Category: Motherhood

To vaccinate or not vaccinate? That’s an important question that every parent faces.

According to the CDC, “Vaccines are our best defense against infections that may have serious complications such as pneumonia, meningitis, cancer, and even death.” They recommend vaccinations to protect against 14 infectious diseases, before the age of two years. They include: measles, mumps, rubella, varicella, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis, haemophilus influenza type B, polio, influenza, rotavirus, and pneumococcal disease.” Other experts agree and equate vaccinating to wearing a seatbelt.

However, while science has proved that it’s safe, effective, and truly necessary to immunize, there’s an increasingly large group of parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. A study showed that nine out of 10 pediatricians say that they have been asked by at least one parent in their practice to alter their child’s immunization schedule—with most of those parents claiming that the vaccines are unnecessary.

Confused? Here’s a list of seven of the dangerous anti-vaccination arguments that parents make—and why they’re bogus.

They may cause autism.

Despite clear evidence that vaccines do not cause autism, this is often a major argument of “anti-vaxxers.” The Autism Science Foundation (and other autism related groups), as well as the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics have all released lists of studies that show no link between vaccination and autism.

The one study that people who don’t vaccinate often cite is the one that was conducted in 1998 by physician-researcher Dr. Andrew Wakefield. Unfortunately, his conclusions didn’t hold much water, as the research he conducted turned out to be fabricated. Dr. Wakefield admitted to falsifying the data and was subsequently stripped of his license.

Despite this, plenty of parents have shared anecdotes of children developing autism after being vaccinated. Anecdotal evidence, though, can hardly be compared with scientific fact; no direct proof of causation has been found and experts believe that those kids would probably have developed autism regardless of vaccination.

Vaccines may overload a child’s immune system.

From the day that babies are born, they’re pummeled by germs and viruses that serve to strengthen their bodies. They’re exposed to thousands of antigens (the immune boosting micro-organisms in germs) a day through eating different foods, putting their hands and objects in their mouths, and being around people who are sick.

Vaccines contain these same antigens and boost a baby’s immune system in the exact, same way—only with much less of a punch. The number of antigens that vaccines contain are equivalent to a child being exposed to a mild infection. For example, when a child has a cold, he or she is exposed to up to 10 antigens; with “strep throat,” the child is exposed to up to 25 to 50 antigens.

Each vaccine in the pediatric vaccination schedule has between one and 69 antigens. The total amount that a child may be exposed to through vaccination, by the age of 2, is a mere 315 antigens. That’s a drop in the bucket compared to what we pick up in our day-to-day life and isn’t something to be concerned about.

It’s only my decision and affects only me and my child if I don’t vaccinate.

Parents who don’t vaccinate their kids not only jeopardize their own children’s lives, but also the lives of those who surround them. Lives at risk include the ones of those who aren’t vaccinated or medically cannot be, including newborn babies, the elderly, people with lessened immune systems (like immunocompromised cancer patients on chemotherapy) and pregnant women.

With every non-vaccinated life, the ability of people to be protected via association becomes increasingly more compromised. “Herd” or “community immunity” occurs when the vast majority of people are immunized in a population; those who aren’t able to be immunized are still offered protection because the spread of contagious disease is contained—sort of like an immunity umbrella.

However, this homeostasis is jarred when the numbers of non-immunized children rise above a certain percent. It’s believed that in order to maintain herd immunity, 83 to 94 percent of the population needs to be vaccinated. With every family that chooses not to vaccinate, this precarious balance is in danger.

Natural immunity is better than vaccinations.

Natural immunity of a child can occur in different ways.

Maternal passive immunity occurs when antibodies are passed from the placenta to the fetus in order to protect a newborn. This immunity has a short shelf life and only lasts a few months. Immunity against bacterial infection is also provided through antibodies found in breastmilk, and serves to protect the baby until she can build these defenses on her own.

Natural immunity can also be acquired when a baby is exposed to a pathogen (germ or virus). Research shows that the immune response of people who have been vaccinated against disease is just as good as the immune response of people whose immunity comes from an infection.

However, a vaccine-acquired immunity, especially in the case of a child, is preferred because the child needs not tolerate the actual infection in order to be protected. With natural immunity, a baby can become sick, suffer the illnesses side effects including possible death on her way to becoming immunized.

The illnesses we vaccinate for are in the past and no longer affect us.

This is true so long that most people are immunized and herd immunity is present. When a large majority of the population can inherently fight off the pathogens that invade their systems, everyone is protected and a disease can never establish itself and spread like crazy.

However, if larger percentages of the population don’t vaccinate, an increased percentage of the populations will be vulnerable (eventually making everyone vulnerable). This gives viruses and bacteria the opportunity to attack, get stronger, and stay longer. Even though the threat of certain diseases seem to be gone in the U.S., they are quite prevalent elsewhere.

International travel is great in terms of life experience, but not so great if you bring back a disease. Combine the dissolution of herd immunity with the introduction of a foreign disease and the potential for an epidemic rises.

Vaccines are filled with other unhealthy material.

Most vaccines are made of antigens (dead or dormant disease), adjuvants (to enhance the immune system response), antibiotics (to prevent bacteria and other contaminants during the making of the vaccine), preservatives and stabilizers (albumin, phenols, and glycine), and suspending fluid (sterile water, saline, or fluids containing protein).

