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Wellbeing

Genetic Traits You Can Blame Your Parents For

Aside from baseball and competitive singing TV shows, there is likely no better American pastime than blaming things on your parents. Whether it’s that distinctive voice you use when you get mad or an impossible-to-kick barbecue ribs habit, everyone likely has something that they want to blame on the people that birthed and raised them. And there’s nothing that connects us more to our parents than our genes.

Indeed, The Simpsons once dedicated a whole episode to Lisa’s fear that she’d inherit Homer’s trademark stupidity due to an intelligence-decreasing “Simpson gene.” But what qualities do we truly inherit from our parents, and what characteristics do we develop over time from how we’re raised and develop? Eye and hair color are one thing, but can a child really inherit their parents’ wit (or lack thereof)? Is three-point shooting ability passed down?

There are a few genetic features that are expected, namely physical ones; there are also some traits that we get from our folks that may not immediately come to mind. And with other traits, science continues to debate the age-old query as to whether all that makes us “us” comes from the environment we are raised in or our own genetic makeup.

A key question: “Nature” or “Nurture”?

It’s a question hotly debated around both kitchen tables and scientific circles: Are we born with our best attributes entwined in our DNA? Or do we develop them over time from our environment?

It’s all based on the genetic blueprint.

A reminder from this Stated Cleary video tells us that DNA is the molecular blueprint that makes proteins, which in turn make cells, which form and eventually make a living thing, like a plant, a person, or a dinosaur. DNA is passed down in tightly-wound coils known as chromosomes. When people talk about genes being passed down, they’re talking about the genes within a person’s set of chromosomes that come from their mother and father.

Mark Payson, MD, is the practice director for the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine of Northern Virginia, and he states that there are many things that are “hardwired” into us from birth: “Certain traits, physical traits, are very clearly genetic. Our eye color, our hair color, our skin color. Our height. It’s all based on the genetic blueprint.”

These physical characteristics are often the most obvious features we inherit. The old, “He has his mother’s eyes!” of it all.

However, less identifiable traits, like parts of a person’s personality or someone’s interests, fall into a more debatable category. Did that love of tennis come from deep within your DNA, or was it because you were playing doubles with mom since the day you could pick up a racket?

Answering such questions with certainty can be nearly impossible. Genetics are at the very core of what makes us unique, thus making any attempt to study them fraught with variables. But there is one way scientists can gain a better understanding of how the genetic lottery can play out: twins. Specifically, twins with identical DNA.

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Payson describes the useful findings of some of these studies: “People have done twin studies where they look at twins and they see how similar or different they are. The best studies are when they looked at identical twins that were separated at birth, and then 20, 30 years later, they meet each other.” Such revealing studies are a genetic bonanza for interested experts. “It’s amazing as to how similar they are sometimes,” Payson says.

There is no doubt upbringing and the nurturing, or lack of nurturing, of a talent or attribute can have an effect. Todd Graham, a biotechnology consultant at Delevan Street Biosciences, points out that some traits can be more like tendencies and require a certain amount of environmental support to flourish. “If someone has a trait to be tall, but is malnourished, it won’t come out as strongly,” explains Graham.

Despite the debate, there are plenty of traits that have clear or highly likely genetic ties, at least enough so that you can definitely throw them into your parents’ face when you’re feeling rebellious.

Blame genetics for never getting your shot in the NBA.

It may be all too obvious that something like height is passed down from your parents, so if both your folks are under 5’5″, your hoop dreams may be pipe dreams. But there are many signs that athletic ability itself can also be deeply hardwired into your genes.

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Payson says that athleticism is unquestionably a mix of both genetics and upbringing, though there’s no doubting the clear physical gifts and abilities that some athletes inherit—it’s usually when you hear the phrase “natural athlete” get tossed around. Payson explains that there are “certain physical traits in terms of strength and how quickly your muscles respond and endurance that certainly you can be genetically predisposed to have.”

ACTN3 is a high-level muscle protein that is often associated with elite athletes. The muscle composition is just one of many factors that separates some Olympic athletes from the rest of us weekend joggers.

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Graham discusses the variances in what effect genetics have on an athlete’s abilities: “There are a number of facts involved
in such skills, and it’s not clear how well they are linked yet. We know that slow-twitch muscle versus fast-twitch muscle is important. Slow-twitch muscle is useful in sports that require explosive power, like track and field, baseball and football, while fast-twitch muscle is more useful in endurance sports like distance running.”

Genes go a long way, but if junior was raised since the age of 6 to eat, sleep, and breathe hoops, that certainly has an impact as well. Payson points out that becoming a pro athlete requires “years and years and years of high-level training. If your parent is an athlete and you grow up in that environment and you start doing that from a very young age, that is an enormous advantage.”

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Just how much influence genetics has in sports versus development and practice remains a source of constant debate. Sports Illustrated’s David Epstein wrote a whole book seeking to explain “the Sports Gene,” and his takeaway mirrors that of other experts: that neither one factor on its own ensures athletic glory.

So just because neither one of your parents ever played in the big leagues doesn’t mean you won’t have a chance. Like the old adage that you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take, you also won’t be a superior athlete in 100 percent of the sports you don’t play.

Sneezing into the sun is a thing. And it’s hereditary.

Looking at the many odd things that children can inherit from their parents, perhaps no other shines as bright as one especially peculiar trait. There are certain people who will sneeze as a reflex just from catching sight of the sun or from entering a room with an abundance of light. It is called Autosomal-Dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst syndrome, and the honest-to-goodness acronym for this particular condition is the ACHOO syndrome.

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Are you a sun-sneezer? If so, it’s more than likely you’ll be able to blame this nose nuisance on your parents. Graham talks about the genetic nature of the ACHOO syndrome: “The European Archives of Oto-Rhino-Laryngology published research last March about how ACHOO syndrome was observed in 57 percent of a patient population in a hospital in Germany. ”

According to the study, a “familial disposition” to the syndrome was observed, meaning that the sun sneezing could be traced back on the family tree.

So if you greet your mornings with a smattering of mucus, feel free to blame the mess on your genes.

Blame your parents if you’ve got the taste palate of a picky five-year-old.

Most everyone has at least one favorite dish that is “just like mom made,” but what if this “mom” of yours is responsible for limiting the full potential of your tastebuds?

If you’re a supertaster, you are born with a different anatomy.

Payson says that there is a genetically gifted group of taste gods that walk among us: “There’s a phenomenon called ‘supertasters,‘ which are these people that seem to have an ability to taste a wider variety of taste than us poor average people, which certainly is thought to be genetic.”

If you were supertaster, you’d most likely already know it: Some vegetables would be unbearably bitter, most sugar would be too sweet to savor, and spicy peppers could send you running for the hills. One of the early forerunners of research on the super-taster front is Linda Bartoshuk, PhD, who revealed some of the biology behind this phenomenon in a feature for Yale Medicine.

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“If you’re a supertaster, you are born with a different anatomy. [Everyone has] fungiform papillae, which are the little structures that hold taste buds. You have many, many more of them if you are a supertaster,” Bartoshuk said. “It is like reaching up and feeling something with 500 fingers as opposed to 50.”

Supertasting is not that uncommon, with roughly one-in-four Caucasians have the genetic makeup of a super-taster.

Is this another clear instance of genetics playing a role in how we perceive taste and smell? Payson says those tricky X and Y chromosomes may have something to do with it: “There are gender differences where women in general have a better sense of smell than men, there are certain smells that women in general are a little more aware of.”

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The big takeaway is that the next time you find yourself in a fight at the dinner table with your folks, you can always blindside them with the old “It’s your fault I don’t have a super tasting abilities!”

DNA can sometimes be a grab bag of diseases.

Ultimately, one of the most significant reasons for knowing your genes and your genetic history is less about home runs and taste buds and more about knowing what kind of health issues you may face one day.

There is a s
ignificant list of diseases that are passed down genetically, such as cystic fibrosis, Huntington’s disease, sickle cell anemia, and Marfan syndrome.

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Sometimes a syndrome can occur if not all the genes are passed down. Payson points to conditions like Angleman and Prader-Willi syndromes, which develop because part of the genetic code in the chromosomes has been inexplicably deactivated. This is otherwise known as genetic imprinting: an unfortunate genetic circumstance that leads to the syndromes listed above, which are known for affecting the nervous system and can cause seizures, developmental disabilities, and speech deficits.

Marfan syndrome is another genetic disease that Graham calls “particularly notable.” This disease has had effects around the sports world recently because of it is commonly seen in tall, thin people…the very kind of people who seek to become NBA players.

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“It is a condition related to problems with producing connective tissue, which can also result in heart issues such as mitral valve prolapse and aortic aneurysm,” explains Graham. He says that the syndrome has been found in some sought-after basketball prospects, forcing the league to start to pay special attention to the genetics of its all-star athletes.

Forget about your genetic past: The future is now!

Interest in preventing diseases and plain old scientific curiosity has propelled the science of genetics forward with blistering speed in the past decades.

Our genetics influence nearly everything about who we are and how we perceive the world.

According to Payson, the rate at which we are learning new things about our genes is stunning: “Our understanding of genetics has increased tremendously in the last 5 or 10 years.” He says that because of our ability to map out an entire human genome, “we are going to find so many things about people, and also susceptibility to various diseases.”

So there is some good news concerning heredity diseases: Scientists may be able to treat or plan for some of these syndromes that wait like ticking time bombs in our genetic blueprints. “From a medicinal standpoint,” Payson says, “we can determine what medicine will work best for you depending on how your body will process the medicine.”

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Payson sums up the importance of our genes pretty succinctly: “Our genetics influence nearly everything about who we are and how we perceive the world.”

It is amazing to think that the most simple connection, parent to child, contains such a complex and incredibly detailed blueprint for every single human being. It can influence so much of who we are and who we’ll become.

So even though you can heap some blame on your folks for your less-than-noteworthy fastball or regular ol’ tastebuds, you can also be grateful for your best attributes because those have been passed down to you as well.

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Lifestyle

Have You Outgrown Your Food Allergies? There's A Test For That

[People] should be hopeful, but they should not be in denial.

