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Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

Tilted Uterus: What It Is, What Causes It, And How It Affects Women

These days, women have more information than ever when it comes to their reproductive health.
Women’s health is (finally!) being taken seriously by the medical community and thanks to technological advancements that allow us to better understand our bodies, modern women have more understanding about their reproductive health systems than women of any other generation. All that knowledge is empowering, but it also means that more women are finding out that they have anatomical differences, like a tilted or reverted uterus.
When it comes to reproductive health, emotions run high, so hearing that you have a tilted uterus can be scary. Is something wrong with you? Could this affect your chances of getting pregnant and delivering a healthy baby? Although most of us probably don’t give too much thought to our uteruses in day-to-day life, it’s still important to know that your reproductive system is healthy, and that it will be ready if you decide you want to have children.
Luckily, having a tilted uterus is usually just another variable when it comes to the ways our bodies are all made a little differently. Usually it’s nothing to be alarmed about.
However, there are some instances in which having a tilted uterus can indicate an underlying health concern, or can lead to trouble getting pregnant.
HealthyWay talked to women’s health and fertility specialists to answer all of the most common questions about having a tilted uterus. Here’s what you should know about having a tilted uterus, and how this condition affects conception, pregnancy, and delivery.

What is a tilted uterus?

Most people, including medical professionals, use the term “tilted uterus” to mean a uterus that points toward a woman’s back. This is also known as a retroverted uterus.
Many women are born with a uterus that is straight up and down within the abdomen, which is considered standard positioning. However, many woman have a uterus that tilts after the cervix, the opening to the uterus. The most common type of tilt is a uterus that leans slightly to the front, known as an anteverted uterus. A retroverted uterus—usually referred to simply as a tilted uterus—is the opposite of that.
Bat-Sheva L. Maslow, MD, a reproductive endocrinologist at Extend Fertility in New York City, says that having a tilted uterus is just another variation of normal, similar to being left-handed.
“While less common, having a retroverted uterus is not abnormal,” she says. In fact, about one in five women around the world have a tilted uterus.

Why do I have a tilted uterus?

If you’ve been told that you have a tilted uterus, you’re probably wondering how a tilted uterus develops. In most cases, this is just the way you were born.
“This condition can be the way some women are built; it is perfectly natural,” says Joshua M. Hurwitz, an OB-GYN and board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist at Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut.
However, in some cases there are physical changes within the body that cause a tilted uterus. The most common is from scar tissue caused by endometriosis or fibroids. This scar tissue can weigh the uterus down, or pull in toward the back, resulting in a retroverted uterus. These conditions can also create scar tissue in the abdomen, which can then push the uterus backward. Women who have a tilted uterus accompanied by pain should talk to their doctors about whether they have any other signs of endometriosis, a condition in which the lining of the uterus grows outside the womb.
Other women might develop a tilted uterus after pregnancy. That’s because the ligaments that hold the uterus in place stretch and loosen during pregnancy, so after delivery the uterus can settle in a new position, resulting in a retroverted uterus. Menopause can cause this as well since the ligaments holding the uterus relax as estrogen drops, allowing the uterus to slip into a tilted position.
Because these conditions are all beyond your control, there is no way for a woman to prevent developing a tilted uterus.

What are the signs I might have a tilted uterus?

A woman with a tilted uterus will most often not have any signs or symptoms according to Phil Chenette, MD, a board-certified specialist in reproductive endocrinology and infertility with Pacific Fertility Center in San Francisco.
“Most women with a tilted uterus never know until it is found on pelvic exam or a pelvic ultrasound exam,” he says. Although it’s easy for a doctor to diagnose the condition during a routine exam or ultrasound, the women who have the condition usually have no signs, so a retroverted uterus usually goes unnoticed.
However, some women who have a tilted uterus will experience symptoms. A woman with a tilted uterus might experience menstrual cramps as pain that is located more toward her back than her abdomen, Maslow says. Additionally, some women who have a tilted uterus will experience more severe pain with menstruation—although that’s usually because of another underlying health issue like endometriosis (more on that in a moment).
A woman who has a tilted uterus might also experience pain during intercourse or while using tampons if her tilt is severe, Maslow explains. That’s because in some cases the uterus can tilt so severely that it puts pressure on the vagina. However, Maslow underscores that these symptoms are rare.
“The vast majority of women with retroverted uteri will experience no symptoms and not know they even have one unless a doctor has told them,” she says.

Is is harder to get pregnant with a tilted uterus?

Many women who hear that they have a retroverted uterus worry that having a tilted uterus will affect conception. The good news is that most of the time a woman with a tilted uterus will not have have a more difficult time getting pregnant that anyone else.
“As a fertility specialist, I do not believe there is any connection at all between a tilted uterus and infertility,” says Hurwitz. “Only in those exceptional cases where scar tissue from endometriosis or surgeries has caused this uterus to be mechanically displaced is there a tie-in to fertility problems.”
Chenette says that when a uterus is severely tilted it can lead to trouble conceiving. Some women have an acute retroversion, where the cervix has a tilt that is between 90 and 180 degrees, he says. Women with a more severe tilt and a sharper curve in their uterus are more likely to have trouble conceiving.
“Some women have a sharp hockey stick kind of curve and some have a slow gradual rounded curve,” Chenette says.
Having a significant tilt can prevent sperm from reaching the egg in women with a tilted uterus, thus making it more difficult to get pregnant.
“Since traversing those angles as a sperm cell can be challenging, women with a significant tilt can experience longer times to conception,” Chenette says.
If a woman with a tilted uterus is having trouble getting pregnant and all other infertility causes have been ruled out, a doctor might recommend intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization. During intrauterine insemination, a doctor places sperm in the main body of the uterus using a catheter. This way, sperm do not need to navigate the bend of a tilted uterus, and more of them are likely to reach the egg, increasing the chances of conception. During in vitro fertilization, an embryo (a fertilized egg) is placed in the uterus above the tilted portion. If this embryo successfully implants, the patient will become pregnant.
Although both procedures are highly effective even when a patient has a tilted uterus, Chenette says that assisted reproduction is a bit more complicated for a woman who has a tilted uterus.
“It takes an experienced doctor to perform insemination or embryo transfer in these patients,” he says. “The same cervical curve that produces the original problem can make insemination or embryo transfer challenging.”
However, usually a woman with a tilted uterus can become pregnant, even if she requires assistance.
“Careful ultrasound guidance and an experienced hand almost always solves this problem,” Chenette says.

How does a tilted uterus affect pregnancy and birth?

Although a tilted uterus can make conception tricky in some cases, it should not affect pregnancy at all.
“Once a woman conceives, which most do, the pregnancy proceeds normally,” Chenette says.
During pregnancy, the uterus expands rapidly. It starts off at about the size of an orange, and grows to the size of a grapefruit by the 12th week according to the American Pregnancy Association. By week 20 (halfway through pregnancy) the uterus usually reaches a woman’s belly button, and by full term the uterus is the size of a watermelon, stretching to the bottom of a woman’s rib cage. All of that growth works to correct the position of a tilted uterus.
“As the uterus grows with a pregnancy, it comes out of the pelvis and ‘unfolds,’” Maslow says. “By the time the baby is large enough for the mom to feel its movements, the uterus is typically out of the pelvis and you really no longer see much of a difference between those that are folded forwards or backwards.”
Whether or not the mother-to-be had a tilted uterus before pregnancy will not affect her during delivery, Maslow says.
“By the time the baby is term, there is no distinction between the way the uterus had been folded and as far as I know there isn’t any data to support that having a retroverted uterus has any impact on delivery outcomes,” she says.

How can a tilted uterus affect your sex life?

Sometimes a woman with a tilted uterus will experience pain during penetrative sex, if her tilt is severe enough that it is putting pressure on her vagina. Pain during sex is most commonly experienced by women who have endometriosis in addition to tilted uteri, so if you experience this, be sure to mention it to your doctor so you can discuss any other signs of symptoms you have that might be associated with endometriosis, Chenette says.
Most often there is a simple solution to pain experienced during intercourse, he adds.
“Sometimes a change in position is enough to relieve the discomfort,” he says.

What are the treatments for a tilted uterus?

Because a woman with a tilted uterus usually has no symptoms, there is often no need to correct the condition.
“The condition is not worrisome or dangerous at all and there is nothing to do about it or treat,” Hurwitz says.
However, if your tilted uterus is causing you pain either during sexual activity or during your period, your doctor will likely be able to recommend some treatments. One correction that you can try at home is doing a knee-to-chest exercise, according to Hurwitz. To try to reposition your tilted uterus using this exercise, lie on your back on the floor. Raise your right knee to your chest, holding for 15 to 30 seconds. Then, return that foot to the foot and draw your left knee up toward your chest. Do ten repetitions per side, three times each day. Even when knee-to-chest exercises aren’t enough to correct a tilted uterus, they can help with back pain that women with a severely tilted uterus can experience, Hurwitz says.
For women who have lots of pain that is caused by or made worse by a tilted uterus, doctors may recommend surgery to reposition the uterus. This is very rare, and usually only done when a woman has a tilted uterus that is associated with endometriosis, Hurwitz says.
Living a healthy lifestyle can help reduce pelvic pain, including the pain associated with a tilted uterus, Chenette says.
“Stress reduction and mindfulness techniques, as well as reducing alcohol and [improving] nutrition, can reduce some of the symptoms of pelvic pain,” he says.

