Rain Dove doesn’t love labels.
She doesn’t hate them, either. To her, the differences between men and women are practically inconsequential. We’re all humans—why make things more complicated?
“I know my name is Rain Dove,” the model tells HealthyWay, “so there’s definitely going to be some hippy-dippy s**t in here.”
Dove made international headlines in 2015 when she walked the runway at New York’s Fashion Week in menswear, quickly becoming the central figure in four separate shows. For most people, that would be a crowning achievement, but for Dove, it was a means to an end; in 2016, she was a major player in the fight against North Carolina’s controversial bathroom bill, and she continues to fight for representation of non-binary people in media.
We’re just scratching the surface of an incredibly interesting life: Dove also lived as a man for a year while fighting wildfires, gave a stirring TED talk about gender identity, and went viral for challenging Victoria Secret’s beauty standards. She also attended the University of California at Berkeley where she pursued a degree in genetic engineering.
We spoke with Dove to learn more about her first (accidental) foray into modeling, what she learned while living as a male firefighter, and how we can fight back against harmful perceptions of gender.
[Editorial note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.]
HEALTHYWAY: Thanks for taking the time. For the intro to this article, do you have a pronoun preference?
RAIN DOVE: A pronoun is just a sound to me, and all I’m listening for in the sound is positivity.
Awesome. So you started modeling when you lost a bet on the Cleveland Browns. Would you mind going over that?
Sure, yeah. It was a dark and stormy day, and I went out with some drinks with a friend who was the face of DKNY at the time.
We were watching a football game, and they told me that I should consider modeling. I told them, “Models are pretentious people who don’t eat, and I love food too much. It’s not going to fit me.”
But they said, “I have a feeling it’d be a really important part of your activism, so I’m going to make a bet with you. If I choose the winning team, then you have to go to a casting call of my choice.” And, of course, they picked the right team. I ended up having to go to a casting call three months later for Calvin Klein.
I didn’t know anything about fashion, and honestly, it seemed like the worst possible thing to send me to do. I just really, really was uncomfortable. And when I went in, they told me I was there on the wrong day. I looked around, and all I saw were like blondes and one redhead. I thought, “Oh, they must do it by hair color, that makes sense.” You know, you don’t want the color of the hair to clash with the color of the clothing.
So they said to come back tomorrow. I came in the next day and it was all men. I realized, “Oh, they think I’m a man. Okay, whatever.” I’d been mistaken as a male before, and it didn’t really offend me, so I just went with it.
They ended up casting me in the show. When I went there, they handed me a pair of underwear and said, “Alright, we’ve gotta do our runthrough in 20 minutes. Everybody get running! Roll, roll, roll! Rain, go put on your outfit!”
I said, “Okay, where do I get my outfit?” And they’re like, “That is your outfit.”
And I realized that I was in a Calvin Klein men’s underwear show.
I knew I had two choices. I could be like, “Hey, there’s some things on my body that probably don’t align with the particular marketing scheme you have for this garment, so thank you so much and goodbye.” Or I could make my friend just as embarrassed as I was—so I took the underwear, went into the dressing room. At the very last second, while they’re rushing, I came out of the dressing room—just, like, burst out, in only the underwear. No bra or anything. And I went down the runway.
How did they react to that?
The casting director really looked like he was going to s**t himself. I mean he was just like, “Oh, my God, my career is over!”
And little did I know that that moment would change everything about my life and what I do. I didn’t think I would ever get into modeling, but when I started getting more job offers, I did them, because you can make more money in a half of a day of modeling than you could in an entire week of manual labor.
When I saw how much people were spending on a Chanel purse, I realized—if they can spend $3,000 on a purse, they can afford $3 a month to help people change their lives through various causes and organizations.
So I decided to give modeling a shot, because I realized that—well, we always end up preaching to an echo chamber, you know? We talk to people who are already listening. I wanted to talk to the people who weren’t listening or who didn’t want to, because they’re the ones who need the change the most.
Yeah, and I think part of the reason that you’re such an engaging figure is that you’re kind of taking down the norms of the fashion industry while participating in it. Do you think that your opinion of the fashion industry has changed significantly since you’ve become a part of it?
Yes, it has. I used to just think it’s full of pretentious people. Whenever you think of the fashion industry, you always think that it’s full of people who are dumb and vapid. And there are those people that do exist in this world.
But I realized that fashion—I never really had much of a fashion sense growing up. I just wore what was comfortable. When I open up my dresser, for me, it’s more like opening up a toolbox than it is me opening up the world of creative possibilities, you know.
I realized that clothing, for a lot of people, is like armor. It’s like an extension of their flesh. It allows people to say who they are, sometimes without ever having to say anything out loud at all.
There are good guys and there are bad guys, you know? There are people who really care, and who are trying hard to change the way that we market things. The issue is not really in high fashion; the issue is in commercial fashion.
You’ve described yourself as a gender capitalist. That seems very linked into this idea of making non-binary genders culturally acceptable—I guess, making them more marketable.
That’s exactly it. The things that we’ve always known [in fashion], we have a pretty good idea that they will work, but you need to be able to take risks. And you have to be okay with the fact that those risks won’t always pay off.
https://www.instagram.com/p/_LZWmTBsZ7/?taken-by=raindovemodel
I say that I’m a gender capitalist because I just don’t have time to f**k around. I do flex myself in society to get the best out of it. But the reason I need to [do that] is to break the binary, to break the system. To make people feel like they’re not enslaved by the clothing that wear or by the language that they speak.
That’s fantastic. I guess what’s interesting to me is you’ve got a unique perspective because of your experiences—you lived as a man for a year when you were a firefighter, correct?
Yes. Eleven months. I didn’t make it out to a full year; I got injured towards the end of it. I was so bummed.
What happened?
I got caught in a blaze with two other people. That’s actually how people found out I was a woman. Or, not a woman, but you know—that I had female on my birth certificate.
It was a really brutal time period. In fact, we all got injured really badly. The helicopters came in to airlift us out, and they only had room for two people, and there were three of us. They took one person named Colin, who was male-identifying, because he was the most injured. He was barely alive.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BAR8Vz_BseJ/?taken-by=raindovemodel
And they looked at myself and this other person, and this other person was very femme, female-presenting. Then there’s me, who’s been operating as a male for a while. We both had very similar injuries; I had a head injury with a helmet kind of melted into the side of my head, and she had multiple fractures in her foot and her ankles. We both had broken collar bones—it was just a mess.
But you know what they said when they were trying to determine who to take first? They were like, “Well, ladies first.” And they picked her up and put her on the ‘copter.
