Mindfulness eventually transforms from a short activity into a way of living, but it always boils down to noticing. Just notice, friends.
Focused-attention meditation (FAM) is a good practice to venture into as you dive deeper into your meditative pursuits. FAM requires you to center your attention on one specific object or event, such as a candle flame or—as researchers point out in a study published in Frontiers in Psychology—your breathing. Because the breath is internal (and constant), the study points out that focusing on the breath is a good discipline for FAM beginners. To maintain this focus throughout the meditation, your concentration must be carefully monitored and consistently drawn back to your breath, the flickering flame, or whatever you’ve determined to focus on when the mind wanders. While other forms of meditation allow the individual to acknowledge fleeting thoughts or emotions, this practice requires a narrower, more structured focus.
Loving-kindness meditation (LKM) integrates certain elements of focused-attention practices, particularly in that it requires a steady focus on cultivating love and compassion. First and foremost, this is done for yourself. As you master this fundamental core of the practice, you’ll extend your thoughts of love and kindness toward others. One key aspect in this practice is sending love even to those we may deem “unlikable.” The aim is to replace all negative feelings and associations that rise up during this process with positive, compassionate ones. According to the Frontiers in Psychology study, LKM improves individuals’ conflict resolution. It can also help you cultivate a strong sense of empathy for yourself and the world at large.
Transcendental Meditation (TM) is quite different from the previous forms discussed, specifically due to the absence of heavily focused attention or careful monitoring. Instead, individuals take part in a process called automatic self-transcending (taught by a trained and certified teacher), through which they can experience quieter and more peaceful levels of thought. Some refer to this state as a restful alertness—a state of mind often described as pure consciousness. TM may be a more suitable practice for individuals with anxious thinking patterns, as there is no need to control or empty the mind. Instead, the individual, their thoughts, and the process of thinking all converge into a unified field of perception. In other words, individuals are in a “state of being aware simply of awareness itself.”

Let’s get started.

All you need to begin your meditation practice is dedicated time, a genuine willingness to learn, and a quiet location. Think of a place that gives you the most peace. Is it a cozy corner of your home with candlelight and burning incense? Or is it the worn bench tucked away in a grove of fall-painted trees at your local park? Where are you most comfortable? Decide, and choose this as your destination. It’s often best to begin your journey with seated meditations, as these allow you to close your eyes. Because meditation begins and ends in the body, it’s important to cultivate a deep sense of self-awareness. As you can imagine, closing your eyes will help you tune out distractions, tune in to your natural rhythms, and ground down in your practice.
If you’re particularly sensitive to sound or can’t ensure silence in your selected spot, consider headphones (some meditative practices incorporate music or you can opt for a noise-cancelling option) or earplugs.
What you’re sitting on matters less than your posture. Make sure that you have a stable seat and your back is upright (or, if you need to lie down, aligned and lengthened depending on the position you assume). For some, a meditation cushion may be perfectly comfortable. If you have back problems, find a sturdy chair or bench to sit on. If you have the ability to cross your legs, go ahead and do so. The seated lotus may eventually be your go-to yoga posture during future meditations.
Notice your trunk and begin to straighten the length of your back, but be careful not to hike up your shoulders. Instead, allow them to softly fall toward the back of your body and notice how your neck relaxes. Gently drop your hands to the top of your legs, without force. Finally, drop your chin just slightly and allow your gaze to fall in front of you at a 45-degree angle. At this point, you can close your eyes and mentally lean into the stillness.
Start to notice your breath. Count your inhalations and exhalations, feeling the sensations of each—mindful of the expansion and release that occurs rhythmically throughout your body. Your breath is your mind–body–spirit link, allowing you to fall into complete consciousness. What begins with ordinary breathing can lead to a higher awareness of what is both behind and beyond the breath; this paves the path to recognizing the presence of your own spirit and most authentic sense of self. Notice how your body begins to relax and your mind quiets as you find this space. Allow thoughts to come and go without judgement. Simply return to your breath—your sacred touchstone.
From here, you’re ready to begin your unique practice. Whether it’s FAM, LKM, or TM—whatever meditative approach you choose should truly be your own.