As a child, Allison Constantino of Winter Springs, Florida, experienced a shellfish allergy so significant it sent her to the emergency room.
The artist and nature lover described her childhood shellfish allergy as “HUGE.” As an adult, however, her allergy went away and never returned. She figures that as she aged, her immune system got stronger and kept the shellfish allergy at bay.
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Sandra Hinchliffe, a writer and webmaster from northern California, tells a similar story. As a toddler, she endured her first anaphylaxis event—a severe, life-threatening allergic reaction—with eggs. As a child, she took allergy shots, but as she grew up, her allergies simply disappeared. But unlike Constantino, when Hinchliffe reached middle age, the allergies came roaring back, and she now follows her doctor’s strict orders to avoid egg and yeast. She carries EpiPens with her wherever she goes.

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“[People] should be hopeful, but they should not be in denial. These allergies can and do return in some of us as our immune system ages,” she says.
Both of these women’s experiences are not unique, but they showcase the uniqueness of individual allergy patients. Some children eventually grow out of their allergies, others never do, whereas others grow out of them and have them return. The overall likelihood of outgrowing an allergy depends on a range of factors, such as the type of allergy and how severe it is in each child.

What is a food allergy?

A food allergy is a medical condition in which exposure to a specific food triggers an allergic reaction. In short, the body identifies a food as dangerous, and when it gets exposed to it, the body reacts.
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Symptoms of food allergies range from mild, such as a skin rash, hives, wheezing, and repetitive cough, to life-threatening, such as an inability to breathe, swallowing difficulties, and weak pulse.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that food allergy prevalence has become a public health issue. The U.S. saw a 50 percent increase in food allergies between 1997 and 2011, and between 1997 and 2008, the prevalence of a peanut or tree allergy more than tripled in U.S. children. Overall, an estimated 15 million Americans have food allergies, according to the CDC, which includes 5.9 million children. This is approximately two children per classroom.

The Odds of Outgrowing a Food Allergy

According to Mayo Clinic, food allergies affect six to eight percent of children under the age of 5, but approximately 60 to 80 percent of youths with a type of dairy allergy (milk or egg) can eat these foods without any reaction by the time they reach age 16. Young children who can eat these foods in baked form, like in a cake, are extremely likely to be able to eat plain eggs or milk at an older age.
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They also might outgrow other food allergies, like nut and shellfish allergies, though this isn’t as likely. For example, only about 20 percent of young children outgrow peanut allergies, and 14 percent lose a tree nut allergy. The number is even lower with shellfish allergies, as only four to five percent of children with any fish or crustacean allergy go on to adulthood and experience no reaction—Constantino got lucky and bucked the odds.

Types of Food Allergies

There is really only one type of food allergy: “true allergy.” These are IgE-mediated food allergies in which a severe allergic reaction can occur.
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Stacey Galowitz, DO, a board-certified allergist with ENT and Allergy Associates in Somerset, New Jersey, says, “IgE-mediated food allergies are the reactions to food everyone is familiar with: you eat a peanut and break out in hives, have swelling, experience shortness of breath and vomiting, etcetera. The more severe form of this is called anaphylaxis.” She says anaphylactics are those who need to carry epinephrine devices.
According to The American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, eight types of food account for about 90 percent of all reactions: eggs, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, wheat, and soy.
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People who are not diagnosed with a food allergy, but still experience some form of pain when eating certain foods, usually have a food sensitivity. Such sensitivities are IgG mediated, and “IgG-mediated food allergies are not actually allergies in the true sense,” says Dr. Galowitz. She says the difference between intolerance/sensitivity and IgE-mediated food allergies is that one might be uncomfortable (IgG) and the other might be fatal (IgE).

On Gluten

Gluten allergy—which is also called celiac disease, and is the allergy to the proteins in wheat, barley, and rye—is a bit different. According to the Food Allergy Research and Resource Program and the University of Nebraska–Lincoln, celiac disease differs from IgE-mediated food allergies, in part, because its symptoms take 48–72 hours to show up, whereas IgE-mediated allergy symptoms appear rather quickly.
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Celiac disease, though, affects about one percent of the world’s population, according to the Celiac Disease Foundation. “Gluten sensitive” is a way to describe those who cannot tolerate gluten and experience symptoms similar to those with celiac disease, but do not experience the same intestinal damage.
This sensitivity type is a widespread condition. According to Beyond Celiac, an organization that helps people with celiac disease live healthy lives, researchers estimate that 18 million Americans have gluten sensitivity.
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However, for those of you with gluten sensitivities, you might be okay eating gluten. A recent study published in the journal Digestion found that 86 percent of those who believed they were gluten sensitive could tolerate gluten with no issue.

Tests for Food Allergies

To determine if you have outgrown your food allergy, you can take a couple of tests:

  • A blood or skin test. For IgE-mediated food allergies, “You need a skin test or a blood [test] plus a clinical history of reaction,” says Dr. Galowitz. If a test reveals a high level of IgE, you are more likely to experience an allergic reaction; if the level is low, you might tolerate the food. The American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology says the test is not very invasive and produces quick results.
  • A food challenge. According to Food Allergy Research and Education, in a food challenge test, someone with (or with a previous) food allergy digests a small amount of the food they are allergic to in a controlled setting. The tester starts by giving a person a minimal amount of the food and then gradually raises the dosage. The tester will stop the food challenge immediately if the person experiences any reactions, and anyone taking the test gets closely monitored by a medical professional throughout the entire test.

The food challenge takes a number of hours. Most tests last from four to six hours, but it can go longer if someone experiences a reaction.
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Feeling a little nervous to try a food challenge? You shouldn’t. Researchers conducted the largest national survey of allergic reactions in a U.S. non-research setting and published their results in the Annuals of Allergy Asthma & Immunology. The results showed that the food challenge is a safe method, as it resulted in very few allergic reactions—86 percent of the challenges had no reactions and 98 percent had no anaphylaxis. This means that adults can take the test to determine if they are still have their childhood food allergies, and they shouldn’t feel worried about doing so.

Getting Ready for the Food Challenge

If you feel the food challenge might help you determine if you can eat the foods you couldn’t as a child, you should speak to your doctor. If a medical professional decides this test could benefit you, here are some test tips to follow (provided by National Jewish Health):

  • Do not eat any other food during the challenge. Only eat what the medical professional says you can eat.
  • If you feel sick, you should cancel the test. This includes feeling any type of illness, such as a headache, stomachache, allergic reaction of any type, or fever. Your results could present false positives, or worse, the test could make you sicker. If you have any concerns, you should always speak with your doctor ahead of time.
  • If you do experience any type of reaction during the test, you might be given medication that makes you drowsy. Because of this, you should arrive to the food challenge with another individual who can drive you home, if necessary.
  • You should notify your doctor if you take any antihistamines, as they could affect the results. Most of the time, the doctor will instruct you to stop taking any oral antihistamines anywhere from three to five days before the test, depending on what brand of medication you take.

It is also best practice to tell your doctor of any medications you are currently taking prior to the test.
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Oh, and you might get asked to bring specific food to the test. The doctor might even ask you to bring your favorite food with you “in which to place the food to be challenged,” per National Jewish Health.

If you had a food allergy in the past, it is possible you have outgrown it.

In fact, the odds are in your favor if you experienced a milk or egg allergy as a child, though less so with other food allergies.
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With the safety of the food challenge and skin or blood tests, they’re likely worth it—afterwards, you’ll know if you can begin adding shrimp back to your barbeques or peanut butter to your sandwiches. As always, consult with a doctor and tell him or her your own personal history and family history with food allergies. From there, they can make an educated decision on if a blood test or food challenge is right for you.

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Wellbeing

7 Dental Myths You Probably Believe

Did you hear the one about the fossilized teeth that were found in Germany that

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The only problem is that they actually don’tMainz Natural History Museum (via Deutsche Welle)


.

According to research and interviews from National Geographic, the teeth were likely from a pliopithecoid, a member of an extinct superfamily of primates that predated the evolutionary split between Old World monkeys and apes, the latter of which later split off into another two categories, one of which contains humans.

Basically, these teeth are about as related to humans as your third cousin twice-removed’s roommate is to you.

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The skull of a Epipliopithecus vindobonensis, a member of the pliopithecoid superfamily. (James St. John/Flickr)

Trying to find the cold, hard tooth, er, truth about teeth is a difficult task. And through the years, you’ve likely heard a thing or two about teeth that has left you scratching your head, making you wonder if you need to clean your ears or if what you were told is actually correct.

Here, we chomp down on some of the most common dental myths around and find out whether or not they have any real bite to them.

Myth 1: Pregnant women don’t have to worry about bleeding gums; they’re just sensitive because of the pregnancy.

Did you just floss, or did you turn into a sloppy vampire? If you’re not sure, there’s a chance you could be pregnant.

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“Oral health during pregnancy is especially important, because it affects both mom and baby,” says Lisa Simon, DMD, Fellow in Oral Health and Medicine Integration at the Harvard School of Dental Medicine. “While it’s true that the hormones produced during pregnancy increase the likelihood that gums will bleed and be sensitive, this also increases the risk of gum disease.”

“Women who have gum disease (periodontitis) are more likely to give birth prematurely, or have a baby with a lower birth weight, so pregnant women should be sure to talk to their obstetrician and dentist if they note bleeding gums.”

Myth 2: Baby teeth cavities don’t need fillings because the teeth are just going to fall out anyway.

Baby teeth are like starter teeth, right? You just do what you can and hope for the best, because you’re going to get a new set anyways. Although this would be great news for kids, and even better for that greedy Tooth Fairy, it’s just not true.

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Because of the high cost of dental care, along with the sheer stress of having their children undergo the work, some parents forgo fixing baby teeth issues simply because they think they don’t need to. However, this isn’t the truth.

“Baby teeth are just as important as the adult teeth that replace them, but they are formed differently, which puts them at an increased risk of cavities,” says Simon. “Baby teeth have thinner layers of enamel (the strongest layer of the tooth), and larger pulps (the hollow innermost part of the tooth where the nerve is), which means cavities grow faster and can cause toothaches more easily in children.”

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Having cavities addressed as soon as they are detected can prevent children from experiencing unnecessary tooth pain and can stop infections from forming. Keeping baby teeth healthy also helps with speech and vocabulary.

“In addition, baby teeth serve as space-holders for adult teeth to grow in straight and healthy,” says Simon. “If children lose baby teeth because of cavities very early, they may even have trouble learning to speak and form sounds correctly.

Myth 3: Sugar by itself is bad for your teeth.

Just to be clear, this is not a free pass to indulge in all things sugar. The truth is, sugar is bad for your teeth. However, it only reaches its menacing state when it is combined with something that is found in literally every single person’s mouth: bacteria.

