Category: Wellbeing

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Wellbeing

Get a Ph.D. In Your Emotional Life

When I first went back to graduate school to get my Ph.D., I worried about my ability to perform, and whether I was smart enough to take on that kind of education. I spent quite a bit of my young adult life feeling stupid, and conditioning myself into believing that I just wasn’t a smart person. As a result, my self-confidence suffered, and I just wasn’t sure if I had what it would take to get the degree I really wanted.

After one brief semester of graduate school, I learned that I had something very special that I had never acknowledged as being valuable or useful.

As I began learning about emotional life, and how affected we all are by our life experiences, I quickly realized that I was jam packed with a kind of knowledge that was much more powerful than anything I could ever learn in a book. I was storing a huge amount of untapped wisdom that I had been unknowingly collecting my entire life.

As I sifted through the mud that had been layered on top of my inner world, I began to uncover the valuable nuggets of emotional wisdom that had remained dormant for so long.

Like a tumbleweed gathering debris as it rolls, you have been collecting emotional experiences and pieces of wisdom throughout your life. Each experience you have fills you up in the same way your brain absorbs information from a book. Everything that happens to you provides the opportunity for wisdom, and a deeper understanding of the self. The effort and ability to understand your feelings and the impact of your life experiences increases your emotional intelligence, and ultimately makes you wiser.

In your daily life you probably ignore your feelings. Whether it’s due to a lack of awareness or a need to repress what you don’t want to feel, you’re missing out on some very important information that you need for success in your life.

What you feel is directly correlated with how you behave. If you’re not in tune with your emotional life, than you’re at risk of irrationally reacting to others and living only your partial truth. Your feelings offer an incredible amount of information.

If you feel unappreciated at work, this emotion might be sending you the data you need to set some firmer boundaries or that you need to re-evaluate where you are in your career. If you feel lonely or distant from your partner, then you may want to listen to your emotions and get under the hood of your relationship to figure out what’s going on.

In the same way your receive physical signs and symptoms from your physical body that alert you to something being off, your attunement to your emotional symptoms will help you take care of yourself and tend to issues before they become problematic. If you’re disconnected from your emotional life this doesn’t mean there’s a deficit in you; it’s a deficiency in your emotional development.

You first learned about your feelings when you were very small. If you were lucky enough to grow up with sensitive and emotionally aware parents, then you would have had the good fortune to have your feelings accurately reflected back to you. This would mean that when you felt angry and threw a toy, someone was on hand to label that emotion for you so you could learn to identify it in the future.  Or when you felt sad, someone was available to hold you and affirm that the feeling was real and valid so that when it surfaced again you would know that it was a valuable communication from your own body.

Reversely, if you grew up in an environment where emotions were undervalued, then your fluidity in the language of feeling would have become limited. You were wired and born to feel, but the ability to make sense of those feelings depended on the skill of your teachers.

As you live in the world today you can become more intimately acquainted with your emotional life in many ways.

I encourage a three-step process that lays the foundation for tapping into your inner emotional wisdom.

1.     Become Curious

The beginning of any learning has to start with an open mind, and a natural curiosity. Maintaining a childlike wonderment about your feelings will allow you to relate to your emotional life more compassionately. As you develop a greater interest in yourself, and what drives your experience of the world, you’ll increase your emotional intelligence and you’ll begin to feel more empowered to deal with life’s challenges.

2.     Deep Dive

In the same way there is a whole world of life living under the ocean waters, your emotional life lurks beneath your consciousness. You’ll get bits and pieces of it as feelings get triggered and rise to the surface when activated, but the greater bounty will require you to dig and dive deeper into the unknown. This happens in therapy or through working with a guide who can safely take you where you need to go.

3.     Add Vocals

Your emotions are a symphony and you have to put voice to the music. Labeling your feelings and expressing them verbally when they surface is an important part of this process.  Even the most primitive and fundamental emotions like anger and joy are hard to express when they have never been verbally acknowledged. You were born crying because you are evolutionarily wired to verbally express yourself. As you become more comfortable with verbal expression you come to realize that it’s easier to get your needs met by others, and that you feel a deeper sense of intimacy in your life.

This kind of self-exploration isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes courage and strength to look inward with such intensity, but the payoff is a greater sense of wholeness and authenticity. Earning your degree in emotional intelligence will be the best investment you ever make.

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Wellbeing

Easy Steps To 'Zen' Your Move

There’s nothing quite as overwhelming as living out of a box. You’re looking for a fork and instead find the sandal that’s been missing for days. You’re wanting to make dinner but the only cooking item you find is a beater and spoon; not too helpful. MOVING…that dreaded word that holds excitement and anxiety in one.

Moving is exciting, but it’s also incredibly stressful and exhausting. However, my friend recently went through a move, and I never even knew it. There were no espresso IV drips, no crying phone calls, and no rumpled outfits in sight. What was her secret? Goal-setting, organization, and a little bit of zen.

This sounds simple enough, but we all know how easy it is to get derailed. Luckily using some of these tried and true strategies can assist you in not only coping, but avoiding the typical unpleasantness that’s usually partnered with your big move.

