Category: Motherhood

For as long as we can remember, pink has been associated with girls and blue with boys. But it’s time to break away from these sexist confines and let kids pick out whatever they want to play with. First, though, have a good laugh (and maybe a small scream) over these ridiculous children’s items.

Many of us have long been frustrated with the idea that certain toys are for boys and others are for girls, and it’s an issue that persists. It has long been the tradition that anything made for girls comes in a range of pinks and purples, whereas clothes and toys for boys are made in shades of blue. But the sex segregation in children’s clothing and toys seem to have only gotten worse as time goes on.

There are some who might think that a toy can’t do much damage, but that’s really not true.

pic.twitter.com/dbJ7p8FYGt

— Let Toys Be Toys (@LetToysBeToys) April 3, 2015

The history of the cesarean section dates back to Ancient Roman times and is believed to be named after Julius Caesar, who was born by the method. Way back when, C-sections weren’t performed very often (most of the time they were under emergency conditions), and not much was known about them. Fast forward centuries and how things have changed! These days, over 30 percent of babies every year are safely birthed via C-section.

Even with hundreds of years of research and medical progress behind us, having a C-section can still be a stressful experience. Well-meaning friends and family often try to help with their own tips and advice, but that usually just serves to make the whole thing even more confusing. With all of the rumors and myths flying around about C-sections, let us help ease your worries. Read on about what you need to know about giving birth via cesarean.

Once you have one, you can never go back.

Many women worry that once they have a cesarean birth, they’ll never be able to birth a child via vaginal delivery, known as vaginal birth after cesarean or VBAC. But studies show great success rates of vaginal delivery—60 to 80 percent—after C-sections, according to Dr. Adam Paxton OB/GYN at Newton Medical Center in Newton, NJ.

The Guide to Effective Care in Pregnancy and Childbirth also concludes that “the available evidence does not suggest that a woman that has had more than one previous cesarean section should be treated any differently from the woman who has had only one cesarean section.”

The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists suggests there are a number of factors that would determine the decision whether to give birth one way or the other and that a mother should work with her doctor to determine the safest option for her and her baby.

You can’t breastfeed.

This is a common worry among expecting mothers that is thankfully unfounded. Shilpi S. Mehta-Lee, assistant professor of Maternal Fetal Medicine at NYU Langone Medical Center, told the Huffington Post that a woman’s method of delivery does not affect her ability to breastfeed.

All women, no matter how they have given birth, should have the opportunity to provide for their newborn. 

It’s important to note that the initial transition from colostrum to mature milk may be slower (possibly a day or two) in women who have given birth via C-section, but there are ways to bond with the baby and increase milk production.

As a mother’s milk does emerge, she should consult with a licensed lactation consultant or attending nurse, because they’ll be able to provide breastfeeding positions and baby lifting/carrying options that will minimize stress on a C-section incision and help ease belly discomfort.

You can only have a certain number of C-sections.

Doctors concur that there is no predetermined number of C-section surgeries that is safe for a woman to have. She may be able to have multiple C-sections over a lifetime, or a doctor may suggest that she have only one.

Although some studies have shown that medical risks may go up with each procedure, it’s important to note that each pregnancy is individual and should take a mother’s medical history and previous experience into account.

You can’t hold your baby after.

Everyone agrees that skin-to-skin contact is really important for mom and baby after birth, but sometimes the medical staff gets nervous about a new mom holding a baby when she has just undergone surgery.

The best thing for an expecting mother to do is talk to her doctor about possible concerns, discuss the hospital’s protocol, and ask if there’s a possibility for someone on her birth team to oversee the process.

You can’t exercise for 6 weeks.

The ol’ stay-in-bed-for-weeks-and-heal routine is so old scho
ol. The truth is doctors want new mothers to get moving! They want them up and walking to promote healing the day after they give birth.

A three-mile walk may be a little lofty of a goal, but they usually recommend a daily slow lap or two around the hospital floor to get the lungs and muscles working properly again after surgery. 

