Tag: mid-tier

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Health x Body Wellbeing

Does CBD Oil Really Work? Here’s What Two Industry Experts Have To Say About The Trending Remedy

As more and more states legalize cannabis, people are becoming increasingly interested in the medical benefits of the plant. One topic that seems to be on everyone’s mind is cannabidiol oil, or CBD oil.
Cannabis plants contain over 60 chemical compounds called cannabinoids. Two of those cannabinoids are CBD and tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). These cannabinoids affect our endocannabinoid system, which is located throughout our bodies. By affecting our endocannabinoid system, cannabinoids cause various changes within our bodies.
THC has an intoxicating effect, which means it gets you high. CBD, on the other hand, won’t get you high—but research suggests that it does have a number of other health-impacting properties. CBD oil is meant to harness those health benefits for those who want to treat certain conditions and ailments, such as anxiety, using a natural product.
In theory, CBD oil has a high concentration of CBD and little to no THC, meaning that it won’t make you high. However, the actual definition of CBD oil isn’t so clear-cut. “The terms CBD oil and cannabis oil are broad terms that are not defined with any certainty,” says Gary Hiller, president and COO of Phytecs, a biotech company that’s researching the endocannabinoid system.
While the scientific definition of CBD oil is less than straightforward, there’s one big difference between CBD oil and cannabis oil: While cannabis oil is only legally available in certain states, CBD is available everywhere according to Emma Chasen, a cannabis educator, activist, and director of the Sativa Science Club.
So, CBD oil may be legal, but is it effective?

Are the benefits of CBD oil real?

You might have heard that CBD oil can address and soothe a wide range of conditions, from mental illnesses to skin problems to aching joints—but is there any substance to these claims?
“CBD oil has many reported health benefits,” Chasen says. “It acts as an analgesic—that is, a pain-reliever—especially for neuropathic pain. It has anti-inflammatory, anti-anxiety, and antidepressant properties.”
Despite the significant number of reported benefits, further research is needed to verify these claims. “Unfortunately, only a very limited number of controlled, extensive, and DA-conforming clinical trials have been completed and reported on the application of CBD or [CBD oil],” says Tamás Bíró, MD, PhD, DSc, director of applied research at Phytecs.
That said, the research that does exist is promising. Bíró notes that CBD was shown to be effective at treating certain forms of difficult-to-manage childhood epilepsy, like Lennox-Gastaut syndrome and Dravet syndrome.
According to Bíró, smaller studies and pre-clinical trials have also suggested that CBD can have a positive effect on a number of health conditions, including

  • Mental disorders including schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • Tumors
  • Cardiovascular diseases
  • Inflammatory and autoimmune conditions
  • Metabolic syndromes
  • Kidney diseases
  • Skin conditions like atopic eczema and acne

Bíró notes that while these results are promising, they require further research before we can confidently say that CBD oil is an effective treatment. In other words, it looks like CBD might be helpful for those who are living with various diseases and conditions like those listed above—but right now, the medical and scientific communities just aren’t sure.

Is CBD oil safe?

Many people feel like it’s worth trying, though, even if scientists aren’t 100 percent sure how CBD oil works. While CBD-infused products can be expensive, the health risks are very low. For those who are struggling to find relief for their health conditions, it might be a case of little to lose, much to gain. “There are of course side effects of CBD oil, but none are dramatically negative,” Chasen says. “There is no defined lethal dose of CBD, so we can assume that it is fairly safe to consume.”
For those wondering if CBD oil is safe for those who are pregnant or nursing, Chasen says, “There is no research that points to the negative effects of CBD on people who are pregnant or nursing.” He goes on to say, “We do need more research to uncover the long-term effects of CBD medicine on people who are nursing and their children.” In other words, exercise caution and consult your doctor prior to using any CBD products especially if you’re pregnant or nursing.

How can I use CBD oil? And how does it feel?

CBD is available in a range of different forms including in pills, capsules, and oils. CBD oil can be taken on its own, but some people prefer to add it to food or mix it into smoothies in order to mask its distinct (and to some, off-putting) flavor.
Immediately after consuming CBD oil, one might feel a sense of calm or euphoria, Chasen says. Since it’s a muscle relaxant, you might feel your body becoming less tense. “CBD oil can cause drowsiness in some, so I’d recommend consuming in the evening the first couple of times,” Chasen notes.
If you want to use CBD oil for a specific ailment, it’s always best to speak to your physician first. Consider looking online for a cannabis-friendly physician if your usual doctor is unhelpful.

Can CBD oil work on my pet?

Cannabinoids can affect all mammals since all mammals have an endocannabinoid system. There are plenty of companies that claim their CBD products will help your pets, and a lot of anecdotal evidence suggests dogs can benefit from CBD oil. Unfortunately, more studies are needed to validate these claims.
However, some studies suggest CBD oil can provide hope for dogs and their humans. A 2012 study showed that CBD oil soothed inflammatory skin disorders on dogs. According to a 2017 BBC article, the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences at Colorado State University is researching the effects of CBD on dogs through two clinical trials that consider the effects of the compound on canine seizures and canine arthritis.

How do I know if a CBD oil product is legitimate?

If you want to try CBD oil, be discerning when it comes to buying products. In 2017, 2016, and 2015, the FDA issued warning letters to a number of companies for claiming to sell products containing CBD oil. The FDA tested their products and found that they didn’t contain the amount of CBD they claimed to contain. “Many people looking to capitalize on the CBD market have started selling hemp seed oil and marketing it as CBD oil,” says Chasen. “Hemp seed oil and CBD oil are not the same thing.”
So, how can you make sure the CBD oil you buy is legitimate? “Acquire the product only from a trusted source that can provide you with a laboratory report that includes information on the product’s constituent elements,” says Hiller. Chasen and Hiller both say a manufacturer should be able to provide you with confirmation that the CBD oil is free from contaminants and pesticides.
“Research the company. Read reviews on their products.” Chasen says. “You want to make sure you are consuming clean, safe, potent medicine.” After all, if you’re putting something in your body, it’s worth doing some background research on it!
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Health x Body Wellbeing

Millions Of Women With This Condition Are Being Misdiagnosed: Here’s What To Know About Vulvodynia

Imagine putting your feet up in the stirrups of your OB-GYN’s office and saying “My vulva hurts.” Now imagine your doctor peeking back over that gown and saying, “Sorry, but I just can’t figure this one out.” Welcome to the world of vulvodynia.
Defined by the National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) as “chronic vulvar pain without an identifiable cause,” vulvodynia affects some 16 percent of women. And just as the definition indicates, it’s a condition that has left doctors stumped. The NVA estimates 60 percent of sufferers will see at least three different doctors before finally being diagnosed with vulvodynia.
“I have patients who actually start crying when they hear their condition has a name,” says Nancy Phillips, MD, associate professor at the Women’s Health Institute at the Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School.
Finally, they tell Phillips, they’re not being brushed off or treated like the pain in their vulva is all in their head. Finally, they know what’s going on!
When we go to the doctor’s office and say “This hurts,” we expect answers, not a run-around that sends us seeking a second, third, or even fourth opinion. And yet doctors like Philips, who specializes in vulvodynia, say it’s common for their patients to come to them after a long series of visits with other practitioners who couldn’t help them. So what’s going on?

What is vulvodynia, anyway?