So should you be worried about having a tilted uterus?

Unless you are having severe associated symptoms, having a tilted uterus isn’t anything to stress over.
“It is important to remember that a uterus can point in any direction: up, down, to either side, and even be rotated,” Hurwitz says. “This does not mean there is a medical, fertility, or pregnancy problem at all.”
In fact, the toughest part about having a tilted uterus is often finding out that you have the condition.
“I think the worst part for a woman hearing that she has a ‘tilted uterus’ is the anxiety and worry that the label places on her anatomy, which really does not have any negative effect anyway,” Hurwitz says.
Today it’s totally normal to hop online and research any new medical condition, but going down that rabbit hole can be scary. The experts who spoke with HealthyWay all emphasized that for most women having a tilted uterus is nothing to worry about.

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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

Creating A Little Yogi: How To Introduce Your Kids To Yoga

Is there anything cuter than a kid practicing yoga? When my nephew was 3, he took yoga at preschool and my sister sent me the video of him doing a sun salutation. He narrated the entire sequence (“and namaste”), but my favorite moment was when he jumped from downward dog to standing forward bend and said, “and give it a hop!” I died.
Yoga is, of course, not just for adults. While kids may not need it the way we do—they are already super flexible and hopefully not at all stressed—it can still be beneficial, especially as they progress in school and life becomes more challenging. And even if it doesn’t turn them into little meditators, it can be a wonderful source of fun: Who doesn’t want to be a frog or a lion?
Even more remarkable than my nephew’s little sun salutations is how yoga was used in the preschool classroom. The program was full of easy-to-do exercises for large groups in a classroom setting—reaching arms up and down, bending over and stretching legs—but mostly it was yogic breathing. The exercises were meant to calm the kids down and create a sense of quiet and ease in the classroom. One day I observed them and it really worked. The whole classroom went silent. It was a revelation.  
This is perhaps the biggest boon to a yoga practice, even for kids: the ability to calm down without the aid of a device or a parent or engaging in a full-on meltdown. But it’s not the only one.
Here are some other benefits of practicing yoga with your kids or enrolling them in a class.

Concentration

There’s something to focusing on a single task—breathe in, breathe out; balance on one leg—that helps kids develop the ability to concentrate on one activity at a time. That’s a boon in this moment of device overload.

Balance

Practicing standing on one leg, or your hands or head, can not only help with body and spatial awareness, but it’s practice for balancing in less…literal ways.

Positive Body Image/Confidence

This is especially good for preteens and teens. Yoga allows you to be with/in your body on your mat without judgement or pressure. You see all the incredible things your amazing body can do! Backbend, twist, forward bend, balance! It can help a lot with the self-love.

Group Activity That’s Not Competitive

No one is being left out! No one is winning or losing. No one is being picked last. Win–win!

Body Awareness

Yoga works on gross motor skills and also on much finer motor skills: When you’re balancing on one foot, even a microscopic shift can make you fall over! The practice is a wonderful way to become aware of all the ways tiny shifts in how we hold ourselves and behave generally make a difference in our days.

Strength and Flexibility

Some kids need more musculature, some more flexibility—yoga develops both, and not just on a physical level. A kid who needs more strength can carry those teachings into her life (“I can be stronger and tougher!”). A kid who is tight can learn to loosen up not just in his hamstrings, but off the mat as well (“maybe I can go with the flow a little more…”)
Want to bring yoga to your kids at home? Cosmic Kids and Gaia are wonderful places to start. Watch or download whatever classes your kid likes. (This is a great place to begin, but always best to find a live teacher!)
Namaste.

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Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

6 Real Moms Share Their Pre-Birth Anxieties (And What Really Wound Up Happening)

As a first-time mom, I entered into my labor and delivery with a lot of confidence. I was going to manage my pain well. I was going to have a natural birth. I believed that there was nothing to be afraid of.
When things didn’t go as planned, however, my confidence was crushed. Although I was happy to have a healthy baby, I found the pain of labor unbearable. Nearly two years later, as the birth of my second baby approached, I found myself completely overwhelmed with anxiety about experiencing it again.
Feeling worried about or even fearful of giving birth is normal. However, when those anxieties become debilitating, it is probably time to take a closer looking at what is driving the fear. It may be necessary to get a little extra support.
These six moms tell HealthyWay all about their pre-birth anxieties and share exactly how things turned out.

1. Fear of the Unknown

For new mom Annie Logue, it was the newness of being pregnant and giving birth that gave her anxiety. She tells HealthyWay she found herself caught up in fear of the unknown as her due date approached.
To ease her worries, Logue tried to regularly remind herself just how common childbirth is, and she did it with a sense of humor. Her positive mindset got her through until she gave birth to her healthy child.
“I reminded myself that there were seven billion people in the world,” she says. “So this was clearly not THAT hard.”

2. Fear for the Baby’s Well-Being

For women who have had a negative pregnancy or birthing experience, it is typical to feel concerned that the next birth experience will be negative as well. One mom, Nikki Haverstock, shares with HealthyWay that losing a baby two years prior created a lot of fear for her during her most recent pregnancy. Adding to her anxiety was the fact that she was considered to be an older mother, so she felt she had a lot to worry about.
“I talked to a therapist, spent a lot of time with my religion, and hours of walking,” she shares “I ended up having a perfect c-section and a healthy baby boy.”
Like Haverstock, Ramsey Hootman found herself consumed with anxiety over the birth of her third child after her second baby was stillborn.
“I even ended up in the ER once because I was so anxious,” she says.
Although Hootman did have a quick and relatively easy birth, she struggled for a long time to connect with her baby. In the end, what helped the most was giving herself grace as she learned what it was like to be a new mom after loss.

3. Fear About Timing

When it was time to give birth to my third, I experienced a brand new anxiety: I started to worry about getting my older kids to their grandparents’ house if I went into labor during the night. I’m not alone in this worry. In fact, two moms shared that juggling the timing of labor has been a concern for them.
“I was so worried that I’d go into labor overnight and our childcare wouldn’t be available,” Shana Westlake shares. “I was mostly worried that my husband would have to stay with her in the waiting room, leaving me alone.”
Talking with her provider helped and knowing that her toddler could be in the delivery room if need be eased her worries about being without her husband while she labored. In the end, her firstborn was at preschool when the baby came and was able to go home with a friend that afternoon.
For Kelly Burch, it’s the drive to the hospital that is causing her worry.
“I now live 45 minutes from the hospital, so my biggest anxiety this time is giving birth on the side of the road,” she shares. “Once my first daughter finally decided to come, she came fast, and a 45-minute drive in labor sounds like hell.”
Burch is still expecting, but has made a point to discuss her fears with her husband in preparation for the big day.

4. Fear of the Pain

It is common knowledge that birth is an incredibly painful experience and many moms feel ill-equipped to deal with that pain. Like me, Emily Farmer Popek found herself consumed with fears about how much pain she would experience during labor and delivery.
She found the most comfort in a little coaching from her mom, who helped her reach a point of being able to experience pain without fear. She also worked diligently at trusting her body, the process of birth, and the medical professionals helping her give birth.
“It was super helpful to hold on to that idea of, ‘I can experience pain without experiencing fear,’” she tells HealthyWay.
Another mom, who asked to remain anonymous, shared that she also found the uncertainty about the pain and how she would handle it to be intimidating. After her mother told her how painful her first birth was, she found herself worrying about the pain and having no control over the situation.
Ultimately, it was hiring a doula that brought her peace of mind.
“I really wanted someone in my corner (besides my husband) who clearly knew what I wanted and would be by my side the whole time,” she says.

Facing Pre-Birth Anxieties

If you have found yourself so worried about giving birth that you are having a difficult time coping with the fear, take action. During the day-to-day of your pregnancy, a mindfulness meditation practice can be helpful. Take a few minutes each day to practice, using guided meditation like these free recordings from the UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center.
Create a support system for yourself, sharing your concerns with your partner, family, and close friends. Consider [linkbuilder id=”6713″ text=”hiring a doula”] who has experience working with moms who are struggling with anxiety. Your OB-GYN can also be a great source of support and they can offer guidance on additional steps you can take, like developing a pain-management plan you can implement during labor and delivery and referring you to a therapist to see during your pregnancy.

