Tag: balance

When damning photos recently surfaced suggesting Ewan McGregor was cheating on his wife of 22 years, fans were shocked. Many took to social media to express their dismay that the Hollywood heartthrob wasn’t the “good guy” they had once thought, while others posted messages of support on his wife’s Instagram.
These reactions are typical of many tales of infidelity, which often have a similar result: sympathy for the cheatee and vilification of the cheater. But what about the perpetrator’s side of the story?
As much as it hurts, infidelity carries heavy, but important, life lessons for everyone involved, including the cheater. While this doesn’t always have a positive impact on both parties, it’s an experience that leaves a lasting impression nonetheless.
We spoke to five women who cheated to hear about their regrets, motivation, and, most importantly, lessons learned. We’ve changed their names to protect their identities. How did cheating change them, and what can they teach us about relationships and ourselves?

The Question of “Why”

Anyone who’s ever been cheated on knows the torment of that one question: Why did they do it?
Cheating may seem like a morally black and white issue. But much like relationships, every instance is unique and can even be quite complicated.
So why do people cheat? Is it because they’re bad people? If that was the case, then a lot of Americans would fall under that umbrella. According to one survey, 19 percent of Americans have cheated on a partner. But as much as the word “cheater” is thrown around as a derogatory label, cheating can happen for many different reasons.

The five women who shared their experiences had very different stories to tell. One cheated as a response to being cheated on, another reached out to someone else at the end of a dying relationship, and there was more than one case of infidelity as a means to seek comfort from an abusive relationship.

Reason and Recovery

No matter the reason, Sofie says that cheating on someone is “never ever worth it—even if your partner is abusive or neglectful.”
“The particular flavor of sickly guilt is awful, and it will make you a worse person to have to build up the hundreds of micro-lies needed to get away with it,” she says.

Because of this emotional burden, Sofie isn’t optimistic about the future of any relationship where cheating has occurred.
“I personally don’t think a relationship can recover fully from infidelity, whether it’s discovered or not,” she says. “As I said before, the relationship has now had to weather hundreds of big and little lies, and the cheater is always afraid of punishment—while the cheatee is always afraid of further infidelity.”
Chelsea has also noticed that being unfaithful can wreak havoc not just on a relationship, but on a cheater’s mentality.
“After I cheat, I always get an intense jealousy feeling, like how they mention the jealous ones are usually the guilty ones,” she says. “Because that’s exactly how I feel afterwards. When I don’t cheat, I don’t get that feeling at all.”

One commonality between almost all of their stories is that the cheating was a symptom of a less than ideal relationship.
Kat learned the hard way that cheating can be a lesson on “how to fall out of love with someone.”
“I got so involved in the relationship, and everything felt so good, and I couldn’t possibly imagine how it would ever end, nor did I want to,” she says. “I see now how unhealthy that mindset was, and I understand how to be realistic about love.”

“Maybe next time (s)he’ll think before (s)he cheats.”

Cheating often happens when a relationship has stagnated. When things reach that point, it’s better to just end things rather than cheat.
“A one-sided break-up is always going to be painful, but you are doing a huge kindness to your significant other by being honest and ending things without delay,” she says.

Jess has cheated on multiple partners in the past and agrees that it wasn’t the right reaction to a loss of attraction. She says she should have instead realized that her desire to cheat was a sign that things weren’t working.
“I should’ve broken up with my first and last ex when I felt very tempted to cheat, because I knew in my gut that I was unhappy in the relationship,” she says.

… it’s never had anything to do with my current partner.

However, cheating isn’t always about the other person. Sometimes infidelity is simply a reflection of what’s going on with the cheater. Zoe has realized that she has a tendency to sabotage her relationships by cheating.
“For one thing, it was a step on the way to learning how deeply self-destructive I am,” she says. “I do things that I know are terrible because in some way, I want them to bring me down. It’s a problem. I’m working on it.”

Chelsea says that her cheating has no connection to how satisfied she is in her relationship.
“For me, it’s never had anything to do with my current partner,” she says. “We could have a perfect weekend away, and then an ex could text me, and I’d consider meeting up.”

The Picture of a Cheater

We’ve all watched enough movies and listened to plenty of heartbroken friends to learn that cheaters are always the villain of the story, right? Not always. It’s difficult to humanize someone who cheats without appearing to excuse their actions. At the same time, it’s important not to reduce someone to their actions alone.
“Different circumstances lead to different actions,” says Sofie. “People change.”
Much like Sofie, Jess doesn’t agree with the old adage of “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While she’s cheated in relationships in the past, she can’t see that happening with her current partner of three years.

“There are many cheaters who cheat shamelessly and notoriously on many or all partners, but not everyone who cheats fall in this category,” she says. “It also doesn’t mean that the next relationship a ‘past cheater’ enters is doomed to also result in cheating.”
Her previous transgressions were a reaction to what she now realizes were abusive relationships. She says she’s never come close to being unfaithful in her current relationship and has resisted advances from others many times since—even from one of her partner’s close friends.
“I always decline their offer and refuse to give out my number because I’m happy and have no hidden feelings of curiosity about what else is out there,” she says. “Because my significant other is literally perfect for me, inside and out.”
Jess’ partner is well aware of her cheating in past relationships. She believes you should always disclose past cheating in a new relationship.

… I wanted to give him the opportunity to choose to be with me or not, given the full disclosure.

“Not everyone agrees with being so transparent or talking about their past, but I saw a long-term future with my significant other and wanted him to know who he was getting in bed with every night and planning his future with,” she says.
“This may seem contradictory because I don’t believe cheating defined me or the trajectory of my future relationships, but it’s a taboo in our society for good reason. It shows that the other partner may have a certain level of distrust for the partner who cheated in the past.”
Being open about her history did make commitment a little more difficult in the beginning of her relationship. But Jess knew it was important to let her partner decide if she was the person he wanted to be with, baggage and all.
“I didn’t want to mislead him by the omission of my two past cheating transgressions, and I wanted to give him the opportunity to choose to be with me or not, given the full disclosure,” she says. “We weren’t official for a few months as a result, but now it’s a non-issue.”

Surprise-Side Cheating

If these women’s stories tell us anything, it’s that our view of the heartless cheater isn’t always accurate. The circumstances surrounding their actions definitely challenge those negative assumptions, especially when abuse is involved.
One surprising revelation is that cheating doesn’t always come with regrets—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. This is certainly the case for Jess, who cheated on her ex with her current partner.

“I’m not proud of cheating, but I don’t regret it because I wouldn’t have been in the place in my life that I was when I met my significant other if I hadn’t been in a relationship with my ex,” she says.
The stigma surrounding cheating dictates that it should always be regretted. A display of regret plays a big part in how likely they are to be forgiven or excused for cheating. If someone doesn’t regret cheating, then what’s to stop them from doing it again?
The thing is a person can show remorse for their actions but still not regret them. By showing remorse, they fully acknowledge how they’ve hurt someone else and take full responsibility for their actions.
As Jess has shown, it’s possible to feel remorse for cheating but still not regret doing it. She was previously in an abusive relationship; after discovering she’d cheated, her ex kept her captive for hours. Even so, she’d do it all over again to be with her current partner.