Vulvodynia is defined by the National Institutes of Health as “chronic pain (lasting at least 3 months) of the vulva that does not have a clear cause, such as an infection or cancer.”
If you don’t remember health class or that handy Orange Is the New Black anatomy refresher the vulva is pretty extensive. The term covers the outer parts of the female reproductive system, including both the labia majora and labia minora, the clitoris, and the opening of the vagina (typically called the “vestibule” to differentiate it from the rest of the vagina).
That’s a whole lot of area to cover, so doctors break out types of vulvodynia based on where someone is feeling pain.
Localized vulvodynia is felt in just one spot. For the majority of sufferers, that’s the vestibule, Phillips says, but localized vulvodynia can occur anywhere in the vulvar region. The pain just has to stay in that one spot in order to fall under this classification.
Generalized vulvodynia, on the other hand, tends to be felt all over the vulvar region. It’s less common, but no less serious for sufferers.
Once doctors determine where the pain is, next comes another set of classifications. If you’ve got vulvodynia, doctors want to figure out if it’s “provoked,” or “unprovoked.” In other words, is there something that happens that sends pain signals to the brain, or are you in pain or discomfort all the time, without a trigger?
Provoked localized vulvodynia is the most common type, says Ryan Sobel, MD, clinical assistant professor and benign vulvovaginal disease specialist in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at the Sidney Kimmel Medical College at Thomas Jefferson University. When a sufferer tries to put in a tampon, ride a horse, have sex, or even wipe after urinating, touching the area of the vulva that’s affected will trigger the feelings of pain.
And those feelings can be intense.
When provoked, the pains can be sharp, Sobel says, and they make sex impossible for most patients. Other times, patients report burning or a raw, chafing feeling in their vulvar area.

Myth Buster

Like most chronic pain conditions, vulvodynia can’t be seen by the naked eye, and there’s no blood test that doctors can run, pulling out numbers that they can point to, confirming “Yup, you’ve got vulvodynia.”
In fact, when it comes to diagnosis, the bulk of what practitioners are doing is ruling out other conditions. They’ll look for yeast, for cancer, for STDS…for all common vulva-related conditions that could cause pain in the area. They’ll test the pH levels in the vagina, check for discharge, and run through a variety of tests.
Because its definition is pain that does not have a clear cause, diagnosis of an STD, an autoimmune condition, or any other disease will generally allow doctors to rule out vulvodynia, but even there things get tricky. Some patients can have what Sobel calls co-morbidities, which means two conditions that exist together. A patient may have a yeast infection, for example, that’s gone untreated for a lengthy period of time. Once the infection is finally treated, inflammation and pain may remain, pointing to vulvodynia.
Not surprisingly, diagnosis is tricky according to Phillips, who says vulvodynia  makes for a lot of confusion in the medical community.
“It is very often misdiagnosed,” Sobel adds, “because we don’t understand it well.”
In fact, many practitioners are unfamiliar with vulvodynia. Others are dismissive of patients’ complaints. Because the pain can’t be seen, the symptoms are dismissed as psychosomatic, as is the case with many other pain conditions.
Even the experts struggle to pinpoint the best course of treatment because the very definition of vulvodynia entails that the pain doesn’t have a cause, which leaves doctors debating about the best course of action.

Just make it go away.

Despite the confusion, experts in the field do have options for those suffering from vulvodynia. The condition can be treated, and the best approach depends on what is going on down there for the patient.
As part of the testing phase, doctors will look at hormonal imbalances, Phillips says. Sometimes correcting those issues with treatments—testosterone treatment, specifically—may relieve vulvodynia as the vulva responds to testosterone.
For some sufferers, neuro-modulating agents are pulled into the mix, Phillips says. Medicines such as Cymbalta or Lyrica—typically used to treat other chronic pain conditions—can work for some vulvodynia sufferers too. These medicines affect the nerves that are sending pain signals to the brain, quieting the messages so patients can go the bathroom or have sex without screaming pain.
Other patients may benefit from physical therapy, where they can learn pelvic floor exercises that will help relax tight muscles in the vulva. For some sufferers, Phillips says, muscles in the vestibule can become tight, causing pain when touched, and a combination of exercises and trigger point massage can loosen those muscles.
For vulvodynia patients who don’t see success with these less invasive treatments, Sobel says acupuncture or even surgery may be an option. A “vestibulectomy” can be done on patients with localized vulvodynia, literally removing the area where the patient feels pain. Success rates after these operations vary from 50 to 90 percent of patients experiencing noticeable reductions in pain.
Like the pain itself, success in treating vulvodynia varies from patient to patient. Some may never be pain-free, but Phillips says even a 70 percent reduction in pain can be the key to significantly improving quality of life.
Phillips says, “When it comes to a cure, you have to ask, Is a cure pain free or is it functional?” The good news for women suffering with vulvodynia? “Most people can get to functional.”

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In the Kitchen Nosh

Handling Food Waste Like A Pro: How To Get Creative With Food Scraps In The Kitchen

Food waste is a major issue in the United States. In fact, recent data collected by the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) estimates that between 30 and 40 percent of all food ends up in municipal landfills. Not only could food that winds up wasted be used to feed families who are in need of nutritious food, but the process of decomposition results in the buildup and release of methane gas that makes American landfills the third largest source of methane gas emissions in the country.
Although the stats appear dire, the USDA has developed an initiative called the U.S. Food Waste Challenge, a program that encourages food processors and distributors, grocery stores, industry groups, NGOs, and government bodies to improve their food management systems in order to lower the amount of food waste in our landfills. On an individual basis, the Environmental Protection Agency has released a set of very helpful guidelines to help the public reduce food waste at home that includes a guide to composting, ways to support your community food bank, and meal-planning tips.

Food Scrap Inspiration From the Professional Kitchen

Restaurant kitchens are great examples of how food scraps can be used to their full potential. Tim Harris has been a professional chef for 20 years, working in restaurants and as a private chef, and throughout his training and career he’s learned all about the importance of using food scraps in the kitchen.
“In the best professional kitchens there are very little food scraps,” he says. “Leaving meat on the bone during any butchery is an indicator of your inability. …Vegetable stems and trimmings like asparagus and broccoli are puréed into soup or maybe dried as garnish. It’s about squeezing every cent out of every ingredient.”
Harris even had the opportunity to work under Jacques Pepin, who he says would “wipe that little extra bit of egg white out of each half of the egg shell with his finger tip” because “every dozen eggs has an extra egg white stuck in the shell.”

General Tips for Preventing Food Waste

There are many ways to reduce the amount of food waste in your kitchen. Harris says his number one tip is to “shop more often to reduce spoilage. Plan to use things before you buy them and they won’t end up as science experiments in the back of the fridge.”
It’s also important to learn the difference between “sell by,” “expiry,” and “best before” dates as confusion surrounding these terms can lead to perfectly good food being thrown out before it has actually spoiled. According to the USDA’s “Food Product Dating” resource

  • A “Best if Used By/Before” indicates when a product will be of best flavor or quality. It is not a purchase or safety date.
  • A “Sell-By” date tells the store how long to display the product for sale for inventory management. It is not a safety date.
  • A “Use-By” date is the last date recommended for the use of the product while at peak quality. It is not a safety date except in certain uses on infant formula packaging.

You can learn more about what these terms mean—and how to distinguish actual expiration dates for various products here.
Keeping a whiteboard or notepad by the refrigerator and keeping stock of items as they run out will also help prevent over-shopping and doubling up on items you already have.

Get involved with composting.

It’s easy to set up a bin for composting food scraps and yard waste, especially if you have access to a backyard. Check with your local municipality to see if they have set up composting programs for apartment buildings and condominiums. City-wide composting programs are a growing initiative across the country and help to cut down on food waste in landfills.
If you’re worried about the smell from storing compostable goods on your kitchen counter, there are many indoor compost pails that are made to prevent the emission of strong odors. Another option is to freeze compost until you’re ready to dispose of it.