I was like, “Wait! I mean, sure go for it! I mean—of course, she’s my crewmate, but that can’t be the reason. Surely, tell me that her injuries are worse, that’s why you’re taking her. Don’t just say ‘Ladies first,’ like—come back here, f****r!” (Laughs)
But it was when I spent that time period as a male firefighter—I thought I had found the golden ticket to life. I could look like a cisgender, white, decent-looking guy. And I thought that was the ticket to having a better life.
In a lot of ways, it was, but one of the things I discovered when living with all these men as a male—I got to hear their conversations. The types of conversations and subjects that they just don’t talk about around women, you know?
I found that guys are actually—well, we always say that they’re not emotional, but they do tend to be kind of gossipy sometimes, and they do tend to have feelings about things and talk about them pretty intimately with their buddies. I realized that they have a lot of pressures on their shoulders, pressures that I never had as a woman.
They always feel like they’ve gotta have their s**t taken care of, for themselves. There’s no fallback…If they need someone to take care of them, then they feel weak or depressed.
And actually, the rate of depression in my group was really high because a lot of guys felt like they weren’t going to be able to live up to certain expectations. There was a lot of frustration.
Can you give an example of that type of frustration?
We had these female crew mates and they would yell at us, like, “No! You need to do it this way!” That’s just fire banter—you just do that, you know? We get fiery with each other sometimes. It’s a life or death job, you do not have time for feelings, you’ve just got to say stuff.
But a lot of men felt really frustrated, because they couldn’t say things at the same level … “We feel like we can’t do conflict resolution because we’ll be seen as mansplaining.” Or, “We can’t talk about how we feel about something because it’ll be seen as aggressive.”
And men would highly sexualize the women, but only when they’re trying to impress each other. It doesn’t happen in a one-on-one setting.
It’s like a call-and-response thing. It was almost like it’s just programmed into their language. But for the most part, when you just talk to a guy on your own—the conversations I had were actually not so much about attraction. They’re actually very much function-based, like “She annoys me,” or “She works hard.” They were an assessment of the value of the person physically and through action rather than sexually.
As a culture, I guess we focus on saying that things are easier for this group, or things are easier for this group. I think things are probably much easier for men than they are for women, overall—but it seems like such a valuable enterprise to be pointing out at the way that sexism and genderism make things difficult for everyone.
Yeah, it’s important for us to recognize that people are treated individually and assessed based off of multiple intersectionalities, from color to ability to the mannerisms in their body.
The first division we have is our genitals at birth. I mean, that’s the very first division we experience. And I get it. I get it, you know? But at the same time, it really does curate a lot of our experience. And I think in order for us to be honest and sit down at the table, we cannot go into it saying, “It’s red team versus blue team.”
We have to say that there are disadvantages on both sides of this spectrum. There are problems for men, and we have to recognize that. And there are problems for women that you might think are over, but they aren’t over. There are different kinds of women in society.
And I hope that we get to a point where we just assess every person individually for their experience, not for their body.
The irony, of course, that in order to stop talking about gender, we have to talk about it constantly. Kind of like we’re doing right now.
Yeah, that’s exactly it. Like, I don’t want to have to talk about this stuff, you know? But we have to.
You said in one interview that you wanted to be boring. I thought that was really interesting.
Yeah, I mean, that’s your ideal, right?
What’s something you would like to tell people they could do to try and help with these issues? To make a positive change?
I think that the easiest thing to do—well, it’s actually very difficult, but it doesn’t involve taking to the streets, or, you know, dressing in a squirrel suit and jumping off a building and attacking Mike Pence or anything like that—the easiest thing is just to be honest with yourself and allow other people to be honest with themselves.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BVSdM8EF24L/?taken-by=raindovemodel
So many times, we shove down our truth just because we feel like we shouldn’t be having it, or we feel like there’s something wrong … So when you’re like, “I like this color,” just let yourself f****g like the color. If you’re like, “I like this person,” just let yourself like the person. If you love the smell of fresh-cut grass, just be like, “I f****g like that!”
Because the things that you like and dislike, that’s you. Allowing people to be honest about what they like and dislike is important because you’ll find very quickly that some things we like are biases that have been created through social programming. Racism is a great example, homophobia is a great example. We won’t be able to have conversations about how to change that programming if we can’t be honest with each other about the fact that we’re having these feelings.
I always tell people we’re not our bodies. We can remove any part of your body, any organ can be replaced with a plastic pump these days. But the you that is you is something so much more than your body. It’s an experience. It’s an awareness. So the best thing that people can do is really be honest about their experience and let other people be honest about their experiences.
And as long as those people aren’t getting in your way of food or other people’s ways of food, shelter, water, physical safety, and freedom of movement, just let them f*****g be.
Category: Lifestyle
The average plastic bag is actively used for its designated purpose for an average of just 12 minutes before being discarded forever. After use, it will take 500 to 1,000 years for the bag to decompose. This is just one example of the incredible strain that everyday one-time-use plastic products put on our environment.
We’ve been exploring some of this unimaginable waste by the numbers, and we’ve got suggestions for alternatives that can help individuals reduce plastic waste and keep our beautiful planet clean.
Don’t contribute to plastic waste. Remember these five simple tips:
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There’s no denying that creating a wedding registry is one of the most exciting parts of getting married. It’s a fun task that assists all of the well-wishers who want to congratulate you with a wedding gift and allows you to truly begin imagining your life and home with the person you’ll marry. However, even though picking out things you like sounds like an easy task, creating a registry is a process—and one that you should definitely put some thought into.
That’s where we come in. From picking out which registry site to use to selecting the items on your list and making sure you follow up appropriately once the gifts are purchased, here’s everything you need to know about creating the perfect wedding registry for you.
The Sites
Forget the days of registering at one store or another—universal wedding registries are where it’s at. They allow you to keep one cohesive list while adding items from any of your favorite stores, whether that’s Target, Williams Sonoma, Crate & Barrel, or Pottery Barn. While you can’t go wrong with the major universal wedding registry options out there, each one has differences and benefits that can help you choose the one that’s right for you.
Amazon — Aside from having any product you could possibly want to add to your registry, one of the biggest benefits of registering with Amazon is shopping with Amazon Smile. When you create your registry with Amazon Smile, money gets donated to charity with every item that’s purchased, allowing your guests to give back as they give to you. As if that weren’t enough, Amazon will also keep track of when a gift was purchased and who bought it, which’ll make sending thank-you notes a breeze. You’ll even have a one-time opportunity to save 10 percent (20 percent for Prime members!) on anything that’s left on your registry after the big day.