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More Than Mom Motherhood

How I Make Myself A Priority: Tips From A Busy Mom

Last summer, I was not in a good mental space. My business was going very well, which was wonderful, but that meant I was working more than ever. My husband had started a new high-stress job and was basically non-existent on the homefront; my daughter was being a full-force threenager, with all the boundary testing that entails. When a miscarriage added an additional heap of physical and emotional turmoil, I realized that in order to survive, I needed to start putting myself higher up on my priority list.
With everything seemingly in shambles, I revamped my existing routines and started new ones, changing my day to allow for more self-care and quiet time.
Most moms could benefit from putting more focus on self-care. Whether you are going through a particularly tough time like I was or you’re just feeling bogged down by the stress of motherhood, making time for yourself can leave you feeling happier and more balanced. If you’re preparing to start a new job or welcome a new baby, taking a bit of time for yourself can help you recharge to face the challenges of those changes with ease.
Fitting self-care in as a busy mom is challenging, but essential. Here’s what worked for me:

Learning to Let Go

Truth be told, I was always jealous of my husband’s ability to take care of his needs. Although I might feel frustrated when he was reading or playing games without noticing the mess around him, I also wished that I could do the same, going for a walk when I needed some alone time or taking time for a hobby even when there were dishes to be done.
Last summer, I started doing just that, taking a page out of his playbook. Now when I want (or need) to relax for a minute, I don’t ask myself whether the dishes are done, the floor is swept, or the bills are paid. I just take care of me. All that other stuff can wait. This might mean waking up to dirty dishes or having laundry sit in baskets for a while, but taking away the self-imposed pressure to always be productive has cleared lots of mental space.

Getting Physical

I always feel better when I’m working out regularly, and even if this isn’t the case for you, exercise has proven benefits. If you hate the gym, find a fun movement routine that works for you, like gentle yoga at home or even a dance class. Rather than squeezing in my workout around client calls and childcare obligations, I now make it an integral part of my day that is booked right into my calendar.
Most days I go to the gym before taking my daughter to school (she protests, but tough luck, kid). If I can’t go early, I work out after school drop-off, even if that means getting a slightly later start to the work day. The key is figuring out what time will work for your schedule and making fitness a priority.

Choosing Indulgences

Everyone has an activity that can instantly make them feel more relaxed and centered. For me, that is a hot bath. I would hate to reveal what I spend on bath bombs and wood-wick candles, but the truth is that those expenses are investments in my mental health. Most nights I end my day with a long, hot, relaxing bath where I don’t worry about anyone or anything beyond that locked bathroom door, and that is priceless.

Knowing My Limits

Most women tend to spread themselves thin, taking from their own reserves to care for friends and family members. Although it’s still a work in progress, I’ve learned to recognize my limits and say no more often. Whether that means doing fewer extracurriculars with my daughter, declining a work project, or RSVPing no to a social engagement, I now weigh how much time and emotional work is required for an activity before I say yes.
Self-care can sound like a buzzword, but until you’re doing it, it’s hard to understand how life-changing it can be.
In the past nine months I’ve seen real changes: I’m more patient with my daughter and less likely to bicker with my husband. I have more energy and motivation to tackle challenging projects at work and at home. All of that, I believe, has come from finally giving myself permission to make time for me.

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Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

What Do Contractions Really Feel Like? 5 Moms And A Doctor Answer

When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, I obsessed over every twinge of pain, trying to determine if I’d had my first contraction. I wondered constantly: What do contractions feel like? What will labor be like?
I also experienced what I can only describe as pregnancy-induced rage when women would say with a knowing smile, “Oh, you’ll just know,” when I asked what real contractions feel like.
Instead, I was left to anxiously pore over pregnancy message boards reading other women’s experiences of going into labor.
The night before I had my first contraction, we’d headed to the hospital because I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid. I wasn’t, but the triage nurse told me I was probably in the initial stages of labor.
So, when I felt that first contraction, I suspected my labor had started, although I wasn’t sure, because I didn’t know exactly what to expect. And I was scared out of my maternity panties.
contractions 5
All that stuff they teach you in childbirth class? Right out the window.
Until I realized, Hey, my body was made to do this. And in that moment, as my husband frantically ran around our house throwing stuff in a bag like a first-time dad on TV, I remained pretty calm. Because here’s the deal: A baby is going to come out of you one way or another.
But giving birth isn’t and shouldn’t be a scary experience! There’s no need to be nervous about giving birth. We’re going to tell you exactly what contractions feel like, how to manage your contractions through labor, and answer all your contraction questions.
Here’s everything you never knew you needed to know about what contractions feel like.
contractions 7

So what are contractions, anyway?

Short answer: Contractions are your body’s way of gearing up for labor.
But what if I told you there are actually two types of contractions? In addition to those contractions—the ones that kickstart your labor—there are Braxton Hicks contractions, also known as false labor contractions.
And what do Braxton Hicks contractions feel like? Those are more of a tightening in your abdomen, but you’ll know they’re not real, we’re-about-to-have-a-baby contractions because they’re sporadic, painless, and will usually stop if you rest or drink a glass of water.
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So how the heck are you supposed to know the difference?
Braxton Hicks are contractions as well, just not powerful enough to cause cervical change,” says Heather Bartos, an OB-GYN at Be. Women’s Health and Wellness Center near Denton, Texas. “Labor starts when there are persistent contractions and cervical change.”

What do contractions feel like?

You asked, and oh, baby, did we answer.
While contractions do usually signal the beginning of labor, how they feel can vary wildly from woman to woman.
“Imagine the worst menstrual cramp you’ve ever had,” says Bartos. ”Now imagine that all of the sudden you want to punch your partner in the face because it hurts so bad, like you’re trying to pass a huge bowel movement.  But you physically can’t get to them to punch them because it hurts too bad every three minutes or so. It almost brings you to your knees and takes your breath away.”
And that, ladies, is what contractions feel like.
Sounds great, right?
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We also spoke to real moms and asked the question What do contractions feel like?
Ali Garrett, a veteran mom who’s given birth twice, says, “With my second baby, I had textbook contractions. When my contractions began, it felt like my belly was shrinking; a tightening if you will. It didn’t hurt, but it got my attention.”
Garrett had experienced Braxton Hicks throughout her pregnancy, but these contractions were the real deal.
“These contractions would last about 30 seconds, as opposed to Braxton Hicks, which would last about 10 seconds, but didn’t increase in pain or pressure.”
New mom Dora Smith-Cook says, “For me, contractions came on suddenly. They felt like a very intense version of menstrual cramps. Lots of pressure and tightening in my lower abdomen. It was a dull but powerful pain, almost like a vibration that shook my whole lower body.”
I gave birth six months ago, and my early contractions also felt like intense period cramping. Early on, I definitely felt the ebb and flow of a contraction like doctors describe. But closer to delivery, contractions came so fast I didn’t even have time to breathe through them.

Great, now I know what contractions feel like, but when will they start?

Now, I’m not saying your friend’s sister’s niece who had zero contractions during her labor is telling a fib, but…she’s probably not telling the truth either.
“99.9 percent of women will feel contractions,” says Bartos. “And they are painful.  I don’t know who that 0.01 percent woman is but I’d like to meet her!”
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While Bartos says that most women will begin having intermittent labor contractions as early as 37 weeks, sometimes contractions aren’t felt until well into active labor.
Amanda Johnson, who gave birth to her son about four weeks before her due date, says, “My water broke first, and I didn’t even realize that I was having contractions until the nurses hooked me up to the monitor. For me, strong contractions didn’t begin until I was almost ready to push.”
When your water breaks, sometimes it will sort of feel like a hot water balloon has burst…inside you. But your bag of waters doesn’t always come out in a gush. Sometimes it’s like a trickle and can feel exactly like you’re peeing yourself (a sensation most pregnant women are already very familiar with).
Whether it comes out in a trickle or a gush, you can expect labor to begin within 12 to 24 hours if your water breaks, so get thee to the hospital pronto.

Contractions are happening! When should I head to the hospital?

Most doctors recommend following the 4-1-1 rule, which does not mean dialing information for the name of the pizza place down the street.
If your contractions are consistently four minutes apart, lasting about one minute each time, for about an hour, you should probably give your doctor a call and let them know you’re heading to the hospital.
If you want to labor at home longer, your doctor may okay it, but Bartos says it’s time to head to the hospital when the contractions feel like they are too much to bear, or if you start shivering or shaking a lot. These could be signs that you’re in transition, which means you’re dilated to around 7 centimeters.
contractions 1
Of course, it would be too easy if everyone had a textbook labor and delivery.
“With my first baby, I had no warning signs I was in labor until my water broke,” says Garrett. “Then contractions came quickly and painfully, without any warning.”
For most first time moms, it can be hours before your contractions reach the 4-1-1 mark consistently, and sometimes labor can stall altogether if contractions don’t continue to build.
“[My contractions] got closer together after a few hours, and occasionally I would have two back to back,” says Smith-Cook. “The level of intensity never really increased, which may have something to do with why I ended up with a c-section. I think if I had been able to deliver vaginally, they would have progressed to a stronger level.”

