Tag: social

Daycare Violations: Navigating The Worrying World Of Childcare Providers

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date February 23, 2018

Ask any working parent in the United States and they’ll tell you that childcare is a huge expense for their family. Most Americans report that they spend 10 percent of more of their income on childcare, while roughly one third of American families are spending 20 percent of their income on care for their child while they work, according to a Care.com survey. Daycare costs so much, you can actually attend an in-state college for a year for less than you spend on a year of daycare for your children, according to NPR.
The cost of daycare is a real problem in the United States. For my family, it meant I took an overnight job after my daughter’s first birthday and would come home and parent on little to no sleep several times a week. For some families, it is the reason that mothers decide not to return to work after a child is born. Unfortunately, it is often one of the reasons that children end up with subpar, or even dangerous, care providers.
“When my daughter was a baby, we had no money,” shares Amy Shearn, mom and freelance writer. “But there was a lady down the block who watched kids for cheap. I didn’t love it because she’d sometimes have three or four kids there, and they seemed to mostly eat cookies and watch TV … we did it anyway for a few hours a week because it was the only way I could get any work done without paying more than I was making.”
Amy Shearn isn’t alone. Many parents face problems with their childcare options because of cost, location, and a lack of information. When childcare is subpar, it is ultimately the children that suffer the most.

The Laws that Make Childcare Safe

In order to become a licensed childcare facility, service providers have to comply with a specific set of guidelines and pass inspections. In the United States, these guidelines vary from state to state.
In Missouri, for instance, licensing laws are different based on the type of care center. In-home daycares don’t have to be licensed, according to Robin Phillips, the chief executive officer of Child Care Aware of Missouri, but if they want to become licensed they will have to comply with laws in place pertaining to environmental safety, teacher-to-child ratio, background checks, and more.
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And some child care providers are completely exempt, such as religious providers of childcare, preschool programs that offer less than four hours of care each day, and anyone who is caring less than four non-related children in their home, according to the The Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services.

The Surprising Number of Daycare Violations

Daycare violations among licensed facilities are incredibly common, unfortunately. One 2013 news story detailed an alarming 144 number of violations in the St. Louis area alone. These violations were sometimes minor, but many were downright scary. One center, for instance, was facing a violation after a child was found walking down a street in the area. Another was reported when a child was kneed by a staff member. Many of the childcare violations were because the center didn’t have the correct number of staff members for the number of children in each class.
More recently, in December 2017, an Arizona daycare faced a $300 fine after three employees were charged with child abuse. The investigation happened after the three employees covered up a incident where a child was struck with a broom.
A Houston area daycare was investigated in December as well when a child was found walking near the highway by police, according to KHUO. The child was said to have walked away while outside during recess, according to the story, and the child’s absence went unnoticed by the staff.

Exclusive video: small child found on side of 288 returned to nearby church daycare. Lady says he’s “one of ours.” Driver who spotted him says kid was crying. Working to confirm other details #khou11 pic.twitter.com/TMKGfkYe6N

— Jason Miles (@JMilesKHOU) December 22, 2017

Unfortunately, the list goes on and on. Enough searching reveals stories of children abused or losing their lives while under the watch of their care providers. It’s enough to make the very idea of dropping your child off at a daycare center scary.

The Good News About Child Care Violations

There really is good news. Childcare violations are typically published for the public online in a state database. This means that parents can do their research on a childcare provider themselves, using the information they find online to make informed decisions about the childcare provider they chose. This information is provided by the start department responsible for child care licenses in each state, like the Department of Health and Senior Services in Missouri.
“It helps parents understand if they were cited for any reason,” Phillips explains. “There’s an array of things that are minor violations, and there are obviously some things that are more serious, and those things are tracked, and they’re public information.”
It’s important to understand that unlicensed providers won’t appear on this database. When care providers are unlicensed, they don’t get visited by the department of child care regulations, according to Phillips.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHp6NxyF24w
In addition searching the databases available online, Phillips recommends that parents take the time to visit childcare providers they’re considering multiple times. Instead of relying on word-of-mouth alone, guardians should make both planned and random visits, paying attention the number of teachers in the room at any given time, how many kids are there, and what is going on in the daycare during any point of the day. For families who are uncertain of what type of questions to ask or what to look for in a center, Child Care Aware, which is available in several states, provides resources to parents to help guide them as the select a provider for the children in their care.

Why Unsafe Childcare is Commonplace

Unfortunately, in the United States, unsafe or low quality childcare options appear to commonplace. There are certainly excellent child care options in the State, but there are three big limitations that prevent parents and other family members from finding quality care for the child in their their care.
https://twitter.com/ChelseaFickes/status/966835578024202240
First, and perhaps the most obvious, is cost. Like Shearn, many parents are trying to find a childcare provider they can afford and finding the costs of daycare astronomical. In 2016, the average cost of daycare style childcares was $211 each week, according to a survey by Care.com. The costs go up from there: Nannies cost over twice that much, and simply hiring an after-school sitter for 15 hours a week puts most parents back $232 a week.
And for parents who qualify for assistance, the subsidies still aren’t enough, according to Phillips. Those making minimum wage are still struggling to pay for their reduced-rate childcare. Even if a family can afford childcare, the issue of availability is a problem in certain areas of the country.
“There are challenges in more rural areas. This is a national issues, not just in Missouri,” explains Phillips. “There’s scarcity in what’s available, the supply, compared to … the number of working families with children under six that are in need of that service.”

Lastly, not all states have laws and regulations that are helpful to parents looking for care and the licensing regulations vary greatly from state to state. This may make information on daycare difficult to come by, especially if parents don’t know about resources like Child Care Aware or their state simply doesn’t have this kind of resource.

The Bigger Picture

Many of the limitations mentioned above may appear to be individual, based on the circumstances of a specific family, like their income or where they live. The truth is the problems families face when looking for care for children is unquestionably linked to a bigger country-wide problem.

It’s easy to look at the extreme examples mentioned above—children wandering off or being abused in centers—and begin to believe that safety is the only matter at stake when selecting care for a child. There is a lot more at stake. Based on the availability of childcare and the limited resources that help parents pay for childcare, it doesn’t appear that the country as a whole is taking this seriously. It’s important to understand how pivotal the early years are for children, and the the conversation surrounding childcare have to go beyond “Are children safe?” and move to questions about what kind of effort is being put into their enrichment as a human being.
“When they don’t have access to those environments or the families struggles to pay for that, it usually falls on the backs of the child and their future,” says Phillips, adding that our country as a whole doesn’t place a high enough value on the earliest years of a child’s life.
https://twitter.com/sbanawan/status/964577965202866177
“By the time a child is five, the research out there will tell you that that child’s brain is 90 percent developed of an adult,” says Phillips, who strongly believes that children need access to so much more than safe care. A low stress environment that focuses on individual learning is what all children need to thrive as young children and as they grow into adolescents and adults.