Switch Over Bills And Subscriptions

It’s tempting to put the busy work off until the last minute or even for when you’ve already moved, but this can be incredibly detrimental. Not only for your finances but for your mental health as well. You can do this as early as a month before your move-in date. Go to the post office and submit a forwarding address, and begin making phone calls to your credit card company, utilities office, and any other offices where you need to submit your new location.

Pack At Least A Week Before

I hope you’ve been collecting those boxes because now’s the time when you’re going to need to cash in. Go room by room, each day after work, and pack up all of your items; labeling has never been more important. If you make sure that each box is clearly titled then this could very well be your easiest move yet.

Ask For Help

Moving day is stressful, and it’s even more bothersome when you’re encumbered with the entire move yourself. Seek out help, whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers. Not only will it speed up the process, but it can help prevent injury as well.

Stay Hydrated & Fit

It’s crucial to maintain your health whether it’s the weeks before, during, or after your transition. Fast food and soda may seem like the answer, but that’s one of the worst things you could do to yourself. Although proper nutrition and exercise may seem tedious, it’s wildly beneficial. Exercise has been given increasing credence for reducing stress. So guzzle down that water while you’re lifting heavy boxes, and even though you may be exhausted, going for a light jog will remove you from your chaotic mess and assist you in coping.

Unpack One Room At A Time

Containing a mess is preferable. When you focus your energy on one space at a time you’ll feel more accomplished and not so overwhelmed. That sense of relief when your kitchen is finally organized and ready for the next Rachel Ray meal is amazing, and can easily be attained if you’re not flitting about your space frantically trying to unpack.

Find Your Zen Space

Sometimes you’re just not going to be able to handle the mess and stress of your new move, and that’s okay. If you have an established place that provides you with serenity, now would be the time to indulge. Go to your favorite yoga studio, traipse through the park, or just go for a drive. Whatever it is, make sure that it’s something you’re comfortable with because when you’re going through change the best resource is something that’s familiar.

Change is stressful and leaving your comfort-zone is doubly so. But if you’re organized, ask for support, and take care of yourself this move could possibly be your best one yet.

Good luck!

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Wellbeing

What To Do When Weight Creeps Up on Your Teen

Let’s face it.  Puberty is a messy, awkward, embarrassing roller-coaster of body changes and hormone induced emotional turmoil.  As difficult as it can be to parent a teenager, it is easy to forget how hard it is to BE a teenager – especially a teenager struggling with his or her weight.

Weight gain for most kids going through puberty is natural, but society tells both parents and kids that it isn’t okay.  Girls especially can gain a layer of fat all over the body before blossoming into curves.  Natural hormonal changes transform teen’s metabolism so that a kid who once was able to eat anything, suddenly is gaining weight without changing any eating habits.  To complicate matters further, the adolescent years are when kids are making more and more food decisions on their own.  All of these factors can cause a teen’s weight to creep up.  In our family, we have one teen daughter who can eat anything, but her twin sister can look at a cupcake and gain weight.

These natural body differences can make teens who do gain weight feel embarrassed and even ashamed.

Open communication with a hormonal teenager can be difficult, but taking this subject head on is the key. Healthy eating habits are always important, but if a teen is overweight after their growth spurt ends (typically age 14 for girls and 16 for boys) or were overweight before their growth spurt, it is probably time to be concerned.  Talking with your teen during the growth spurt and creating a healthy environment at home will support healthy habits and a teen’s positive self image.

Here are some questions to start a healthy dialogue about food and weight:

“Isn’t it amazing how one person’s body can be so different from another?”

Be honest.

Yes, it is totally unfair that your friend, sister, brother, or parent can eat junk food all day and have clear skin and never gain an ounce. Listen to what your teen has to say about his or her own body issues.  Make sure your teen understands that weight gain in puberty is a natural. Each person’s body is different.  Our metabolisms are different and change over time.  Judging yourself against someone else, or an airbrushed image in the media isn’t healthy.  Remind your teen that appearance isn’t what is important, being healthy is the key. We all need to figure out what our individual bodies need to be healthy.

“Do your friends talk about going on a diet?”

Diet is a four-letter word in our household.  Being healthy and managing weight are both lifelong commitments, not something that can be “fixed” with a temporary solution.  Diets, particularly restrictive diets, in the teen years set kids up for a lifetime of weight yo-yoing, which is anything but healthy.  Help your teen understand that developing habits of eating nutritious foods most of the time and enjoying periodic treats is essential. We all need to find our own body’s natural equilibrium. How much healthy food do we need to eat, how much do we need to move, how many treats can we have, and maintain a healthy body?  What makes this particularly difficult, however, is that given the choice between chips and veggies, most kids are going to choose the chips.  Food manufactures design junk food to trigger the pleasure centers in the brain and make us want more. In our own school cafeteria, kids are offered multiple kinds of chips and sweets, but only one or two choices of fruits or vegetables.  Being restrictive about food, counting calories, or having a bunch of rules or “nevers” (you can never have chips, never have soda, never have candy) sets your teen up for rebellion.  Don’t make food your battle ground.