I heard sometimes you’re given medication to start contractions. Why is that?

Sometimes a doctor decides to administer Pitocin, a common medication given to jumpstart labor, especially if your water has broken but contractions haven’t started yet.
Pitocin is actually a big dose of oxytocin, the same hormone your body produces naturally to stimulate contractions.
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Because it’s a much larger amount of oxytocin designed to stimulate labor, Pitocin contractions can be incredibly intense, and it may be difficult to labor through them without an epidural.
“I was given Pitocin after 24 hours with my first delivery,” says Garrett. “It was like getting struck by lightning; no peak or trough like they teach you in childbirth class, just blinding pain.”

What do contractions feel like during labor?

During labor, your contractions will get progressively more intense, until it’s hard to breathe through them.
It’s at that point that you may decide to get an epidural. “An epidural doesn’t take away the sensation of pressure,” says Bartos. “But the physical pain of contractions are significantly reduced.”
Epidurals can be especially helpful if you’re experiencing back labor, which is often felt when the baby’s head is pressing against your tailbone due to its position in the womb. Epidurals sound kind of scary, but the relief they provide can help you catch a break during labor and replenish your energy for pushing.
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Aubree Dickerson, a first-time mom who gave birth in January, says, “My contractions felt like intense period cramps. It was hard to take a deep breath through them, so I could only take short small breaths. Then I got an epidural and felt nothing. Praise God for that!”
If you want to try to manage the pain of contractions naturally, you can try a ton of different pain management techniques, like good old-fashioned breathing exercises or even hypnotism.
For natural relief of back labor pain, you can try having your partner press firmly against the small of your back each time your experience a contraction. The pressure of their hand counters the weight of the baby’s head, relieving some of the pressure and pain.
So is one pain management technique better than another?
“It depends on the woman,” says Bartos. “Some women really prepare (hypnotherapy, classwork prepping) and do well with more natural techniques, but some women fear those modalities and request anesthesia. Either is a fine choice!”

My doctor says I have plenty of time after contractions start before delivery, but I’m worried about giving birth in the car!

“Once my contractions with my [linkbuilder id=”6718″ text=”second child”] were 10 minutes apart, we went ahead to the hospital, where my water broke five hours later and active labor began,” says Garrett. “Twelve hours later, we had a baby.”
Generally, first-time moms do tend to have a longer labor. Most of the time, active labor for first-time moms lasts between eight and 12 hours.
But sometimes labor can progress quickly, even for first-time moms.
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Take my son’s birth, for example. I had intermittent contractions the night before I gave birth, and the next morning, I sent my husband off to work with the promise that I’d call if I felt anything. An hour later, I was trying to tell him to get home between contractions. About four hours later, our son was born. My contractions came hard and fast, and I felt the need to push within just a few minutes of arriving at the hospital. The nurses had to scramble to set up our room for delivery because they assumed I’d be in labor for hours!
The best thing to do? Head to the hospital whenever you feel like you need to. You’ll get checked out and sent back home if your doctor decides you’re not in active labor.
A few false alarms are totally worth avoiding an impromptu home birth.

Is it true I’ll have contractions after delivery too?

Ah, you sweet little starfish. No one told you that contractions don’t end immediately upon giving birth?
It’s true. They don’t. But, there’s a silver lining! Actually, there are two silver linings.
The first? You have your baby!
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The second? After-labor contractions are nowhere near as painful as the ones felt during labor.
Generally, you’ll feel contractions as you deliver the placenta.
Your uterus was up by your rib cage and it rapidly shrinks down to your belly button—that requires muscle contraction … These are essential for your uterus to return to normal—if this doesn’t happen, a woman can experience significant postpartum bleeding and hemorrhage,” says Bartos.
You may also continue to feel mild contractions for several weeks, particularly when you breastfeed, as your uterus continues to shrink back to its normal size. These contractions feel like manageable period cramps.

Now that I know what contractions feel like, I don’t exactly feel better about giving birth.

So here’s the deal: Giving birth hurts like a mother.
But it really is manageable. I promise.
Now that you know what contractions feel like, you can use this information to reframe your mindset about labor pain.
“Embracing the idea that childbirth is painful (for a short period of time only, thank goodness!) can actually help your brain prepare for such an event,” says Bartos.
And you know what, mama? You’re gonna do great.

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Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

What Pregnancy Hormones Really Do (And How To Deal)

Exhaustion. Tender breasts. Morning sickness. They’re all signs of pregnancy. But almost as important: They’re all signs that pregnancy hormones have kicked into high gear and they’re doing exactly what they need to do to keep you and your baby healthy.
Okay, okay. When you’re running to the bathroom for the third time in an hour, it may not feel like such a great thing. And the ebbs and flows of pregnancy hormones can have you tearing your hair out one minute and then marveling at how thick and lush it is the next. But hormones play a crucial role in helping the body get pregnant, stay pregnant, and prepare for the arrival of a baby.
Unlike your skin, hair, and belly, however, hormonal changes occur without us ever seeing them, making for one of the great mysteries of pregnancy.
What’s really going on at the hormonal level? When can you expect your pregnancy hormones to spike, and how do they change throughout the course of the nine months (give or take) of making a baby?
Let’s dive in!

What’s a hormone anyway?

We might not spend much time thinking about them, but hormones rule our lives. Produced by a number of glands throughout the body—from the pituitary to the thyroid—hormones are essentially chemicals that travel throughout the body, coordinating the functions of our organs and tissues.
“Hormones are for essential for life,” says nurse practitioner and certified nurse midwife Patricia A. Evans of MemorialCare Medical Group in Fountain Valley, California. “[They] contribute [to] and influence immune system functionality and can even affect behavior.”
Hormones also play a major role in puberty, dictating body changes and—in cisgender females—spurring the beginning of the body’s menstrual cycle.
Not having a period? Having periods that are too long or too frequent? All those issues come down to hormones, says Sherry Ross, MD, OB-GYN and women’s health expert at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California. And because fertility is directly tied to the body’s menstrual cycles, doctors will typically test a woman for a hormonal imbalance if she walks in the office citing infertility concerns. Correcting that imbalance can be the key to helping solve infertility woes.
On the other hand, when all of the hormones are right in line, it’s these chemicals floating around the body, keeping everything in check, that help make conception happen.
Not making the connection? That’s okay; you’re not the only one who hasn’t been back to science class in a while.
Diana Bitner, MD, an OB-GYN at Spectrum Health in Grand Rapids, Michigan, broke it down for us. “A correct hormone balance is crucial to getting pregnant, and hormones are in good balance when the ovary is functioning well and the brain and the ovary are communicating well,” she explains. “If the ovary is able to make a good quality egg, then the hormones are right.”
So how does it work?
When a woman is healthy and in the reproductive phase of her life, she’s typically ovulating every 28 to 30 days (depending on a woman’s “normal” cycle). When her period is starting, a new follicle in the ovary is being stimulated by a follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).
“The cells around the immature egg make estrogen in the first half of the cycle,” Bitner explains.
Ovulation, which typically occurs smack dab in the middle of your menstrual cycle, is triggered by yet another hormone: luteinizing hormone (LH for short).
When the follicle stimulated by FSH syncs up with the LH-stimulated ovulation, the follicle releases an egg, Bitner says, and the body’s cells make yet another hormone called progesterone.
“The lining of the uterus is analogous to the ‘lawn,’ and [the hormone] estrogen acts as fertilizer and the progesterone as almost weed-killer to keep it from growing out of control,” Bitner says. Together the hormones help the lining of the uterus mature and get ready for a fertilized egg to plant. If that happens, the fertilized egg will then have a home on the “lawn” to develop into a fetus, the way a seed develops into a flower in your yard.

Pregnancy Hormones: The Big 3

So hormones help you turn all that bedroom fun into an actual pregnancy. Then what? More hormones get in on the action.
After an egg is fertilized by the sperm, it heads to the uterus to implant, and hormones kick in to help the body sustain a pregnancy and help the embryo grow into a fetus. The three main pregnancy hormones are human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), progesterone, and estrogen.

Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG)

A popular fad diet featuring human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) has gotten the stink-eye from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), making the term sound a little scary for a pregnant woman. Fortunately, the hCG produced by the body during pregnancy isn’t just healthy…it’s absolutely vital.
While all three major pregnancy hormones will increase in the weeks after conception, hCG is the first, Evans says, and it’s responsible for keeping the other two at appropriate levels while the placenta grows. Once the placenta is developed enough to sustain the growing embryo—at around 10 to 12 weeks, basically the tail end of the first trimester—hCG production slows down as the placenta steps up to the plate.