“While our beginning was condemnable and morally wrong, and I lived through depression and PTSD from my ex finding me out, I would still live through that all over again and make those same choices to be with my current significant other.”

What Makes a Cheater?

Given that there are many factors that can lead someone to cheat, there’s really no formula to predict if you or someone you know is capable of cheating. Sometimes infidelity is a result of a toxic relationship, but other times it’s simply a reflection of one person’s issues. But they do provide some insights for people who feel they may cheat or have cheated before.

I shouldn’t have let it consume me because it doesn’t define ‘me.’

If you have cheated in the past, you might not be dealing with the issues that have stemmed from the guilt. This is something that Jess had to face for her own mental wellbeing.
“I needed to learn how to forgive myself,” she says. “I carried a shameful burden for two years after cheating on my third ex for my current significant other.”
Just like Sofie explained, Jess felt the weight of her guilt for a long time.
“At the beginning, when I started cheating and sneaking around, I fell into a deep depression that stemmed from guilt,” she says. “It ate away at me on the inside—lying to my ex and leading what felt like a double life. I knew I should feel badly for what I had done, but I shouldn’t have let it consume me because it doesn’t define ‘me.’”
Of course, the best way to avoid these issues is to stop before it goes too far—even if you think your interactions with that other person are innocent.

“Emotional infidelity is just as serious as physical and almost always leads to the latter,” says Sofie. “Don’t fool yourself that ‘nothing happened’ if you’re talking to some guy like he’s your partner every day.”
She’s learned that it’s crucial to be realistic about how tempted you might be.
“If you’re worried that you might cheat, just don’t put yourself in any stupid situations,” she says. “Don’t drink around the person you fancy. Don’t text them. Don’t feed the crush. If you need to get out of your relationship, do that first, then think about whether you still want to chase this new person. If you don’t want to leave your relationship, water the grass there.”
Sofie’s message is blunt, but she speaks from experience. Cheating hurts, especially if that relationship is going to continue after the truth comes out.
Zoe cheated on her partner five years ago and says they’ve since “come back from it.” For her, cheating showed her just how much power she had over her partner’s wellbeing: a discovery that hurt them both.

“I realized how much power I have in my relationship, for lack of a better term,” she says. “I hurt him more deeply than I thought was actually possible. I knew he would be angry when I told him—and I did tell him, right away—but I didn’t realize he would be so sad.”
“He really loves me. Like, a lot. That doesn’t seem like it should have been such a revelation after four years together, but there you have it. Whatever thrill it gave me to mess around with someone new wasn’t worth losing that.”

Did you hear the one about the fossilized teeth that were found in Germany that

.

According to research and interviews from National Geographic, the teeth were likely from a pliopithecoid, a member of an extinct superfamily of primates that predated the evolutionary split between Old World monkeys and apes, the latter of which later split off into another two categories, one of which contains humans.

Basically, these teeth are about as related to humans as your third cousin twice-removed’s roommate is to you.

Trying to find the cold, hard tooth, er, truth about teeth is a difficult task. And through the years, you’ve likely heard a thing or two about teeth that has left you scratching your head, making you wonder if you need to clean your ears or if what you were told is actually correct.

Here, we chomp down on some of the most common dental myths around and find out whether or not they have any real bite to them.

Myth 1: Pregnant women don’t have to worry about bleeding gums; they’re just sensitive because of the pregnancy.

Did you just floss, or did you turn into a sloppy vampire? If you’re not sure, there’s a chance you could be pregnant.

of the little guys are crawling around your mouth as we speak. And although that’s slightly more than a bit creepy, it’s totally normal.

“All of us share our mouths with thousands of species of bacteria,” Simon says. “Most of them don’t cause any problems, but some bacteria eat the same things we eat—especially sugar and carbohydrates—that get digested to become sugar.”

“As they consume the sugar, they produce acid that can create holes in our teeth, and thus, cavities are formed. Without the bacteria, sugar couldn’t form cavities; however, science hasn’t figured out a way to eliminate the bacteria that lives in our mouths!”

Until that fateful day, make sure to get your brush and floss on daily.

Myth 4: The more often and harder you brush, the healthier your teeth will become.

You know that feeling when your teeth are so covered in sugar that they seem to be growing hair? And to get rid of it, you brush your teeth until they are within a few inches of their lives? While it makes sense that scrubbing your chompers with some serious power is the best way to remove that icky film, it can actually do more harm than good.

“While brushing and flossing frequently is an important health habit, brushing with too much force can damage the gums and teeth,” Simon says. Instead, “always use a soft toothbrush, and don’t push very hard while brushing in small circles, angling towards your gums.”

Myth 5: You should brush immediately after every meal.

If you’re tempted to reunite with your toothbrush as soon as you finish swallowing your last bite of food, hold off for just a bit. Even if you think your food is attempting to make a lasting impression on your breath, it’s a good idea to allow it to marinate for a bit.

“You should brush after every meal; however, waiting a while immediately afterwards allows your saliva to restore the pH balance of your mouth and makes it less likely that you will remove layers of tooth enamel along with the plaque and bacteria,” says Simon.

If you can’t wait or just aren’t able to tend to your pearly whites anytime soon, Simon suggests chewing some sugar-free gum. It can increase the flow of saliva and help protect your teeth.

Myth 6: Poor dental hygiene alone is the cause of bad breath.

Sure, everyone has less than fresh breath after certain foods, but brushing, flossing, and mouthwash usually get the job done. If you find that you have a foul mouth more often than not, however, it may not have anything to do with your oral cavity.

“Bad breath can be a sign that you need to brush and floss, but it can also indicate more serious conditions,” Simon says.

“Mouth infections like periodontitis can cause bad breath, and so can medical conditions like liver disease or complications of diabetes. If you notice bad breath along with other symptoms, this can be an important thing to talk about with your doctor or dentist.”

Myth 7: You’ll eventually lose all of your teeth.

Getting dentures seems to be a rite of passage for most, and many believe that they are destined to a life of false teeth. After all, how many grandparents do you know that still rock their entire OG adult tooth set? You probably don’t know many, but this doesn’t have to be the case for everyone, says Simon.

“With proper care and regular dental visits, anyone can expect to have their teeth for the rest of their lives,” she says. “Losing teeth isn’t a normal sign of aging, and even people who are at high risk of tooth decay can work with their dentist to protect and keep their teeth.”

Dental care is serious business and is something you shouldn’t neglect. Not only can being a little lazy cause gum disease and problems with your teeth, poor dental hygiene can also result in serious problems with your health. In fact, cardiovascular disease, endocarditis (an infection in the lining of your heart), and premature birth and low birth rate are all linked to inadequate dental care.