The best strategy to support healthy eating habits is often to create an environment at home.

“What are your biggest temptations, and how can I help you enjoy them periodically?”

Creating a supportive and healthy environment at home is essential for teens developing life-long healthy habits.  For example, one of my daughters loves to bake.  We don’t want to squelch her creativity, but none of us needs the temptation of baked goods.  Now, I ask her what she plans to do with the items she bakes.  As long as there is a plan for the goodies leaving the house, the answer is yes to baking.  Ask what your treat your teen loves to eat.  If it is chips, perhaps that is something you purchase periodically, rather than keeping a supply in the cupboard.  Removing the temptation at home can make a big difference and there is always ample opportunity for treats away from home.  Creating a temptation-free zone at home could not only improve the health of the teen, but also the whole family.  In addition, families who eat at least one meal together tend to be healthier and have better relationships.  Making at least one healthy and delicious meal per day (it doesn’t have to be dinner), and enjoying it together without interruption by phones, television, or other electronic gadgets can positively impact health and family communication.

“Would you go for a walk with me?”

Leading by healthy example may be the best way to help your teen navigate creating their own healthy lifestyle.  While it is important to be honest and open, you may want to think hard about the messages you send your kids.  Both my husband and I talk about the amount of exercise we need to do to be healthy and are careful not to be judgmental about our daughters’ activity levels.  Inviting them to join us, or providing opportunities to be active, is more effective than telling them they need to be more active.  Both of us also often choose not to have a dessert or treat because it isn’t “worth the calories.” We save our treats for something delicious and really savor them too.  We again try not to be judgmental about the girls’ choice to have a treat.  Rather than asking, “Do you really want (or need) to eat that?”  we find “Are you really going to enjoy that?” more effective and supportive.

“What can I do to motivate you to develop healthy habits?”

Most of us are motivated by reward.  Let’s be honest, eating healthy and being active are often not very fun.  Yes, healthy food can be delicious.  Yes, activity can be enjoyable.  But yet, most of us don’t choose those habits.  We do what we want to do, not what someone tells us we should do. Connecting healthy habits with a reward, of course not a food reward, can make a big difference.  For example, when I was trying to lose the 80 pounds I gained during pregnancy, I wasn’t motivated until my husband offered to buy me anything I wanted if I could exercise for 20 minutes per day for 100 days in a row.  That made the difference for me. Now exercise is just a daily habit.  What could you offer your teen to develop a life-long healthy habit?

Help your teen navigate the natural body changes and develop habits to support a lifetime of wellness through open conversation, a healthy environment, and the right kind of motivation.

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Wellbeing

Can You Get By On Just Two Hours Of Sleep?

I’ve had Timothy Ferriss’ book The 4-Hour Body on my to-read list for a while. But it wasn’t until someone mentioned that he has a “surefire” method of getting by on just two hours of sleep a day that I finally picked it up and started reading. As someone who suffers from insomnia, if I could find a way to live on just two hours of sleep a day and not feel like a zombie, I’d be all over that.
When I first heard the idea, it triggered something in my brain, like maybe I’d heard his theory before, and the thought niggled that it had something to do with short naps throughout the day, but I wasn’t sure. It wasn’t until I actually read the chapter “Becoming Uberman” that the wheels clicked and I remembered where I’d heard about this idea of polyphasic sleep. Before I tell you where I heard about it, let me explain what polyphasic sleep is.
The idea of polyphasic sleep is pretty much just as I thought. It’s all about spreading your sleep out. According to Ferriss we really only need rapid eye movement (REM) sleep; all those other stages are basically a waste of time. He says that since we only spend about two out of eight hours in REM sleep, we should just bypass the other stages altogether. To do this, Ferriss suggests tiring yourself out to the point that when you fall asleep you jump straight to REM.
Ferriss presents several options, all focused on taking 20-minute naps throughout the day. The differences in the options come down to how many naps you take. You can take just one nap during the day and cut 40 minutes off of your normal sleep time. The options range from there, allowing you to cut your total sleep time with each 20-minute nap that you take.
The extreme “uberman” option requires you to take a 20-minute nap every four hours, getting a total of just two hours of sleep in each 24-hour period. Sounds awesome, right?
This brings me back to where I heard about the “uberman” polyphasic sleep method. It was in the book The Game by Neil Strauss. Don’t judge me! I was just curious and it turned out the book was pretty good. In case you aren’t familiar with The Game, it’s a nonfiction book about picking up women. In the course of the book, Strauss and a couple of his buddies decide to try this “uberman” sleep method. In the end they find out that the catch isn’t quite worth it.
Yes, there’s a catch! There’s always a catch. So, what is the catch, you ask? Let me explain.
There are actually two catches. The first is that you have to follow a very strict schedule of taking a 20-minute nap every four hours. Any delay throws your whole schedule out of sync. The second is that it takes a good three weeks to get your body and brain used to this sleep pattern, and in the meantime you are a walking zombie.
Catch 1 is hard enough to overcome for the average person, but Catch 2 could be downright dangerous!
For me personally–and I’m guessing for those who already suffer from insomnia and fatigue–I don’t think I’d make it the full three weeks. I’m sure my husband wouldn’t survive three weeks of me without sleep.
This brings me to one very important question about this whole theory: Is it true that we only need REM sleep?
REM is the fifth out of the five stages of sleep. The third and fourth stages are called “deep sleep,” and this is when Delta waves occur. Delta waves are one of five types of brain waves. They are responsible for helping the body and mind heal.
Delta waves are pretty important and something we want to encourage, especially if our bodies are already suffering from any sort of acute or chronic illness. The fact that these waves decrease overall as we age would make it even more important that we not do anything to decrease them further, like eliminating stages 3 and 4 of sleep. REM sleep is definitely important as well, as it’s believed that during REM sleep our brain organizes information, aiding in memory and learning.
All in all I’d say that Stage 4 sleep is more important than REM for our bodies and our minds, but REM is certainly important too. I wouldn’t want to do anything that decreases either of these stages. I think I’ll stick to my typical nine or so hours of sleep a night and hope I’m hitting all the stages.
References: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/brain_basics/understanding_sleep.htm

