Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Easy Ways To Infuse Your Modern Life With Ayurvedic Medicine

There’s no one path to wellness. In a world filled with dictatorial diets, detailed skincare routines, endless pressure to stay fit, and apps that nudge us to meditate on schedule, it’s totally refreshing to remind ourselves that we can pick and choose the practices that make us feel our best—even if that changes day to day. But the idea of individualized wellness isn’t a novel concept—it’s exactly what Ayurvedic medicine has prescribed for 5,000 years.
Ayurvedic medicine is widely considered the world’s oldest healthcare system—yet, with so many of us seeking alternatives and complementary approaches to traditional Western medicine, it’s more relevant than ever.

What is Ayurvedic medicine?

On a metaphysical level, Ayurveda is built around the five elements of ether, fire, air, water, and earth, and says we’re all composed of three distinctive doshas, or energies, known as vata, pitta, and kapha. The Indian philosophy finds no separation between the mind and body; rather, every part of ourselves is intertwined deeply with spirituality and the environment. Ayurvedic medicine aims to determine what you need and when, in effort to optimize your wellbeing.
“Ayurveda is the ancient Indian science which I call the manual for living a healthy life. In the age of modern medicine … Ayurveda can bring a fresh breeze,” explains Seema Datta, an Ayurvedic medicine consultant with more than 20 years of experience. “Ayurvedic medicine focuses on prevention of the disease first and treatment when needed. It includes diet and lifestyle, meditation, breathing, positive affirmations, herbs, and various physical treatments.”
Here’s the thing, though: If you’re looking for scientific proof for most of the promised benefits of Ayurvedic medicine, you won’t find it (at least not according to the National Institutes of Health). But anyone who’s dabbled in wellness rituals knows that these practices are instead much more about whether something makes sense for your life in a given moment. And that idea perfectly complements the philosophy behind Ayurveda. Plus, the vast array of Ayurvedic medicine practices have little to no risk of harm, so you’ve got nothing to lose.
Devoted Ayurvedic practitioners use the teachings of the original Vedic texts (the oldest scriptures of Hinduism) to influence every aspect of their lives, from precisely when they wake up to what to eat when the seasons change. In short, there are lots and lots of rules. But it doesn’t have to be an all-consuming routine. The beauty of Ayurvedic medicine is that you can select the exact combination of practices that work for you—and leave the rest behind.
Ready to dive in? Here are some easy ways to incorporate Ayurvedic medicine into your modern life.

Take the Ayurvedic approach to sleep.

Human beings used to rest when it got dark and wake up around sunrise. But in our modern world, our nature as diurnal animals is continually disrupted by our work-focused culture and endless screen time. How many times have you stayed up way too late scrolling through the ‘gram like a zombie (and woken up feeling like one)?
Strict Ayurvedic medicine recommends impossibly early bedtimes (i.e. sunset). That’s when we’re most likely to get non-REM sleep—the kind of shut-eye that actually makes us feel refreshed when we get back up. But since hitting the hay at dusk just isn’t realistic, modern Ayurvedic practitioners say going to bed by 10 p.m. is a happy middle ground.
Adjusting your sleep schedule isn’t easy, but it can be done over a couple of weeks. Work on building a better bedtime routine to get your brain ready for sleep earlier in the night.
“Notice when you first start yawning and begin your wind-down practice then,” says Cat Pacini, Ayurvedic lifestyle consultant at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health. “Put away the electronics, read an actual book or write in a journal, and consider doing some restorative yoga or stretching—anything that shifts the energy to help you ground.”
Ideally, Ayurvedic medicine recommends rising just before sunrise. Easier said than done, but setting your alarm an hour or two before you have to jet off to work will give you time for contemplation and mindfulness—and help you become a more balanced version of yourself.
“Even spending just five minutes in the morning to check in with yourself and how you feel will set the right energetic tone for the day,” explains Pacini.

Build a better bathroom routine with Ayurvedic medicine.

Do you brush your teeth and wash your face in the a.m.? Then you’ve already begun incorporating Ayurvedic medicine into your life.
“Ayurveda says to do a whole routine in the morning,” says Pacini. “If you really did what the classic texts say, it would take a couple of hours. But the basic idea is you wake up early and take care of your senses.”
Since you probably don’t have the time to spend half the morning primping, focus on a few key practices.
Ayurvedic practitioners strongly recommend including tongue scraping in your dental hygiene. It helps “clear toxins, bacteria, debris” and other gunk from your tongue, according to Sahara Rose Ketabi, author of the Idiot’s Guide to Ayurveda. Just place the scraper on the back of your tongue, gently scrape it forward 10 times, then rinse out your mouth.
Ayurvedic medicine also encourages people to give their eyes a little TLC with a gentle spritz of rosewater.
“It’s really refreshing, especially for people who do a lot of computer work or face a lot of pollution. Rosewater is cooling—it helps calm red eyes,” says Pacini.
Finally, drink a full glass of room-temperature water before ingesting anything else in the morning. It stimulates the “fire” of the digestive system, according to Ayurvedic medicine, and rehydrates you after 8 hours of sleep.

Take care of your skin.

Given that Ayurvedic medicine is about total body healing, it makes sense that it prescribes specific rituals for the largest organ: our skin. Ayurvedic skincare practices will help keep your skin healthy and might even give you an all-day glow.
“Try garshana, which means dry brushing,” says Cat Aldana, an integrative Ayurvedic medicine practitioner and founder of the corporate wellness and Ayurvedic retreat company Eat Stretch Nap. “This practice involves using a dry brush to brush skin (like you would hair) in long upward motions towards the heart to circulate energy, increase blood flow, and help shed dry skin. Dry brushing is typically done for 1-2 minutes before a shower and leaves you feeling super refreshed and clean.”
You know how glorious your skin and body feel after a massage? You don’t need to go to a spa to get that feeling—give yourself Ayurvedic medicine oil massages, known as abhyanga, right at home. Choose a natural oil, such as organic coconut oil, warm it up, and gently massage it into your body, scalp, and hair, says Aldana.
“After you have finished rubbing in the oil, set a timer and lay down in savasana on a towel for 5-20 minutes, or however long your body needs to rest,” she says. “This practice is perfect for smoothing and nurturing your skin while detoxifying the body. The best time for an oil massage is right before a shower. It’s also also a perfect opportunity to notice and appreciate your body for all that it does for you.”

Eat the Ayurvedic way.

Ayurvedic medicine gets pretty detailed when describing what you should eat. It takes into account which dosha is predominant and offers guidelines on meal times, portion sizes, and the best kinds of foods for your body as the seasons change. The idea is that mindful eating fuels our bodies and acts as a deterrent for disease.
If you want to dabble in the Ayurvedic diet, start by regulating the size of your meals. While Western cultures typically make breakfast or dinner the largest meal of the day, Ayurvedic medicine recommends lunch as your main meal—that’s when you’ll need the most energy and have ample time to digest properly.
“It shouldn’t be a huge meal, but make it the one with the densest amount of nutrients,” says Pacini. “Digestion is strongest at the pitta time of day [10 a.m.-2 p.m.]. Take a lunch break and focus on what you’re eating.”
Think salad is your best bet for a healthy, nutrient-rich meal? You’re not wrong, but Ayurvedic medicine believes that cooked food is a little easier on the digestive system. Opt for lightly cooked vegetables and lots of whole foods whenever possible.
“Stay clear from excess cold, dry, and raw foods, which can cause a vata imbalance. Vata is a cold, dry energy, therefore we must counterbalance it with warm, moist foods,” says Ketabi. “Make your salad and have soup on the side. Drink hot water with your green juice. Use room temperature instead of frozen fruits in your smoothie. Warm your body so your digestion can work more effectively, allowing you to absorb more nutrients.”
As much as you can, cook your own foods to align your body with Ayurvedic medicine. The Everyday Ayurveda Cookbook: A Seasonal Guide to Living and Eating Well by Kate O’Donnell offers plenty of easy, tasty recipes backed by vedic knowledge, and serves as a thorough starter guide to Ayurvedic cooking.
Finally, eat slowly and mindfully—the Ayurvedic way. Don’t rush through meals or try to work as you chew.
“Actually sitting and eating is really important so we can digest our food well. That’s what’s giving us energy and strength,” says Pacini.
Ayurvedic medicine provides plenty of tools to help us build healthy, self-care lifestyles. Try out the rituals of this ancient philosophy to see what helps you thrive. And if certain practices don’t appeal to you, ditch ‘em. It’s about making time for yourself, not forcing you into a rigid routine—so embrace it!

Categories
Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

40 Amazon Products For People Who Are So Anxious They Just Can't Even

Feeling anxious is much more than being a little nervous or having a little extra stress in your life. Anxiety can make it difficult to cope with the challenges that come your way and may even make normal everyday tasks feel daunting.
Many people with anxiety need professional guidance for managing their symptoms. Some may need to explore medication, while others might find relief from therapy.
Others may be able to find relief from anxiety by adjusting their routine or adopting healthier habits. Coping with anxious thoughts and feelings is often so much more than finding one solution; it can take multiple strategies working together to ease symptoms. If you’re feeling anxious and looking for new ways to cope, check out these amazing Amazon products that can help you bring more calm to your life.

Get a Better Night’s Sleep

Getting good sleep plays a big role in maintaining a healthy frame of mind. If you’re struggling to get to sleep (or stay asleep) because of your anxiety or your anxiety is being made worse because you’re not sleeping well, any products or habits that help you relax at night could help improve the symptoms of your anxiety.

1. A Calming Supplement

Magnesium is believed to have calming effects, and taking a supplement may help you to feel more relaxed before climbing into bed at night. Specifically, magnesium helps muscles relax. Natural Calm is a magnesium supplement that is said to promote relaxation. It can be dissolved in a drink, and it works for vegan and gluten-free lifestyles.

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With nearly 8,000 reviews and a 4.5-star rating, fans say this is an anxiety-reducing, sleep-promoting supplement worth trying. Choose from six different flavors including orange, raspberry lemon, or cherry.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Magnesium-Stress-Original/dp/B000OQ2DL4″] Get it on Amazon for $23.97[/link-button]

2. A Before-Bed Soak

When you’re dealing with anxiety, self-care needs to be a priority every single day. Some days that may mean taking a walk, other days it might meaning relaxing in a tub with a good novel.

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Up the relaxation factor of your next before-bed bath by adding scented Epsom salts. Epsom salts have a high magnesium content, which can help with relax your muscles and ease aches and pains. This specific blend is lavender scented, which is believed to help promote calmness and relaxation.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Falls-Lavender-Scented-Compare/dp/B071K5SNGC”] Get them on Amazon for $2.73[/link-button]

3. An Anti-Inflammatory Bath Bomb

These Beauty by Earth bath bombs are made from all-natural ingredients like Dead Sea salt, Epsom salts, and kaolin clay. They’re non-toxic, so you don’t need to worry about what you’re soaking in, and they’re handmade in the U.S.

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This two-pack includes two different scents created to promote calmness and relaxation. Keep Calm is made with vanilla and anise essential oils and No Stress Vanhazelnutty is made with vanilla absolute and hazelnut essential oil.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Relaxing-Collection-Soothing-Inflammatory-Ingredients/dp/B01D252FIO”] Get them on Amazon for $16.14 [/link-button]

4. Glasses to Block Overstimulating Blue Lights

Science has confirmed that the blue light of smartphones and computer screens can be overstimulating and disrupt sleep, especially if used right before bed. When possible, try to power down early in the evening and pull out a book instead.

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When avoiding technology before bed isn’t possible, wear a pair of blue light–blocking glasses like this pair by Gamma Ray Optics. Created to minimize the visual strain that is caused by regular computer and smartphone use, it blocks blue lights that could be screwing with your sleep patterns and your mental health.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Protection-Computer-Readers-Glasses-Shatterproof/dp/B00BQ7KBV4″] Get them on Amazon for $12.99 [/link-button]

5. A Pillow With a Relaxing Effect

A vibrating pillow is said to have a relaxing effect, especially for those who feel that overstimulation is preventing them from sleeping well. The HealthMateForever pillow vibrates on two different speeds, allowing you to adjust it based on your own preferences.

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This pillow is 14 by 14 inches, filled with foam, and available in 10 different colors.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/HealthmateForever-Pulsating-Vibrating-Relaxation-Massaging/dp/B00SYWOKIE”] Get it on Amazon for $19.99 [/link-button]

6. A Relaxing Soundtrack

Binaural beats are believed to help you sleep because they send a new kind of sound frequency that helps your brain to relax.

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This soundtrack of binaural beats can work as a before-bed meditation or as white noise to block out any disturbances that might keep you from getting your best sleep. Each of the 12 tracks is 20 minutes long and has been created to achieve a specific result, like the release of melatonin or cortisol reduction.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Binaural-Isochronic-Sleeping-Meditation/dp/B006DEI5YA”] Get it on Amazon for $8.99 [/link-button]

7. A Comfortable Set of Headphones

A relaxing soundtrack doesn’t do you much good if your headphones aren’t comfortable for wearing during sleep.

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This set of headphones is made from soft fabric and designed specifically for meditation and wearing during sleep. Because the fabric wraps around the top of your head, it also doubles as a sleep mask for blocking out light.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/CozyPhones-Sleep-Headphones-Earphones-Meditation/dp/B01HYJEORE”] Get it on Amazon for $8.99 [/link-button]

8. A Soothing Light Show

Experiencing insomnia when you’re feeling anxiety isn’t uncommon. For the nights when you just can’t quiet your brain, this night light projector creates a soothing light show on your ceilings and walls.

