Tag: balance

Mothers are inherently selfless. From the day they look into the eyes of their first born child, a mother instantly puts their needs second behind their beautiful new child. A mother will go without to make sure their kids needs are met…and sometimes will go without simply to go over and above what their child requires. When I was younger, we had to strategically plan birthday and holiday gifts for my own mother, to make sure she would enjoy them, and that there was no possible way she could turn around and use that gift on us kids instead. She would have done (and still would do) anything to see us happy, even if it results in her own misery.

It’s just what moms do.

But while this selflessness is indeed instinctual, it may not always be for the best…for mom OR the kids. Case in point: exercise, and more specifically, finding the time to do it.

As a fitness professional, I work with new (and experienced) moms all of the time. Hands down the number one issue moms have when it comes to fitness, running, or training for a race, is finding the time to fit in their workouts. As to be expected, moms tend to put their family’s needs first. Little Joey has baseball practice, and Suzy has ballet practice, and someone needs to cook dinner and do dishes and fold the laundry, and even though the baby is napping, I should vacuum instead of finding time for myself, and the husband had a long work day so we don’t want to bother him for help, and…your get the idea. The list goes on and on. Mom’s needs come last, and if they don’t, there is often a lot of mom-guilt felt.

But it shouldn’t always be that way. Taking the time out of your busy day to put in a training run doesn’t make you a selfish mom. If anything, it can make you a BETTER mom. And here’s how:

You’ll be happier. Ever heard the saying “when mom is happy, everyone is happy”? Well, it’s true. Exercise, especially running, is a proven stress fighter and mood stabilizer. You’ll be able to handle the next toddler or pre-teen disaster without literally crying over spilled milk.

You’ll be stronger. When my kids were babies, I used to joke that I was glad I worked out regularly, because it made toting a toddler on my hip that much easier. But now that they are 8 & 6 years old, and still need the occasional lift from mom (such as the time my 6 year old fell, scraped his knee, and was convinced it was the end of the world), I’m even MORE glad that I take the time to train. Those kids are heavy.

You’ll be healthier. You are there for your kids today, but do you think about being there for them in another 10, 15, or 20 years? The future is never guaranteed, so it is important to take care of your body NOW, before it’s too late. Regular exercise like running provides countless benefits. Lowered risk of heart disease (the number one killer of women in our country), lowered risk of cancers, lowered risk of type two diabetes, lowered risk of osteoporosis…the list is endless. Sacrificing short periods of time away from your kids now to get exercise will help ensure you get MORE time with them in the future. Trust me, they’ll appreciate that more in the long run.

You’ll sleep better. Ahhh, sleep. Sleep can be one of the most elusive necessities in a parent’s world. Regular exercise has been proven to help you fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly. And regular, restful sleep will make you happier, stronger (as your body recovers and rebuilds from your workouts during the night), and healthier. Do you see this great pattern going on here?

It’s good to spend time apart. From a social and developmental point of view, it is really good for your kids to learn not only how to be away from you, but how to interact with other trusted adults. The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” was coined for a reason; everyone contributes to the growth and well being of your child differently . So instead of feeling guilty for spending time away from your kids, think of the quality Dad/Aunt/Grandparent etc. time they are getting instead. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, after all .

But, the one that is most important in my opinion…

Your kids are watching you. It’s true, believe it or not. Even though it may not seem that way when you may have to repeat to little Johnny one hundreds times to turn off the TV and clean his room, your kids ARE listening and watching every little thing you do. When you take the time for yourself to go for a run, you are teaching your kids countless valuable lessons, such as the importance of making time for yourself and the importance of exercise. They will witness first hand the sacrifice and payoff that comes with setting, training for, and achieving a goal. Don’t just talk about these important life lessons with your kids, SHOW THEM.

So, just because you are mom does not mean your wants and needs must always be at the bottom of the totem pole. Set a great example for your children by showing them that not only is your health a priority, but you as a women respect yourself enough to make YOURSELF a priority as well. I promise you, it will pay off in the long run. (Pun totally intended.)