Tags 50038051, hemingway, parenting, social

Lifestyle

How To Safely Test Makeup In The Store

Post author By Hilary Thompson
Post date February 20, 2018

At its best, makeup gives us the confidence to feel our best. We highlight our brows, line our eyes, blacken our lashes, rouge our cheeks, and paint our pouts. We research the best products, we see samples in stores, we get free makeovers at department store counters—and we still spend thousands of dollars over a lifetime to feel beautiful. Ah, the price of beauty.
But some women have paid a much higher price. You may have heard of Katie Wright, a woman from Austin, Texas, who made headlines last summer. In a social media post, Wright wrote that she thought she had a “giant under the skin pimple” by her eyebrow and innocently squeezed it, as many of us would have done.

Within an hour, Wright knew something was wrong. The area swelled significantly. She felt like it was going to explode. Wisely, Wright went straight to the hospital.
She was diagnosed with severe cellulitis, a type of staph infection. Physicians watched the young woman closely, as staph can easily spread to the bone, muscle, and blood. The location of her infection was too near her eyes and brain for their comfort. They acted quickly, as cellulitis can easily become life-threatening.
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Wright believes she acquired the infection from a makeup brush she used frequently on her eyebrows but never cleaned. Shocking pictures of her red, swollen face quickly went viral on social media. Wright tweeted that she had become famous for “being ugly.”
Wright is not alone, and even if you keep your own brushes ultra-clean, you might still be at risk…if you sample makeup in a store.
[related article_ids=1005850]

Here’s the damage dirty samples can do.

In October 2017, a woman filed a lawsuit against Sephora claiming to have contracted oral herpes from a lipstick sample in their store. The alleged incident took place in 2015, when Elana Davoyan sampled the in-store lipsticks.

Davoyan is suing for $25,000 in damages for emotional distress, according to Today‘s coverage of the lawsuit. Prior to sampling the lipstick at Sephora’s makeup counter, she says, she did not have herpes. Davoyan claims she has been adversely affected due to the unsightliness of the sores now appearing around her mouth. The case is still pending.
In 2011, Mary Zorcik, a sales associate in a department store out of Forest Hills, New York, told Prevention that she contracted a horrible case of conjunctivitis the year before. The infection was so bad that she couldn’t wear her contacts for two weeks, and it may have been a result of contaminated samples.

Meanwhile, in a 2004 study out of Rowan University, Elizabeth Brooks, a professor and biological sciences researcher, found makeup samples to be harboring all sorts of contamination. Brooks found E.coli, staph, and strep in the samples, she told the Los Angeles Times in 2010.
The two-year study revealed that on Sundays, a shocking 100 percent of all the makeup samples (skin, eye, and lip makeup) were contaminated with a bacteria or virus of some sort. Most of it was staphylococcus aureus, a virus that usually doesn’t become a problem unless it’s transferred from the skin’s surface to the nose or eyes. But doesn’t makeup tend to get pretty close to our noses and eyes?
The good news is that makeup doesn’t offer a lot of food for pathogens. The 100 percent contamination found on a Sunday would slowly die off as fewer and fewer visitors transferred new germs into the makeup during the slow part of the week, Brooks told her university’s website. In a later interview with the Wall Street Journal, Brooks clarified that the bacteria was “all surface contamination. If the ladies wipe it off, we can get it near zero.”

That’s if you wipe it off, though, and this still brings up important questions for anyone who buys cosmetics: How risky is testing makeup in a store? If this can happen with a brush at home, as it may have with Wright, what about with brushes that are used by hundreds at the makeup counter? Or during free makeovers? Ultimately, how can you sample makeup safely?
Following these seven tips will help make your trip to the makeup counter as safe as possible.

1. Do your part. Don’t double dip.

Double-dipping spreads bacteria. If you want to sample a mascara a second time, ask for another wand. Know, too, that not everybody before you will be such a good citizen—always wash your face after a mall makeover, Brooks told the Rowan University news site.

To be extra safe, test everything on your wrist. Be sure to wash thoroughly with soap and water after you do, though, so any germs can’t find their way to your nose or eyes.

2. Beware of in-store brushes.

Before getting a “free” makeover in a store, ask some questions.
“You should be careful about using brushes that have been used on other people,” warns Alan Parks, MD, a board-certified dermatologist based in Ohio. “Make sure you see the brush being cleaned using some kind of [disinfectant] … .”

Parks isn’t wrong. The last thing you want is a free sample of pink eye with your makeover.
Celine Thum, MD, of Paradocs Worldwide has an even better solution. While she seconds that you should make sure brushes are cleaned before someone uses them on you, she goes one step further.

“Better yet, bring your own brushes!” Thum recommends. Also, she says, “before trying on [a] new color, have the employee scrape or sharpen off the top layers of exposed product.”

3. But if you’ve gotta use them, go disposable.

Use those disposable, one-time-use mascara wands, cotton swabs, and eyeshadow applicators on the makeup counters. They are there for your safety. Just hope that the person before you didn’t double-dip.

“If you are going to try out makeup in a store, it should only be products that you can apply using some kind of q-tip or other disposable applicator, where you know that people aren’t actually touching the product,” warns Parks. “You even have to be careful in these cases, as you never know when people may have used their fingers instead.”

4. Skip the jars. Go tubing instead.

Never stick your fingers into a jar of cream, urges Parks. They’re a breeding ground for bacteria, and you may be the hundredth hand of the day to touch it.
“Think about all the germs that go into those jars when so many people are putting their hands in them,” Parks says. He also cautions against sampling products that go around the eye area because, remember: conjunctivitis.
When possible, opt for a squeezable tube, and only use it after wiping the tip with a tissue or—you guessed it—a disinfecting wipe.
No tube? Makeup that comes in a pump is safer than sampling from a jar, as well, because it’s a whole lot harder to “double-dip” with a pump—unless you have much smaller fingers than we do. The odds of someone before you contaminating it are extremely low. Pump away, germ-free!

5. Wipe it down.

Take disinfectant wipes with you to the store and wipe down anything that touches your face, like a lipstick tube or an eyeshadow brush, suggests Arisa Ortiz, MD, director of laser and cosmetic dermatology at UC San Diego Health.

6. Lipstick ‘em up.

Wipe off the end of the lipstick with a tissue or, better yet, a disinfectant wipe. Or scroll the lipstick all the way and use a cotton swab to sample from the very bottom of the stick (after wiping it off, of course).

Brooks told the Los Angeles Times that wiping the stick is probably sufficient. But she also added that she wouldn’t let her teenage daughters sample lipstick unless it was in an individual tester, so take that as you will.

7. Go Virtual

At some stores, you can actually try on makeup samples virtually. At Sephora‘s largest New York location, you can “Tap and Try” their makeup at a station that uses face recognition software to let you sample the latests shades and looks. At MAC stores, you can use their new Augmented Reality mirrors to see how a variety of eye makeup combinations would look on you.

L’Oréal has even created an app so you don’t even need to leave your house to try makeup before you buy it. Their Makeup Genius app takes a picture of your face, then shows you how you’d look wearing different shades and products. Sephora has a similar app.

After her close call, Wright began advocating for better makeup hygiene.

“If you take one thing away from this, please see how crucial it is to thoroughly wash your brushes and tools,” she told a reporter for HuffPost. “I urge everyone to take an extra step in your cleaning routine to prevent yourself from a horrifying, painful and potentially life threatening infection.”
Most experts suggest washing brushes frequently and replacing them when they start to look worn, too.