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Your light show will mimic water, and you can attach your phone or MP3 player to play relaxing music through the speaker. The included LED light bulbs last for up to 50,000 hours!
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Gideon-DreamWave-Soothing-Projector-Speakers/dp/B00I9IRM92″] Get it on Amazon for $21.95 [/link-button]

Calmify Your Day

Centering routines can induce a feeling of calm, so bring more happiness to your day by trying a few of these products that are said to help anxious individuals relax.

9. A Coloring Book for a Relaxing Distraction

Coloring books for adults have been trending for a few years for anxiety and stress relief. Step away from technology, take your mind off your worries, and enjoy a few of these coloring pages created with the help of an art therapist.

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Designs include mandalas, geometric patterns, and nature themes. How relaxing!
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Color-Calm-Templates-Meditation-Relaxation/dp/1937994775″] Get it on Amazon for $10.91 [/link-button]

10. Calming Scents for Your Home or Office

No matter how you spend your days, you can create a relaxing atmosphere with stress-relieving scents. Diffusers take essential oils and evaporate them into the air of your home or office in safe amounts. This particular diffuser by VicTsing has over 7,000 reviews, 4.5 stars, and it’s hella cute, too.

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“It runs for over 10 hours with a full water reservoir and set to ‘on,’” says one reviewer. “I like the fact that you can turn off the light on it, and when on, it’s a nice subtle glow. It puts out a lot of mist even on the low setting. I have other diffusers that only run four to six hours, and needed one to run all night in our bedrooms when we are sick.”
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/VicTsing-Humidifier-Ultrasonic-Essential-Diffuser/dp/B018CLNEOM”] Get it on Amazon for $19.99 [/link-button]

11. The Right Essential Oil for Anxiety

Some essential oils have an energizing effect, which might not be what you’re looking for when you’re anxious AF. Look for 100 percent pure oil blends made for promoting calmness.

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This blend by Healing Solutions is on the Amazon’s Choice list and is formulated specifically for stress relief. Use in your diffuser or dilute and apply to your wrists for a calming scent that follows you throughout the day.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Stress-Relief-Blend-Therapeutic-Essential/dp/B00QXVNRGY”] Get it on Amazon for $7.99 [/link-button]

12. An Anxiety-Reducing Supplement

Although supplements typically won’t cure anxiety, some options can be used in combination with other strategies to reduce anxiety symptoms.

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Inflammation is often linked to anxiety in some way, and turmeric has been found to help reduce inflammation. This popular turmeric supplement is high potency and might help you to feel a bit calmer during the day. As with any supplements, consult with your doctor first and always follow dosage recommendations.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Curcuminoids-Absorption-Anti-Inflammatory-Natures-Nutrition/dp/B01NBA8DZF”] Get it on Amazon for $8.42 [/link-button]

13. Daily Gratitude Practice

Focusing on the good things in your life, even for a few minutes a day, can help you feel happier and more positive. This gratitude journal guides you through the process in five minutes a day.

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In addition to prompting you to verbalize your gratitude each day, it includes inspiring quotes, prompts for challenging yourself to grow, and a spot to journal through changes you’d like to make.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Five-Minute-Journal-Happier-Minutes/dp/0991846206″] Get it on Amazon for $22.95 [/link-button]

14. Your Own At-Home Yoga Studio

Making a trip to the yoga studio each day may feel like an insurmountable task when you’re drowning in anxiety.

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Make this centering practice simple by setting up your own at-home yoga studio. Available in blue, black, purple, and deep purple, this slip-resistant mat from TOPLUS is a great first step to making yoga a daily habit.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/TOPLUS-Friendly-Exercise-Strap-Workout-Exercises/dp/B0776QHK2W”] Get it on Amazon for $32.99 [/link-button]

15. Using Yoga to Balance Emotions

This book by Bo Forbes promises to teach readers the basics of using yoga to reduce anxiety and find emotional stability.

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It includes breathing exercises, step-by-step sequences that promote relaxation, and advice for understanding what patterns are developing that might be connected to your anxious feelings.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Emotional-Balance-Practices-Depression/dp/1590307607″] Get it on Amazon for $15.96 [/link-button]

16. Taking Care of Yourself With Basic Routines

It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of the day to day, especially if you’re struggling with anxiety.

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Make a point to stick with your basic self-care routines, like daily showers, even when you’re feeling overwhelmed. This body wash by Seaweed Bath Co. is a bestseller on Amazon, with soothing and hydrating ingredients your skin will love.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Seaweed-Bath-Co-Cream-Unscented/dp/B005XYLEFS”] Get it on Amazon for $10.88 [/link-button]

17. Calming Lotion

Follow up your shower with a lotion that will help you feel relaxed as you start your day. This lotion by JASON promises to promote calmness with hydrating ingredients and natural scents like lavender.

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Make it a ritual: Take deep breaths as you apply the lotion to your skin.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/JASON-Calming-Lavender-Lotion-Packaging/dp/B007S8D90U”] Get it on Amazon for $5.60 [/link-button]

How to Calm Down on the Go

It’s hard to stay centered when you’re keeping up with a busy work day or running kids to and from school. Keep a few support tools on hand to help you cope if your anxiety levels begin to rise when you’re on the go.

18. Use a portable aromatherapy diffuser.

If diffusing oils in the air at home helps you to feel relaxed, you’re going to love this portable option.

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Always follow manufacturer recommendations for diluting strong oils to be sure you are safely inhaling strong essential oils. Use a calming blend to breathe in a little stress relief throughout your busy day.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PRC2YM8″] Get it on Amazon for $20.00 [/link-button]

19. Take your mind off your worries with a stress-relieving game.

Sometimes you need a little distraction to pull your mind away from anxious thinking. This fidget cube is designed especially for when you’re stressed out.

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Each magnet is connected end to end but can be pulled away from each other at the sides, allowing you to create endless shapes and patterns out of the silver cubes.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/EDC-Fidgeter-Magnetic-Quality-Executive/dp/B073ZPRFWD”] Get it on Amazon for $8.46 [/link-button]

20. Stimulate your senses with this relaxing slime.

This fluffy slime it bizarrely relaxing. You can stretch it, roll it, pop it, and squeeze it—whatever helps you chill out when you’re feeling anxiety creeping into your day.

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It’s non-toxic and it isn’t messy, so you can keep it in the carrying case in your purse or bag and pull it out whenever you need a little distraction.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Fluffy-Slime-Satisfying-Stretchy-Non-Sticky/dp/B076FX8HT1″] Get it on Amazon for $7.99 [/link-button]

21. Practice meditation everywhere you go.

Meditation is a highly effective way to reduce anxiety. It works great as a practice you can observe at the same time each day, but it is most effective when you can weave it into your day when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

Amazon

These five-minute meditations make it simple to pause for a bit, practice some deep breathing, and find what centers you before you get back to the task at hand.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/5-Minute-Daily-Meditations-Instant-Clarity/dp/1641520736″] Get it on Amazon for $14.29 [/link-button]

22. Give yourself a relaxing scalp massage.

Relax and let go of tension with a calming scalp massage. This handheld scalp massager vibrates and has flexible bristles that gently rub your scalp.

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You can use the massager both in and out of the shower, so take it with you on the go or make it a part of your morning routine.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Vanity-Planet-Rejuvenating-Massager-Bombshell/dp/B01N2UD457″] Get it on Amazon for $19.99 [/link-button]

23. Bring calming scents along with you.

This mist from Asutra is made from patchouli and bergamot essential oils, and its creators promise that spraying it in the air and breathing it in will help you return to a calmer state of mind.

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All of the ingredients in this spray are organic and hypoallergenic, so you don’t have to worry about the spray irritating your skin.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/ASUTRA-Premium-Aromatherapy-INSTANT-STRESS/dp/B00ZKIIC2U”] Get it on Amazon for $14.20 [/link-button]

Practicing Radical Self-Care

When you’re dealing with chronic anxiety, you might have to take your self-care routine up a notch. Recovering from a high-stress season of life isn’t easy, and it takes time to get back to feeling like yourself. In addition to seeing a therapist or talking to your doctor about medication, these self-care products might help you feel more centered.

24. Write in a stress-relief journal.

The writing exercises in this journal are intended to help you eliminate your worries and anxieties. Authored by a psychotherapist, this journal is meant to help you become more familiar with the symptoms of your anxiety and then identify coping mechanisms that work well for you.

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It’s specifically written for individuals who regularly deal with unmanageable anxiety, helping them to create habits that will make their daily lives less stressful.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Journal-Exercises-Eliminate-Wherever/dp/1635652189″] Get it on Amazon for $16.46 [/link-button]

25. Use massage balls to apply pressure to tense muscles.

If your anxiety is causing you to hold in tension, take care of your muscles with these handheld massage rollers.

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Feel the tension leave your shoulders, back, and even your feet as you roll these around your trigger points.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Massage-Massager-Therapy-Shoulders-Stiffness/dp/B0792SD1TR”] Get it on Amazon for $12.99 [/link-button]

26. Use a pedometer to set exercise goals.

Staying active can help relieve anxiety. This pedometer is a wristband that keeps an eye on your vitals and reminds you when it’s time to get moving. It can help you set goals for getting exercise every day and make sure you’re staying on track.

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The LETSCOM Fitness Tracker monitors heart rate and sleep habits, steps taken each day, and minutes spent active. After a single charge using the built-in USB plug, the wristband will hold a charge for a full seven days.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/LETSCOM-Fitness-Activity-Waterproof-Pedometer/dp/B0779W3JZK”] Get it on Amazon for $29.98 [/link-button]

27. Get moving from the comfort of your home.

Exercise is without a doubt one the most effective ways to diminish the symptoms of your anxiety, but getting moving or taking a trip the gym isn’t always easy when you’re struggling with your mental health.

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This Jessica Smith exercise video uses low-impact exercises inspired by yoga, Pilates, dance, and weight training for a well-rounded routine. With the three 30-minute exercises, boosting your mood with movement doesn’t have to be an overwhelming or time-consuming part of your day.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Balance-Strength-Results-Exercise/dp/B01GKK1TPS”] Get it on Amazon for $14.98 [/link-button]

28. Take a break on this Swedish acupressure mat.

This pillow and mat set is covered with thousands of acupressure points meant to release endorphins by stimulating acupoints on the back, neck, and head. Acupressure is inspired by an ancient practice believed to have benefits like reducing body pain, relieving stress, improving sleep habits, and more.

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The creators of this mat suggest spending a few minutes relaxing on it when you need a boost of energy, to de-stress, or relief from aches and pains.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Sivan-Health-Fitness%C2%AEAcupressure-Treatment-Reliever/dp/B00U6G063E”] Get it on Amazon for $24.99 [/link-button]

29. Use this foot massager to boost endorphins.

This portable foot massager is a best seller on Amazon. Inspired by the ancient practice of reflexology, it is designed to stimulate pressure points in the feet by using rolling, wooden spikes.

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According to the creators of this massager, users can expect to experience relief from pain and stress.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00SMJIYNG”] Get it on Amazon for $13.99 [/link-button]

30. Let indoor plants purify your space.

Having plants in your home can make you feel better. Researchers have actually found that plants play an important role in purifying indoor air by absorbing toxins and releasing oxygen. They’re also believed to improve concentration and boost mood by relieving stress and promoting relaxation.

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The snake plant is one of those air-purifying plants, and this specific plant has amazing feedback on Amazon. It’s said to be incredibly hard to kill, and it needs very little water or sun to thrive.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Snake-Plant-Mother-Laws-Tongue/dp/B00BFB8L1S”] Get it on Amazon for $16.91 [/link-button]

31. Treat yourself to antioxidant-rich dark chocolate.

Whether you’re looking for the stress-relieving powers of antioxidant-rich dark chocolate or simply looking for a treat to help you unwind, this rich chocolate will be an amazing addition to your self-care toolbox.

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This Endangered Species bar is 88 percent dark chocolate and comes in a pack of six.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Endangered-Species-Chocolate-Extreme-3-ounces/dp/B004DIXOVM”] Get it on Amazon for $17.04 [/link-button]

32. Switch out your coffee for decaf tea.

Drinking caffeine can exacerbate your anxiety symptoms, making you feel even more nervous or jittery with each cup. Change up your morning routine and swap your coffee for a relaxing decaf tea.

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This Tea Company blend is made from chamomile, rose petals, and lavender. Chamomile is an herb that has long been used for its relaxing effect, and this tea is specifically created to help drinkers unwind.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Chamomile-Lavender-Tea-Stress-Company/dp/B01KEHM1U0″] Get it on Amazon for $17.10 [/link-button]

33. Chill out with relaxing music.

Amazon reviewers are using this 65-track classical music compilation to get their mind right. One reviewer uses it to improve focus while they code, another listens to soothe migraines, and another listens while trying to fall asleep

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Amazon

Tracks include “Canon in D,” “Greensleeves,” “Moonlight Sonata,” and “New Moon.” The best part about this relaxing collection of classical music is that it’s completely free if you have an Amazon Prime subscription, but it’s still inexpensive even if you don’t.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Relax-Relaxing-Calming-Classical-Healing/dp/B003Z15BBO”] Get it on Amazon for $5.99 [/link-button]

34. Read this calming poetry as a mindfulness exercise.

Researchers at UC San Diego Health are using poetry as part of mindfulness-based stress reduction.

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The beautiful writing of Mary Oliver has been included in their work—for good reason. Her Dream Work is full of poems about nature, facing the challenges in your life, and taking an honest look at the world around you.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Work-Mary-Oliver/dp/0871130696″] Get it on Amazon for $12.80 [/link-button]

35. This candle gives off the most relaxing scents.

Made with spearmint and eucalyptus essential oils, this three-wick candle promises up to 45 hours of burning (and relaxation). Light before bed or any time you feel like you might need to take a few deep breaths.