Get souper creative with food scraps.

Next time you’re faced with a crisper full of vegetable odds and ends or leftover cooked vegetables, add them to a kitchen sink–style veggie soup. Those last remaining bits of meat on a rotisserie chicken or steak attached to the bone will add depth to any soup, so throw in the whole thing (bones and all) and remove the bones before serving for an extra-savory flavor.
Salad leaves (with or without dressing) can also be used to make a quick yet deliciously light soup. Just blend together the salad greens with vegetable stock, Greek yogurt, or crème fraiche, and salt and pepper to taste. For best results, make your stock or broth from scratch using food scraps.

Making Homemade Stock or Broth From Leftovers

According to Harris, one of his favorite culinary experiences was with a Thai chef who had worked in embassies almost her entire career and would often eat the leftover food from functions and galas. “She once took the skin of a salmon I butchered and along with a couple limes, fish sauce, coriander, and chilies made a broth that blew my mind,” he says.
Homemade stocks and broths are an ideal way to use up food scraps in the kitchen. Not only can you use fresh scraps, but you can freeze stems and peels as you cook for use in future stocks or broths.
Harris offers many suggestions for ingredients that should be saved for this purpose:

Any gristle, silver skin, or cartilage is used to enrich a sauce of stock before being discarded. Trimmings of carrot, onion, celery, leek, garlic, fennel, tomatoes, et cetera are all saved for stock and every bone removed ends up in there too.

If you use Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, save the rinds in your freezer for stocks, risottos, and pasta sauces (just make to remove the rind before eating). Some ingredients are too strongly flavored to include in a stock or broth recipe, though, so beware of using the flesh of starchier squash, bok choy (in large amounts), cabbage, broccoli, collard greens, kohlrabi, spicy chili peppers, radishes, fresh rosemary, and turnips.

Categories
Mindful Parenting Motherhood

What To Do (And What To Avoid) When Baby Gets Sick

It’s inevitable. Friday night, when all the doctors’ offices have closed, baby starts coughing. That little forehead feels like your cheeks after you’ve run a marathon. Those little eyes are staring at you in utter confusion, wondering why Mommy can’t just make all the misery go away.
Of course, babies get sick every day of the week, but it always seems to happen when we’re headed into a winter weekend as cold and flu season rears its ugly head.
So, do you really need to run your baby to the emergency room, or is it OK to wait it out until Monday? We talked to the experts so you can put your mind at ease.

Fighting That Fever

You learned back in grade school that the average human’s body temperature sits at a cool 98.6. When baby’s temperature starts to climb above that, you need to be wary, but what you do next comes down to baby’s age, says Lavanya G. Shankar, MD, chair of pediatrics at Northwestern Medicine Central DuPage Hospital in Winfield, Illinois.
“Eight weeks and under, when they have a fever, whether they have other symptoms or not, an immediate call to the pediatrician is a good idea,” Shankar says. If you don’t hear back, don’t wait. Get in the car and drive to the closest ER or urgent care.
That fever, she notes, doesn’t mean 98.7 degrees. From a medical standpoint, doctors worry when the temperature hits 100.4 degrees in babies, and that temperature should be taken rectally (aka by sticking a thermometer in baby’s hiney).
“That’s the most accurate for babies 12 months and under,” Shankar explains.
That’s because babies that young won’t be able to keep a thermometer under their tongue the way older kids might, and there’s too much margin of error with ear and forehead thermometers.
If that rectal test shows a baby between 3 and 6 months has a fever, Shankar still recommends a call to the pediatrician, whether there are other symptoms present or not. “But you don’t need to rush anywhere,” she notes.
The urgency changes if your little one is showing other symptoms of illness, such as extreme fatigue or listlessness, glassy eyes, refusal to nurse or take a bottle, or excessive vomiting. If any (or many) of those symptoms are present, it’s time to take that trip to the ER.  
Infant Tylenol and infant Motrin can help baby fight a fever, and many pediatricians suggest switching between them throughout the day for babies older than 3 months, Shankar says. Your baby’s doctor can help you determine the right dosages and whether or not acetaminophen is appropriate.
One thing not to do? Don’t buy into old wives tales about starving a fever, Shankar warns. It’s important for babies to continue to eat a normal diet. If they’re not eating, it’s a sign you need to seek medical care.

Cutting Through Congestion

When cold and flu season hits, so does congestion, and baby’s little sinuses can take a wicked hit.
Typically the cause is a virus, says Benjamin Bring, DO, a primary care physician at OhioHealth Primary Care Physicians in Dublin, Ohio. Rhinovirus, also known as the common cold, is usually responsible as baby’s immune system isn’t equipped to fight off the disease that hits some 18 million Americans every year. But babies are also particularly susceptible to coronavirus, parainfluenza virus, adenovirus, and respiratory syncytial virus (RSV).
These viruses will cause baby to cough and sneeze, and make their little noses run thanks to increased mucus production (which stuffs them up). But because they’re viral, Bring says antibiotics are generally off the table. They won’t help—and in some cases they’ll actually make things worse.
“Babies and infants should be treated with conservative measures and rarely with medications,” Bring notes.
In other words? It’s not just okay to go old school when it comes to baby’s congestion—the methods used by our grandmas are often the best, and in many cases, they’re doctor approved.
“Some good treatments include cool mist humidifiers to help break up mucous secretions and a bulb syringe to help remove the mucus,” Bring says. “Saline nose drops can help in some circumstances as well. Often parents will use the steam from a shower in a bathroom if [they don’t have] access to a humidifier to help their baby breathe better [despite] a respiratory infection.”
Congestion itself isn’t cause for immediate concern, but if baby’s struggling to breathe, has a cough that sounds like a seal barking, or their skin turns a blue or dusky color, it’s time to make a run to the urgent care or emergency room, Bring says.
“This can indicate that the baby isn’t getting enough oxygen due to inflammation of the airways from the infection,” Bring explains. “Typically oxygen levels can be measured at an urgent care or ER through use of a pulse oximeter.”
If the congestion is accompanied by fever and other signs of illness (lethargy, glassy eyes, refusal to eat, etc.), you’ll want to make that hospital run.

Stock the medicine cabinet.

The baby section of your local pharmacy has almost as many choices as the adult areas, but be wary. There are plenty of items on the shelves that doctors warn against.
“There are very few over-the-counter medications [that] are recommended for young children and almost all of the cough [and] congestion medications should not be administered to children under age 4,” Bring warns.
The American Academy of Pediatrics warns parents against OTC cough and cold medicines, and pediatricians have come out against the use of Vicks Vapo Rub on kids under age 2. Even “natural” remedies such as echinacea, vitamin C, and zinc get the side-eye from the experts.
Instead, stock up on ibuprofen and acetaminophen (e.g. baby Tylenol and baby Motrin), which your pediatrician can suggest dosing out based on baby’s age and weight. In addition to bottles of each, grab bulb syringes for your medicine cabinet (and your diaper bag!), as well as saline nasal drops.
If you can, run cool mist humidifiers in your home to keep the whole family’s sinuses moist and comfortable.

