Tag: balance

Social media is not just a fun way to stay in touch with your family and friends. It’s also a valuable tool and resource for staying accountable to your health and fitness goals. Let’s put our love for social media to good use with these tips and tools on how social media can actually help you stay on track with your fitness goals and keep you headed down the right path on your journey.

1. Announce it to the world.

When you share your goals with the world of social media, you are far less likely to stop or give up on what you are doing. Knowing that you’ve shared a goal online holds you accountable for actually following through with that goal and seeing the finish line. Be vulnerable and share your goals with your social media pals. Let them know you are scared or nervous—or even excited—and that you need their support to get through this. Why not invite them to join in with you?! Life is more fun with friends.

2. Participate in hashtag campaigns.

Instagram especially is a great place to participate in fun hashtag campaigns like #motivationmonday, #transformationtuesday, #workoutwednesday #throwbackthursday, #flexfriday, and #staturday. This can allow you to share motivation or look at other people’s motivation to help keep you going. This is also is a nice way to track your progress beyond the scale as you begin to see yourself transform in the pictures you are sharing.

3. Create Pinterest boards.

Pinterest is like the modern day magazine, so use Pinterest as a way to search for healthy recipes, meal prep ideas, workout inspiration, and much more. You can also create your own boards to share what you are finding, what you are loving, and what is working for you. It’s a great way to collect and keep things organized.

4. Find a group.

Groups on Facebook are a great way to find other like-minded individuals and motivate each other. You can search based on specific interests, such as running or dance, or even search by the area where you live. Or you can start your own group as a way to gather some friends and stay motivated. Do daily check-ins, share favorite recipes, or even complain about how your workout was that day!

5. If you don’t post about it, did it really happen?

Don’t be afraid to use social media as a way to document and track your daily workouts, nutrition, and progress. Ate an amazing salad for lunch? Post it! Took a really hard yoga class? Post it! Not only will it help you see your habits and create consistency, but chances are it will motivate someone else to get more active and healthy and join you on your journey.
Social media is just that…SOCIAL! A way for you to share with your friends and let them help you be the best you possible. So use it to your advantage!

Two particularly masculine ways of expressing anger during fights with a significant other—letting it all out or shutting down emotionally—may take a toll on your health, but in very different ways. A team of researchers at the University of California, Berkeley and Northwestern University found that men who explode with rage are more likely than not-so-explosive men to develop cardiovascular problems. Meanwhile, men who bottle up their emotions are more likely to develop musculoskeletal problems such as muscle stiffness and back pain.
Robert Levenson, a psychologist at UC Berkeley, led the study. He and his team have been following a group of 156 heterosexual couples since 1989. Every five years, the researchers record the couples as they discuss their lives, focusing on sources of happiness and disagreement. The couples also fill out a detailed questionnaire about their health.
Experts in human behavior then watch the videos, carefully coding how the subjects express frustration and keeping specific track of their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Some of the subjects display their anger more openly, knitting their brows, pressing lips together, tightening their jaw, and significantly raising or lowering their voice. Others do what the researchers call “stonewalling,” subtly stiffening their facial or neck muscles, giving their spouse the silent treatment, and avoiding or breaking eye contact.
Correlating the videos and health data, one thing became clear very early on: “We looked at marital-conflict conversations that lasted just 15 minutes and could predict the development of health problems over 20 years for husbands based on the emotional behaviors that they showed during these 15 minutes,” said psychologist Claudia Haase, who led the researchers from Northwestern.
Specifically, more volatile spouses had a higher risk of developing high blood pressure, chest pain, and other cardiovascular problems. And those who stonewalled were more likely as they got older to suffer from stiff muscles, back pain, and neck or joint stiffness.
Trying to identify the causes of specific physical ailments is notoriously difficult, so the researchers were very careful to exclude other factors that might affect health, including alcohol use, age, caffeine consumption, level of education, exercise level, and smoking.
The correlation between argument style and health is stronger in men, but according to Levenson, the overall results hold true for women as well. “Our findings suggest particular emotions expressed in a relationship predict vulnerability to particular health problems, and those emotions are anger and stonewalling,” he said in a UC Berkeley press release.
So what does this mean to you?
If you’re a hothead, you may want to think about meditation, therapy, or some other approach to managing your anger. Continuing to do what you’re doing might kill you.
If you’re a stonewaller, consider doing the opposite: Practice letting some of those bottled-up emotions out (but not so much that you cross into hothead territory). It’ll do you a world of good.
The study was published in the journal Emotion.