Many anti-vax parents are concerned about the use of thimerosal as a preservative, as it contains trace amounts of mercury. The type of mercury that’s found in thimerosal is ethylmercury. It differs from methylmercury, the type of mercury that’s found in fish and that is known to be harmful to kids in certain amounts. Ethylmercury is broken down in the body and excreted much quicker than methylmercury, and has not been shown to cause autism or any other harmful effects.

As a precaution, manufacturers have stopped using thimerosal in the making of vaccinations any way—it’s now only used in the influenza vaccine and thimerosal-free options are also available.

Vaccines are a good way for large companies to make money.

Look, we live in a capitalist society. That means everyone needs to make money—even pharmaceutical companies and pediatricians. However, to say that these individuals push vaccinations to make a profit is not only incorrect, it’s grossly irresponsible. Looking more closely, pediatricians and drug companies are not only not getting rich on vaccines, they often lose money on vaccine administration.

At one time, the financial profits of vaccine business were so bad that many pharmaceutical firms actually sold their vaccine divisions to other companies so that they could concentrate on more profitable drugs. They found they could make more money selling the medicines that people took daily than the vaccines that were administered only once a year—and sometimes only once in a lifetime.

It may seem astounding to learn that the vaccine industry is valued at over $24 billion, however, it only makes up a mere 2 to 3 percent of a trillion-dollar worldwide pharmaceutical industry. Additionally, it’s important to note that pharmaceuticals rarely receive funding by the federal government. Most of the money goes to vaccine research by the National Institutes of Health.

Each year, the world produces and consumes about 12.8 billion tons of fruit juice.

It’s a more common drink in wealthier parts of the world, and in the United States, fruit juice is actually more profitable for farmers than fruit. It’s especially popular with kids, and why not? After all, fruit juice is delicious and nutritious.
Well, as it turns out, maybe not nutritious.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recently issued new recommendations, and it’s troubling news for parents who use fruit juices to keep their kids hydrated (and quiet).

The guidelines seem to push back against an earlier conclusion: that half of a child’s daily fruit intake could come from fruit juices, rather than real fruits. The academy no longer maintains that fruit juices are an adequate substitution in every case, and the new rules note that since juices are “easily overconsumed,” parents should exercise caution when giving them to their children.
Here’s a quick breakdown of the new guidelines.

Babies should not receive fruit juice until they’re a year old.

Instead, they should receive infant formula or breast milk until 6 months of age. They shouldn’t receive fruit juice under any circumstances, as juice could potentially stunt their growth. Parents can give children mashed or pureed fruit past the 6-month marker.

This is a notable change from earlier guidelines, which allowed 6-month-old children to have juice.

From age 1 to 4, children should only receive a maximum of four ounces of juice per day.

They should receive a cup of fruit per day in total, but only 4 ounces can come from fruit juice. That’s an extremely small amount by most parents’ standards; Mott’s Apple Juice, for instance, comes in 6.75-ounce boxes, so toddlers wouldn’t be able to consume an entire box without exceeding the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendations.

In fairness to food and beverage companies, their product sizes are largely based on older dietary guidelines, so we may see juice box sizes shrink over the next few years.
“In the past, we’ve always said generally 6 to 8 ounces per day and we weren’t really focusing on the age group,” said clinical dietitian Kristi King in an interview with CBS. “The new recommendations are much more tangible.”

There’s another significant issue to consider: Most fruit juice isn’t really fruit juice.

The academy strongly recommends reading labels (which aren’t always completely accurate) to find 100 percent fruit juices.
As fruit juices are big business, many manufacturers add sugar and other ingredients to make their products more palatable to children. This can increase calorie counts and further reduce the nutritional value of juices.

Parents should also make sure that schools aren’t providing children with juices, as many schools still operate under the old guidelines, offering juice in place of real fruits (and sacrificing nutrition in the process).
Ultimately, the safest practice is to choose whole fruits wherever possible. Juices may be delicious, but they’re hardly nutritious—especially for growing children.
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Former first lady Michelle Obama expressed dismay at a recent move by the Trump administration.

Her remarks came on May 12 at the Partnership for a Healthier American 2017 Healthier Future Summit, an annual conference in Washington, DC.

The former first lady did not mention Donald Trump by name, but in an interview with former White House chef Sam Kass, she criticized the actions of Trump appointee Sonny Perdue. Perdue, the current Secretary of Agriculture, delayed a rule that would limit the amount of sodium in school meals.

As first lady, Michelle Obama focused on promoting healthy nutrition for American youth.

“We gotta make sure we don’t let anybody take us back,” she told Kass.

“This is where you really have to look at motives, you know. You have to stop and think, why don’t you want our kids to have good food at school? What is wrong with you? And why is that a partisan issue? Why would that be political? What is going on?”

Michelle Obama insisted that she didn’t think of the issue as partisan, then expressed some choice words for the Trump administration.

“Take me out of the equation—like me or don’t like me,” she added. “But think about why someone is okay with your kids eating crap. Why would you celebrate that? Why would you sit idly and be okay with that? Because here’s the secret: If someone is doing that, they don’t care about your kid.”