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“I go into immediate Zen mode as soon as I light this thing,” says one reviewer about the Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Stress Relief Candle. “It doesn’t take long after lighting for the scent to fill the room.”
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Bath-Body-Works-Aromatherapy-Eucalyptus/dp/B005O91CUE”] Get it on Amazon for $19.97 [/link-button]

Educate Yourself

There is so much information out there pertaining to managing chronic stress and anxiety. These books are focused on anxiety education and can help you take a proactive approach to your anxious thoughts and feelings.

36. The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook

This interactive book is written for individuals with phobias, panic attacks, or anxiety symptoms that prevent them from living their life as they wish. Written by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD, this workbook has sold over a million copies.

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Readers can expect to learn breathing techniques to use for relaxation, to find education on how exercise and nutrition can be used to manage anxiety, and to discover how to deal with negative self-talk. Individuals with phobias can use the techniques in this book to desensitize themselves to their specific fears.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157″] Get it on Amazon for $19.28 [/link-button]

37. Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

If anxiety and panic attacks make your life hard to manage, this book could provide insights that change the way you see the world. Bestselling author Barry McDonagh uses a lesser known method for managing anxiety symptoms.

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Readers of this book can expect to find step-by-step instructions meant to help bring an end to panic attacks, increase confidence, and decrease intrusive thoughts. Information on using supplements to relieve anxiety and access to a free app are also included in this book.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258″] Get it on Amazon for $16.16 [/link-button]

38. A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook for Anxiety

Mindfulness has long been used to reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression, and this book aims to explain how to implement the practice effectively. Written by three different experts on mindfulness-based stress reduction, this book is full of advice on making mindfulness work for you.

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Readers can expect to learn about techniques for identifying the patterns behind anxious or intrusive thoughts and how to move past these lines of thinking to a healthier mindset.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Based-Stress-Reduction-Workbook-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B00MQCLJHS”] Get it on Amazon for $9.99 [/link-button]

39. Emotional Intelligence 2.0

As a national bestseller with over 1,200 reviews on Amazon and a four-star rating, this book is a great addition to the library of anyone who wants to achieve more emotional balance. Written by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, this book is focused on teaching self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management skills that contribute to great emotional health.

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Based on extensive research on emotional intelligence, this book includes valuable information and guidance whether you regularly struggle with anxiety or not.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-2-0-Travis-Bradberry/dp/0974320625″] Get it on Amazon for $13.74 [/link-button]

40. The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques

If you’re looking for concrete action steps to take to relieve your anxiety, this book might be the right fit for you. The author has compiled information on the 10 best research-backed techniques for managing stress and anxiety.

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Readers can expect information on the biology of anxiety, guidance for using breathing techniques to manage stress, and ideas for planning ahead for anxious thoughts and feelings.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Best-Ever-Anxiety-Management-Techniques-Understanding/dp/0393712141″] Get it on Amazon for $15.80 [/link-button]

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Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

How To Unpack And Interpret Mixed Signals

You hear it time and time again: Communication is key to a successful relationship. But how can you ever get to that point if the person you’re seeing keeps sending you mixed signals?
They tell you they need space, then text you all day long. They don’t want you to date other people, but they don’t want to be exclusive. They seem really into you, yet don’t prioritize time together. What gives?
Mixed signals might as well be ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics when it comes to the energy it takes to decipher them. But once you get to the root of where the miscommunication is coming from, you can begin interpreting what mixed signals really mean for your relationship—and communicate in a way that makes you both feel heard and understood.
To help you unpack mixed signals in your love life, HealthyWay sat down with Shirani Pathak, LCSW, a relationship counselor, holistic psychotherapist, and founder of the Center for Soulful Relationships. Here, she shares how conflicting attachment styles might be to blame for crossed wires, why miscommunication might not always be a red flag, and examples of mixed signals you’re most likely to encounter when you date. Plus, she offers some effective communication strategies that can help you both say what you really mean—no shame or blame necessary.

What are mixed signals?

You’ve heard your girlfriends groan that they’re getting mixed signals from guys and girls they’re dating—and now you suspect you’re experiencing them yourself. What are mixed signals?
“Mixed signals are when someone’s being inconsistent in the messages they’re giving people,” Pathak explains.
Mixed signals can simply be miscommunication—your partner tries to express one set of feelings, and it comes out wrong. They can also be intentional, like the dude who’s keeping you on the back burner while he waits to see if someone “better” comes along. But no matter the reason for the mixed signals, they definitely add a new layer of stress and frustration to dating.
“Mixed signals make us feel crazy. We wonder if we’re reading the relationship properly, whether or not this person even has interest in us. It can make you feel like you have no idea what’s going on in a situation and can trigger insecurity in people when mixed messages are coming through,” she says.
[pullquote align=’center’]“Mixed signals are when someone’s being inconsistent in the messages they’re giving people.”
—Shirani Pathak, LCSW[/pullquote]
Sending and receiving mixed signals can occur at any point in a relationship, whether you’ve known the person for 10 days or 10 years. That being said, messy communication like this tends to be more prevalent early in relationships. That’s when we’re still getting to know each other and are often too vulnerable to be who we really are.
“It usually happens early on. Online dating has absolutely made mixed signals even more common because there are just so many more options [of people to date] out there. People are constantly on the search for someone better,” says Pathak.
No matter when or where mixed signals happen, they can be equal parts confusing and frustrating—especially if you really like the person. But your partner’s behavior is in no way a reflection of who you are. At your wit’s end with mixed signals? Don’t blame yourself.

The Psychology Behind Mixed Signals

Most people don’t get into a relationship in an attempt to mislead their partner. And yet, poor communication between two people who like each other means they don’t always convey what they really mean. Why do people send mixed signals, despite intending to be open and honest?
One of the biggest problems is that most of us haven’t quite learned how to say how we truly feel. It gets tied up in blame, doubts, and insecurities that then turn into mixed signals. We build walls in our relationships when we don’t express our true feelings.
“We haven’t been taught how to communicate clearly, with love and kindness, about what we really want and need. It’s a skill set that needs to be cultivated,” says Pathak.
On-screen communication catalyzes mixed signals as well. Without hearing a person’s voice or seeing their body language, it’s all too easy to misinterpret an otherwise neutral text message (like “I’m not sure what my plans are”) as something else entirely. He might be trying to let you down easy if he wants to decline a date…or he could simply be letting you know that his schedule really is up in the air and he doesn’t want to commit to something he might have to cancel down the road. It’s hard to decipher without those other clues.
And in a world where instant communication is the norm, a delayed response to a text can be the loudest mixed signal of all. We interpret the radio silence as the person being uninterested, and it tends to spiral as we ruminate on what that potential lack of interest says about us. Was it something I said? Maybe he’s not into me anymore. Is she seeing someone else? Why doesn’t she like me? Or…maybe the person got distracted and forgot to text back. It happens!

Mixed Signals and Attachment Styles

All of these types of mixed signals really go back to something much deeper: our attachment style. We all have one.
About half of us have a secure attachment style, meaning we strive for intimacy and comfort in relationships, while the other half is divided into two groups: the avoidant attachment style and the insecure attachment style.
Those with the avoidant attachment style can get totally freaked out by close relationships and push partners away, while people who have the anxious attachment style crave closeness and tend to come off as a little clingy or overbearing. Those who fall into the avoidant or anxious attachment style categories tend to be the ones sending and receiving mixed signals.
[pullquote align=’center’]Most of us haven’t quite learned how to say how we truly feel. It gets tied up in blame, doubts, and insecurities that then turn into mixed signals.[/pullquote]
“People who have the anxious attachment style are really good at picking up when someone’s starting to distance themselves or when someone’s being inconsistent,” Pathak explains. “That oversensitivity can be a gift when cultivated, but it often comes out sideways [as] mixed signals.”
“As for the avoidant type, they’re the ones constantly looking for someone better out of fear of true intimacy,” Pathak says. “Their mixed signals can lead you to feel like you’re not good enough and wear on your self-esteem.”
There’s no good excuse for sending a mixed signal. But understanding where it’s coming from can help you interpret it, find the right response, and figure out the healthiest way to move forward.

Common Mixed Signals (and How to Interpret Them)

Communication is rarely perfectly clear in a new relationship—you’re haven’t quite learned the inner workings of the other person’s personality. But how do you deal with mixed signals when they come up? Here are some common examples of mixed signals, along with what they might mean.

1. Going Hot and Cold

Everything’s perfect when you go out together: You’re laughing, having deep conversations, and generally enjoying each other’s company. But the next day, they’re completely distant. You try to invite them out again, but all you get is wishy-washy responses—talk about mixed signals! Why can’t they just decide if they like you, once and for all?
What it means: They might be intentionally keeping their options open, or their avoidant attachment style is causing them to pull away. Either way, there’s clearly a barrier to bonding with this person. It’s caused by an inability for them to say what they might really mean, like “I’m still figuring out if this is going to be a fit, and we should keep our options open.”

2. Not Trying to Impress You Anymore

When you first started dating, she dolled herself up for every date, right down to the high heels. You loved seeing her across the table from you, looking her very best. But now that the relationship is settled into a rhythm, it seems like she’s stopped putting in effort. She has swapped her heels for sneakers, her dresses for jeans and a nice top. Instead of asking you out to dinner, she assumes Netflix and takeout for the fifth weekend in a row sounds good. Her casual appearance and too-chill attitude might feel like a mixed signal itself—what happened to the woman I was dating?
What it means: She probably didn’t show up as her most authentic self when you first started dating. She thought she needed to be glammed up to get you to like her.
“We think we have to give off a certain persona in order to be attractive to people,” says Pathak.
Now that she feels comfortable with you and confident you like her, she feels like she can finally be who she really is—and that might be a jeans-and-tee, on-the-couch-homebody kind of girl.
It’s naturally confusing to watch someone’s style do a 180, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she has stopped caring about impressing you and putting effort into the relationship.

3. Mismatched Sex Drives

Your partner told you he loves getting it on all that time. And you’re super into that. But it just doesn’t seem to be happening all that frequently in reality. It feels like a rejection—but is it?
What it means: “Lots of people get upset when their partner’s not as kinky as they thought they were,” says Pathak.
Confusion in the bedroom can be interpreted all sorts of ways. He might feel like you are having sex a lot, and you’ve just got different interpretations of what “a lot” means. He might be stressed out about stuff that has nothing to do with you. Or you both might need to express what does and doesn’t turn you on and make a few tweaks next time you get intimate.

Avoiding Mixed Signals

Mixed signals are just one symptom of a larger issue: an inability to communicate effectively.
This is an issue for both sides of the relationship—the sender of the mixed signals and the receiver. Learning to communicate in a kind, loving, authentic, and direct way can help you get to the bottom of just about any mixed signal. Here are some relationship therapist–approved communication tips for decoding mixed signals:

Show up as your true self.

The best way to avoid misinterpretations is to exude authenticity. Don’t change who you are just to impress a person you’re going out with. Instead, be genuine in how you look and behave starting from day one of any relationship.
“When you give off mixed messages about who you are, you’re going to receive mixed messages. Showing up as the best version of you, and not who someone else wants you to be, will help cut down on mixed messages,” says Pathak.

Approach mixed signals with open curiosity.

It’s really easy to fall into the trap of blaming ourselves when we feel rejected by someone or confused about a relationship. Shift that self-blame into genuine curiosity for your partner as you try to figure out what’s really going on.

Start the dialogue with “I” statements.

The only thing you can ever be sure of in a relationship is how you feel. Using statements that start with “I,” rather than “you,” focuses the dialogue on something that’s true for you, hopefully without putting your partner in defense mode.
[pullquote align=”center”]Mixed signals are just one symptom of a larger issue: an inability to communicate effectively.[/pullquote]
“Pause and check in with yourself and what you’re noticing. It’s okay to say ‘I’m feeling insecure and I’m feeling like I’m getting mixed messages from you.’ Taking ownership of your own feelings can help you more clearly communicate with someone in a relationship,” says Pathak.

Avoid shame and blame.

Conversations about mixed messages can be tense, but shaming and blaming your partner is the fastest way to get them to shut down completely. Aim to stay neutral in your language in as self-assured a way as possible.

Know when it’s time to move on.

If you can’t find common ground in your communication, it might be time to move on. And that’s okay—it has nothing to do with your worth as a partner. It just means the relationship wasn’t the right one for you.
“No matter what happens in a relationship, always remember you are lovable and valuable,” says Pathak. “You are worthy of affection, regardless of a pattern in giving and receiving mixed messages.”

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Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

What Emotional Labor Really Does To Us At Work And At Home

When the phrase “emotional labor” was born, it was a way for sociologist Arlie Hochschild to explain the work of regulating your emotions in the workplace.
Ever had to give yourself a pep talk before walking out to deal with angry customers? That’s emotional labor. Ever had to pump yourself up so you could face a classroom full of rambunctious kids who you have to teach? Yup, emotional labor.
If you’re thinking, hey, wait, I’ve been hearing a lot about emotional labor these days, and it had nothing to do with the workplace, well, you’re right. Since Hochschild first coined the phrase in 1983 in her book The Managed Heart, it’s been adopted by countless people to describe situations in which the effort of managing emotions is heaped on a particular person—typically a female-identifying person.
So what is emotional labor? Is it managing your emotions in the workplace, or is it what happens in your house when your partner expects you to always be the one who “fixes” squabbles and makes things right?
Here’s what the experts say about emotional labor and how to manage it.

What is emotional labor?