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Wellbeing

The Surprising Lesson About Food and Health In Disney Pixar's "Inside Out"

The first time I heard about Disney Pixar’s new animated film, “Inside Out,” I was, shall we say, skeptical. A kid’s movie about talking emotions? I wondered if, and how, that premise could possibly be fleshed out into a feature film.

Fast forward a month or so, and I sit in a dark theater, surrounded by children, all of us on the edges of our seats, but for very different reasons. While they are captivated by characters in peril and reverse-serendipitous cases of bad timing, I am enthralled by the parallel between the narrative playing out in front of me, and a counseling technique I teach to my nutrition clients every day.

It feels, in a way, almost too obvious to conclude that a movie taking place in a little girl’s brain can teach us a lot about mindfulness, but then, that is essentially what  mindfulness is all about: clearing away all of life’s distractions and focusing on the simple, beautifully obvious truths before us.

Mindfulness can be applied to any aspect of your life, but I find it particularly useful when working on habits related to food and nutrition. Food, I tell my clients, is rarely about the food. We eat for so many reasons: celebration and sadness; boredom and nervousness; anger and betrayal. We eat as though to smother these uncomfortable emotions in a blanket of Ben and Jerry’s; as though comfort, reprieve, and joy are buried at the bottom of that tub of chicken wings. And we do it all without much thought at all.

What if, however, instead of trying to ignore these complicated feelings, we were to zoom out and observe them instead? When we personify emotions the way that “Inside Out” does so effortlessly, we walk down a path of self-awareness and understanding.

Let’s take a look at how this works. Close your eyes and picture a stressful day at work. You’re late because of gridlock traffic, there is a surprise meeting, a co worker falls through on a project, you work through lunch to catch up, and leave the office at 5p.m. feeling like you have been confined by those four walls for a near century. You finally get home with barely enough energy to change into comfortable clothes. Maybe you trip on a child’s toy. Maybe you forgot to defrost something for dinner that morning. Maybe a half dozen other things pile onto your shoulders. There is a box of cookies in the cabinet. You tell yourself you deserve them. Five minutes later, the box is empty, and you feel guilty and stuffed – an even worse combination than the exhaustion and stress from before (which, by the way, are still lurking in the background somewhere).

Phew! I feel drained just imagining that scenario. Now, let’s change some things around. You still have the same crummy day at work. You still come home to more aggravation, and those cookies still call your name.  You still think to yourself, I deserve them. But wait! A red flag goes up. What is really going on here? Before you reach for the cookies, you go into a quiet room and sit down. You close your eyes and imagine the emotions inside your head, just like in the movie. Who is in the driver’s seat today? Is it Anger? Sadness? Fear? If the red flag didn’t fly until after the box of cookies was empty, is Disgust chiming in (perhaps with Mindy Kaling’s sassy voice, just like in the movie)?  Try to imagine them as separate entities from the rest of you, and explore those thoughts and emotions with curiosity rather than judgment.

When we think of our emotions as colorful doppelgangers (narration by iconic celebrities optional) we are reminded that we are more than any one emotion or reaction. We are not “bad” when we eat cake or “good” when we eat salad. We are not failures when we eat more of something than we originally intended. We are simply human beings who sometimes need comfort, sometimes need sustenance, and too often have been taught to conflate the two. As we practice this mindful way of considering the triggers that drive us to eat, whether it be stress, boredom, habit, or hunger, we gain a stronger sense of self and a more comprehensive toolbox to face all of the situations life throws at us.

And you thought you just bought a ticket to see a children’s movie.