Without the bacteria, sugar couldn’t form cavities …

Oh yes, about 20 billionwhat-when-how


of the little guys are crawling around your mouth as we speak. And although that’s slightly more than a bit creepy, it’s totally normal.

“All of us share our mouths with thousands of species of bacteria,” Simon says. “Most of them don’t cause any problems, but some bacteria eat the same things we eat—especially sugar and carbohydrates—that get digested to become sugar.”

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“As they consume the sugar, they produce acid that can create holes in our teeth, and thus, cavities are formed. Without the bacteria, sugar couldn’t form cavities; however, science hasn’t figured out a way to eliminate the bacteria that lives in our mouths!”

Until that fateful day, make sure to get your brush and floss on daily.

Myth 4: The more often and harder you brush, the healthier your teeth will become.

You know that feeling when your teeth are so covered in sugar that they seem to be growing hair? And to get rid of it, you brush your teeth until they are within a few inches of their lives? While it makes sense that scrubbing your chompers with some serious power is the best way to remove that icky film, it can actually do more harm than good.

“While brushing and flossing frequently is an important health habit, brushing with too much force can damage the gums and teeth,” Simon says. Instead, “always use a soft toothbrush, and don’t push very hard while brushing in small circles, angling towards your gums.”

Myth 5: You should brush immediately after every meal.

If you’re tempted to reunite with your toothbrush as soon as you finish swallowing your last bite of food, hold off for just a bit. Even if you think your food is attempting to make a lasting impression on your breath, it’s a good idea to allow it to marinate for a bit.

“You should brush after every meal; however, waiting a while immediately afterwards allows your saliva to restore the pH balance of your mouth and makes it less likely that you will remove layers of tooth enamel along with the plaque and bacteria,” says Simon.

If you can’t wait or just aren’t able to tend to your pearly whites anytime soon, Simon suggests chewing some sugar-free gum. It can increase the flow of saliva and help protect your teeth.

Myth 6: Poor dental hygiene alone is the cause of bad breath.

Sure, everyone has less than fresh breath after certain foods, but brushing, flossing, and mouthwash usually get the job done. If you find that you have a foul mouth more often than not, however, it may not have anything to do with your oral cavity.

“Bad breath can be a sign that you need to brush and floss, but it can also indicate more serious conditions,” Simon says.

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“Mouth infections like periodontitis can cause bad breath, and so can medical conditions like liver disease or complications of diabetes. If you notice bad breath along with other symptoms, this can be an important thing to talk about with your doctor or dentist.”

Myth 7: You’ll eventually lose all of your teeth.

Getting dentures seems to be a rite of passage for most, and many believe that they are destined to a life of false teeth. After all, how many grandparents do you know that still rock their entire OG adult tooth set? You probably don’t know many, but this doesn’t have to be the case for everyone, says Simon.

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“With proper care and regular dental visits, anyone can expect to have their teeth for the rest of their lives,” she says. “Losing teeth isn’t a normal sign of aging, and even people who are at high risk of tooth decay can work with their dentist to protect and keep their teeth.”

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Dental care is serious business and is something you shouldn’t neglect. Not only can being a little lazy cause gum disease and problems with your teeth, poor dental hygiene can also result in serious problems with your health. In fact, cardiovascular disease, endocarditis (an infection in the lining of your heart), and premature birth and low birth rate are all linked to inadequate dental care.

So the next time you feel like skipping a flossing session or don’t want to brush, remember that your mouth—and your body—want you to stop being a slacker, and just do it already.

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10 (Not So) Harmless Habits That Age You

Are you anxious to grow older?
I’ll admit, I am…at least a little. With age comes experience, and with more experience, I sense I am becoming wiser. I’m better equipped to handle situations and adhere to my convictions, and I enjoy life more often than not.
But even though I look forward to each birthday and the age it brings, I don’t necessarily want to look older. In fact, as each year passes, I’d like to [linkbuilder id=”6705″ text=”look younger”], fresher, and healthier. It’s my goal to somewhat maintain the look of my current age, at least.
You too? Well, some habits you and I have might be doing us a disservice—things like late weekend nights and ignoring that Brussels sprout recipe we keep saying we’ll give a try. They may seem harmless, but a few not so great habits over time really add up…and add years to our face, figure, heart, and more.
If staying young is on your agenda, perhaps it’s time to identify and eliminate habits that age you. Aging is inevitable, but no one should be unnecessarily rushing to the finish line.

What can benefit all of us the most is to take a step back, simplify, and listen to our body.

In my efforts to analyze habits that age us, I have the opportunity to connect with Stephanie Riley, a National Academy of Sports Medicine certified personal trainer with a certification in fitness nutrition. She is not only a coach of sorts, but an athlete who has participated in over 20 marathons and other competitions, like bodybuilding and Ironman distance triathlons.
“… all of us can learn from our own experiences and the ability to be brutally honest about where we succeed and where we can continue to grow,” Riley shares on the topic of habits. “I believe a lot of people can become disenchanted, frustrated, or confused by constantly following all the ‘noise’ that is out there on the market, never knowing who to listen to and who to ‘follow.'”
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“What can benefit all of us the most is to take a step back, simplify, and listen to our body. It really, truly does not have to be that hard to make small changes that can and will create profound improvements in our lives.”
So, what habits should we begin resolving? Pick a few from below.

Allowing Too Much Screen Time

“The more strict I am with my screen time, the more my quality of life improves,” Gemma, a mom of three, says. “Setting strict limits on both social media and TV makes me more productive, less stressed, and I get to bed at a decent hour!”
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Both stress and not enough sleep greatly impact overall wellness. If TV time and that iPad hanging out by your bed are producing worry and keeping you from rest, it’s time to say goodbye!

Not Drinking Enough Water

“Let’s face it, most of us have a hard time getting our water in,” Riley says. “It’s hard to remember when we get busy with work, family, and everything else on our plate. However, drink water. Period. Initially, it’s hard. You will have to run to the restroom constantly at first. Give it time, stay the course, and that initial running to the bathroom will slow down.”
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“Your body needs it, uses it, and functions exponentially better with it. Give it a try for a month. Drink 64 to 100 ounces of water a day for a month. I guarantee you will not know how you functioned without it.”
Of course, be sure to spread your water consumption out over the day, and don’t overdo it if you don’t feel thirsty.

Postponing Checkups

My husband’s employer actually incentivizes their team in this regard—to the tune of $100! They know annual wellness appointments are that important.
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Why? It’s simple. Checking in with your doctor allows them to address concerns and catch potential issues before they’re a life-altering problem. Blood work and screenings keep you healthy, alive, and flourishing. So, if you haven’t been to your doctor in the last year, call them. Today.

Under-Hydrating Your Skin

M’Lissa Fleming, an independent consultant with anti-aging skincare brand Rodan + Fields, can’t emphasize enough how important using moisturizer is: “The human skin is the body’s largest organ. Keeping your skin hydrated and moisturized helps avoid many skin problems such as blemishes and wrinkles.”
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Moisturizer with SPF is the best way to multi-task keeping your skin healthy,” Fleming adds. “If your skin is not hydrated and becomes dry and cracked, you’ve lost protection and your skin becomes … vulnerable to outside elements.”
So, don’t forget it! When you appropriately moisturize, you’ll prevent those lines and wrinkles, and no doubt you’ll look younger.

Not Keeping a Bed Time

Our bodies benefit from a regular sleep schedule, which means Saturday night should look very similar to Tuesday night. “Your body is either trying to survive or flourishing,” says Riley.
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“How can it flourish when its exhausted? Quit asking your body to do more when you give to it less. Sleep! It’s okay!”

Avoiding Counseling

“I don’t know how its become a perception that counseling, coaching, or therapy is a negative or that it somehow shows weakness,” says Riley. “My husband and I have had a life coach for 20 years.”

We don’t have all the answers. Nor should we have all the answers.

“I have had marathon coaches, triathlete coaches, and medical doctors at training clinics to help my athletic performance,” she says. “So how is a coach in life any different?”
“Would a person then say ‘Oh, she has a coach, she must be terrible in the sport,’ or ‘She sure doesn’t know what she’s doing,’ or ‘Boy, she must really not know how to do it on her own.’ No one would say that. How is a counselor any different?”
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Besides being a safe space for exploring one’s feelings, counseling also offers scientifically-proven benefits. According to a study from the University of California-Los Angeles, verbally expressing feelings calms negative feelings. Additionally, research in Psychiatry 2007 says that social support, like the kind a life coach or therapist provides, is a key part of maintaining one’s mental and physical wellbeing.
“Finding a counselor who you connect with and who can listen to your life’s experience with not only professional training on the human condition but also their own life experiences is a tool that everyone could use,” Riley says. “We don’t have all the answers. Nor should we have all the answers. I highly recommend a counselor for all of us … .”
Amen to that! Counselor up!

Letting Stress Rule

“Stress will always be an element in our lives. But we can control it, or it can control us,” says Riley.
In most of our lives, I’d venture to say that taming stress is a minute by minute task. But gaining control of those minutes really adds up—according to Psychology Today, emotional distress can speed up aging on a cellular level. No thanks!

Forgetting Outdoor Exercise

We all know that outdoor exercise feels amazing once you’ve actually completed it, but it often gets left out of busy routines in favor of the ever-convenient treadmill. In the video below, certified health and life coach Sabrina Renee shares the benefits she gets from taking her exercise outside:

Falling For Fad Diets

Fad diets come in many shapes and sizes. Some only include raw food, others needlessly cut gluten, others include only liquids to “cleanse” your system, and a few even include things that aren’t food in the first place.
As an athlete, Riley knows food. Her training has led her to delve deep into nutrition. When it comes to fad diets, she shakes her head.
“I cringe at people trying to make a buck on misconceptions, false advertising, and ‘studies’ that are bogus to get buy-ins on their products,” she says. “Quite simply, there is no one size fits all. I recommend stepping off the hamster wheel and remind yourself that all this food thing doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t.”
“Many people are looking for that new special thing out there, that ‘new’ ideology that has all the answers, that ‘ah-ha’ revelation. When we try to follow all the minutia out there, all it does is create this odd, fearful relationship with food, confusion and anxiety.”
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“Allow yourself to enjoy good food, be aware of what you are eating, allow treats in moderation, and get your fruits and vegetables in on a regular basis. That’s it. Chop, cook, and eat at home. Make it a priority.”