Zola — Zola is a relatively new offering when it comes to universal wedding registries, but it’s already changing the game in a big way. Aside from its perfectly curated selection of products, Zola’s most notable feature allows you to add different experiences to your registry. Instead of a new cookbook, friends and family can buy you a meal plan from Blue Apron so you and your spouse-to-be can get into the kitchen together. You can even request gift cards for Southwest Airlines flights or stays at an Airbnb—perfect for planning your honeymoon or your next romantic getaway.
The Knot — As a huge name when it comes to the wedding industry, it should come as no surprise that The Knot also created a killer universal wedding registry. One of its newest features is also what helps it stand out the most. The Newlywed Fund allows your guests to gift you with cash for different experiences or more expensive items of your choice. It’s perfect for the couple who already has the silverware set and knife block of their dreams; they can create a fund for the bathroom remodel they’ve been dreaming of, their honeymoon trip, or even just for future date nights and experiences.
Blueprint Registry — Blueprint’s biggest advantage is not-so-subtly hidden right in its name. When most people plan their wedding registry, they tend to group things in a logical order—kitchen products together, tech accessories together…you get the idea. With Blueprint, you can step this concept up a notch by actually grouping together all of your similar items in a visual blueprint of the room they’ll go in. You can plan out your registry room by room, and your friends and family can easily browse your selections in the same way.
MyRegistry.com — MyRegistry.com allows you to combine the ease of creating an online registry with the traditional fun of shopping in a store. As you’re browsing a store in person, you can use the MyRegistry.com app to scan the barcodes of items that you like so they can instantly be added to your registry with the benefit of you seeing them in person first. Even better is that you can also add items without barcodes by taking a picture for the registry and writing a note about where your friends and family can find them.
Creating and Managing Your Registry
Once you’ve picked out which registry works best for you, the fun can begin—choosing the items and experiences you want on your list. Although it sounds like a dream come true, it can actually be a surprisingly difficult process. When creating your registry, here’s what you should keep in mind.
Take inventory.
You can’t pick out things that you need without first figuring out what you have. Coffee maker on the fritz? Need new dishes because you’ve broken all of yours over time? Start building your registry with things that you truly need and then home in on things that are less of a necessity and more of a luxury.
Vary the price points.
Let’s be real: Your co-worker isn’t going to buy you a Vitamix blender or a $200 Anthropologie quilt. When selecting items for your registry, it’s important to pick things that encompass a variety of price points so that anyone looking to get you a gift can feel comfortable doing so.
Think outside the box.
If you and your future spouse have already lived together for a while, there’s a good chance that you already have lots of things that might typically go on a wedding registry. While it’s a great opportunity to update some of your basics, it’s also your chance to ask for things that are a little more unconventional.
Luggage
Whether you travel often or you’re in need of a new bag before your honeymoon trip, luggage can be a great addition to your registry.
Art
Are your walls a little bare or are you and your honey planning on moving into a new house after the big day? Add some art to the list.
Cash Funds
Give family and friends the option to donate to a certain experience or project—kitchen renovations, a snorkeling getaway on your honeymoon, or even the cooking lessons you’ve always wanted. You can use your chosen universal registry site for this or try Honeyfund.
Charitable Donations
Instead of a gift for you, ask your guests to make a charitable donation in your name to the charity of your choice. Need a few things but also want to give back?
Both The Good Beginning and CrowdRise are good options if you are looking to exclusively “register” for charitable donations to be made in your name. You can also register through The Knot Gifts Back program, which automatically makes up to a 3 percent donation to a charity of your choice with each gift purchased from your registry.
Register early and make updates.
You don’t have to create your entire wedding registry the day after you get engaged, but starting one earlier is better. It’s great for any friends or family members who’d like to buy you a gift for pre-wedding celebrations or for those who know they can’t make it to your special day.
You should also continue to update your registry as time goes on—not just to add things that you need or want but to give guests more options at different prices. And don’t worry, having a bigger registry isn’t greedy—it actually helps your guests out.
Registry Items
Now that you’ve figured out where to register and gotten a good idea of what you might want to ask for, the time has come to start building your list. You may have a few things in mind already, but we’ve put together a handy list to help you cover the basics—and even a few things you might not have thought of.
Dining
When it comes to your dining essentials, there are a few things to take into consideration. It’s more than just picking out items in a style you like—you’ll also want to consider how many people are in your household, whether you want to ask for extras in case you accidentally break a plate or glass, and things you know you’ll use every day but don’t already have.
Consider asking for:
- Dinnerware sets
- Flatware
- Steak knives
- Glasses
- Napkins
- Napkin rings
- Chargers
Get Started With Our “Dining” Registry Picks:
Entertaining
If you plan on having your family and friends over often, consider asking for pieces that will be handy when it comes to entertaining guests. When picking out your items, think about what types of gatherings you usually host and how many people you usually have over.
Consider asking for:
- Platters
- Ice bucket
- Coasters
- Wine glasses
- Wine accessories
- Cheese board
Get Started With Our “Entertaining” Registry Picks:
Cooking
If you’re a home chef, you may already have a well-stocked kitchen when it comes to the essentials. But if you’ve been thinking about upgrading your arsenal of ingredients and tools, now’s the time.
Consider asking for:
- Pots and pans
- Mixing bowls
- Measuring cups
- Casserole dishes
- Cooking utensils
- Cutting boards
Get Started With Our “Cooking” Registry Picks:
Small Appliances
If you already have plates, silverware, and glassware that you’re happy with, start thinking about bigger items that your kitchen is missing. You can even set up your wedding registry so that guests can contribute to the costs of larger items that you’ve been meaning to purchase.
Consider asking for:
- Blender
- Stand mixer
- Toaster
- Slow cooker
- Pressure cooker
- Coffee maker
- Vacuum
Get Started With Our “Small Appliances” Registry Picks:
Bedroom
Perhaps your bedding needs an upgrade, or maybe you’re looking to start sprucing up your guest bedroom. Whatever the case may be, bedroom items are perfect to add to your wedding registry because they’re essential and tend to vary in price.
Consider asking for:
- Lamps
- Bedding
- Pillows
- Rug
- Sheet sets
- Hamper
- Curtains
- Sound machine
Get Started With Our “Bedroom” Registry Picks:
Bathroom
Your bathroom is one of the most used spaces in your home, so you’ll definitely want to think about adding some updated essentials. Think about adding more decorative pieces, too, or even requesting money for renovations.
Consider asking for:
- Bath towels
- Hand towels
- Washcloths
- Bath mat
- Shower curtain
- Scale
- Wastebasket
- Vanity containers
Get Started With Our “Bathroom” Registry Picks:
Beyond the Basics
If you’ve already got all the essentials covered, now’s the time to get creative. As we said before, think outside the box when it comes to your wedding registry and add things you want but that people might not always think to get you.