Smoke floats in front of Wendy Lewis as she takes a machine gun and peppers her once pristine wedding dress. And so a new trend begins sweeping not only America but the entire world: divorce parties.
While engagement parties are a timeless event, divorce parties are even hotter. With divorce rates fluctuating between 40-50% it only makes sense that this would follow.
Why not grab your closest group of friends and celebrate your newest milestone…freedom!
Companies are cashing in on this relatively new idea. Packages range from low costs to those that are seemingly astronomical. For each bash, women and men’s needs are catered to specifically; everything that’s been previously restricted is fair game. Taking a wedding dress to the rifle range or going to a golfing range are just some of the many activities a divorce party planner can concoct for your trip. “Barely Survived” to “I Got It All,” are some of the cheekier titles to these weekend getaways.
Of course what’s the most important item for a party like this? A cake! A divorce cake is an absolute must and the plethora of designs are just as incredible as you imagined. The most common cake you may ask. Well, it  typically shows a bride dragging a groom towards the trash…classy right?
Although divorce parties sound like all fun and games they’re actually credible reasons why this type of gathering may be the best thing for you. Therapist Christine Gallagher describes reasons why divorce parties are not only fun but are therapeutic as well.
Many divorces are wrought with sadness and anger so throwing a party is a great excuse to laugh again and just be crazy, specifically with those that love and will never abandon you. Their willingness to stick alongside you during this arduous process is a testament to their steadfast devotion that is missing in many romantic relationships.
It’s also highly uncomfortable when you have to reveal to acquaintances, whether it’s through social media or summer picnics that yes, in fact you are no longer married. This absolves all of the unknown that may be lurking. One of your girl friends or guy friends can just snap a shot of the festivities, upload it to Facebook, and voila, you’ve got it taken care of.
If a divorce party isn’t your style you could always go ahead and try a Divorce Hotel. In the Netherlands, a company is attempting to have couples celebrate their divorce – together. It’s meant to serve as a quick and amicable solution. Check-in is on Friday. You go through break-up counseling the entire weekend to resolve and finalize feelings. Come Sunday, you sign the divorce papers, toast one another with a glass of champagne, and then proceed on your merry way.
Some people go for a more subtle approach. Leona Metcalf went through a grueling divorce over the span of five years. Poking fun at the “Just Married” decorations many cars are adorned with she plastered “Just Divorced” onto the back of her truck. Cans clattered against the asphalt from the courthouse all the way to her home and she couldn’t be prouder. People were shouting ‘you go girl,’ and ‘what a cool idea’ leaving her feel empowered once more.
Although divorce parties sound like just an excuse to get drunk (which they are) they also serve a greater purpose – closing a chapter on one’s life that unfortunately didn’t end as planned. Because as the old saying goes, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” infused with vodka of course.

By nature, I’m kind of a loner. I’m an introvert who works on writing every day whilst alone. Not exactly a recipe for oodles of friends, right?
But for most of my life, I didn’t feel like I needed oodles of friends. I was perfectly happy reading and writing most of the time, meeting and greeting only when totally necessary–until I was sidelined with a health condition that kicked my butt for the better part of two years. Two years of chilling at home, trying to get better, watching the outside world pass me by, and being unable to take part.
When you have something taken away from you, no matter what it is, you long for it. So when I finally healed, you better believe I had an undying itch to be social. Problem is, I don’t have a normal 9 to 5 job, and therefore do not have a regular friend group.
However, I creatively solved that problem in a few ways. Let’s take a peek.

Get active in your city.

There are usually tons of events around your city, most of which you probably aren’t attending. How do you find out about these little gems? A few ways. First of all, at the most basic level, I look at flyers; 90 percent of these are “meh,” but around 10 percent are kinda interesting. I’ve found out about mixers, wine tastings, author readings, and beer crawls this way.
Also, if you’re not on it, find out if your city has an active Meetup scene. Mine does, and there are so many cool things to do. You can go rock climbing with fellow adventurers, hit the trails with other hikers, sip Pinot with vino lovers, or just mix it up with other professionals in your age bracket. Plus, everybody is there to meet new people, so the likelihood of being iced out is virtually zero.

Start convos with random strangers.

Sometimes I see people who just look interesting, don’t you? Maybe they’re engrossed in a book or sipping a coffee beverage that looks amazingly delicious. And I want to talk to ’em! But since we live in a world where people don’t really know how to interact with others (thanks, smartphones), sometimes these interactions feel scary and uncomfortable.
But don’t ignore the opportunity in these random encounters. Pick people who seem social and chat. My strategy for this is eavesdropping (yep) or commenting on a gadget or item said stranger has in their possession. If it’s a book, tell them you’ve “been meaning to read it! How is it?” If it’s a gadget, ask them how they like it and say that you’ve been checking out a new phone/tablet/laptop/etc. People have also used this concept on me; it works just wonderfully, by the way.
Ultimately, you only have to talk about the conversation starter for a hot sec; if the person is welcoming, ask questions about other things. If the person doesn’t seem interested in continuing to chat, abandon ship with nothing lost.

Use tech to meet IRL.

Yes, you can use apps to mingle and meet, not just date. For instance, I recently talked to the communications director at Tinder who insists the app was designed and marketed as a networking device–not a hookup tool or a dating destination. Currently in a relationship, she uses it to network her way all over the globe.
You can use more basic social media to connect to others in real life. For instance, a fellow freelance writer in my area found me on Twitter and asked if I wanted to grab coffee because we had a ton of mutual interests. I said of course! She quickly became one of my good friends.
If you choose to do something like this, though, meet in a public area you know well, and definitely don’t ignore any bad vibes. (Your gut doesn’t lie.)
The bottom line: Use social media to actually enhance your social life. If it’s not doing that, it’s a time-suck.

Do something you love and something you would never do normally.