This is important stuff. It wasn’t just Wright’s health that suffered from her infection. Her pocket book took quite a hit, too. Since Wright’s pictures went viral, she has been trying to raise money for the medical expenses with a GoFundMe campaign.
“Unfortunately, this was not a cheap lesson to learn. I was left with thousands of dollars in hospital bills that I haven’t been able to pay yet,” Wright wrote on her fundraising page. “The doctors of St. David’s [Hospital] saved my life and it would mean the world to be able to pay them back for their services.”
Unfortunately, Wright’s experience isn’t exclusive to the home. Luckily, though, there are some safe ways to sample makeup—thanks to disinfectants, disposables, and technology that won’t put you at risk of contracting an unwanted viral or bacterial pathogen. Beautiful, isn’t it?

Tags social

Healthy Relationships Wellbeing

Why Women Are Blamed When Men Cheat

Post author By Heather Vecchioni
Post date February 16, 2018

When word got out that Brad Pitt cheated on his wife Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie, the world reacted in a typical way: It blamed his wife and his mistress instead of him. Pitt spoke out that he was “wasting his life” while married to Aniston, and those around him thought that Jolie brought out a spark in him. As such, it seemed Pitt gained sympathy for having a wife who didn’t make him happy because naturally, it’s her job to ensure that he is satisfied. In the end, Pitt walked away from the scandal unscathed, yet Aniston was blamed for not being exciting enough and Jolie was labeled as a home-wrecker.

Why wasn’t the finger pointed at Pitt? Because he’s a man.

Why Women Are Blamed

In general, it seems that women are labeled as responsible for the quality of a relationship because they are seen as the upholders of them. But why?
“Historically, most women were dependent upon men,” says family, marriage, and sex therapist Georgia Nickles. “There was a division of labor. Men were supposed to concentrate upon providing food and shelter, whereas women were supposed to uphold relationships, offer comfort, compassion, and sexual satisfaction, as well as care for their home and children. These stereotypical positions are deeply rooted into our modern-day thinking, even though there are changes in attitudes happening as the stereotypical roles are slowing evolving.”

And even though women work outside of the home now, raise children on their own, and have worked hard to be seen as “equals” with men, they are still unfairly blamed when things go awry in the relationship. Instead of blaming the person who strays, the world would rather try to figure out why the cheating happened and then place blame. Often, that blame is placed on the woman, even when it’s wrong.

“The blame never falls on one person in the relationship,” says Christopher K. Belous, PhD, a sexological researcher and professor of couple and family. “Often, infidelity is caused by both partners pulling away and distancing themselves from the relationship itself—and is a symptom of larger issues.”
He says that many people think that because a woman is supposed to “make her man happy,” that any infidelity her partner commits is her fault and that she did something wrong.

“This is absolutely untrue, and a myth of our culture,” he says. “Women are not the only people responsible for relationships, sex, and emotional connection.”
And yet, they are often still told they are.

What Women Are Blamed For

It’s safe to say that when a man cheats, he does so on his own accord. His wife or girlfriend doesn’t ask or force him to stray, but when he does, the woman is usually looked at as the guilty party. People want to know what she did to make him cheat, instead of figuring out what changed in him to make him want to stray.

And although this is far from fair, or the truth, it happens.
“Often, women are blamed for the choices that men make when they break the contract of fidelity in marriage,” says Nickels. “The blame usually centers around such reasons as the following: the women were not interested in providing enough sex for the man, the women were never interested in pursuing the man, the woman had become sexually boring, the woman had let herself go physically, the woman had lost interest in the husband in general, or that the woman had become hyper-focused upon children or other interests.”
In other words, women are accused of not having enough sex, not giving their partners enough attention, or spending too much time taking care of their children when their partner cheats. However, if a person is questioning why the affair happened, it’s important for them to take a look at their partner, not just themselves, says Hilary Phillips, licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist.
“When there has been an affair it is important for both partners to take a long, honest look at the relationship dynamics and the personality/behavior styles of each partner,” she says. “It is possible that the person who cheated has characterological issues, such as narcissism or even sociopathy—these are the people who will most likely cheat again.”

The Real Reason Men Cheat

Besides having an uncontrollable attraction to someone they just can’t resist, men cheat for a variety of reasons. And some of the reasons have less to do with physicality and are more about emotion, or lack thereof.

“There are so many reasons that people cheat in a relationship; my experience is that it is very rarely just one reason behind an affair,” says Phillips. “Some common contributing factors are poor communication and feeling disconnected emotionally and physically from a partner. It is common for those who have cheated to say they felt hopeless that things would ever feel exciting and connected in the relationship again.”
They may also cheat because they have unrealistic expectations of the relationship and then feel disappointment as a result, says Nickels.
“They often do not have the communications skills to deal with their disappointing partners,” she says. “Additionally, men fail to see their own part in the marital disappointments. Also, men often have intimacy and sex confused, or they have unrealistic expectations of what women are supposed to do. Unable to deal with disappointment, men, many times, do an end-run around problems, which means finding an affair partner.”

What Women Often Do When He Cheats

Although women will typically blame their husbands or boyfriends for the affair, they also tend to place the blame on someone else: themselves. They tend to question what they did wrong, and then believe that if they had behaved differently, their partners would be satisfied and faithful. Most of the time, however, this is wrong.

“I think this is directly connected to that historical perspective and social belief that women are responsible for the relationship,” says Belous. “As such, and because they hold that belief (falsely), they end up blaming themselves for the infidelity—subconsciously saying to themselves, ‘If I had been good enough,’ or ‘If only I were better at sex,’ then their partner wouldn’t have left. Of course, this is also completely untrue.”
And in addition to themselves, women will also point at someone else other than their partners: the other woman.
You’ve likely seen the trashy talk shows in which the girlfriend and other woman attack each other once the affair has been discovered. Instead of throwing punches at the man, the woman who has been cheated on takes her anger out on the mistress, which further contributes to women taking the blame for infidelity. But why go after the other woman when your partner is the one who hurt you?
“Affairs are devastating and can rock the foundation of everything we know our life to be” says Phillips. “This can be so overwhelming that a common defense mechanism is to blame external factors. Often, with time, people can take an honest look at themselves and their relationship to truly understand why an affair happened.”

What They Should Do

If you do find yourself in the nightmare of learning your partner had an affair, the first thing you should do is avoid blaming yourself. Your partner has a mind of his own and you did not make him cheat, no matter what he or others say. And if you do find others pointing the finger at you, consider the source.
“I think any woman who is being blamed for the infidelity of her partner needs to check the people who are doing the blaming,” says Belous. “Are those people who are truly necessary or actually a good part of your life? I recommend to every couple that I’ve worked with who are going through a monogamous infidelity situation, to consider being more open and public about their situation and experience. Why should we shame ourselves for making a mistake?”
It is also important to understand that marriage has evolved from what it used to be. Along with working together to build a life, partners also expect their significant others to be their best friends, support systems, co-parents, and passionate lovers. That’s a whole lot of expectation for one person, says Phillips.
“With open, honest communication couples can learn to manage these high expectations and learn how to get some needs met from other sources—and create a monogamy agreement that works for them,” she says. “With a little less pressure on the relationship, we may see the prevalence of cheating, which can have devastating effects, come down.”