An ounce of prevention…

Avoiding illness is every mom’s goal, but let’s face it: The world is full of germs, and babies are still building their immune systems. While adults tend to get two to four colds a year, kids can get five to 10.
The best ways to ward off serious illness? Good old-fashioned hygiene!
“Parents, caregivers, and anyone around the baby should be vigilant about handwashing, especially during the winter months,” Bring says.
If your baby is 6 months or older, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends a flu vaccination to help protect them from the flu.
“Getting a flu shot does not give you the flu,” Bring notes. “The immunization gives your child’s immune system a chance to create an immune response to a dead virus prior to being infected. This gives young children a head start for their immune system to start working on fighting the flu in case they do get infected with the virus later in the season.”
If illness does hit, be proactive. Take their temperature. Watch for the signs. Call your doctor. Trust that mom’s intuition. It can make all the difference.

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

What I Wish The World Knew About Fighting Cancer

Cancer. Just the word can strike fear into our hearts. It’s no wonder: Each year about 1.6 million new cases of cancer are diagnosed in the United States, and close to 600,000 people die of the disease. Nearly 40 percent of Americans will have cancer at some point in their lives.
However, there is good news. In the United States, cancer deaths fell by 13 percent between 2004 and 2013. That’s in part because treatment has advanced. It’s also because more people are catching cancer early, while it is still more treatable. Educating yourself on early cancer detection could save your life.
These advances mean that more people than ever are living with cancer for years or even decades.
We talked to seven cancer warriors and asked them one important question: What do you wish the world knew about fighting cancer? Here’s what they had to say.

Act normal, please

Amber Fallon, 34, is a horror author, podcaster, and lover of dogs. Just before she turned 30, she was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer. When her thyroid was removed, doctors told her the cancer has spread to the surrounding tissue. Here’s what she wants others to know:

We won’t break. Hug us. Talk to us. Don’t treat us differently because we’re fighting cancer. Normalcy can be the best gift sometimes.

[pullquote align=”center”]“Even though having cancer asks you to be strong and to live more boldly than ever before, we all benefit from our loved ones being able to recognize how vulnerable we feel.”
—Stephanie McLeod-Estevez[/pullquote]

We can’t always be strong.

Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, 43, was diagnosed three years ago with stage 3a breast cancer. Her children were 5 and 7 at the time, and the diagnosis was especially scary since her own mother had died from cancer when McLeod-Estevez was 26. That loss had an impact on McLeod-Estevez’s decision to become an art therapist specializing in working with cancer patients.

The one thing I wish the world knew about fighting cancer is that it impacts your body, mind, spirit and sense of self: It is not just a medical problem. Cancer survivors often feel lost, confused, and traumatized by the process of being diagnosed and treated. Even though having cancer asks you to be strong and to live more boldly than ever before, we all benefit from our loved ones being able to recognize how vulnerable we feel. Healing emotionally from cancer is possible; however, it takes time, attention, support, and processing of what we went through in order to feel like we are whole again.

There’s a lot that goes into wellness.

Kelly Gallagher, who describes herself as “ageless,” was first diagnosed with cancer in her twenties and has survived the disease five times. Now she produces health documentaries that focus on a holistic approach to wellness.

I honestly wish the world knew about all of the natural remedies available. I want people to understand that their food and environment impact their immune system. And that dental issues and emotional components are issues that need to be addressed if we want to regain optimal wellness.

I’m still me.

Courtney Parizo, 39, has battled chronic health issues for all of her adult life. But when she was diagnosed with cancer last year, she was shocked at how differently she was treated.

I wish I’d known the stigma that seems to be attached to people hearing that you have cancer and the way people seemed to immediately treat me differently, like I was suddenly made of glass where I had been concrete before.
I wish I could have worn a sign or handed out instructions to people that said, “Yes, I have cancer. No, it doesn’t mean I’m going to die or that I suddenly need to be sheltered or not told about the problems my friends and family are having. I don’t need to stay in bed all day, can still do most things I did before, but yes, I am often tired and worn down. I don’t need your sympathy, your platitudes, but I could probably use your help!”

[pullquote align=”center”]“I do not wish cancer on anyone, however I wish the world could understand how hard we fight to maintain a “normal” life despite living with cancer. Maybe the world at large would stop and realize the insignificance of petty things and maybe we as a society would be more humble and kind.”
—Fabianna Marie[/pullquote]

Fighting for your life is hard.

Fabianna Marie, 40, was diagnosed at 27 with metastatic (incurable) breast cancer. She has become a national speaker and advocate for cancer patients.

The one thing I wish the world knew about fighting cancer is that it is a full-time job that involves not only body but mind and spirit as well. I have devoted nearly 13 years to fighting, all while continuing to learn and grow as an advocate, mother, and wife. I have fought for my rights as a cancer patient, to have my voice heard by my doctors, and to have my choices for my body be acknowledged. I have learned that cancer does not define me as a person. Cancer has made me stronger spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I do not wish cancer on anyone, however I wish the world could understand how hard we fight to maintain a “normal” life despite living with cancer. Maybe the world at large would stop and realize the insignificance of petty things and maybe we as a society would be more humble and kind.

It leaves a lasting mark.

Lindsey, 36, was first diagnosed with leukemia when she was 10. She underwent three years of treatment at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where she now works in fundraising and awareness. She is now cancer free and participates in studies about the long-term effects of treatment for childhood cancer.

The one thing I wish the world knew about fighting cancer is that long after the treatment ends, the impact of cancer remains. Even though much of the physical effects of the illness and treatment may heal, there is a lasting mark that is left behind. Most often, these traces of my cancer journey are not visible at first glance. However, my cancer has changed the way I engage with the world and those around me.
While I refuse to allow my cancer to define me, it does deeply impact the way I experience life. I hold a little tighter, I laugh a little louder, and I take time to pause…to take a breath and find the beauty and wonder in that moment. Yes, the hectic schedules and the infinite pile of laundry and homework are all still there. However, I cherish that fact that I am able to experience all of life, with its joy and sorrow, with my children, with the love of my life (and fellow St. Jude survivor), and with my family and friends. This celebration of life is what called me to return to the hospital that saved me. As a survivor, it is my privilege to pass this gift along so that other children have the same opportunity to grow, to love, and to live.

[pullquote align=”center”]“I found out while sick the second time that of all the government money that goes into cancer research, childhood cancer receives less than 4 percent. I quickly realized that I was not only battling for my health, but battling for my worth. While I was lucky enough to go on to live a healthy life, many of my fellow ‘head shavers’ were not—and I can’t help but believe they are worth more than 4 percent.”
—Devin Duncan[/pullquote]

Kids get cancer too.

Devin Duncan, 25, was diagnosed with leukemia twice—once at 3 years old and once at age 17. She now lives in New York City and works in public relations. She hopes to raise awareness about childhood cancers.

The one thing I really wish the world knew about cancer is simple: Kids get cancer too. I’ve noticed through years of talking to people about my illness that nobody wants to talk about sick kids—it’s sad, it’s negative, and it’s downright scary. But it’s real.
I found out while sick the second time that of all the government money that goes into cancer research, childhood cancer receives less than 4 percent. I quickly realized that I was not only battling for my health, but battling for my worth. While I was lucky enough to go on to live a healthy life, many of my fellow “head shavers” were not—and I can’t help but believe they are worth more than 4 percent.

Categories
Health x Body Wellbeing

“I Had Cancer In My Twenties”—Here’s What It’s Like

There’s no good way to find out you have cancer. With her toddler in her arms and her infant daughter in a car seat on the floor of the doctor’s office, Kara Passante started to yell at her husband to please just get their daughter out of the room so she didn’t have to hear that her 29-year-old mom had breast cancer.
“I was in shock. I was terrified and furious. I was in a state of confusion that can’t really be explained. Everything I thought was normal was flipped upside down,” the co-founder of cancer charity Ride 2 Survive recalls. “It felt like a movie where everything suddenly goes in slow motion.”
There’s no good time to be diagnosed with cancer. Passante doesn’t wish it on anyone of any age. At 29, with a fairly new marriage, two small babies, and so many dreams yet to be fulfilled, she says it felt like being robbed of her future.