If there have been no extensive issues like blood loss, blood clots, or bladder injury, a doctor may allow a mother to start doing upper-body exercises and longer walks at week three. After the six-week checkup she should be cleared for general exercise.

It may take some time, post-surgery, to build up strength and endurance (and certain squatting and leaning exercises may still be too uncomfortable), but rest assured that muscle memory will kick in and she’ll be moving and grooving in no time!

Your abdomen will never be the same.

The C-section involves the cutting of the abdomen, which is major surgery, but the good news is the shape of your abdomen will eventually return to normal! It will take a bit of time though.

Doctors recommend that a new mom can start doing ab exercises to tone her belly after 6 weeks. The key is to start slowly with basic exercises and gradually increase the intensity.

Although your belly will start looking better pretty quickly, it’s important to remember that many women report it taking up to a full year to really feel and look normal.

And your scar? The good news about C-sections being around for centuries is that these doctors have gotten really good at sewing your abdomen up and making the scar as small and unnoticeable as possible. Postpartum support garments and Spanx can help with healing in the early weeks.

Getting intimate will never be the same again.

Getting intimate after childbirth ranks up there in a couple’s top concerns (and fears). When can you start? How is it going to feel? Will it still be good? Will it hurt? Will your partner still find you attractive? This topic has been known to give many a new mom a set of panic attacks.

Doctors recommend that as long as your body is physically ready (and your head is emotionally ready), there are many benefits to getting it on after having a baby: physical benefits like hormones being released to help the uterus return back to its normal shape and psychological benefits like feeling more loving and connected.

It’s recommended that you wait 4 to 6 weeks after you give birth, though, to allow for the cervix to close, for bleeding to stop, and for any tears to heal.

You’ve failed as a mother.

Nothing enrages new moms who have given birth via C-section more than the occasional know-it-all, super crunchy mom who responds to her surgery with a pitying look and a patronizing “I’m so sorry you couldn’t give birth naturally.” In fact, there are support groups dedicated to this!

Last time we checked, if a mother was pregnant, then a baby appeared out of her body, she in fact has given birth…regardless of the mechanism. 

There will always be pressure from certain communities to give birth a certain way that they claim to be natural (e.g., without induction, without pain medication, vaginally), but circumstances, babies, and moms are all unique, and no one should be bullied into other ways of thinking.

The important thing
to concentrate on is delivering a healthy baby and staying positive and healthy to care for your newborn—no matter how you gave birth.

Being pregnant can be a wonderfully exciting time, but it also can be quite confusing. Thank goodness that in the 21st century pregnant women can rest easy knowing that they’re often on the right track by following medical advice that’s been backed by hundreds of years of research and studies. This wasn’t always the case, unfortunately.

Being female and pregnant in the Middle Ages was pretty risky. Most male doctors were prevented from treating women for any issues related to sexuality or reproduction, so obstetric and gynecological care was provided by midwives and “wise women” (lay healers). Medical training for midwives was nonexistent. They used the teachings of Aristotle and Hippocrates, looked at bodily fluids, and sometimes turned to superstition to provide advice and care—which, as you can imagine, was often really odd and unconventional.
Ever wonder what it was like to be pregnant way back when? Step back in time with us and check out the weirdest advice for pregnant women in history.

Always wear a corset.

Women in the Victorian era loved their corsets! They represented femininity and social status, and every female was expected to wear one (most women wouldn’t dare to be seen in public without one). Pregnant women were no exception.

Lane Bryant, a popular fashion company, summed it up with their marketing slogan, “For your own sake, and for the sake of the baby to come, you must be correctly corseted during the maternity period.”
We’re not sure whether they meant that it was unhealthy or not proper (or both), but in either case, wearing a corset during pregnancy proved to be problematic. Corsets were intended to restrict the size of a woman’s waist—not offer support—and women ran into trouble when they wore their undergarments too tight.

The practice known as tightlacing caused ill effects on a woman’s body such as lung issues, constipation, lower back pain, and muscle atrophy. And it could, unfortunately, cause a woman to miscarry.