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Health x Body Wellbeing

The Important Reason Why You May Be Cold…And What To Do About It

I’ve got sweatshirts and hoodies in every room of my house…just in case I get cold. And I always get cold. Doesn’t everyone get cold on a humid, August night? Apparently not. When I took a poll, I was the minority. Like, the only one. Which kind of made me think.
Of course falling asleep at 8:32 on the couch every night, having to snake the bathtub every month from my hair falling out, or creating the tripod pose after a mile of my 5-mile run kind of made me think something was amok as well. A trip to Doctor Tom offered some insight. He thought I had asthma and sent me home with an inhaler.
When the inhaler failed to warm me up on a hot summer’s night I returned to Doc Tom, who proceeded to take some blood tests. He reported that my cholesterol was borderline (thanks Dad), my thyroid was perfect (thanks mom) oh, and what were we going to do about my severe anemia?
Wait … anemia? What anemia? I haven’t had any major surgeries. I’m not a vegetarian. I can practically devour an entire cow in one sitting. I drool at turkeys on the side of the road. I eat my spinach (sometimes—if it was hiding. And chopped up to resemble chives.) Okay, so I know that every month I go through super plus tampons like they’re not even there, and I have not one set of sheets that doesn’t remind me of that. But healthy me…anemic? Well, guess what? It seems as though I’m not the only one.
More than 3 million people in the United States have anemia, and women and people with chronic diseases are at the greatest risk for anemia.
What is anemia? It occurs when you have less than the normal number of red blood cells in your blood or when the red blood cells in your blood don’t have enough hemoglobin. Hemoglobin’s job is to carry oxygen from your lungs to all parts of your body. If you have anemia, your blood doesn’t carry enough oxygen to all the parts of your body and your body can’t work as well.
How can you tell (earlier than I did) that you may be anemic? Here are some common symptoms:

  • Fatigue
  • Breathlessness
  • Fogginess
  • Brittle nails
  • Hair loss
  • Pale skin

If you recognized any or some of the above, you may be anemic. The good news is all it takes is a simple blood test by your doctor to find out.
What do you do if your iron is low? There are a bunch of ways to increase your iron stores. First, you need to figure out why you’re anemic.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Do you have heavy periods, often bleeding through tampons every hour?
  • Do you exercise every day for more than an hour at time?
  • Do you avoid red meat and/or are you a vegetarian?
  • Are you on a low-calorie diet?
  • Do you drink more than two glasses a day of wine or coffee?
  • Do you have thyroid issues or a chronic disease like Crohn’s?
  • Do other people in your family have anemia?

Regardless of your reason for being anemic, if you have low iron stores, it’s important to eat foods that contain iron and will help you to increase your stores.
Be mindful that heme iron (animal based) is more readily absorbed than non-heme iron (plant based). Eating heme iron will increase your stores faster. You can increase both heme and non-heme iron absorption by pairing it with vitamin C. For example, tomato bolognese sauce is a perfect combination of vitamin C from the tomatoes and heme iron from the beef.
If your reason for being anemic is that you bleed a lot during your period, talk to your doctor about ways to curb your bleeding. The pill, IUD, and minor surgical procedures have helped women to slow their periods and increase their stores. Unfortunately, I tried the pill and it left me with such horrible migraines that I swore to never put another hormone in my body again. Which leads me to supplementation.
If you’re iron is low, you need to get it back. Talk to your doctor about the best iron supplement for you. Many people find that iron pills can be hard on their stomachs and cause constipation. After much experimentation, I’ve found that one stopper full of liquid pediatric iron put into prune juice keeps my belly happy and my body healthy. Check with your doctor and see what your best option(s) are and don’t wait to feel better!

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Wellbeing

How to Motivate Yourself to Work Out–Even When You Don't Feel Like It

Over the years, writing about health and fitness, I’ve talked to tons of trainers and athletes about their workout habits, tips and tricks. And after all my anecdotal research, I’ve come to one conclusion:

Pretty much everyone has days when they’d rather do anything but workout.

You’re tired. You’re hungry. You’ve been working too much. It’s that time of month. You have a headache. The pillow is calling. The TV is calling. Your cat is calling… Should I keep going?

The key to exercise consistency is crowding out those excuses with the right motivational system. Here are some ways you can prompt yourself to hit the treadmill, trail, bike, or field. Really, it’s not as hard as you think.

Tip 1: Toss any ugly, uncomfortable gear.

I was recently talking to a super-marathoner—which means she’s a gamer, guys. She regularly signs up for races in excess of 30 miles. She will even run races up to 100 miles (!!). And you know how she motivates herself to train? Just like I do, actually: by buying the best, coolest, cutest outfits possible. Fashion mavens, don’t lie. You know great clothes are all you need to up your workout game.

This tip isn’t just for the trendsetters, though. Comfort is essential. Throw away any items that are too small or don’t stay in place, swapping them with workout gear that feels as good as it looks.

If your clothes don’t fit well, you’re not gonna wanna to workout. If you look good and feel good before get up and move it, move it? You’ll enjoy yourself more, and you’ll be more likely to workout every single day.

Tip 2: Sleep in your workout clothes.

Getting a workout in before you officially start your day is the surest way to make sure you don’t skip it; let’s face it, after you spend the day at the office or chasing kids, exercise will be the first thing to fall off your plate. But changing from your PJs to your workout wear for that a.m. run? Oddly taxing.

Don’t give yourself any reasons to hit snooze. Try sleeping in those comfy workout clothes you bought (see tip No. 1), keeping your running shoes right next to your bed. The process is then this: wake up, lace up, go. No excuses.

Tip 3: Break it up.