The former first lady also addressed one of Perdue’s defenses for his rollback of sodium rules in school lunches.

The Secretary of Agriculture said that many kids didn’t like the new, low-sodium foods.

“That to me is one of the most ridiculous things that we talk about in this movement—’the kids aren’t happy,'” Obama said. “Well, you know what? Kids don’t like math either. What are we gonna do, stop teaching math?”

Secretary Perdue did not respond to the remarks directly, but a spokesperson for the Department of Agriculture said that Perdue “has nothing but the utmost respect for Michelle Obama.”

Traditionally, ex-presidents and their families rarely directly criticize successive administrations.

However, in late 2016, President Obama implied to Vanity Fair that he might become politically active after leaving office.

“Having had this office has given me this incredible perch from which to see how the world works. The power of the office is unique and it is a humbling privilege,” Barack Obama said. “With that power, however, also comes a whole host of institutional constraints. There are things I cannot say…”

“Not out of any political concerns,” he continued, “but out of prudential concerns of the office. There are institutional obligations I have to carry out that are important for a president of the United States to carry out, but may not always align with what I think would move the ball down the field on the issues that I care most deeply about.”

However, in former President Obama’s first remarks since leaving office, he did not mention Trump or directly criticize the new administration, keeping with longstanding White House tradition.

Getting a pet is an exciting time in any child’s life, but the wrong pet can bring more problems than joy. Here’s what you need to know about picking the right pet for your family.

At some point in time, many parents end up getting their children their first pet, whether it’s because they’ve relentlessly begged you for one or you’re trying to teach them a thing or two about responsibility. (Spoiler: That latter reason will backfire.)

You might think that there’s not really anything to taking care of a dog, hamster, or fish, but in some cases, we can guarantee that you’re seriously underestimating the amount of work it will take.

Here are the best and worst pets to get for young children—and some of the most unexpected aspects of caring for them.

Are they ready?

Before you even start considering which pet to buy, consider if your kids are ready to look after any animal at all. This will largely depend on the type of pet you want to get them, but there are other things to factor in, too.

For example, even though taking care of a goldfish seems incredibly simple to any adult, a child who’s too young might have trouble with it. Are they old enough to be trusted with getting the food out of the cabinet? Do they understand the importance of feeding the fish the correct amount?

These are things you can obviously teach them when it comes to caring for any pet, but they might not stick if the child truly isn’t ready yet.

Dogs—Best

A dog is the most obvious choice when it comes to getting a pet for your family—not only are they incredibly cute, but they’re pets that can also be active members of your family. In general, dogs tend to be easy for kids of any age to take care of because there isn’t a ton that you really have to do for them.

Putting out food and water is simple enough, they can easily be walked or let out in the yard for some fresh air, and it’s not hard to clean up after them when they relieve themselves.

If you and your family have settled on a dog, older shelter dogs typically make the best pets, because they usually come potty trained and they’re fairly calm. If you think a puppy sounds like a good idea, we’ll pray that the universe goes easy on you.

It’s important, though, to ask a few questions before you adopt, such as:

Is there a reason no one has adopted the dog yet? Does the dog have experience being around children or families? What is the dog’s personality like? What is the dog’s life expectancy?

Cats—Best

Like dogs, cats tend to be one of the first options most people consider when they think of getting a pet for their families. Sometimes the choice is even easier when you consider how independent cats tend to be—you make sure their litter gets cleaned and changed, you make sure they have food and water, and there don’t tend to be too many details after that.

Despite their aloofness, cats can also form intense bonds with their owners, especially children.

According to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), cats that are well cared-for can live incredibly long lives, up to 17 years in some cases, and 13 years at minimum. A kitten will be a bit harder to care for, but they’re ultimately just playful little creatures who do tend to calm down considerably as time goes on. If you have pretty small kids, they’ll probably relate to a cat fairly well—just like them, cats often work playtime and naptime into their everyday schedules.

Pocket Pets—Worst

A “pocket pet” is pretty much just that—any pet that is small enough to fit in your pocket. This type of animal can include mice, rats, hamsters, ferrets, guinea pigs, and gerbils.

Unlike dogs and cats, which will typically become part of the family and be included in many different family activities, pocket pets usually
have to stay in their own space and can’t really be left to roam around like a cat or dog.

Caring for them also requires way more supplies than you might think—they’ll need the right type of cage, the right type of food, a water dispenser, something they can exercise on, and wood chips or bedding material, which will need to be replaced fairly often.

Although they’re cute, these small critters involve way more work and care than any kid can handle. Not only that, but they’re also considered a sort of specialty animal when it comes to veterinary care, so it might be difficult to find a solution if something’s wrong with your pet. Until your kids realize how much goes into looking after a pocket pet, they’re not a good idea.

Rabbits—Not Great, Not Terrible

Rabbits are adorable, so it’s not a surprise that so many kids feel drawn to them and want them as pets. They’ll require a similar setup to that of any pocket pet, but they’re a little bit larger and more interactive than something like a mouse or rat. Rabbits can actually be really playful and have very distinct personalities.

However, they’re not just like a smaller version of a cat or dog. In fact, there’s actually a lot that people don’t know when it comes to owning a rabbit.