Don’t take baths.

Soranus of Ephesus, a Greek physician, believed that it was especially harmful to take a bath in the first week of pregnancy. Because so many people know when they’re only a week pregnant…

Anyway, he thought that the water’s hot temperature could not only cause a drop in blood pressure and make a woman dizzy (not so unrealistic), but (and this is where he loses credibility) could also “loosen the texture of the whole body” and weaken the fetus.

Don’t throw a mouse or a frog on a pregnant woman.

Just in case one needed a reason to not throw things at a pregnant woman, Paré (a doctor to French kings and author of On Monsters and Marvels) explained further that it was really important to take care to not do so because the unborn baby could be permanently scarred.

For example, throwing a mouse or a frog on a woman’s teats could turn the child into a monster, and throwing a cherry pit could “stain” the baby.

Watch what you eat.

Soranus, that Greek physician, believed that what a woman ate could potentially harm the fetus. He preached that flatulence could cause ill effects (it’s unclear what ill effects), constipation could suffocate a child, and diarrhea could actually wash the child away.

The Distaff Gospels, a 15th-century book of old wives’ tales, went into more detail about the culinary choices of a mother and the consequences to her baby. It taught that a woman should not eat fish heads because that would cause a baby to have a mouth that was more pointed than normal.
It was also believed that in order to give birth to a healthy and dry-tempered male child (the preferred sex) a pregnant woman should eat warm and dry foods and avoid fruit altogether (unless she wanted to give birth to snake-like objects).

Don’t have intercourse.

As much as a woman might want (or not want) to have intercourse, medieval doctors discouraged them from doing it while they were pregnant. They warned that a woman’s lustful thoughts and actions could have severe and permanent effects on a developing fetus and cause it to be unchaste.

They further cautioned that if intercourse could not be avoided, then care should be taken to not engage with a man with dirty and stinky feet or the child could be born stinky. If it were a male child, it would have unpleasant breath and if it were female, a stinky rear end.

Medieval lore also warned that it was important to not have intercourse too often. It could “wear out” the woman’s baby-making machinery, and too much “seed” in a woman’s body could produce multiple babies.

Eat what your body tells you to eat.

Now this is some advice that modern-day pregnant women can get behind! Medieval doctors believed that a woman must give in to her culinary cravings, no matter how odd. Failing to do so could cause a baby to be born without vital organs or with birthmarks.

But if the expectant mother was craving the head of a hare (as one does), she should resist at all costs. Eating one would result in a child with a split or cleft lip.

Bring the hyena in.

If being pregnant for 9 months during the Middle Ages seemed daunting, the actual act of childbirth was even more so. Without modern-day equipment and hospitals, women had to rely on superstition and prayer.

Pliny the Elder was a Greek scientist who was a self-proclaimed expert on childbirth. He believed that the smell of fat from a hyena’s loins could put a woman into labor. He also thought that a woman must take care during the birthing process because if she placed the right foot of the animal on herself it would be an easy birth, but if the left foot was placed on her, she could die.
Some other childbirth advice included rubbing an expectant mother’s hips and privates with violet or rose oil, giving her pepper so she could “sneeze the child out,” tying a snakeskin around her hips, or eating butter with baby-producing words carved in it.

Watch where you look.

It was of the utmost importance for a pregnant woman to take special care to watch where she looked throughout her pregnancy and during childbirth, because it could have permanent effects on a child’s physical appearance. (Translation: If a woman looked at ugly things while she was pregnant, her child would end up being ugly.)

Paré warned that a woman gave birth to a child covered in hair because she looked at a picture of John the Baptist dressed in animal skin as she conceived. He also explained how a two-headed beggar was banned from her town because of the ill effects she might have on pregnant women and cause them to give birth to two-headed babies.

It was also common knowledge that a pregnant woman was supposed to avoid looking at her pets or other animals because her baby could end up looking like them.
Although modern-day childbirth is often pretty grueling, we can all agree that current practices surrounding pregnancy and giving birth are leaps and bounds ahead of some of history’s most eyebrow-raising practices.