So the next time you feel like skipping a flossing session or don’t want to brush, remember that your mouth—and your body—want you to stop being a slacker, and just do it already.

Are women inherently more jealous than men?

It’s certainly a touchy subject, and with good reason—the trope of the jealous woman can be extremely damaging. After all, how many “overly attached girlfriend” memes can you take before you start to snap?
Nobody likes being painted with a broad brush, and it’s infuriating when a man won’t take a woman seriously because he assumes that she’s simply “being jealous.” It’s an inescapable stereotype that harms our careers and relationships.
Still, to address these types of harmful stereotypes, it’s important not to shy away from them. We decided to look into the science of jealousy and determine whether men and women process the emotion differently—and, if so, whether those differences have a biological basis.

Men and women get jealous about different types of things, and they differ greatly in how they respond to those triggers.

Before we get started, we want to make a few important points clear: Statistics don’t apply to individual cases, and reputable studies can easily arrive at inaccurate results. Keep those in mind before using this piece in an internet argument (and, by the way, men are more likely to dominate internet arguments, but that’s an entirely different discussion).
With that said, we weren’t quite prepared for what we found. For starters…

Current research suggests that yes, women are more likely to display certain types of jealousy than men.

Hold on, guys. Don’t start celebrating just yet, because we’ve got some major caveats.
In a 2005 study, researchers evaluated nearly 500 fifth- through ninth-grade participants, providing them with hypothetical scenarios and asking whether those scenarios made the participants upset. Girls were more jealous over their friends and non-friends than boys. According to one of the study’s authors, this was perhaps because “girls tend to expect more kindness, loyalty, commitment and empathy from friends than boys do.”

Of course, this research didn’t measure romantic jealousy, and the team didn’t evaluate any adults. With adults, the matter becomes considerably more complicated—as does just about everything in adulthood.
In a population-based twin study, Swedish researchers found that women were more likely to display jealousy than men when confronted with emotional or sexual infidelity. (By the way, we wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t point out that the researchers used something called the Screening Across the Lifespan of Twins Younger sample—or SALTY, for short.) The study also showed that jealousy probably has an evolutionary component.
However, this doesn’t mean that men aren’t more prone to feeling certain types of jealousy. That’s because…

Research indicates that men and women process jealousy differently.

Quick: Would you be more upset if your partner physically cheated on you, or if your partner fell in love with another person?

Chapman University researchers presented that question to nearly 64,000 Americans and found that about 65 percent of heterosexual women said that they’d be more upset by “emotional infidelity” than “sexual infidelity,” as opposed to 46 percent of men.

Heterosexual men are the only ones more likely to be most upset by sexual infidelity.

In bisexual and gay couples, there wasn’t as much of a statistical difference between men and women, regardless of the sex of their partners.
However, heterosexual men are more likely to experience jealousy from sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity.

“Heterosexual men really stand out from all other groups,” said psychologist and lead author David Frederick in a statement accompanying the study’s release. “They were the only ones more likely to be most upset by sexual infidelity.”
This gives credence to a fairly common evolutionary theory that isn’t perfectly politically correct. Strap in.

Some scientists believe that there’s a biological basis to our responses.

Wait, what? Our biology can make us jealous?
Well, potentially. The prevailing theory is that men are more jealous when women cheat because the infidelity could threaten the man’s lineage.

“With men, sexual infidelity on the part of a partner provokes a greater upset,” Joel Wade, PhD, professor of psychology at Bucknell University, tells HealthyWay. Wade studies mate selection criteria, reactions to infidelity, and love acts from an evolutionary theory perspective. “You can [argue that] worries about sexual infidelity produce more jealousy because it’s a paternity-certainty issue.”
To be clear, Wade rejects the idea that women are more jealous than a men overall, at least when controlling for social factors. He also says that there’s no special difference between the way that the sexes feel jealousy. Wade simply believes men and women get jealous about different types of things, and that they differ greatly in how they respond to those triggers.
“There’s a sex difference in the responses to jealousy,” Wade says. “Men are more likely to respond in a violent fashion than women are. Socialization plays a role, because, more historically, being aggressive [or] violent was considered more of a masculine than a feminine thing.”

Wade also suggests that biology could play a role here. Men have higher levels of testosterone than women, and higher testosterone levels are associated with “violent physical responses.”
Like we said, guys, don’t start celebrating: You’re more likely to get whipped into a frenzy after you discover that your partner is cheating.

Why, then, are heterosexual women more likely to experience emotional jealousy?

Possibly for a similar evolutionary reason—they want the man to remain close to the family unit and therefore see emotional attachment as a threat to that unit’s stability.

We asked Wade whether socialization could also play a role in the way that people respond to jealousy.
“Typically the reactions are very quick, without a lot of thinking, they’re almost automatic,” Wade says. “Even though [jealousy] gets reinforced socially, the actions themselves are, you could say, ingrained, hard-wired.”
“The socialization pattern is different in the United States compared to, let’s say, southeast Asia, or perhaps even a tribe in the Amazon … and the response is similar,” he says. “Those people aren’t being socialized the same way. How is it that they can have the same basic response? Biology plays a big role here.”
We’d add that study participants certainly had time to think about their responses when filling out their questionnaires, so while emotional responses may be biological to a degree, there’s still a social factor.

Even so, the science seems pretty clear: Women are more likely to become jealous over emotional attachments, and according to the surveys and studies we could find, they’re more likely to experience jealousy overall.
Is there any silver lining here? Sort of.

Jealousy isn’t always a bad thing.

“Most people think of jealousy as this horrible, negative thing, which it is a negative emotion, but it’s here for a reason,” Wade says. “It’s actually functional.”
As strange as it sounds, evolution plays a role in our emotions, and jealousy evolved for a reason. Some time in our distant past, that response served a vital purpose. Your great-great-great-grandmother’s jealousy might be the reason that you’re reading this article today.

“There’s an area that we look at called mate retention,” he says. “…You want the partner to stay with you. Jealousy could provoke mate-retention behaviors, because if somebody else is interested with my partner, or my partner is interested in someone else, then I need to step up my mate-retention behaviors. I could become more loving, give more time, show more commitment. Those would be positive things.”
Show your partner that you’re jealous, and you’ll likely prompt a response; in some cases, that response could keep the relationship together.

Jealous is here for a reason. It’s actually functional.

Of course, too much jealousy can be detrimental to a relationship. While a 2013 study found that closer partners tend to experience more jealousy, the authors cautioned against using the findings to justify the emotion.
“The key lesson from this study is that being ready to become jealous over relationship-threatening events is itself a signal that the relationship is worthy of such a strong emotional reaction,” the authors wrote.