Consider asking for:
Get Started With Our “Beyond The Basics” Registry Picks:
Don’t want or need anything?
Check out these sites and request that donations be made to the charity of your choice in your name:
Or start a cash fund through Honeyfund to receive money toward home renovations or a down payment, honeymoon plans, or other experiences.
Giving Thanks
Perhaps the most important part of the wedding registry process is remembering to thank everyone who spent the time and money picking something out for you. Keeping a gift log (you can download this one for free!) is a great way to track who got you what and at which event they gave it to you, so you can easily thank your co-worker Linda for attending your bridal shower and buying you a new Crock-Pot.
It’ll also help you out when you get a gift that you know you probably won’t use but still want to be appreciative of anyway. At the next family function, you can remind yourself to rave to your notoriously wacky aunt about the sweaters she crocheted for you, even if you’ve never worn them.
Though your family and friends will appreciate receiving any sort of thank you for a gift they’ve bought you, there is an ideal time frame during which your thank-you cards should be sent. As soon as possible is best, but you should aim to get them all sent out within three months after your honeymoon.
If you’re looking for thank-you card suggestions, we’ve linked some good options below. Or if you want something more personalized, we suggest Paper Culture or Paper Source, where you can customize your own thank-you card sets that will be printed on post-consumer recycled paper.
I’m definitely a beauty junkie, which means you can name a product—from eyeliners to highlighters to my-lips-but-better lipsticks—and I surely have at least a few different options. But when I’m traveling, that goes out the window: I pare down my skin and makeup routines to the bare essentials so I can fit everything I need in a single carry-on. When I have to get smart about what I pack, I go simple with a few tried-and-true products that can do more than one thing. Hey, we multitask at work all the time—why not during our skincare routines too?
Whether you’re looking to save cash by killing two birds with one stone or you’re just trying to minimize your makeup bag for simplicity’s sake, it’s time to look at products known for their versatility. From multi-use to multitasking, here are five beauty products to make sure you have on hand.
1. Ouai Rose Hair & Body Oil
This haircare brand from celeb stylist Jen Atkin is my favorite answer to the What the hell do I do with my hair? question. I have major waves and curls, and the best way I’ve found to tame the frizz is with Ouai’sRose Hair & Body Oil. Once I realized I could put it on my legs post-steamy shower, my life was changed.
The absinthium, shea, and rosehip oils moisturize and hydrate; the subtle rose scent is an added bonus! And since Ouai never tests on animals, this is a head-to-toe oil you can truly feel good about.
2. Milk Makeup Holographic Stick
We’ve all heard of the NARS Multiple, and it’s a classic for a reason. But if you’re looking for an animal-friendly, eco-conscious alternative, Milk Makeup’sHolographic Stick is the vegan answer to your prayers. The highlighter, which comes in three shades—Supernova, a holographic purple; Mars, a shimmery peach; and Stardust, a sweet pink—will work wonders on your entire face.
Lightly swipe Supernova across your lids and cheekbones for a poppin’ highlight or use Stardust to get matchy-matchy on your lips and apples of your cheeks. For a summery glow, use Mars over all three.
3. Glossier Balm Dotcom
It’s the cult-fave product from a cult-fave brand: Glossier’sBalm Dotcom is touted as a universal skin salve, and it certainly lives up to its reputation. Use it to repair [linkbuilder id=”6481″ text=”cracked lips”], chapped cheeks, and frayed cuticles. The waxy texture sits on your skin, ensuring moisture is locked in; use it over your favorite lip balm or hand lotion and you’ll be fixed up in no time.
The balm comes in six flavors—two of which give a sheer wash of color—and is addicting enough that you’ll want one in every purse you own.
4. Son & Park Beauty Water
Sephora only sells two products from Korean beauty brand Son & Park, which is a shame, because their Beauty Water is a must-have in my beauty arsenal. This multitasking master—which comes in the sleekest packaging ever—can be used as a cleanser, a toner, and an exfoliant gentle enough for everyday use. It creates a smooth base for applying foundation when used during the day, and at night it’s a relaxing way to take it all off.
It’s formulated with lavender and rose waters and orange and papaya extract, which will make your skin look brighter than ever—all thanks to a little water.
5. Korres Wild Rose Sleeping Facial
Unlike the other products highlighted, this isn’t a multi-use product, but it is a damn good multitasker. Korres’Wild Rose Advanced Brightening Sleeping Facial is a powerful mask packed into a little jar that you use—as the name implies—while you’re sleeping. If you’re getting lax on your skincare routine or jet lag has you running a bit behind, try an overnight facial to restore some lost luminosity.
The cruelty-free and eco-friendly Greek beauty brand created this sleeping mask with wild rose oil, vitamin C, and hyaluronic acid, which together deliver a serious dose of hydration and radiance you can see as soon as you wake up.
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This week, we’re featuring Jah9, a Jamaican artist, yogi, and activist. This year we’re laser focused on total body well-being, mindfulness, and women’s empowerment—and Jah9 is all about those concepts, making her a perfect fit.
Born Janine Cunningham, she started going by her childhood nickname Jah9 as she got older, and that’s how she’s been known ever since. From her music and yoga to her activism and passion for gardening, Jah9’s work is rooted in her African heritage and spiritual influences, bringing a balance of tradition and new-age philosophies to her followers.
Her music, which she’s performed the world over—and describes as “jazz on dub”—is perfect for the introspective and dynamic vibes we’re hoping to feel this summer. Check out her Instagram: Her photos, personal expression, and music videos are true works of art and certainly different from the typical yoga influencer aesthetic most people have come to expect.
Jah9 is serious about her yoga: She’s a certified instructor trained in Ashtanga, Iyengar, and Kemetic yoga. Haven’t heard of all of those? No problem—Jah9 makes yoga accessible for all people, regardless of their background or locale. She leads Yoga on Dub workshops around the globe, where she teaches attendees to see yoga in the context of Afrocentric expression, and she also features sequences you can follow along with on YouTube and Instagram.
We especially love the spiritual spin Jah9 puts on everything she does: With her music, poetry, and yoga, she focuses on the connection between body and mind. Building on that philosophy, she’s worked with at-risk youth in her city, Kingston, Jamaica, to help kids pursue the arts; she’s also taught African refugees how to find healing through yoga and breathwork. It’s refreshing to learn about someone whose work is truly bigger than they are.
We asked Jah9 about her source of inspiration, her recent faves, and the advice she lives by. True to form, her answers are no bullshit: a simple, straightforward look into the life of someone who’s teaching us to pause and find our power.
A Day in the Life
What does your daily routine look like?
First hour after I open my eyes is breathwork and reflection, then water. It may vary after that depending on what the day entails.