We’ve all been there: the days that stretch into eternity and leave us drained and defeated from deadlines and demands that are bordering on impossible. The only inviting thought is of the couch, and the idea of squeezing in even a short workout sounds like some cruel joke.

But did you know that if we can get past that initial mental hurdle, a workout is often precisely what our body is craving?

Lack of exercise can actually cause fatigue in some cases, which means incorporating regular physical activity into your week may prevent fatigue in the first place. Even if you haven’t gotten to that point, though, exercise can still benefit you in the short term.

Although it sounds counterintuitive, exercise actually fights fatigue, too. One analysis of 70 studies on exercise and fatigue found that over 90 percent of sedentary individuals demonstrated diminished fatigue levels when they completed a regular exercise program. Workouts in these studies were often even more effective than stimulant medications. 

Another individual study recently received attention for its findings that otherwise healthy but sedentary, fatigued individuals reported a 20 percent increase in energy levels upon completing six weeks of regular activity. 

Lest you think you have to run a marathon to get the effect, rest assured that the individuals in the low-intensity exercise group actually reported a greater reduction in fatigue than those in the moderate-intensity exercise group (although both saw improvements compared to the no-exercise control group).

When it comes to chronic fatigue syndrome, in fact, exercise is considered a highly effective component of treatment, provided the individual starts slowly, keeps it light and low impact (think stretching and body weight strength training), and allows for a work-to-rest ratio of 1:3. Regular exercise can also help reduce fatigue related to autoimmune conditions such as lupus and multiple sclerosis.

How, exactly, does exercise do this? Although exercise can be taxing in that it uses energy, it also increases blood flow, allowing more oxygen and nutrients to reach the muscles to be used to create more energy.

Now for the real scientific part: the cells in our bodies—including the ones that make up muscle fibers—contain small structures called mitochondria, sometimes referred to as the “power plants” of the cell because they’re responsible for assembling little energy units known as adenosine triphosphates (ATP).

Exercise stimulates the production of additional mitochondria, which means our cells can make more ATP—and more ATP, in very unscientific terms, really just means more energy. Phew!

A solid workout also helps to reduce fatigue indirectly by affecting mood. Physical activity can improve alertness and concentration, enhance overall cognitive functioning, reduce stress, produce feel-good endorphins, and improve our sleep; all factors that could lead to feelings of fatigue without this balancing boost. It has been used effectively to treat both anxiety and depression in the short and long term, two additional conditions that can leave a person feeling drained, lethargic—and, yes, quite fatigued.

Even if we know these facts, however, it can be difficult to convince ourselves in the moment that physical activity will alleviate—not worsen—our feelings of exhaustion. Yet this is precisely when a workout has the potential to affect us the most. 

Try to identify and gradually eliminate the barriers that stand between you and that exercise session. So often, I find the biggest barrier is simply getting myself into workout clothes; once I dress the part, I feel ready to go. Other strategies include incorporating activity into your daily responsibilities, such as riding a bike to work or errands or bringing the family to the park in the evening instead of settling in for a Netflix binge. Start small and work your way up; even a 10-minute walk after a meal can help.

No amount of physical activity can make up for lack of sleep, however. (No amount of caffeine can either, by the way.) Sometimes our bodies really do just need to rest, and it’s important to respect that. 

How many of us are overworked and under-rested in this day and age? We rely on a cocktail o
f coffee and sleeping aids to do the job that a healthy lifestyle has the power to do all on its own. Exercise can help improve sleep quality, but it’s only one piece of the puzzle. Go to bed 10–15 minutes earlier each night until you’re sleeping a solid seven to nine hours (although some people wake up rested after less than that). If you’re still having trouble, read up on simple, healthy sleep habits.

If you’re feeling run down, it’s likely not just one thing, but rather a collection of habits that are leaving you chronically drained. Take care of your body by giving it the fuel and movement by day (and rest by night) that it needs, and it will take care of you.

For more than 100 years, scientists have told us that marriage is good for our health (especially if you’re a man). It reduces stress levels, lowers the risk of heart attack and stroke, and generally leads to longer lives.
More recently, researchers have been looking at marital quality as a predictor of health, and the results are pretty much what you’d expect. Happy marriages generally lead to happier, healthier, longer lives, while unhappy ones lead to shorter, less healthy lives. There is, however, one exception.
If you’re a man with diabetes and your marriage isn’t everything it should be, you may want to resist the urge to get couples’ counseling. According to researchers at Michigan State University and the University of Chicago, your rocky relationship could be what’s keeping you alive.