The Faces of Young Adult Cancer

Cancer in young adults is rare in America, where the median age of cancer diagnosis is 66. Annually, a quarter of the Americans diagnosed with cancer are already of retirement age.
And yet, rare does not mean non-existent. Rare does not mean women in their twenties are guaranteed a cancer-free decade. In fact, an estimated 2.7 percent of new cancer diagnoses made this year will be in people ages 20 to 34.
[pullquote align=”center”]“I was terrified and furious. I was in a state of confusion that can’t really be explained.”
—Kara Passante, Co-Founder of Ride 2 Survive[/pullquote]
The medical community calls them AYAs, adolescents and young adults. They’re people like Passante. People like Allyson Strong, who was a 24-year-old graduate student when doctors diagnosed her with small cell cervical cancer. People like Erin Mast, who spent the first few months of her twenties applying a cream to her vagina that would burn through the cancer cells on her vaginal walls—a cream that killed the cancer but left her unable to walk without extreme pain.
The cream was still in a clinical trial phase, and the side effects were excruciating, Mast says, but it was her only hope of having kids. At 19, when she was diagnosed, her doctors told her she could undergo radiation and chemotherapy to kill the cancer in her vagina, but it would almost definitely render her infertile. She opted for the cream instead.

Decision Making in the Face of a Cancer Diagnosis (as a 20-something Woman)

While older women are typically past their childbearing years, a cancer diagnosis for a woman in her twenties often means suddenly having to face egg retrieval and egg freezing (which can be costly and is rarely covered by insurance), or giving up the possibility of ever having children and grieving that loss.
“I was considered ‘lucky’ to have already had children,” Passante recalls. “I was told cancer treatment would destroy my ability to have any more. So what if I wasn’t so ‘lucky’? Chemotherapy wrecks havoc on the reproductive system of both women and men. These young people are potentially being stripped of their ability to produce children. That’s a huge, terrifying concern when you’re young.”
Fertility is just one of the issues that sets cancer in a person’s young adult years apart from cancer during any other life stage, says Barbara Strong, CEO of the Allyson Whitney Foundation, a national non-profit that provides grants to young adults battling cancer.
[pullquote align=”center”]“These young people are potentially being stripped of their ability to produce children. That’s a huge, terrifying concern when you’re young.”
—Kara Passante, Co-Founder of Ride 2 Survive[/pullquote]
Strong is Allyson Whitney’s mom. She lost her daughter in 2011, just 14 months after her diagnosis. She knows, as a parent and advocate, what it’s like for a woman in her twenties to have her future ripped out from under her.
“Emotionally, you’re isolated,” Strong says. “You’re going to these places where you’re not going to see [familiar] faces in the lobby, in the waiting room.”
Other cancer patients are typically much older. People your age are in college. They’re having bridal showers and welcoming babies. You’re getting a port implanted in your chest for chemotherapy. You’re shaving your head so your hair doesn’t fall out in clumps.
Even your friends don’t know what to do, Barbara says. “You come back [home], and your friends have never experienced having a friend with cancer. They don’t know how to talk to you,” she says.
For many young people, a cancer diagnosis comes at a time when they’re just beginning to establish themselves in a career. Sick days are few and health insurance limited.
[pullquote align=”center”]People your age are in college. They’re having bridal showers and welcoming babies. You’re getting a port implanted in your chest for chemotherapy.[/pullquote]
If they’re lucky, Strong says, they can move home to live with their parents, but their parents are still typically young enough to be in the workforce. The parents of AYAs with cancer often find themselves turning their own lives upside down, taking time away from work to care for their adult children.
“It’s your child,” Strong says. “You’re stopping life to get this done.”
The rates of survival for AYAs vary depending on the type of cancer they face. AYA survival tends to be worst for those with female breast cancer (regardless of estrogen receptor status), acute lymphoid leukemia (ALL), and acute myeloid leukemia (AML). When compared to survival rates for younger and older people with the same diagnoses, AYA rates in these cases are the worst.
In part, misdiagnosis is to blame. When a woman in her twenties walks into a doctor’s office complaining of pain, cancer is not the first thing doctors think of. Mast was diagnosed first with pelvic inflammatory disorder, then a spastic colon. Neither diagnosis was accurate. Ultimately, it was her family physician who trusted Mast’s gut and referred her to multiple specialists who eventually diagnosed her correctly.
[pullquote align=”center”]“It’s your child. You’re stopping life to get this done.”
—Barbara Strong, CEO of the Allyson Whitney Foundation[/pullquote]
In Passante’s case, it was her own advocacy.
“In your twenties, mammograms aren’t even a thought,” she says. “It’s never okay to be given a cancer diagnosis, but in your fifties and sixties there are known risk increases, so prevention is more diligent. In your twenties, you are going in blind, and by the time it’s determined cancer, it’s often progressed to an advanced stage because there was no prevention at all.”

A Message for Women

With World Cancer Day taking place on Feb. 4, Passante, Mast, and Strong have a message for women: Trust your body. Be your own advocate. If you feel something, say something.
The American Cancer Society lists these signs of cancer that are most likely to occur in the AYA stage:

  • An unusual lump or swelling in the neck, breast, belly, testicle, or elsewhere
  • Unexplained tiredness and loss of energy
  • Easy bruising
  • Abnormal bleeding
  • Ongoing pain in one part of the body
  • Unexplained fever or illness that doesn’t go away
  • Frequent headaches, often with vomiting
  • Sudden eye or vision changes
  • Loss of appetite or unplanned weight loss
  • A new mole or other spot on the skin, or one that changes in size, shape, or color

If you or a loved one receives a cancer diagnosis, Passante offers this advice: “One day at a time. Break it all down. When you’re in your twenties and you hear cancer, chemo, medi port, surgery, radiation, hormones, drugs, reconstruction, etc., it is beyond overwhelming. Everything in your life suddenly becomes about what doctor you have to see next, what procedure is next, what’s next, what’s next. Break it down. One day at a time. Don’t obsess over the whole picture: It’s too much. One day at a time. Little victories.”   
If you’re facing a cancer diagnosis in your twenties and need somewhere to turn, the Allyson Whitney Foundation’s Life Interrupted grant applications are processed twice a year. If you’ve battled cancer and come out the other side, The Samfund offers financial assistance and other forms of support to help you get back on your feet.

Categories
Life x Culture Lifestyle

How To Be A Bridesmaid On A Realistic Budget

Your dear friend just got engaged, and she breathlessly asks you to be one of her bridesmaids. You’re honored. After all, being a bridesmaid signifies how much your friend loves and appreciates you, and how she trusts you to be a part of her big day.
But before you start brainstorming ideas for bridal showers and bachelorette parties, you should consider something much less romantic: your budget.
Being a bridesmaid costs, on average, more than $1,000. If you have a friend who will be walking down the aisle soon, that’s a scary sum. Although we all want to be there for our friends, paying for dresses, hair, makeup, a bridal shower, and other wedding activities can take a real toll on your budget.
In order to keep your bridesmaid duties from becoming a financial burden (or worse, a strain on your friendship), it’s important to talk about financial realities and budgeting constraints before you commit to being in the wedding party.
“While there are certainly … factors to consider that override money, this should definitely be a part of the discussion,” says Marsha Barnes, a financial social worker and founder of The Finance Bar, which provides financial education to people in and around Charlotte, North Carolina. “It’s also important to note that over 50 percent of Americans don’t have $500 in a savings account; therefore, it’s never safe to assume that others are in a position of affordability to participate.”
It’s always hard to talk openly about finances in an emotional situation, and you probably don’t want to let your friend down. However, talking about your budget can make the entire wedding process easier for you, the bride, and your fellow bridesmaids.
Here are some tips for being a bridesmaid on a realistic budget:

Have the hard conversation.