What are your favorite ways to practice self-care?
Watering and oiling my hair—and sunbathing.
How do you stay inspired?
Serving my community and family, and reading.
Disclaimer: Just so you know, if you order an item through one of our posts, we may get a small share of the sale.
Loving Lately…
What are the best products you’ve discovered recently?
BeMoor handmade herbal supplements from the UK
What are your favorite apps?
MultiTrack DAW, Notes, Voice Memo
Whose Instagram is on your radar?
@acrovinyasa #squadgoals
What are you reading, watching, or listening to?
I am reading Her-Bak: The Living Face of Ancient Egypt, watching my herb trees grow, and listening to my intuition more and more.
Jah9 IRL
What is your bucket list travel destination?
Egypt
What’s your most-used emoji?
Clasping hands
What woman in history would you love to take to brunch?
Empress Menen of Ethiopia
What superpower would you like to have?
Telekinesis
To learn more about Jah9, visit her YouTube channel and Instagram. She’s recently released two new songs, “Love Has Found I” and “Feel Good”—tune in, turn them up, and embrace the vibes.
There are two kinds of women in this world: those who wear makeup to the gym and those who don’t. (There are actually plenty of other ways to talk about women, but stay with me.) And as a woman who has stood on both sides of this argument, I know the pros and cons of each firsthand.
Before you judge the woman next to you, remember this: Being a woman today is challenging enough. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, at least one person will be happy to tell us how wrong our choices are.
So keep this in mind: If you choose to wear makeup to the gym, that is okay. If you choose to sport bare skin, that is okay. If you want to hide your latest hormonal breakout, that is okay. If you want to revel in a natural glow, that is okay. If you feel empowered by either, that is okay.
So why wear it in the first place?
Women who choose to wear a full face at the gym may do so for a variety of reasons, many of which might be overlooked by someone who consistently goes bare.
For countless women, working a 9-to-5 means driving straight to the gym after punching out. When that’s the case, taking the time to wash off a day’s worth of makeup may seem like one extra hassle amidst an already hectic schedule. There are also women who simply make it to the gym no matter their work schedule and forget to wipe off their contour/highlight combo.
For others, wearing makeup offers an intentional boost of confidence when an acne flare-up wreaks havoc on her chin. For someone with cystic acne, working out in public might be a huge step; are we really going to look down on her for using some concealer?
And hey, let’s not forget the times we’re secretly hoping our luxe lashes draw the attention of our latest gym crush a few treadmills down. That’s a perfectly valid reason to flex your makeup skills—don’t let anyone tell you differently!
The bottom line? We’re human, and wearing makeup is not the biggest offense of gym-goers at large.
Keep in mind…
While these reasons (as well as any others that may come to mind as you read through this) are certainly understandable, working out with a face full of heavy makeup isn’t usually recommended.
The heat and sweat produced during workouts open the pores. While this can be healthy and detoxifying when skin is bare, open pores beneath a thick layer of foundation and bronzer tend to cause irritation. These pores can become blocked not only by the particles of makeup but also by the dirt and bacteria that have made it onto the skin throughout the day.
If you’re set on wearing makeup to a workout, it’s absolutely essential to fully cleanse your face immediately following your gym sesh. When we say immediately, we mean immediately. Make a pit stop in the women’s locker room before starting the drive home—a simple cleanser and moisturizer are enough until you have time to run through a longer skin routine.
Glossier’s Milky Jelly Cleanser is powerful enough to remove any leftover makeup and sweat while still keeping skin soft and supple. Follow with a non-comedogenic moisturizer, like La Roche-Posay’s Effaclar Mat, which can help mattify any excess oil.
Trust us, this quick and simple act of self-care is a habit that will reap noticeable rewards.
Recommended Products:
The Best of Both Worlds
For those who aren’t down to ditch the makeup altogether, try opting for lighter alternatives created with non-comedogenic ingredients and skin health in mind.
- Tinted mineral sunscreens can offer sheer coverage while protecting the skin. Try Tarte’s BB Tinted Treatment with SPF 30; it gives a matte finish that goes on smoothly. For a bit more coverage, pick up Laura Mercier’s Oil-Free Tinted Moisturizer; its SPF 20 will keep you protected, but its non-comedogenic ingredients won’t clog pores.
- Brows are the key to looking “done” without much effort. Go for a tinted gel to keep it from sweating off. We like the Tinted Brow Gel from the brow pros at Anastasia Beverly Hills or Boy Brow from cult-favorite beauty brand Glossier.
- Finally, follow up with a bit of waterproof mascara to keep you looking wide-eyed during those early-morning workouts. Tarte’s Lifted Sweatproof Mascara is created in a natural dark brown color that’s sure to stick.
If you’re looking for a one-stop shop, beauty box giant Birchbox has created a fitness-inspired beauty line, Arrow, and it might be exactly what your skin has been looking for. Formulated specifically for women leading an active lifestyle, this breathable skincare and beauty line promises to minimize irritation. We’re especially excited about the In the Blink of an Eye trio, which comes with waterproof mascara, eyeliner, and brow gel. Paired with their Soothing Facial Mist to cool down post-workout, Birchbox is proving that makeup at the gym is easier than ever.
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Routines are an organized girl’s best friend. We creatures of habit focus on a scheduled set of tasks that gets us up out of bed and ready to conquer the day. And our daily wind-down rituals help us close out yet another evening and prepare for the morning to come.
If this doesn’t sound quite like you or you’re feeling a little overwhelmed, don’t start by overhauling your entire daily schedule. Instead, try some small changes. These are the little tweaks we suggest you make to your space to help you take charge of your days.
1. Perfect the bedroom.
Everything ends and begins in the bedroom, so why not start our discussion nestled between the sheets? Even early birds can struggle with crawling out of bed from time to time. If you find this happening more often than not, try swapping out your light-canceling curtains for breezy sheers. The natural light peeping in and casting rays across the room will certainly help get you moving.
When it comes to alarms, you can choose to use your phone, a mod clock, or an old-school clock radio. No matter what you pick, try putting it across the room. Not only will this limit blue light and distraction at night, but it will also force you to get your butt in gear and out of bed to silence the morning ringing.
Shop Our “Perfect The Bedroom” Picks:
2. Power down.
Speaking of phones, it’s time to put an end to the incessant checking and re-checking. We understand that these gadgets have become our lifelines, but we also have to know when to shut this habit down.
As you’re getting ready for the day, leave your phone off to the side. Scrolling through the night’s missed notifications will only eat up your precious time. What’s more, why set the tone for the day with a feeling of comparison or catch-up when you can be embodying presence?
To help, we recommend creating a designated power station near the front door. When you’re home, use this space to be your phone’s new landing spot.