In other words, jealousy can be a good sign of a healthy relationship, but it’s not something to strive for.
“If one gets jealous all the time, that’s probably going to create problems, because in any successful relationship with a partner there has to be some degree of trust,” Wade says. “If one is giving the message to a partner that they really don’t trust them, then that’s going to create problems in the relationship.”

And while the evolutionary argument is compelling, don’t ignore the social factors.

As we wrote earlier, the “obsessed, jealous girlfriend” trope is inescapable, and stereotypes undoubtedly influence the way that women respond to jealousy. Case in point: Remember this girl?

Yes, even our internet memes reinforce the idea that female jealousy is absolutely everywhere (although we still love Laina—seriously, she’s awesome). When confronted with these stereotypes (such as in memes or see any teen drama on TV), people are more likely to act badly and conform with those stereotypes. Social factors, however, can be extraordinarily difficult to study.
Research has also linked jealousy to low self-esteem, and in Western countries, there’s an enormous self-esteem gap between men and women. It’s not much of a stretch to suggest that in a perfectly equal society, the “jealousy gap” would shrink (or even disappear).
Unfortunately, we can’t study a perfectly equal society.
Jealousy has both biological and social components, so before you attempt to explain away your partner’s emotions as an evolutionary holdover, keep this in mind: The scientific explanations for jealousy are fascinating from an academic perspective, but practically useless in our everyday relationships.

While there are quite a few perks to womanhood across the societal board, employment isn’t an area we’d normally associate with those perks.

… across the American jobscape, women make 79 cents for every dollar men make.

Gender inequality in the work place has been around for decades, and it hasn’t improved dramatically as of late. A few industries, though, seem to give women an advantage—or at least a break. But not without adversity.
Dr. Suzanne L. Holt, professor of women’s studies at Kent State University, believes that philosopher and feminist theorist Marilyn Frye’s ideas of a double bind— or “situations in which options are reduced to a very few and all of them expose one to penalty, censure or deprivation”—help explain what women are up against in the workplace.

“There’s a cost to playing the ‘woman card,’ to rolling with gender rules,” Holt says. “Women at work, if they hope to take on leadership roles or advance ‘up the proverbial ladder,’ face predictable predicaments.”
Holt argues that women are measured by “masculine” standards. If they underplay their gender, they aren’t “female enough.” If they play up their gender, they typically fail at their jobs. Essentially, women are presented with no-win situations.
“It’s the ‘damned if you do and damned if you don’t’ double-bind,” says Holt. “The language of gender insists on extremes and opposites: and we buy it too often.”
With all the news of harassment and discrimination in the workplace, it sounds impossible that women can actually have an advantage over men when it comes to employment. Here, though, are two industries that are making that happen…somewhat.

Jobs Where Women Have the Advantage

Producers and Directors

Hollywood may not be as generous towards its female actresses as it is towards males, but there is one area in which the ladies are cleaning up: behind the scenes.
According to CBS News, female producers and directors earn 106.2 cents for every 100 cents made by their male counterparts. Annually, that adds up to about $66,226 for women and $62,368 for men.

This is significant, as across the American jobscape, women make 79 cents for every dollar men make.
Even though women in these positions are making it rain, men still dominate the field. Only 21 percent of film producers and directors are female.
A study conducted by the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media revealed that women are poorly represented onscreen, as well.

Only 31 percent of speaking roles are given to women, and when they are, women are typically portrayed as less than powerful—at least when it comes to the professional world. Women represent only about 15 percent of onscreen business executive, STEM employee, and political figure roles.

Iron Working

Let’s just say that if you didn’t want to throw on an over-sized sweater and dance around while wearing a welder’s mask after watching the 1983 film Flashdance, you were among the few.

Actress Jennifer Beals inspired women just about everywhere to become welders when she portrayed Alexandra “Alex” Owens, an 18-year-old ironworker with a dream of becoming a professional dancer. And although Beals’ character was only using welding as a means to reach her goal, the women in the industry aren’t going anywhere, and in fact, the powers that be want more.
As such, the Iron Workers Union announced it will offer up to an eight-month paid maternity leave to pregnant women and new moms. This is just part of a larger push from male-dominated industries to draw in women, per the Denver Post.

My primary advice to women entering male-dominated industries is [to] count the cost and be prepared, find your steel, and don’t forget who you are or why you wanted this work.

This new desire to hire female employees in traditionally male-dominated industries is primarily the result of a wave of baby boomers retiring. Positions that were historically held by men in industries like automotive repair, trucking, and construction are becoming vacant. Millennials are forgoing trade careers and leaning more toward technology when they enter the workforce.
Applicants often fail drug tests, making them unhirable, and by the numbers, men are more likely to overdose on illicit substances than women. In a time when the nation is in the grips of a devastating opioid epidemic, male-dominated industries are feeling the tragic effects.
While increased perks might lure women to the trades, keeping them on the payroll might be tough. A study conducted by the US Department of Labor found that 88 percent of female construction workers experienced on-the-job harassment. And as women take over male dominated fields, that field’s pay drops, according to The New York Times.

These are two likely reasons why women only make up 1.6 percent of their trade’s 130,000-member union, reported Slate, and only 3 percent of the trade workforce as a whole.

Entering a Field as a Gender Minority

The simple fact is, some professions are dominated by women. Teaching, child care, nursing, administrative work: positions in these industries are largely filled by them. Have you ever wondered why young women are often drawn towards some careers more than others?

“I think it’s this: instinct, adaptability, and—finally—a nascent toolkit for getting a good read on reality, the risks as much as the possibilities,” says Holt. “Females have thousands of years’ old legacies of adapting, having to get a good read on what they’re facing, having to weigh the differentials of their power and their vulnerability. Women have much at stake in their decisions. Women know that.”
Armed with this knowledge, however, are women making good choices when they decide to enter male-dominated fields? The answer isn’t so simple.
“I think it’s more a matter of courage that spurs women to enter these fields,” says Holt. “However, I believe that, once there, wisdom is paramount.”

“Women whose callings take them into hostile workspaces really do face the giant challenge of playing their hands and making their choices wisely and well: open-eyed, clear-headed, true to themselves, focused on goals,” she continues. “My primary advice to women entering male-dominated industries is [to] count the cost and be prepared, find your steel, and don’t forget who you are or why you wanted this work.”

Why Do Some Female-Dominated Fields Pay Men More?

It’s probably not a surprise that women dominate the nursing field in terms of their presence. In fact, out of the 2 million registered nurses, only 10 percent of them are men.
But what may (or may not) be a surprise, however, is that female nurses actually earn less than men in the field do.

According to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, male nurses earn more than female nurses in just about every specialty, including ambulatory care, chronic care, and cardiology.
The pay gap for male and female nurses averages about $5,000 per year. Though it may not seem like much, over the course of a long career this difference could total about $150,000.