I suggest two things: Sign up for an activity you love and pursue an interest you would never normally jump into.
Why? You tend to meet like-minded people when you do the things you love. And it’s comfortable. So start here. If you take that cooking class or attend that poetry reading, you’ll have instant conversation starters for those who also attend, on topics you know well and actually enjoy. (Yay!)
Then again, sometimes your horizons just need to be broadened. If your current friend group is ho-hum, try something you’d normally turn down. Like parasailing. Or a triathlon. Or an art class. When you choose, think about what sounds fulfilling to you–for instance, training hard to complete a marathon or getting in touch with nature by hiking. Anything that you imagine and think, “it’d be cool if I could do that.”
You might find that your favorite hobby was hiding beneath a pile of self-doubt, and you also might just meet your new best friend in the process.
At the end of the day, making friends is all about the effort you put in. The more welcoming energy you put out into the world, the more you will get back. So smile at people. Be kind to people. Ask questions when you’re curious, and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and face a little rejection. If an interaction doesn’t go well, it’s not the end of the world.
You have so little to lose, and so much to gain.

The modern office is a veritable mine field of unspoken rules and potential faux pas. Nowhere is this more evident than the office break room, particularly the communal fridge. Some people treat it like it’s their own private fridge, without regard for fellow co-workers. They’re the absolute worst.

Don’t be the worst.

There are a few simple guidelines for office fridge and general break room etiquette that will ensure you never become THAT guy or gal. For the sake of every one of your co-workers, follow them!

Don’t Eat Other People’s Food

This shouldn’t even have to be said, but don’t eat other people’s food! Come on, are you in kindergarten? Eating someone else’s lunch shows a total lack of respect and empathy for those around you. It’s hard to trust someone with that important project if you can’t even trust them not to eat your sandwich.

Label Things

If someone is bold enough to eat another person’s lunch, a Sharpie probably won’t stop him/her. However, labeling your food, especially common items like yogurt, will help avoid confusion. Dating food isn’t a bad idea either. If you keep milk around for morning coffee or cereal, write the date it was opened on the carton. Your co-workers definitely don’t want to be involved in making an artisanal batch of office yogurt.

Pick Up After Yourself

This seems like another obvious thing some people don’t comprehend. No one else wants to involved in a makeshift science project, so, for the love of all that’s holy, throw away your old food! Not only is moldy food patently gross, It’s also taking up valuable real estate. You know, for food that’s not fuzzy.

Don’t Be a Hoarder

Some people like to bring a week’s worth of lunches in on Monday and stack them in the fridge. Don’t do this. It might seem really convenient for you, but it’s rude to take up way more space than you actually need for the day. Planning ahead and making a five days worth of food is fine. In fact, it’s responsible. But how about you store that Tupperware Jenga in your own fridge and bring one meal each day?

Be Realistic

It’s good that you don’t want to waste food. It doesn’t hurt to be realistic, though. Let’s face it, you’re probably not going to eat the last three bites of that Italian sub or chicken penne later. Go ahead and throw it out. There’s no need to crowd the fridge with good intentions.

There Are Certain Things You Don’t Heat Up

When it comes to an office break room, there are considerate people that don’t heat up seafood and then there are monsters. Considering how shrimp, crab and fish smell after being heated up, it’s a wonder that anyone saves Red Lobster leftovers at all. But some people do. They either have a non-functioning sense of smell or a total disregard for making the break room smell like low tide at the wharf. Seriously, the smell does not go away. Please, we’re begging you, keep the leftover salmon at home.

Learn To Use The Microwave

Speaking of heating things up…Learn how to use the microwave. You don’t need to heat up pasta for seven minutes. All that will get you is a burnt tongue and a microwave that looks like a crime scene. Also, use the popcorn button! The only thing that smells worse and lasts longer than reheated seafood is burnt popcorn.

Respect The Coffee

If you drink the last cup of coffee, it’s your duty to make a new pot. This is one of the oldest break room rules in the book. It’s probably in the Constitution somewhere. Your fellow workers depend on the magical elixir to get them through the day. Don’t deny them that.

Now that you’re educated on proper break room etiquette, don’t be afraid to preach the gospel to your co-workers! Oh, and, check that coffee pot one more time, just to be sure…

There’s nothing quite as jarring and soul crushing as the sound of your buzzing alarm clock at 6:30 a.m. At least for some of us.

“Some people are larks and some are owls,” says Mary Fristad, PhD, professor of psychiatry and behavioral health, psychology, and nutrition at OSU Harding Behavioral Health at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. “It has to do with your personal biology. If you’re a lark, you wake up ready. If you’re an owl, you likely went to sleep late and prefer to sleep late.”

If you’re anything like me, and you’re an owl, you may have these thoughts running through your head every time you’re called to rise: “Just 10 more minutes, please.” If that sounds familiar, here are some ways to get moving in the morning.

Position your alarm clocks correctly.