Barnes recommends talking about the financial implications of being a bridesmaid right off the bat. For example, if your friend wants a black-tie wedding and a full-weekend bachelorette party, you can bet that being a bridesmaid is going to get expensive. If you are concerned about being able to cover basics costs—like the dress, travel to the wedding, and contributions to the shower—discuss that with the bride right away.
“In no way should bridesmaids feel uncomfortable with addressing this,” Barnes says. “While a wedding is a one-day event to celebrate and honor someone that you love, it is equally important to remember any personal financial commitments that will continue afterwards.”

Take an honest inventory of your own financial situation.

Before you commit to being part of the wedding party, honestly ask yourself whether you can afford the added costs. Weigh your current financial situation and how soon the wedding is. If it’s further off, that gives you more time to save—if not, it may cause undue stress and strain.
“I believe it’s safe to say that for people we love, it’s natural to have the desire of participating in their special moments,” Barnes says. However, that can negatively impact your financial future. “As with many holidays or birthdays that excite us, we always have to look at our finances from a realistic view.”
Barnes recommends asking yourself whether you have disposable income, or whether you’re willing to cut back on non-essential expenses to budget for being in the wedding.
“What are you willing to give up personally in exchange [for] being available personally and financially to participate?” she asks. “Maybe this is an opportunity to shave off some of your non-essential expenses for six months to a year, which will increase your chances of being able to take care of costs associated with your bridesmaid responsibilities.”

Don’t be afraid to DIY.

If you’re trying to keep costs under control, considering doing your own hair, makeup, and nails. For added cost savings, don’t stop there, says Kim M., 27, who has been a bridesmaid six times and a maid of honor twice.
“Have a family member or bridesmaid host the bridal shower, and ask the bridesmaids each to bring a dish,” she says. “Make favors instead of ordering them—bridal-themed cookies are always a hit, as are little craft bags filled with candy.”

Plan ahead.

A little planning can go a long way when you’re trying to stay on a budget. Kim recommends putting money aside for wedding-related expenses each week, even if it’s only $10. Shop for dresses early to avoid rush fees, and triple-check your measurements to avoid costly alterations.
If you do need to have your dress fitted, consider going outside the bridal boutique.
“I’ve heard of friends spending $100 or more to get a dress altered when my local cleaner is a wizard with even the most complicated dresses, and it has never cost me more than $30,” she says.

Set limits.

Everyone wants their friend’s wedding to be unforgettable, but it’s perfectly ok to sprinkle in a dose of reality, especially if the entire bridal party is on the same page.
“I have told a bride before, ‘We can’t have a destination bachelorette party.’ It was out of everyone’s budget,” says Sara B., 30, who has been in three weddings recently. “Luckily for us, she was understanding.”
Open communication will help protect your pocketbook and your relationships.
“Remember that the wedding is such an important day for the bride,” Barnes says. “However, there are necessary moments when we must stop to evaluate our own personal circumstances to determine if we are able to participate or accept all invites as a bridesmaid. Be forthcoming and transparent regarding how you are able to contribute so that post-wedding emotions or bitterness do not inflate for months or years to come.”

Categories
Mindful Parenting Motherhood

Beyond Baby Talk: How To Help Babies And Toddlers Learn Through Speech

You can’t help it. You stare into your baby’s eyes and you let out a sentence full of words that you’ve never said before, in a voice that doesn’t sound quite like yours.
Welcome to parenthood, the land where babbling isn’t just OK—it’s part of helping our babies develop the speech they’ll eventually need to tell us how much they love us (hey, that’s the plan, right?).
How parents talk to their kids, and the “right” way to teach children their mother language has been studied and debated by scientists for decades. Should you be pulling out board books when you’re still just a day or two postpartum and reading to your newborn? Do you really need to buy those fancy flashcards they advertise on all the baby sites? And what’s the deal with baby talk anyway?
Slow down. You’re talking too fast! Here’s what the experts have to say about it all!

Baby Talk

What we say to our kids matters. They need to hear “I love you” for their emotional development. They need to hear a variety of words for their speech development. And Mother Nature’s got our back.
Parents are hardwired to adjust their speech patterns when babies arrive, especially moms, who tend to switch to what’s called “infant-directed speech” without even thinking about it, says Greg Bryant, PhD, associate professor and vice chair of the Department of Communications at UCLA.
Unlike baby talk—which is essentially using nonsense words and diminutives when talking to your baby (think phrases like cutsie wootsie instead of cute)—infant-directed speech describes a change in speech patterns.
The voice generally goes up an octave (or two), and we tend to elongate our vowels, enunciating words so they’re sounded out rather than mushed together in the speedy way we tend to speak to other adults. Think about how you try to teach a baby to say mama. Instead of a quick mama, we tend to say maaa-maaa. That’s a classic example of infant-directed speech.
“Early on, kids need to learn the sounds of the language they’re going to speak,” Bryant explains. “They more clearly they hear it, the easier it is to learn.”
But while it’s an important part of being a parent, Bryant is quick to tell parents not to get stressed out by the headlines that implore them to read to kids from infancy in order to boost their vocabulary and literacy skills, or warnings that kids as young as 18 months can experience a “word gap,” lagging behind their peers with larger vocabularies.
“[Reading] helps to make them literate,” he says. But language development is minimal when they’re sleeping through the book and not engaged with the story, he says. It’s OK to hold off until they’re able to at least see the pictures on the pages!
Pediatric speech language pathologist Jenny Cardinal of Riley Children’s Health in Indianapolis says much of language development for babies and toddlers happens more organically.
“Children learn language through the vocabulary and language modeled to them through their everyday interactions and natural environment activities such as eating snacks and bath time,” she notes.
Although every baby is different and will develop at their own pace, parents can generally expect the following in the baby stage:

Birth to About 3 Months

Baby will make cooing or vowel sounds and have cries that mean different things, for example, “Change my diaper” or “I’m hungry.”

4 to 6 Months

Baby will likely be cooing and making speech-like babbling sounds such as ba, pa, and mi.

7 to 12 Months

Babies will babble longer strings of sounds such as mimi, up-up, and baba. It is also around this age that they will imitate different speech sounds and say one to two true words—such as hi, dog, dada, mama, or uh-oh—around their first birthday.

Walking but Not (Necessarily) Talking

Although many babies can say “real” words before they hit age 1, every child will progress at different rates, and the words they use may not make a whole lot of sense to anyone other than their parents and caregivers.  
“Children typically have one to two true words by between 12 and 15 months of age,” Cardinal says. “These words may not sound exactly as an adult would say them (e.g., da for dog), but the word is used consistently to mean a specific thing.”
Cardinal suggests engaging in play and talking about what is happening using a variety of words, not just labeling with nouns.
“Model action words and adjectives, too, to help your child expand their vocabulary,” she says. “When playing, get at eye level with your child so they can see your mouth modeling words for them. Take turns with them so that they understand how conversations work.”
Cardinal encourages parents to make investments of their time. “The more practice with talking your child gets, the better they become! It is always helpful to read books together so that they hear a variety of vocabulary words and can use the pictures to help them understand.”
In their second year of life (the 12 months between their first and second birthdays), kids tend to start making the m, p, b, h, and w sounds. Typically they pick up a variety of new words, although they’re still not stringing together sentences.
Between 2 and 3, Cardinal says children typically use the t, d, n, k, g and f sounds within words. More complex speech sounds such as l, s, r, v, z, j, ch, sh, and th continue to develop through the age of 7.