First of all, rabbits aren’t really meant to be caged animals, and they require way more exercise, space, and time to roam than most people think. They’re also not an animal that will be too keen on you picking it up like you would a dog or cat. Because they’re a prey animal in the wild, a rabbit’s instinct when being picked up is to flee.

Additionally, they also have super sensitive stomachs, and the wrong diet could be fatal. Ultimately, rabbits can make great pets, but they have to be in the right home.

Chicks—Worst

Most of us probably have memories of keeping baby chicks in our elementary school classrooms, and it was definitely an exciting time. Not only was it cool to watch them hatch and begin their lives, but they’re also incredibly cute and fun to hold.

It’s natural that a kid might start asking about having a chick as a pet after an experience like this, but we’re here to warn you that it really isn’t a good idea.

As sad as it is to think about, chicks can easily get crushed by a child who’s running around and not paying attention, which would obviously be a traumatic experience all around. They can also carry bacteria and viruses that can be transmitted to humans, such as salmonella, along with other zoonotic diseases.

The most important thing to remember, though, is that chicks are baby chickens, and they won’t stay that way forever. Granted, puppies and kittens don’t stay that small forever either, but caring for a full-grown chicken is a lot different from taking care of a standard household pet.

Fish—Best

Even before they consider a dog or cat, some parents lean toward a fish as their child’s first pet. In some cases, it’s an easy decision—they’re fairly cheap to buy, you really don’t have to get too many supplies, and what you do need can be found pretty much anywhere. They’re also a good pet for kids who are allergic to dogs or cats, because the kid will never even make contact with them.

Although it’s fairly easy to take care of a fish—you give them a sprinkle of food a few times a day, change their water every now and then, maybe buy them a tiki hut for their bowl—the main thing to consider is their lifespan.

Although it’s not likely th
at they’ll only live for a week, fish can be sensitive to things like water temperature, water filtration, and over- or underfeeding. Educate yourself about the specific care the type of fish you’re considering needs, talk about those needs with your kids, and go from there if they’re confident they can handle it.

Birds—Not Great, Not Terrible

Birds tend to be more of a specialty pet, mainly because of all the random equipment people need to take care of them—large cages, special foods, toys, and more. In general, birds aren’t terrible pets for children, but it’s important to consider if a child will even feel drawn to care for them once they realize that you can’t interact with a bird like you would a dog or cat.

Additionally, even when you do get all of the equipment that’s needed to take care of a bird, there’s still a lot more that goes into caring for them than just giving them food and water. As with pocket pets, most vets don’t specialize in taking care of birds, so it might be harder to get them veterinary care, and it’ll probably cost you once you do.

Ultimately, birds are probably a no for any home with young children, but they might be a good option for older kids who are actually willing to take care of them the right way.

It’s no secret that pregnancy is hard on the body, and it can definitely make getting to sleep quite a chore. Here’s why you can’t fall asleep—and what you can do about it.

Longing for a full night’s sleep?

Here are some common reasons why pregnancy can disrupt your sleeping habits, a few positions that can help you finally get a good night’s sleep, and some general tips for sleeping better while pregnant. It might seem impossible at first, but believe us, you can eventually get there. TODAY shares a few of their most practical tips as well.

Why am I uncomfortable?

Even for women in the beginning stages of their pregnancies, getting comfortable during the night can be a hard thing to accomplish. The obvious reason for this is because of your expanding belly, but what about women who aren’t even that big yet?

The SOS

The name of this position might make it sound like you’re in distress somehow, but it actually stands for “sleep on side.”

Prop yourself up.

If you tend to experience heartburn and acid reflux during the night while you’re pregnant, elevating your head while you sleep can do you a world of good.

Don’t just lie there.

Whether you’re pregnant or not, we all toss and turn from time to time as we lie in bed and try to fall asleep. If you find that you’re experiencing this more and more frequently, don’t just take it lying down—instead, get up!
It might seem counterintuitive, but taking a quick walk around your house or taking a few minutes to do a little chore you’ve been avoiding can help you slow down and feel more tired—essentially, it’s almost like you’re boring yourself to sleep.

Make the bed a sleep-only zone.

We all know that our beds are obviously there for sleeping, resting, and doing the deed, but it can be hard for our bodies to remember that when we choose to use them for work.

Put the phone away.

Even if you’re not using it to do work, it’s a good idea to put your phone down before you climb into bed. As you’re scrolling through Instagram, there are any number of random things that could make you excited or suck you in, taking you out of sleep mode pretty quickly.

Comfort is key.

There’s not a person alive who enjoys sleeping on a crappy bed, and any aches and pains you get from using a bad mattress will only be amplified while you’re pregnant. Unfortunately, it’s not always in the budget for everyone to just run out and buy a brand new mattress, but there are a few things you can do to get one for cheap or spruce up the one you have.

Turn down the thermostat.

It’s no secret that pregnant women can get hot pretty easily, and this is especially true when they’re under the covers during the night. Although you can always kick the covers off, many people would rather be hot than sleep without anything covering them—even if it means they keep waking up because they’re hot.

Skip midnight snacks.

We know that you’re eating for two—maybe even more—but right before you decide to head to bed isn’t the time you should be walking toward the refrigerator looking for a snack. Eating and then lying down can make it even more likely that you’ll experience some acid reflux, and it might just make you feel more uncomfortable during the night.