Do you ever sleep right through your alarm or shut it off accidentally? (*raises hand*) You might need to move it across the room, says Fristad. “It might be that you need to position it to physically get up and turn it off, and that act will help you wake up,” she explains. “Also, know what helps you get in the right mood. Do you need an irritating buzzer to get up, or lovely music to soothe you?” Try both, and see which works.

Adopt the right mindset.

Snooze, snooze, snooze. Not only is hitting that button breaking up your sleep so you don’t feel as well rested, but it’s also putting you in a lethargic, I’ll-get-to-the-waking-up-thing-later mood. “Incorporate into your morning mindset that when the alarm goes off, you get up,” says Fristad. “Whether or not you want to. It’s a mental commitment, and it’s a plan.”

Up your breakfast game with wake-up foods.

If you’re sleepy in the morning, yes, you can hit the coffee for a little caffeine boost—but also try to avoid overdoing it with carbs. “You’ll just feel sleepy again,” Fristad says. “Instead, opt for a breakfast with protein.” Some examples? An egg-white omelet with your choice of veggies, or a Greek yogurt with seasonal berries.

Find the right motivation to move it, move it.

Sometimes, you need a reason to wake up in the morning. Fristad suggests keeping a gratitude journal. “Write down three things you’re thankful, from that day, at night before bed,” she says. “It can be as simple as a sunset. And then, also, write down at least one thing you’re looking forward to for the next day.” Fall asleep with that in mind. Also remember that from the moment you wake up, you’ll be hyper-productive for the first two hours of your day. So, use that as motivation to get busy…not snooze your alarm, amble to the coffee pot, and mindlessly answer emails until you “get around” to real work.

Shake up your evening screen activity.

If you’re struggling to wake up feeling well rested in the morning, adjust your routines. Fristad says that all the gadgets we look at can mess with our sleep cycles. “Screen time is a big thing, but shutting down isn’t realistic. You need a variant of that,” she explains. The solution? Reducing exposure to the blue light that prevents melatonin production will help us get to sleep and stay asleep. “There are orange glasses now that help filter out that blue light,” says Fristad. “And just that can be enough to help the brain produce those hormones that help us sleep.”

Beyond that, remember that your body can only handle roughly one-hour swings in wake-up time. So, even on weekends, attempt to get up at roughly the same time. You’ll feel more primed with sleep, and ready to get your day going.

And when in doubt about your ability to handle your morning? Espresso (wink, wink).

A little more than five years ago I talked to my doctor about how I was having trouble sleeping, which lead to daily fatigue. I think it was my neurologist that initially started me on various sleep aides. I tried each of the major sleeping pills one-by-one and none seemed to help me sleep, until I tried Ambien. I’ve continued to use it off and on ever since.

I don’t use Ambien every night or even close to it, in fact it takes me six months or more to go through a 30-day supply, but if I have to be awake early in the morning, or I just can’t seem to get to sleep, I’ll take it.

I seem to go in cycles, going months without taking a single pill then taking it daily for a few weeks. I’ve been on a 10mg dose from the beginning. So, when I heard a 200lb ex-army guy talking about the trouble he had waking up from it and how he had to cut his pill in half if he wanted to get up in the morning I was really surprised. The guy is almost twice my size and I’m taking twice the amount he is. Typically, when I do take it I’m up and wide awake in eight hours (or less). I’ve rarely ever had a sleep hangover after taking Ambien.

Then a few weeks ago I overheard two women having a conversation about sleeping pills and one of them said something about Ambien interfering with REM sleep. What? That can’t be. I sleep so well when I take it and wake so refreshed I have to be getting quality sleep, including full cycles of REM.

Don’t I?

I decided to do a little research into my little bedtime buddy – Ambien. I hadn’t really done this previously because it seemed that it wasn’t causing me any negative side effects.

Interestingly, the first thing I came across was a 2013 announcement from the FDA [decreasing the recommended dosages by about half. The current recommended dosage for females is just 5mg! Half of what I’m taking. Why did they do this? Because they found that a large percentage of users were waking up with the drug still in their system leading to morning drowsiness and fatigue.

But does Ambien Interfere with REM sleep?

According to three different (albeit small) studies (Besset et al, Dujardin et al, Uchimura et al) that I found, the rumor that Ambien affects REM sleep isn’t true. In fact, it doesn’t seem to negatively alter any stage of sleep.

So, why do people think that Ambien interferes with REM sleep?

My guess is that it’s because the older and more common benzodiazepine sleep aids (eg. Valium) actually do negatively affect sleep cycles. According to the same studies mentioned previously, benzodiazepine drugs decreased both stage 3 and 4 sleep. Benzodiazepines are intended only for short-term use and have a high risk of addiction and abuse. Ambien is considered a non-benzodiazepine sleep aide, meaning that it works in a way that is similar to benzodiazepines but not quite the same.