Wait, what?

That sounds completely counterintuitive, if not downright crazy, doesn’t it? But the way it works is pretty simple. A woman whose husband has diabetes frequently pays more attention to his health than he does, regulating his diet, encouraging him to do plenty of exercise, monitoring his blood glucose levels, and reminding him to take his medication. Some men would characterize this sort of behavior as micromanagement or nagging.
But according to Michigan State sociologist Hui Liu, “sometimes, nagging is caring.” That irksome wife may actually be keeping her husband from developing diabetes in the first place and reducing the severity of the disease if he gets it anyway.
According to the American Diabetes Association, more than 29 million Americans have diabetes—that’s about 9 percent of the population. It’s the seventh leading cause of death in the U.S., killing 70,000 of us every year and contributing to the deaths of 230,000 more.
Liu and her colleagues analyzed health data from 1,228 married couples who were interviewed in 2005–2006 and again in 2010–2011. The team assumed going into the study that they’d find high levels of marital happiness to be associated with lower diabetes risk. Instead, they found some fascinating differences between men and women.
For men, “an increase in negative marital quality lowered the risk of developing diabetes and increased the chances of managing the disease after its onset.” This creates a rather ironic situation, where the more a man perceives that his wife harangues him, the lower the quality of his marriage—but the greater his odds of managing and surviving his diabetes
For women, however, the opposite was true: “For women, a good marriage was related to a lower risk of being diabetic five years later,” said Liu in a press release. Specifically, the happier the marriage, the lower her risk. “Women may be more sensitive than men to the quality of a relationship and thus more likely to experience a health boost from a good-quality relationship,” she added.
The study was published online May 23, 2016 in the Journals of Gerontology.

Traveling to a foreign country can be one of the most rewarding and enriching experiences ever—exposing us to new cultures, fascinating history, and breathtaking landscapes that just aren’t available back home. But those travel experiences can turn into a horrible nightmare if plans go awry and we end up facing health issues while on the road. Purchasing travel insurance can help alleviate the worries that come with dealing with those issues, however, helping to keep you safe, get you proper medical attention, and cover unexpected expenses. Here’s why you should be using travel insurance when you go abroad.

Unexpected Medical Expenses

While you’re traveling domestically, your usual medical insurance will typically cover your costs should something go wrong and you end up needing to see a doctor. But most policies don’t extend coverage to overseas travel, leaving you in the lurch if an emergency occurs. Travel insurance can pick up the slack in this department, however, providing coverage for those unexpected trips to the emergency room after you accidentally turn an ankle while walking the gardens of Versailles or get run over by a bull in Pamplona. Having travel insurance means you don’t have to worry about how you’re going to afford to pay those bills.

Prescription Medications

Inpatient and outpatient care isn’t the only expense that travel insurance will cover. Most policies will also pay for any medications that you might need should you get injured or become ill while traveling overseas. If a doctor writes you a prescription for just about any kind of drug, your travel insurance will pick up the tab or reimburse you for the expense. Once again, this can end up saving you a lot of money and help you to stay healthy while visiting another country.

Emergency Evacuation Coverage

You could potentially be hundreds—if not thousands—of miles from the closest hospital if you suffer an injury or become ill while traveling through a remote region of the world. But with the proper medical insurance, you can get emergency evacuation coverage too. That means that should you find yourself in need of medical attention and unable to reach a medical center on your own, a helicopter or other form of transportation will be dispatched to retrieve you and deliver you to the nearest facility. In some cases, you can even request to be transported home to the hospital of your choice. Be careful, though. Not all policies offer evacuation coverage, and an emergency flight can cost a pretty penny.

Emergency Reunion

Should you experience a serious illness or accident that prevents you from being able to travel home, most travel insurance policies will cover the expenses for a family member, such as a parent or spouse, to come visit. Those expenses include airfare and accommodations to your destination.

24/7 Emergency Hotline

Most travel insurance companies offer a 24-hour, 7-days-a-week emergency hotline that is available to answer questions, recommend hospitals and doctors, provide directions to pharmacies, and coordinate evacuation or rescue operations. That same hotline can also help you recover a lost passport, wire money if yours is lost or stolen, help recover lost travel gear, and more.