Dealing with your partner’s infidelity is difficult enough, but when you’re being blamed for the affair, you may face an impossible situation.
“When a partner cheats or breaks a contract, it is simply a maladaptive choice,” says Nickels. “It is very difficult to be the victim who gets blamed or shamed. Individual therapy can be very helpful in order to develop the ego strength needed to deal with that blame and/or shame.”
https://twitter.com/WeNeedFeminlsm/status/951095285886877696
And it’s also helpful to realize that you are not to blame, no matter what anyone says and that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the need to stray.

Tags 50038026, balance, hemingway, social

Nutrition x Advice

9 Health Food Claims That Aren't Actually True

Post author By Hilary Thompson
Post date February 16, 2018

Every grocery store shelf confronts us with a host of labels that can be inconsistent at best and misleading at worst. What’s the health-conscious shopper to do?
Our mothers told us to eat one way, the news recommends another, and then there’s the internet: a never-ending swarm of questionable health claims. It seems that our best tools these days are skepticism and up-to-date scientific research to debunk these claims and myths that we’ve been led to believe.
Well, the experts have weighed in on the nine most common food claims. Here they are, in no particular order:

Eating After 6 Causes Weight Gain

There is an interesting—and sometimes troubling—connection between food and sleep, but there are also plenty of misconceptions. The most common one is that eating too late at night will cause weight gain.

Frida Harju-Westman, a certified nutritionist with health-tracking app Lifesum, says, “This is a persistent myth, and interestingly, no one seems to know exactly where it comes from. While 6 p.m. isn’t a magical time at which we stop digesting our food and gain weight, late night eating has been found to cause weight gain (primarily because it is usually the unhealthy foods we reach for that late in the day).”
Our bodies, she says, don’t know what time it is, only the amount of calories you are consuming. If you eat a healthy diet, it doesn’t matter what time you eat it.

You Only Need Five Servings of Fruits and Vegetables a Day

Stop us if you’ve heard this one: Five servings of fruits and vegetables a day is all you need to maintain excellent health. In fact, five servings might still not be enough.
“It is important to remember that the figure was initially chosen as an achievable aim that wouldn’t overwhelm the general population,” Harju-Westman says. “Recent research by institutions in Norway, the U.S., and the UK found that eating 10 a day could prolong life and reduce diseases.”

Obviously, she says, if you can only fit in five servings a day, it’s better than nothing, but eating 10 could be even better. After all, when you’re eating lots of fruits and vegetables, that means you have less space in your stomach for junk food.

Want Strong Bones? Only Milk Will Do

Countless generations of moms have made their kids finish their milk because it’s “good for your bones.” But is that really the case? Vanessa Rissetto, RD, CDN, says, “There’s this misconception that milk is really good for your bones and that it has so much calcium.”
According to the National Institutes of Health, eight ounces of whole milk contains 276 milligrams of calcium, about 28 percent of the recommended daily value (DV). A cup of fresh, cooked kale offers 94 milligrams of the nutrient, or about 9 percent of the DV, and doesn’t come packed with fat calories.
Even stranger, some studies suggest an association between milk consumption and poorer bone health. Rissetto says, “There was a study done in Sweden for 20 years that followed women who drank zero or one glass of milk per day and those that drank three glasses per day. Guess what? The women who drank three glasses were known to have more instances of fractures than those who did not.”
Her advice is to find other sources of calcium like broccoli, soybeans, kale and edamame.

More Water is Always Better

Remember when we were all supposed to drink eight glasses of water per day, even when we were bloated with hydration, as far from thirsty as you can possibly be? Harju-Westman says that this arbitrary requirement is actually an overshot.

“There has been a significant amount of research which found that we don’t need eight glasses of water a day,” Harju-Westman says. “We can get some of the required liquid from other drinks, such as tea and coffee (which has been found not to dehydrate you), as well as fruits and vegetables, which also contain water.”

However, the nutritionist says, water is still the preferable source. Pay attention to your body’s signals so you can tell when you’re becoming dehydrated.

Still Water Runs Deep(er Than Fizzy Water)

Carbonated drinks don’t actually hydrate you, they say. Well, it looks like “they” are wrong again. Rissetto says that carbonation doesn’t ruin the hydrating effect of the water holding the bubbles.
“In a recent study, they gave people who had cycled about 4 percent of their body weight regular water, fizzy water, and sugar water—the result was that the carbonated water hydrated the cyclist just as well as the regular water,” Rissetto says.
Of course, there’s a big health difference between unflavored fizzy water and sugary soda pop, which scientists still say is associated with a range of health problems from diabetes to gout.

Detox Diets, Here We Come

Technically, if you have a healthy diet and lifestyle, you should never need to “detox” your body—no matter what cleansing herbal teas are on the shelf at the health food store.
“It is important to remember that the human body is well-equipped for dealing with any toxins that enter your body,” explains Harju-Westman. “For example, your kidneys filter your blood, removing any toxins found there through urine. Similarly, the liver stops some toxins from entering your blood stream, breaking down others, which are then removed from the body.”
Maybe that’s why many experts advise that you be wary of products that say “detox” or “cleanse” on the label. Jonathan Hawkins, a health and wellness advisor with Discount Supplements, says that these products tend to be just “marketing magic.”
Even worse, some detox diets and products can be dangerous.
“Detox products are often just a variety of laxatives and/or diuretics, designed to physically flush your system of waste and additional water, resulting in a flatter stomach and a feeling of being lighter,” Hawkins says. “Due to the ingredients, the results are almost instant, resulting in overnight praise for the company in question. However, for centuries, the human body has worked perfectly fine at detoxing itself.”
Instead of detox products and diets, Harju-Westman suggests caring for your kidneys and liver. She suggests drinking plenty of water and avoiding fatty foods and substances that stress the liver. Do these things and your body will detox itself, she says.

It Must Say “Low Fat” or It’s Horrible

Lots of foods contain fat, but is it all bad for you? Harju-Westman says no.
“Fat is a necessary element in our diets, as the body can’t process some vitamins without the fat’s help in dissolving them into your system,” she says. “Therefore, it is important not to cut out all fats from your diet, but instead, know the difference between the healthy (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated) and unhealthy (saturated) varieties.”
Omega-3 fatty acids can be found in seafood and shellfish, while vegetable oils are particularly high in omega-6. They are both essential oils that help regulate the inflammatory process in your body and enhance brain function.

Laurie Endicott Thomas, author of Thin Diabetes, Fat Diabetes: Prevent Type 1, Cure Type 2, says that it isn’t easy to make sure you’re getting your fill of these essential nutrients.
“It is really easy to get enough of both of these essential fatty acids,” Thomas says. “It’s really hard to find anyone who has a deficiency of either one. The need for these two fatty acids was not even recognized until hospitalized patients were being fed nothing but sugar solutions intravenously for an extended period.”
However, Matthew Mintz, MD warns, “Some fish are very high in mercury levels. While the body can handle tiny bits of mercury, daily doses of fish that are high in mercury levels can actually be dangerous. About a year ago, the FDA released advice of how much and what kind of fish to consume. Eating tuna daily can be dangerous!”
So that’s the “good” fat. Doctors still recommend avoiding saturated fats. There is a long list of foods that contain saturated fats, and the American Heart Association recommends that you get no more than 5–6 percent of your calories from the substance. However, there is a lot of data that places this recommendation under scrutiny, including a study from 2010 and another one published in 2017.