Sometimes, though, I get it. You’re busy. Maybe it’s been a long day at work, a long weekend, or you just couldn’t fit your entire workout in before you had to start your day.

I often feel best when I break up my exercise into manageable chunks throughout the day. If your schedule is tight, try doing 30 minutes in the morning. Then at lunch, take a 15-minute power walk if you have some downtime. Do another 15 minutes when you get home before dinner—and then another 15 minutes after you fuel up on a meal.

Guess what? You just notched a whole hour of exercise! Plus, it’s better to keep moving throughout the day anyway; research has shown getting the recommended 45-minute block of physical activity daily isn’t enough to counter the health issues associated with sedentary lifestyle, like heart disease and type-2 diabetes. When in doubt, move your feet. Every hour, if possible. It all adds up and keeps your metabolism chuggin’.

Tip 4: Use “rewards” effectively.

Did you know there are lots of different kinds of rewards? Yup! According to Harvard Business Review, using that motivational system effectively can help you get stuff done—including those oh-so painful workouts, as I’ll explain.

Try using three different kinds of rewards to fuel your exercise game: regenerative, concurrent, and cumulative. Regenerative rewards are those that help keep your energy up for a challenge; so allow yourself a healthy snack or 20-minute power nap before your workout. Concurrent are rewards you get while you’re completing that tough task; so, yes, you can feel free to binge-watch some Scandal while you’re on the treadmill. Cumulative rewards are those you rack up with time; try setting aside $1 for every day you exercise, and eventually you’ll be able to withdraw that dough and treat yourself to a gift for your ongoing workout consistency.

Trust me. Rewarding yourself like a champ will make that hour-long workout way more fun.

Tip 5: Mix it up and make it social.

Lots of people get into the habit of doing the same workout over and over, over and over. This isn’t a good idea for a couple reasons. First of all, the more you exercise the same way, your body gets used to the workout. You’ll build up strength and endurance to complete that specific set of exercises, and you’re going to stop seeing results. You may hit a plateau.

Secondly, you might bore yourself right out of your routine. If your motivation to get up and get moving is waning, it’s time to mix it up. Enlist a pal to keep you accountable, and join a gym or yoga class. Get involved in a team sport, like soccer or softball, to supplement your runs and weight work. Basically: have fun!

Workouts don’t have to be so serious. At the end of the day, if you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong. #Protip.

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Wellbeing

The Real Truth About Sunscreen And Cancer

Recently my social media stream has been full of posts about the “hidden dangers of sunscreen.” Upon clicking through, my initial reaction was fear. The sunscreen I use every day, and the one I’ve been using on my children for years, was listed as dangerous.
Could my sunscreen actually cause cancer?
Rather than taking the information at face value and buying into the media hype, I dug a little deeper into the safety and efficacy of sunscreens. My conclusion? We all need to take a deep breath and calm down.
Here are the facts (not the hype) about sunscreens:

Sunscreens work best when they are used regularly and consistently.

As a pale person, I don’t leave the house without applying sunscreen. Ever. I wear a high SPF sunscreen because after years of experimenting, that is what keeps me from getting burned. Lists of “safe” sunscreens, often only recommended zinc based products. Yes, these products work well, however they are very thick, clog pores, and leave a white residue. Thanks, but I’m not interested in the kabuki look. Again, the key is to use the sunscreen consistently, so finding one that is easy to use, feels good on the skin, and doesn’t cause breakouts is important.

The science doesn’t add up.

There has been great hue and cry over some ingredients in  sunscreens. Some even claim those ingredients cause cancer. However, there is no verifiable scientific evidence to prove any of these ingredients cause cancer. The ingredients have in fact been rigorously tested. Here are the facts as reported by numerous independent scientific sources:
Oxybenzone: One of the studies often sited involved mice that were fed oxybenzone. Misunderstanding the results of this study caused some people to claim the chemical, when applied to the skin and not ingested, could cause cancer. This is in no way supported by the results of the study. Research on humans has shown the chemical applied to the skin is safe.
Retinyl Palmitate: This chemical is a form of vitamin A and some people claim it speeds the growth of tumors based on a study that was never published in a peer reviewed journal. There is no evidence retinyl palmitate or vitamin A does anything other than prevent skin cancer.
Nanoparticles: The concern that the small size of these chemical particles would allow them to penetrate the skin, attack DNA, and cause cell mutation is unfounded. Nanoparticles cannot penetrate live skin. The entire point of these chemicals is to apply them to the outside of the skin to create a barrier of protection. Some people are also concerned that breathing these nanoparticles while applying spray-on sunscreen will cause mutation. Experts suggest the only real concern about spray-on sunscreen is that people do not apply enough of the product, which leads to a false sense of protection.

You only need a little sun to get vitamin D.

Go ahead, use the sunscreen. Your body will still convert sunlight to vitamin D. On average, we only need about 15 minutes of sun exposure to get the vitamin D we need. The small decrease in vitamin D conversion that may be caused by a sunscreen in minor. Too much sun exposure actually destroys vitamin D, so relying on diet based sources such as milk products and oily fish may be the better strategy.