Pick a chic tray to serve as convenient pick-up and drop-off location near your door. When it’s not serving as a charging station, it’s the perfect home for fresh flowers and a sweet soy candle.
As you’re getting ready for the day, leave your phone off to the side. Scrolling through the night’s missed notifications will only eat up your precious time. What’s more, why set the tone for the day with a feeling of comparison or catch-up when you can be embodying presence?
To help, we recommend creating a designated power station near the front door. When you’re home, use this space to be your phone’s new landing spot.
Pick a chic tray to serve as convenient pick-up and drop-off location near your door. When it’s not serving as a charging station, it’s the perfect home for fresh flowers and a sweet soy candle.
Shop Our “Power Down” Picks:
3. Style with intention.
Nothing brightens up the mood like a new bouquet of seasonal flowers or a thriving air plant. It might seem superficial, but the things you choose to keep in your home create the vibes you live with. Treat yourself to the little things that will create a cozy sense of hygge year-round.
During your weekly grocery hauls, pick up your favorite blooms to spread throughout your home. There’s nothing like a little greenery to bring vitality to your less-than-lovely days. Light a few candles, string fairy lights around the perimeter of your ceiling, and find your coziest throw.
Shop Our “Style With Intention” Picks:
4. Create sacred spaces.
To help with at-home movement, create areas for bodyweight workouts and sweet-souled yoga practices. No matter how big or tiny your abode may be, find a corner (or a room!) that offers a zone free of clutter and full of motivating ambience. If need be, place furniture on sliders for stress-free removal. In tighter quarters, you can even opt for two smaller nesting tables versus one larger. This will help you clear the space with greater ease and even offer you a few more options for future feng shui transformations.
Having one area dedicated to these daily habits will help set the mood when the time comes to roll out your mat. Depending on preferences, this may be the perfect addition to your morning or evening routine. Take the extra 15 minutes you might spend on your hair and opt for a revitalizing flow instead. If you’d rather ground down before bed, leave your phone at its new station then melt into a few restorative asanas.
For moments calling for peaceful meditation or quiet reading, find a cozy nook in your home to snuggle into. For the happiest heart, we recommend sipping some steamy herbal tea to top it off.
Shop Our “Style With Intention” Picks:
5. Change it up.
The best way to feel different is to actually be different. To that end, change up your flow by changing up your space, literally. True, moving your furniture or painting a wall isn’t exactly a small change, but physically rearranging items is a great way to reframe your mindset.
If your couch has lived against the wall for years, try bringing it into the center of the room. If you’re a bit more strapped for space, swap your side tables or move an accent chair to the other side of the room. Thinking even smaller? Switch out your lampshades, layer rugs, or rearrange knick-knacks and coffee table books.
Make a few small (or big) changes to help you look at your space differently; you just might be surprised how it has the same effect on your life.
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Cool. Compassionate. Chunk. These are just a few words that come to mind as I consider this week’s badass Healthy Her Way feature, Samantha “Sammy” Eason. You’re probably wondering why anyone would use the word “chunk” in introducing a grown woman. On her Instagram (and IRL) Sammy lovingly refers to her son, Isaac, as “Chunk.” This nickname also inspired the title of Sammy’s unapologetically honest blog, Mother of Chunk.
On her blog, Sammy openly shares stories from her past and the lessons she’s learned (admittedly the hard way at times) in the hopes of helping others by proving that your past does not have to dictate your future. Sammy’s transparent content tackles topics that can often feel taboo, such as her father’s alcoholism and how the grief she experienced following his passing negatively impacted her perception of herself. Sammy has since turned her life around for the better and now has a constant source of inspiration and motivation in her pursuit of clean living: her son.
Sammy’s love of motherhood radiates through her content, often reminding readers that sometimes all you need to stay grounded is to look at the world through the eyes of a child.
For Sammy, clean living doesn’t just involve eating fewer processed foods, it also involves thinking clean, since our mindset is what ultimately impacts our feelings about ourselves and our interactions with others. “Our thinking is so powerful, and while it’s great to want to live and eat clean we also need to THINK CLEAN,” she shared in one powerful blog post.
In addition to Sammy’s raw and undiluted blog, she enjoys sharing her colorful food imagery, recipes, and real talk about her current pregnancy (yes, you read that correctly—Chunk is going to be a big brother!) on social media. In a world full of stress driven by social media, Sammy is able to stay grounded and doesn’t pressure herself to become a world-famous influencer or wellness guru. Instead, she views social media as a wonderful way to connect with new people and form friendships since relocating to St. Louis from Wellesley, Massachusetts. She simply wants to share her foodie creations, fitness updates, and unfiltered thoughts with others—and we’re here for it!
Despite the array of topics Sammy discusses with unrivaled transparency, she has one consistent message that is important to share: Do all things with love because love always wins. Sammy knows firsthand that it can be difficult to keep a positive mindset when life throws challenges your way, but these words are a powerful reminder that keeping love and kindness in your heart is the ultimate key to happiness (and it makes the world a better place to boot!)
A Day in the Life
What does your daily routine look like?
Before I was pregnant with my second, I would get up around 5:30 to sip on coffee and listen to music. I used to run first thing in the morning, so I’m convinced I do my best thinking early on. It’s nice for me to sit and plan ahead or write down thoughts. However, now I’m taking all the sleep I can get! We wake up around 7:30 and come downstairs for breakfast. Sometimes I take videos of my son eating because his facial expressions kill me, but I try not to have my phone out until after we’re dressed and ready for the day. Then we either head out for an activity or go play in our playroom!
What are your favorite ways to practice self-care?
Take a tub, get a massage, run errands solo, coffee or brunch with friends, redoing something in our house—I love change!
How do you stay inspired?
Luckily social media makes it easy to see tons of stunning content that really lights a fire under your tush (for me at least), but this past year traveling has definitely made a huge impact in my life. After moving to the Midwest from the east coast and starting a family, it’s been challenging to feel that sense of freedom that used to make me so wildly inspired. Now, whether we go back to Boston to visit family and friends or venture to the beach on the West Coast, there is nothing more special and inspiring than watching my son observe our world. It gives me a fresh perspective and new ambitions.
Disclaimer: Just so you know, if you order an item through one of our posts, we may get a small share of the sale.
Loving Lately…
What are the best products you’ve discovered recently?
I’m loving all skincare from Follain and Saje Wellness Head Soother Kit. Some of my favorite products from Follain are the Lavendar Bath Salts, the Dream Bath Elixir, and the Everything Soap.
What are your favorite apps?
Instagram, Spotify, Pinterest, my workout apps—Shred415 and CycleBar—and Two Dots. It’s like an electronical puzzle/problem solving game.
