Category: Mindful Parenting

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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

5 Parenting Strategies To Help Instill Gratitude In Your Little Ones

We all want to raise the kid who says please and thank you and picks up the fast food cup some jerk dropped just a foot from the garbage can—aka the kid who is not that cup-dropping jerk.
But how do you raise a gracious child? When the average 11-year-old is walking around with a $600 smartphone in their hands and the word “entitlement” is thrown around like it’s going out of style, instilling gratitude in your kids can feel like climbing a mountain.
But before you throw up your hands, here are a few practical tips to consider.

What’s the big deal, anyway?

It’s pretty obvious that gratitude is a part of being a good human being. Teaching our kids to appreciate the things they have and the people around them—helping them be kind to other humans and the earth—is part of raising good citizens who will give back to the world at large as adults.
But we’re not just doing it for the world. Teaching gratitude benefits our kids themselves, too.
Scientists have found ample evidence that being gracious actually helps make us healthier people, both physically and mentally. Researchers at the University of Manchester in England, for example, found that adults who wrote in a gratitude journal fell asleep faster and stayed asleep longer than those who skipped the practice. Better sleep isn’t all they can get out of the deal. Researchers in Taiwan looked at gratitude in athletes back in 2013 and they found a correlation between athletes’ gratitude and boosted self-esteem.
So how do we get our kids sleeping better, feeling better about themselves, and geared up to grow into the philanthropic nice guys and girls we want to be around?

1. Give/Save/Spend

Whether it’s birthday cash from Grandma or $5 they picked up dog-sitting for the neighbors, kids love having their own money. Teaching them early on that money isn’t just for spending can help them not only learn wise money-management skills but also offer up some lessons in gratitude.
Begin the practice of having them split their money three ways: Some can be spent, some can be saved, and some should be set aside to give to a local charity of their choosing. It doesn’t have to be much (that $5 for dog-sitting won’t go that far anyway!), but even small donations that come from the heart instill a message that goes both ways.
To help keep it going, create a give/save/spend jar for their separate sums, or buy a cool piggy bank with different slots for the money.

2. Talk the talk.

Giving money (and food, clothes, and toys) to charity is a wonderful thing. Lives can be changed by donations. But anyone who spends time volunteering will tell you that physically getting out there and doing something tangible for a charity they support offers something mere donations don’t: A chance to see the fruits of your labor.
Take the kids to the local animal shelter to cuddle some cats who don’t get a lot of love. Tackle a messy roadside with garbage bags and gloves. Swing by the homeless shelter and ask if they need help dicing potatoes or serving soup. Your kids won’t just make a difference; they’ll get to see why giving back matters.

3. Make it a game.

You don’t need to drag kids to the thankful mountain. Bring the mountain to them with games that sneak lessons on gratitude into the fun. Do they love playing Uno? Make whoever throws down a wild card say the name of one person they’re thankful for. Are they fans of hopscotch? Each time they land on an odd number, they have to offer up one place they’re thankful for. You know your kids best, and you can help ensure that their creativity, gratitude, and love of play unite.

4. Practice what you preach.

As their role models, it’s on us not just to remind kids to show appreciation and kindness but to do it ourselves. Think of how many times you said “Mama” until they finally associated the sounds with you: the person. Now consider how many times you will have to say “please” and “thank you” before it sinks in. You’re welcome!

5. Write it down.

It’s not always easy to appreciate the people we live with, especially when they’re hogging the bathroom in the morning or eating the last of the cereal. Creating a family kindness ritual can change that. Ask everyone in your household to write kind notes for Mom and Dad, siblings, kiddos, and even spouses on Post-its and have them stick their notes of gratitude up in surprising places. If your kids are too young to write, you can do it for them. Not only will the act of writing their grateful thoughts down require your child to think about the good in others, but finding a surprising place to post the note (and knowing they might find some for themselves, too) will keep the giving and receiving of gratitude fun.

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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby

Brittny Drye spent hours playing YouTube videos of a baby crying while she was pregnant, but it wasn’t to prep her body for baby. Drye’s 11-year-old cat, Scout, was about to become a big brother, and the founder of Love, Inc. wanted to make sure her fur baby and her “real” baby would get along when she introduced the two.
Raising kids in a house full of pets has gotten a giant thumbs up from the scientific community. Dogs and cats can do everything from helping babies develop healthy immune systems and reducing the chance that they’ll develop allergies to helping kids develop empathy.
But first they have to meet, right?
Here are some ways to facilitate a smooth first interaction between your beloved pet and your newborn baby.

Don’t stop at babyproofing.