Other Benefits

Purchasing a travel insurance policy brings some extra benefits aside from health and medical coverage. For instance, it also protects your investment. We all know that travel can be expensive, and unexpected things can happen along the way, so most travel insurance plans also offer trip cancellation coverage to reimburse your expenses if for some reason the trip doesn’t move ahead as expected. The coverage will typically pay out if flights are cancelled due to bad weather, a natural disaster occurs, a tour operator scams you out of money, or other issues bring your dream vacation to a halt.
Other common benefits include reimbursement for expenses brought on by a trip being delayed by missed connecting flights and for lost luggage. With a travel insurance policy backing you up, the sting of those disappointments is greatly diminished, as is the strain that is put on your savings account. Many travel insurance policies will even provide a life insurance payout to a beneficiary if someone should pass away while traveling.
The cost of travel insurance varies depending on the length of the trip, as well as the destination and planned activities. Generally speaking, though, it is usually priced competitively enough that just about anyone can afford it. Considering the coverage it provides, good travel insurance is probably something that most people can’t afford to be without.

If you’re sensible, you probably select your romantic partners based on looks, character, and compatibility. But you might be surprised to learn that you also unconsciously choose a partner for a few other reasons that are important to be aware of.

Mate selection is as old as our species, and quite honestly not much has changed. Our ancestors picked viable partners for survival and procreation purposes, and although we would all like to think that we have evolved beyond those primitive instincts, we are still picking our short- or long-term partners for some of the same reasons.

Before technology came to dominate all our social interactions, there was something called flirting. Remember that concept? You would see someone across the room, have a moment of connection, and send a whole slew of signals that could easily be interpreted as interest. But what is it that pulls you toward that one potential mate instead of all the others in the room (or on your current dating website)?

Many people would say that the most important part of selecting a partner is chemistry. People have to feel attracted to the person before they’ll even consider them as a viable option.

It turns out that what we call chemistry is a bit more interesting than simple sexual attraction, though.

I recently attended a relationship conference with a keynote presentation by Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist who has spent an enormous amount of time studying pair bonding and the human relationship as it relates to love and desire.

She describes romantic love as the most powerful brain system, and her research has shown that it’s not any different from our pre-wired fear system. Not surprisingly, romantic love is universal, it’s not gender specific (although men fall in love faster), and it’s actually considered to be a physical drive just like the one that tells you to eat.

Fisher presented her research-based findings on why we pair bond. It turns out that 97 percent of mammals don’t pair up at all, so this idea of choosing a life partner is almost unique to the human species. Originally our ancestors partnered up because survival and raising children would be nearly impossible alone, but we now know that this primitive form of partnership has evolved into much more—with greater demands on each partner’s role and the level of needs that have to be met.

Although our conscious reasons for choosing that special someone have evolved along with the modern-day purposes for a life partner, there is still this unconscious evolutionary selection process happening beneath the surface, and it’s based on three motivations.

Number One: Genetic Incompatibility 

Major histocompatibility complex (MHC) refers to a particular set of genes you inherit in your immune system, which are your body’s chemical defense system against intruding aliens. Each of us inherits our own version of this complex set of genes. 

According to Fisher we are regularly attracted to individuals who have a different genetic profile to ensure that we bear more varied young and that we can co-parent with a wider array of parenting skills. We do this through the sense of smell, so we can literally “sniff out” the partner who has the greatest chance of being the most different genetically. In other words, this is a way to prevent inbreeding, and it also ensures that your children will be healthy and have strong immune systems.

Number Two: Procreation 

One of the main reasons you choose a partner is because you are designed to have children whether you want them or not. Although you can shut down your conscious desire to produce offspring, your instinctual system is still at play, pulling you toward a partner who will give your children the best genetic advantage and chance of survival. 

When you find yourself attracted to someone, part of your evolutionary system is focusing on build, body type, facial shape, and ability to either provide (hunt/gather) or nurture (caregiving). This is something to keep in mind when you find yourself attracted to a particular type that may not actually be the best fit for you.

Number Three: Brain Chemistry 

Some of the most interesting work Fisher has done involves understanding the brain chemistry behind romantic love. Certain parts of the brain and particular neurochemicals get triggered when we feel attracted to someone and ultimately fall in love. 

The neurochemical dopamine—part of the “reward” system in your brain—triggers the sex drive and the desire that pulls you toward a lover. Ultimately the reward transitions into bonding and attachment, and this is when a real relationship is formed. This system of brain chemistry evolved for the survival of our species, and it still kicks in today regardless of your longer term intentions or how you ultimately feel about the person.