Avoid long naps.

Pregnancy can definitely make you feel worn down, and you might find yourself taking more naps throughout the day to recharge. There’s nothing wrong with this, but try not to fall asleep for hours during the middle of the day.

Often the experience of traveling to different places has the effect of reminding us just how similar we all are. You get to know people of other countries and cultures and think: Yes, our shared humanity connects us.

But if there’s anything that can cause swift division among groups and individuals, it’s the loaded issue of child-rearing. This is understandable: How we choose to raise the small humans we are wired to love more than any others in the world is touchy, not only because of that all-consuming love, but also because it means so much about who we are, how we have been shaped by our own parents, and who we want to be.

Bringing a human into the world entails certain responsibilities and sacrifices many people don’t seem to consider ahead of time. At the same time, there seems to be a uniquely American parenting ethos—one that says the world should be childproofed rather than the child be raised to live in the world, and that parents’ personhood (or at least mothers’) should be sacrificed at the altar of Perfect Parenting™.

America’s brand of Perfect Parenting™ is often not only an impossible standard for parents to achieve (mere human beings, after all), but also one that isn’t particularly healthy for children, who will come to find (some in more jarring ways than others) that the world is not childproof at all.

Still, we are all products of our culture—not to mention our own upbringing—so it takes some effort not to dismiss parenting that runs counter to these impulses as weird, negligent, or even kind of monstrous.

It’s a fun and useful exercise to examine your gut reactions to new pieces of information that don’t fit in your already established framework of How Things Are or Should Be. Give it a try! Read on for eight global parenting customs that may make you feel things.

Leaving Your Child on the Sidewalk While Dining and Shopping

If you saw that viral footage of a 4-year-old girl being snatched up in a Philadelphia store while standing a few feet away from her mother, it probably seems like a given to you that no mentally sound adult would leave their most precious cargo unattended on the sidewalk.

Yet that’s exactly what parents do in Sweden and Denmark: leave their children curbside while they go shopping or eat in a restaurant.

This doesn’t sit well with American folks, even (especially?) on the East Coast. One couple from Denmark was held for a weekend in police custody after leaving their 14-month-old alone in a stroller outside an East Village restaurant in New York City, and a Swedish woman in Amherst, Massachusetts, was reported after leaving her 1-year-old unattended outside for about 10 minutes while she ordered food inside a restaurant.

Scandinavian parents didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, since (we guess) Northern Europe is like a weird utopia. As the New York Times reports:

“In Copenhagen, a city of 1.3 million with a low crime rate and few child kidnappings, parents were astonished at Ms. Sorensen’s arrest. ‘Come on, we do this all the time,’ Line Vang told the Associated Press as she sat in a cafe while her 7-month-old son, Mathias, dozed out of reach. ‘We go in for a cup of coffee, sit so we can see the stroller, go out and check once in a while and that’s it.'”

Putting Your Babe Down for a Nap Outside in Subzero Temperatures

Lol, WHAT? Literally, what? Okay, Scandinavia, we’ve got our eye on you. We can maybe forgive some cultural lost-in-translations like misguidedly assuming that the city that inspired Gotham City is anything like an idyllic Northern European capital, but sub-zero naps? How? Why?

As Helena Lee reports for BBC News, “The theory behind outdoor napping is that children exposed to fresh air, whether in summer or the depths of winter, are less likely to catch coughs and colds—and that spending a whole day in one room with 30 other children does them no good at all.”

Naps outside typically last between one-and-a-half and three hours, according to Finnish researcher Marjo Tourula. Tourula says that –5 degrees C (23 degrees F) is considered the ideal temp for outdoor snoozing, though some parents reportedly put their children out at –30 degrees C (–22 degrees F).

“Martin Jarnstrom, head of one of the Ur och Skur group of pre-schools, is another big advocate of outdoor naps, though he emphasises that while the weather may be cold, the child must be warm,” Lee writes.

Jarnstrom highly recommends t
hat children wear wool close to the body and that they be wrapped in warm clothing as well as a warm sleeping bag.

Leaving Your Newborn for a Month

When you think of a newborn baby and a mother, you probably think of lots of sweet moments involving cuddling, sink baths, and staring into each other’s eyes. Also there’s that whole thing, typically, about being desperately in love with a new human and terrified that something bad could happen to them, which can make parting ways for the first time incredibly difficult (or so we’ve heard).

That’s why the Chinese practice zuo yuezi, intended to allow new mothers to recuperate after giving birth, may seem counterintuitive to some, because it can entail mother–baby separation of a month or longer.

As Cracked explains:

“[T]oday’s [Chinese mom] has a few more options, like checking into a resort that pampers you for weeks on end while your baby is tucked away safely out of sight. The moms who patronize these new confinement facilities can chill out, watch TV, enjoy the spa, and eat specially prescribed food from a cart brought to their rooms, all while their brand-new babies are cared for by nurses down the hall.”