You don’t want your pet learning to navigate a home that looks totally new at the same time they’re adjusting to a new arrival. That means some animal-proofing action should begin as soon as you’ve got a sense of where baby is going to be spending most of their sleeping hours.
If you plan to let your pets roam free throughout your home, set up the bassinet, changing table, and the like as soon as possible. Let Fluffy explore, sniffing the furniture so she can get used to the new layout while it’s still baby-free.
If you plan to set down some firm boundaries, put up baby gates or start closing doors weeks before baby’s arrival to help your pet transition. In addition to barriers, you’ll want to work on commands at the door to the baby’s nursery or your bedroom so they’ll become accustomed to you warning them away from the threshold.
Planning to move your pet out of your bed? Invest in a brand new dog or cat bed and start getting them used to their new sleeping arrangements ahead of time.

Piling on the Stuff

Babies come with a whole lot of gear, and the best time to figure out how to use it all is before they actually arrive. Side benefit to trying things out before they show up? You’ll be getting your four-legged friend familiar with it all, too.
If you have a dog (or even a cat) who joins on you regular walks, you can add the stroller to the mix on your next few trips around the neighborhood. They’ll get used to sharing your attention, and by the time you’re ready to nestle baby inside, you’ll be a total boss at opening and closing your stroller.
Next, grab a baby doll and some of the blankets from your baby shower to practice your swaddling technique. Walking around the house and perching on the couch with a “baby” in your arms will get your Fluffy used to your arms being full. This is another chance to practice commands that you can use if you need your jumping dog to stay down when you’re sitting with a real baby in your arms or your curious cat to stop pawing during nursing or snuggles.

Make some noise.

Babies make a lot of noise. It’s nature’s way of ensuring they can alert their parents that they need diaper changes, food, and someone to hold them close. But cats and dogs are both sensitive to sounds—more sensitive than most humans. Animals who are used to a home without that type of noise can be particularly stressed by the sudden introduction of a crying child in what up to this point felt like their environment.
This is where a little old-fashioned exposure therapy can make all the difference. Take a page out of Drye’s book and get your buddy used to baby noises in the house. YouTube videos, visits from friends’ babies, and even movies with noisy babies can do the trick.

The nose knows.

While you’re homing in on your pet’s senses, don’t forget to consider their nose. Dogs in particular relate pleasure with the scent of their owners, so take advantage of that by adding baby scents to your body pre-baby. You can borrow baby’s lotion for your after-shower routine or try out baby shampoo (hey, you need to get used to it yourself!)
Start washing your clothes in the soon-to-be baby’s detergent, and do the same for any animal bedding or toys that you send through the laundry.
Once baby’s born, ask a friend or partner to take one of the blankets your newborn has been snuggling in at the hospital home to your pet so they can sniff it and begin to get used to the scent of their new sibling before you make the actual face-to-face introduction.

Keep calm and carry on.

Putting in the work ahead of time will make your pet feel less like they’re being replaced and more like they’re a part of your changing life. And when it’s finally time for that first face-to-face, your calming presence can make all the difference.
Just remember: Don’t put too much pressure on anyone—your pet or yourself. Sparky may or may not be interested, and that’s okay. Showing them plenty of love and attention, at least the sort of love you showed pre-baby and as much attention as you can give for the time being, is key to making sure your pets don’t feel abandoned in favor of the new baby.
Soon, baby will be big enough to learn all the fun that comes with having an animal companion around their home and in their heart.

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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

One Mother's Awesome Response When Her Daughter Called Her Fat

Maintaining a positive body image isn’t always easy. There are lots of messages out there telling us to be ashamed of how we look—especially those of us who weigh more than society says we should.
It can also be tricky to know how to talk about all of this. People who want to be sensitive about the way overweight people are often treated search for just the right word to use as a descriptor while not being insulting. And they frequently find themselves at a loss for words.
Self-help author Allison Kimmey has the right approach—and for the record, she doesn’t view the word “fat” as an insult.

HealthyWay
Allison Kimmey/Instagram

When Kimmey overheard her daughter use that word in anger, she decided that she had to do something about it.
Many mothers would immediately punish their children for using “fat” as an insult. Kimmey, however, doesn’t believe in the effectiveness of that approach.
“Each moment these topics come up, I have to choose how I’m going to handle them,” she wrote. “‘Fat’ is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it, then I am proving that it is an insulting word, and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical, and undesirable.”
HealthyWay
Allison Kimmey/Instagram

“Since we don’t call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume that she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else,” she continued. “Our children are fed ideas from every angle. You have to understand that that will happen; at a friend’s house whose parents have different values, watching a TV show or movie, overhearing someone at school—ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds.”
“It is our job to be the loudest, most accepting, positive, and consistent voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest.”

Here’s how Kimmey responded to her daughter’s words (text taken directly from Allison Kimmey’s Instagram page).

“She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat.”
Me: “What did you say about me?”
Her: “I said you were fat, mama, im sorry”

HealthyWay
Allison Kimmey/Instagram

Me: “Let’s talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?”
Her: “Yes! I have some here on my tummy”
Me: “Actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.
“Her brother: “Oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me”
HealthyWay
Allison Kimmey/Instagram

Me: “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have very much. But that doesn’t mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand?
Both: “Yes, mama”
Me: “So can you repeat what I said”
Them: “Yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it’s okay to have different fat”
Me: “Exactly right!”