Sunscreen is just one tool in protecting yourself from skin cancer.

Experts agree that a full package of sun protection involves sunscreen as well as wearing a hat and other sun protective clothing, staying in the shade when possible, and avoiding tanning beds.
Skin cancer is a serious concern. According to the the Skin Cancer Foundation one in five Americans will develop skin cancer in their lifetimes and more than two million new skin cancers are diagnosed every year. Skin cancer prevention is essential. Be smart about sun exposure, know the facts, and use the sunscreen that works the best for you.

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Wellbeing

The Calcium Conundrum: What It Takes To Build Strong Bones

Pop quiz: Name three nutrients that are critical to building strong bones. Calcium, right? Everybody gets that one. Any others? Some people get vitamin D, and they’re correct. But almost no one can come up with a third. Give up? In addition to calcium and vitamin D, healthy bones need magnesium, phosphorus, manganese, and vitamin K.
Okay pop quiz, part 2: What foods are the best sources of those bone-building nutrients? If you said milk, you’re in the majority—every day we hear that milk and other dairy products build strong bones. But if you said milk, you’re wrong—or at best only partly right. Yes, milk, cheese, and yogurt are good sources of calcium, and they do pretty well on vitamin D—if they’re “fortified,” meaning that it’s added to the milk. But they’re not even close to being good sources of most of the other important nutrients.
Let’s take a closer look at calcium, vitamin D, and some of those often-overlooked bone-building nutrients, including how much you need and where you get it.
CALCIUM is the most abundant mineral in the body, making up about two percent of our body weight. Almost all of it lives in our bones and teeth. In the U.S., the Recommended Daily Allowance (RDA) for adults is 1,000 – 1,200 milligrams of calcium per day. Calcium helps bones grow when we’re young, and keeps them strong as we age.
Milk and dairy products are excellent sources, but there are plenty of other high-calcium foods that may be even better because calcium in vegetables may be absorbed by our bodies more efficiently than animal-based calcium. Sources include kale, tofu, turnip greens, broccoli, beans, black molasses, fortified drinks (orange juice, soy milk, almond milk, rice milk), fortified cereals, salmon, and sardines.
VITAMIN D helps the body get calcium out of your food and into your bones, where it belongs. RDA is 600 – 800 IU (International Units) per day, but a lot of Americans are vitamin D deficient, which means not enough calcium gets to the bones. The result is an increase in the risk of bone fractures.
Vitamin D deficiency has been linked with a number of other health problems, including increased cancer and diabetes risk. Many experts now recommend 1,000 – 2,000 IU per day. Sunlight is by far the best source–just 10 minutes in the sun can give you up to 10,000 IU. But thanks to our current obsession with sunscreen (which is a good thing, but we still need to spend some unscreened time outside), we don’t get enough. Sources other than dairy include cod liver oil, salmon, mackerel, sole, cod, tuna, sardines, and eggs.
MAGNESIUM makes bones stronger and teeth harder. The RDA is 200-420 milligrams per day, but Americans are even more deficient in magnesium than we are in vitamin D. Many experts now recommend that we get a 1:1 ratio of calcium to magnesium (in other words if you get 500 mg of calcium, you need 500 mg of magnesium too). Excellent sources are pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, whole grains, barley, soybeans, almonds, cashews, other nuts, beets, and collard greens.
PHOSPHORUS works with calcium to build bone mass and strength. As with vitamin D and magnesium, if we don’t get enough phosphorus, our body starts jettisoning calcium, usually via urine or by creating kidney stones. RDA is about 700 mg per day. Excellent sources include soy, whole grains, barley, dairy, nuts, cheese, soybeans, sunflower seeds, and lentils.
POTASSIUM neutralizes naturally occurring acids that can eat away at our bones. RDA is 4700 mg per day (four times more than calcium), and great sources are sweet potatoes, other potatoes, cantaloupe, bananas, avocados, tomato products, spinach, beans, yogurt, halibut, mackerel, peaches, and apples.
VITAMIN K keeps calcium in the bones and out of the bloodstream. RDA is 90 micrograms (for females) to 120 mcg (for males) per day. There’s barely any vitamin K in dairy products, but a cup of kale will give you 630 mcg. Other sources include spinach, turnip greens, and other dark leafy veggies, asparagus, cabbage, and broccoli.
As you can see, strong bones are made of quite a bit more than calcium and vitamin D. Problems start when the ratio of calcium to the other nutrients gets out of whack (and it almost always is). Too much calcium may increase our risk of developing kidney stones and arthritis, and may actually lead to an increase in the risk of developing osteoporosis and suffering bone fractures. (About a third of women–and a fifth of men–over 50 will have an osteoporosis-related fracture.) And the biggest culprit is milk. Wait, what? Yep, as counterintuitive as that sounds, it’s true.
A number of international studies have found that countries where milk consumption is highest (the U.S. is at the top of that list) have the highest rates of hip and other bone fractures (we’re at the top of that list too).

What’s wrong with milk?