Not Nourishing Your Body

Food is complex, and our choices are vast. But bottom line, nutrition is crucial to fueling our bodies and keeping them in their prime. “Many people I see are extremely undernourished,” says Riley.

… with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.

Some women in particular, she says, have been undernourished “for so long that they have issues with hormones and are malnourished in many vitamins and minerals … We are depriving our body of what it desperately needs. Make it a habit to get in the nutrients one needs through proper [linkbuilder id=”6706″ text=”food choices”].”
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MyPlate, the successor to the classic Food Pyramid, is a good place to start for those unsure about their nutritional needs. The MyPlate site even offers daily checklists for healthy eating and optimum nutritional intake. The National Heart, Blood, and Lung Institute also provides an easy-to-read roadmap for maintaining a healthy weight and meeting nutritional goals.
Nutrition calculators, like MyFitnessPal and MyPlate Calorie Counter, are easy ways to keep track of and manage your nutritional intake.

How many of these not so harmless habits are part of your life?

They say it takes at least 21 days to break a bad habit. Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter and author of The Power of Habit wrote, “Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.”
You can reshape your habits. Reading this article alone means you have initiative. So, set some goals, make it happen, and remember Duhigg’s Golden Rule of Habit Change, “You can’t extinguish a bad habit, you can only change it.”

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Motherhood

Cyberbullying: Social Media And Teen Depression

This summer, after endless bullying from her peers, 15-year-old Sadie Riggs took her own life. She had experienced bullying in school, but it was social media that made it so difficult for her to escape the torment, according to NBC. Classmates were seeking her out, sending cruel messages through multiple social media platforms and messaging apps, encouraging her to end her own life.
The cyberbullying became so intense that her aunt, with whom she lived, went to the school and even reached out to Instagram, hoping someone would make the bullying stop. In June, she took Sadie’s phone and broke it, hoping to keep her from experiencing any more hate. Tragically, it seems that Sadie had already reached her limit, as she took her life less than a week later.
Teens are spending more time online than ever before. The average teenager between the ages of 13 and 18 spends an average of six and a half hours a day online, according to research by Common Sense Media. Unfortunately for many children, all of this time spent online isn’t healthy.

Social Media’s Impact on Empathy

Heavy social media use has an alarming impact on how children think and feel about one another. For starters, we know that social media is designed in a way that makes it incredibly easily to get hooked.
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“There are behaviorists that work alongside programmers in the industry to develop the apps and the platforms [to make them] highly, highly addictive,” says therapist Lisa Strohman, JD, PhD, and founder and director of the Technology Wellness Center and Digital Citizen Academy.
From the start, parents should understand that their children and teens will feel compelled to use social media excessively. And the more they use social media, the more their behaviors—particularly their senses of empathyx—will be impacted.
Because technology provides a perceived distance between individuals, it actually decreases the empathy experienced, according to research in the Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace. Empathy plays a role in inhibiting aggressive behavior. Additionally, being online provides the perception of anonymity. These two things are believed to contribute to increased levels of aggression online.
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“So when you’re dealing with social media, if you don’t do a preventative training or education with your kids to let them know what it is that they can expect, which is kind of this negative, hostile, aggressive behavior from other kids,” Strohman says, “then a lot of times, kids get sucked into that world.”

Social Media, Cyberbullying, and Depression

It makes sense, then, that so many teens report having experienced cyberbullying. According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, in 2016, over 33 percent of middle and high school students said that they’ve been cyberbullied, and 11.5 percent admitted to cyberbullying others.
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Alarmingly, only a little over 10 percent of parents are aware of just how prevalent cyberbullying is, and most teens admit they would never tell their parents if they were being bullied online. Instead, our culture has embraced limitless access to smartphones from a very young age, giving children privacy and autonomy in an online world where boundaries don’t exist unless created by parents.
The average age for a child to get a smart phone is 10, with 39 percent of kids creating a social media account around age 11 and 11 percent creating one before age 10.
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At the same time, the rate of teens taking their own lives has risen significantly in the United States since 2007, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. While many factors are at play, one belief is that social media has played a role in this tragic uptick of depression and self-harm in teens, according to an NBC News interview with CDC expert Thomas Simon.
Excessive exposure to the online world seems to be impacting children and teens in two ways. First, we know that all social media users, even adults, have tend to filter what they post online to put out the best version of themselves and their life, but we’re generally not great at acknowledging that what we see online isn’t always accurate or true.
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“Teenagers know that what they see on social media are idealized versions of their friends’ lives, but it still makes them feel bad about their own,” explains family and marriage therapist Amy McManus. “Teenagers, whose brains are wired for connection to their peers during adolescence, are driven to social media by FOMO—fear of missing out. Consequently, they spend more time on social media and less time actually engaging in social activities than previous generations. Ironically, this leads to isolation and depressed mood.”
Secondly, since social media use lowers empathy and increases aggression in teens, it is the perfect environment for cyberbullying. And, for the victims of bullying, it doesn’t let up when they leave school and head home. In Riggs’ case, her bullies went out of their way to attack her on multiple social media platforms after school hours.
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“Teenage brains are not yet fully capable of restraining impulsive behavior, and unlimited anonymous opportunity is more temptation than many of them can handle,” says McManus. “I have to imagine that many of the kids who engage in anonymous bullying online would never bully someone in real life.”

What Parents Can Do

It’s a discouraging topic. Some parents may feel powerless to protect their children online, especially if their child is not likely to speak up and admit they are being abused on social media. The truth is that parents do have agency in the issue, but the steps are counter-cultural, giving some parents pause.
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Evidence suggests that restricting exposure to social media is a best first step. This idea is certainly catching on among some communities. Wait Until 8th began as a community effort by parents to support one another in their decision to withhold smartphones from their child until they reach the eighth grade. It quickly gained national attention.
Although many families are still giving their children access to the online world at a very young age, Strohman feels that parents should feel empowered to do things differently for the sake of their children.

You have to take that whole concept of privacy out of your mind.

“If you can keep them off that technology through middle school and wait until high school, I think you are far ahead of the curve and will protect them from a lot of the dangers and the impulsive behaviors that we see happening, damaging the psychology and mental health of these young, young children.”
Outside of restricting use, children and teens who do have access to social media should never have privacy, according to Strohman. She suggests that parents spot-check their child’s social media. Parents should have the passwords to all social media accounts being used by their children, they should be monitoring all apps being downloaded to the phone, and they should know how to monitor what websites their child is visiting on their phone.
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“You have to take that whole concept of privacy out of your mind,” she says. “Your kids only want privacy from you. They don’t care about anyone else, so that’s the challenge we face.”

Stepping in When It’s Gone Too Far

In some cases, parents may not realize the dangers of unlimited access to social media until things have gone too far. If a parent learns that their child is being bullied online, Strohman always recommends that parents take the situation very seriously, since school leadership often has too much going on to properly intervene in situations of cyberbullying.
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“The first thing I would suggest if you have a child who is being cyberbullied is to remove them from the situation,” she says. “If you really have a child who is exhibiting either self-harming behaviors, talking about that behavior, becoming withdrawn, showing signs of depression or anxiety, I would immediately take action to get a therapeutic professional involved.”
Taking a child off of social media may be especially difficult at first, according to Strohman, who says that it takes around two weeks for children and teens to adjust to life offline. The first few days may be especially difficult, as newly tech-free children may become emotional and even aggressive. With time, however, they begin to feel safer now that they are disconnected from abusive online behavior.

I think too many parents rely on their kids to do it alone.

If parents discover their child is the one participating in cyberbullying, Strohman instructs parents to avoid sweeping it under the rug or feeling nervous about addressing it with everyone involved. She suggests formal sit-downs with the children involved, along with their parents. Parents should get everything on the table, making sure all parents understand what has happened, and then have their child apologize in person for their behaviors.
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Additionally, Strohman instructs parents to talk to their child about how they can move on from their own abusive behavior online, teaching them empathy and providing them with the guidance they need to use social media in a moral and healthy way.
“Stand by them when they do it,” she adds. “I think too many parents rely on their kids to do it alone.”

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Lifestyle

That Pins-And-Needles Feeling (And 6 Other Freaky, Totally Normal Things About The Human Body)

When I brought my first child home from the hospital, I was a nervous wreck. I worried about her every minute for the first several days, and I would spend hours watching her sleep. When I finally dozed off at night, it was only because I was resting my hand on her chest to feel her chest rise and fall.
Imagine just how freaked out I was when, that very first night, she fell into a deep sleep and her breathing started sounding weird. She would breathe normally for a long time, and suddenly she was breathing loudly or her breathing would speed up for a short period of time. First, of course, I Googled it, and then I called my mom.
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“It’s normal,” my mom told me. Apparently, newborn breathing is pretty weird, and they can’t be expected to sound like we do when we sleep. I tried to stop obsessing, but the weird way my daughter breathed at night just ended up on the list of freaky medical things I worried about without due cause.
I’m not alone. There are a ton of strange things about the human body that make people worry but are totally normal. Here are seven examples of bizarre, but normal, conditions.

That Weird Way Your Baby Breathes

First things first, let’s revisit my first month of motherhood and talk a little about the weird way that newborns breathe.
Babies don’t breathe at a consistent rhythm when they sleep. And according to Susan Besser, MD, a primary care provider at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore, newborns don’t breathe through their mouths until they are several months old.
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“One more thing about babies and breathing: The nose and airway of the baby is smaller than an adult,” she says, “so the breathing noises may seem very loud.”
Of course, difficulty breathing is not something to brush off. If you suspect your baby is actually struggling to breathe, Besser offers some criteria for deciding if it’s time to seek care: Babies that are nursing well, able to cry vigorously, and seem alert are doing fine—even if their noses are stuffy. However, if the baby is showing any blueness around their lips or seems unresponsive, head right to the emergency room.

That Pins-and-Needles Feeling

This abnormality isn’t limited to children. Anyone can get a static-y feeling in their limbs, and it’s actually fairly common, so there’s no reason to panic. However, as the video below shows, sometimes this tingling can be a sign of something more serious.