Non-benzodiazepines (also known as Z-drugs) are not as habit-forming as benzodiazepines, although I guess I can see where anything that helps you get a good night’s sleep can eventually become habit-forming.

That’s not to say that Ambien doesn’t have other side effects. I already mentioned the potential for a sleep-hangover and morning drowsiness if you don’t get at least eight hours of sleep. But, there is also an increased risk for depression or gastric reflux. Then, there are the even worse side effects, like decreased motor control, impaired judgement, hallucinations, and even anterograde amnesia (the inability to form new memories).

There are also those who end up sleepwalking, talking, and eating while on Ambien. I had one friend that called me three times in one night to tell me the same thing. I found out the next morning that she’d decided to try to get some work done after taking Ambien and she didn’t even remember calling me.

If that’s not bad enough, a 2012 study by Kripke, Langer & Kline indicated that you are five times more likely to die of a heart attack or cancer than those not taking these drugs. Scary stuff!

Maybe it’s time to find some alternative ways of getting better sleep.

References:

Besset A, Tafti M, Villemin E, Borderies P, Billiard M. Effects of zolpidem on the architecture and cyclical structure of sleep in poor sleepers. Drugs Exp Clin Res. 1995; 21(4):161-9.

Dujardin K, Guieu JD, Leconte-Lambert C, Leconte P, Borderies P, de La Giclais B. Comparison of the effects of zolpidem and flunitrazepam on sleep structure and daytime cognitive functions. A study of untreated unsomniacs. Pharmacopsychiatry. 1998 Jan; 31(1):14-8.

Kripke, D. F., Langer, R. D., & Kline, L. E. (2012). Hypnotics’ association with mortality or cancer: a matched cohort study. BMJ open, 2(1), e000850.

Uchimura N, Nakajima T, Hayash K, Nose I, Hashizume Y, Ohyama T, Habukawa M, Kotorii N, Kuwahara H, Maeda H. Effect of zolpidem on sleep architecture and its next-morning residual effect in insomniac patients: a randomized crossover comparative study with brotizolam. Prog Neuropsychopharmacol Biol Psychiatry. 2006 Jan; 30(1):22-9.