If you go by Hochschild’s definition, emotional labor refers to regulating or managing emotional expressions with others as part of one’s professional work role.  
For example, Christie Heltzell used to work in a marketing role, where high-paying clients paid for access to her in order to help them utilize marketing software and plan advanced marketing tactics.
“I had one client who was the business owner’s daughter, and she was a spoiled and entitled snob,” Heltzell says. “While trying to help make her ridiculous requests happen despite my repeated explanations that what she was asking for was impossible, she repeatedly put me on hold, once to even answer a call where I heard, ‘Yes, daddy, I’ll be down shortly. This stupid girl is cutting into my lunch break, but I’ll make her finish her job soon.’ When she came back on, she told me, ‘Look, I have a meeting to get to that is really important. Can you do your job or not?’”
Heltzell had to hold her tongue, working to keep her emotions in check in order to do her job.
“As I started to explain again why what she’d asked was literally impossible, she sighed and said, ‘Can’t you just DO it? We pay you to say yes,’” Heltzell says. “I ended up punching my desk, something I’d never done before, while simultaneously trying to keep my voice incredibly sweet and explain for the fiftieth time why what she was asking for wasn’t even a real thing.”
The need to physically hold one’s emotions in check might sound familiar to countless people, but it’s rarely recognized as a physical part of the job.
“Emotional labor [or EL] is parallel to physical labor; both are occupations that tend to require a lot of effort, but EL is effort around emotions and tends to be female-dominated, i.e., service or caring work, and physical labor is effort with the body and tends to be male-dominated,” explains Alicia A. Grandey, PhD, a professor of industrial-organizational psychology and director of graduate studies in psychology at Penn State University.
Grandey, who once worked as a barista at a coffee bar, knows the toll emotional labor can take on someone all too well.
“To perform emotional labor, employees may use deep acting to modify their inner emotions, like ‘pump themselves up’ before going out on the work floor—for example, a teacher may do this on the first day—or doing pep talks—for example, flight attendants reminding themselves that passengers are their guests on this flight,” Grandey says.
That work, although not visible or necessarily quantifiable to the employers who depend on metrics to evaluate just how well their employees are performing, is nonetheless valuable to employers and significant on the part of the employees themselves. You know how you feel when you walk out of work, right? You know that ebb and flow you felt throughout the day?
As Grandey has posited in her studies, “This physiological activity, or ‘bottling up’ of emotions, taxes the body over time by overworking the cardiovascular and nervous systems and weakening the immune system.”
An estimated 40 percent of Americans admit they’ve taken a personal day simply for emotional recovery. Sometimes we need to get an emotional break from our emotions.
“The sheer entitlement and attitude people give you when you work customer service is more exhausting than anything else I’ve ever done,” Heltzell tells HealthyWay. She says people take every break to “vent and blow off steam about the person they just spoke to.”
It’s something employers are (slowly) starting to ascertain. In one Yale study of employee engagement, researchers found that one out of five employees reported both high engagement and high burnout. And according to the American Psychological Association’s 2013 Work and Well-Being Survey, 37 percent of women said they typically feel tense or stressed at work (5 percent more than men in the survey), and just 34 percent of women say they have enough resources to handle stress at work.
“Emotional labor, like physical labor, is effortful and fatiguing when done repeatedly all day long and can be costly in terms of performance errors and job burnout,” Grandey says, “especially when surface acting because it results in feeling inauthentic.”

So what is emotional labor outside of the workplace?

But what about the emotional labor that isn’t labor in the traditional sense? It’s true that Hochschild coined the term to refer to labor in the traditional sense, e.g. what you do in the office or on a factory floor. But more often of late, “emotional labor” has been used in reference to the type of emotions you put forth in your day-to-day, even after you’re punching a time clock.
Gemma Hartley scored a viral hit with a Harper’s Bazaar article dubbed “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up,” and she’s author of the forthcoming book Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward.
To Hartley, emotional labor isn’t just the sort of work for which folks might be paid—even when the work itself is ignored—it’s also work put forth on the emotional front in the home.
“I define emotional labor a bit more broadly than the original sociological definition,” Hartley says. “When I am talking about emotional labor, I am talking about the largely invisible mental and emotional work, mostly done by women, which helps keep those around them comfortable and happy.”
Not sure what she means?
Take, for example, this slice of life from Hartley’s viral essay. After asking her husband to hire a house cleaner as a Mother’s Day gift, Hartley was faced with a holiday spent wrangling her children as her husband—who’d opted to do the job himself—hoisted a toilet brush:

I was gifted a necklace for Mother’s Day while my husband stole away to deep clean the bathrooms, leaving me to care for our children as the rest of the house fell into total disarray.

Her “gift” was forcing her to be “on” while her kids screamed for mommy, mommy, mommy.
Although it’s not quite what Hochschild had in mind when she coined the term, this feeling has its own place, says Tina Tessina, PhD, a couples therapist and author of How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together.
When working with couples, Tessina terms it “self-management,” in other words the ability to manage whatever emotional reactions or basic emotions one has in order to succeed better in relationships, social, or work settings.  
“We all have a variety of emotional responses to the stimuli around us, as well as emotional responses to our own attitudes, beliefs, expectations, and prejudices,” Tessina says.  “Learning to become aware of our own feelings, and process or regulate them on an ongoing basis, is a primary life skill. Those who have the skill to understand and manage their own feelings generally do better in all kinds of relationships, and create less unnecessary stress in their lives.”
Just as employers need to become more mindful of the emotional tasks they demand of their employees, Tessina says it’s important for partners to be cognizant of the emotional burdens they lay on each other.
Emotional labor in relationships comes down to “work necessary to manage and enjoy intimacy with your partner in a long-term relationship,” Tessina says.
Some of that is natural. We all have to grin and bear it sometimes for the sake of compromise, but when you find yourself always fighting your emotions to put on a happy face, your emotional labor may be a bit above and beyond.
For example, if you wake up in a bad mood or are feeling “down,” it might be work or emotional labor to raise your spirits before encountering your partner. If you’ve just had a bad day at work where you didn’t get a promotion, it would be considered self-management to train yourself to grin instead of launching into what a bad day you had.
Just like the workplace, where we can lose our jobs if we lose our cool, emotional labor can have a substantial effect. Not only are there ramifications for our health, but unresolved and unexpressed grief over unrecognized labor can cause marriages to fail, Tessina warns.
[pullquote align=”center”]“You control your reactions, they don’t control you.”
—Tina Tessina, PhD, couples therapist and author[/pullquote]
“Intimacy is usually easy in the beginning of a relationship, when euphoria sweeps you into emotional synchronicity,” she explains. “As the relationship matures, and the euphoria subsides into companionship, generating intimacy and sexual desire becomes harder. Learning to do the necessary work to keep your intimate connection going can make the difference between a successful relationship and a divorce.”

How to Get Out From Under the Weight of Emotional Labor

Whether you’re at work or at home, a certain amount of emotional labor is just going to be part of life—if only because we don’t need to wear our hearts on our sleeves at every moment.
But that doesn’t mean you need to acquiesce to a life of making nice with nasty customers or grinning at your partner while inside you’re breaking down.
When possible, Grandey says “deep acting” is a less harmful way of performing emotional labor. Although she admits it’s not always possible, this essentially means pretending to be an actor at your job. Instead of showing your true emotions, you work to align your internal feelings with organizational expectations. This, along with modifying one’s own stress via mindfulness training and the like, seems to help, she says.
What’s more, Grandey recommends availing yourself to a back room for recovery breaks and being “real” with co-workers as much as possible as it “helps reduce the strain of surface acting with customers/patients.”
For employers, she stresses allowing for autonomy and supporting employees as much as possible to reduce the strain of emotional labor.
The best advice she can give a manager, she says, is to give employees the freedom to decide how they should respond to situations with customers or clients.
And let’s face it: Incentives, especially financial incentives, can’t hurt, and Grandey’s research backs up the the benefit of incentivised rewards in helping balance the negative effects of emotional labor at work.
Of course, there’s no amount of money that can make up for emotional labor at home. That’s where learning to take charge of your own emotions can be helpful.
“You control your reactions, they don’t control you,” Tessina says. “When you’re too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem. When you’re faced with an emotional situation, self-control is not easy. In the face of your partner’s actions, it’s difficult not to react.”
The key is learning to stop and think, to respond thoughtfully and carefully rather than quickly and automatically. It takes practice.
Tessina offers up these tips to take back your control and spend less time working on your emotions at home:

Use self talk wisely.

“Self-talk is one of the most powerful tools you can use to learn emotional self-control,” Tessina says. “Everyone has a running mental dialog, which often is negative or self-defeating.” Try repeating a mantra, an affirmation, or a choice over and over to create new pathways, which will eventually become automatic. “The new thoughts will run through your head like the old thoughts did, or like a popular song you’ve heard over and over,” Tessina says. “Only this song won’t be about your lost love, it will be about supporting yourself.”

Practice patience.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but step back. Think. Is that emotional labor you’re putting in really necessary?
To be more patient, consider not only waiting to react but also making better use of your perspective. Do you really need to put on that fake smile? How about a little self-understanding? Why are you doing it? You may think it’s because your partner expects it or even that it makes you feel better, when in reality it only makes you feel worse in the long run.
Your emotional labor may not be seen by others, but it’s important that you acknowledge the place it has in your life and understand the effect it has on your well-being.

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Favorite Finds Wellbeing

10 Dentist-Approved Finds For Your Pearly Whites

Shave my legs. Take a hot shower. Put on lipstick. Wear a really great swimsuit (one-piece please 😬). Curl my hair. Wear heels.
These are just a few of the things that make the HealthyWay gang feel sexy—no bump and grind required.
One of my favorites that I can do essentially anywhere? (Although in a piping hot shower is my fave.) Brushing my teeth. Yes: Scrubbing my pearly whites, gargling with just the right mouthwash, spitting with abandon, and running my tongue between my just-brushed-teeth and upper lip will have me saying Ahh every time. It’s an instant ego boost, whether it’ll be followed by the commute to work or a makeout sesh.
Oral care is a matter of personal pride for me. I’ve never had a cavity, and come on—doesn’t the thought of a minty-fresh kiss put a little pep in your step?
Taking good care of your teeth, tongue, and beyond isn’t what we typically think of when we clear our calendars for #selfcare, but I love shopping for oral care products and putting them to good use, especially when they’re eco-friendly or come from companies that are doing their part to make the world (and my mouth) a better place.

But First: Don’t genetics determine who’s enjoying the cavity-free life?

According to Oksana Boyechko, DMD, of Shingle Springs Dental, “Genetics can certainly play a role in determining a person’s likelihood to develop any number of health issues. But when it comes to oral health, as much as we’d like to believe it’s out of our control, genetics isn’t as significant to our oral health as the way we treat our gums and teeth over a lifespan.”
She goes on to say, “Daily habits like brushing and flossing, and the foods and beverages we choose to eat, have the highest probability of determining whether we develop tooth decay or periodontal disease.”
Here’s what Boyechko and another ladyboss dentist, Samantha Rawdin, DMD, a prosthodontist with Gallery57 Dental in NYC, think of my favorite finds (plus the alternatives Rawdin recommends for the picks that aren’t exactly what the doctor would order).

1. A Toothbrush Made From…Yogurt Cups

I discovered Preserve’s “Made with LOVE and recycled yogurt cups” toothbrushes during a leisurely Trader Joe’s stroll and am completely smitten with them. Of course I appreciate that they make use of waste, but beyond that, the streamlined design is aesthetically appealing (I’m not a fan of bionic-looking toothbrushes with seemingly unnecessary bells and whistles), and Preserve is a B Corp that makes its products in the U.S.
The brush features a curved handle for “those hard-to-reach places,” and based on my experience, it really works. That said, I’ve always been a medium bristle kinda gal. So what are the dentists’ thoughts on this pick?
Rawdin says, “Honestly, any toothbrush that will remove plaque is good in my book. I tend to steer away from recommending anything other than soft toothbrushes for my patients as I find that harder toothbrushes tend to cause more gum recession.” This is the official stance of the American Dental Association, too, but Rawdin says if gum recession hasn’t been an issue for me, I can stick with what works. The good news for everyone? Preserve makes soft and ultra soft toothbrushes, too.
“I also love that Preserve uses recycled plastic—good for your teeth AND the environment!” says Rawdin.
Already a fan of another type of toothbrush? Boyechko recommends switching it up:

When patients are trying to decide between different toothbrushes, like a manual one versus an electric brush or a variety of brush shapes, I like to say you don’t have to pick just one brush. You can vary it up every day, like using a manual brush in the morning and an electric one at night, and even change the brush head every other week if you’d like. That way you’ll ensure you’re getting all the advantages from the different toothbrushes, rather than feel like you’re limiting yourself to just one style.

If you haven’t tried a Preserve brush yet, go for it! They’re very reasonably priced (we’re talking under $3) and you’ll feel good about your purchase—just be sure to reach for one that’s soft or ultra soft so the experience is nice for your gums, too.
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2. Toothpaste With a Dash of Blue Green Algae

My sister, Emersyn D., a healthcare design strategist who’s en route to becoming a physician assistant (and is five years a vegan) turned me onto JĀSÖN products a number of years ago. JĀSÖN’s code of honor promises wholesome, effective products that are free from parabens, phthalates, harsh sulfates, and artificial colors and are never tested on animals.
[related article_ids=1005850]
JĀSÖN’s parent company, Hain Celestial, has also paired with CARE to help fund an afterschool program for girls in rural Guatemala, meaning purchasing toothpaste from their lineup contributes to something even bigger than self-care.
So—which of their flavors is my favorite? I’ve been jamming on Sea Fresh Anti-Cavity & Strengthening Gel in Deep Sea Spearmint, which contains blue green algae, aloe vera gel, spearmint and parsley extracts, and (ding, ding, ding! we have a winner!) fluoride.
Rawdin’s take?