While milk products are high in calcium, they don’t contain enough of the other co-operating nutrients to get that calcium to the right place. Milk also contains a lot of protein, which sounds like a good thing but has its own problems. Eating a lot of animal (but not vegetable) protein–which Americans do too much of–increases bone fracture rates even further.
Oh, and it gets worse. In the China study, men with the highest calcium intake had double the risk of developing prostate cancer and four times the risk of having metastatic (mean it spread to other parts of the body) and fatal prostate cancer.
As long as we’re talking about important foods, let’s not forget about some that can have a negative effect on bone strength: these include salt, caffeine, sugar, and animal products. In moderation, they’re fine, of course. But eaten the way we typically eat them is a problem.
Finally, as important as diet is in building strong bones, it’s also important to do some weight-bearing exercise. Those include simple things like walking and jogging (but not swimming or horseback riding). Try to get 30 minutes at least five days per week.
Before you start any exercise routine or make big changes to your diet, talk with your healthcare provider about what’s best for you and your unique circumstances.

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Wellbeing

Do You Have Superwoman Syndrome?

Many of us are superwomen; We are the women who feel and desire to live up to the expectations and pressures to do it all. We are the women who work hard and are totally dedicated to juggling multiple roles in lives: careers, marriages, family, and friends.

We are women hear us roar! We can do it all!

It can feel amazing to be successful and needed, and there’s a great sense of satisfaction and happiness associated with being able to do it all.  On the flip side, being a superwoman can cause feelings of being overworked, overwhelmed with life, stressed, alone, and at times even depressed.

Does any of this sound like you? I am here to admit I am a superwoman, and I am not perfect. If you’re still debating, let’s get a little deeper into the characteristics of a true superwoman.

Being a Perfectionist: Superwomen desire to be seen as “good” inside and out. They strive for perfection in how they look, speak and perform in an effort to be seen as good enough. Being judged as good is important for their sense of worth.  People-pleasing is often a habit because being liked is vital to a superwoman’s reputation and to them internally.  A superwoman needs to feel loved and that they fit in.

How do we fix this? We superwomen need to first take time to love ourselves and base our self-worth on actually liking ourselves first and foremost. We need to realize that, hey, we are still loved and appreciated even when we are doing nothing at all.

Recognition is Your Drug: Accomplishments bring recognition, and for superwomen, recognition is the drug of choice. The more we achieve, the more recognition we receive, the more we want to achieve. It’s a vicious cycle.

Once more, superwomen need to practice being loved without depending on someone else’s approval. We need to be proud of who we are, and what we do, this should be enough.

Control Freak: Asking for help for superwomen doesn’t happen often. This I know firsthand. Why is this? Why can’t we allow others to help us?  This can come from a fear that no one can do it better than we can.  That leaves us with having too little trust to give up any control and allow others to help.  It can also come from guilt or a sense of failure of not being able to do something on our own.

We can start to resolve this simply by asking others to help, and to trust that they will get it done. It’s all about letting go of control, and trusting in the process, in yourself, and those around you.

Just Say NO: Superwomen are afraid that if they say NO they will not be wanted or liked. Saying NO may make another person angry or upset, and this is not a good feeling for us superwomen. We over-function as way to control conflict.

We superwomen must learn to say NO. We  must learn to share what we want and what we don’t want with those around us.

Over Driven: There is no accomplishment that is too big or to small; we will go for it, complete it, and strive for more. Superwomen are driven to be the best business owners and employees, best friends, best moms and best wives. I’m exhausted just thinking about it all.

We need to learn how to just “be.” If this is as hard for you as it is for me, I feel your pain.  To just be, I’d have to be whisked off to a far off destination that includes a beach and no Wi-Fi, zero connection with the world.

Let the Walls Down: Superwomen may appear confident, but there are secret insecurities. Superwomen tend to feel loved only when performing and being perfect. We have a difficult time asking for help and speaking our true feelings. We control our lives through staying in our own minds and needing to be in control. Does any of this sound familiar? It can be difficult for loved ones to love a superwoman because she sees vulnerability and surrender as a loss of control.

How do we fix this? We superwomen need to learn to surrender control and express our feelings That means everything ladies – sadness, anger, exhaustion, confusion, fear, happiness, love, joy, the whole gamut! This will help those around you to better understand what it is you are needing and to be able to meet your needs. This will allow others to love and support you fully and completely.

Difficulty Receiving: Giving keeps us superwomen in a position of power which we equate to control. However, if we are always giving, then it’s not possible to feel appreciated enough, which causes us to often times see everyone as coming up short. This can create chronic conflict in relationships because no one can feel they measure up to our superwoman expectations.

We need to remind ourselves how good it feels to give.  There is often guilt associated with receiving, which comes down to worth, and so what better way to learn self-love than to learn to receive? Can I get an Amen!

Superwomen are amazingly fabulous women who love deeply, give generously, and have a tremendous need for belonging and love. Learning to receive, follow and express their authentic self can heal this need for freakish control.

Do you know why you have a need for so much control? Superwomen controls mostly because of being afraid things will fall apart and she will shatter. Take a minute to ponder that one.  It is great to be and feel successful, needed and appreciated, and it is equally as important to learn to just be, to receive, and to be able to follow rather than lead.