Who doesn’t hate looking down at their nails only to find nasty yellow stains? You could always hide them in your pockets. I prefer a better, more permanent solution. I’ve made the horrible mistake of leaving my polish on too long only to remove it and find yellow looking nails. So how do I fix the problem?
Don’t worry. You don’t have to resort to chemicals or expensive treatments at a nail salon. Just dig through your kitchen and bathroom and you’re ready for gorgeous, whiter nails. Stop hiding your nails and try some of these amazing nail whitening hacks.
Prepare Your Nails
I know you’re excited to get rid of the yellow, but be patient. You have to prep your nails first. Spending just a few minutes on prep makes all of these hacks that much more effective.
Start by removing any polish and washing your hands. I know it’s scary leaving your nails bare right now, but they’ll be white soon. Grab your favorite nail buffer and buff each nail for a few seconds so the treatment penetrates deeper.
Now, you’re all prepped and ready to start whitening. See, it was quick and easy.
Lemon Juice to the Rescue
Lemons aren’t just for flavoring water and food. They’re your best friend for whiter nails. Okay, I need to throw in a quick disclaimer here. Lemons are acidic. If you have any dry, cracked skin around your nails, these treatments will sting a little.
My favorite part of using lemons is you have several lemon based treatments to choose from.
Keep it simple by putting lemon juice on a cotton ball and rubbing it on your nails. You could also just rub a lemon wedge on them instead. This is as simple as it gets. Plus, who doesn’t like a fresh lemony scent?
Leave the juice on 10 minutes or let it dry and stay on overnight. It’s completely up to you.
Need a deeper clean? Yeah, I’ve been there too. Just make a lemon paste from lemon juice and baking soda. Use a toothbrush to scrub onto your nails and wait for 10 minutes. Rinse and enjoy the thrill of whiter nails.
Brush Your Nails
Brushing your nails sound a little strange? Don’t brush off this idea just yet. I keep a travel sized tube of whitening toothpaste on hand just for cleaning my nails.
Get an old toothbrush and any whitening toothpaste. Brush your nails gently for a few minutes and let them sit for 5-10 minutes. Just like that, you have minty fresh nails that are white and shiny.
Buff Away Stains
If you’re really lucky, you might get to stop with the pre-treat stage. I usually wait too long, but if your nails are just starting to get a yellow tinge, it’s buffing time! Spend approximately 20-30 seconds per nail.
Don’t give in to the temptation to paint them all over again just yet. Give your nails some time to breathe. Not literally of course, but air helps prevent yellowing.
Denture Soak
You might not have denture tablets on hand, but they’re useful for more than just cleaning false teeth. Don’t be embarrassed to buy them. I’m always happy to tell cashiers about my DIY nail whitening treatment.
Prep the tablets based on the package. Try to buy whitening tablets. They’ll work much better.
Dip your nails in the denture soak and relax for 10-15 minutes. You might need to do this once a day for several days for full whitening.
White Vinegar for Whiter Nails
I know it smells, but it works so well. Besides, what’s worse? Smelling vinegar for a few minutes or hiding your nails all day? Vinegar it is.
Only do this with white vinegar or you’ll worsen the stain. Apply undiluted vinegar to a cotton ball and rub over your nails. Let your nails dry. If the smell bothers you, rinse after 10 minutes.
I prefer to soak my nails in a small bowl, but the smell is rather strong. Try it both ways to see which works best for you.
Hydrogen Peroxide Soak
No first aid kit is complete without hydrogen peroxide to clean the wound. The wonder disinfectant also whitens nails. I know, I was surprised at first too.
Mix three parts water with one part hydrogen peroxide and soak your nails for at least 10 minutes. Don’t worry if the water bubbles a little. This just means the solution is doing its job.
Deep Clean With Baking Soda
Your favorite odor eater is a natural nail whitener. Steal a little from your fridge to rid yourself of those icky yellow stains.
Mix water and baking soda until you get a thick paste. I always make mine extra thick so it stays on better. Rub it onto your nails and get ready for some quality TV time. This treatment has to stay on for 30 minutes. Plenty of time for your favorite sitcom.
Beautiful Nails With Strawberries
It’s so hard not to eat all the strawberries before they reach my nails. Go ahead and set a bowl to the side to snack on. All you need is three or four to treat your nails.
Strawberries don’t just whiten your teeth. They also whiten nails. I like the simple method best. Cut a strawberry in half and rub the inside against your nails.
If this doesn’t work for you, add in a power boost with baking soda. Smash three or four strawberries in a bow and mix with one teaspoon of baking soda. Apply to your nails and leave on for up to 10 minutes.
I love doing this as part of my mani-pedi. It smells wonderful and keeps my nails looking beautiful.
Essential Oil Saves the Day
We’ve made it back to lemons for this one. Skip the fruit this time and pick up some lemon essential oil. It’s a little less harsh, so I recommend trying this one if the other lemon treatments sting too much.
Add three drops to a small bowl of water and soak your nails for 10 minutes. Rinse when you’re done.
I know no one wants to think about fungal infections, but they do wreak havoc on nails. If the yellowing is from an infection, don’t fear. Use tea tree oil instead of lemon oil. You get a natural treatment for both the yellowing and the infection. It’s a win-win!
Prevent Yellowing
You’ve finally got the yellow stains gone. A week later and the stains are back. I’ve been there and it makes you feel helpless. It’s okay. I just changed up my nail care routine a bit and now yellowing is rare.
Find your favorite whitening treatment and use every time you remove your polish or after doing anything that tends to stain your nails.
I know you love your nail polish, but take a break now and again. Try not to leave any polish on for more than 10 days. Let your nails have a 24 hour vacation before you cover them up again.
Don’t forget to give yourself a regular manicure. The buffing portion removes build up so your nails stay cleaner and stains stay far away. Do all this and I promise you’ll notice less yellowing over time.
I challenge you to take your hands out of your pockets. Show off your nails with pride. A few quick whitening treatments and you’ll have white nails that’ll make all your friends jealous. What are you waiting for? Whiten those nails!