How do companies get away with paying men more when they are in female-dominated fields?
“It’s significant that wherever women are the majority, those jobs are not highly valued,” says Holt. “So, males enter such spaces. They bring their male prestige. They add value. Our culture has been slow and reluctant to own how deeply embedded are our ways of valuing men and women—and how deeply habitual are our practices of esteeming men’s work as the real deal—the standard against which we measure. In a profit-driven society, men add value. It’s that simple. Value is our bottom line.”

No matter what type of employment a woman takes on, one thing is clear: whoever hires her will have access to the perks that being a woman has afforded her.
“I’m going to say, however, that there are advantages for women in one critical way,” says Holt. “Life provides a range of experiences to girls and women that boys and men often miss; those distinct experiences add cool dimensionality to work women do.”

From a Man’s Perspective

The love of educating and inspiring youngsters isn’t something that discriminates upon gender. However, more than three-quarters of all teachers from kindergarten to high school are women, and more than 80 percent of elementary and middle school teachers are.
Teaching was once an industry that was dominated by men. In the 1960s, however, when women entered the workforce, that all changed. Women began taking over the teaching and nursing fields. Over a half century later, ladies hold the vast majority of teaching post. And although they do an incredible job, the diversity that having male teachers brings is still needed.

Bradford Sweet, a middle school teacher and STEM coordinator in Linthicum, Maryland, has taught for a little over eleven years. In his time educating, he says he hasn’t received any flack for his career choice, and uses his position to serve as a positive male influence to others.
“Students need compassionate teachers who really want to inspire young minds,” says Sweet. “It’s important that our schools have a diverse population of teachers and staff to give students an educational experience that will hopefully expose them to a wide variety of positive role models. Students need to be aware that there are amazing people from all walks of life.”
They do. But they also need to be aware that amongst middle school teachers, women only make 87 cents to every man’s dollar.
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Though some are sad to see the warm weather go, most of us don’t mind because it means one very exciting thing—fall is here. The leaves change colors, the weather feels just right, and we know that some of the best holidays are almost upon us.

Thinking about how you can spice up this fall season and have more fun than ever before? From your home to your wardrobe, and even your coffee, these items will have you embracing fall with open arms.

Fall Flavors

Pumpkin Spice K-Cups

Love the flavor of pumpkin spice, but hate the price tag and calorie count of the Starbucks version?

Thankfully, there’s a pumpkin spice flavored K-Cup, so you can have your fall coffee on the cheap, and without even leaving the house or office.

Get a 24 pack from Amazon here.

Torani Syrup Pack

Don’t worry—now you can get your pumpkin spice latte even if you don’t have a Keurig.

You can have a lot of other flavors, too, for that matter. This fall- and winter-themed syrup pack from Torani allows you to customize your coffee at home to get the exact flavor you want.

Get the Torani Fall/Winter Variety Pack from Amazon here.

Pumpkin Spice Mug

Sure, you could drink your coffee out of any old mug you already have at your house, but where’s the fun in that?

This cute pumpkin spice mug will help you take your PSL addiction to the next level.

Get your pumpkin spice mug from Amazon here.

To Wear

Quilted Herringbone Vest

Before it truly gets cold, it can be difficult to find something to wear that’s not too hot but still keeps you somewhat warm.

This puffy herringbone vest is the stylish addition to your fall wardrobe you never knew you needed. It’s thick enough to add some warmth without making you feel too stuffy.

Get yours from Amazon here.

The Perfect Fall Bootie

In need of the perfect ankle bootie to transition into the fall season?

These comfortable leather booties will be your new go-to shoes—maybe for every season. You’ll be able to find a color to go with every outfit, and the lower heel makes them easy to walk in for hours.

Get a pair from Amazon here.

Fall Activities

“Road Trip USA: Cross-Country Adventures on America’s Two-Lane Highways”

Who says that summer is the only time for a trip? With this book, you can plan out the ultimate road trip for yourself and the whole family.

During the fall season, you could even plan a trip to see the leaves change colors across the country.

Get it from Amazon here.

Campfire Skewers and Marshmallow Sticks

What’s fall without a few s’mores? If only making them didn’t usually result in a huge, sticky mess.

Whether it’s roasting marshmallows or hot dogs, this set of extendable skewers will make your campfire gathering cleaner, safer and more fun.

Get the set from Amazon here.

Picnic and Outdoor Blanket

Picnic blankets are for more than just a sandy beach or grassy field.

Whether it’s during a fall hike or an outdoor concert, this blanket will keep you dry and clean with its weather-resistant backing. It’s even made of fleece that’ll help keep you warm, too.

Get yours from Amazon here.

Fire Pit

Ready to plan out your great fall bonfire, but don’t have the space or expertise to start a blaze in your backyard?

Just and wood and this pit will have you enjoying a manageably-sized bonfire in no time. The screen that’s included will keep any crackles and pops from burning you (or melting a hole in your new vest). Relax under the stars warm and without worry.

Get yours from Amazon here.

Bringing the Outdoors In

Fall Throw Pillow

For the truly pumpkin spice obsessed, a favorite drink can now be incorporated into fall decor.

This pillow will add a fun, seasonal pop to your normal pillow lineup, whether on your couch or bed. It’d even make a fun gift for that particularly pumpkin-spice loving friend.

Get yours from Amazon here.

Fall Candle Set

Fall definitely brings a certain set of scents to mind—pumpkin, cranberry, and leaves, among others.

Bring the scents of autumn indoors with this trio of soy candles made with cotton wicks. They’re perfect for getting yourself into the fall spirit, or just giving yourself a whiff of your favorite season anytime.

Get yours from Amazon here.

How do you celebrate Halloween when you get too old to go trick-or-treating? Well, you throw a party, of course. And we all know the best Halloween parties are a little bit spooky and a whole lot of fun.

You don’t have to be Wes Craven to create a delightfully dark atmosphere that kids and adults will love. Here’s our guide to putting together a Halloween party for the ages, organized by creepy category:

Tablewares

What’s a party without a little gluttony? Keep your spooky theme going strong with these fun means of serving your guests food and drink.

1. Halloween Nocturne Skull Paper Plates

Serve your human brains and bat-wings in style. These paper plates hold up to any amount of ichor and they add plenty of creepy ambiance with a vintage-style skull and a border of autumn leaves.

This pack of eight paper plates is part of Target’s Hyde and Eek! Boutique collection. It’s full of spooky Halloween-themed decor that’ll make your party memorable for all the most frightening reasons.

Get it from Target here.

2. Plastic Halloween Picks

Give your hors d’oeuvres a terrifying touch with these plastic toothpicks. Pro tip: They also add a little Halloween spirit to dessert when you use them as cupcake toppers.

This package of 72 Halloween picks includes a mixture of ghosts, jack-o-lanterns, spiders, and vampire bats. It’s enough to make anyone howl in terror, at least until they get a bite of your delicious hors d’oeuvres!

Get them from Amazon here.

3. Plastic Brain Jello Mold

It really isn’t a Halloween party without a brain-shaped gelatin dessert. Treat your guests to some strawberry gelatin that will really give them something to think about.