You’ve got a talker!

Infant-directed speech should continue through about age 4 or 5 Bryant says, but it naturally lessens as kids get older and more adept at language. Think about it—when was the last time you encouraged a school-aged child to say Maaa-maaaa?
To keep language development going, reading to and with kids is important, as is challenging them to use the words they see and hear every day. That can simply mean using “big” words in your vocabulary or asking them to describe things they see, fishing for adjectives that stretch their imagination.
As Cardinal says, it’s in those rides in the car or dinner table conversations that “they not only hear and learn to produce speech sounds modeled to them, but also learn how to put words together to make phrases and sentences using a variety of words including pronouns, nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, etc.”
Her final piece of advice?
“Talk at a level your child understands and model grammatical phrases and sentences.”

Categories
In Season Lifestyle

How To Maintain Your Peace Of Mind While Traveling For The Holidays

The Christmas our daughter was barely 5 months old, my husband and I boarded a plane with her from Austria, where we were living, to Southern California—a behemoth of a trip, more than 30 hours door to door. (This doesn’t include the nine-hour time difference.)
Our families were dying to meet the baby, and we figured: She’s small! It’ll be easy! And it’s so lovely in Orange County! Goodbye, dreary Viennese winter.
The minute we got to the airport and saw the lines stretched out to eternity, I broke down sobbing. I was out of my mind with sleep deprivation, and breastfeeding was still touch and go. How on earth would we survive? Had I brought enough formula, changes of clothes, burp cloths, diapers? Had I forgotten Sophie the Giraffe? (Had I even packed my own passport?) I literally turned to my husband and said, “Forget it.”
We went anyway: flew 11 hours to Chicago (the baby slept for an hour and didn’t even fit in the bassinet), endured a four-hour delay at O’Hare due to a storm, and got zero assistance from airline workers, who lectured us on why travelers with kids didn’t get to pre-board (“Studies show that the plane doesn’t fill up any quicker.”)
By the time I got to change my daughter’s diaper—many arguments and terminals later—she had soaked through all her clothes into the Ergo carrier. The image of her pinned to my husband’s chest in the Ergo, wild-eyed with exhaustion while we waited on a delayed flight, will haunt me forever.
By the time we got to SoCal, I was a wreck, as was our daughter, who did nothing but scream from 1 to 4 a.m. We never made that trip again.

Holidays really are the worst time to travel.

According to AAA, Thanksgiving travel in 2017 was the busiest it has been in more than 12 years, with 51 million people on the roads, train, and in the air—an uptick of over 1 million people from last year.
Holiday travel is notoriously awful for everyone, but it creates a particular kind of hell for parents and pregnant women. Gone are the days of settling in with a tiny bottle of wine, People magazine, and a Julia Roberts movie.
For pregnant women, there is often the issue of intense morning sickness, the constant need to pee, uncomfortable seats, awful smells, and strangers reaching for your bump. And for parents? Between air and car sickness, sufficient changes of clothing, enough activities to keep kids occupied, foiled naps, ear popping, kids who won’t sit still or stop whining or wailing, time changes, and unpredictable schedules, it is a recipe for disaster.
So what can you do to keep your cool?

Plan, Plan, Plan: The Basics

Choose your travel time wisely.

Pick a travel time that will be least disruptive to the kids’ schedules. If you’re flying, try not to take off around, say, dinnertime, or in the middle of the toddler’s nap. If it’s a long-haul flight and you think your kid might sleep, choose an overnight and prep them in advance: “Tonight you get to sleep on an airplane!”
If not, make sure they’re well rested before you get on the plane. (So leaving on a 6 a.m. flight that requires you be at the airport at 4:30 a.m.? Not a great plan.) If you’re driving, consider leaving right before a nap, or if it’s a long drive, putting the kids in PJs and taking off right before bedtime.

Choose the right seats.

If your kid is just starting to walk, get an aisle seat. There’s nothing more annoying to a person trying to watch a movie than being asked to get up 107 times so a toddler can wander up and down the aisles. If your child is older, the window seat is great for cloud-watching and pinning stickers to the window. Just make sure they use the bathroom before you board.

Buy travel insurance.

There’s what seems like a 50 percent chance one of your kids will get sick before you leave. It might feel like a waste of money if you don’t use travel insurance, but when two kids are throwing up the night before you take off, you’ll be thrilled that you aren’t losing thousands of hard-earned bucks only to stay home and empty out a bucket.

Strategize about the stroller.

The Mountain Buggy Nano stroller and the YOYA stroller count as carry-on luggage. They fold up so small they can be stored above your seat, so no waiting for everyone to deplane to get your stroller back! It is especially useful if you’re traveling alone with a kid or two and need to know you’ll have access to it at all times.

Get the kid on board.

Fill your child in on the travel plan ahead of time, and keep repeating the information until they really seem to get it. This is a way to get them psyched for the trip—“I’m going to go on a long airplane ride to see cousin Susie!”—and also to make sure they’re not alarmed by any of the steps you’ll take along the way.

How and What to Pack

I spoke with Kitt Fife and Joni Weiss of Practically Perfect. These two—who have six kids between them, as well as a thriving organizing and lifestyle company based in Los Angeles—are experts at getting from A to B with a big brood and everyone’s sanity (mostly) intact.

Practical Stuff:

  • Pack all activities in a backpack for your child. If they are old enough, they should be the one to carry it.
  • Bring an empty water bottle for each kid to fill up after you get through security. For car travel, give each kid a full water bottle before you leave. It’s best if they have straw tops to avoid spills.
  • Do not forget the chargers. It’s awesome that you remembered the phones, iPads, computers, and Kindles. But did you pack the chargers, too?

Necessities:

  • Medication. Doesn’t your kid always spike a fever when you’re halfway to Grandma and Grandpa’s? Make sure you have enough Tylenol on hand. If you’re worried about TSA requirements, buy chewables. Also bring enough Kleenex.
  • Extra clothing. For the kids and for you (yes, you: You do not want to smell like puke for hours on end). If you have a toddler or baby, bring at least two changes per kid. If you’re going on an overnight flight, pack pajamas, too. Once the kid starts to look tired, get them changed and create a more sleep-inducing environment with a favorite luvie, a book, a bottle or breast, and, if possible, dim the lights or bring a sleep mask.
  • Snacks. Plan for a combo of healthy snacks (sliced apples, nuts, dried fruit, fruit pouches) and snacks that will excite the kids because they rarely get them. A few great sweet treats for kids are chocolate peanut gems or mini chocolate chips.
  • Trash bags and Ziplocs. Ziplocs are the best for vomit (seal in the smell!) If someone’s clothes are soiled due to a spill on a flight, a trash bag or Ziploc can also come in handy.  
  • Wipes. Enough said.
  • Hand sanitizer. You can go DIY, buy natural, or grab the Purell.
  • Toilet seat covers. BYO. These are great for toddlers who want to touch the seat.
  • If you’re pregnant: Compression socks.
  • If you’re nursing: Bring swaddle blankets. These can be used to cover dirty surfaces, shield the baby from light to help them sleep, cover your breast, or for warmth.

