Category: Wellbeing

We get a lot from our parents. Bone structure, our first car, eye color, money habits, etc. It’s well-known that we can inherit certain health conditions from them as well (you’re 50% more likely to develop migraines if either of your parents experiences them) Recently, evidence has emerged that suggests anxiety may be one more thing that we can get from our parents (and this is clinical anxiety, which is much more than ordinary nervousness that we all experience).
Quit Monkeying Around!
Dr. Ned Kalin and a team of researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison analyzed brain scans of rhesus monkeys and found that the ones that displayed signs of anxiety had a family history showing stress-related symptoms in their brain wave patterns. While the study was complex, the takeaway is that anxious thought patterns may not be merely adult occurrences but can have their roots in one’s genes.
This is groundbreaking, as the cause of anxiety had previously been largely unknown.
While ongoing research is being conducted to say conclusively that anxiety is hereditary, the current evidence can have important implications for us culturally. If it is, in fact true, that individuals may have a genetic disposition to a stress-related illness, there’s a lot we can do, and it all starts with being informed.
Educate Yourself
How much do you really know about anxiety disorders? Many people seem to have a faint understanding but, like many other forms of mental illness, do not have a solid grasp of it. For starters, there are a few different kinds, including phobias, panic disorder, and social anxiety. Individuals who experience anxiety have reported feelings of suffocation, profuse sweating, a choking sensation, and other overwhelming symptoms.
Learn more about anxiety and other related conditions here.
Do Your Mental Family History
It can be difficult to discuss uncomfortable topics (such as mental illness) with family, but you need to know if you are at risk so that you can better manage your own physical and emotional well being. Think of learning about your mental family history as early detection (just as you would with cancer). Ask your parents if they had experiences with anxiety so you can be better equipped to care for yourself.
Take Action
If you find yourself worried to the point that your feelings interfere with your ability to function or engage in meaningful relationships, know that there is help! Reach out to others close to you for support, then be your own advocate in finding a mental health professional with a speciality in working with clients who suffer from anxiety. Trained counselors can teach you ways to redirect negative thought patterns through such strategies as Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy (CBT) and others. They may also refer you to a psychiatrist, who can prescribe anxiety-reducing medications.
While anxiety may never go away completely, you can learn skills to manage it and live a full and meaningful life.

When things don’t go our way, suggestions to simply “think positive!” or “look on the bright side” can come off as trite and irritating. Why even try to be optimistic when going through heartbreak, financial problems, stress, failure, or any other emotional curveballs life throws at us?

One of the challenges of being optimistic is that we are biologically wired to focus on what is negative in order to protect ourselves. It can be much easier to identify when something is off in our lives (because it disrupts our normal routine) than it is to feel at peace when there is no problem or threat. In what social scientist Dennis Prager calls “The Missing Tile Syndrome,” human beings are more prone to see what’s absent or wrong than they are to focus on what’s present or right. So yes, there is certainly justification for a “woe is me” attitude, but I urge you to fight that natural tendency and try out a little optimism. Your soul and body may thank you!

The health benefits of having a generally positive outlook and approach to life are well known: longer life expectancy, higher resistance to illness, more fulfilling relationships, better work productivity, and the list goes on. Think of the people you know who could be called optimists. These individuals are probably well liked, and others usually feel confident and valued in their presence and notice that life is generally more pleasant in their company. The physical, mental, and social implications of optimism are far reaching and significant.

Because positive thinking has so many health and wellness benefits, it’s important to cultivate an attitude of optimism. Are some people just born optimists, whereas others tend more toward negative thoughts and attitudes? No matter what your natural disposition, there are some simple yet powerful steps you can take to increase your optimism. Here are a few suggestions:

Allow Yourself to Experience Disappointment

This may seem counterintuitive initially; optimism is about being happy, right? Yes, but being optimistic doesn’t mean you are naïve to reality or denying painful emotions. In fact, a good number of people who are generally sad or who may be thought of as “downers” are that way because they haven’t properly processed difficult experiences. Give yourself permission to grieve your losses. Neil Pasricha, author of the Webby Award–winning blog “1000 Awesome Things,” said, “Don’t force yourself out of the dark spots. Let them be dark, just remind yourself that there are good spots at the end.”