Progesterone

Initially produced by the ovaries, progesterone kicks in early in the pregnancy, and you’ll start seeing physical changes because of it. A rise in progesterone levels will increase a pregnant woman’s heart rate—and her appetite. It can also lead to some of the more uncomfortable side effects of pregnancy, such as fatigue.  
Because progesterone has an impact on the smooth muscles of the body, it affects the lower esophageal sphincter, Evans says, which can cause heartburn and acid reflux, mostly later in pregnancy. Progesterone also softens the cartilage, which contributes to pelvic pain. On the other hand, it’s that softening that helps the hips to expand during childbirth!
Low progesterone levels can lead to miscarriage, warns Anita Somani, MD, an OB-GYN with OhioHealth in Columbus, Ohio, so your OB-GYN or midwife may be doing blood tests to keep track of your progesterone levels, especially if you’ve had issues in the past.
If you’re looking at the blood tests for answers, here’s a basic guideline. Progesterone levels can range from 9 to 47 ng/mL in the first trimester, with an average of 12 to 20 ng/mL in the first 5 to 6 weeks of pregnancy. But Evans is quick to say that these numbers are not to be taken alone, as each woman’s body is different. “It is not the single value that can predict a healthy pregnancy outcome,” she warns. When in doubt, ask your doctor or midwife.
Some OB-GYNs do suggest women who have had a previous miscarriage or have experienced a pre-term delivery take progesterone during their pregnancy in addition to the amount the body produces.
Studies on the efficacy of added progesterone are mixed. One 2015 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine concluded that progesterone therapy in the first trimester of pregnancy “did not result in a significantly higher rate of live births among women with a history of unexplained recurrent miscarriages.” Because of studies like these, it’s not recommended that women take progesterone on their own without a doctor signing off.
The body’s progesterone production will slow down in the end of the first trimester as the placenta takes center stage.

Estrogen

Along with progesterone, estrogen is produced in the ovaries, and it helps sustain the lining of the uterus in the first trimester, supporting the developing embryo. It’s also one of the two hormones (again, along with progesterone) most responsible for the physical changes we have come to associate with pregnancy.
The most pronounced? Those achy, throbbing breasts can be blamed on increased estrogen production in your body. If you’ve got a stuffy nose, you can blame that on estrogen too. The hormone helps increase blood flow through the body. This is good news for your growing fetus, which will depend on that increased blood, but it can result in swelling in your nostrils. (Then again, it’s all that extra blood flow that contributes to a pregnant woman’s “glow.”)
The ovaries’ estrogen production will begin to wane near the end of the first trimester.

What about the baby?

While the big three hormones begin to taper off by the time you hit your second trimester, that doesn’t mean hormones aren’t still working on your body.
As the embryo grows, so does the placenta. By about week nine of your pregnancy, the placenta takes over pumping out estrogen and progesterone and adds yet another pregnancy hormone, human placental lactogen (hPL), to the mix. One of hPL’s main jobs is to inhibit insulin, preventing glucose from absorbing into a mother’s cells. In turn, that makes your bloodstream glucose levels increase, providing more sugar to the baby so he or she can grow.
Overall, hormones produced in the placenta will work together to promote fetal growth while also helping a mother’s body become an even better place for a baby to develop. That means some will spike, decrease, then spike again, and you’re just along for the ride.

Up and Down and Back Again

All that ebbing and flowing of hormone levels may be natural, but let’s face it, it’s not easy having your hormones fluctuate. From exhaustion to wild emotions, hormones can make you feel like you’re on a roller coaster.
“Mood swings, fatigue, nausea and vomiting, breast tenderness, sensitivity to smells and odors can be overwhelming at times,” Evans admits. “The good news is that these are temporary and most decrease with time.”
In truth, there’s nothing you can do about hormone fluctuations. They’re part of pregnancy. But they also don’t have to plague you the whole nine months.
“Change is normal and moods can be affected,” Bitner explains. “The best is self-care and awareness. If a women has underlying mood issues, such as anxiety or depression, the worries of pregnancy, body changes, and relationship changes can add stress and expose coping difficulties.
“The best way to cope is to have good self-care in place with a healthy diet, adequate sleep, a support network of family and friends, and (if necessary) counseling to deal with more difficult situations,” she adds. “Women who cope are able to ask for help when needed, believe they deserve to be happy and do well, and keep a network in place. Some women do need medication for mood during pregnancy and there are safe options.”
Evans recommends her patients break down the nine months into chunks to get through.
“I like to describe the first 20 weeks of pregnancy as [wedding] planning,” she says. “[You’re] busy with anticipation, worries, excitement for the future, and ups and downs of event planning. When the wedding day arrives at around 20 weeks, you find you have more energy and sense of euphoria as the honeymoon begins and you start buying baby clothes and life is grand as the hormones settle in and calm down.”
By the last month, however, the honeymoon is over and you’re facing yet another hormone change.
“As your body prepares to give up this growing life inside, you can’t breathe, sleep, eat, find clothes that fit and your feet have outgrown every pair of shoes in your closet, and all you want is to meet your new baby, and for the pregnancy to be done so you have more energy and a sense of euphoria never before experienced—the birth of your baby,” Evans says.

After Baby Comes

Once the baby arrives, your hormones will change once again. The placenta leaving the body means it’s no longer producing hormones, and estrogen and progesterone levels fall to low levels rapidly after birth.
If you decide to breastfeed, estrogen and progesterone will help support milk production and suppress ovulation (which is why many breastfeeding moms don’t get a period for months or even years after giving birth).
These hormonal changes can be dicey for moms who are risk of anxiety or depression, Bitner warns, as the loss of estrogen is associated with less serotonin activity.
“Serotonin is the brain chemical which impacts many women in how they cope and how they feel,” she explains. “Lower effective serotonin levels can lead to marked depression and/or anxiety, especially if other risk factors exist, such as sleep deprivation and life stressors.”
Depression treatment can start during pregnancy, or you may need to be watched for postpartum depression symptoms. So if you’re worried about the way hormonal fluctuations can affect your mood during and after pregnancy, it’s important to talk to your healthcare provider. There is help available.
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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

What's Your Parenting Style (And How Is It Affecting Your Kids)?

You recently got that treasured positive pregnancy test, and there are hundreds of questions whirling through your head: What will the baby be named? What kind of birth will you have? And importantly: What will your parenting style be?
Your mom and dad probably never gave much thought to their parenting style other than “Keep the kids alive” or “Raise good humans.” However, in recent years it’s become easier than ever to find like-minded people online, and the idea of [linkbuilder id=”6511″ text=”parenting styles”] has taken off. Terms like “helicopter parent,” “free-range mom” and “attachment parenting” have become mainstream, and new parents often feel like they need to investigate each parenting style and ascribe to one before their child is even born.
Some parents begin picking a parenting style just as early as they pick a nursery theme or a hospital to deliver at. There are many books and expert opinions on [linkbuilder id=”6516″ text=”different parenting styles”] available, and lots of parents begin researching months before their child is born—or even before they conceive! It’s not all that surprising, though. After all, this is an important decision since your parenting style can have lifelong effects on both you and your children.
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Here’s everything you need to know about parenting styles, from the consequences, behaviors, and everyday parenting choices associated with the most common styles to the drawbacks of having a rigid parenting style picked out.

Where did the idea of parenting styles come from?

When you were growing up, you probably never heard much about parenting styles, and you might be wondering what all the fuss is about. That’s because the idea of defined parenting styles is relatively new.
“Our studies of parenting models or styles are not that old,” says John Mayer, PhD, a practicing clinical psychologist licensed in six states who specializes in working with children, teens, and their families.
Mayer says that in the past children were effectively considered small adults and were expected to behave as such, so no defined parenting styles were needed. That changed a bit in the 1930s when psychologists began studying child development and realized that how kids are parented could affect their personalities as they grew.
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Still, throughout most of the 20th century child rearing was kept fairly simple. Most children were expected to be obedient and respectful, and parents assumed a relatively strict role.
The more modern idea of parenting styles that tap into different social and emotional belief systems is very recent, says Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio, LCSW, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Simple Habits of Exceptional (But Not Perfect) Parents.
​“It’s all about marketing,” he says. “Some parenting theorists package their recommendations into neat, catchy titles for marketing purposes​ the same way that dieting experts do.​ The mainstream media needs fresh content, so these new approaches gain visibility and, hence, adherents.”
Today, talking about parenting styles has become mainstream. But it turns out that there is quite a bit of research backing up the belief in the importance of distinct parenting styles.