Who Hearts Eggs?

You’ve heard the news: Eating a lot of eggs will drive up your cholesterol levels. There’s just one problem—this is actually outdated advice.
Melody Steeples, MPH, RD, from Woodland Clinic Medical Group, says that eggs got a bad rap for years.
“In general, eggs are actually a very good source of iron, zinc and choline (a nutrient that is crucial for a number of metabolic functions),” Steeples says. “So they are a healthy choice. Your genetics play a much bigger part in influencing your cholesterol levels than your diet does.”
Steeples’ advice to patients rarely includes limiting egg consumption in any way.

Miracle Vinegar

Alana Biggers, MD, MPH, an assistant professor of clinical medicine at the University of Illinois-Chicago, has a bone to pick with a common (and admittedly tasty) home remedy for just about everything.
“Apple cider vinegar (ACV) is not a cure-all,” Biggers says, bursting a million tart bubbles. “People say it will help with weight loss, diabetes, cholesterol, and hypertension—to name a few conditions. These thoughts are not entirely true.”
Studies that claim ACV enhances weight loss also put participants on low calorie diets, for instance. The magical vinegar has been shown to reduce cardiovascular risk in rats and improve cholesterol in rats with diabetes, Biggers says. “But it’s not the fantastic cure-all that people say it is.”
Rissetto chimes in with a similar claim. Stories about ACV reducing pH levels are nonsense as well, she says.
“The body regulates the pH in the blood on a regular basis, and just think—the stomach is a highly acidic environment because it has to break down food,” Rissetto says. “Also, if you have reflux, drinking apple cider vinegar is likely just going to make it worse, so I would venture to say not to overdo it.”
As it turns out, skepticism could be your greatest asset when making health and diet decisions. Next time you’re at the store, scanning labels and adding groceries to your cart, be sure to keep a healthy dose of doubt on hand.

Tags social

Wellbeing

The Beauty Bias: How Attractiveness Affects Our Lives

Post author By Brooke Geller
Post date February 14, 2018

We live in a world where physical appearance is very highly regarded. Victoria’s Secret models, Hollywood stars, and young pop singers are worshipped not only for their talents but also for their good looks. Many of us spend countless hours and dollars trying to attain an appearance even slightly close to these famous figures.

The obsession isn’t slowing down, either. Plastic surgery is on the rise, with facelifts increasing in popularity by 4 percent from 2015 to 2016.
But what about those who don’t have to try? As much as we might try to emulate the high cheekbones and button noses of some of those Victoria’s Secret Angels, many were merely born that way. Ever noticed that their makeup routines are often very minimalistic? When you’re blessed with features that are traditionally considered attractive—such as facial symmetry—you don’t need to do much to enhance them.

What must it be like to grow up knowing that you’ve won the genetic lottery? And what causes the rest of us to admire and pursue that same level of natural beauty—the ultimate level of attractiveness—so relentlessly?

The Ugly Witch and the Beautiful Princess

There’s a growing trend of not telling little girls they’re pretty. In an article for HuffPost, author Lisa Bloom argued that doing so sends a message that their looks are a reflection of their worth.

Deborah Best, PhD, is a psychologist specializing in gender stereotypes among young children. She says that the emphasis on appearance starts young.
“Children are exposed to the importance of physical appearance and attractiveness from a very early age,” says Best. “Without really thinking about the implicit messages they send, parents, family, and friends often comment on a newborn’s appearance. ‘What a pretty baby! She’s going to break some hearts!’; ‘Look at those strong legs! He’s going to be a football player!’”

In graduate school, Best studied under influential child psychologist Harriet Lange Rheingold. According to Best, Rheingold observed parents utter the above judgments in the nursery and said parents were more likely to discuss girls’ appearances than boys’.
“Adult comments on children’s physical appearance indicate to children how important it is to ‘look good’,” continues Best. “These subtle messages tell children that appearance is important and also suggest that those who are ‘better looking’ are also better people.”

Even classic fairy tales follow this narrative. Cinderella, like so many other stories, features a beautiful girl tormented by a hideous villain (in this case, her stepsisters). In The Ugly Duckling, the protagonist is only accepted once he matures into a beautiful swan. In fact, he tries to end it all when the beautiful birds won’t accept him.
They’re even bombarded in the toy room. Barbies and Bratz dolls perpetuate an unrealistic standard of appearance for girls; boys’ action figures feature unnaturally chiseled jawlines and bulging biceps.
Try as you might to keep your kids away from such problematic depictions, they’re still going to grow up and see the idolization of beautiful people in their favorite films, TV shows, and music videos. They quickly begin thinking that to be rich, famous, and admired, you must be attractive.

As children become more self-aware, these external influences can cause them to question their own perceived attractiveness. If they don’t believe themselves to be beautiful enough, they may very well develop a dangerous complex.

The Pros and Cons of Being Hot (Or Not)

Young girls and boys quickly associate being good-looking with happiness and value. But is life really better beautiful?
Growing up attractive certainly has its benefits. According to the Council on Contemporary Families’ briefing of a study in the journal Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, good-looking high schoolers are more likely to experience popularity and an overall sense of belonging. They even receive better grades, perhaps due to closer relationships with their teachers.

In David R. Shaffer’s book, Social and Personality Development, he cites a 1979 study which found that “attractive youngsters may become progressively more confident, friendly and outgoing,” whereas their less-attractive peers become more introverted, per the CCF briefing.
However, the Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development study found that many students with below-average looks, less slowed by a social scene, were able to focus more on their academics. Meanwhile, the advantages their attractive classmates experienced were more likely to be put in jeopardy by a distracting lifestyle involving heavy drinking and dating.

So it seems that attractiveness doesn’t guarantee success, but how does attractiveness it affect the way we’re treated?
“Highly attractive children benefit from the more positive evaluations of competence, more attention, and from more positive and less negative interactions with peers and adults,” says Best. “In contrast, less attractive children certainly see the differential treatment and incorporate such evaluative information into their self concepts.”

In one University of Tennessee at Chattanooga study, researches asked a group of 18 children to evaluate 12 photos of children with “varying degrees of attractiveness”—those levels of attractiveness established, in part, by five additional children. Attractive features were things like “straight teeth, toothy smile, large eyes, longer eyelashes, clear skin, or nicely groomed hair of a popular style”; unattractive features were things like “crooked teeth, facial scars, blemishes, or moles, ungroomed hair, dirty or unkempt appearance”; average features sat somewhere in the middle.
“In general,” the study found, “physically unattractive children were assumed to be dirty, have lice, and exhibit behavioral problems compared to the physically attractive children.” This bias was especially strong when it came to female students.