Use Failures and Mistakes as Learning Opportunities

One of the hallmarks of optimists is that they are resilient to hardship and are effectively able to recover or bounce back. Every experience can teach you a valuable lesson, and I’d venture to say that we learn more from our failures than we do from our successes. Winston Churchill is quoted as saying, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Spend Time With the Right People

You can tell a lot about someone by the people they choose as close friends. Are the people you spend time with always complaining, insulting others, gossiping, and emphasizing all that is wrong in the world? There is certainly a lot to say about all the problems we face, and there is a time and place to voice these complaints, but chronic negative talk is exhausting. Constant negativity can dampen your spirit, especially if you’re already feeling low or carrying a heavy burden. Look for people who energize, motivate, and inspire you. Even if you find yourself in unavoidable situations with negative people (like at work), seek out a church leader, family member, or neighbor you know you can trust as an ally.

Count Your Blessings

It’s amazing how simply identifying the positive, beautiful things in our lives can bring light to dark days. Do you have a college degree? What freedoms do you enjoy? Are you in a stable relationship? Is your body in good health? These are just a few questions to ask yourself that may yield positive results to help you realize just how good you’ve got it. Consider starting a gratitude journal so you can remember and reflect on your blessings.

Unplug for a Bit

Reading about current events is a surefire way to be reminded of troubles in the world. I am not suggesting that you cut yourself off from reality to shield yourself from pain. But in our tech age, it’s very possible to overload your mind and spirit with bad news. If you find that you’re feeling weighed down by these influences, limit the amount of time you spend on certain websites or publications; it’s okay to tune out some of the sad stuff.

How has being optimist helped you? What actions can you take to become more optimistic?

NOTE: If you find that dark, pessimistic thoughts are interfering with your ability to function or lead a normal life, a trained mental health professional can help you. If your feelings are overwhelming or debilitating to the point that you’ve considered suicide, seek help immediately.

Mindfulness is a topic that has received a lot of attention from psychology and wellness gurus in recent years. It refers to being present in the moment and cultivating an awareness, non-judgment, and acceptance of one’s feelings, thoughts, and body. There are numerous benefits of mindfulness; those who regularly engage in meditative mindfulness practices report reduced stress, better sleep, improved productivity, lower levels of stress and bodily discomfort and pain, and even weight loss.
With all the perks of mindfulness, it only makes sense to introduce this concept and practice to young people, particularly because adolescence can be an anxious and uncomfortable experience for many children and teenagers (this idea seems to be catching on; some are even introducing mindfulness into school curriculums, and certain gyms offer classes of yoga specifically for children!)
By teaching them how to get in touch with their feelings, we can help them prepare for a lifetime of mental and emotional wellness. Here are some ideas to help children practice mindfulness on a daily basis:
Ensure They Get Enough Physical Activity
Growing kids need exercise to develop and learn, and they’ll have a very difficult time being mindful if they are squirming and itching to move or if they’re sedentary and feeling sluggish. Set limits on screen time, have them turn off the Nintendo, and help them find ways to get the wiggles out (swimming in particular can wear out even the most energetic child). Getting enough physical activity will help prepare them to tune in to their feelings and focus during mindfulness exercises.
Play Mindfulness Games
Take advantage of children’s natural curiosity and their love of fun by making mindfulness into a game! One activity known as “Listen to the Bell” helps them focus their attention on their sense of sound. Ring a bell, chimes, or even use an internet site to virtually simulate a bell, then have them listen carefully and raise their hand when they can’t hear the ring any longer. Another game is “Breathing Buddy,” where a child lies on his/her back, places a stuffed animal on his/her chest, and watches it rise and fall. This helps them to become better aware of their breathing and encourages to take deep and meaningful breaths.
Keep It Simple
When introducing and experimenting with mindfulness activities with kids, make sure you don’t overdo it. No need to make a long speech about how great it is (though you may want to tell them a bit about the benefits) or try out elaborate practices. Keep in mind the attention span of young children; they may not be up for a 45 minute long guided imagery session. Additionally, have reasonable expectations; though it may help them relax and become better aware of themselves, mindfulness is likely not a cure-all for all difficulties.
Lead By Example
And finally, don’t overlook the importance of teaching kids the importance of mindfulness by regularly practicing it yourself!
Not only can this help you to be happier and more focused, but it can provide a powerful example for children about ways to handle stress or disappointment. Knowing that you as their parent sometimes need a little break to relax or meditate (or even occasionally catching a glimpse of you in a lotus pose!) helps reinforce to them that meditation can be a simple, regular practice to incorporate in one’s daily routine.
Use these simple techniques to help children get in touch with their emotions, senses, and spirits and help prepare them for a lifetime of emotional wellness.