This gelatin mold makes a frightfully realistic looking edible brain! It’s even just about the right size at nearly 10 inches long. This is the perfect centerpiece for a zombie-themed party, if you have the courage to throw a zombie-themed party, that is.

Get it from Amazon here.

4. Glow-in-the-Dark Soda Bottle Labels

You can’t serve regular soda this time of year. Instead, dress up your two-liter bottles with these scarily funny labels. They even glow in the dark!

See if your guests would like a sip of Nosferatu Vampire Blood, or just a little taste of Poison. They can chug Wicked Witch Brew or refresh themselves with Zombie Brain Juice.

No matter what they choose, they’re sure to get a thrill from these terrifyingly fun soda labels!

Get them from Amazon here.

5. Blood Bags for Drinks

Serve party drinks with a wicked flair. These imitation blood bags include a plastic syringe so you can fill them with your favorite fluids. They’re perfect for the season, and for vampires everywhere.

This package of 10 ships empty, of course, so it’s up to you what you want to fill them with. Sip from the attached straw. The anti-leak design will keep soda, juice, or blood safely inside the bag so your party doesn’t get too messy.

Get them from Amazon here.

Games & Decor

Create the perfect Halloween environment with these decorations, and turn up the fun factor with a few great party games. These activities and decorations represent fun for all ages, so parents and kids can enjoy them together. It’s party time!

1. Halloween Cat Skeleton

Throw a couple of these realistic cat skeletons on the shelves and watch your guests shriek in terror. It looks just like the real thing…not that we’ve seen the real thing. We hope we never do.

This is another item in the Halloween-themed Hyde and Eek! Boutique collection from Target. It’s got a movable jaw so you can set the fanged mouth however you like. Frighten and delight your guests!

Get it from Target here.

2. Inflatable Spider Ring Toss Game

Who can get the rings around the spider legs? This creepy inflatable spider provides tons of fun for party guests. It includes four rings. The goal is to toss them onto the upturned spider legs, which is harder than it looks!

At just two feet tall and nearly a foot wide, this Halloween party game won’t take up too much room in your darkened parlor or on the chilly lawn. But it is plenty big enough to grab some attention and give kids and adults alike a fun challenge.

Get it from Amazon here.

3. Halloween Skull Tablecloth

Set the table for a terrifying dinner with this skull-print tablecloth. It’s all cotton and machine-washable in case your guests get a little messy.

The level of detail in this skull-and-vine print is pretty amazing. In fact, you might want to leave it on the table all year. That option is probably reserved for goths, but hey, maybe it’s time to go there.

Get it from Target here.

4. Halloween Photo Props Kit

Set up a Halloween photo booth at your party and have a blast while you’re preparing it. This kit contains everything you need to make 19 hilarious Halloween photo props. Even better, you get to enjoy the DIY thrills of putting them together yourself.

This kit contains everything you need except glue, tape, a hole punch, and scissors. Get the kids involved in preparing for the party with this DIY paper props kit.

Get it from Paper Source here.

5. Haunted House Decorating Kit

Get all the decorations you need in a single pack. This set include a chandelier plus 16 other frightening paper skulls, spiders, ravens, and bats to give your home that haunted feel.

It’s all black with glitter, which perfectly captures the creepy fun of the holiday. The skulls might be a little scary for very small children, but this is the perfect decoration kit for older kids and adults.

Get it from Amazon here.

6. Stack the Bones Game

Jenga is a great party game, but it’s a little tame for Halloween. That’s where Stack the Bones comes in. It’s basically a Jenga set with bones instead of blo
cks. It’s just as fun as its inspiration, and a little bit spookier.

See how high you can build this skeleton without the whole thing tumbling down! Leave this set up on a table at your next party and people will line up to play.

Get it from Paper Source here.

Invites & Favors

The party really begins with the invites, and it ends with favors your guests can take home. Here are some of our favorites.

1. Family Friendly Halloween Invitations

You can’t have a party if you don’t invite the guests. These cute paper postcards tell your friends and family what they’re in for this Halloween.

This package even comes with Halloween-orange envelopes and ghost and pumpkin stickers to seal them shut. These cards are the ideal way to get the guests to save the date! A total of 20 invitations are included.

Get it from Amazon here.

2. Glow in the Dark Halloween Bouncy Eyeballs

These rubber bouncy balls capture the spirit of the season, and this package of 12 gives you plenty of perfect Halloween party favors. They may look like eyeballs, but real eyes don’t tend to glow in the dark like these…or do they?

Kids love these classic party favors, although they probably aren’t appropriate for the very little ones. Make sure kids are old enough to know they shouldn’t put these things in their mouths before handing them out.

Get them from Amazon here.

3. Wind-Up Ghosts

Wind them up and watch them zip around the table. These haunting toys are fun for all ages. In fact, you might want to order extra for the moms and dads in attendance.

These come in blue, pink, and white, and with a variety of cute expressions. One grins at you, another grimaces in embarrassment, and a third sticks its tongue out cheekily.

Get them from Paper Source here.

4. Meri Meri Halloween Friends Party Bags

You can’t send your guests home with favors if you don’t give them treat bags, and these are ideal. Each small paper sack is adorned with a cute Halloween ghost or witch.

The cheerful shade of Halloween orange will put everyone in the holiday spirit, and they’ll be talking about your party until this time next year!

Get them from Paper Source here.

From romance novels to Disney movies to crappy rom coms, fictional narratives often depict falling in love as the ultimate end-goal. Even the most problematic on-screen couples often find their way back to each other, as if they were fated to be together—despite how incompatible they may be.
This is especially true for female characters, who rarely manage to get through the first act without encountering the soon-to-be love of their life. Because what’s a good story without romance?

While this stereotype is prolific in fiction, it’s also reflected in the way women are treated in real life. Asking someone “how are you still single?” may be intended as a compliment, but it has a pretty negative underlying connotation: that being single is an affliction.

Expectation vs. Reality: Being Single

There’s so much value placed on being in a relationship that it’s often regarded as the only true way to feel complete. Yes, love is wonderful and intoxicating unlike anything else. But isn’t it possible to find a sense of fulfillment on your own?
The answer to that question is, of course, yes. There are countless benefits to being single (besides the obvious perk of never having to worry about waking up in the middle of the night with no blanket). As clichéd as it sounds, being single truly is an opportunity to get to get to know yourself and grow as a person.

Without the attention and validation from a significant other, the task of finding happiness falls entirely on you. When you’re on your own, you learn exactly what it is that you truly need and want from life. Being single can be an empowering experience.
Nevertheless, anyone who’s ever spent a prolonged period of time single knows all too well that not everyone shares this view. Ebony Polwarth is 26 years old and has been single for four years, but isn’t interested in finding a relationship— despite what those around her might want.
“Socially, it’s not overly acceptable to be single at 26,” she says. “Everyone expects you to have someone. But honestly I am not interested. I know my mom wants me to get a boyfriend, but I just ignore it.”