When to Meditate (and for How Long)

Some individuals prefer to meditate upon waking as they find it helps them start their day on the right foot. This can be instrumental in setting the tone for how everything else follows, good or bad. The feelings of peace and clarity from your morning meditation can carry over into your daily activities. Others, however, choose to meditate at night. It helps to calm their minds and releases them from the day’s burdens.
If you’re prone to nighttime contemplations and racing thoughts, practicing meditation before bed to clear your personal energy may be most beneficial. There is no right or wrong way, nor is there a right or wrong time. Perhaps you could use a little taste of both. Simply center your practice on compassion and use your newfound bodily awareness to determine when you may need meditation most.
If you’re working on your own to develop a practice, it may be easier to start with 5- to 10-minute sessions and gradually work up as you become familiar with your natural tendencies. Over time, this can increase to deeper and more centering 45- to 60-minute sessions.
If you have an instructor, as in the case of TM and certain other meditative practices, you’ll likely receive specific feedback to guide the amount of time you spend in your practice daily or weekly. Whether you’re flying solo or have a guide, throughout your journey, keep in mind that there’s no rush. Simply be.

Still hesitant? Here are some options that can help ease you into a meditative practice.

Not everyone can get cozy with the notion of stilling their mind and body to meditate on their own, but that doesn’t make meditative experiences inaccessible.
Guzman and his team at FLOAT STL, for example, have created a safe and comfortable place for both meditators and those who have never meditated before to experience the extensive benefits of slowing down. Using FLOAT’s state-of-the-art pods and tanks, individuals have the opportunity to spend 90 minutes resting in zero gravity, free from heavy environmental stimuli while soaking in 850 pounds of powerful Epsom salts. Guzman suggests this provides floaters an opportunity to learn the crucial difference between being and doing.
During a float, the line differentiating where an individual’s body ends and the water begins becomes unrecognizable. In this space, Guzman says, “the mind is free to mull things over without distraction, the brain pumps out dopamine and endorphins, and the body gets to rest, de-stress, and heal.” Guzman explains that “the nature of floating also allows a wider range of individuals to achieve a state of meditation. Ideally, the experience can inspire them to explore a deeper meditation practice and connect with themselves with an unparalleled level of awareness.”
Another more active form of meditation is walking meditation—a practice that might suit you if you aren’t ready to sit still but want to explore the benefits of mindfulness. University of California Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center (GGSC) recommends a practice that takes just 10 minutes a day. GGSC’s walking meditation guide is an excellent resource for beginners.
If being alone in complete silence with your thoughts makes you skittish, consider guided meditations. Spotify, Amazon Music, iTunes, Play Store, and the App Store make these options—which often include voiceovers and soothing music—readily accessible.
Books and soundtracks can provide excellent support for both beginners and those maturing into their meditative practices. Depending on the resource you choose, you’ll be introduced to breathing techniques, philosophical and spiritual approaches, and the mantras (chants and centering thoughts) and mudras (hand gestures that cue particular states of mind) that lend various meditative practices their auditory and aesthetic allure.
Now that you have the knowledge and guiding principles behind meditation, you’re ready to give it an honest try. Remember that everything improves with practice, even slowing down. Think of the myriad physical and emotional health benefits of meditation and identify a few of them that you truly want for yourself. These desires can serve as your motivating forces. Consider what style of meditation may suit you best in your current season of life, and trust your intuitive decision. Then jot a daily or weekly meditation session in your planner and bestow upon it as much importance as a grocery store run.
With this one act, you’re creating space in your life for self-care, and we all know how important that is, right? Your wellness is our priority. Trust us when we say it should be one of yours too.

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Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

Is Work–Life Balance A Myth? Or Does It Just Need A New Name?

Post author By Abigail Rasminsky
Post date November 6, 2017

Your alarm goes off at 6 a.m. You sleepily reach over to turn it off and can’t help but check your email. Just as you feared, there’s a work emergency waiting for you; it must have come in last night after you passed out in front of Stranger Things at 10 o’clock.
But there’s no time for it right now. You have no coffee in the apartment, your boyfriend is monopolizing the bathroom as usual, and text messages about your best friend’s upcoming bridal shower are already coming in, waiting for your response. Sometimes it feels like you’re always on.
Or maybe your daughter is standing by your bedside, screaming about breakfast. Did you forget to wash her soccer uniform? Do you have time to throw in a load of laundry and make her some toast and pack her lunch before returning to your email to deal with this problem?
The sun isn’t even up yet and you’re already stretched to your limit.
If any of this sounds familiar, you might be asking yourself if this is really what it means to have it all. Is this what work–life balance is supposed to look like?