You’ve probably heard Taylor Swift’s chart-topping “Bad Blood” about a thousand times at this point — but interestingly, although she’s known for penning post-breakup hits, this track is not about a man.

“Bad Blood” is reportedly about fellow performer Katy Perry. Taylor wrote the song after Katy allegedly stole her backup dancers. After the record dropped, Katy tweeted, “Watch out for Regina George in sheep’s clothing…” a reference to the 2004 hit film, Mean Girls.

In the age of Twitter, we’re able to see these “mean girl” feuds play out in real time — and it’s not the first time two big-name female celebs have been involved in passive-aggressive fighting on the platform.

Taylor Swift misunderstood Nicki Minaj’s tweets about missing out on a nod for Video of the Year at the MTV VMAs, assuming they were directed at her in some fashion. “I’ve done nothing but love & support you,” Swift wrote to Minaj. “It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot.” Nicki shot back that her tweets were actually about a lack of diversity in those rewarded for their work in the music industry, not about Swift — who had to eat her words and apologize to the “Anaconda” singer.

Katy Perry then chimed in with a tweet to her followers: “Finding it ironic to parade the pit women against other women argument about as one unmeasurably capitalizes on the take down of a woman…” Camilla Belle then tweeted, “Couldn’t have said it better…” in response to Perry. Her connection? Taylor reportedly penned a song about Belle, too — the track “Better Than Revenge” resulted after Joe Jonas dumped Taylor and paired off with Camilla.

Notice a pattern?

No one seems to be addressing their conflicts directly, but rather brewing toxic words behind closed doors — and making videos like Swift’s “Bad Blood,” featuring one girl squad taking up arms to fight another. “I don’t get the violence revenge thing,” Miley Cyrus confessed to Marie Claire. “That’s supposed to be a good example?”

Cyrus has got a point. Women in Hollywood are engaging in a very public form of passive-aggressive fighting, which is not a good example — and something women do all too frequently.

Passive-aggression can take many forms, but ultimately, it’s when you feel anger toward a specific person or group — but instead of addressing the problem in a straightforward manner, you might show sneaky resentment with cryptic remarks, sulking behavior, or withholding affection or kind words due to a perceived slight. This typically frustrates and confuses the recipient of the attacks; while they sense something is wrong, nothing about a passive-aggressive person’s behavior points to what exactly they’re upset about.

Sure, men do sometimes engage in passive-aggressive behaviors. But those are learned. Men are hard-wired to address conflicts directly with physical attacks or strong words. Passive-aggression is typically reserved for female-on-female fighting, confirmed with a 1994 study.

According to a pair of 2013 studies, women evolved to use sneaky tactics to take down other members of their sex and reduce competition: “To safeguard their health over a lifetime, girls use competitive strategies that reduce the probability of physical retaliation, including avoiding direct interference with another girl’s goals and disguising their striving for physical resources, alliances and status,” Emmanuel College psychology professor Joyce F. Benenson wrote in her study. “The development of human female competition: allies and adversaries.”

She continues: “Within the female community, girls reduce competition by demanding equality and punishing those who openly attempt to attain more than others.”

Passive-aggression is still a 21st-century problem

Our ancestors were passive-aggressive. But just because women aren’t fighting for men and resources as a means of survival doesn’t mean passive-aggression has basically died off. Case in point: Swift vs. Perry in a “Bad Blood” battle over backup dancers.