This is not a toothpaste I have tried myself, but I am a fan of JĀSÖN products and the fact that it contains fluoride is really all I need to know! Your toothpaste absolutely should contain fluoride. I know this can be a controversial topic, but fluoride is the number one reason the cavity rate has decreased in the U.S. There are no scientific studies to support that fluoride has any adverse effects when used appropriately, but there IS overwhelming evidence as to its benefit. The addition of CoQ10, algae, and aloe have no proven benefit, but certainly won’t hurt the teeth.

JĀSÖN does offer an impressive array of fluoride-free toothpastes, but don’t miss out on all that tooth-strengthening goodness when you can choose from three fluoridated options: Tea Tree Oil & Cinnamon, Powerful Peppermint, and of course my fave, Deep Sea Spearmint.

3. Mouthwash Formulated With Spearmint Oil and Grapefruit Seed Extract

Do you derive inexplicable pleasure from purchasing matching products? Me too, which is why my mouthwash-of-the-moment is also from JĀSÖN.
Sea Fresh Strengthening Sea Spearmint Mouthwash—which includes grapefruit seed and perilla seed extracts—tastes refreshingly mojito-like. Plus, the tube of toothpaste and matching mouthwash bottle look so cute together!
I’ve used JĀSÖN’s Total Protection Sea Salt Mouth Rinse in Cool Mint in the past, but it was a bit too salty for my liking. The Sea Spearmint variety is the perfect alternative: minty enough to remind us of the Listerine that Mom and Dad might’ve used during our childhoods, but decidedly more wholesome feeling, given the citrus notes and alcohol-free formulation.
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4. Something Bubbly

I used to have an epic soda habit (we’re talking a pack a day at its worst), but thanks to the advent of naturally flavored sparkling waters being sold in cans everywhere, I’ve been able to leave my soda chugging days behind me.
My current faves are LaCroix apricot (the moscato of sparkling waters) and Original New York Seltzer watermelon (sweet summertime, summertime in a can). A bottle of S.Pellegrino with dinner never hurt anyone either. But are sparkling water options really that much better than soda for our teeth?
Rawdin shares some interesting information:

These are fine, but ideally should be drunk only at meal times. The reason being the sodium bicarbonate that makes the bubbles in the drinks actually makes these beverages acidic. So, if you’re sipping on them all day long, you’re constantly exposing your teeth to acid, which can slowly erode the enamel—the hard, white outer layer of your teeth—over time.

Sweetener free: good. Nursing my non-alcoholic bubbly from after-my-coffee o’clock to EOD: something to reconsider.

5. More on Bubbles

Or, gum, that is. While I grew up on sticks of Fruit Stripe and mouthfuls of grape Bubble Yum, 2018 finds me devoted to peppermint Ice Breakers Ice Cubes. (Though the summer snow cone glitter gum—yes you read that right—limited edition is worth a Target run, too.)
Is this the best gum, though, or would my teeth appreciate a different pick?
“If you’re going to chew gum, make sure it’s sugar-free, like this one,” says Rawdin. “Ice Breakers actually contains xylitol, as do many of the others sugar-free gums on the market. Xylitol is a sugar alcohol sweetener which actually helps to prevent cavities.”
Rawdin says she tries to steer clear of gum that contains aspartame as a sweetener. “Anything with the ADA seal of approval—gum, toothbrushes, toothpaste, et cetera—is always a safe bet.”
Touchdown 🙌

6. A Trusty Water Bottle

The U.S. cavity rate hasn’t decreased because of fluoridated oral care products alone. In many areas, tap water is fluoridated too, which means a trusty reusable water bottle will allow you to treat yourself to refreshing sips that are good for your teeth while minimizing the waste associated with single-use water bottles.
Rawdin says the amount of fluoride in tap water is “low enough to not affect you systemically, even if you’re drinking a lot of water during the day, but just a few parts per million of fluoride in the water is enough to help protect your teeth.”
“Plus,” she says, “drinking water helps to keep your mouth hydrated. A dry mouth is a breeding ground for bacteria and can cause cavities to arise much more quickly.”
My on-the-go go-to is my Contigo Autoseal West Loop Stainless Steel Travel Mug in Polar White (of course). I’ve clicked the lock into place and tossed this trusty mug in my purses and backpacks many times over the past year and never experienced a leak. Note that the vacuum seal mechanism in the lid can be unlatched and dishwashed, while the mug itself has to be washed by hand.
To find out if the water in your area is fluoridated, check out this handy map from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And if your water isn’t fluoridated, Rawdin says you should be sure your toothpaste and mouthwash are.
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7. Time to Strip

Not that kind of stripping! Unless you want to, in which case, go for it knowing you can do pretty much whatever after applying Crest Whitestrips: another one of my favorite finds.
I love to get my sparkle on when I have a special event or vacay coming up. Of this pick, Rawdin says:

These are very effective and safe. The biggest risk to using these or any whitening product is residual sensitivity. Typically the sensitivity is short lived and any over-the-counter pain killer will help. There are also whitening methods that your dentist can provide for you which tend to work a bit more quickly, such as an in office whitening session or custom whitening trays. The best option will depend on your budget and what fits best with your lifestyle.

8. A Handy Floss Alternative

Don’t forget to floss!—the battle cry of many a dentist, I’m sure. My dirty little secret? As much as I love brushing my teeth, I’ve always hated flossing. It feels eternally clumsy, and I’ve never developed a regular flossing routine.
That said, I am a huge fan of Plackers—even more so now that I know they’re recyclable (though, as a Plackers team member says, “We would suggest asking your local municipality regarding how to properly prepare flosser picks to make them acceptable for pick up as the bags and the flossers are composed of different materials”).
While some dentists are adamant that flossing is far superior to using Plackers, Rawdin says,

These are great, especially for patients who don’t like using string/ribbon floss! One is not better than the other, but you do need to work a little harder with the Plackers to achieve the same benefit as regular floss. The goal is to get the floss on either side of the little triangle of tissue between the teeth and to hug the floss against the tooth to clean out the small space between the tooth and the gum.

So, instead of Placker shaming, let’s embrace using them the right way so we can take advantage of an affordable and recyclable option that’s here to make oral care a little easier.

9. A Brand New Retainer

My sis and I both endured the American rite of passage that is having braces. I wore my clear retainer faithfully until it cracked a few years ago (admittedly it was looking worse for the wear way before that). I decided to get a Hawley retainer—one of the metal and acrylic ones (blue sparkles FTW) that will last for ages but potentially cost you more than $500 even if you have dental insurance, since orthodontic care typically isn’t covered for members over 18.
Emersyn says she settled on new clear retainers after exploring a number of options. “My teeth have shifted over the years due to not wearing the retainers faithfully and ultimately losing them. A few front teeth are more crooked than I would like, and I later learned that my midline and bite had also shifted. I had seen ads for Smile Direct Club and looked into their plans, but I was wary of doing something orthodontic via mailer boxes, plus I was going to have to get a small permanent retainer behind my front two teeth removed to do it.”
“I then went to an orthodontist and she said I would be a good candidate for Invisalign. I had a consultation and received pricing for an Invisalign package, but it was way out of my budget as a young professional, especially knowing I was about to return to school,” she shares. “I asked about retainers to hold my teeth in place for the time being. The two options were metal and plastic or clear plastic. The metal and plastic has a longer lifespan but was far more expensive, so I opted for the clear plastic retainers. These have a lifespan of about a year and I believe they were $50 each, which I paid out of pocket.”
Rawdin says, “I see at least a couple patients a week with this issue!”
While she notes that Invisalign or Smile Direct Club are good options if you want your teeth to be straightened, she says a new retainer is the perfect option if you’re looking to maintain the position of your teeth and prevent them from moving in the future.
Retainer lost or looking less than hygienic? Talk to your dentist or orthodontist about an investment that’s right for your budget and will keep your teeth right where you want them to be.

10. A Good “Tung” Scraper

This pick is from my sis and is one that I look forward to trying in the future, especially because it comes from a company that uses only natural ingredients (“mostly wildcrafted and organic”), demonstrates a long-term commitment to sourcing recyclable and biodegradable materials, and has “strong ethical values: Ethical & honest, cruelty-free, no child labor, no discrimination.”
“The tongue scraper I use is Dr. Tung’s,” Emersyn says. She purchased it at a local herbs and supplements store after trying a copper tongue scraper that rusted almost immediately.
“I’ve had the Dr. Tung’s scraper for about six months now and love it. I became curious about tongue scraping when I was reading about different Ayurvedic remedies and looking into oil pulling. I scrape my tongue once a day after brushing my teeth at night. I love that the tongue scraper helps get rid of bad breath and aftertastes. It makes my mouth feel a lot cleaner.”
Rawdin says, “Cleaning your tongue is an important step in your oral hygiene routine, however, you don’t need a fancy tongue scraper. You can just use your toothbrush to clean the coating that can form on your tongue containing plaque and bacteria. If not removed, it can often cause bad breath.”
If a patient uses a tongue scraper, Rawdin says she certainly doesn’t discourage it, and she shares these tongue-scraper tips:

  • Tongue scrapers can be used once a day to remove the discolored coating that can form on the tongue.
  • A few sweeps with the scraper should do the trick.
  • You don’t want to apply too much pressure, because you can cause bleeding and superficial damage to the surface of the tongue, which will heal but will be a little tender in the meantime.

“A warning, though,” Rawdin says, “if there’s a coating on the tongue that does not come off with gentle pressure or there is bleeding when the coating is removed, be sure to see your dentist. These signs can be an indication that something else may be going on.”
Whether you opt for a Dr. Tung’s scraper or choose to clean your tongue with your sweet new Preserve toothbrush, here’s to feeling your sexiest, whether you’re flossin’, smoothing on a White Strip, or sipping on tap water to keep those pearly whites shining bright like diamonds.
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Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Orthorexia Is The Eating Disorder No One Talks About

There was no name for orthorexia when Lisa Fogarty started showing the signs of the eating disorder as a young tween. “I gave up eating foods with sugar when I was 12,” Fogarty recalls. “I lost a little weight and got positive attention for it, so I kept going. I remember loving how it felt to not feel full, so I gradually restricted more and more until I was skipping meals and labeling a lot of foods, including carbs and veggies like sweet potatoes, as bad.”
Most of us associate some foods with being inherently “bad” for our bodies—after all, no one is eating a platter of brownies expecting it to make us healthier. But people with orthorexia don’t just categorize some food as “bad” and some as “good”: They’re preoccupied with the differentiation, and they eschew the “bad” and only eat the “good.” Put more simply, people with orthorexia are obsessed with healthy eating—to the point of what doctors call disordered eating (which commonly includes having an eating disorder).
After dire warnings about the childhood obesity crisis in the aughts, Americans have slowly but surely come around to the idea that a nutritious diet is crucial to our overall health. Spend more than a few minutes on any social media site, and you’re bound to run into a slew of posts about eating healthy: Raw food. Clean eating. Farm-to-table. Whole30. Non-GMO.
Surely those people are just trying to make good choices for their bodies, right? Well, most of them are!
But what happens when you go from eating healthy so you can sustain your body and mind to allowing healthy eating to become an obsession? How do you go from a diet that’s designed to keep your heart muscles happy and your mind sharp to a therapist’s office and a diagnosis of orthorexia?

What is orthorexia?

In 1997, a name appeared for the restricted diet that’s followed Fogarty and thousands like her into adulthood. That’s when Steven Bratman, MD, a physician from Fort Collins, Colorado, wrote an article in Yoga Journal that changed the face of the eating disorder discussion in America and around the world. It’s believed to be the very first time the term “orthorexia” was written down.  
Titled “Health Food Junkie,” the article centered around Bratman’s premise that healthy eating can be good for you, but it can also become an unhealthy obsession.
“Many of the most unbalanced people I have ever met are those who have devoted themselves to healthy eating,” Bratman wrote at the time. “In fact, I believe some of them have actually contracted a novel eating disorder for which I have coined the name ‘orthorexia nervosa.’ The term uses ‘ortho,’ meaning straight, correct, and true, to modify ‘anorexia nervosa.’ Orthorexia nervosa refers to a pathological fixation on eating proper food.”
How does someone end up, as Bratman described in 1997, “dominated by efforts to resist temptation, self-condemnation for lapses, self-praise for success at complying with the chosen regime, and feelings of superiority over others less pure in their dietary habits”?
The experts say orthorexia has direct ties to other eating disorders (such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder) and the risk factors inherent in them all.

Signs of Orthorexia

Of course, just because you love kale smoothies and could live the rest of your life without ever eating an Oreo doesn’t mean you’re orthorexic. Some people have better dietary habits than others, and just about every medical practitioner out there will tell you to eat a nutritious diet as often as possible.
“Orthorexia is defined as an ‘unhealthy obsession’ with healthy eating, a term which literally means ‘fixation on righteous eating,’” says licensed marriage and family therapist Ashley Moser, site director at the Renfrew Center, an eating disorder treatment facility in Charlotte, North Carolina.  
Here’s how Moser says you can tell if you (or a loved one) might be crossing the line into an obsession with healthy eating:

  • Compulsively checking of ingredient lists and nutrition labels
  • Refusal to eat foods labeled as “unhealthy” or processed
  • Showing high levels of distress when “healthy” foods are unavailable
  • Variety of foods eaten becomes fewer and fewer
  • Increased social isolation and eating alone

Typically folks who battle orthorexia have similar risk factors to those who battle other eating disorders, says Lauren Smolar, director of programs at the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). She divides those risk factors into three categories: Social pressures, psychological risk factors, and/or biological predispositions.
For example, someone with a family member who has (or had) an eating disorder might have a biological predisposition to disordered eating, whereas someone who struggles with weight stigma or teasing and bullying might have social pressures that increase their risk of an eating disorder, including orthorexia.
From a psychological standpoint, issues such as body image dissatisfaction and a personal history of an anxiety disorder can up one’s risk for an eating disorder such as orthorexia.
What’s more, there are typically what doctors call comorbidities that come along with orthorexia. That means that you can have two (or more) conditions at the same time. With orthorexia, that typically involves other eating disorders as well as an anxiety disorder and/or obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), Smolar says. OCD in particular is often found in folks with orthorexia, but because orthorexia isn’t an “official” diagnosis, there is little research on why the two crop up together so frequently.