It takes a village to raise a child…and $233,610, according to the latest figures from the Department of Agriculture.
Yeah, kids are expensive. We realize that’s not new information to any parent.
However, young parents might not realize that many expenses are optional, provided that you’re willing to be the Big, Bad Parent that denies certain creature comforts.

“Because we are trained by society to be busy, and because having children truly does make life quite full, parents may lean towards quick fixes to bring ease,” Courtney Harris, M.Ed, an experienced educator and parenting coach, tells HealthyWay. “When we feel overly busy or overwhelmed, it’s easier to buy things or say yes to options that bring temporary relief (or even just the possibility of temporary relief).”
To be clear, kids will always be fairly expensive, but you’ll save a few thousand bucks by cutting out…

1. The Trendiest Toys

Popular electronic toys for babies and young children can seem like a necessity—especially when the product is marketed as “educational.” However, in reality, these products usually don’t offer much in way of actual substance.

“They cost a lot. And they create a lot of sensory stimulation—sounds, changing lights, movement, etc. which is not so great for young kids,” psychologist Anna Prudovski tells HealthyWay. “Babies learn about their world through interaction, which is meant to be slower-paced. Over-stimulation makes them tired and cranky but doesn’t teach much.”
You might be tempted to buy those ultra-expensive toys for Christmas, but stick to your principles. Remember that your kid will move on from the trendy stuff fairly quickly.

2. A Castle in Their Kingdom

What’s more American than a swing set in the backyard or a little log cabin for the kids’ playroom? Playsets are a classic children’s gift, but they’re also a ridiculous purchase in many households.

Here’s why: For kids, playsets typically hold their allure for a few months, at most. For parents, they become an obnoxious obstruction. If they’re indoors, you have to clean around them. If they’re outdoors, they can actually lower your property value, and some insurance providers might cancel your policy if the playsets create a liability.
On top of that, playsets can be extraordinarily expensive. As with so many of the other items on this list, you can save a ton by buying used playsets (trust us, there are plenty of parents looking to get rid of these things).
Alternately, you can build your own—and in the process, you’ll be avoiding pressure-treated wood with preservatives like copper, chromium, and arsenic.

3. Go Go Gadgets

Your kid wants a brand-new, state-of-the-art computer capable of playing all the latest video games. You might consider dropping a thousand dollars or more for the latest and greatest tech, but that machine will be essentially obsolete within a few years (if your kid doesn’t manage to break it first).

First, consider whether your child actually needs a computer, and make sure that you’ve got the requisite tools to keep your kid safe online. Alas, even if you’re a tech guru, your kid is eventually going to be better at computers than you are, so your safety precautions need to be absolutely foolproof.
Once you’ve worked through those considerations, look into starting out with a cheaper machine, at least until your teen has established good internet habits. Low-powered laptop computers like Chromebooks are excellent options, as they’re well equipped for browsing the internet, writing documents, and playing simple games. They’re also quite inexpensive, so if something goes horribly wrong, it’s not a big deal.

4. Learning a Few Chords

We’re certainly not saying that you shouldn’t get kids started on music early. However, before you blow a fortune on a trumpet (pardon the pun), make sure that you’re getting something that your kid actually wants—and that he or she will stick with it.

Many schools can hook you up with an instrument rental program. If your school isn’t helpful, hit up the local music store. They’ll also be able to give you some tips on what to buy (or how to rent) for a younger learner.
“When a kid is 4 or 5, she’s usually capable of learning an instrument,” a St. Louis-based music instructor who asked to remain anonymous tells us. “Parents shouldn’t push their kids too hard, but it’s never too early to start. With that said, many kids grow out of it, so rent before you buy.”

That could help you avoid wasting money on an adult-sized instrument that your child won’t be able to manage. As always, try to buy used.
Take the money that you were going to spend on a new, shiny instrument and put it toward lessons; you’ll get much more bang for your buck, and your kid will stand a better chance of becoming a well-rounded musician if they get the guidance they need right away.