And this behavior is detrimental. According to psychiatrist Dean Burnett, PhD, an expert in neuroscience, “The brain doesn’t deal well with ambiguity or uncertainty; like with cognitive dissonance, acceptable’ behaviour combined with the hostile effects/mannerism causes mental distress and discomfort,” he writes in The Guardian. “With passive-aggressive behaviour the appropriate response is impossible to work out for certain, causing even more distress and frustration.”

What does this mean? Both parties are brewing in toxic energy. All. The. Time. One woman is angry or upset, refusing to clear the air with the person she’s perceived has wronged her; the other is confused and uncomfortable as her ‘friend’ (a.k.a. frenemy) launches unspoken grenades at her. Notably, this behavior is ultra-common in the workplace, where competition and tension are common — and it’s all very stressful.

While some mild daily stress is normal, hearty doses of chronic stress is not. It’s hugely detrimental for our bodies, according to Diane Robinson, PhD, a neuropsychologist at UF Health Cancer Center – Orlando Health. “Stress day in and day out, on end, can change the brain chemistry,” she once told me, “and it has huge implications for our immune systems.”

When your body is under daily stress, the cytokines that send messages throughout your body begin to overwork, flood your system and send mixed signals. The result? It can be Crohn’s disease, shingles, depression, IBS, insomnia… the list goes on.

So, don’t make like these Hollywood girls, fighting on Twitter and launching indirect attacks. Nix passive-aggression and get assertive instead. If a co-worker gives your boss a progress report about your project, and earns all the praise, don’t give into your baser instincts. Say, “Next time, I’d appreciate it if you waited for me to share our work with the boss.” If a friend seems to be throwing mental daggers at you? Speak up. “It seems like you’re upset with me. Did I do something wrong?”

By learning to get assertive with friends, co-workers, relationship partners (whoever), you bring all conflict out in the open so you can address it directly. You disarm your adversary, clearly seeking to bridge the gap kee
ping you both from peace.

And then you can move on, instead of wading out into the toxic waters of chronic stress. It’s important for a healthy mind and body.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wake up completely miserable? I’m not talking about getting up on the wrong side of the bed (whatever that means), or simply being in a bad mood. This is a deeply rooted feeling that is not only unshakeable, but also extremely painful.

Trying to shift your mood feels impossible. It’s like your strapped into a roller coaster being pulled along for the ride without any option of getting off. All around you the world continues to function yet you don’t want to get out of bed.

If you’re saying “WHAT? I’ve never felt like this” than call yourself lucky and stop reading.

If you know what I’m talking about then these are the moments, days, and even months of life where nothing you read, do or think can shift how you feel. It’s like a bout of nausea that you have to just let take its course while suffering through the discomfort until it passes.

I had one of these days recently. I hated everyone and everything, wanted to run away to somewhere remote or to hole up in my house without any contact. Dealing with people and facing life felt impossible, but somehow I survived and made it through. I wish I could tell you that I had some magic secret about how I endured this excruciating period of time, but the truth is that there are just some feelings and intrapersonal experiences that you have to just live through.

The culture at large would like you to believe that you can always fix your feelings. Just change your perspective, exercise, meditate, pray, dance, journal…the list goes on and on when it comes to prescriptions that will surely heal what ails you. If you ask any person who has felt this low what helps the least they’ll tell you that it’s the insensitive yet well meaning comments from the people around them.

“Just get some fresh air or exercise.”

“Watch a funny movie and forget about it.”

“Stay busy with work so you feel productive.”

“Volunteer to give yourself perspective.”

It’s my experience that the only option when the world goes this dark is to accept that it’s happening. This doesn’t mean not reaching out of for help or making attempts at easing the pain, but fully embracing the magnitude of your misery is the most efficient way to reduce suffering.

Buddhist teachings tell us that pain is an inevitable part of life and being human, and that most suffering is self-inflicted by the person trying to grapple with that pain. We make things worse for ourselves by trying to resist what’s happening and by pushing the feelings down with unhealthy coping mechanisms like work, alcohol or food.