26 is still pretty young. But when all your friends are the same age and in committed relationships, it can be hard not to feel like the odd one out.
“I feel pressure all the time!” she says. “Especially with my friends and family being in good, proper, stable relationships and moving on in that aspect of their lives.”

Nic Tate has been single for 18 months. Despite her last relationship ending on amicable terms and remaining really good friends her ex-partner, the breakup was viewed as far from positive in the eyes of her family.
“My family would ask about it and my dad’s wife would say every time, ‘I pray for you every day’ that I would find a partner,” she says. “I would tell her that I’m very happy. And yet questions would often be about why I ‘hadn’t found anyone yet.'”

For all the stereotypes of single women being distraught by their solitary state, it seems that a more accurate character would be that of the overly concerned mother. Who knows how much money Hollywood could make from a film about a woman plagued by her daughter’s refusal to find a man?

The Gendered Conflict

There’s an undeniable bias when it comes to single men and single women. If a man is single, he’s a bachelor who’s just having a bit of fun with his life. But if a woman’s single? Well, there might just be something wrong with her.
As much as some women may jokingly embrace the stereotype of being a single “crazy cat lady,” it’s a far more negative image than that of the free, independent bachelor.

A single man close to his forties isn’t going to feel anywhere near the same amount of pressure as a woman of the same age. But as Polwarth can testify, a woman 10 years his junior will probably be incredibly familiar with that feeling.
“It’s like, you’re over 25, where’s the kids and the ring?” she says. “People just assume it’s all happening so we don’t miss our biological clock.”
Ah yes, the biological clock: the ticking time bomb lurking inside every woman. This in itself presents an even more problematic expectation: that a woman’s ultimate goal in life is to have children.

Despite the fact that it’s 2017 and not 1917, women of all ages are often pressured to find someone to settle down with—”in time,” of course—to have a baby, especially if they come from a more traditional family.
It’s something that I’m personally more than familiar with. My mother’s family isn’t the most traditional, but they have some pretty old-school expectations of women.
When I was 19, my brother and I both moved to different countries. While my brother was wished well on his overseas move, I was questioned relentlessly. My family wanted to know why I didn’t want to find a man in my hometown and “settle down.” Keep in mind that I was literally still a teenager.

While their lack of interest in my education and career was easy enough to ignore over the years, it became a little more intense when I was single for two years. It was some of the most satisfying and fulfilling years of my life so far, but it didn’t exactly please my family, who constantly asked if I was gay.
Of course, there’s nothing offensive about someone assuming you’re not straight. But it’s pretty absurd to deduce that the only reason a woman wouldn’t have a boyfriend would be because she’s secretly a lesbian.
Ironically, having a child doesn’t necessarily guarantee you get a free pass from judgmental family members. One of my cousins is almost seen as the black sheep because she’s 28 and doesn’t have a boyfriend. Yet she’s a working single mother and has a PhD—the most professionally successful person in our entire family.
She’s already achieved the “goal” of having a child. But by being single, she still isn’t meeting my family’s—or society’s—expectations.

Modern Relationship Rebels

Despite the backlash, some people are refusing to bow to society’s pressure—even public figures.

You do you.

Former Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was constantly chastised by the media for not marrying or having children with her partner, Tim Mathieson.
A member of Gillard’s party argued that the country’s first female prime minister was “being persecuted both because she is a woman and in ways that would be impossible to apply to a man.” Gillard ultimately lost a leadership vote and resigned as prime minister.

The expectation that Gillard should marry her partner in order to validate their relationship is a reflection of something called “The Relationship Escalator.” A term coined by the polyamory community, it describes the expectation that every romantic relationship must follow the same trajectory and hit certain milestones along the way. It’s a common formula in most monogamous relationships, with marriage and a family being the end goal.

The Relationship Escalator is something that’s largely rejected by the polyamorous community. This especially applies to people who practice what’s called “solo polyamory”—having non-monogamous connections with others while not being in an actual relationship.
Another group of people defying relationship conventions is the “childfree” movement: people who refuse to have children. The decision to not have children is something that women are particularly judged for. They’re often told that they’ll change their mind, especially if they were to fall pregnant.
It might seem bizarre that people are forming entire communities based on their relationships preferences and aversion to reproducing. But considering the oft-negative reactions to these choices, it’s little wonder they’re seeking support by banding together.

These boycotts may not be the ultimate answer to a romance-obsessed society, but the people behind them are making a point that’s relevant to all of us: that it’s okay to go against the status quo.
In an episode of her Netlix series Chelsea Does, comedian Chelsea Handler explored being a single and successful woman in her forties—somewhat of a taboo subject in Hollywood. The episode perfectly captured society’s bizarre obsession with committed relationships. Handler concluded that while it’d be nice to find someone to settle down with, being single may just be the better choice for many people—herself included.

Being single can be an awful, challenging experience. But so can being in a relationship. Both experiences can also bring great joy and fulfillment. So why is such a premium placed on one and not the other?
When it comes to relationship choices, “you do you” may very well be some of the best and most relevant advice.
Want to date five people? You do you. Don’t want to have kids? You do you. Want to focus on your career? You do you.
Saying “no thanks” to the great Hollywood love story is an acceptable and even powerful choice to make. It’s totally okay to be single—even if you’re not hosting your own Netflix show.

Fall is the best time of year by far. Green leaves give way to a rainbow of hues. Summer’s muggy air takes on a crisp edge. You finally get to break out your well-loved hoodie.

But some years fall sneaks up on us. We find our teeth chattering at the bonfire because we forgot to stock up on sweaters. Our front doors are still decorated from the Fourth of July. Even our refrigerators are still stocked with hydrating sports drinks at a time when apple cider is at its peak of flavor.

This year, don’t let that happen to you. Stock up on your fall essentials. Here are the clothing items, outdoor decorations, and kitchen products you need to greet fall’s chilly embrace with style.

But first, check out our collection of things you need right now to stay healthy and comfortable as the thermometer outside starts to dip.

Fall Self-Care: The “Get it Now” Collection

Before you get into the really fun stuff, it’s important to make sure you’re ready to care for yourself as the weather outside begins to change. That’s why we put together this list of self-care items that will keep you at your best so you can really enjoy the season of jack o’lanterns and bonfires:

1. Fancii Cool Mist Personal Mini-Humidifier

As the temperature dips, the air gets dryer and dryer. Switch on the heat in your home or office and things only get worse. That’s why you need this adorable and super-effective personal humidifier.

All you need is a regular old water bottle and you can hydrate your personal space no matter where you go. The Cool Mist Personal Mini-Humidifier is ideal for your nightstand, your work desk, or wherever life’s travels take you.

Get it from Amazon here.