The Problem

We are living in a time when women are expert jugglers: working, parenting, socializing, volunteering. We’re managing our teams at the office and our relationships at home. We’re working remotely—from cars, coffee shops, playgrounds, the subway, on vacation, late into the night, on our phones and iPads. We’re feeling pressure to be great friends, good partners, even better mothers, and ever-present and available employees. Our iPhones have become appendages.
As the generation of women who have benefited more than any other from freedoms borne out by the feminist movement, we are trying to have it all, all the time. No longer are our roles dictated by gender or convention—hooray! But why does it feel so hard, and at times, downright impossible?
The answer: Because “having it all” is a myth—and so is balance. “Balance is elusive, ephemeral,” says Rachel Waranch, a Los Angeles–based attorney and mother of two. “Even if I were to somehow achieve some semblance of it for a moment, immediately thereafter someone would catch a cold, my iPhone would crash, or I’d lose my car keys.”
Here are some signs of the problem. Although many women are now working full-time jobs, we are still performing most of the household labor (according to one survey, 67 percent of household tasks are completed by women, whereas men do only 33 percent of the work at home) and spearhead most of the behind-the-scenes worrying and organizing (signing the consent forms, organizing playdates, grocery shopping). Even as we are being encouraged to lean in, the “other” stuff—childcare, meal prep, PTO meetings, helping with parents who are ill, volunteering, mentoring—doesn’t go away. And more often than not, it’s women who take responsibility for it.
In spite of changes to workplace culture, many employers still value employees who push themselves to their limits, who have no boundaries. The golden few stay late at the office and show up early. In other words, leaving at 5 p.m. to pick up your kids (even if your work is done because you work extremely efficiently) is frowned upon.
And many women are, as a result, wracked with guilt about not fitting it all in perfectly. “I feel like this is the thing I obsess over most,” says New York Times reporter and mother of two, Jenny Medina. “Am I giving short shrift to work or to family?”
Most women—mothers especially—can find any number of things to feel guilty about, and having it all (or the inability to) is often at the top of the list.
But don’t panic. “Guilt has a positive value,” explains Myra Strober, professor of business and education at Stanford University, who has specialized in work–family issues for 40 years. “It says, ‘Here are some parameters I don’t want to go beyond.’” These boundaries can be about the length of work trips, the need to be home for bedtime, or the desire to work out of the house for a few hours a week to bring in a little income.
These kinds of parameters work for Medina. “Partly by design and partly by necessity, I have to pick up the kids at school by 5:30 p.m.,” Medina explains, “so my whole day is designed around the fact that, no matter what, I need to leave the office at 5 p.m.” Medina doesn’t have a nanny, and her husband works late, so this is a hard deadline—and guilt helps her achieve it. Before having kids, there were no parameters around her work life, but now she feels awful if she doesn’t see her kids during the window between pickup and bedtime. Her solution? Designing her day to make sure that happens.

Stop calling it work–life balance. It’s all about navigation.

The first key to finding work–life balance is to stop calling it that. The term “work–life balance” is inherently problematic. Work is a part of our lives, and the word “balance” is misleading.
“Balance is not a good image,” explains Strober. “For most people, ‘balance’ brings to mind the scales of justice. You want the scales to be even, and nobody is saying that work and family should be even.”
We imagine work–life balance as somehow quantifiable—as though we are trying to weigh two or more elements just perfectly on a scale. Heaven forbid they tip! The moment they do—which is unavoidable—the whole system falls apart and you’re considered out of balance. This is just another way to wind up feeling like a failure.
“I now talk about navigating work and family,” Strober says. “Imagine you’re on a ship and you’re moving between work and family. Sometimes you’re in one harbor and sometimes in another, trying to figure out which harbor to go to next.”
The question to ask yourself is: How do I have a satisfying work life and a satisfying home life? What do I need in each to feel good about my choices?
How we navigate our various obligations will, of course, change as we age. How a single woman in her twenties navigates the myriad pieces of her life—work, friends, dating, finances—will be different from how a woman in her thirties with two small kids, a partner, and a mortgage will try to make sense of hers. The key is to allow that flexibility to exist and to accept that your priorities (and experiences of guilt reminding you you’re straying from your true desires) will shift along with it.

Instead of balance, look for harmony—and meaning.