The path of acceptance is not for the faint of heart when it comes to emotional pain. Resilience and tolerance definitely play a part, but even the most challenging situations pass with time and patience. As assuredly as the weather, something always shifts for your emotional pain to change course.

One of the hardest things to do when you feel out of control with your feelings is to trust them to be your best guide. Your emotions are what push you to seek help, reach out to others, and to recognize that something is off in your life.

Here are a few examples of what your darkest moments are telling you:

Go Retreat

When you’re feeling down it’s pretty likely that you’ll want to be alone. Isolating is a natural response when you aren’t in the best place for socializing or connecting with other people. The drive to retreat is protective because you’re vulnerable and fragile when your emotions are driving the ship. Listening to what you’re wanting leads you to what you’re needing so don’t try to convince yourself that it’s better to go out. This isn’t always the best solution.

Cry Your Eyes Out

Tears (not unlike sweat) are a natural release of toxins from the body. We are the only species to shed emotional tears that are directly connected to certain regions of the brain associated with our emotional life. As a culture we learn to “wipe away” our tears as if they are something to stop, but in truth crying is a beautiful way to process emotions and to reduce the stress that comes with built up feelings.

Reach For Help

We’ve all had that moment where we reach for the phone to call our go to person when things fall apart. It’s a natural instinct to cry out for help when things get rough, but instead we tell ourselves that we should be strong enough to handle our own stuff. This is just a form of denial and a tough love behavior you learned early on. Leaning on others in a time of need is natural and essential for anyone tangled up in blue.

The practice of sitting with pain long enough to see if it will pass, and reaching for help when you know it can’t be done alone are the keys to getting through some of the darkest days of your life. Learn to trust and honor your feelings in the same way you would trust someone else to tell you what to do.

No one knows your internal world better than you, and if a visit from your feelings feels like a stranger breaking into your house learn to make peace with them because they mean no harm.

Social Media, the place where we spend most of our time, has become what some might call a necessary evil. Most of us have a love hate relationship with Facebook. I know that I fluctuate regularly between canceling my account and feeling like I can’t stop checking it. In fact the only way I can truly get a break from the social media site is to shut down my gadgets and abstain for an extended period of time. The reality is that we are weak to resisting something that feels all at once so good and so bad.

The real question is how detrimental, if at all, is Facebook for our mental health?

Apparently this is a popular query because with over 900 million users worldwide, Facebook has become a very popular research topic. Studies have confirmed that using Facebook can be harmful to your self-esteem, your love relationships, and that it can cause psychological distress. While there isn’t much research out there countering these findings, there are plenty of blogs listing the possible benefits of using Facebook as a form of connection particularly for lonely or isolated individuals.

I think we’ve all accepted that fighting the behemoth known as Facebook is futile. It’s made its mark on our psyches and in our lives so we better learn how and when to include or exclude it. It’s up to us to be our own moderators of how much we use or don’t use it as part of our lives.

What we need to realize is that what we have with Facebook is a relationship, and like all relationships we get triggered by the things we see and hear. Going into each Facebook encounter with this in mind will help reduce the reactive response of wanting to reject or over consume it at any given time.

We need to take full responsibility for how the website affects us and our lives and the best way to do this is through education and self-reflection around our own Facebook usage and habits.

Pros and cons

In a world where being liked has become more of a question of livelihood than popularity, the social world of Facebook can either make you or break you.

Facebook can definitely have its pros and cons. If used at the wrong time or for the wrong purposes it can be extremely damaging and problematic. In the past Facebook has seen it’s share of cyber-bullying, and it has also contributed to bouts of jealousy when a new relationship gets splattered on the page of a recently heartbroken ex lover.

It has been highly problematic for younger adolescents who don’t have the social or emotional development to practice healthy Facebook habits, and who lack the self-confidence to withstand the onslaught of simple lives made to look fancy. For these kids an unliked post is the equivalent of getting a wedgie in the locker room.

Then there are examples of positive psychological effects when Facebook is used to revive and preserve relationships with old and new friends. It can also be a way to connect with other like-minded people who share the same passions and values. This kind of connection can empower and engage groups of people to promote social change and justice.