The Post-Fever Rash

When you’re a parent, sick kids are just par for the course. Even if they’re not in daycare, they seem to share germs with each other any chance they get. A rash on a young kid, especially a baby, is pretty scary, but it’s much more common than you might think.
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It’s totally normal for a child to develop a rash 12–24 hours after a fever breaks. It’s called roseola, and it’s common in kids under the age of 2, according to Healthline. There is no way to treat roseola, so, in most cases, you can just wait for it to go away on its own.
When do you know that a rash is something more? When there are additional, serious symptoms happening at the same time, according to Besser.
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“Rashes, of course, can be due to lots of things: viruses, dry skin, poison ivy or other contact, reactions to foods or medications,” she explains. “The only time an emergency room visit is advised is if there are other serious symptoms associated with the rash—primarily difficulty breathing.”

That Weird, Stabbing Feeling

Experiencing chest pain makes a lot of people worry—and rightfully so—but not all chest pain is reason for concern. As it turns out, it is fairly normal for children and young adults to experience a specific, sudden onset of chest pain in short bursts.
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It’s called precordial catch syndrome, and it is benign. It’s a sharp, localized, stabbing feeling in the chest that lasts somewhere between 30 seconds and three minutes, according to the Health Service at the University of Wisconson–Stevens Point.
The pain, UWSP document says, doesn’t even come from the heart. “The pain probably comes from nerves in the inner lining of the chest cavity called the pleura which becomes pinched or irritated.”
They advise people experiencing precordial catch to “Relax, knowing that the pain is completely harmless and needs no specific treatment.”

“… everyone occasionally has palpitations or skipped beats.”

But while precordial catch syndrome isn’t a reason for a visit to the ER, that doesn’t mean you should ignore chest pain. If you’re experiencing chest pain on a regular basis, it’s probably a good idea to see your primary care physician to rule out any other issues.
“If you are young and/or in relative good health, it’s unlikely that chest pain or palpitations signal a serious heart problem,” explains Besser. “But this is an instance I strongly recommend you call your [primary care physician]. For the record, let me state, everyone occasionally has palpitations or skipped beats. It’s normal, but if it happens continuously, that might be an issue.”

The Ice Cream Headache

Okay, so most people know better than to freak out when experiencing a brain freeze. One thing most people don’t know is that this common experience has a not-so-common name.
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You may call it a brain freeze, but the medical world calls it sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia, according to ScienceDaily. It may be harmless, but it actually happens for a reason.
When you enjoy something super cold, the treat changes the temperature of the arteries that feed blood to the brain, causing them to contract and dilate. As a result, your brain believes you’re experiencing pain, and that’s why you experience a brain freeze.

“They are usually not life threatening unless accompanied by other symptoms …”

Scientists are actually using the brain freeze to learn about more serious headaches. By observing the brain after inducing a brain freeze, researchers hope to learn more about the causes of and treatment for headaches.
A brain freeze is certainly not worth an emergency room visit or a visit with your primary care physician, but what about other types of headaches? Even incredibly painful headaches don’t require a visit to the emergency room, Besser says, because they’re typically not life threatening.
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“If your only symptom is a headache, call your doctor,” Besser explains. “They are usually not life threatening unless accompanied by other symptoms such as [fainting] or signs and symptoms of a stroke, such as loss of use of a limb or the ability to talk.”

Lumps in Your Neck When You’re Sick

Since most people know at least one person who has been diagnosed with cancer, finding a lump anywhere on your body can be scary. Not all lumps are reason for concern, however: Your lymph nodes regularly become enlarged when you’re fighting off an illness.
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When your doctor feels around on your neck when you’re sick, they’re checking to see if your cervical lymph nodes are swollen. The name for this experience is lymphadenopathy, according to Medscape, and it typically happens because a pathogen is present in the body.
The remedy for lymphadenopathy is fighting the cause. As you and your doctor treat your infection, your lymph nodes should recede.
In rare cases, swollen lymph nodes are due to something more serious, like lymphoma. According to Mayo Clinic, if your lymph nodes swell for no reason, are present for two to four weeks, feel hard or rubbery/don’t move, or are “accompanied by persistent fever, night sweats or unexplained weight loss,” you should recontact your doctor.

That Time of the Month

When it comes to menstrual cycles, there are many symptoms, both painful and annoying, that are considered to be within the range of normal. And unfortunately for those who experience it, heavy bleeding is common and not a reason for alarm. Women do visit the emergency room on a regular basis because of their concerns about menstruation, according to Besser, but it is usually unwarranted.
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“Unless you are having a lot of pain or have bled so much to the point of fainting, which implies significant blood loss, save the visit for your primary care physician,” she says.
Heavy bleeding during your period might not be life threatening, but it is definitely a difficult experience that many women deal with. It’s called menorrhagia, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center, and it is technically defined as bleeding that soaks a tampon or pad every hour and cramps that make it difficult to continue daily activities. Don’t visit an emergency room if you are experiencing this, but do call your doctor if you’ve never talked about managing your symptoms before.

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Motherhood

Should We Buy Our Babies Christmas Presents?

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are parents to two children—a 10-month-old son, Dimitri Portwood, and a 3-year-old daughter, Wyatt Isabelle—and with Christmas around the corner, you’d think this famous family is preparing to celebrate big. But they’re not—in fact, they’re choosing to not give a single thing to their children.

“We’re instituting [no presents] this year because when the kids are [younger than] 1, it doesn’t really matter,” Kunis told People. “Last year when we celebrated Christmas, Wyatt was 2, and it was too much. We didn’t give her anything—it was the grandparents. The kid no longer appreciates the one gift. They don’t even know what they’re expecting; they’re just expecting stuff.”

“We’ve told our parents, ‘We’re begging you—if you have to give her something, pick one gift. Otherwise, we’d like to take a charitable donation, to the Children’s Hospital or … whatever you want,’” she added.

Now, before you call Kunis and Kutcher the Scrooge Parents of the Year, let’s give them some credit. Asking if we should buy our babies Christmas presents is an absolutely valid question.

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This year, my fourth baby will celebrate his first Christmas, and Kunis and Kutcher have sure made me feel more confident in skipping gifts for my little one.

For starters, we just bought all the essentials in time for his September birthday. He has cute clothes, cozy blankets, a soothing swing—you name it, he probably has it. There is truly nothing he needs. Plus, coming on the heels of two older brothers, we’ve got toys ready and waiting that he will love in the coming years. This baby of mine has snuggles on his Christmas list, and that’s something I can easily deliver.

Christmas Camps / To Gift or not to Gift

With a question like “should we buy our babies Christmas presents?” there is bound to be two camps, and my-oh-my, there are!

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First, we have the parents (and grandparents, and other family/friends, too) who are adamant about the gifting tradition of Christmas. In their minds, this holiday is about the joy of giving. It’s about finding something the recipient will love and appreciate. It’s about living in the moment and embracing the present towers and wrapping paper piles of Christmas morning.

Second are the folks like Kunis and Kutcher who want to scale things back. No gifts, or maybe one or two reasonable things. They want to give during the Christmas season, but not to their babies, because they won’t notice or care.

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Laura, a mom of two, isn’t necessarily a gifts-gone-crazy kind of mom, but she does love that Christmas gives her the excuse to buy for her children. When they were babies, she shares, “I used it as an excuse to buy all the new board books I wanted to add to our collection!” And really, who can fault her? Books are a wonderful gift idea for children regardless of their age.

Bianca, a mom of three, isn’t skipping Christmas for her kids. Instead, she is choosing to be find balance with the gifts she and her husband give. “Grandparents will most likely fill any void of toys during Christmas,” she says, “My focus has been on starting traditions and heirloom presents, such as a wooden Christmas ornament and making their stocking.”

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Like Bianca, I’ve seen that to be very true. Grandparents and aunts and uncles (especially the single ones who don’t have children of their own) tend to shower my children with gifts. Thankfully, they’ve honored my request to tame a bit of the gift-giving and opt for educational, imaginary, and experience-based gifts. Those are the ones that bring joy and thankfulness all year long.

Not for the Not-Naughty Tots

On the flip side of filling the Christmas tree boughs with wrapped gifts is Sophia, a mom of five. She’s been practicing minimalism alongside her husband and children for the last three years.

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“In life, I think we can all agree that we never know what the next season will bring,” she shares. “Our income can change without a moment’s notice, and expenses come and go. Not having the burden of a few thousand dollars ‘needed’ at Christmas each year brings such peace to the parent.”

“Knowing that with a simple $20 gift, our kids can have an opportunity to feel gratitude and joy is such a restful thing to carry in the mind and takes off so much
pressure that society tells us to carry.”

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Sophia is far from a Scrooge. She’s not depriving her children or making her baby miss out on something essential. Over the years, she has mothered measuredly, and her perspective has positively impacted her family.

“We know that our joy and value doesn’t come from what we own. Our children don’t feel most loved when we hand them a toy, we believe they feel most loved and seen when we get on the floor with them and join them … by playing or reading or even just sitting together in close contact,” she shares. It’s a decision to gift time and relationship—things that are truly cherished—over material possessions that only bring short-lived smiles.

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Kaywanda Lamb, a single parenting educator and blogger at KaywandaLamb.com, cuts right to the chase: “No, you should not buy infants gifts,” she states. “They are not aware nor are they amused … It is a waste, and that money can go toward their college fund, expenses, etcetera. Be wise instead of showing off. Invest in their future and your own peace of mind.”

Keeping Christmas Jolly

So, why do parents sway one way or the other? Is there a happy medium? Elena Mikalsen, PhD, a pediatric psychologist, says, “Parents either struggle with nostalgia and want to give the children the same exact Christmas they had as kids, or [they] have bad memories of their childhood Christmas and want to give their children the absolute opposite of the Christmas they had.”

But don’t let these traditions hold you back from making new traditions with your spouse and your children.

Knowing that can give us all pause for reflection. Rather than asking if we should buy our babies Christmas presents, perhaps we should ask why we buy our babies presents. Mikalsen encourages parents to “create Christmas for their own current family and not to let it be influenced as much by their childhood Christmases.”

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“By all means, keep your family traditions. Those may be wonderful and special. But don’t let these traditions hold you back from making new traditions with your spouse and your children.”

So much of Christmas is focused on the here and now. What does my baby need? What do the big siblings want? How can I make this season extra magical? Mikalsen, through her expertise in understanding children, wants parents to evaluate what the cost is when Christmas becomes extravagant.

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According to Psychology Today,” she says, “studies have shown that children who have fewer material possessions, but positive relationships with parents and peers, demonstrate higher self-esteem, less behavioral problems and can cope with problems better.”