Strober isn’t the only one who finds the term “balance” problematic. Professor Steven Poelmans, academic director of the International Centre of Work and Family (ICWF) at IESE Business School in Barcelona, Spain, argues that the term “balance” is limiting.
“If balance is defined as equal amounts of time spent in a particular domain,” he says, “a woman who is spending 50 hours a week in both work and non-work domains could very well also experience work–life conflict.” It is vital, he explains, to differentiate between work–life balance and work–life conflict. In other words, quantifying success by the number of hours we clock doing this or that is not a fair—or meaningful—assessment of how happily or joyfully the pieces of our lives are fitting together.
Poelmans prefers the term “harmony,” because it “suggests a state of mutual compatibility, satisfaction, and well-being, even though balance may still be lacking.” But he goes beyond this, arguing that what we are really looking for is not only harmony, but meaning, and that most of us can tolerate imbalance in our lives—at least for a while—if we are choosing to spend our time in ways that feed us.
Think of it this way: A young working mother choosing to temporarily sacrifice her career in order to stay home with her newborn might not be making a “balanced” choice—and certainly the division of labor at home won’t be balanced. But if the situation feeds her and gives her the meaning she desires in her life, who’s to say the imbalance she’s opted for is wrong?
Likewise, a woman working 120 hours a week as a surgical resident will have little balance in her life, but she is willing to live this way for a while if she feels that becoming a doctor gives her purpose.

8 Tips for Achieving Work–Home Harmony

1. Define your priorities.

In her TED Talk, author and time management expert Laura Vanderkam urges us to rethink time management. Time is highly elastic, she explains. “It will stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it.”
Vanderkam advises us to prioritize this way: Imagine it’s the end of the next year and you’re giving yourself a performance review. List three to five things that you did that made it a wonderful year, both at work and at home. Once you have the list, you now articulate six to 10 goals. Do you want to run a 5K? Take a Latin dance classes with your partner? Enroll in a fiction-writing workshop?
These priorities should fit into three categories: career, relationships, self—and at least one goal should make its way into each category. How will you make this happen? Put them into your schedule first.

2. Figure out what gives you energy—and what doesn’t.

“Get to know which of your skills and tasks use up your energy and which refill your energy,” says Emily Anhalt, PsyD, “and then limit the responsibilities you take on at work that drain you.” This will obviously be different for everyone. Introverts need more solitary time; extroverts love collaborative enterprise. Anhalt argues that dedicating time to the things that recharge you goes a long way toward finding more ease in and out of work.

3. Do not skimp on you time.

“If you don’t make time for you,” explains psychologist Vanessa Katz, PsyD, “you end up resenting the other things you have to do.” That can mean giving yourself a mere 45 minutes on a Sunday to do as you please. Sleep in, take an extra long shower, or go to the gym. Couples with small children should switch off. “Everyone needs a moment,” Katz says. “Then, when you return to your children, or to your work, you’ll feel reinvigorated rather than resentful.

4. When you’re home, put away your phone.

This advice is particularly important (and often controversial) for parents of small children who are getting limited face time and feeling guilty about it. “I’m really emphatic about the fact that for the two or three hours between pickup and bedtime that I am not on my phone,” Medina explains. She leaves her phone on in case an important work call comes in, but sets it aside so she can give her kids her full attention.

5. Use your power.

If you have influence in your workplace, can you change policies, procedures, and expectations for others? Can you make work–home harmony easier on everyone?

6. Learn to communicate.

We live in a time when most of us think it’s necessary to work after hours, especially if we are leaving work early to pick up kids or fulfill other obligations. But this isn’t always great for maintaining a social life, because when do you have time to just hang out?
The key is achieving clarity—with everyone. If this is a problem in your relationship, reflect on what you want and summon the courage to say to your partner, “I’m happy for you to work X number of hours a week at night”—and then agree on the details. How many nights a week? How late? How often? These same kinds of conversations can be fruitful at work and in other areas of your life—with the head of the PTO, the neighborhood association, the babysitter, a colleague—in short, anyone who is pulling on your time or feels confused about how you use yours.
Strober explains that being able to talk about these conflicts can go a long way toward building a good partnership.

7. Think about life–life balance.

“It’s not only about finding a balance between work and life,” Katz says. “It’s about finding balance when you’re not at work.” What is most important to you? Time alone? Family? Friends? Working out? Use the hours when you aren’t at work—say, from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. to 11 p.m.—for putting those activities front and center.

8. Don’t forget to smell the roses.

“Sometimes you have to just stop and be happy,” Waranch says. “This is true about navigating the complex web of work, family, and life. There will never be perfection, and there will never be balance. And sometimes you have to just stop and say, ‘This is OK. This is good.’”
So go ahead and throw away the idea of balance. Instead, think about deftly navigating the various elements of your life. Not only will this reconceptualization give you a more realistic goal, but it can actually shift the sense of anxiety around it—affording you more harmony wherever you go. There’s no getting it exactly right. It’s about finding a system that works for you and allowing that system to change as your very full life does too.

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