Diagnosing Orthorexia: How does it work?

If you look at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (more commonly known as the DSM-5), you won’t find orthorexia nervosa listed.
The DSM-5 is the diagnosing manual used by the American Psychiatric Association, which declined to add orthorexia as its own diagnosis in its most recent edition.
So does that mean orthorexia doesn’t exist as anything more than a word thrown out by Bratman once upon a time?
Not at all, says Thom Dunn, PhD, a professor of psychological sciences at the University of Northern Colorado who has committed much of his time to researching orthorexia.
Although orthorexia isn’t in the DSM, neither was binge-eating disorder before 2013, “although it was widely acknowledged that it existed before then,” Dunn tells HealthyWay.
Researchers like Dunn have found conclusive evidence that orthorexia is real, and professionals in the eating disorder field—such as the folks at NEDA—do recognize orthorexia as something that can not only occur with other disordered eating conditions but is a separate condition in and of itself.
[pullquote align=”center”]“The irony is that people are being unhealthy in their pursuit of being strictly healthy.”
—Thom Dunn, PhD[/pullquote]
What sets orthorexia apart from other eating disorders is an obsession with being “healthy” that takes someone to the point of actually being the exact opposite.
“For some people, their desire to be healthy becomes all consuming and it starts to affect their ability to live their lives,” Dunn explains. “For some, they get malnourished. The irony is that people are being unhealthy in their pursuit of being strictly healthy.”
So, if orthorexia isn’t an “official” diagnosis, how can someone be diagnosed with it?
Often, patients aren’t—at least not where health insurance companies are concerned.
“Most often these people get an anorexia diagnosis since they are underweight,” Dunn says. That can be enough to trigger a health insurance company to start paying for treatment. If not, practitioners like Dunn may diagnose someone with other specified feeding or eating disorder(OSFED), which is in the DSM.
For Fogarty, that’s exactly what had to happen. Now 40, she spent her twenties and thirties drifting in and out of therapy for anorexia; it was at age 34 that a therapist and nutritionist both told her that she had “orthorexic tendencies” and began treating her for her food-related obsessions in addition to her tendency to starve herself.
She works with a nutritionist now to help develop the skills she needs to vary her diet. “The biggest obstacle I have is overcoming the fear of new foods or foods that I still associate as bad,” Fogarty says, “like taco shells or white pasta. The recent campaign against carbs really screwed with my head a bit, I admit.”

Orthorexia Treatment and Recovery

For those who have extreme orthorexia that has caused them to become malnourished, hospitalization may be required. After all, Moser says, while it’s sometimes referred to online as the “good eating disorder,” there’s nothing positive about restricting your food intake to the point of getting sick.
And someone with orthorexia can get very sick. “Some of the risks include medical complications from malnutrition, which affects every organ system in the body,” Moser points out.
It’s a fact Fogarty knows all too well. When she was 21, she was slated to enter a hospital and be force-fed food, which is what first prompted her to seek treatment.
Fogarty has been trying to make treatment work for nearly 20 years. That’s because there is no quick cure for an eating disorder. Often recovery begins with treatment—be it hospitalization or intensive, outpatient therapy—and turns into living in recovery.

Living With Orthorexia

It’s partly because of the near constant and often contradictory headlines about what different foods will do to our bodies (butter’s healthy—no, it’s not—wait, yes, it is!) that orthorexia recovery can be so difficult.
While an alcoholic may be able to steer clear of bars and ask their friends to throw booze-free bashes, we can’t ignore all the news or stay away from the grocery store and its human-sized displays touting the purported benefits of the latest health craze.
[pullquote align=”center”]“It is important to provide education on balanced eating and approach food with a more neutral stance of ‘all foods fit.’”
—Ashley Moser, LMFT[/pullquote]
That’s why orthorexia treatment focuses not just on therapy but on forming a healthier relationship with food.
“It is important to provide education on balanced eating and approach food with a more neutral stance of ‘all foods fit,’” says Moser. “It’s helpful to remember these messages when faced with societal pressure to eat healthy.”
If you’re struggling to develop a food plan without falling back on old habits, set up an appointment with a nutritionist. They can help you map out meals that are healthy—both in the sense of giving your body the nutrition it needs and in the sense of stretching beyond orthorexic tendencies. You may also want to start a food journal, which you can review and/or share with your nutritionist on a regular basis to ensure you’re actually meeting your nutrition goals rather than denying yourself.
You can also work with a nutritionist to set goals that test the bounds of what you’ve come to consider as “safe” and “okay” foods. For example, Fogarty has been challenged by her nutritionist to eat dessert at least once or twice a week with her family.
“That’s hard,” she admits. “But my nutritionist is trying to make me understand that the things I think will happen, like losing control or gaining 10 pounds overnight, won’t happen when you just let go of some of these fears. It’s an ongoing process and it takes therapy and nutritional counseling.”
Not sure where to begin? That’s okay. Call the NEDA support line at 800-931-2237 or look into their online chat options to talk to someone on their team.

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Health x Body Wellbeing

What Types Of Therapy Are Out There? How To Find The Best Fit For You

Going to therapy can be tough.
That’s an understatement. There’s a great deal of stigma surrounding therapy and mental health issues, accessing a therapist can be expensive, and sometimes your therapist doesn’t really gel with you.
Not to mention that it’s often difficult to talk about your experiences, thoughts, and fears.
I’ve seen therapists off and on from the age of 13. My first therapist was more harmful than helpful, and she barely helped me with my post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms at all. I was afraid of approaching a second therapist because my first experience was so unhelpful.
I’m glad that I eventually tried therapy again, because my second experience helped me a great deal. My new therapist used two kinds of therapy—cognitive behavioral and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)—which meant her approach was totally different from the first therapist. This approach helped me a great deal.
[pullquote align=”center”]If you discover that one type of therapy doesn’t seem to be helping you, don’t be put off therapy altogether.[/pullquote]
It’s important to realize that different therapists will have different approaches to therapy. In part, this is because they each have their own areas of interest and expertise. It’s also because there are a number of types of therapy out there. Many psychotherapists are trained in more than one kind of therapy, and some may use a blend of different methods to treat you. Some types of therapy might work for you, and others won’t. It’s a matter of finding something that suits you.
If you discover that one type of therapy doesn’t seem to be helping you, don’t be put off therapy altogether. Consider seeing another therapist or pursuing another kind of therapy; it might just pleasantly surprise you.

What types of therapy are there?

There are numerous types of therapy, and while we can’t cover them all here, we can discuss some of the most common types of therapy.

Client-Centered Therapy (CCT)

Also known as person-centered therapy, client-centered therapy is a widely used form of therapy that was first conceptualized in the 1940s. The idea behind CCT is to constantly remember that the client is a person and that we have the power to heal ourselves—we just need a little support. The therapy focuses on the client; the therapist is there primarily to listen and empathize. While the therapist can give a little guidance, they encourage the client to make their own decisions and work through their own feelings.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Another fairly common type of therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on changing your thought patterns to help you develop healthier patterns of behavior.
Cognitive behavioral therapy revolves around the principle that our feelings result from our thoughts and that therefore the best way to improve how you feel is to work on changing your thoughts,” says Raffi Bilek. Bilek is a licensed clinical social work counselor and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center, as well as the director of the Montgomery County Abuse Intervention Program in Maryland. “This kind of therapy is usually practical, concrete, and directed.”
Olivia Djouadi, a licensed psychotherapist and counselor, often uses the image of a triangle to help her clients navigate certain experiences. The three points of the triangle represent thoughts, feelings, and behavior, all of which she examines when helping a client work through an experience.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) includes helping the client change their behavior by developing new skills. These skills could include mindfulness, positive social skills, regulating your emotions, and tolerating distressing situations.
If you’re prone to self-destructive behavior, or if you struggle with regulating your emotions, this could be a great form of therapy for you. Although DBT was originally used to treat people with borderline personality disorder, substance abuse issues, and/or suicidal thoughts, it’s also effective for a range of other mental health issues. Studies suggest that DBT can be helpful in eating disorder treatment, particularly for binge-eating disorder and bulimia.

Eye Movement and Desensitization Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)

According to the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA), this type of therapy is helpful in processing trauma. If the memory of a trauma is greatly upsetting to you, EMDR can help you process the experience. This form of therapy can also be used to treat a range of other mood and personality disorders.
An EMDR session might seem different from most types of talk therapy. In my case, my therapist would tap one knee and then the other while I had to imagine and recall the details of traumatic experiences. While this was hard, it ultimately helped.
EMDRIA notes that the movement of the eyes during EMDR is like what happens when we dream. Our eyes move back and forth, which is why the dreaming phase of sleeping is called rapid eye movement or REM. We know that dreaming is important for storing and processing information, and it is thought that EMDR elicits a similar process.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy

Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) can blend mindfulness practices with CBT. “Mindfulness broadly refers to the practice of being aware of your feelings, thoughts, and sensations in the present moment,” Bilek says. “This kind of therapy is aimed at helping you develop the skill of mindfulness, which can help you gain more control over your experience and thereby better achieve your goals.” Mindfulness-based therapy can also include using meditation and breathing exercises as tools.
“It slows down the thinking patterns and can help people focus on the situation they have been through and start to accept what has happened,” Djouadi says. “Before discussing any trauma, I connect a client with a safe object, which may be a good memory or their phone. Some clients might not have ever had a safe feeling so I slowly introduce what one may be,” she explains. This exercise helps to ground them and help them feel safe.
Studies have found that mindfulness-based therapy is effective in treating depression as well as bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders.

Play Therapy

Talking about your feelings and past experiences isn’t always easy, so expressive forms of therapy like play therapy can be useful. Djouadi says that play therapy, while often used with children, can also be used to treat adults. “I use play therapy when clients struggle with dissociation, as it begins to heal the developmental areas that were affected by early trauma,” she says.

Which type of therapy is right for me?

As you can see, there are so many types of therapy out there that it can be hard to choose one. The important thing to remember is that there are many different approaches to therapy, and you can seek another therapist or a different kind of therapy if one doesn’t work for you.
[pullquote align=”center”]“The best therapy to go with is the one that resonates with you the most.
—Raffi Bilek, LCSW[/pullquote]
The type of therapy that’s used to treat you will depend on your own needs; particular types of therapy are more suited to certain types of mental illnesses or emotional struggles.
“Research seems to indicate that the best therapy to go with is the one that resonates with you the most,” Bilek says. “Studies have shown that all therapeutic modalities are more or less equally effective, so long a there is a plausible theory behind it. This means that if you really like the idea of CBT, then that will work well for you, and if mindfulness is your thing, that can work well for you too,” he says. Experimenting with different types of therapy could be helpful.
You should always ensure that your therapist has a license to practice therapy. If you’re looking for a therapist who practices a specific type of therapy, ask what types of therapy they practice and what their relevant training is.
Bilek points out that it’s more crucial to make sure that you’re comfortable with your therapist than to look for a specific kind of therapy. “Far more important than the kind of therapy is the relationship you have with the therapist. So your best bet is to pick a therapist, meet with them, and see how you like them. If you don’t, try someone else,” he says. “You shouldn’t shop around forever between all the therapists in town, but you should feel free to try a couple until you find one you feel comfortable with.”
Opening up about your innermost feelings and life experiences can feel overwhelming, but fortunately there are many types of therapy available—and qualified therapists who are willing to help.

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

Tick Bite Symptoms You Shouldn’t Ignore (And Some That Never Show)

Tick bite symptoms are about as maddening as it can get. Sometimes they show up. Sometimes they decide to hide like an ostrich with its head in the sand.
And yet, everywhere you turn, there are warnings that getting bitten by a pesky tick can put you at risk for some serious diseases, including Lyme, the most rampant tick-borne disease of them all.
If you’ve been bitten by a tick or you’re wondering if one of those wily arachnids snacked on your skin, you’re probably searching for a rash that looks like a bullseye somewhere on your body. So what happens if you find one? And, for that matter, what happens if you don’t?

Tick Bite Symptoms: The Bullseye

The bullseye rash has become synonymous with tick bite symptoms ever since Yale University researchers first discovered Lyme disease and deer ticks—the critters spreading the infection—way back in the 1970s. The first cases of Lyme disease cropped up in and around Lyme, Connecticut (hence the name), where 51 residents were diagnosed with juvenile arthritis or arthritis of unknown cause. The more research scientists did, the more sure they were that the problem was the bite of the deer tick, or Ixodes scapularis.
Fast forward some 40 years, and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates 329,000 cases of Lyme disease now occur annually in the United States. The species of tick that makes people sick has spread from Connecticut to 14 states in the Northeast and upper Midwest, and they typically come out to bite people during the late spring, summer, and early fall (from about April to October).
As the tiny disease-carrying creatures have spread, the tick bite symptoms that doctors tell patients to look for have changed rather drastically too.  
The bullseye that was once known as a classic sign that someone has been bitten by a tick and was at high risk of contracting Lyme is no longer a given, says Bruce Robinson, MD, a clinical professor of dermatology at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City and the creator of JAS, Just Amazing Skincare, a plant-based skincare collection.
“It can look like an ordinary mosquito bite,” Robinson says of a tick bite. “It can look like any version of a bite from a filled-in circle of red to a bullseye.”
In fact, Robinson finds that many patients show up thinking they have a “new mole,” only to find out that the new spot on the body is actually a tick bite.
Even more confounding? Different bodies react differently to tick bites, says David Claborn, doctor of public health and director of the master of public health program at Missouri State University. Your tick bite symptoms might include itching. Your friend’s tick bite symptoms might involve pain. But each of you could have been bitten by the same little critter!
“Much depends on the body’s reaction to the bite,” Claborn explains. “Allergic reactions can cause a great deal of discomfort—or worse. If the person has pulled the tick off, the tick’s mouthparts may have been left in the bite site and these can fester up.”