Avoiding Eye Contact With Your Infant

Oh yeah, about that whole “staring into each other’s eyes” thing? Not everyone is into it—for example, Kisii, or Gusii, moms in Kenya, who avert their gaze from their children to assert their power over them. As Emily Lodish writes for NPR:

“It’s likely to sound harsh to a Western sensibility, but within the context of Kisii culture, it makes more sense. Eye contact is an act bestowed with a lot of power. It’s like saying, ‘You’re in charge,’ which isn’t the message parents want to send their kids. Researchers say Kisii kids are less attention-seeking as a result.”

Although it’s true that it sounds harsh, it does make sense, especially when put into context. “In the Western world, avoiding eye contact looks like guilt or shyness [but] [i]n the Gusii world, eye contact has power, and there are very strict rules about who you look at,” Cracked points out. “For Gusii moms, their babies are already demanding their time, their attention, and their [breasts], which is a lot of energy in a culture that needs the mom’s labor.”

Letting Babies Babysit Your Baby

Okay, so maybe “babies” is a bit of an exaggeration—but not much. According to Mei-Ling Hopgood, author of How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures in Parenting (from Argentina to Tanzania and Everywhere in Between), once children learn how to walk in Polynesia, they are handed over to other children to care for.

“Preschool-aged children learned to calm babies and toddlers became self-reliant because they were taught that that was the only way they could hang out with the big kids,” Hopgood writes.

Husband-and-wife anthropology team Jane and James Ritchie, who studied similar practices in New Zealand and the Polynesian islands, believe that the tradition wouldn’t sit well in other parts of the world.

“Indeed in Western societies, the degree of child caretaking that seems to apply in most of Polynesia would probably be regarded as child neglect and viewed with some horror,” they write in their book Growing up in Polynesia.

Sending Your Kidlet to the Subway Alone

In a place like New York City, the idea of sending out 7-year-olds to ride the subway by themselves sounds absolutely bonkers.

For parents living in Japan, however, it’s a normal occurrence to give children—even kids as young as 4—this kind of freedom. (Yes, 4-year-olds are riding subways alone in Japan.)

As NPR reports:

“Christine Gross-Loh, author of Parenting Without Borders, lives in Japan for part of each year, and when she’s there she lets her kids run errands without her, taking the subway and wandering around town as they may.”

Gross-Loh says, though, that she wouldn’t do the same in the U.S., since allowing her children to go solo subwaying in the States at such a young age would mean getting child protective services called on her. She’s probably correct.

Lenore Skenazy, for example, wrote a 2015 piece for The Washington Post headlined, “I let my 9-year-old ride the subway alone. I got labeled the ‘world’s worst mom.'”

Forcing Bébé to Like Foie Gras

If you’ve been following the parenting trends, you’ve probably already learned that French parents do literally everything better than parents from…anywhere else. (Go ahead, give it a Google. A search of “French parents better” will yield such articles as “Why French Parents Are Superior” in The Wall Street Journal and “Why French Parents Are Better Than American Parents” in Business Insider.)

Apparently, another reason they’re better is that they can create children who are not picky eaters. As Lodish writes in NPR:

“Set mealtimes; no snacking whatsoever; the expectation that if you try something enough times, you’ll like it. These are among the ‘food rules’ in France that are taken as given. The result is French kids who eat what adults eat, from foie gras to stinky cheese. Tell that to my nephew.”

American Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting, tells NPR, “We [Americans] assume…a little more that kids have inherent likes and dislikes, whereas the French view on food is the parent must educate their child and that appreciation for different food is something you cultivate over time.”

Training Your Little One Like Pavlov’s Dogs

Here’s something bizarre: You can train an infant to pee on command. Some Vietnamese moms begin training their newborn babies by making a whistling sound every time they urinate, so that the child comes to associate the sound of the whistle with urination.

As Cracked describes:

“By the age of 3 months, the moms hold their kids over toilets, give a little whistle, and their kids urinate on command, like magic. By 9 months, they’re done with diapers altogether, like some kind of…pee prodigies. By contrast, it takes American kids two and a half years or longer to shake the diaper habit.”

We could get on board with this. To me, this parenting habit makes the most sense of any of them. Then again, what do I know?

A friend and I recently got into a disagreement over parenting rules. Yeah, neither of us has kids.

Have you ever walked into a room, noticed how the kids were sitting, and thought to yourself, “Geez, how can they possibly sit that way? If I sat that way, I’d never be able to get up!” Actually—you’re probably right. Compared with adults, kids are much more flexible and have joints that are hypermobile.

As they grow, kids’ tendons, muscles, and ligaments slowly become tighter. In most cases, the greater range of motion that they’ve experienced in their joints will gradually disappear. You’ve probably felt yourself getting less flexible as you get older too.

Stretching is good for you, and it feels good to stretch and be flexible. But sometimes, as is often the case with kids, being able to overstretch can be a problem. The hyperflexibility that kids enjoy allows them to put themselves into crazy positions because, well, they can—and it’s not uncomfortable for them to do so.

But just because their bodies are able to tolerate those positions doesn’t mean it’s okay for them to do it. Unfortunately, it often ends up hurting them over time. Such is the case with what’s known as the W position.

Google the W position and you’ll be bombarded with websites of physical therapists, doctors, and healthcare professionals weighing in on how detrimental it is for kids’ bodies.