The Scientifically-Described Parenting Styles

Many parenting styles are indeed new, and almost branded to the specific person who brought them to fruition. However, on a broader level, there is scientific merit to the idea that how children are parented affects the people they grow up to be.
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When researchers look at parenting styles, they’re often talking about different things than most parents are considering when we talk casually about parenting styles. While pop-culture styles like free-range or attachment parenting focus on how parents behave, scientific research tends to focus on four types of parenting styles that are driven by what parents believe. These scientifically recognized styles were first identified by Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist.
In 1966, Baumrind published a scientific paper that defined three distinct types of parenting styles (later scientists would add a fourth: more on that in a minute!). They were:

The Authoritarian Parenting Style

Parents who have an authoritarian parenting style believe that children should not question them. They emphasize the need for obedience and opt for strict punishment if rules are broken. Authoritarian parents would have no problem using the phrase “Because I said so” to justify their actions since they believe a parent has ultimate power to give commands to their kids.

The Authoritative Parenting Style

Authoritative parents have strict expectations of their kids, but will explain why, rather than just expecting the child to obey them because they said so, Baumrind wrote. People who ascribe to this parenting style are willing to explain their decisions using logic and reason, but these parents aren’t interested in their children’s desires or opinions when it comes to making parental decisions.
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For example, an authoritative parent might explain to a preschooler that she needs to wear a matching, coordinated outfit to a family event because dressing nicely is a sign of respect. If the child still didn’t want to dress how the parent wants her to, an authoritarian parent would enforce their expectation and make the child change into an appropriate outfit.

The Permissive Parenting Style

Permissive parents give a lot of weight to their children’s thoughts and opinions when making parenting decisions. People who chose this parenting style are likely to affirm their kids’ feelings and less likely to dole out punishments or have strict expectations. In the example above, a permissive parent would most likely let the child chose his or her own outfit to wear to the event, even if it was not what the parent would ideally like.

The Fourth Parenting Style

In 1983 researchers added a fourth category: the uninvolved parenting style. These parents don’t enforce strict standards, and they are not nurturing or warm toward their children.
These styles are still considered relevant by psychologists today. Gail Gross, PhD, EdD, writes that each is associated with distinct effects. Children of authoritarian parents often seek approval and associated approval with love, she says, while children with permissive parents might be unorganized, lack boundaries, or not have much self-control. Children of uninvolved parents often lose their ability to trust, which can affect their relationships later in life.
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Gross writes that the authoritative parenting style is best for most kids.
“Authoritative parents regularly communicate expectations and potential consequences, thereby raising a child in an environment that provides both security and confidence, which helps build his self-esteem,” she writes.

The Pop-Culture Parenting Styles

While researchers have defined the parenting styles above and studied how they influence development, modern parenting experts have articulated additional parenting styles that have become more well-known in modern pop culture. You’re probably not sitting around with your friends debating the merits of being an authoritative versus a permissive parent, but you’ve probably thrown “helicopter parent” around a time or two.
Although modern parenting styles can be related to the scientific parenting styles outlined above, pop-culture parenting styles all have their own tenants and focuses. While the scientifically recognized parenting styles were defined through observation, modern parenting styles have been heavily influenced by our cultural moments and collective values and desires.
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Here are three pop-culture parenting styles that you’ve probably heard of:

The Attachment Parenting Style

Attachment parenting is a phrase coined by William Sears, a pediatrician. The attachment parenting style focuses on the bond between mom and baby, with particular attention given to meeting a child’s physical needs as a newborn, says Sheryl Ziegler, PhD, a psychologist and author of Mommy Burnout. Attachment parents often emphasize breastfeeding, babywearing, and responding to baby’s every cry.
Advocates of the attachment parenting style claim that it builds a secure bond between parent and child that will set the child up for healthy relationships throughout their lives.
Skeptics, however say that it can have drawbacks as well. “In this parenting style [the maternal–child bond] is often over exaggerated and leads to poor parenting habits such as breastfeeding too long, sleeping with the baby, again, too long, and exclusion of co-parent and other significant others,” says Mayer.

The Free-Range Parenting Style

When journalist Lenore Skenazy wrote about letting her 9-year-old son ride the subway on his own, she sparked a firestorm that led to the creation of the free-range parenting movement. Free-range parenting isn’t based on a medical or scientific belief, but rather the idea that parents need to give their kids a bit of freedom and space, with the general assumption that kids will be safe.
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“The mantra would be something like ‘Kids are not in constant danger…so stop parenting them that way,’” Ziegler tells HealthyWay.
Advocates say that this is the approach that was common throughout most of the 20th century, when kids were sent outside to play unsupervised, or to run to the store for their parents. Advocates also emphasize that the world remains relatively safe for kids and that giving them space encourages independence and self-reliability.
However, detractors says that this approach can put kids in danger. “There is a misnomer that free-range parents are too carefree, don’t care about rules and discipline, and that kids run wild,” Ziegler explains. “However, that is not really the case. Free-range parents do believe in safety but they have more of a fundamental trust in kids and community to take care of itself.”

The Helicopter Parenting Style

Unlike the first two parenting styles, helicopter parenting has a decidedly negative connotation. This parenting style describes parents who are always around and regularly do things for their children that the children could easily do themselves. For toddlers, that might mean keeping hands on them on the playground, whereas older kids with helicopter parents might have their laundry and college applications done for them.
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Parents sometimes find themselves hovering too close to their child—like a helicopter—because of their own anxieties. However, detractors say that this can cause anxiety in kids and can diminish or stunt their belief in themselves.
“This leads to deficits in individual responsibility, maturity, accountability, and personal relationship formation,” Mayer says.

What To Do If Your Parenting Style Isn’t Working

Trying to follow one of these particular parenting styles can be useful for figuring out how you (and your partner, if you have one) will confront the challenges that kids bring. However, having a rigid parenting style can also be a cause of stress. If you find yourself worrying about not doing things the “right” way or making certain decisions just because they’re in line with your chosen style rather than because you genuinely believe those decisions are best for your child, it may indicate that your chosen parenting style isn’t working for you according to Dolan-Del Vecchio.
“Our interactions with our children cannot be fit into neat categories,” he says.
Ziegler says that it’s important to keep some flexibility no matter what approach you think will be best for you and your child. For example, an attachment parent may plan to babywear frequently, but have a child who prefers to be able to move independently. In cases like that, it’s perfectly fine to adjust the tenets of your chosen parenting style to fit your family’s needs.
“Instead of abandoning the style all together, I encourage new parents to take the style—as with many things in life—in moderation,” Ziegler says.
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Creating Your Own Parenting Style

Ultimately, experimenting with different parenting styles can help you find the method that is the best fit for your family.
“I would remind parents that popular parenting styles come and go,” Ziegler says. “If they want to make a change they can do so in certain areas, but can maintain that style at other times. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”
Dolan-Del Vecchio recommends parents take lessons from each parenting style and meld them together to create an approach that works the best for their family members’ specific circumstances and personalities.
“The core messages within each of these styles apply well to the particulars of certain situations and not well to others,” he explains. “For example, it is healthy for parents to helicopter when teaching their young child to swim, ride a bike, and use the internet, but unhealthy when their child does his or her homework. It is healthy for a parent to apply strict rules about curfew and time limits on use of technology during their child’s early stages of development but this will hopefully change as their child moves toward adulthood.”
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Letting go of the need to adhere to a specific parenting style can allow parents the freedom to make the decisions that they are most comfortable with, Dolan-Del Vecchio says. He goes on to say it’s important that kids know what to expect from their parents, but it is not important that adults be able to label their particular brand of parenting.
“I think ​having a defined parenting doctrine is wrongheaded. Parenting requires us to be observant of ourselves and our child, flexible in our approach to providing loving guidance, and ready to negotiate and compromise with our co-parent if we have one so that we approach our child with consistency.”
Parenting styles can provide great guidance for raising kids and give you a foundation for building your family’s belief system when it comes to matters of discipline and authority. However, if you find that your parenting style is giving you more stress than relief, it’s perfectly okay to adjust your parenting style or decide that you don’t need a defined approach at all.
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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

For Happy Kids Who Study Harder, Get Them Moving

Today, after a long stretch of winter head colds and below-zero windchill, we got an unseasonably warm day here in the Midwest. Finally, after spending days stuck in the house, I was able to take my kids out for a bike ride and some time at the park.
Just two hours in the sun—running around, climbing the jungle gym, and biking the trail—completely changed the mood of our entire family. Days like today are a reminder of just how important it is that my kids move on a regular basis if I want our household to maintain its upbeat attitude.
Of course, dealing with cabin fever isn’t the only benefit to active play. In fact, recent research indicates that active play is so much more than a chance for kids to burn off steam. According to a study published by the University of Stirling and BBC Learning’s Terrific Science Campaign, a little exercise every day can enhance how kids perform in school.