Why Tick Bites Are So Dangerous

Being bitten by a tick is unpleasant. It can itch. It can cause pain, and for some people, diseases and other conditions can set in.
For example, Claborn says, if the tick is feeding near the spinal cord or base of the brain, a type of paralysis called tick paralysis can occur. This usually resolves quickly after the tick is removed or drops off. Another condition linked to tick bites causes an allergy to red meat, Claborn says, although the full explanation for how this allergy develops is not yet known.
There’s also ehrlichiosis (a bacterial disease fairly common in parts of the U.S.), Rocky Mountain spotted fever, tularemia (a bacterial disease often associated with hunting rabbits that is actually transmitted by ticks) and diseases common to the Midwest caused by the Bourbon virus and the Heartland virus.
[pullquote align=”center”]“For some people, Lyme disease can go away on its own within several weeks, but for others, if not treated, Lyme disease can spread to the central nervous system, muscle and joints, eyes and heart.”
—Jack Cornwell, MD[/pullquote]
Finally, there’s  Lyme disease, the most common tick-borne illness in the U.S. Every year, approximately 30,000 cases of Lyme disease are reported to the CDC by state health departments and the District of Columbia, but the CDC estimates there are substantially more cases that go undiagnosed and thus unreported.
It’s Lyme disease that gets the most attention in part because it’s most prevalent but also because it has devastating effects for some people who don’t get treatment or aren’t treated in a timely manner.
“For some people, Lyme disease can go away on its own within several weeks,” explains Jack Cornwell, MD, medical director at CareWell Urgent Care, “but for others, if not treated, Lyme disease can spread to the central nervous system, muscle and joints, eyes and heart.”
“Everyone’s body reacts differently, and symptoms may vary in severity,” Cornwell continues, “but since Lyme disease can affect multiple systems, it’s important to see a doctor right away if you suspect it.”

When will tick bite symptoms show up?

What tick bite symptoms should you be looking for, and when should you be looking?
Unlike a bee that stings and flies off quickly or even a mosquito that lands, snacks, and flies away within seconds, ticks stick around on your body. An adult female tick can actually stay for as long as 7 to 10 days without being noticed, although nymphs (young ticks) or larvae (very young ticks) tend to feed off a subject for less than four days according to Robinson.
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Some more good news here: In most cases, to transmit Lyme disease, a deer tick has to be attached to its host for 36 to 48 hours, Robinson says. Grabbing a tweezer and pulling that sucker off before it hits that point means you can usually stop potential infection before it sets in, although it’s still good to check in with your doctor as your estimate of how long the tick was attached may be off.
Gross? Yes.
But if you don’t notice a tick using you as a snack, don’t beat yourself up too hard. It happens, and it’s extremely common—hence the CDC’s warning that estimates of Lyme disease are on the low side. Ticks are tiny, even smaller than your pencil eraser, so you may or may not notice one on your body. And they like to move into warm, moist spots on the body, such as the crack of your butt or the fold between your leg and labia (or penis).
And even when they drop off, the signs that a tick has bitten you may not be immediate. Rashes may appear anywhere from 3 to 40 days after a bite, Robinson warns.
Even then, the rash only occurs in about 70 to 80 percent of the population. When it does, it will typically (but not always!) look like a bullseye or target that expands gradually over a period of days, spanning a diameter of 12 inches (30 cm) or more across.
You may also experience fever, chills, headache, fatigue, muscle and joint aches, and swollen lymph nodes. Any or all of these symptoms of a tick bite are reason to head to your doctor ASAP.
If Lyme isn’t caught early, it can progress to additional symptoms, including:

  • Severe headaches and neck stiffness
  • Additional rashes on other areas of the body
  • Arthritis with severe joint pain and swelling, particularly the knees and other large joints.
  • Facial palsy (loss of muscle tone or droop on one or both sides of the face)
  • Intermittent pain in tendons, muscles, joints, and bones
  • Heart palpitations or an irregular heartbeat (known as Lyme carditis)
  • Episodes of dizziness or shortness of breath
  • Inflammation of the brain and spinal cord
  • Nerve pain
  • Shooting pains, numbness, or tingling in the hands or feet
  • Problems with short-term memory

Tick Bite Testing

Once you show up in the doctor’s office, they’ll examine your rash or bite mark—if you have one—and run some blood tests.
Unfortunately, even if you are tested for Lyme, as many as 60 percent of cases are missed by diagnostic testing, says Jo Ellis, director of education with Bay Area Lyme Foundation. And that’s even when doctors use the blood tests that are what Ellis calls the “gold standard” for diagnosing Lyme.
“As a result of the difficulty in diagnosing and treating Lyme disease, at least 500,000 Americans, and possibly up to one million, suffer from its debilitating later-stage symptoms,” Ellis says.
So what does that mean for you if you’ve been bitten by a tick? If you continue to experience any of the symptoms mentioned above, follow up with your doctor immediately. Sometimes performing the test at a later date may result in a positive.
Some doctors have now taken to treating patients prophylactically—aka without a confirmed diagnosis—if it can be confirmed that they were bitten by a tick (an attached tick or a bullseye rash are major indicators). But that means calling your doctor very quickly after a suspected tick bite, Cornwell notes.
[pullquote align=”center”]Many doctors’ offices and urgent care centers have the ability to send ticks out for testing for Lyme, which can help a doctor make the diagnosis even if a blood test is negative.[/pullquote]
“The window for taking prophylactic doxycycline, the medicine that decreases the likelihood that you develop Lyme disease, closes between 48 and 72 hours after infection,” he warns.
If you found the tick attached to your body and you were able to remove it with a pair of tweezers, you can stick it in a Ziploc baggie and bring it along to your doctor’s office for testing, although it’s not required.
“There is no way to know for sure if a tick is carrying Lyme disease or not unless the tick is tested,” Cornwell explains. Many doctors’ offices and urgent care centers have the ability to send ticks out for testing for Lyme, which can help a doctor make the diagnosis even if a blood test is negative.
This only works if the entire tick is intact, however, so Cornwell is quick to warn patients to pull gently with their tweezers so they can ensure they get the entire tick off the skin.
If the tick comes out in pieces, however, don’t stress yourself, especially if you’re not showing any symptoms!
“Plenty of laboratories offer to test ticks to determine whether they’re carrying any diseases. But that’s generally not worth your money,” Robinson notes, explaining that the tests can be $50 or more at some labs. “Even if the tick is infected with something, it doesn’t mean that it was able to transmit that infection, and if your tick comes back positive for Lyme disease or another infection, you probably won’t be treated unless you yourself start having symptoms.”

Don’t anger the tick!

Notice that the experts suggest grabbing a set of tweezers to remove a tick? No matter what you’ve seen on Pinterest or what your best friend swears her grandpa used to do to remove a tick, tweezers are the only doctor-recommended removal method for ticks.
“Common folk wisdom strategies for getting that tick to detach include holding a lit match toward it, smothering it with petroleum jelly or nail polish, and dabbing the spot with acetone or bleach,” Robinson says, but he’s quick to note that “all are questionable ideas!”
“With the lit-match strategy, you may just end up burning yourself, and while you might kill the tick, that won’t necessarily cause the tick to detach,” he warns. “ A dead tick is not going to come off any more easily than a live tick. As for the other methods above, even if they do work—and it’s not clear that they will—they may take long enough to allow a tick to pass on an infection.”
So grab the tweezers and grasp the tick as close to the surface of your skin as possible (this way you get the head as well as the body). Then firmly but steadily pull the tick directly backward from the bite site without twisting or jerking, Robinson suggests.
If there are still bits of the tick in the bite, use the tweezers to remove them as well. After everything’s gone, grab the rubbing alcohol and a cotton swab or a washcloth with soap and water, and clean the area to prevent additional infection of the wound.  

Don’t panic.

Although the number of Lyme cases in the U.S. has been trending upward and tick bites are not to be ignored, simply being bitten by a tick does not mean you will get sick.
“Only 2 percent of tick bites result in Lyme disease,” Cornwell says, “So while it’s important to be proactive, not every bite will result in an infection.”

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Wellbeing

Symptoms of Meningitis Everyone Should Know

Everyone gets sick from time to time. But sometimes, what we think of as a normal cold or flu might actually be far more dangerous. With flu season fast approaching, it’s important to understand and recognize the difference between normal illness and more serious conditions.
If flu-like symptoms come on and escalate quickly, it may mean you or a loved one has actually contracted meningitis. Meningitis is an infection that causes our meninges—the membranes that provide a protective barrier for the brain and spinal cord—to swell.

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Meningitis is a serious condition that requires immediate attention from a medical professional. It can be life-threatening if left untreated, so it is important to understand the telltale symptoms. When you can spot symptoms early on, you can quickly seek out medical attention that can mitigate the negative effects of the disease.

Understanding the Types of Meningitis

There are a few different types of meningitis, but bacterial and viral meningitis are the two most common.
Bacterial meningitis is the most severe form of meningitis and can be fatal, especially if treatment is delayed. There are many types of bacteria that can cause meningitis, including Streptococcus pneumoniae, Group B Streptococcus, and Listeria monocytogenes.

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Thankfully, the introduction of and increased access to safe and effective vaccines resulted in a steady decrease in bacterial meningitis cases since the 1990s. However, cases that do occur are dangerous and can be fatal if left untreated.
Bacterial meningitis is treated with oral or IV antibiotics, and treatment can last between 10 and 21 days, according to Allan Greissman, MD, of Pediatric Critical Care of South Florida.
The second most commonly experienced meningitis is viral meningitis. Although there is no vaccine for viral meningitis, you can be vaccinated against some of the viruses that could cause meningitis, like measles, mumps, or influenza.
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It helps to think of viral meningitis as a potential complication of these other viruses. This means that, although you might catch measles, mumps, or the flu from someone with viral meningitis, that doesn’t necessarily mean you will also develop viral meningitis.
“Viral meningitis will run its course and should not [be], and is not, treated with IV antibiotics,” says Greissman. He notes that one exception is a form of viral meningitis caused by the herpes viruses, which is treated with an antiviral medication.
Other types of meningitis do exist—fungal, parasitic, and non-infectious—but these are rare when compared to the other two types.
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The most important thing to understand about the different types of meningitis is that only a spinal fluid culture can provide an accurate diagnosis.
“I really would encourage people not to get too focused in terms of trying to differentiate [between types of meningitis],” says Christina Johns, MD, Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and senior medical advisor at PM Pediatrics. “While sometimes they can present differently in terms of time or severity, the symptoms or the typical [experiences] are the same.”

Meningitis Risk Factors

Certain populations are more at risk for developing meningitis than others. Being unvaccinated for meningitis puts you at a higher risk for developing a meningococcal disease, according to Johns. Additionally, being immunosuppressed because of another condition, like HIV, increases the risk of developing infections in general.

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Age is also a risk factor, with young children, young adults, and older adults at an increased risk for developing the disease.
Living in a communal setting, like a boarding school or military base, is another risk factor for developing meningitis. For instance, thanks to the close living quarters of college dorms, there have been recent infectious disease outbreaks on college campuses, as reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Symptoms Everyone Should Know

It may seem that meningitis presents much like less serious or more common illnesses, but there are a few symptoms that set this disease apart.

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At times, the symptoms can seem subtle, according to Greissman, but they can rapidly escalate, especially in the case of bacterial meningitis. This is why he recommends that any patient presenting with the following symptoms seek immediate medical attention, especially if the patient is an infant who cannot verbally share what they are experiencing.

Stiff Neck

Because this infection causes inflammation, neck pain (and general muscle soreness) is one of the primary symptoms of meningitis, according to Greissman. Although it might be true that other viral and bacterial illnesses cause neck pain, the neck pain associated with meningitis is on a distinct level.

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“It’s not just, ‘oh my neck is sore,’ but really, I have likened this clinical picture with people kind of looking like they’re as stiff as a board and moving as a unit,” says Johns. “It really hurts to turn their neck in any direction.”
The same inflammation that causes neck and muscle pain also causes meningitis patients to experience extraordinarily intense headaches. These headaches will steadily become more intense and medication often won’t provide notable relief.

Sensitivity to Light

One of the earliest warning signs of meningitis is photophobia. An individual may develop a dislike of or sensitivity to all light, but especially brighter lights. In addition to eye discomfort because of light, individuals experiencing photophobia may develop headaches and nausea.

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Since photophobia is an early symptom of meningitis, it is certainly worth taking seriously as a cue for seeking medical advice, especially when experienced alongside other symptoms.

Sudden High Fever

A high fever is one symptom of meningitis that is admittedly subtle or easily mistaken for another illness. Even so, it is an important symptom to take seriously, especially in young children. For children too young to communicate that they have a sore neck, are experiencing photosensitivity, or have extreme headaches, a fever is one of the most objective ways to determine if that child needs to see a doctor.

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Kathy Fray, former midwife, parenting author, and private maternity consultant, says that high fevers of 100 degrees or more in children under six months always warrant medical attention. In children over the age of six months, a fever that persists after a dose of acetaminophen or continues to escalate warrants a medical assessment.

A Persistent Rash

The presence of a distinctive rash is a symptom of a more developed case of meningitis and indicates that the infection has progressed to a dangerous point. The rash that develops is caused by broken blood vessels under the skin, according to Fray, and it is an indication that the individual is now experiencing septicemia, otherwise known as blood poisoning.