If I had to pick one question that I get asked most often by my patients it would be, “Am I ready for a relationship?” Week after week I sit with forlorn and lovesick people who are desperate to find love and terrified that they never will.
The inquiring minds on my couch want to know:
-Can I trust my judgment?
-Will I pick the wrong person and get hurt?
-Am I lovable?
-Will I ever meet that special someone?
Coming out of bad breakups, divorce, and toxic relationships, the men and women I see have eroded self-trust and a lack of confidence in their ability to find and sustain a healthy, loving relationship.
Most of us never get the education or role modeling we need when we’re young to manage our interpersonal relationships as adults. As a result we fumble and blindly stumble through relationship after relationship until we finally begin to realize that there might be a better way.
“Relational health” is not a familiar concept for most people, yet it’s the cornerstone of well-being for all of us.  Your relational health is defined as the quality of your interpersonal relationships with the barometer being your own sense of happiness.
As a human being, you’re wired for love and connection, and you were evolutionarily designed to connect and bond. Because of this you will do anything to feel connected, including engaging and staying in unhealthy dynamics to preserve the attachment to a partner.
In essence, your relationships are crucial to your survival in the same way a baby needs a caregiver to stay alive.
How did something that’s supposed to be so natural become such a struggle?
The reality is that we’re complicated and so are our lives. What we think we want and what we actually need are often very different. I have had patients come in with lists that look like scrolls containing all of the qualities and characteristics they’re looking for in a partner.
He has to be funny, responsible, kind, and handsome. She has to be fit, ambitious, witty, and artistic. This is what they’ve been taught to look for and value in another human being, and what they think will ultimately make them happy with that partner.
These are what I call the conscious qualities that we look for in someone, but there are unconscious qualities that live out of awareness. The unconscious qualities are not in consciousness because they have either never been brought to awareness or we don’t feel entitled to want them.
Below your conscious thinking lives a whole world of unmet needs, unwelcome feelings, and some of your own characteristics that were never appreciated or nurtured.
The truth is that most of us live as partial versions of ourselves and look for someone to complete us. We search for the missing pieces of our most authentic self in a potential partner with the hope that we will feel whole once we’re partnered and in a relationship.
This is the “you complete me” syndrome, where the hope of one or both partners is to become whole in the relationship.
Two halves usually make a whole, but when it comes to relationships each partner needs to be fully whole for optimal relational health. The most authentic and fulfilling relationships will come from finding the person who compliments and supports your most authentic self.
If you have an unconscious need for freedom you’ll do best with someone who can tolerate distance and your independence. If you unconsciously fear abandonment you will need to find someone who has the capacity to be present and available.
While this sounds fairly straightforward, it’s only possible to get this right if those unconscious needs, feelings, and parts of yourself are brought to awareness. When they remain repressed you unconsciously seek to repair your childhood wounds by re-enacting the same dysfunctional dynamics with a partner.
Instead of finding a stable and responsible partner you’ll find an unavailable partner and spend months or years trying to feel safe with someone who can’t give you what you need.
Taking the time for introspection and doing a deep dive to truly understand your relationship history is a first step toward relational health.
The high rate of divorce and the ever-increasing numbers of people waiting longer to get married tell us that rushing into a relationship is not always a good way to go.
If you have the time and patience in your life to actually prepare for your next relationship, you’ll increase your chances of sustaining a fulfilling and long-term partnership with someone who is good for you.
We all want to believe that love just happens, but it doesn’t.
You have to seek love, but you’ll never find it if you haven’t first found yourself. When you know yourself deeply, and when you can embrace your humaneness, loving another human being becomes possible.
Without introspection and a deep understanding of who you are and what you need, real love will evade you.

There are plenty of risks associated with not getting enough sleep. At the same time, there are plenty of studies that Ambien, the most popular sleep aid in the country, has some pretty serious risks of its own. So, it feels a bit like a Catch-22. Perhaps the answer is not in a drug but in finding other ways to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Personally, I’ve found that diet and lifestyle choices affect my sleep more than anything else. Eating certain foods too late in the evening, or even eating a large meal can keep me from sleeping well. Alcohol certainly doesn’t help me sleep either. One glass of wine doesn’t hurt, but more than that and I’ll be tossing and turning instead of sleeping soundly.
Before resorting to medications that could cause more harm than good, try a few more natural approaches. Sure, everyone is different, but chances are, one or more of these simple tips will help ease you into the good nights sleep you deserve.

• Be Good to Your Gut: Avoid eating large meals late in the day. This decreases the likelihood of heartburn or indigestion keeping you awake. [LL1] Keep dinner small and eat no later than two hours before bed.
• Herbal Help: Drink an herbal tea before bed that includes a combination of tulsi, ashwagandha, chamomile, skullcap, and valerian root.  Valerian root alone is known to be a good sleep aid. The others help fight stress, making it easier to relax.
• Take a Bath: The magnesium in Epsom salt helps relax muscles, and going from the warm bath to a cool room helps your body temperature drop. A lower body temperature actually helps you sleep better.
• Cool the Room: You will fall asleep and sleep better in a colder room. Consider setting your thermostat timer to decrease the temperature by five degrees at bedtime. Alternatively, sleep with only a sheet and forgo the heavy blankets.
• Lights Out: Cover any lights on your electronics with tape so that the light is not visible in the dark. Even the smallest light can keep you from sleeping well.
• Screens Off: An hour before bed, turn off all electronics. The flickering and brightness of the screens will often prevent your brain from shutting down.
• Dim Your Reader: If you read on an e-book device turn the brightness down as low as possible, and flip the colors so that you are reading white text on a black background.
• Stock Up on Protein: If you often wake up hungry in the middle of the night, eat a small protein-rich snack just before going to bed. Avoid heavy carbs that will keep your stomach working. A handful of almonds, or macadamia nuts, is your best choice.
• Exercise: Those who get regular exercise during the day (but not right before bed) typically report better sleep. Consider going for a brisk walk after dinner.
• Stick to a schedule: When you have trouble sleeping it’s often easy to just try to stay up until you can’t stand it anymore, but that will actually make your sleep problems worse. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day.

I’d love to say that I stick to all of these religiously, but I don’t, which is probably why I end up taking Ambien occasionally. There are a few of these that even Ambien won’t overcome (like alcohol and eating too much).
I have found that sticking to a regular bedtime schedule and routine definitely helps me sleep better. About an hour before I want to be asleep I turn off the television and take a nice warm bath with Epsom salts, while drinking my herbal tea. After the bath I climb in bed with my tablet and read an ebook (white text on black background with the brightness set as low as possible) until I fall asleep. With any luck I stay asleep (more or less) until morning.
Do you have any other tips for improving sleep naturally? If so, share them in the comments below.