Teach your children that giving meaningful gifts is more important than expensive gifts

“A good way to reinforce this concept is to shop for presents for others and to donate clothes and toys to Goodwill, Salvation Army and any other charity in your local area which is collecting new or used toys or items,” she says. “Studies have found that people value gifts they buy for others more than gifts they receive and feel happier giving than receiving gifts.”

So, if you feel compelled to buy during the holidays, follow Mikalsen’s advice, and Kunis and Kutcher’s lead, and find a charity you connect with. Support it with your dollars rather than needlessly filling your baby’s nursery.

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Looking beyond infancy, Mikalsen believes parents should “teach kids gratitude by expressing appreciation for the things you have as a family rather than talking about things you don’t have. Teach your children that giving meaningful gifts is more important than expensive gifts.”

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Sophia, the minimalist mom, puts this in action during the Christmas season. “Since [my children] have never been given a large number of gifts,” she says, “they don’t expect to receive them. They are overjoyed with their gift each time and immediately throw their arms around our necks and thank us for the gift. We don’t have to remind them to be thankful for it, because we spend all year long fostering a heart of gratitude.”

We are grateful for what we have. And that’s enough.

No matter the gifting tradition you have established in the past or the changes you hope to make this year, clearly communicate your plan with your children, family, and friends. And more than anything, find ways to embrace the non-material parts of the holidays. Those are the lasting memories I think we all want our children to grow up cherishing.

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If you’re nervous about making a change, take Sophia’s advice. After all, she is practicing this philosophy successfully with five kids!

“It’s really never too late to implement [this] kind of mindset for … children. Kids are so adaptable and resilient,” she says.

“They’ll see the change of our hearts, and they’ll be impacted by it throughout the year as they grow in their gratitude. Most times, the adults are the ones putting expectations on how much our children ‘need’ at Christmas. I think we would be pleasantly surprised if we changed our focus at Christmas time from inward to outward. We are grateful for what we have. And that’s enough.”

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Lifestyle

Calcium Deficiency: What You Need To Know

“Got milk?”
Milk got a boost with this popular and clever marketing campaign 20 years ago, and the question soon became part of the everyday lexicon. Children and adults asked, “Got milk?” every time they took a drink of it. And this question still rings true today…although, “Got calcium?” is perhaps more appropriate.
With the range of calcium-fortified products on the market, you can find a variety of milk substitutes that can give you a suitable dose.
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But even with all these products on your kitchen shelf and in your fridge, do you get enough calcium?

What is calcium?

Calcium is one of the most bountiful minerals found in the human body, with almost 100 percent of it positioned in our bones and teeth. The small remaining amount is located in our blood, in our muscles, and within our cell liquids.

Some research suggests that calcium aids in reducing cardiovascular disease risk, lowering blood pressure, and reducing risk of hypertension.

Almost every body tissue uses calcium, making it an essential part in living a healthy, flourishing life.
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“Calcium is required for muscle function and hormone secretion,” Becky Kerkenbush, registered dietitian and member of the Wisconsin Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, says. “Some research suggests that calcium aids in reducing cardiovascular disease risk, lowering blood pressure, and reducing risk of hypertension.”

How do you know you have a calcium deficiency?

Calcium-deficient individuals might not show any signs or symptoms, especially if it is mild, says Jennifer Wider, MD. But if the deficiency is more severe, she notes that symptoms can include muscle weakness, fatigue, and irritability.
Wider recommends scheduling a visit with your health care provider to take a blood test that will check your total calcium levels. This test is the most common diagnostic test to evaluate if you are calcium deficient. It’s usually quite accurate because the balance between free and bound calcium in your bloodstream is generally stable.
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If your results show an atypical total calcium level, your doctor might order additional tests to measure levels of phosophorus, magnesium, vitamin D, and other hormones to determine if you have any type of underlying health issue.

What does calcium affect?

Osteoporosis is a condition in which the bones lose minerals faster than the body can replace them. Most common in older women, osteoporosis makes the bones fragile and brittle. A lack of calcium, according to health resource WebMD, can lead to this condition.
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Consuming calcium, and following a diet rich in calcium-fortified foods, can reduce your risk of high blood pressure. Calcium is “one of the key minerals involved in blood pressure control,” according to Harvard’s Heart Letter, a newsletter about heart health. As far as cancer goes, the National Cancer Institute indicated that calcium can reduce the number of opportunities for colorectal cancer to occur, as well as improving cell-to-cell signaling and possibly causing cancer cells to die off.
Cramps and muscle spasms from a lack of calcium typically occur around the thighs, arms, and underarms, typically at night. Calcium is a key part of operating muscle fibers, and a calcium deficiency can result in muscle irregularity.
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Low calcium levels can result in dry skin and weak, brittle nails. As mentioned before, teeth have a high percentage of calcium, so low levels can result in tooth discoloration and weakness. A lack of calcium can also cause insomnia, and even if you can sleep, your body might fail to fall into a deep sleep.

Who does a calcium deficiency most often affect?

According to Julie Upton, a registered dietician, Appetite for Health co-founder, and co-author of 101 Fat Habits & Slim Solutions, those particularly at risk for consuming insufficient calcium intake include the following:
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Anyone who eschews dairy in their diet, like vegans and certain vegetarians, might have a challenging time getting adequate calcium intake, as dairy foods are the best source of calcium. Although it is possible to get adequate calcium on dairy-free and vegan diets, it does take careful planning and generally requires adding some calcium-fortified foods, like a calcium-fortified soy or almond milk, to your diet.
Women are often deficient in calcium because of their lower energy requirements, as well as their frequent low dairy intake. This holds especially true with menopausal women and pregnant women.
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Older adults are in similar boat due to their lower total energy intake, and they often consume fewer dairy foods than younger or middle-aged adults. Whenever your energy needs decline, every calorie counts to get all the nutrients you need.
In addition, people that are lactose intolerant are also at risk for a calcium deficiency. These individuals cannot completely digest lactose, the natural sugar in milk, avoid dairy products—and therefore miss the calcium they provide.

How much calcium do you need?

The National Institutes of Health provides a table of recommended daily allowances of calcium.
A newborn, according to NIH, requires 200 milligrams a day. By the age of 5, they require 1,000 milligrams. Puberty causes the need to ramp up to 1,300 milligrams, but young adults fall back down to 1,000 milligrams by the age of 19. Middle-aged women and elderly men require a bit more, needing 1,200 milligrams.
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To give you an idea of the calcium content typical in most foods, one cup of yogurt contains 450 milligrams, one cup of skim milk has 300 milligrams, and one cup of soy milk has 200 to 400 milligrams. You will also find milk in fruits and vegetables: one cup of raw kiwi has 50 milligrams, one cup of cooked broccoli has 180 milligrams, and one cup of raw kale has 55 milligrams. Additionally, grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, fish, and other foods like molasses have built-in calcium.
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For those looking for other calcium sources, you can purchase calcium-fortified cereals, fruit juices, and oatmeal on the market.

How can we avoid a calcium deficiency?

To maintain a proper calcium balance in your body, Thomas recommends eating a plant-based diet, as well as getting plenty of vitamin D from reasonable exposure to sunshine.
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Vanessa Rissetto, RD, believes you should look to food sources outside of dairy products, as other foods are even more rich in calcium. Examples include salmon and sardines canned with bones, kale, collards, broccoli, mustard greens, turnip greens, bok choy, and sesame seeds.
For calcium supplements, she suggests choosing calcium citrate or calcium citrate malate, taking it in at least two divided doses with meals for the best absorption.

Recent Developments in Calcium Deficiency Research

The phosphorus phenomenon: The more phosphorus you have in your diet, the more your need for calcium increases.
“As the amount of phosphorus you eat rises, so does the need for calcium,” reads the University of Maryland Medical Center’s overview on phosphorus.
“The delicate balance between calcium and phosphorus is necessary for proper bone density and prevention of osteoporosis.”

To increase calcium, lactose-free dairy products are an inexpensive source.

“Phosphorus is indeed found in meat and dairy, but there is also ‘hidden’ phosphorus, which manufacturers add to food and beverages, usually as a preservative or flavor enhancer,” says Priscilla Blevins, RD and dietitian for EduPlated. “It is typically your convenient, ready-to-eat, and processed foods that actually contain a large amount of hidden phosphorus.”
She recommends sticking to eating fresh and unprocessed foods instead and watching for words with “phos” or “phosphate” on the food labels.
Magnesium relevancy: The calcium and magnesium balance is key, too. As noted in the medical journal BMJ Open, “Magnesium … and calcium … antagonise each other in (re)absorption, inflammation and many other physiological activities.”
Barry Sears, PhD, author of the Zone Diet book series and president of the Inflammation Research Foundation, says most Americans are deficient in magnesium. To increase magnesium, he suggests we eat leafy green vegetables and nuts. “To increase calcium,” he says, “lactose-free dairy products are an inexpensive source.”
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“If you use a calcium supplement, then make sure the ratio of calcium to magnesium is always in a 2:1 ratio for optimal results.”
The amount of the parathyroid hormone: This hormone makes sure you have the right amount of calcium and phosphorus in your body by helping balance them both out. Without adequate vitamin D, parathyroid hormone levels rise to unhealthy levels.
“[Increased intake of] vitamin D—which most Americans are deficient in—helps control the amount of parathyroid hormone in the body,” Blevins says, “thus allowing it to successfully balance calcium and phosphorus.”
Like calcium, vitamin D is associated with healthier bones, according to research in the Journal of Nutrition.
Nixing calcium supplements: Blevins suggests sticking to eating fresh foods the majority of the time, eating dairy and legumes (also high in calcium), limiting processed foods in your diet, and taking a D3 vitamin with 2000 IU a day.
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As one of the most vital minerals in the body, calcium is necessary for survival, but you do not need to do it with dairy products alone. You can receive a healthy dose of calcium from eating foods outside of cheeses and milk. However, you must stay vigilant in knowing how much calcium is within the foods you consume to ensure you meet the recommended daily allowance for your age group.

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Lifestyle

Celiac Disease, Gluten Sensitivity, And If The Average Person Needs To Worry

A decade ago, tasty, gluten-free options were hard to find at your local supermarket. Back then, if you needed to avoid gluten and were lucky enough to find a product you could eat, it almost certainly tasted like cardboard.
The gluten-free market has come a long way; honestly, it’s become a cultural phenomenon. These days, it’s difficult to walk through the aisles of a grocery store without seeing the latest assortment of gluten-free products lining the shelves. Even some of our old standbys, like General Mills Rice Chex and Cape Cod Kettle Chips, don the GF label.