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When the infection has gotten to this point, the rash will appear all over the skin. While many other viruses and infections might come with a rash, the rash associated with meningitis quickly appears and spreads. What differentiates this rash from others is that it is under the skin, not on the surface. The rash may even begin to look more like bruises than hives, according to Healthline.
An at-home test using a clear drinking glass can help determine if the rash is on the surface or under the skin. When you push the glass against a typical rash, it actually blanches (meaning the color disappears), explains Fray. In the case of a rash associated with meningitis, it doesn’t blanch, since it is under the skin.
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The rash may be harder to spot on darker skin tones. To be certain, check paler areas of the body, like the stomach, the palms of hands, or the soles of feet.

Changes in Mental Status

As meningitis escalates, some patients experience changes in mental status or personality. They may become confused or extremely lethargic, according to Johns.
“A change in mental status in this situation can usually be described as a decreased level of responsiveness; true lethargy or difficult to arouse,” she says. “It’s much more than ‘sleepier than usual.’”

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It is also fairly common for meningitis to cause unusual irritability, according to Greissman. Because of the common occurrence of irritability and agitation in young children with meningitis, when this symptom is experience in combination with a high fever it warrants evaluation for meningitis, even when the child does not or cannot report a stiff neck, according to research published in the European Journal of Pediatrics.

Seizures

Some people who contract meningitis will develop seizures that typically subside quickly after treatment. Seizures associated with meningitis mimic seizures with other causes: The person may stiffen up, experience muscle spasms, or even lose consciousness.

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What sets a seizure apart in meningitis is the cause, according to Johns. For instance, with epilepsy, seizures are caused by an abnormal electrical impulse within the brain tissues. In meningitis, however, seizures result from the brain being irritated from the infection.
If your child or loved one is experiencing a seizure, especially in the presence of other symptoms, seek medical help right away. Until help arrives, roll the person onto their side, place something soft under their head, and stay with them. Do not restrain them or put anything in their mouth, as this could lead to choking.

Rapidly Escalating Symptoms

One final thing that sets meningitis, especially bacterial meningitis, apart from other less-serious illnesses is that it escalates rapidly, according to Greissman. The symptoms above may be confused for another illness at first, but they become dramatically worse over a short period of time.

Meningitis Prevention

The most effective form of treatment for bacterial meningitis is following early childhood vaccine protocols.

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“In the year 2018, given all the vaccines that we now give, bacterial [meningitis] is much less common than 20 years ago,” says Greissman. “We now have vaccines for the pneumococcal bacteria, the meningococcal bacteria, and haemophilus influenzae bacteria.”
When it comes to viral meningitis, there aren’t specific prevention protocols since there is no vaccine. Instead, Johns reminds us that preventing the spread of viruses comes back to the basic practices that prevent the spread of any disease. Wash your hands well, avoid touching your face, and stay home from work or school if you don’t feel well.
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No matter what, it is always a good idea to seek advice and help from a medical professional if you’re uncertain. Because early diagnosis of meningitis is important, recognizing these symptoms in yourself or loved ones can help you catch this illness early and get care and treatment before it becomes dangerous.

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Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

Does Couples Therapy Really Work?

You and your partner can’t seem to communicate without ending up in an argument. You often spend more time apart than as a couple. At least one of you is pretty unhappy with the state of your relationship. You love your partner deeply, so you don’t want to end your relationship, but you feel your current situation is untenable.
Or maybe none of those things are happening, but you feel that something is off with your relationship and you’re not sure how to fix it. Sound familiar?
If so, couples therapy may be able to help you and your partner get your groove back.
I spoke with licensed family and marriage therapists who specialize in couples therapy to get answers to some of the questions surrounding it and to find out whether it really works—and how to know when it might be time to give couples therapy a try.

Signs You and Your Partner May Need Couples Therapy

First of all, it’s important to remember that happy couples go to counseling too. “Counseling [can] strengthen a relationship, even if it is already strong,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Sara Stanizai of Prospect Therapy in Long Beach, California. “It would be like saying that people who are fit [or] in shape should be embarrassed about going to the gym!”
But if you can’t honestly describe your relationship as a happy one, your relationship may need professional intervention, Stanizai explains. Each partner rates or describes the relationship differently. You may rate your relationship as unsatisfactory, but your partner may think things are great.
No matter how each of you views your relationship, you may want to start thinking about couples therapy if you experience any of the following on a regular basis:

  • You are unhappy in the relationship more days than not.
  • You are having regular, frequent disagreements (especially if the same issue keeps coming up).
  • You feel nervous, anxious, or depressed thinking about your relationship or when you’re with your partner, but you’re okay with your friends, family, at work, or even around strangers.

This list is by no means exhaustive, says Stanizai. In fact, you may want to give couples therapy a go for other seemingly minor issues that have begun to cause a rift in your relationship over time.
For example, your partner may always leave dishes in the sink, which drives you crazy. They say, “But it’s just dishes!” To you, though, it might be a bigger issue. As Stanizai explains, “If you keep having the same disagreement, there is an underlying issue that is coming up in different situations in your relationship. It’s not about doing the dishes, but it’s about showing respect, trust, or aligned values.”
That said, it’s a myth that couples have to be actively unhappy to seek couples counseling or marriage therapy. Your relationship with your partner might be great—so great, in fact, that you find yourself unable to function without your partner. “If you feel like your identity is wrapped up in your partner and you struggle to be your own person, if you can’t make decisions without them…that’s unhealthy too,” says Stanizai.
[related article_ids=1006609]

How to Know if You Need Couples Therapy

Everywhere from the workplace to the doctor’s office, women are often accused of overreacting, being overly emotional, or worst of all, the “C” word. No, not that one, the other “C” word: crazy.
In fact, researchers in a joint study by Arizona State University and the University of Illinois at Chicago found that men are perceived as being more influential when they assertively express themselves, but the opposite holds true for women. Unfortunately, this can be all too common in relationships as well.
[pullquote align=”center”]“If you can’t ‘get over’ the issue or you’re still upset about it later, it means it was more than a temporary irritability.
Sara Stanizai, LMFT[/pullquote]
So how do you know if you’re “overreacting” to a situation or if there is a real problem between you and your partner?
“If it’s a repeat issue or you have had the same disagreement before, it’s a sign there’s an underlying issue at play,” explains Stanizai. “Likewise, if you can’t ‘get over’ the issue or you’re still upset about it later, it means it was more than a temporary irritability.”
If you still feel upset, sad, or angry about an issue in your relationship, then your feelings are valid, regardless of whether your partner agrees with you. In this case, a marriage and family therapist may be able to help you and your partner communicate effectively to gain clarity on how each of you is feeling.

How to Convince Your Partner to Go to Couples Therapy

It’s not a good idea bring up the topic of marriage counseling or couples therapy in the middle of an argument, says Stanizai. Issues in your relationship are the responsibility of both you and your partner. But bringing up therapy during an already tense conversation could result in your partner showing hostility toward couples counseling because they may feel blamed for the situation (even if that wasn’t your intent).
Stanizai recommends that people “bring up couples therapy during a calm, happy time in your relationship … instead of bringing it up during or right after a disagreement.” She adds that people are less likely to be defensive if they’re both already in a calm place in the relationship. You’ll be able to explain why you think you need couples therapy without inadvertently placing an unfair share of blame on their shoulders.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Whitney Hawkins of the Collaborative Counseling Center in Miami, Florida, echoes Stanizai and says that if your partner gets upset when you mention couples therapy, it’s time to take a break from the conversation. “Table this conversation for a later time. Once one or both of you are flooded with emotion, it will be impossible to make any headway. You can say something as simple as, ‘I understand why you would feel that way. I’ll give you some time to think [and] we can talk about it tomorrow.’ Set another time to have a discussion about what is going on in your relationship.”
Even if you feel very strongly that you and your partner should attend couples counseling or marriage counseling, don’t make the decision for the both of you. Instead, suggest couples therapy to your partner as one option for working through your relationship issues and explain why you’d like to give couples counseling a try; end your proposal by telling your partner that it’s a decision you’d like to make together.
If your partner is totally unreceptive to the idea of going to couples therapy, then don’t give up completely.
[pullquote align=”center”]“The first step to eliminating stigma around couples therapy is simply talking about it.”
—Whitney Hawkins, LMFT[/pullquote]
“Remind them it’s not a ‘done deal,’ or an ultimatum, says Stanizai. “Say they can think about it and see if it’s something they’re interested in pursuing. People freak out because they feel they don’t have an option. If given the option, especially if they are having the same disagreements with you over and over, they are more likely to agree.”

The Stigma Around Couples Therapy

When you demonstrate shame about a subject, people often assume it is something to be ashamed of,” says Hawkins. But that shouldn’t be the case with couples therapy. “The first step to eliminating stigma around couples therapy is simply talking about it,” she continues.
When you start talking openly about therapy, Stanizai says you might be surprised to find that many couples have either thought about therapy or participated in couples therapy exercises.
If you’re worried that your family and friends already suspect something’s up or if you’ve been asked directly if you and your partner are in couples counseling, you’re under no obligation to share any personal information about your relationship. Plus, you don’t have to worry about your therapist sharing that information, because couples counseling and marriage therapy sessions are 100 percent confidential.  
Still, if you want, you can talk to people about counseling without revealing what goes on in your therapy sessions. Here are some responses Stanizai recommends for when your well-meaning mother or best friend wants to know what’s going on:

  • “We’re getting a relationship tune-up.”
  • “We got a great recommendation for a therapist and thought, ‘Why not?’ We’re excited to see how therapy can help our relationship grow.”
  • “We’re meeting with someone who specializes in [xyz issue, demographics, profession, ethnicity, etc.] so we’re interested to see how it works for us.”
  • We keep having the same disagreement and we’re over it, so we’re hoping to get to the bottom of it with some professional help.”

How to Choose a Couples Therapist

“An objective third party is never a bad idea,” Hawkins says. “When things get heated or tense in a relationship, it can be really difficult to remain objective, because you are invested emotionally. A professional can help shine a light on the dynamics that are keeping you stuck and teach you new ways to interact and support one another.”
Choosing the right therapist is critical to whether you and your partner will see positive results from couples therapy. To ensure that you and your partner pick a therapist that you both like, make sure you are both involved in the initial consultations and that you both address any questions or reservations that you may have.
You’ll also want to make sure that the therapist you choose uses a treatment model that works for your relationship issues.
For couples seeking help with substance abuse and other addictions, behavioral couples therapy (BCT) is an ideal treatment model, because it incorporates couples counseling techniques that promote abstinence from drugs and alcohol and help to build a stronger support system.
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) puts the emphasis on a couple’s emotions and how to transform negative emotions eroding a relationship into positive ones. If you’re dealing with multiple relationship issues, your therapist may use couples therapy techniques from a variety of treatment models.
Both Stanizai and Hawkins use the Gottman method of couples counseling. In this treatment model, couples complete extensive assessments and therapists use their findings to create a unique, research-based treatment plan for each couple.
While the most important thing is choosing a therapist who is going to help you improve your relationship, couples also have to consider the practicality of couples therapy. Therapy can get pricey, and according to both Stanizai and Hawkins, it’s rarely covered by insurance. Sessions vary in price depending on where you live, but you can expect to pay between $100 and $300 per session.
If money is one of your big relationship stressors, perhaps you can compromise by agreeing to one session and have the therapist help you come up with a plan for how to budget couples counseling together.

What to Expect in Couples Therapy

Once you’ve chosen a therapist, you’ll dive into the actual work of couples therapy. In the beginning, you can expect to attend weekly couples counseling sessions, with the first few sessions focused on gathering information about the relationship, says Hawkins. Don’t be alarmed if your therapist interviews both of you together and separately to get to the root of what’s causing your relationship issues.
“We gather that information and focus on your strengths as a couple as well as the areas that are mismatched [and] areas of growth,” Stanizai says about the Gottman method of couples counseling. “People worry that ‘all their problems’ will come out in couples therapy, but we also focus a lot on what you’re doing well.”
You can expect that couples therapy sessions will be hard work, Stanizai explains. Your therapist will guide you through the counseling session, but they’ll really allow you and your partner to work out disagreements in your sessions, as they also teach you to communicate effectively.
As therapy continues and you show progress as a couple, the frequency of sessions will typically decrease to every other week, then once a month or on an as-needed basis, but there is no set schedule for when weekly meetings end.

Couples Therapy Coping Skills

During couples counseling, you won’t just focus on everything that’s bad in your relationship. In fact, you can expect to spend some sessions building on what is already working and enhancing your friendship with your partner. This is what you’ll want to focus on between sessions. Plus, your therapist will often give you communication tools to use at home.
“People will see the benefits as their therapy tools start working at home as they use them,” says Stanizai. “As with any new set of tools (like learning a new language—you’re saying the same things but using different language) it will feel awkward at first. The best way to learn is to practice, which you can do in and out of session.”
It’s imperative that both of you commit to therapy if you want it to work, says Hawkins. “It can be very difficult to engage a partner who wants out of the relationship and has been forced into attending counseling,” Hawkins continues. “For some couples, marriage counseling is actually divorce counseling because they’ve already decided it’s over. Some partners may use counseling as a venue to dissolve the relationship, but if you and your partner are open to the process, a lot of great change can be made.”
That can be tough to hear if you’re committed to working things out but your partner isn’t. Still, if you mutually decide to end your relationship, that doesn’t mean you failed as a couple.
If the relationship is not able to be salvaged this does not constitute a failure,” Hawkins emphasizes. “Maybe throughout the course of therapy, you decide you would like to end the relationship. …Keeping a relationship intact is not the only option in couples counseling. You and the clinician can work together to create goals that are appropriate for your life and provide you with the best result.”