Says Best: “There is clear evidence of the ‘beautiful is good’ stereotype. Unattractive individuals are perceived to be dull, uninteresting, less intelligent, and less trustworthy.”
Indeed, a Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study shows that people perceive traditionally attractive people to “possess more socially desirable personality traits” and “lead better lives” than traditionally unattractive people. This prejudice, Best says, starts in infancy:

“Infants as young as three months of age show visual preferences for faces based on attractiveness, and between six and 10 months they categorize faces based on attractiveness. These early perceptual preferences lead to [children] differentiating between extremes of attractiveness and making judgments that agree with those of adults. Beginning in preschool, children also show a preference for more attractive peers and make more positive attributions about them. By middle school, the attractiveness bias, particularly for girls’ attractiveness, is quite robust. Children show more positive bias toward attractive girls and more negative bias toward unattractive ones.”

Yet bias doesn’t always favor beauty. The briefing of the Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development study referenced research that identified “a penalty of attractiveness for women in certain male-dominated occupations,” including one study which found that wearing a flattering dress “reduced perceptions of women’s competence for managerial positions—though not for secretarial positions.”
Further, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study found that people in the “unattractive” and “average” group were perceived to be more competent parents than those in the “attractive” group.

What can be done?

If Tinder has taught us anything, it’s that people do derive pleasure from judging people’s looks—and not always in a good way. You might feel like that’s a sure sign that people really are just shallow jerks. But when you’ve been raised to place such an importance on appearance, it’s hard to shake that old mindset.
[pullquote align=”center”]Just think about it: How many of your hang-ups are based on actual “flaws” in your appearance, not things society has taught you to obsess over?[/pullquote]
But as much as we’re influenced by the world around us, we can take initiatives to curb those influences. We can be conscious of how we judge ourselves and others; we can derive happiness from no one’s concept of beauty but our own; we can derive happiness from things beyond beauty.

This is easier said than done for those of us who struggle with self-esteem. Rebuilding your self-image and learning to derive confidence from something besides appearance is a slow process—there’s a reason therapy is often referred to as an investment. Alexa Suter’s essay on her own “Ugly Duckling” experience shows how deceptive our self-perceptions can be. She talks about being unable to accept compliments, recognize flirtation, or understand people staring at you (surely they’re challenging you and not checking you out).
But just think about it: How much of your hang-ups are based on actual “flaws” in your appearance, not things society has taught you to obsess over? Remember the thigh gap, the practically unattainable “ideal” women strove for in 2013—even when experts warned of its dangers?
Not long ago, it seemed like ultra-thin was in. Nowadays, the more voluptuous look is favored. While it’s a good thing that being underweight no longer holds as much value, there’s nothing “body positive” about feeling like you have to drastically change your body to mirror the curvy figures you see on Instagram. It’s impossible to keep up, and it’s unhealthy.
And as for our kids? It’s more important than ever: Teach them the importance of compassion and self-love. Provide them with slightly more realistic images of body standards. Teach them not to judge others based on their appearance. And make sure they know that they’re more than their looks.

In the meantime, Best believes that change is already on the way.
“For many years in Western societies, being thin, young, and physically attractive have been highly valued characteristics,” she says. ”In recent years, with the obesity epidemic, advertisements and commercials are using more diverse models to sell products, particularly products that are appropriate for larger sized individuals. Perhaps exposure to these varied models, along with programs that emphasize characteristics other than attractiveness (e.g., STEM programs for girls), will change views of attractiveness as well as help to emphasize the value of other interpersonal characteristics.”

Tags social

Motherhood

What Parents Need To Know About Privacy In The Age Of Social Media

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date February 14, 2018

Like most 20-somethings, I’ve been on the internet for a long time. Long before there were children in my life or even a serious love interest (unless you count a junior high crush), I was spending my free time sending emails to girlfriends on Juno, then chatting on AIM, writing out my teenage angst on Xanga, and then posting songs from my favorite screamo band on Myspace.
So I grew up online. And then, when social media really took off, I was in high school and then moving on to college and adulthood. I grew accustomed to living my life out online, posting pictures of my wedding, my first home, and then my first baby. It was what I had always done, and it didn’t cross my mind that having children should change that in anyway.
Now, I’ve been posting pictures of my children online for over five years. I’ve been careful, to an extent, keeping the pictures appropriate, especially as my children grew older. Recently, I started to wonder if being careful wasn’t enough. They’re too young to consent to me posting pictures of them online, so is every post I make about them an invasion of their privacy?
It’s hard not to feel a little anxious about the choices I’ve made to live my life so transparently online. What will my children think about my social media choices when they’re teens? In 2016, for instance, an 18-year-old sued her parents for sharing over 500 pictures of her childhood on social media. According to USA Today, these Austrian parents hadn’t practiced a lot of discretion, posting pictures of her using the bathroom and sleeping unclothed.
For a generation that became parents in the age of social media, it’s difficult to know what is and isn’t appropriate to share. Cases like these are raising serious questions about each child’s right to privacy, along with the potential for legal consequences when parents don’t respect that right.

Every Child Has a Right to Privacy

“It is very important to teach children how to tell their own story and direct their own narrative,” explains Rob Holmes, a private investigator and security consultant who specializes in handling privacy issues, threats, and intellectual property.
https://twitter.com/ihearttheastros/status/950574645987639299
Unfortunately, for children who have grown up in the social media age, many parents are creating narratives for their children long before that child can consent to sharing that information online. It isn’t the occasional video of a child’s first steps or a photo of their preschool graduation, either. It’s the day-to-day of their lives—good, bad, and embarrassing.

A Nominet and Parent Zone study reveals the sharing done by parents is much more extensive than most realize, with the average parenting sharing roughly 1,500 pictures of their child online before their fifth birthday. This level of oversharing presents two serious issues, in the the opinion of Lisa Vallejos, PhD, who shares her thoughts with HealthyWay from the perspective of a therapist and a mother herself.
First, there are the issues of safety, which is a concern every parent should consider when posting pictures of their child online. In each image shared, including those shared to private accounts, there is code called metadata. This code contains information about the image, like the GPS location and the contact information of the person who took the photo, according to TechTarget.
Secondly, there is the potential of what we share online now becoming a source of shame for our children in the near future. Of course parents think that everything their baby and toddlers do is cute, but it is difficult to predict how those images could be harmful to the child in the future, and Vallegos encourages parents to keep that in mind.
“Particularly in photos that can provoke feelings of shame,” she says. “Once it’s out there, it’s out there, and you can’t get it back.”
She went on to say there is significant potential for these images, from potty training to tantrums, to later be found and have impact on relationships, friendships, and even careers, simply because they exist and could create shame for the child.

Every Child has a Right to Consent

Beyond the obvious impact parents’ online activity has on their children, the choice to post pictures of a child without their knowledge or permission raises big questions about the topic of consent, according to Vallegos. She was quick to point out how current events, specifically multiple allegations of sexual harassment and sexual abuse, should only further motivate parents to take the topic of consent more seriously.
https://twitter.com/Herbsterr/status/951287175223668737
More specifically, parents should consider the message it sends when they teach their child about consent but then do not respect that child’s own right to consent by oversharing private information about them online.
“We have to talk about consent, and we have to talk about consent from an early age,” she says. “It sends a really mixed message to a kid that they don’t get to consent with their parents, but they’re expected to know what consent is.”