Whose Instagram is on your radar?
For food: @thefirstmess—I just feel cozy and at home looking at her feed. For motherhood: @amberfillerup—her family photos are so fun and inviting and she makes traveling to other countries with her kids look like a damn breeze. For fashion: @thesaltyblonde—her effortless looks make me feel like I could be good at dressing myself and she’s funny and thrives off of pizza and beer. What’s not to love? For travel: @gypsea_lust—ice cream, insane pools, and a twin sister to do all the fun things with?! Sign me up!
What’s your go-to healthy snack?
A dark chocolate chip peanut butter Perfect Bar. They actually keep you full and are the most satisfying when hanger strikes.
What are you reading, watching, or listening to?
I’m currently reading Oh Crap!, which is a book on potty training so I’m not sure I would recommend that (unless you have a 2-year-old), but my favorite book right now is Hillbilly Elegy.
For TV: How to Get Away With Murder makes me wish I had gone to law school!
Sammy IRL
If your pet could talk, how would they describe you?
Loud and embarrassing
What woman in history would you love to take to brunch?
Anne Frank
What are you really great at (that might embarrass you to admit)?
I can’t go to bed with dirty feet. So I’d say I’m exceptional at washing my feet haha.
What piece of advice has impacted you the most?
“Always be loving.” —my mom
To learn more about Sammy and Chunk (and what they’re eating this week), be sure to visit her Instagram and blog!
Sometimes life can feel like a Rihanna song—and not one of the fun sexytimes ones. If you all you do is work, work, work, work, work, you may be paying the bills, but when is the last time you actually did something that made you feel alive?
Some people have day jobs where they can kill two birds with one stone: They can pay the bills and get a creative outlet that fulfills their passions. Sixty percent of Americans even say they’re “completely satisfied” with their jobs.
But that leaves 40 percent of Americans who could use a little pick-me-up. Whether your secret passion isn’t a money-maker or you’re not comfortable giving up the benefits that come with full-time employment, there are still ways for you to do your thing in your off hours.
Ready? Set? Let’s do this.
Get a side hustle.
You may work 9 to 5, but if your employer’s not making use of your full range of talents, there’s no reason you can’t. In a 2017 study by Bankrate, an estimated 44 million Americans were working side hustles—extra gigs that bring in a little extra cash each month.
For some people, it’s a matter of making ends meet, but it can also be a way of making your passions profitable.
Put your volunteer hat on.
Maybe your dream of being a professional puppy birthday party planner will not make you any money, no matter how hard you hustle. But there’s likely a non-profit in your ‘hood that will take you on and let you fulfill some of those childhood dreams. Ask your local shelter if you can throw a puppy birthday–themed fundraiser. Turn your talent for boiling the perfect egg into producing mass quantities of goodies for your local community center’s Easter egg hunt. Put your penchant for planting to good use at the community garden.
Whatever you decide to do, don’t forget to check in with your employer. Many companies will provide a few hours off once a year (or more often) for employees to volunteer, while others may chip in a small donation. Your good deeds can not only fulfill you in your time off but help you feel more invested in your job.
Grab your backpack.
Adult student numbers are climbing at colleges across the U.S., thanks in no small part to the availability of online classes. Whether you’re looking to change your career entirely or just want to indulge your love of British literature or psychology, check with your HR department.
Many employers offer tuition reimbursement for employees. If your job won’t help with tuition, you can still search for scholarships or take non-credit classes for little or no money through programs like EdX.
Join the group.
You may not make it to Broadway. You may not be the next Maya Moore or Jonquel Jones. But your local theater group may be looking for someone with your acting chops to take on the Miss Hannigan role in their next production of Annie. And that group of ballers in your office may just need a point guard.
Plus, joining up won’t just let you live out your dreams. It may make you a new friend (or 12).
Just do it.
Ah, if only Nike slogans were real life. Whatever dream you’re chasing, don’t forget to give yourself permission to go for it. Yes, work is necessary. Yes, dinner needs to be made, and the kids need to be bathed. But it’s not merely acceptable to “do you.” It’s necessary. Still, you may need to kick-start yourself into action.
The key? Put it in writing (even if it’s “digital” writing). Carve out time on your Google calendar so no one schedules a late-afternoon coffee meeting when you’ll actually be rock climbing. Create a bullet journal, and start coloring in your to-do list. Write yourself some lists, post them on the fridge, and check things off when they’re done. The more you write down, the less wiggle room you give yourself to ignore your “me time.”
When you’re on your honeymoon, you sometimes wish it could last forever.
Unfortunately, honeymoons eventually end—for most couples, anyway.
That’s not exactly true for Mike and Anne Howard. On Jan. 22, 2012, the couple left their New York home for their honeymoon. Their plan was fairly bold: They’d travel to as many countries as they could, limiting their budget wherever possible.
They’re still traveling. Over the last six years, they’ve become National Geographic co-authors (check out their first book, Ultimate Journeys for Two, here), started a travel blog, visited all seven continents, volunteered in tribal villages, and launched their own travel workshop service.
We spoke with Mike and Anne to find out how they manage the financial (and personal) challenges of living a life on the road.
[Editorial note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.]
HEALTHYWAY: So, you guys have been traveling nonstop since 2012, is that roughly accurate?
ANNE HOWARD: That is accurate, yes.
We just decided—life is short, and the world is big. For our honeymoon, we planned a year-long journey around the world. We just haven’t come home yet. We realized that there was a lot more to see, so we just pressed on.
Recently, we bought this little funky RV, and we’re now exploring North America.
That’s awesome. Had either of you traveled extensively prior to that?
MIKE HOWARD: Sort of. We knew we had a sense of adventure. We were living in New York and used whatever vacation days we had to go on international trips or take road trips, but that was nothing like this. This is on a different scale—it’s really nomadic living.
And you got the inspiration from a friend of yours, is that correct?
M: Yes, that’s right.
A: Mike was actually at an Oktoberfest for a friend’s bachelor party. He met his buddy who’d just went around the world with his girlfriend for under $100 a day. We said, “Wait a minute, that’s basically the same as our rent, and we’re not even eating out or doing anything fun at all.”
That was a benchmark that we thought we could achieve.
Setting benchmarks seems pretty crucial for this sort of thing.
A: Yeah, I mean it was really helpful to have that encounter. Honestly, our life was good when we were in New York. We had good jobs, we’d just bought a house, we were about to get married. There was no reason for us to just sort of drop everything.
I think a lot of people decide on around-the-world journeys because they think, “Well, I’ve hit a rut in life, and I just had to get perspective.” That wasn’t us.