These factoids on your love life may not be too romantic, but it’s always helpful to understand what’s going on beneath the surface so you can be more in control of your behavior, emotions, and decisions when it comes to finding a suitable partner.

Too many of us end up in the wrong relationship with someone who appeared to be right only to realize that what we saw in them didn’t turn out to be what we got.

Motherhood is an eternal gift that offers amazing life lessons. Having children changes you on the deepest level, and it also shifts your perception of the world. The level of responsibility and pressure around raising a decent human being can feel overwhelming and sometimes impossible, but no less rewarding.

The skill of parenting is both learned and intuitive. Certain parental qualities are inherited through role modeling or early caregiving experiences, but much of what a woman knows about being a mother is evolutionarily wired into her. The contrast between what comes in as knowledge and what is inherent can create conflict and confusion around the “right” way to parent.

Many women find it hard to trust their natural maternal instincts and feel the pressure to turn to books, experts, and doctors for answers that they can receive on their own by building self-trust and honoring the deep-seated knowledge that comes with being a mother.

As a therapist and mother of two grown children, I wanted to share a few tips that I learned by trial and error, and by honoring my own intrinsic instincts as opposed to my education.

You’re good enough, you don’t need to be great. You don’t need to be perfect in your parenting. Children learn as much from what you do wrong as from what you do well so trust the learning that comes with the messiness.

You’re a human being before you’re a mother. The maternal identity is very strong and a beautiful part of who you are, but you are always a human being first. Remembering this will allow you to be compassionate and vulnerable—two important qualities for a mother.

When your children leave the nest you’ll feel lost and untethered for a long while. It’s hard to prepare for this day, but it inevitably comes. Be prepared to feel like you’ve lost a limb, because when you dedicate your whole life to something there is always a loss when it’s gone.

Even your worst parenting mistakes won’t make a dent in the love you’ve provided. Avoid obsessing over small things like becoming impatient or forgetting something on the calendar because most of the time you’re providing amazing care. A little goes a long way with your children so trust the power of your love.

Worrying is a maternal instinct not a sign that you’re overreacting. There is no way you can avoid worrying about your children on every level. Worry is a natural parent of being a mother because you’re responsible for your children’s well-being. Allow it to happen and trust that it’s part of your instincts.

Remember to always put your oxygen mask on first. Self-care is the first thing to go with parenting. Taking care of yourself is a way of role modeling self-value to your children. They need to know that Mommy’s health is important because then they will respect this about you and themselves.

Know that even when your advice gets rejected it’s still sinking in. Kids hear more than you realize, and they do take things in even if they seem like they’re ignoring you. You only need to say something once because they will take what they need and reject what they don’t.

No matter how cool you try to be you’ll always be embarrassing. We all want to be “cool” when it comes to our kids, but you are embarrassing simply because you’re a parent. Being “friends” with your kids is not a healthy goal. You are the adult and they will respect that about you.

Savor all the moments in the car even when you’re sick of being a chauffeur. The undivided attention you get while in the car is unparalleled. Take advantage of this alone time when you have their attention by staying off phones and trying to make conversation.

Learn to let go before you actually have to do it. Letting go is a long process so don’t wait until you have to do it. Practice little pockets of letting go each time they separate a little more. It’s easy to ignore it, but take it in and let it affect you as it happens.

If you want your child to use less technology then try doing it yourself first. Put down your phone and make it a point to be together in real time. This modeling will teach them more than your nagging or complaining about their screen time.

Get intimate with your intuition because it knows more than your brain ever will. Trust your gut and what you feel because you are intuitively wired to “know” as a mother. Your brain will be filled with what you think is right, but what you know in your heart is what matters.

Be a better listener than talker. Sometimes it’s better to just listen than talk. Give your kids a space to vent without giving input or advice. This lets them uncover their own strength and trust their own process of self-discovery and learning.

Model vulnerability if you want the same in return. This is the “go first” method where you show your feelings and share your thoughts as a role model for your kids. This lets them know that it’s safe to share because mom does it.

Find the balance between freedom and trust because you can’t have one without the other. Freedom is earned through trust when it comes to parenting. The more they honor and respect the freedom they’re given, the more they will want to build trust to maintain it.