Are there laws that protect children on social media?

If a teenager can sue her parents for sharing her baby photos on social media, does that mean there are laws in place meant to protect children from their parents’ oversharing? Unfortunately, the answer isn’t so black and white.
For example, in France parents have been formally urged to take their child’s privacy seriously, suggesting they shouldn’t be sharing pictures of their kids online at all. They take privacy so seriously that any parent who is sued by their child for a breach of privacy could pay as much as €45,000 in fines or spend a year in prison, according to The Verge.
In the States, there is obviously a much more relaxed stance on the subject of privacy for minors, but that doesn’t necessarily mean sharing online is without legal risk, according to Robert Ellis Smith, an attorney and the publisher of The Privacy Journal.

“Generally, parents are able to give consent to use photographs for their children until they reach the age of consent,” he says, explaining that the age of consent varies from state to state but is typically between 16 and 18 years old. “Commercial exploitation of a photo or use of one showing highly embarrassing or sensitive features may override this rule of law.”

Relearning Social Media Use

Personally, as someone who has shared extensively online about my life as a mom and my kids’ childhoods, I’m beginning to feel some regret about my online habits. I’ve done the research, I’ve talked to the experts, and it has become pretty clear—posting about my kids online doesn’t benefit anyone but me.
At times, it feels like sharing photos of my kids is a right that I have as a parent, but now I find myself questioning that assumption. There seems to be a big difference between texting my mom a picture of one of her grandkids covered in food after a dinner of red sauce and pasta and posting that same image online for hundreds of followers and friends to see. I’m frustrated with myself that I haven’t seen that line until now, and I find myself wondering why I got into the habit in the first place.
“I think it could be that it’s just normal and accepted now,” says Vallejos, noting that although many assume it’s a symptom of narcissism, she believes that is rarely the case. “People don’t really think about the implications or the deeper issues.”

I don’t care how much I post my kid on social media, he’s my life.

— Grace (@grace_laster) January 11, 2018

There is also the issue of competition and comparison, which I would love to believe I am immune to, but I know that is not true. It’s fairly typical for parents to feel a bit of competition with others, and children are a great source of validation, according to Vallejos.
For parents like me, who have spent so much of their lives on social media, it may be time to relearn how to use social media. I know that I have a lot to think about moving forward concerning what I post online.
There are two pieces of advice Vallejos offers to parents who feel they have already made mistakes when it comes to their kids’ privacy and social media. First, she suggests parents own the mistake, admit it to their kids, and decide not to get stuck in the shame. This is a good opportunity for parents to be transparent with their kids, admit their mistake, and explain that moving forward they will ask them for permission before posting anything about them online. Secondly, and more practically, she suggests doing the work of removing or hiding pictures and status updates that breach your child’s privacy.
https://twitter.com/voxkristen/status/957096750271037441
As for me, I’ve got a lot of thinking to do. At first thought, it seems extreme to wipe my child’s identity from the internet. At the same time, I no longer feel like it was my choice to share their childhood, to write their story, to begin with. And so, I’ve started the work of slowly saving what I want to keep to a thumbdrive and deleting the rest. I can’t undo the oversharing I have done online, but I can do everything possible to lessen the impact it has on my child.

Tags 50037791, hemingway, parenting, social

Wellbeing

5 Things People Constantly Lie About Every Day (And Why)

Post author By Jenny Lelwica Buttaccio
Post date February 14, 2018

A few years ago, a college friend of mine told me that she had decided to leave the hustle and bustle of the corporate world and pursue her dream of being a personal trainer at a local gym. She had always been interested in fitness, so the idea that she may want to change her career path didn’t seem far-fetched. I was happy that she took this bold life step.
But when I talked to her on the phone, something in her voice sounded off—like she wasn’t entirely excited about her decision. My gut told me she was lying about some aspect of her new occupation.
During one of our many phone chats, I began to probe a little deeper about the reasons she left her previous job and started this new endeavor. Initially, she tried her best to assure me that this was what she wanted, however, by the end of our conversation, she confided in me that the abrupt job change had not been her choice.

Unexpectedly, she had been laid off when her company underwent a period of restructuring. Suddenly, she found herself jobless and scared of what the future held. While many of her friends appeared to be thriving in their respective careers, she was wondering how she would pay her mortgage or other bills.
[pullquote align=”center”]
“Lies hide the truth. Without truth, there is no real connection. Without connection, humans feel empty and alone.”
—Funda Yilmaz[/pullquote]
During that vulnerable period in her life, she felt too embarrassed and insecure to be truthful with those closest to her, and she fabricated the story about why she took the job as a personal trainer. Naturally, I felt compassion for my friend, and I kept my lips sealed. It was important for her to open up to others when she felt comfortable—which she did a few months later.

My friend’s circumstance is just one example of the type of lie a person may tell in their everyday lives. In reality, lying is much more common than you’d expect. A study done at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst discovered that around 60 percent of people lied at least once during the timespan of a 10 minute conversation, and some people told an average of two to three lies. That’s a whole heck of a lot of lying going around!

Why is lying such a common part of our daily lives?

Funda Yilmaz, licensed personal counselor and psychotherapist, has seen the full spectrum of lying—from a small fib to more severe cases. She’s spent the last decade working with perpetrators and survivors of intimate partner violence. Plus she’s the author and illustrator of a children’s self-help book that helps teach kids concepts like honesty and assertiveness in age-appropriate language.
Yilmaz says, “People mostly lie because they feel that’s the only way to achieve acceptance and safety in themselves or from others.” She also notes that people often tell lies to avoid oppression, conflict, or confronting an uncomfortable or scary situation.
“We’re afraid of accepting emotional distress,” she says. “But usually, emotional distress is communication from our body telling us that things aren’t healthy or [are] even dangerous for our wellbeing. So, we try to ‘fake it,’ and [we] tell ourselves that as long as we’re functioning in our social and work roles, we have nothing to worry about.”

But lying can take its toll on our relationships. Before we know it, we may be caught in a web of lies and feel disconnected from others. “Lies hide the truth. Without truth, there is no real connection. Without connection, humans feel empty and alone,” says Yilmaz.

So, while “a little white lie” here and there may not significantly impact your relationships, telling them often may place a wedge between you and the people you care about.

What are things people constantly lie about every day?

Evy Poumpouras is a former secret service special agent to four U.S. presidents and an on-air national TV correspondent. Poumpouras says, “Everyone lies for different reasons, such as to avoid embarrassment, avoid going to jail, or maintain a certain social or professional status.” Since we know most of us are saying a few falsehoods on a fairly regular basis, what types of things are we lying about the most?

1. “I’m okay. Everything is okay.”

When someone asks you how you are doing, is “I’m okay. Everything is okay.” your most likely answer? An Australian study found that this lie was the number one untruth people told others. Why is that?
The purpose of this lie is usually for self-protection. Maybe you’re not comfortable with the person asking you the question. Or maybe you feel like that moment isn’t the time or the place to have a serious discussion about what’s going on in your life. Hopefully, you can set aside some time to be open with those closest to you if you’re not “okay.” Otherwise, your lie may drive you further away from people. As Yilmaz says, “Make sure the lie is worth the possibility of disconnection from the person being lied to.”