Old flames have been rekindled, and family members and friends have been reunited using the technology of Facebook. People who may have never connected are suddenly engaged in a way that would not have been possible without the social aspect of the site.

Fit or Flop

Facebook is a fit, and this is particularly true because there are no signs that it’s going away any time soon. As long as we are mindful and wise about how and when we use it, Facebook offers many great opportunities for connection and social advancement for our species. Social media has brought our world closer in many ways and this is something our disenfranchised communities need.

People with low self-esteem or who are vulnerable due to circumstance or age should use it sparingly and mindfully. Facebook is least detrimental when the user has a strong sense of self and ego because of the strong tendency it invokes toward comparison and self-judgment.

In a world where we are becoming more and more disconnected and working longer hours alone in an office, a website like Facebook offers a reprieve from loneliness and isolation. While it’s not a replacement for real human contact it can definitely provide a temporary experience of feeling a sense of belonging.

Have you ever lost your cool when you were hungry? You turned from angel to devil in the blink of an eye. You couldn’t imagine ever getting out of such a terrible mood, but then you took a bite of a sandwich, or maybe you munched on an apple or a bag of pretzels. Whatever it was, you magically felt better, like a weight had been lifted off you and you could finally smile and breathe again. Your friend says jokingly, “God, Jen, why’d you have to get so hangry?”

Hangry? Yes, hangry. Hangry is the new term blending both hungry and angry into a cute little package. It seems funny to joke about being hangry, and it also feels vaguely like an excuse. I mean, you can control snapping at your partner when you’re a little hungry, right? But alas, the hangry phenomenon is actually scientifically proven. Although scientists probably wouldn’t use the term hangry, it does get the point across.   

What Makes You Hangry?

The biggest factor to the “hangers” is your blood glucose levels. Medical researcher Amanda Salis has written a hefty article breaking down all the effects. “The carbohydrates, proteins and fats in everything you eat are digested into simple sugars (such as glucose), amino acids, and free fatty acids. These nutrients pass into your bloodstream from where they are distributed to your organs and tissues and used for energy.” So basically, everything you eat performs some function in the body (Salis).

Over time, all of the energy that you’ve digested is used. Whether you are riding your bike or journaling, little by little all of those nutrients are going to be sucked away. Glucose is your primary energy source, so it’s only logical that when there is an absence of glucose your body will go into life-or-death mode. Six hours is all it takes for your glucose levels to become depleted, and that’s when you begin to feel that angry and annoyed sensation (Bushak).

In addition to being your main source for energy, glucose is crucial for the operation of your brain. You’ll notice that you become muddled, slower at work, drop things, and are just not yourself. Some people have even noticed a sensation where their words are slightly slurred. Basically, simple things become that much harder. This is why we have a tendency to snap at friends and family–people we are close to–because being pleasant requires effort and our energy and resources have been depleted.

If you thought having a low energy supply was bad, how about adding this onto your current hangry state? When glucose levels are dwindling, four hormones are released, one of them being adrenaline. Scientists believe that adrenaline is released as a survival measure. If all organisms passively let others eat before them then there would be many extinct creatures. So when you’re feeling a little grumbly about missing your afternoon snack, know that there’s a very logical cause: Your body is worried about where its next food will come from. You’re in survival mode, and your friends don’t stand a chance.

So Is It All Glucose’s Fault?

All we’ve been hearing is glucose, glucose, glucose. Is there anything else that’s affected by your lack of nutrients? Well yes, as a matter of fact. Many people who suffer from depression and other ailments are believed to have low serotonin levels, thus doctors will prescribe medications that boost this chemical. But did you know that serotonin is released when we eat? So, when we don’t eat, guess what happens? Yep, we get angry. Many people assume that most people eat for pleasure, which is true to some extent.

Think back. When was the last time you were truly hungry? You hadn’t eaten for hours and you would’ve given anything for a little scrap of food. You see people around you eating and what are you feeling? Anxiety, frustration, irritation, and quite frankly, you’ve become emotional. The longer you deny your body food, the hangrier you’ll get. When you eat, the feeling of pleasure rushes through you, and some mistake this for happiness. In reality, serotonin is being released, which automatically boosts your mood. Clearly, the body’s processes are interconnected. We may not think that our brain is linked to our digestive tract, but it is (Currie).