How Playtime Can Turn Kids Into High-Achievers

Kids who move more report feeling happier and experience improvements in their cognition.
The kids in the University of Stirling/BBC study were given the chance to take brief breaks from school to engage in physical activity. The kids who were encouraged to run or walk at their own pace fared better when it was time to head back to the classroom. They had an easier time remembering what they were learning and showed improved attention spans.
The researchers responsible for this study believe there is a practical takeaway from the results: Teachers should encourage their students to take regular breaks for self-paced exercise throughout the day. Doing this could help children enjoy their schoolwork more and succeed more easily.

Five Ideas to Get Your Kids Moving

Teachers aren’t the only adults who can benefit from keeping the kids in their care active; parents should use this knowledge to their advantage, too! Keeping your kids active can help them perform better in school and could make getting through homework simpler in the evenings.
Encourage your children to engage in short spurts of self-paced exercise when they are at home. It doesn’t have to elaborate and intense and it certainly doesn’t have to be boring! Here are few ideas for getting your little students moving more:

1. Ride it out.

Family bike rides are an amazing way to keep the whole family moving. If you find that you and your kids are staring at screens in the evening, try changing things up once a week. Plan ahead to bond in the great outdoors and pencil it in on the family calendar to keep yourself accountable.

2. Shake your groove thing.

Two of my three kids are too little to ride their own bikes, but you’re never too little to dance. When the weather’s too cold for outdoor play, we put on our favorite playlist and spend half an hour dancing around the living room.

3. Hit the trails.

Children belong in nature. There is dirt. There are bugs. There is always a chance to run and climb. What more could they ask for? Fill a backpack with water, snacks, and a first aid kit. Turn off Saturday morning cartoons and spend the weekend exploring local nature sanctuaries or state parks.

4. Mommy and Me

No matter how little your kids are, there are plenty of chances to get moving in most communities. Mommy-and-me classes are great for new moms and their babies or toddlers. Check out water babies classes at your local pool or sign up for mommy-and-me yoga.

5. Take it to court.

Most community centers have open gym several times a week. Lace up your sneakers and take the entire family for a family basketball game. Learning to dribble and shoot is the perfect way to fill an afternoon as a family.

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Healthy Pregnancy Motherhood

8 Nausea Remedies For When Morning Sickness Has You Down

When those two pink lines appeared on your pregnancy test you were absolutely thrilled. You imagined cuddling with your baby and even got excited about the big, round belly that was coming your way. You started shopping and dreaming up the perfect name.
Then you started throwing up. And thus the quest to find nausea remedies became an essential part of your day.
Pregnancy is a beautiful time, but there is nothing that can put a damper on the excitement of the impending new arrival as much as morning sickness. (For starters, it must have been a man who coined that term, because any woman who has been pregnant knows that pregnancy nausea can last all day or creep up suddenly when you least expect it.)
To make matters worse, nausea usually peaks in the first trimester, when you might be opting to keep your news private. Trying to work or even just function while constantly feeling sick adds another level of emotional depletion to pregnancy when emotions are already running high, so finding nausea remedies that work for you is critical to feeling better.
While morning sickness is often short lived compared to the 40 weeks of pregnancy, that still means dealing with unending nausea for weeks. Who, besides moms-to-be, would be able to endure that?
Fortunately, if you’re spending your days puking in flower pots, running to the bathroom at work, or just feeling constantly queasy, there are some nausea remedies that can alleviate and prevent morning sickness. You can take advantage of these nausea remedies until the second trimester rolls around and brings sweet relief.
Here’s everything you should know about morning sickness—and the nausea remedies that can keep it at bay.

What causes morning sickness, anyway?

If you’re like most pregnant women, you’ve probably wondered why you’re feeling your worst when your body needs to be healthier than ever to support a pregnancy.
The answer is those pesky hormones. In particularly you can blame human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), a hormone that is produced in the placenta and helps your fetus develop. This hormone first becomes detectable in your system about 11 days after you ovulate, and some women might need nausea remedies beginning right then. The hormone peaks around weeks 8 to 11 of pregnancy, according to the American Pregnancy Association. Not coincidentally, this is also when pregnancy nausea is at its worst and women are most in need of nausea remedies.
“We think there may be a relationship between high pregnancy hormone levels like human chorionic gonadotropin, estrogen, and morning sickness,” says Patricia Lo, an OB-GYN at MemorialCare Saddleback Medical Center in Laguna Hills, California. “Women with twins or triplets have higher levels of hCG and generally have worse symptoms.”
The small silver lining to feeling sick is that it is likely a sign of a healthy pregnancy. Low hCG levels can indicate an impending miscarriage, so higher hormone levels—and the nausea that accompanies them—are generally a good sign that your body is doing what it needs to to help your baby grow.
“Women with mild nausea and vomiting during pregnancy experience fewer miscarriages and stillbirths than women without these symptoms,” says Sherry Ross, an OB-GYN and women’s health expert at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California. “So, for me, when a woman is really nauseous and has occasional vomiting, I know she is probably carrying a healthy pregnancy!”
Of course the peace of mind is great, but it does little to alleviate the physical symptoms you’re experiencing, so experimenting with different nausea remedies that work for you is still important.
If you’re prone to nausea in general or have had morning sickness with a previous pregnancy, you’re more likely to experience it again, Lo says. Some people say that women who are carrying female fetuses are more likely to experience nausea, but experts disagree about whether this is true or merely an old wives’ tale.
And if you’re feeling frustrated that your sickness lasts all day, you’re not alone.
“Unfortunately, for most women, nausea and vomiting can persist throughout the day. For these women, the term pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting may be a better term” than morning sickness, Lo says.
Lo points out that nausea isn’t the only symptom of morning sickness—some women will experience dizziness or lightheadedness or have increased saliva. Although all of that is entirely normal, it certainly isn’t pleasant! Hang in there.

Study your triggers and you might not need nausea remedies.

Since pregnancy nausea differs from woman to woman, the most effective thing you can do to keep nausea at bay is to study your own symptoms and figure out what nausea remedies work best for them. Learn what triggers your morning sickness, and stay away from those things.
“Avoid anything that makes you nauseous,” says Lo. “This can include foods with strong odors, stuffy rooms, hot places, and loud noises.”
This step requires some patience, but it is ultimately very effective.
“It may take some trial and error before you find out what your triggers are,” Lo explains.

Figuring Out Which Nausea Remedies Work

The American Pregnancy Association says that half of pregnant women experience morning sickness, and the experts we spoke to put the number closer to 80 percent. That leaves a lot of women looking for nausea remedies just so they can go on completing their everyday tasks.
Fortunately, there are lots of available nausea remedies for morning sickness, ranging from lifestyle adjustments to dietary changes. Medically, there are over-the-counter and prescription medications that are available if you need them.
“Treatment for morning sickness is often necessary and is usually in the form of dietary adjustments and medications available over the counter,” says Michael Nageotte, MD, a perinatologist and associate chief medical officer at Miller Children’s & Women’s Hospital in Long Beach, California.
Treating and preventing morning sickness can be a matter of trial and error, so the nausea remedies here are arranged from the least invasive treatments to the most medical. However, all of these nausea remedies are safe and available if you need them.

Nausea Remedies That Can Help You Get Through the Day

  1. 1. Take your vitamins.

    Preventing morning sickness can start before you need any nausea remedies. In fact, it can start before you’re even pregnant.
    “Women who take multivitamins when they are first trying to get pregnant generally have less morning sickness,” Lo says.
    Of course, that info might be useful for the future, but it’s no help if you’re already pregnant and trying to find nausea remedies that will give you a bit of relief. Taking your prenatals is still important even if you’re feeling sick, though, yet many women feel that the vitamins make them more likely to feel nauseated. If you find that to be the case for yourself, try taking them at a different time of day, like before bed, or with a meal.
    When I was expecting, even that didn’t work, so my midwife suggested taking two Flintstones chewable vitamins until I could get back to my prenatals without feeling sick. It worked well and was much more fun!

  2. 2. Eat more often.

    If you’re feeling sick, snacking is the last thing you want to do, but eating is one of the most important nausea remedies during pregnancy. Having smaller, more frequent meals is one of the best ways to keep pregnancy nausea at bay, according to Lo.
    “Often, women avoid eating when they start having symptoms and an empty stomach can actually make their symptoms worse,” she says. Instead of avoiding meals, Lo recommends eating small meals every hour or two to keep your stomach settled. Sipping a drink can also help quell nausea.

  3. 3. Become a picky eater.

    In addition to eating more often, it’s time to seriously consider what you’re eating if you’re trying to discover nausea remedies that work. Many women love simple carbs for keeping nausea at bay, and reaching for protein is another great option. Try to take note about which foods help settle your morning sickness and which do you more harm than good.
    “Ideally, eat foods high in carbohydrates and low in fat,” says Ross. “Avoid foods that are spicy, salty, or high in protein.”
    The BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast) is a great remedy for nausea, she says.

  4. 4. Go for ginger, one of the oldest nausea remedies in the book.