In your search, you’ll also get conflicting opinions from others, including moms, alternative healthcare practitioners, and massage therapists offering their opinions on why the W position isn’t so bad and that there are so many more important issues to worry about regarding the health and wellness of kids.

What should you do with your own children? Who is right? Well, in truth, they all are. Here’s the scoop.

What is the W position?

The W position is a seated position in which a child is basically sitting upright on their knees with their legs fanned out in opposite directions—making the shape of the letter W. At first glance, it would seem awfully painful to sit that way—and it would be, if your knees weren’t flexible.

But kids’ lower bodies are super flexible, and they can do it easily. However, studies have shown that excessive use of this position during kids’ growing years can lead to future orthopedic problems.

Why do kids sit like that?

Kids love to play and be active, and the floor is often their most preferred space. They grab toys, twist themselves, and contort their bodies according to the need of the activity that they’re doing.

Kids intrinsically know what’s comfortable for them and what will give them the greatest “edge” in play. They realize pretty quickly that the W position offers them the most balance by giving them added trunk and hip stability to allow easier toy manipulation and play.

What harm does the W position cause?

Sitting once or twice in the W position will cause no long-term harm, but if a child uses this as their go-to way of sitting for multiple hours a day every day, that’s when it can become a problem, both physically and developmentally.

In the W position, the muscles, ligaments, and joints are put in unnatural positions. As a result, the lateral muscles in a child’s legs will begin to tighten and cause the insides of their legs to become weak and loose.

This imbalance can affect th
e development of their motor skills, balance, and coordination. It also can cause some major problems with their knees and ligaments, including kneecap tracking issues, tendinitis, dislocation, and ligament strains.

Issues of not sitting properly will affect not only a child’s knees but also their hips, back, and core. Improper alignment of their muscles can tighten their hips, wreak havoc on the muscles in their back, and cause their core to be weak. Because proper posture is not required in this position, the back and core muscles don’t have to do much work, and strength will start to deteriorate.

Unfortunately, there’s a bit of a ripple effect. When the back and core become weak and posture is compromised, the neck and head can be affected, often painfully.

Part of the issue with the W position is the inability of a child to move around properly and naturally. Sure they’re more balanced and “fixed” through the trunk, but it doesn’t allow for trunk rotation or lateral weight shifts (like twisting to reach for things).

It’s easy to see why this position appeals to children, but experts believe that the more a child sits in the W position, the more likely they are to miss developing more mature movement patterns that are necessary for higher-level skills.

What other positions are bad for kids?

Unfortunately, the W position is only one of many common seated positions that aren’t great for kids.

The cross-legged position (“criss/cross applesauce”) places a child’s legs in much the same position as the W, and children who do this often will also suffer from the same issues (tightening of the outside of the legs and loosening of the inside, posture problems, and weak core).

Additionally, further issues occur when a child crosses the same leg over every time. It can set up unhealthy imbalances and throw their body even more out of alignment.

Sitting on the heels is considered a slightly better position, but not great either. It puts added strain on the knees and also compresses the knee joint and puts pressure on knee cartilage. This can cause pain, strain, and eventually, possible dislocation.

It can weaken the core and back, and it puts strain on the anterior portion of the ankle, which can lead to instability. Minor injuries can occur, such as twisting and sprains, or in some cases, more major ones, like fractures.

The hurdler stretch is a more exaggerated version of the W stretch, and the issues that go along with this stretch are, accordingly, a lot worse.

Most fitness programs and school athletics no longer use this stretch and have traded it for the healthier figure 4 stretch instead.

The hurdler stretch puts strain and pressure on the knee, most particularly the medial collateral ligaments (MCL), and also the inner thigh and hip ligaments. This position should be avoided at all costs.

So how should kids sit?

By now you might be shaking your head and are so confused that you’ve resolved to have your child just stand for the rest of their life. There’s no need to worry! Through daily practice of proper seating, you’ll be able to change your child’s sitting habits to healthier ones.

When children are sitting on the floor, the most recommended position is sitting with both knees bent, to the front of the body. Their arms can be back behind them or hugging their knees.

They can also sit with their legs completely extended to the front with their arms behind them. If a wall is nearby, it may be helpful to lean against it.

Normal sitting position tucks the sacrum (tailbone) underneath the body and puts pressure on the lower back. If the child is sitting on the floor—in any position—it’s helpful to put a towel or pillow under their rear end.

Sitting on an exercise ball is actually the best sitting position for a child (and adults, too!) It puts them in proper position, keeps the lower back aligned, and helps activate the core. Plus it’s fun!

Knowing the most basic tips of first aid can save your child’s life. Thousands of children every year suffer from life-threatening accidents such as poisoning, head trauma, and burns. Statistics show that 140,000 people die each year in situations in which first aid could have helped save their lives. 

Unfortunately, most parents aren’t doing their part to help; 80 percent of parents with children aged 6 to 9 say they wouldn’t have a clue how to deal with a medical emergency. Another disturbing statistic is that 57 percent of parents said they would leave an injured child alone until an ambulance arrived.

As far as first aid is concerned, a little knowledge goes a very long way. The key to handling an emergency situation successfully is to be calm and prepared. Here are the most common injuries in kids and how to deal with them.