Make sure the skill of sharing feelings is as valued as grades or awards. It’s easy to get over focused on accomplishment, but emotional intelligence is even more important. An expressive and emotionally aware child will get much further than one who is only book smart.

Let your kids struggle because it’s an inherent part of the human experience. We live in a time of helicopter parenting, but you have to let your kids struggle so they can learn to be resilient and to tolerate difficult aspects of life.

What you do counts way more than what you don’t. When you feel guilty for not spending enough time with your children you can make up for it by simple moments of high-quality time. They will remember the time spent together more than the time apart.

Being present is the greatest gift you could ever give. We can all be better at this, but making a conscious effort to put everything down and pay attention when your child wants to engage with you will allow you to be present and available in a new way.

If you want to raise good human beings be one yourself. You are a role model, and if you can remember this you’ll make choices and behave in ways that are aligned with how you want your children to be. They notice what you do and say, so practice being a good human all the time.

Who has time for exercise? Well, if you want to lose weight, you should. But if you are someone who has tons of obligations between your family schedule, work responsibilities, and a busy social life, you might need to work out during your lunch hour. If a lunchtime workout is your best option, here are the realities of working out at lunch and how to make sure you get your workout done no matter what.
It’s easy to say you will work out during your lunch break but sometimes the reality is tricky.

• Do you change clothes?
• Is time on your side?
• Are your coworkers supportive?
• Do you have flexibility?
• How close are you to a gym?

For some people, working out at lunchtime is easy. Their company has a gym on the premises and encourages employees to exercise. That’s your best case scenario, but it’s not all that common.
If your workplace doesn’t have a gym, here’s how to overcome some of the real challenges of working out during your lunch hour.
1. Determine how long you have.

If you get a 60-minute lunch break, you will be lucky if your workout runs to 30 minutes. By the time you leave your office, change into workout clothes, get to where you are going to work out, get your workout done, and reverse the process, an hour will fly by.
Be okay with a good 30-minute workout because that’s better than nothing. Make the most of your time by doing a workout that burns calories fast and gets your heart rate up. For example, if you are walking or running, alternate your speed using fast and slower intervals to burn more calories. If you are at a gym, use circuit training to increase your calorie burn.
2. Have everything you need.

It stinks to be ready to work out during your lunch hour and realize you’ve forgotten your shoes or don’t have the right undergarments. A friend of mine who regularly works out at lunchtime has two workout bags, one she keeps at home and one she stores under her desk. That way she is never caught without her shoes, socks, or other workout equipment.
3. Explore workout options near your work.

There may not be a gym within driving or walking distance of your office but is there a kickboxing studio, a barre workout studio, a yoga studio, or a martial arts dojo? Any of those options can give you a great workout and likely has a changing area.
If none of the above is available, hit the streets and take a walk or run.
4. Get freshened up.

After a good 30-minute workout, you will be a bit sweaty. If you are at a facility that doesn’t have showers, you’ve got to clean up in your office bathroom. It’s not impossible to feel fresh after a workout if you are prepared.
Have a clean towel in your gym bag, deodorant, a bar of soap or body wipes, and extra makeup if needed.
5. Enlist management support.

If you find it challenging to work out during lunch because of a lack of facilities or time, ask for support from your office management.
Talk about options like converting an unused office into a gym with a few treadmills and a set of weights, being flexible with lunch times, or offering discounts on health insurance for people who exercise regularly.
The reality is that many businesses are facing increasing health care costs and having employees who are healthier improves their bottom line. For this reason alone, you may be surprised by the positive feedback you get when making your request.

Dating and dieting can be tricky. It’s been a while since I dated, but I’ve got kids who date and friends who are back on the dating scene after divorces or other relationship-changing situations. It’s hard enough to stick to your diet when it’s just you, but throw in a budding relationship—where dinners out and movie popcorn are the norm—and you’ve got the potential for a dieting disaster. Here are four practical suggestions for staying on track while your new relationship takes off.

Take Control of Date Planning

Do your waistline a favor and offer to take control of planning the date. That way you can decide where you want to eat, what the evening activities will be, and know in advance what dieting challenges to be prepared for. Of course, it’s just good manners to ask for input from your date.

For example, instead of going to a restaurant with foods you have a hard time saying “no” to, choose a restaurant that has a variety of foods, including some healthy options you actually like. Or, instead of eating out, plan an active date of hiking, walking through a museum or botanical garden, or riding a bike down a trail.