We all know an obviously toxic person. This person just screams bad energy. He may have a serious temper problem. Or she may have a tendency to shoot off about seemingly innocuous things more often than can possibly be healthy–for her to obsess over, or for you to hear.

More than likely, you’re not a glutton for punishment; you have scooted away from said toxic individual with stealthy success. (Go, you!) However, there may be more toxic people lurking in your circle than you realize.

I am someone who is very intentional. About everything. I don’t speak unless it adds to the conversation. I don’t do something unless it enhances my life. And I don’t consistently spend time with someone unless they’re worth the investment. If you spend time with toxic people, you’ll find that they will slowly but surely bleed you dry emotionally.  

I realized long ago that time and energy are both finite. You can only devote yourself to so many people–and you should never forget that friendships and relationships are two-way streets. You’re supposed to get something back when you give something away.

I’d rather have five really amazing people in my life than 5,000 who suck the life out of me. Don’t you agree? If you’re feeling socially taxed, then it’s time for a social cleanse. Here are five types of people you should separate yourself from pronto.

The Executor Of Excuses

This person always has an explanation for his poor behavior. Did he snap at you? He was under a lot of stress. Did he disappear for a week? He was super busy at work. Did he turn a simple comment about the girls at work into a criticism of your actions? He didn’t realize “you’d take it that way.” On the surface, this person is often level headed, articulate, and smart. Which is why he can talk his way out of anything.

In fact, the beauty of people with this personality is that they always have a reason for why they behaved so insensitively–meaning this behavior is fixable. Changeable. A total anomaly. Like, as soon as circumstances shift ever so slightly, so will they.

Be realistic, young grasshopper. Is this person actually going to change? The reasons he acts like this are simply excuses. Don’t be fooled.

The Woe-Wallower

Think of this personality as Eeyore from the childhood classic Winnie the Pooh. Woe. Is. Me. This individual is sulky, problem-plagued, and constantly offloading that baggage onto you. They don’t ask about your life. They simply tell you how bad things are going…for them.

You might think you can save them. I mean, think of all the sage wisdom you possess (amiright?) Welp, this is a fallacy. Just try giving the woe-wallower advice when they bring up their problems. They will nod in agreement and then proceed to ignore the obvious course of action to change their situation.

They enjoy wallowing for attention. No one’s problems are worse than theirs: a fact they will broadcast to anyone who will listen. Don’t let that be you. This person will just drag you down.

The Jealous Jane

There’s a good chance this person is an old friend–in your life long enough that they’ve compared your successes to theirs for years. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This personality will never be happy for you when something goes well and will always be a bit dissatisfied with their own life because yours looks better.

Jealousy is dangerous, and it’s hurtful. This person will likely–knowingly or unknowingly–incite fights with you and talk behind your back. She may make snide comments about your promotion at work or the cute thing your boyfriend did for you. She will probably change the subject if you talk about the cool trip you’re planning to Europe…all in an effort to cast a dark cloud over your happy circumstances. It might feel tough to nix this friend from your circle because of your long history, but ultimately you deserve better than having someone perpetually rain on your parade. Friendships should build you up.

The Pot-Stirring Pollyanna

This personality likely claims to “hate drama,” yet drama follows her wherever she goes. She’ll usually be up on the latest gossip, and talk–innocently, of course–about friends behind their backs (“out of concern” or some such excuse). She’s typically the one to “accidentally” bring up the offhand comment you made about throwing a party–in front of the person she knows you did not invite. This will be passed off as an “oops” moment, or sometimes she’ll quietly slip away while you clean up the mess she created.

This person is not always easy to spot, because their claims and their actions do not align; it’s easy to miss negative behaviors if you’re busy absorbing those pretty words. But if you suddenly realize that you’re constantly involved in petty drama whenever you’re with her? Run, don’t walk.

The Lazy Leech

Maybe you knew this personality in college, and he was the life of the party. Whenever you get together now, the occasion usually begins with fun and good times. Slowly but surely, however, things start to decline: he forgets his wallet and doesn’t pay his tab at dinner or asks you to be best man at his wedding…even though you haven’t heard from him in years.

If he’s not putting genuine effort into the relationship on a regular basis–or sometimes, even his own life–except when it’s convenient for him or he needs something from you, you’re better off ignoring that call when his name pops up on your phone. His lack of effort is probably leading to some unnecessary resentment in your life, and it’s not innocuous. It’s toxic energy. (And he’s not really a friend. He’s a leech.)

Here’s the deal. Ask yourself these questions about each person you think of bringing into your life:

– Does this person add to my life?
– Do I consistently give far more to this relationship or friendship than they do?
– Are they sucking the life out of me every time I’m with them?

The answers to that quiz should be yes-no-no. If they aren’t, it’s time to nix ’em.