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Mama Knows Gluten Free

With the surge in fad diets as of late (The Whole30, The Dukan Diet, and the Paleo diet, to name a few), gluten has been portrayed as the chief food offender in our lives, and people who restrict their intake of it will (hopefully) look and feel better.
In certain health and wellness circles, there’s a collective distaste for gluten: It’s bad for your health, the thought process goes, and you should avoid it—and you might have a sensitivity to it, even if you don’t realize it.
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Does gluten deserve the bad rap it’s getting? There are circumstances, of course, such as wheat allergies and celiac disease, when avoiding gluten is a crucial step to improving your health. But can you be healthy with a diet that includes gluten? Here, we’ll take a more in-depth look at the gluten-free world and whether the average person needs to worry about eating the stuff.

What is gluten?

Gluten is the name given to the naturally-occurring protein found in grains like wheat, rye, triticale (a hybrid of wheat and rye), barley, and more. In cooking and baking, it serves a fundamental purpose—it acts as a binding agent and gives structure, shape, and texture to food like bread, pastries, and pasta.
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Besides flour-based products, you can also find gluten in a variety of items like soups, salad dressings, condiments, soy sauce, lunch meats, and more. Additionally, oats can become cross-contaminated with gluten if they’re processed in a facility with other grains, so they’re not necessarily gluten-free, either.
Furthermore, there are several hidden sources of gluten, so it may not be evident from a food label whether an item contains it. According to the Mayo Clinic and the Celiac Disease Foundation, some of the lesser known names for gluten (or items that may contain it as a hidden ingredient) include:

  • Malt (malt vinegar, malted milk, malt extract, malt syrup, or malt flavoring)
  • Hydrolyzed wheat protein
  • Brewer’s yeast
  • Yeast extract
  • Bulgur
  • Wheat germ and wheat bran
  • Graham flour
  • Matzo or Matzo meal
  • Semolina
  • Spelt
  • Natural flavors
  • Rice syrup

Who needs to be concerned about gluten?

On one end of the spectrum, we have people with celiac disease. When they consume gluten, it triggers an autoimmune response—the gluten causes damage to their small intestines.
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People who have celiac disease may experience a host of symptoms, which usually appear 46–72 hours after consuming gluten. These symptoms include abdominal pain and bloating, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, migraines, depression, and more—in fact, the Celiac Disease Foundation reports that there are more than 200 known symptoms of the disease.
At present, approximately 3 million Americans are living with this illness, according to the Celiac Disease Center. The disease can be diagnosed using antibody blood tests, genetic testing, and gastrointestinal endoscopies. The recommended treatment is a strict adherence to a lifelong, gluten-free diet and the correction of any nutritional deficiencies.

So, while it’s clear people with celiac disease need to eat a gluten-free diet, what about the rest of us?

Well, making up the rest of the gluten-allergy scale is gluten sensitivity. To learn about these, we talked with Karen Raden, a registered dietitian and certified clinical nutritionist.

[Many people] can benefit significantly from going gluten-free.

Raden has worked in the field of integrative and functional medicine for 20 years. Her clientele includes a mix of people seeking help with chronic health conditions, weight loss, heart disease, digestive disorders, food sensitivities, athletic performance, meal planning, and more. We spoke with her about whether gluten sensitivity is a myth or if there’s actually merit to the idea of non-celiac people removing gluten from their diets.
“I believe that gluten sensitivity is not a myth,” Raden says. “Many people have gluten sensitivities and are not aware of this, as symptoms do not always present as digestive disorders … . Gluten sensitivity may show up as neurologic symptoms, headaches, joint issues, muscle aches and pains, weight gain, swelling, mood issues, and more.”
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Since no laboratory test exists for gluten sensitivity—only for celiac disease and wheat allergies—you need to consult your doctor to determine whether it’s gluten that’s causing those issues. More on that in a bit.
“In my experience,” continues Raden, “no one is hurt by going gluten-free, as long as they eat a [nutrient-dense] food plan, including veggies, healthy fats, fruits, and protein. [Many people] can benefit significantly from going gluten-free.”

How do you figure out if you’re actually sensitive to gluten?

In 2012, a report in BMC Medicine suggests there may be a range of gluten-related disorders—from celiac disease to varying degrees of gluten intolerance. Furthermore, a 2016 study in BMJ Journals indicates non-celiac wheat sensitivity is a real condition, and it affects nearly 18 million Americans, according to an estimate by Alessio Fasano, MD. (Some, though, dispute that number).
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While, as stated above, there are tests to determine whether someone has wheat allergies and celiac disease, there is no specialized testing procedure to officially measure gluten sensitivities. One way to find out if you’ll respond positively to removing gluten is through an elimination diet—a short-term diet that’s used to determine whether certain symptoms are caused or made worse by a particular food.
“If symptoms do improve, then reintroduce the gluten-containing foods and see if symptoms come back,” states Raden. “If they do, you can really consider for your own experience if this food is a good option. You can eliminate other foods in a similar fashion to see if you have a sensitivity to those, too.”
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If you feel better after gluten is removed from your diet, this could be an indicator that you have a gluten sensitivity. If you take gluten out of your diet with no change in how you feel, though, maybe your symptoms are related to something else entirely. Either way, you’ll want to follow up with a medical professional for additional testing or recommendations.

Should everyone go gluten-free?

For many people, going gluten-free has become synonymous with a healthier lifestyle. But there’s no need to hop on the bandwagon just yet. While it might be tempting to make this generalization, many people can consume gluten without any noticeable issues—especially if it’s eaten as part of an overall healthy diet.
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“I do keep some people on gluten,” says Raden, “especially if they don’t have celiac disease and they do not want to eliminate gluten. … if people are feeling good, have no physical or emotional issues that they want to resolve, and their blood work looks good, … we discuss keeping gluten in their diet—but trying to choose the least processed options.”
Plus, going gluten-free doesn’t automatically make you healthier. “If someone eliminates gluten and then chooses to eat mostly gluten-free pasta, gluten-free cookies and cakes, and potatoes, this is not a healthful diet,” adds Raden.

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Bakeryandsnacks.com

In reality, there’s a significant need for more in-depth research on the subject of gluten intolerance and it’s long-term impact on your health. Though many people report being helped by a gluten-free diet, there’s still a lot we need to learn about one of the most abundant proteins on the planet.

How are food companies reacting to the increasing demand for gluten-free products?

The gluten-free market is on track to reach an astounding $7.59 billion value by 2020, according to Statista. With an influx of people desiring gluten-free products, food companies are quick to meet the demand for more food choices.

I do think gluten-free is here to stay.

Yewande Odusanwo is the founder and chief digital marketer at Zora Media, a digital marketing consulting firm for healthy lifestyle brands. Says Odusanwo: “There is a rise in consumers wanting healthy foods and wanting products that are better for their health and contain no artificial ingredients. Companies are seeing growth in consumers purchasing gluten-free products, so they are meeting consumer demand.”

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Grandma’s Gluten Free Goods in Kitchner, Ontario, Canada (Gluten Free and Vegetarian)

In general, customers are shifting their food focus to healthier options: “Brands are scrambling to make their products appear healthier without artificial ingredients or preservatives,” Odusanwo adds.
“Plus,” she says, “this trend is happening not only with companies making gluten-free claims; we are seeing these with other nutritional claims by big brands. Consumers no longer trust larger brands to be free of preservatives, so they are trying smaller, niche brands that are positioned as only having all-natural ingredients from day one. I don’t think companies would change if consumers weren’t demanding better ingredients in products and voting with their dollars.”
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Does Odusanwo see the gluten-free trend ever losing steam?
“I do think gluten-free is here to stay. For the consumers that need gluten-free products, they will continue to purchase the brands that offer them products that make them feel better. For others, they will continue to purchase gluten-free products as long as they don’t have to sacrifice taste or price. If they like the taste of the products, then gluten-free is just an added plus,” she says.
So whether you choose to eat gluten or go gluten-free, it appears the gluten-free craze isn’t going away anytime soon.

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Lifestyle

Christmas Music Can Be Bad For You, And Other Ways The Holidays Affect Your Health

Ahh, Christmas.

The lights, the parties, the music, the cheer—it’s the most wonderful time of the year! Oh, sorry. Do you have that song stuck in your head now?

Or maybe it already was, what with the radio, TV ads, and mall muzak drowning us with decked halls, hollied boughs, and fa-la-la-la-las every December—if not as soon as the Halloween decorations are boxed up.

It’s a reminder that we have to buy presents, cater for people, organize celebrations.

It can be draining, this annual onslaught of Yuletide tunes. In fact, some experts think too much Christmas music is actually bad for our mental health. Clinical psychologist Linda Blair told Sky News that Christmas music makes it particularly hard for retail workers to concentrate, bombarded as they are with “Jingle Bells” as they restock shelves.

What’s more, these ring-ring-ring-a-ling earworms can wriggle their way into our very brains, affecting how we feel and act. Christmas music “might make us feel that we’re trapped,” Blair said. “It’s a reminder that we have to buy presents, cater for people, organize celebrations.”

It might also drive us to make more impulse purchases, as Blair noted the effect music can have on consumer behavior.

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For many people, though, it’s not just the merry melodies that are maddening. All of the Christmas season’s reds and greens give them a bad case of the holiday blues.

Under Pressure

The holiday blues isn’t a technical term—nor is it a simple case of the bah humbugs. But the phrase is colloquially used for the very real anxiety and depression some people experience from Thanksgiving through New Year’s.

I don’t even know what we’re celebrating anymore.

Laurel Jernigan, a retired school librarian, knows exactly what Linda Blair means by “trapped.” “Pressure,” she immediately answers when HealthyWay asked her how Christmas makes her feel.

“Pressure to perform,” Jernigan continues. “To be perfect. To have to do stuff like—have to be jolly, have to want to listen to Christmas, have to want to go shopping for all these gifts. It feels like there’s expectation to be happy and in this,” she pauses, “spirit.”

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“I don’t even know what we’re celebrating anymore. Consumerism? I feel like it’s imposed on us, on society,” she says.

And also like Blair, Jernigan locates much of this pressure in reminders, lamenting how she can’t flip on the news or walk into the store for a simple gallon of milk without being reminded to “buy buy buy,” she says.