2. Himalayan Salt Exfoliating Scrub

All that fun in the sun this summer might have left your skin dry, dull, and damaged. Renew yourself for the fall season with this exfoliating scrub, which uses real Himalayan salt and oils of lychee fruit and sweet almond to refresh and reinvigorate the skin.

This scrub is all-natural and full of nutrients that can address the damage caused by summer sunshine and a few too many dips in the chlorinated pool. As an added bonus, its brilliant pink hue looks great on bathroom shelves.

Get it from Amazon here.

3. CeraVe Moisturizing Cream

Hydrating lotions are just fine for the summertime, when your sweat and oil glands are working overtime anyway, but come fall, it’s time to switch to a thick, luxurious cream. This moisturizing formula from CeraVe creates a thicker barrier than a lotion, locking in hydration to keep your skin healthy and gorgeous well into the winter.

This gentle cream is free of oils, fragrances, and irritating ingredients. It’s ideal for virtually any skin type.

Get it from Amazon here.

4. Neutrogena Hand Cream

The key to beating chapped, dry hands this winter is to start hydrating during the fall. This fast-absorbing hand cream from Neutrogena infuses your hands with moisture and nutrients so they’ll be ready for the cold.

This dermatologist-recommended lotion won’t leave your hands feeling greasy. It’s gentle enough for everyday use, and we recommend it for use through the fall and winter months.

Get it from Amazon here.

5. EOS Visibly Soft Lip Balm

The attractive spherical packaging is the first thing you’ll notice about this powerful lip balm, but it certainly won’t be the last. Its biggest perk? The delightfully soft, kissable lips you get when you use this stuff on a chilly October evening.

This lip balm contains shea butter and vitamin E to provide dependable, long-lasting moisture for your lips. A refreshing-but-subtle vanilla mint flavor completes the experience.

Get it from Amazon here.

6. Urban CoCo Transitional Wrap

Fall weather can be confusing. One minute you’re freezing—the next, you’re burning up. That’s why this
transitional wrap is a must-have. Wear it when you’re chilly, and whip it right off when the thermostat in the office, or the outdoor temps, climb higher than you expected.

Did we mention that it’s absolutely gorgeous? In Ireland, they call traditional capes like these “ruana.” Pretty, but we’ll just stick with “our favorite fall accessory.”

Get it from Amazon here.

7. Women’s Oversized Sweater

If you’re more of a sweater person than a wrap-wearer, we’ve got just the thing for the coming cold snap. It also boasts just the right mix of comfort and fashion.

This gray faux-wool sweater goes great with the color of changing leaves, and its casual, off-the-shoulder look is perfect for sitting around a bonfire. It’s nice and loose and cozy, so you can pull it on and off as the need arises.

Get it from Amazon here.

The Fall Fun Collection

Once you’ve got your skincare regimen down for the fall, it’s time to have some fun. There are certain things you can only do in October, like carving pumpkins. Oh, and did we mention “pumpkin spice?” Here are a few things that will get you into the spirit of the season:

1. Glowfrost Autumn Browns Wooden Ball Fairy Lights

Your porch isn’t ready for fall until you have it decked out in magical balls of light that come in perfect shades of autumnal brown. These battery-powered LED bulbs will give you 30 hours or more on a single charge of three AA batteries. Hooray for not having to find an outdoor outlet.

Create the perfect fall ambiance wherever you go. In fact, you could just leave these in the trunk and break out a party on the fly!

Get it from Amazon here.

2. Pumpkin Spice Soy Candle

Give your nice, toasty living room a delicious scent by burning this natural soy candle. The aromas of cinnamon, sugar, and pumpkin puree emanate gently from this high-quality candle.

It will burn for hours and hours. Get into the fall spirit with a candle you’ll fall in love with. You might even start burning these all winter long.

Get it from Sur La Table here.

3. Green Mountain Coffee Pumpkin Spice K-Cups

Speaking of pumpkin spice, nothing beats curling up with a good book (more on that later) and a cup of this delicious flavored coffee. Even better, it’s packaged in K-Cups for a quick service from your Keurig coffee brewer.

These beans are all fair-trade certified, so you can sip without guilt. This is a package of 24 K-Cups, so you might need to get a few. Stock up now; this is only a seasonal offering.

Get it from Amazon here.

4. Aicok Slow-Masticating Cold-Press Juicer

In fall, the apples ripen. Get the most from your bounty with this slow-masticating juicer from Aicok.

Unlike a conventional centrifugal juicer, this low-speed mod
el takes the time to get all the nutrients and delicious flavor from your autumn apple harvest.

Get it from Amazon here.

5. Pleasant Hill Grain Tabletop Fruit Press

If you prefer to make your apple cider the old-fashioned way, pick up this 1.25-gallon fruit press. It comes with an anti-rotation plate that you can screw into any surface (we like a workbench). Then you’re ready to press your autumn apples until they release their sweet juices.

There’s nothing like fresh apple juice made the old-fashioned way! In fact, going to a pick-your-own orchard, bringing home the harvest, and pressing fresh juice is a terrific family activity for a cool fall day.

Get it from Amazon here.

6. Oakwood Silk Fall Door Wreath

At a hefty 22 inches in diameter, this autumn wreath tells your visitors that you’re serious about the season. Don’t wait for the winter holidays to enjoy the beauty of a decorative wreath. Wreath season starts today!

Enjoy the look of dried gourds, pumpkins, and pine cones. The colors are perfect for the season.

Get it from Amazon here.

7. AmazonBasics 26-Inch Portable Folding Fire Pit

Nothing says autumn like a nice bonfire in the backyard. For those of us who aren’t blessed with tons of space for a giant fire, this portable steel pit is ideal.

The legs fold up and it even comes with its own carrying bag, so you can bring the season’s spirit with you wherever you go.

Get it from Amazon here.

8. Kindle E-Readers and the Books to Go With Them

One fall activity is greater than all the others combined: curling up by the fire with a good book. Today, in the age of the e-reader, that means picking out a perfect Kindle and the titles to go with it.

Pick your favorite Kindle, then consider setting some time aside for these recent bestsellers:

“Before We Were Yours” by Lisa Wingate

This inter-generational tale of scandal, based on real-life events, is currently No. 4 on Amazon’s most-read charts.

Get it from Amazon here.

“Little Fires Everywhere” by Celeste Ng

This brilliant novel peers beneath the surface of a wealthy community, examining issues of race, privilege, parenthood, and even destiny.

Get it from Amazon here.

“Beneath a Scarlet Sky” by Mark Sullivan

This historical novel tells the story of a real-life unlikely hero, an Italian teenager in love and caught up in the drama of World War II.

Get it from Amazon here.

Of course, even if you don’t have a Kindle, you can still enjoy these great fall fireside reads. Find the hardback editions here:

“Before We Were Yours”

“Little Fires Everywhere”

“Beneath a Scarlet Sky”

Happy reading, and happy fall! Don’t overdo it on the pumpkin spice…or do. It’s that time of year, after all.