    Many women turn to traditional natural nausea remedies for relief from pregnancy nausea.
    “Natural remedies are often of value and it is unclear as to why they work,” says Nageotte.
    Fortunately, most moms-to-be are more interested in whether nausea remedies work than they are in discovering how those remedies work. Ginger is one of the most commonly recommended natural nausea remedies. You can sip ginger tea, suck lozenges, or eat fresh ginger.
    “It’s thought that ginger helps relax gastrointestinal muscles, relieving symptoms associated with morning sickness,” Ross says.
    Treats like ginger ale and ginger snap cookies are less effective because they don’t contain a large amount of ginger, but if they make you feel better, incorporate those into your diet every once in a while—surely the baby will appreciate the occasional cookie!

  5. 5. Give acupuncture a try.

    Many women find that acupuncture and acupressure (pressing on certain points) are effective nausea remedies.
    “Acupuncture and acupressure are easy and safe alternatives to help the woes of morning sickness,” Ross says.
    The P-6 pressure point has been shown to help relieve mild nausea and vomiting. To activate this point, press into the middle of your forearm three fingers lengths down from where your wrist meets your hand. Certain nausea-relief bands also activate this point.

  6. 6. Take vitamin B6.

    You’re already taking prenatals (right?), but many healthcare providers tell women experiencing pregnancy nausea to take vitamin B6. Taking 25 milligrams three times a day can keep you from feeling ill.
    “It’s not clear how it works, but has a great track record,” Ross says.
    If that doesn’t do the trick, you might want to talk to your doctor about Diclegis, a prescription drug that combines vitamin B6 and an antihistamine to treat morning sickness.

  7. 7. Try prescription nausea remedies.

    If you’ve tried everything else and are still having severe morning sickness, your doctor may recommend more serious prescription nausea remedies, such as promethazine (brand name: Phenergan) and metoclopramide (brand name: Reglan).
    Women with severe pregnancy nausea may have to take ondansetron, more commonly known by the brand name Zofran. It’s important to be aware that there is a small increased risk of heart defect in the babies of mothers who take this medicine during the first trimester, Lo cautions. Because of this, it’s important to discuss the side effects of all nausea remedies—particularly prescription medications—with your doctor to weigh the risks and benefits.

  8. 8. A change in mindset can be a powerful nausea remedy. Really.

    Morning sickness is absolutely miserable. There’s no denying that. But when you’re feeling overwhelmed and no nausea remedies are providing relief, try to remember that it will all be worth it in the end.
    “Feeling miserable the first 12 weeks can be a soft sign to your health care provider that all systems are working normally,” Ross said. “Reassuring women who don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel is important so they understand morning sickness is common, it’s short lasting, and it suggests your pregnancy is off to a healthy start.”

Understanding more about morning sickness might also help you get through those long weeks of feeling ill.

When should I get concerned if nausea remedies aren’t working?

In most cases, pregnancy-related nausea is a normal pregnancy symptom that will peak around the ninth week of pregnancy, Lo says. Although you should certainly speak to your doctor if you are concerned, most women can keep themselves and their baby healthy by using the nausea remedies listed above.
However, for some people, morning sickness becomes much more serious. The Duchess of Cambridge (aka Kate Middleton) brought the condition hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) into the public eye when she was pregnant with her first child, Prince George, in 2012. The duchess was so ill during the beginning of her pregnancy that she had to be hospitalized and receive intravenous fluids, which isn’t an uncommon nausea remedy for women with this rare and serious form of prenatal nausea.
“Hyperemesis gravidarum is severe nausea and vomiting associated with weight loss, dehydration, and often electrolyte abnormalities,” says Nageotte. “Patients are usually unable to tolerate anything orally for several days to weeks.”
Women who have HG vomit nearly constantly and will have other signs of dehydration, including dark urine. Unfortunately, normal nausea remedies aren’t very effective at treating HG. This condition is diagnosed based on symptoms, Lo says, and doctors may run additional tests to make sure that there isn’t another cause for your illness, such as a virus.
Because dehydration can be dangerous for both mother and baby, it’s important to talk to your doctor if you are at all concerned about the extent of your pregnancy nausea or if the nausea remedies listed above aren’t giving you relief.  
Although morning sickness is common in pregnancy, you don’t have to just suffer through it. Experiment with different nausea remedies to find the one that works for you, and keep in mind that it won’t last forever. You’ve got this, mama!

Categories
Mindful Parenting Motherhood

6 Basic Rules For Teaching Your Kids Internet Safety

If you’ve spent any time at all on social media lately (and let’s face it, what parent doesn’t escape to Facebook now and again for some adult conversation?), you’ve probably seen one of the “good old days” memes. They’re all slightly different, but there’s one general sentiment: Kids today are spoiled brats, and technology is to blame.
It’s easy enough to hit share when you’re thinking back to your glorious childhood of climbing trees and reading battered paperbacks. But if you’re a parent struggling with the question of when to let your kids into the world of modern technology and just how to keep them safe, the memes can be a slap in the face.
Of course you were out on your bike instead of texting on an iPhone when you were 12…the iPhone hadn’t yet been invented! But now you’re raising a child in the era of digital natives, and at some point gadgets are going to end up in their hands, if only because they’re part of most public school programs in this day and age.
So what can you do to keep your kids from being swallowed up by the internet behemoth?

1. Use technology to your advantage.

By the time your kids are 18 months old, it’s okay to let them have some screen time, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. They even offer up recommended time limits for each age group. If you’re looking to stick to the doctors’ limits or make your own, there’s no need to clock watch while you’re trying to do laundry and make dinner. Technology is on your side.
Internet filtering and monitor systems are a wise (and relatively inexpensive) investment to make from the get-go. Some, like Disney’s Circle, allow parents to preset sites kids can visit and allot an amount of time kids can spend online before the system shuts them out, turning that iPad in your 2-year-old’s hand into a really expensive sippy cup coaster. Before you purchase something new, dig out the guidebook for your wifi router. Some have similar controls.

2. Follow the rules.

Most of the age-related guidelines are just that, guidelines. There’s no punishment if you’re down with the flu and your toddler (gasp!) watches three hours of Paw Patrol.
Most social media platforms, on the other hand, have hard and fast rules that kids cannot create profiles until age 13. If a child is discovered on the platform, they can be kicked off entirely.  
Sure, your kids are (almost definitely) going to have friends whose parents let them break the platform rules. They’ll tell you that they want to be on Instagram just like Jamal or Joanie. But pulling up each platform’s terms of service can help quash the complaints.
Although you don’t want to badmouth another parent, remind your kids that rules in your house are meant to be followed. Placing internet rules in the context of home rules can also cement in their mind that there’s no wiggle room…not even on that “no dessert before dinner” rule.

3. Be a good netizen.

When someone brakes hard in front of you and you let out a stream of curse words, you know your toddler is bound to pick up a new vocabulary. Kids watch us. They learn from us. And that applies to what we do online too.
If you are using “iffy” websites to download free movies that you’re not quite sure are legal or if you’re engaging in some nasty rage tweeting, your kids are taking notice…and the chances that they stumble on those iffy sites or turn into cyberbullies themselves are much higher.

4. Lock things down.

The services a child needs to access on a gadget vary wildly depending on their age and why you gave them the gadget in the first place. If you give a 4-year-old a tablet for reading books, for example, they likely don’t need internet access. And a 6-year-old may like looking up facts about animals, but they don’t need to be able to iMessage with anyone.
Before you hand over any gadget, get acquainted with what it does, and turn off any services you don’t feel your child needs or is ready to handle. That could mean giving your 4-year-old an iPad with the texting, email, and internet browser shut off, plus a password lock that prevents them from downloading any new content without your approval.
Or it could mean removing apps such as YouTube and replacing them with kid-friendly video apps such as YouTube Kids so your animal-crazy 6-year-old can see funny cat videos without finding something more insidious.  

5. Monitor the situation.

Reading a child’s texts or checking their internet browser history may feel like a violation of privacy to some parents, but the stakes are much higher on the internet than they are with a handwritten diary shoved under the mattress.
Make kids aware from the start that their gadgets are a privilege, not a right, and that the sites they visit and the texts they send will be monitored. This can help ease your guilt while also making them think each time they use their tablet or phone, “Hey, Mom or Dad is going to see this. Do I want them to?”

6. Don’t shy away from the hard stuff.

Sexting and cyberbullying aren’t just serious parenting issues. They can be legal issues too. Even a photo of themselves can be construed as child pornography by the police. Talking to our kids early and often seems to be the most effective way to head off these issues, so don’t delay.
Even before a child has their own gadget with a camera, they need to know that they should be wary of their friends taking photos (even if they’re innocently changing in the background at a sleepover or taking wild selfies). Make sure they’re keenly aware that anything can be screenshot and saved, even on apps like Snapchat, where media is designed to “disappear.”
When in doubt, remember: You know your kids. The rules you lay down should fit them and your family both.