How To Fight The Hangers

Snacks. The only way to prevent feeling hangry is to keep yourself properly nourished. Having small intermittent snacks throughout the day will keep your hunger at bay. There have been countless articles discussing the benefits of multiple small meals a day: boosting metabolism, producing energy, and staving off fatigue are just a few of the advantages.

So next time you feel your mood plummeting, grab some food. Not only will you save yourself frustration, but you’ll probably save some relationships as well! 

As human beings we spend 90% of our time indoors. As a result we have become completely disconnected from what would be considered our “natural habitat” leaving us sick, tired, depressed and stressed out.

While diet, exercise and spending time with friends have all been shown to improve wellbeing the one place we forget to turn to for healing is outside. More and more research is supporting the healing effects that the outer landscape can have on our inner landscape, and the importance of returning to nature as a place of reprieve and recovery.

Ask yourself these questions:

When was the last time you felt deeply connected to nature?

When did you most recently feel connected to something sacred? Do you make a conscious effort to get outside every day?

Most of us would be surprised to find how little time we spend even thinking about the importance of nature in our lives let alone the minimal amount of time we spend in it.

Research in the fields of Nature Therapy, Eco-Therapy and Green Therapy reveals that the environment can impact your body and overall wellbeing through the effects that it has on your nervous, endocrine and immunes systems. By studying the human-nature relationship, experts in these fields are concluding more and more that nature is an untapped resource that improves mood and many other states of being that reduce happiness.

If you are living or working in an unpleasant environment you will feel anxious, sad or helpless which in turn elevates your blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension while suppressing your immune system. A pleasing environment reverses that effect, and actually improves your health overall.

If you think about how differently you feel when walking through a park as compared to how you feel on a busy street you’ll realize that the environment profoundly impacts how you feel.

Pros and Cons

As human beings we are social creatures and we’re evolutionarily designed to live as part of nature. We have an inherent ecological wisdom that is wired into our cells so it’s absolutely in our best interest to spend as much time outdoors communing with the natural world as possible.

It’s unnatural to live so separate from something we are so inherently close to. It’s no wonder that as a culture we so often feel disconnected and alone much of the time.

While there is no downside to allowing the natural elements to infuse you with optimal health and wellbeing you may not be in striking distance or close enough to a natural setting to reap the full benefits.

When you live in a concrete jungle it becomes harder to access the prescription of nature, which makes popping a pill seem way easier and faster.

The good news for you is that the research being done in the fields of nature therapy have shown that creating an indoor landscape, or simply looking out at nature through a window has the same effects. In fact patients recovering from surgery have been studied and shown to heal faster when they are facing a window with a view of nature. Even having a plant in a room can have a significant impact on stress and anxiety.

Don’t forget that some of the interactions you have with nature may not seem like they’re healing, but they are. When you feel the freedom and relaxation that comes with gardening, the calm that comes over you when you cuddle with your pet, or when you look up at a tree on a busy urban street you’re connecting with nature.

Fit or Flop

Healing through nature is a definite fit. At a minimum nature is an adjunct to traditional medicine, and at a maximum a replacement for medication. As we become more and more industrialized we move further and further away from our natural needs to be in nature. Making time every day to spend a few moments with reconnected with your natural world will definitely shift your mind and body toward a higher state of wellbeing.

When time doesn’t permit the real thing you can watch a video, listen to nature sounds, spend a few minutes in natural sunlight or look through a nature magazine. The main goal is to reconnect to something sacred or indigenous, and to create a sense of connection with something greater.

It’s important to remember that we cannot utilize nature as a resource without giving back. Relationships are reciprocal and that includes the one we build with our natural environments.

Using nature as a resource for our own benefit is exactly why we see it disappearing every day. You must always show the respect, admiration and awe that nature deserves and we must ingest its beauty with the intention of giving back to the world what we receive.