Fun:

  • Mad Libs are super entertaining for older kids.
  • Water Wow is wonderful for younger kids (the best for mess-free art on-the-go).
  • Action Plates are self-contained and super entertaining.
  • Pack a notebook for each child and markers in a pencil case. Fife has these for her kids and breaks them out only on trips.
  • For road trips, Weiss’ kids are obsessed with the license plate game. Good, old-fashioned fun. A “letter hunt” (or number hunt) is a great idea for kids who are too young to read the names of the states. A clipboard/notebook for recording comes in handy here.
  • Bingo sets for the car!

Keeping Calm

Move, move, move.

When our family went on road trips back in the ’80s, I always bolted out of the car at rest stops and cartwheeled across the lawn. I didn’t do this for any logical reason, I just knew I needed to move. Adults need this, too! When you’ve spent hours in a car, it is absolutely vital to move your body at every opportunity.
If you have kids, you can make a game of it—race them around the rest area, see how many jumping jacks you can all do. Get your heart rate going a bit. Even if you’re in a rush to get somewhere, frequent stops can help make the whole trip much more pleasant.
On a flight this is obviously a little more challenging, but you can walk quickly to your gate (f your kids are old enough or take them in strollers) and you can walk around the gate area, do jumping jacks, or be that person doing a handstand next to the baggage claim!
Looking for ways to move on the plane? Walking up and down the aisle with a squealing toddler might be enough, but you can also do in-flight yoga—poses that can easily be done in your seat. Take standing breaks in the rear of the plane, and make sure you’re drinking enough water.

Dealing With Anxiety

Oh, the anxiety of travel. Sometimes all goes smoothly, sometimes it doesn’t. But according to LA-based clinical psychologist Vanessa Katz, PsyD, there are a few things you can do to set yourself up for the sanest possible trip.

  • Give yourself enough time to pack. This might seem obvious, but it is never wise to start your packing at 11:00 the night before you leave only to realize most of your underwear is dirty and you can’t find any sunhats.
  • Make lists. You can even divide things into different categories: carry-on, suitcase, kids’ bags.
  • Read up on your destination. “Find things other travelers have said about a place,” Katz says. “This helps reassure you that others have been okay.”
  • Think about what’s really making you anxious—and share it with someone. Your partner, your mother, your therapist. Talking it out almost always helps relieve the anxiety.
  • Know that you will be coming home. Vacations are finite. Try to enjoy your few days or weeks away, knowing it’ll all be over soon.  

Extra Time With Family

If your flight home is delayed because of weather, make sure you have enough stuff to keep the kids occupied. Chances are they will have a lot of new Christmas gifts to dig into, but this might be a time to indulge them a bit by allowing them to watch their favorite shows or taking them to a movie. If the weather is okay where you are—and you can’t stand one more day with your extended family—use it as an excuse to see some sights nearby, even if it’s just the local mall! Scope the options out ahead of time.
Holiday travel can be stressful, but remember that even if everything goes wrong, there is almost always something wonderful to be found in the adventure—or at least a good story to tell!

Categories
Happy x Mindful Wellbeing

Wisdom From Women: The Best Advice For Every Decade

Hitting the 30-year mark was surprisingly inauspicious for me. There was no lightning bolt from the sky that offered up all the wisdom that I’d been lacking in my 20s. There wasn’t even a discount at the grocery store checkout.
It’s only been as I’ve marched onward into the fourth decade (yes, do the math) of my life that I’ve started to gain any sense of what I should have done back when I was 20 or 21.
Wisdom takes time.
Fortunately for us, the world is full of people who’ve had more time than we have to figure life out.
When you hit adulthood, you quickly learn that age melts away. Friendships with women who are 10, 20, 30, or even 40 (plus) years older than you become as natural as it once was to wrinkle up your nose and declare, “Thirty? That’s so ooooooold.”
And with those friendships comes the ability to learn. To learn from mistakes. To learn from experiences.
With three and a half decades down and plenty of learning left to do, I turned to some wise women who have a few years on me and asked a simple question: What do you wish you’d known in your 20s and 30s that women like me can learn from?
Here what they shared.

Your Career

Struggling with work–life balance and thinking you need to throw in the towel? It’s okay. You can do this.
“I’m 53, and if I could have 10 seconds of hindsight things would/could have been so much different,” says Faith Metzinger. “Someone my age didn’t necessarily have the means to pursue a career that they may have wanted. I would tell my younger me that she should pursue those dreams. It is possible to be a great wife, mom, and have a profession or career you love.”
When you’re succeeding, don’t forget to celebrate, says 51-year-old Jill Robbins.
“There’s a difference between tooting your own horn and being an obnoxious a***ole bragger,” the Texas-based writer says. “It’s totally okay to be proud of your accomplishments and let others know you are proud of your accomplishments. Own your success and your happiness.”

Your Family

There’s an old quote from Leo Tolstoy that often gets pulled out by people struggling with family drama: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
If you’re trying to make your unhappy family fit the happy family mold, Zippy Sandler’s advice? Stop.
“You can’t change someone else,” 63-year-old Sandler says, “not your significant other/your child/your family/your friends. You can only change yourself and your reactions to them.”
Got an email box that’s crowded with baby shower invites taunting you about your child-free state? Wondering if you need to dive in because, “hey, everyone else is having babies,” but you’re not really sure?
Potter and florist Jill Weiner, 56, is matter-of-fact: “Having children is not mandatory. Be who you are. Conformity is not an option!”
If you do decide to have kids, on the other hand, take a page out of Patti Roche’s book.
“Don’t compare yourself to others or your children with anyone else’s children,” the 52-year-old elementary school teacher and mom of two says. “This was the one thing that made my life stressful and wasn’t good for my kids. I let others make judgments about my kids (including teachers), and I listened to them. It caused my kids pain and unnecessary “diagnosing” from other people who didn’t know more than me.”

Your Body

There’s a strength that’s expected in society. We cannot be frail. We must be fierce. But sometimes we need to give ourselves a break, Roche says.
“Feel what you feel with no reservations,” she advises. “I didn’t realize how important it is to allow yourself to be emotional. My mom passed away last year and my dad is lamenting all the unspoken and mysterious ways my mom dealt with all the rough patches in her life. Allow people to see your feelings, but also be okay with whatever a situation makes you feel.”
Body image is nothing if not complicated for millions of people. If she had her 20s and 30s to do over again, Roche says she’d tell herself, “Don’t constantly judge your looks or how you handle life. No one has it all together, so relax. Have a piece of cake and enjoy. Stay healthy but not with sacrifices that make you cranky!”
Weiner’s advice? “One piece of cheesecake will do—no need to eat the entire cake!”

Your Voice

There’s one word Robbins wishes she’d said more in her 20s and 30s.
“It’s okay to say ‘no,’” the Texas writer says. “It sounds like such basic advice (and it is) but I found ‘no’ harder to say when I was a younger woman. Whether that’s ‘no’ because someone is touching you, asking you out for coffee, asking you to put more things on your plate, to do more, connect them to someone, whatever it may be. It’s okay to say ‘no’ and not be a b***h about it or feel compelled to give an explanation as to why. Just ‘no.’ Learning to say ‘no’ is freeing and it’s something I don’t think I mastered until I was in my late 40s.”
And while you’re at it, participate, Weiner says.
“Roll up your sleeves and volunteer. Make a damn difference. There are wrongs that need righting all around us all the time, and we have a responsibility to act up for the best interest of our neighbors—be they next door or halfway around the planet.”
A final piece of advice from Sandler? Don’t forget to enjoy the ride.
“There is no happy ending, and thinking that all of the rewards come at the end means that you’ll miss the BEST part of life…the journey.”