Choking

A child’s airway can be impeded by small objects, toys, or food like nuts, grapes, and hot dogs. If you notice your kid coughing, they’re trying to get air into their lungs and clear their airway. Coughing is the most effective way to clear an airway. If the child can’t cough or make a sound, or if their skin turns bright red or blue—they may have stopped breathing and someone must call 911 immediately.

If you’re alone, administer two minutes of CPR, then call 911. Proceed with the following.

Try to dislodge the stuck object by giving five blows to their back. Place them face down on your forearm, and use the heel of your other hand to deliver five firm back blows to the area between their shoulder blades.

If the object doesn’t come up, turn them on their back and make sure that their head and neck are lower than their torso. Start with five chest compressions. Repeat five blows and five chest compressions until the object is coughed up or baby starts to breathe or cough.

If the baby becomes unconscious, give them two rescue breaths by putting your mouth on their mouth and nose. If the breaths don’t go in, tilt their head further back, lift their chin, and give two more breaths. Try looking for the stuck object. Be careful not to stick your finger in their mouth unless you can actually retrieve the object—you can end up pushing it down further.

Give another rescue breath. If their chest doesn’t rise, you must start CPR. Give 30 compressions followed by two rescue breaths. Check for breathing and if the stuck object has dislodged. If you notice no change, continue giving sets of 30 compressions and two rescue breaths until they can breathe, an automated external defibrillator (AED) is ready to use, or emergency medical services arrives. If they begin to breathe, give one more breath then monitor their breathing and pulse.

Skin Wounds

Minor Scrapes and Cuts

Most of these can be treated easily. Simply wash the cut with soap and water, pat dry, and then apply an antibiotic ointment (bacitracin or Neosporin) and a bandage. Replace the bandage once a day until it heals.

If you notice the area getting redder or pus discharging—or if your child develops a fever—call your doctor.

Bruises

If your child’s skin looks purplish or red, it means that there was bleeding under the skin. Apply ice to the area to decrease pain and swelling. 

(Pro tip: freeze wet sponges in Ziploc bags to create reusable, affordable ice packs!)

Severe Cuts

If you can’t
stop a wound from bleeding after several attempts at direct pressure, or if it continues to bleed for more than five minutes, call 911.

Continue to apply pressure with a clean cloth to the site and elevate the injured area above the heart if you can.

Head

Head injuries are the most common type of injury in young children. There are varying degrees of injury to the head, but as a rule of thumb, call 911 immediately if your child exhibits any of the following: loss of consciousness, seizure, bruising around the eyes or behind the ears, lethargy or disorientation, or oozing blood or other fluid from the ears or nose.

In the case of a head injury, your child SHOULD NOT be moved under any circumstances. It could further injure them. Even the mildest head injury should be seen by a doctor; they’ll be able to test for a concussion and other injuries.

Nosebleeds

Nosebleeds may be common in kids, but they also may be a result of injury. Have your child sit upright and pinch the lower end of their nose close to their nostrils.

Lean them forward and apply constant pressure for five to 10 minutes. If trauma occurred to the nose, apply ice against the bridge of their nose.

Eye

An eye injury needs to be handled with as much care as a head injury. The greatest concern with eye injuries is if the vision is damaged. As with head injuries, all eye injuries, no matter how minor they seem, should be seen by a doctor. Common injuries to the eye include bruising, scratches on the cornea, or foreign substance in the eye.

If the child has severe pain, tearing, blurry vision, or light sensitivity after being hit in the eye, hold a cool, wet cloth over their eye and head to your doctor or emergency room. It’s important not to rub the eye, administer any medication, or remove any embedded objects on your own.

If a substance does happen to fall or splash in the eye, flush it with water for 15 minutes, then head to the doctor. If the substance is a chemical, call Poison Control: 800-222-1222.

Burns

Burns to the skin are normally classified into three degrees and characterized by the following: first degree (redness), second degree (blistering), and third degree (charring of the skin).

For any type of burn, the first rule is to cool the burned area by running it under water. Cover the burn or any blisters with a clean bandage or gauze. Never apply ice or ointment directly to a burn.

If any burns are on the face, hands, or genitals or if they’re larger than ¼ inch, then you should call the doctor. Additionally, if the burn is deep (skin is white or brown and dry) go directly to the ER. If your child has been burned by a chemical (e.g., paint remover, oven cleaner, or bleach) run cool water over the area and call 911.

If it’s an electrical burn (such as when a child puts a metal object into an outlet or bites an electrical cord), keep the burn away from water, cover it with a bandage, and call 911.

Poisoning

Accidental poisoning should be taken extremely seriously. Babies and young children are especially susceptible to poisoning because of their small size and underdeveloped physiology. If you think that your child has ingested a toxic substance (e.g., medicine, pesticide, supplement, cleaning product, household chemical) you must call Poison Control immediately: 800–222–1222.

When you call, try to have as much information as possible for the phone agent: what product was ingested, ingredients in t
he product, how much you suspect your child ingested, the child’s symptoms, at what time the ingestion occurred, and if your child has any medical conditions.

Do NOT make your child vomit by administering ipecac or activated charcoal unless directed by a healthcare professional. Check your child’s mouth to see if any poison remains and have them spit it out. Save this, along with any vomited material. They may be necessary to analyze what was ingested.