There’s a crusade happening, but if you’ve spent the last five years beating yourself up for every mistake, failure, or imperfection, then you probably don’t know about it.

Self-compassion is the newest form of healing to come out of the modern new-age self-help movement. Being kind to yourself and treating yourself like you would a good friend has become the recommended prescription for many mental health ailments and for improving relationships with others. There are self-compassion workshops, workbooks, and even institutes popping up all around the world dedicated to helping people learn how to stop self-flagellating and start self-soothing.

Self-compassion, according to the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, is responding to difficult thoughts and feelings with kindness, sympathy, and understanding so that you soothe and comfort yourself when you’re hurting. Research done by Kristin Neff, PhD has shown that self-compassion greatly enhances emotional well-being, boosts happiness, reduces anxiety and depression, and can even help maintain healthy lifestyle habits such as diet and exercise.

Compassion–the human quality that motivates people to go out of their way to help heal the physical, spiritual, or emotional hurts or pains of another–is by no means a new concept. The practice of compassion has lived in the texts of Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism, and Christianity for centuries, and spiritual leaders such as Gandhi and the Dalai Lama have delivered the message of its healing powers.

Compassion is also not new to the field of psychology. Noted psychologist Carl Rogers talked about “unconditional positive regard.” Another American psychologist, Albert Ellis, introduced the notion of “unconditional self-acceptance”–both of which are intended to ease the suffering caused by a masochistic self. Self-compassion, or self-kindness, is an extension of compassion directed toward the self. It’s not the same as self-pity, and it has different effects from self-esteem.

We all know that it’s generally pretty easy to show compassion to other people. A friend goes through a breakup and you tell her to do something nice for herself. Your child gets bullied at school so you take him out for ice cream and tell him he deserves better. When it comes to self-application, however, the practice of compassion becomes much harder.

I don’t know about you, but I find it crazy that I have to learn how to be nice to myself, but at the same time there are days where I certainly wouldn’t want to be the jury if I were the judge.

Pros And Cons

In a culture where we’re driven to go beyond our limits and aspire to unrealistic goals, a moment of self-kindness can go a long way. We also live in a world where perfectionism has become an epidemic and where doing more has become a disease. Self-compassion can ease the pain and suffering that comes with trying to live up to unachievable standards, and it offers a brief reprieve from daily stress.

Do know, however, that it is possible to misuse self-compassion.

Sometimes our most painful emotions are the greatest teachers, and the lessons can only come through suffering. For example, when it comes to an emotion like healthy guilt, applying too much self-compassion may block an opportunity for the learning and understanding that can come from this powerful emotion. Guilt is a challenging emotion to tolerate, so trying to make it “go away” is common. When you read about how self-compassion can mitigate painful feelings you may tell yourself that it’s okay to not feel guilty, when in fact your guilt is the driving force behind the important act of making amends. Letting yourself “off the hook” or making excuses is not the same as practicing self-compassion.

If you’ve hurt someone (even unintentionally) it’s important to heal that rupture for both you and the victim. If you let the guilt go too quickly you could miss an opportunity for this repair and leave the other person feeling unresolved or unable to forgive. Self-compassion shouldn’t be used to erase or replace feelings; it’s a balm that should be applied liberally to ease the pain and the unnecessary suffering that comes from being critical or judgmental of the self.

Fit Or Flop

Self-compassion is a definite fit. Being kind to yourself is not only a commonsense practice, but it’s been shown in research to help with several issues and ailments. Learning to be less self-critical and become more self-forgiving offers both immediate effects and long-lasting benefits.

Don’t expect self-compassion to be a fix-all however, and it shouldn’t be used as a replacement for professional support. This is particularly true with more serious symptoms of depression or anxiety.

Also be mindful of not letting your self-compassion backfire by allowing it to become the source of more suffering. It’s important to remember that even though you can take a workshop or “learn” self-compassion, there are no hard and fast rules for a right way to do it. Like all practices, the more you do it the easier it gets. Not unlike the practice of gratitude and positive thinking, self-compassion should be used as an adjunct to deeper work. Although it offers relief it doesn’t access underlying issues that will continue to surface without the proper treatment.