5. Fashion Model Status

When it comes to what clothing they wear, “before the end of middle school, kids don’t really care,” according to Prudovski.
“When they start caring, this often turns into yet another source of struggle, as they want the latest popular brands and trends—no point of getting them to that stage earlier than needed.”

Kids will be absolutely fine in whatever you can provide for them, provided that it’s not absolutely hideous (we’ll never forgive our moms for getting us those camo print cargo shorts, either). Sure, babies look cute in Louis Vuitton, but they’ll grow out of those expensive clothes in a matter of weeks. Most clothes don’t have any sort of resale value whatsoever, so your best bet is to go with the best deal.
That doesn’t necessarily mean cheap clothes, however—buy well-made garments that will last through a few tussles on the playground before they inevitably end up in a Goodwill donation bin.
Oh, and by the way, Goodwill? It’s a totally great place to shop for children. Where else can you pick up seven name-brand shirts for a couple of bucks? Just be sure to launder those clothes before you pass them off to the kids.

6. IDK My BFF Jill

Sure, every kid on your block has a smartphone, but your job as a parent isn’t to make your child like every other child; it’s to do what’s best for them.
That might mean refusing a request for a new cellphone, at least until your child is responsible enough to carry one. Ditto for tablets and other mobile devices.

“There’s usually a lot of pressure from the child to get the phone early. And if could be reassuring for the parent to know that the child is just a call or text away at all times,” says Prudovski. “But more and more studies point to a correlation between excessive use of electronic devices and mental health issues. Most kids could really do without a smartphone until high school or at least late middle school.”
When you believe that your kid’s ready for a phone, try giving them a cheap, non-smartphone (yes, they still make them) for a few months. If that device isn’t irreparably damaged by the end of the trial period, you can consider a more expensive option.
Remember, even if your kid’s ready for a smartphone, you don’t need to buy a brand-new model. Look on Craigslist for a gently used smartphone, taking care to wipe the storage before handing it over. Your pocketbook will thank you (even if your child doesn’t).

7. Cartoon-Covered Bicycles

Well, new bicycles, anyway.

Bikes are expensive, and there’s not a huge advantage to buying them new. With a little elbow grease, you can fix up any old bike so that it looks great, and those brand-new mountain bikes aren’t so great in the first place—just ask any bike repair shop for their opinion on the specials from big box stores.
If you can find them, older bikes are built to last, and they’ll teach your kid some important skills (repairing a flat tire, for instance, or resetting a chain). Your kid won’t care if a bike’s secondhand, anyway, and you’ll save a decent amount of money.
You can put the cash you save toward new safety gear, which is a must. Be sure that your child gets into the habit of wearing a helmet and pads, and never buy helmets secondhand, as a single crash can compromise the helmet’s structural integrity.
Oh, and make sure that both the bike and helmet are sized properly; the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration provides a simple guide with more safe biking tips.

8. Baby’s First Vacation

Don’t learn this lesson the hard way: Big family vacations can wait.
We totally get it, by the way. You’re excited about your new baby, and you’re ready for your first family vacation. You choose some far-off destination and start packing your bags. It’s all in good fun, right? Think of all the memories you’ll make!

But trust us, it won’t be easy. There are few things worse than traveling with an infant, and until your kid is at least potty trained, you probably won’t have a great experience. True, their innocent delight at the sights and sounds of a new destination might be worth it, but be prepared to spend much of the trip dealing with tantrums, feedings, and general misery.
While some people may want their toddlers to see the world (and that’s understandable), it’s not until a kid is 8 or 9 years old that they’ll really appreciate what they’re seeing. Holding off until that age could serve the kiddo and your wallet well.

That might be a bummer, but knowing when to spend and when to save is an important part of being a parent.
“To be honest, kids do not need most of the expensive things we buy them,” says Prudovski. “They need a safe and calm environment and a parent who can interact with them. No electronics and expensive toys or gadgets required.”
Good luck.