Kimmey’s exchange went viral almost instantly, and for good reason.

She’s doing a great job of showing a healthy, positive way to deal with body shaming.

HealthyWay
Allison Kimmey/Instagram

Kimmey has more parenting wisdom to share. She recently announced that she’s working on a children’s book about body confidence. The book will be available for pre-order this month, and it should hit store shelves in autumn. For more information, follow Kimmey on Instagram here.

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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

When The Dangers of Drowning Follow Your Kid Out of the Pool

Dry Drowning
Dry drowning. It sounds terrifying like it has to be a work of fiction, but recently dry drowning has been a buzzword that’s circulated through mom groups and Facebook posts. I recently was scrolling through my Facebook feed when a mother from my mom’s group posted this outrageously titled article. “Dry Drowning.” I laughed to myself thinking it was another scare tactic that I had become all too familiar this past year after having my first child. But, for once, I had time to kill waiting in the pediatrician’s office. As I read, my attitude changed from slight indifference to absolute horror. When they called my daughter’s name I couldn’t have flown quicker through that door.
When the physician finally arrived she only got out a “How is…” before I cut her off.
“Dry drowning, is this a real thing? Should I not be letting her get in the pool this summer since she’s only a baby? I was thinking of doing a mommy and me swimming class, but CLEARLY that’s not an option.  Why have I never heard of this before?”  My torrent of questions filled the room quicker than you could come up for air.
But alas, like every physician mine was no different in calming my well warranted but rather unnecessary concerns. She was quick to point out that there are two types of “dry drowning” (greaaat), but the amount of children that are affected are so low that there aren’t even statistics on the matter.
The Breakdown
Secondary drowning only occurs when your child is around a body of water, whether it’s the pool, lake, or bathtub. They’ll inhale a small amount of water, cough it up, and then proceed on their merry way. The water that they’ve inhaled, which you think they’ve coughed up, can sometimes become trapped in their lungs. When the body cannot efficiently remove the water the lungs become irritated and secrete a fluid, as a result children drown, not in water, but in their own bodily fluids.  Dry drowning occurs when water is inhaled, but it doesn’t make its way into your child’s lungs. It instead causes a spasm that eventually causes the airway to become constricted and closed (CBS).
Recently, there have been stories across media outlets with mothers posting pictures and stories in order to raise awareness of these tragic situations because they can be so easily prevented. Since there is hardly any dialog about this type of drowning, unnecessary deaths have occurred. It sounds incredibly scary, but it’s actually very easy to spot and even easier to fix.
Signs
Signs may appear hours or up to a day after the incident. If you noticed your child spluttering in the water it’s important to keep this type of disaster in the back of your mind, and if you see any of these signs you should IMMEDIATELY take your child to the ER instead of the pediatrician. Dry or secondary drowning will typically present itself with one or more of these symptoms after a close call in the water:
-Coughing: if your child continues to cough and wheeze with labored breathing then he or she needs to be evaluated.
-Working for breath: rapid shallow breathing, intense concentration, overly pronounced movements between their ribs or above their collarbones, and nostril flaring are all signs that your child is struggling for breath. This is not normal if they’re at a resting period or if it goes on longer than a minute.
-Sleepiness: it’s normal for your child to be whipped after a day at the pool. However, there’s a big difference from being sleepy and needing a nap, to being incredibly lethargic and unable to do normal activities. If you feel like your child is abnormally tired it’d probably be a good idea to get a green light from a physician before putting them to sleep.
-Forgetful or odd behavior: if your child is losing oxygen he or she may begin to act erratically. They can forget things, feel sick, woozy, or becoming increasingly agitated.
-Vomiting: throwing up is a huge red flag that should instantly be taken seriously. This is a definite sign that they’re not getting enough oxygen and the vomiting can result from their short breaths, gagging, and inflammation in the lungs (Parents).
What’s Next
There’s not a set cure-all for this type of situation. Once your child has been inspected at the ER the physician may just have you keep an eye on him or her. This can be rather nerve-wracking and you can always opt for an overnight for safety precautions. In other cases, if their oxygen levels are too low they may bive them oxygen until their levels become stabilized. In situations where their respiratory functions are failing, they may hook them up to a ventilator, but again this is a very extreme and rare scenario.
Prevention
The best way to prevent this kind of scare is to enroll your children in swimming lessons. Clearly mishaps may happen in these as well, but if they’re better equipped to fair water then the chances of this happening down the road are even slimmer. It’s also important to not leave young children unattended next to a lake or pool as they can quickly topple in at the blink of an eye. Flotation devices are another method that ensures water safety. Overall, dry and secondary drowning are incredibly rare, but it is extremely important to educate yourself so that you can identify this situation not only in your child but other children as well.
Hopefully, you’ll be able to educate other mothers with this information and be able to breathe easier next time you’re out for some swim time fun!