M: Our lives were good, but we also knew that’s just one view of the world. There’s so much more to explore and experience, so we decided that we valued travel that much. We said, “Hey, we’re going to prioritize this, because you can get hit by a bus tomorrow.”
A: You know, you could wait until you’re 65 and your knees are creaky, but then you can’t hike that mountain you wanted to hike. We just thought, “No messing around. Let’s do this. Let’s start saving.”
I think most people think that you’d have to be rich to do something like this.
M: Yes, it’s good to have those numbers be tangible, because we’re not millionaires. You could—if you start saving, it’s basically cutting out your Starbucks coffee and not going out every night of the week. You could make some simple changes and start a travel fund.
So we suggest that to everybody. If you do want to travel, quit talking about it and start making plans. Make yourself a travel fund. Set aside 5 percent of your paycheck every month towards travel. It is very achievable at every level.
A: We’ve now been traveling for six years, and our budget keeps going down. And we’re getting better at travel hacking—from frequent flyer miles to using home-sharing services, travel is crazy affordable. It’s way cheaper than going home, in fact.
What’s your travel budget around these days?
M: We don’t measure it on a daily basis, but we did an audit in 2016. I should note, we’ve had a lot of different travel styles—the first two years was just straight backpacking. We did 33 countries from 2012 to 2013.
A: And that speed can be expensive. We traveled really fast and went a lot of places, which increases your budget.
M: So our budget in the first two years was $74 for the two of us per day. That was all in—flights, hotels, visas, food, everything. From 2015 to 2016, we did a lot of house sitting. We averaged 10 countries per year, for those two years, so we went a little bit slower. Basically, we visited 20 countries over those two years.
House sitting helped bring our costs down a lot and gave us more immersive experiences, and our budget went down. And flights—like Anne said, we do almost every long-haul flight on [frequent flyer] miles for the entire trip. I don’t think we’ve paid for any flights, so that helps.
Last we checked, the budget was under $25 for the two of us, all-in, per day.
Whoa. Are you traveling comfortably for that kind of money?
A: Yeah, we know, it sounds really scary. We throw out those numbers, and people say, “Are you living under a bridge? Are you watching paint dry for fun?”
But no, we’ve had some really epic experiences. We took care of a beach house with two infinity pools overlooking the Pacific Ocean while in Costa Rica. That cost us nothing. We had a cat that we fed twice a day, but that was pretty much our only job!
M: We took care of a farm in Portugal. That was actually a phenomenal experience, to take care of a farm at the height of harvest. And you have neighbors, so you’re bartering potatoes for tomatoes and breaking bread together. It was a kind of thing that you couldn’t actually pay for. We did it for free, but it was invaluable.
A: That’s the thing with travel. Traveling inexpensively doesn’t mean you’re skimping on experiences. It’s actually shown us how to become a little more nimble and resourceful, realizing that the more creative you are with the ways you travel, the more rewarding it is.
I love that outlook. It’s really about these organic experiences. Is that something that kind of developed as you were traveling, or did you hit the road with that in mind?
A: I’d love to say that we were that wise going into this, but no. We had our bucket list. We wanted to hike Machu Picchu and scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef. But it was really about the people we met along the way and the unforeseen events—the serendipitous moments. That’s the magic of travel.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Ba9_-ynhZtZ/?taken-by=honeytrek
Taking the photos, that’s not what leaves you fulfilled. It’s really getting to know the people. The people are what make every place unique.
M: What stands out are the moments.
A: We’re in the bayou right now in Louisiana. We went to this Cajun dance hall that’s been around forever, and they’re famous for their live music.
Well, you know what? When we were there, there was no live music that night, but instead, we wound up hanging out with the family that owns the hall. They kept the place open until midnight, just chatting with us. We learned their life story, and they were showing us these family photographs and instruments—let me tell you, we had a more intimate experience than anyone who’s ever seen them play as a band.
You can’t plan everything, and that’s a good thing.
Do you have any other examples of when things have gone wrong?
A: Oh, plenty.
M: The one in Jordan…
A: That was more of a risk, but yeah.
The buses had stopped running. Buses don’t run on a normal schedule on Saturdays in Muslim countries, and we were trying to get from Petra to Ammon. It was my birthday, and Mike had organized a nice hotel—normally, we don’t splurge on something like that.
Oh, and we were leaving the next morning, so things kind of needed to run on schedule. With no bus, we decided we could take a really expensive cab, but that didn’t seem like a great option, so we decided to just ask around.
We see this bus that is full of Jordanian women, so we ask the driver, “Are you heading to Ammon?” And he says, “Well, eventually. Let me ask the girls—we can give you a ride to Ammon, but we might make a stop on the way.”
M: Turns out they’re going to a wild dance party in the middle of Wadi Rum desert, two hours in the opposite direction.
We get on the bus, and they greet us with tea and sandwiches, then they cranked up the music. It was a full-blown dance party that they’re throwing on our behalf, just because they wanted to welcome us and share this experience with us.
So we didn’t get to the fancy hotel. We didn’t make it home at a reasonable hour. But let me tell you, that couldn’t have worked out better. It’s all about traveling with an open mind, a warm heart, and letting things unfold.
And I imagine that kind of helps to keep the stress levels low. I’m sure you get asked about that a lot, but—well, being in close quarters with another person for so long, that has to be stressful.
A: Oh, for sure. It all looks so glamorous on Instagram, but that’s not real life. We are living on the road. We didn’t know where we were sleeping or what we were eating. Your basics of survival are kind of in question every day when you travel. You don’t know where you’re going to sleep, what you’re going to eat, or how you’re going to get from point A to point B.
You’re reinventing all the time, and yes, that can be stressful. There have been some low moments, but the high moments are over the moon.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BWVWOGuBU36/?taken-by=honeytrek
Like Mike always says, we think of this in terms of chapters. Right now, we’re in this RV chapter—we’ve got this 33-year-old Toyota Sunrader without power steering. It’s got a four-cylinder engine. It’s nothing glamorous, but then again, we didn’t have a closet for five years.
M: We didn’t have our own kitchen, our own bathroom, our own bed. Those things were always changing, so this level of consistency has been really refreshing.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bf02wDNBAWB/?taken-by=honeytrek
We have this adventure-mobile, and we do all these crazy things, but at least the main piece is consistent. It’s our bed. It’s our kitchen, even if it’s not fancy. If you’re nimble and you change how you think about things, the stress of traveling is absolutely manageable.
Do you think that you’ll ever find yourself living in a normal house again? Is that on the horizon, or is that not even something you’re thinking about?
A: It’s nothing we’re thinking about in the near future. We stopped planning at a certain point, and we just let things happen.
And it’s working for now—like they say, don’t fix it if it’s not broken.
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