But other sources of pressure for Jernigan reach far back into her past. She spent her childhood Christmases in Cleveland, rushing around to see relatives. “The whole family had to go to each other’s houses because everybody decorated, and you had to look at their houses. Everybody had to go over—and everybody got mad at each other and talked about each other,” she says.

“There was pressure,” she refrains. That pressure made for friction and tension in family relationships. Christmas didn’t mean goodwill towards all and peace on earth. It meant “sitting in the back of a car and hearing my mom complain about everybody.”

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Years later, when she was a mother of three and practicing Catholic, she felt pressure to keep the materialism of Christmas at bay: “I had a boundary that I was not going to step over the threshold into the glitz and unholy glamor” of the holidays.

Then she suffered a surprise divorce. “The loneliness,” Jernigan opens up. “The family unit that I believed in was shattered.” Each year, Christmastime reminds her of that pain—not to mention the guilt she bore as her sons shuttled back and forth between two households, the guilt she bore because she couldn’t afford as many presents as her ex-husband could.

Have you been naughty or nice—to yourself?

Jernigan’s pain, fortunately, has greatly subsided since her divorce. She’s long been happily remarried, and husband teases her that she isn’t a Scrooge but has “hyperholiphobia”—his clever coinage for an irrational fear of the holiday season.

But Jernigan does thoughtfully pinpoint some major triggers of a blue Christmas: negative childhood experiences, traumatic episodes, and, yes, societal pressure.

For his part, Robert Hales, MD, Chair of the University of California–Davis Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, identifies some more immediate—and perhaps more easily overlooked—causes of our yuletide woes.

During the holidays, we drink more, eat more, and sleep less. Excessive drinking commonly co-occurs with depression, overeating can hurt our body image, and lack of sleep contributes to lethargy. And don’t forget to exercise, which keeps our bodies and minds happy and healthy—something easy to slough off when we’re flying around like Rudolph.

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Moderation and rest during the season’s convivial congregations can boost our energy and buoy our self-esteem. So, too, can making sure we don’t over-schedule ourselves with festivities, which can raise our stress levels. If we do have a busy calendar, plan for it ahead of time, as all that last-minute shopping and mad-dash cookie-baking can rocket our blood pressure to the North Pole.

Time, indeed. In a sweeping 2006 survey of holiday stress by researchers at Greenberg Quinlan Rosner, 67 percent of participants reported lack of time caused them stress during the Christmas season. This was followed closely behind at 62 percent by lack of money, given the great demands the holidays place on the pocketbook. Setting a budget—and holding yourself to it—can help manage the financial challenges of all the yearend events.

The survey also found that women were more likely than men to report increases in stress during Christmas. “Holiday stress has a particular impact on women, who take charge of many of the holiday celebrations, particularly the tasks related to preparing meals and decorating the home,” it concluded as its first key finding. So, be sure to make Christmas preparations a shared responsibility in your life.

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And the third leading stressor? Commercialism or hype, with 53 percent of respondents indicating it caused them stress often or sometimes.

Hales reminds us, though, that some of the hype we experience during the holidays isn’t exterior—or “all that tinsel and crap,” as Jernigan bluntly sums it to HealthyWay with a laugh.

It’s also the interior hype of the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and on our families to have the perfect, gingerbread-cookie-cutter holiday. To decorate the perfect tree. To cook the perfect holiday meal. To get along angelically with family. To look divine in your dress as you throw the perfect holiday party. To make the most lasting, magical, and Instagrammable memories.

Remember that perfection is make-believe—just like those sparkling, tear-jerking, wrapped-up-in-a-bow denouements of It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.

Learn to distinguish the holiday blues from more serious depression.

Another contributor to seasonal sadness is, well, simply that: seasonal. The days are shorter and, for those living in more northerly climes, wetter and colder—all compounded by daylight savings time screwing with our biological clocks. The time and weather changes can indeed sap our spirits, but does that mean our holiday blues is full-fledged Seasonal Affective Disorder?

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SAD is much bandied about this time of year, but it’s much more serious than our occasional run-ins with Charlie Brown. Mental health professionals consider SAD a form of major depressive disorder that coincides with specific seasons, typically winter though sometimes summer.

Just getting a bit down during Christmas—which can be normal—doesn’t mean you’re presenting with SAD. SAD, as with depression in general, has to significantly interfere with people’s daily functioning and relationships. Many of us gain weight and sleep more around the holidays, but people with SAD experience those symptoms more intensely along with chronic feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, loss of interest and focus, and even thoughts of taking their own lives.

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The severity of these symptoms, though, are also why SAD is much rarer: Norman Rosenthal, MD, notes only 6 percent of the U.S. population suffers from full-fledged SAD, with another 14 percent dealing with lesser seasonal mood changes.

As always, seek out a doctor if you’re concerned your holiday blues is more than a temporary funk. And in the spirit of the season, encourage your loved ones to do the same.

Christmas Fact and Fiction

Now, one of the more severe symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, as we saw, are thoughts of ending it all—and there is a story that makes the media rounds, as predictably as Black Friday sales, that rates of it always rise during the holidays.

But this is a myth. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has found that the number of people killing themselves is the lowest in December. Rates actually rise in spring and summer. Christine Moutier, MD, told NPR that the kind of stress we experience during the holidays, despite common assumptions, aren’t major risk factors for taking one’s life. Genetics, trauma, mental illness, and access to lethal means are, though, Moutier said.

It’s important not to perpetuate the myth, the CDC urges, because the misinformation can hamper efforts to help people struggling with mental health challenges.

The holidays are associated, however, with increased heart attacks and other emergency room visits. A major 2004 national study found a 5 percent increase in heart-related deaths during the holidays. Some cardiologists link the jump to various stressors that exacerbate conditions for people with existing risk to heart disease: cold weather further constricting arteries, more physical labor like shoveling snow or putting up lights, increased intake of salts and fats, and delaying care due to a busy holiday schedule.

And it’s not just the eggnog that’s spiked around the holidays. So, too, are visits to the emergency room due to excessive drinking, especially on New Year’s Eve. The New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has documented 50 percent mor
e drinking-related emergency room
visits on New Year’s Eve compared to New Year’s Day.

A good rule of thumb? Don’t overdo it. Food, drink, exertion—and take it easy on the tinsel while you’re at it, for Laurel Jernigan’s sake.

All millennials want for Christmas is you.

Another “grinch” more and more people are watching out for is SDD. It sounds scary, but it won’t be sending you to the doctor’s office. Maybe the therapist’s, though.

SDD is Seasonal Dating Disorder, a term some are using for the tendency of some, often twenty- and thirty-year-old singles to pair up during the holiday season. It also popularly goes by cuffing season, so named because singles are handcuffing themselves to their new-found beau(x) for wintertime.

We all want someone to snuggle with around the fireplace with cups of hot cocoa and a Netflix binge of Christmas movies, don’t we? That’s at least what cuffers, as these seasonal daters are sometimes dubbed, say.

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And indeed, that’s what Market Watch found in January 2016, when eHarmony jumped 21 percent in mobile registrations since Christmas and OKCupid 30 percent. Zoosk expected a 20 percent jump heading into the New Yea, and Grindr a 30 to 50 percent increase over the holidays. Match.com anticipated 60 percent between Christmas Day and Valentine’s Day. And on the day after Christmas alone, Tinder told Market Watch it typically sees a 5 to 7 percent rise.

More recently, according to Vogue, the dating app Hinge polled its users and found men were 15 percent more likely to look for a relationship in winter—and 11 percent were less likely in spring and summer. Women reported being 5 percent more interested during winter, and 5 percent less in spring and summer.

Ask Santa for a little reflection this year.

Relationship psychologists and counselors, though, don’t exactly recommend jumping into the one-horse open sleigh with your latest seasonal sweetheart. Dating out of fear of being alone during the holidays can lead to settling, conflating convenience for love, or harm your ability to form lasting relationships.

Cuffers are right on one thing, though: Relationships are key to holiday happiness.

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That was clear as silver bells when Amanda and Sue O’Connell spoke to HealthyWay about their experience of the holidays. Amanda lives and works in Ireland, but there is no question she flies the 11-hour-flight home to Southern California for Christmas every year to spend time with her family—including Sue, her mother.

Amanda is always swept up by Christmas: “It makes me feel euphoric, like my spirits are being lifted. It makes me feel sentimental and teary-eyed most of the time, because it reminds me of my family and of the wonderful Christmases that we’ve always had, not only as a child, but even now.”

Sue echoes her sentiments “It makes me very excited. It’s, for me, all about the family coming together. And because we all feel that same excitement, it’s contagious.”

“None of the magic is gone” from their Christmas celebrations, Amanda says, “because for the most part, we all buy into the premise of Christmas.”

As they described it, much of that premise rests on their traditions. For many families, Christmas traditions can feel rote, obligatory, and performative, causing friction instead of cohesion year after year.

… I wanted it to be a bigger day, not just focused on gifts but about being together.

But for the O’Connells, traditions are like glue. “It’s never up for debate that we put up a tree, if we’re going to have stockings, if we’re going to have a meal,” Amanda explains. “Knowing that these things are always in place—and even as our family gets bigger, people are just added into that.”

Sue describes how they open gifts, one by one, explaining to each other why they thought the present was right for them or how it reminded them of a fond memory.

The O’Connells are quick to validate Jernigan’s experience: that Christmas can’t be forced on anyone, that one’s childhood experiences of Christmas shape whether they become Ebenezer Scrooge or Will Ferrell’s Buddy in Elf. Sue, in fact, grew up in a divorced household, remembering Christmas as just going over to a relatives to open gifts. “When I had my kids, I wanted it to be a bigger day, not just focused on gifts but about being together,” she says.

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But the real secret to the O’Connell Christmas magic isn’t looking ahead—which can stress, like Christmas music does, a lot of people out by reminding them of all the shopping they have to do, all the cookies they have to bake, all the Christmas cards they have to send out, all the parties they have to get ready for.

Instead, it’s looking back.

“Because it comes at the end of the year, you reflect back on your year,” Amanda O’Connell says. “For instance, I have had a stressful year at work and with buying a house and making big life changes, and yet, when I reflect back on the year, I’m very proud at how much stuff I’ve accomplished.”

And it’s these family-filled moments of pause and gratitude that help make their Christmas, well, “the most wonderful time of the year,” as Amanda puts it.

Ahh, Christmas.