Think Before You Drink

Water is always a safe choice and doesn’t pack on the pounds, but during a date you might want something more fun. Before you get a second glass of wine, refill your sweet tea, or order another cocktail, remind yourself that drink calories count and add up quickly.

Here’s a quick guide to calories in soda, tea, and alcohol:

• 16 ounces of cola averages 176 calories
• 5 ounces of red wine averages 126 calories
• 12 ounces of regular beer averages 153 calories
• 16 ounces of sweet tea averages 150 calories
• A 6-ounce glass of gin and tonic averages 143 calories

For your second glass consider switching to water, diet soda or tonic, or sparkling water.

Order Wisely

Some restaurants offer the option of a standard portion or a small portion. Always default to the small portion if possible to give yourself a chance at sticking to your calorie budget. Pay attention to the calorie counts if they are listed on the menu and choose an item that is lower in calories. Remember that losing weight is about calorie balance.

Another smart ordering strategy is to ask if your date wants to split an entrée with you. After all, part of dating is learning if you have similar tastes, right? If he or she doesn’t want to split a meal, eat the portion you would have eaten if you had split the meal and leave the rest on your plate or ask for it to be boxed up.

Stay Mindful and Focused

It’s easy to get swept away in the emotions of the dating relationship. But it is not impossible to stay focused on your goals at the same time. It just takes being mindful about your choices and focusing on what’s good for you.

When you eat out, go to a movie, or stop for a coffee at the end of a date, keep both your life and your health goals in mind. Both are equally important for a healthy, happy you.

Kids seem to be born critics. From the time mine were small they had strong opinions about the clothes they wore, the activities they participated in, what time they should go to bed, and the foods they ate. Of course, that’s all part of growing up, but the challenge for parents who are trying to lose weight is to shift their children’s opinions of healthy eating. Because let’s face it, a lot of kids would rather have chips over carrots and cheeseburgers over grilled chicken.

Here are seven ways to get your kids to buy into healthy eating. It will be good for them and make weight loss easier for you.

1. Shop as a family

In my book, I recommend shopping alone so you can focus on your list and not be swayed by your children’s whims and wants. However, if your kids are old enough to be reasoned with, start taking them food shopping with you. Show them nutrition labels, talk about how the grocery store is laid out, and let them experience what it’s like to select fresh fruits and vegetables.

2. Talk it up

We are a family of talkers. Our dinner table topics range from politics to gardening and everything in between. Talk about healthy eating with your kids in a positive way. This is especially important if you are making a big shift from unhealthy eating to healthier selections.

3. Ask for input

As you plan your meals, ask your children what their favorite meals are. If they want your totally unhealthy tater tot casserole, do some internet research together and find a healthier alternative.

Check out these veggie tots- kids will have no idea they’re healthy for them!

4. Slowly replace junk snacks with healthy ones

It’s always a good idea to rid your pantry of unhealthy foods when you are starting a diet, but it’s trickier to do that when you have a family. After all, you don’t want a rebellion on your hands. Slowly replace junk snacks like cheese crackers, packaged sweets, and candy with healthier ones. As the junk food runs out, buy a better alternative. Some kid-friendly snacks include:

• Low-sugar granola bars
• Pretzels
• Cheese sticks
• Hummus and whole wheat crackers
• Dark chocolate squares (you might have to dole these out so they don’t disappear all at once)
• Fruit
• Cut-up vegetables and dip

Kids still craving candy and junk food? Try making healthy homemade versions of their favorite grocery store snacks.

5. Get them cooking

One of the best things I did when making a total lifestyle change was involve my kids in the cooking process. Remember that even young children can help cook with proper supervision. As you prepare roasted vegetables or get ready to roast or grill the meat, explain different cooking processes. If your kids are anything like mine, they will more readily eat food they help prepare.

6. Don’t ditch dessert

We still have dessert regularly even though I’m all about healthy eating. If you try to take away all the food treats in your kids’ lives they will be unhappy and definitely not buy into a new healthier lifestyle. So have dessert but do it in a smart, weight loss friendly way. Make it special, serve small portions, and don’t overanalyze it with your kids. Just show them it’s okay to have treats as long as it’s in moderation.

7. Lead by example

If you’ve been making changes for yourself and are finally losing weight because of those changes, don’t stop now. Your younger children probably won’t pay attention to whether you’ve lost weight, but your older kids will definitely notice. Stay committed to improving your eating habits. Kids often emulate what they see. What better habits to follow than your example of making good food choices day after day?