2. “I’m (insert number of your choice) years old.”

For both women and men, lying about your age seems to be a pretty common occurrence—one that is especially prevalent these days in the dating realm. Anna M., 30, has been in the online dating scene for several years. She’s been noticing more people blatantly lying about their ages on their profile. “Recently, I matched with a man whose profile said he was 42. After I read his bio closely, I noticed the very last line said, ‘I’m really 52.’”

Why are people lying about their age? Yilmaz says low self-esteem might compel a person to lie. Other reasons a person may fudge the truth a bit about their age is to project a particular image of themselves or gain the approval of others. Whatever the rationale, skirting around the truth is a very difficult way to live, and it’s bound to catch up with you.

3. “I had a lot of responsibilities at my previous job.”

According to a CareerBuilder survey, embellishing job responsibilities is the number one lie people tell on their resumes. Even though there’s immense pressure to stand out from the crowd,Vice President of Human Resources at CareerBuilder Rosemary Haefner stated: “Even the slightest embellishment can come back to haunt you and ruin your credibility.”

If you’re feeling insecure about your real job experiences, Haefner says, creating fictitious career descriptions isn’t the way to impress a potential employer. Instead, she says, “Use your cover letter strategically to tell your story, focusing on your strengths and accomplishments and explaining any areas of concern if needed.”

4. “It wasn’t that expensive.”

In the previously mentioned Australian study, this lie landed in the top 10 for both men and women. Why do so many people choose to be dishonest about the price of an item? Most likely, it’s to avoid judgment and scrutiny over their spending habits.

My wife and I don't buy each other gifts. We're adults. If we want something we get it…and then lie to the other about how much it cost.

— Dave Lesser (@AmateurIdiot) January 1, 2017

Many people want to control the perceptions others have of them, and they may not want their friends and family to dub them as “extravagant” or “lavish,” so they play down the amount of money they spend to dodge criticism.

But a newer study sheds a slightly different light on why people may also tell the occasional tale. Some people may lie due to the compassion they feel for others. This type of lie is called a “prosocial lie,” or a lie intended to benefit others. In the case of lying about an item’s price tag, a person may tell a prosocial lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings about what they can and can’t afford.

5. “We should talk soon.”

Translation: “The chances of us talking in the near future are pretty slim.” We’ve all probably said some version of this when we’ve bumped into someone we hadn’t seen for a while (either online or in-person) to avoid the awkward tension. However, we rarely follow through with that phone call. Sure, we’d like to stay in contact with people, but the truth is that we drift apart or get too busy to keep up with everyone. So isn’t stretching the truth a little justified now and then?
Yilmaz answers, “Life is unpredictable, and I don’t like to place solid rules on anything. You never know what kind of situation will come up to justify a white lie. But I remind everyone who tells a white lie that trust is a precious gift that can be easily lost.” In other words, if you’re looking to build trust in existing relationships or create new ones, lying is never your best bet.

Laying Down Lies

Do “little white lies” really hurt anyone? While it may be relatively benign on the surface, repeatedly being dishonest can eventually foster an environment where others begin to distrust you. To facilitate human connections, you need to create an atmosphere where open and honest communication is at the center of your relationships.
Yilmaz says honesty is the key to connection and mutual respect. If you’re willing to be vulnerable with people and embrace truthful living, you might discover that people like and accept you the way you are—as your most unguarded, authentic self.

Tags 50038066, hemingway, mind, social

Wellbeing

Health State To State: Why America’s Health Problems Are Nationwide

Post author By Heather Vecchioni
Post date February 13, 2018

The United Health Foundation recently released its annual list of the healthiest and unhealthiest states in the country for 2017.
The study looked at 35 core measures covering behaviors, community and environment, policy, clinical care, and outcomes data in order to make its decision.
The biggest shock in the study is that there really aren’t any big shocks. As you may have guessed, the states that average the highest incomes in the country are generally healthier than those that are less wealthy. Additionally, the northern states of the country fared much better than the South, as per usual. Just about the only big difference this year is that the healthiest state in the country for the past five years was knocked out of its slot and replaced by one that has a high drug overdose rate. Can you guess who it is?

The Healthiest States

These healthy states are no stranger to the healthy list, as they’ve all been here before. The only difference is their order.

Massachusetts

With its cold weather and delightful accent, Massachusetts was ranked No. 1 as the country’s healthiest state. Thanks to the lowest percentage of uninsured at 2.7 of the population and a low prevalence of obesity, the Bay State was able to knock Hawaii out of the top position.

The good health of the state likely has much to do with the amount of health professionals available to those who live there. The state has about 200 primary care physicians per every 100,000 people, as well as 80 dentists per 100,000 people.
Additionally, smoking in the state decreased from 18.2 percent of the population in 2012 to 13.6 percent in 2017, resulting in a 25 percent drop. Additionally, the percentage of children in poverty has decreased from 38 percent to 11 percent, over the last two years.

But even the healthiest state in the country isn’t without some issues. According to the report, Massachusetts experienced a 69 percent increase in fatal drug overdoses since 2012. West Virginia, New Hampshire, Kentucky, Ohio, and Rhode Island have also experienced significant increases over the last few years in fatal drug overdoses as well. The state also has a high preventable hospitalization rate, as well as large disparities in health status due to education.

Hawaii

For the past five years, Hawaii was known as the country’s healthiest state. This year, it came in second. Known for its amazing beaches and picturesque outdoor scene, it makes sense that a state with this much access to the great outdoors is healthy, but the food available also plays a major part, says Hawaii-based nutritional coach Chelsea Newman.

“The weather, the surf, and the Aloha spirit all play a part, but in truth, Hawaii has the most expensive food in the United States, and the highest cost of living so it really contradicts the ‘poverty’ blame that often comes along with unhealthy eating,” says Newman. “But generally, here, people really take pride in living close to the earth, supporting local farmers, and they make a big fuss of food. Plus, we’re in bikinis all year round; that definitely helps you be healthy.”

The cost of food greatly affects the quality of nutrition a person receives. As such, people who don’t have a lot of money to spend on food tend to go for what is cheaper, and, typically, unhealthy.
According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, when income levels decrease, the amount of healthy foods purchased does as well. For instance, high-quality proteins, whole grains, vegetables, and fruit are purchased less often and replaced with low-cost, energy-rich starches, added sugars, and vegetable fats as they are the cheapest way to fill hungry stomachs.

And although Newman agrees that poverty levels definitely play a role in the types of foods purchased, she believes that buying healthy food may be more economical than most think.
“Learning how to store food properly, eat simply, and eat real food is the key,” she says. “If Hawaii is known as the (formerly) healthiest state and we have the second-most expensive bread in the world, the fifth-most expensive tomatoes, and the most expensive toilet paper in the world, then you can throw the whole notion out the window that you need tons of money to eat healthy.”

And, of course, it helps that Hawaii is known for its warm temperatures and gorgeous scenery, which make getting outside to engage in physical activity that much easier, she says.
“Weather plays a major part in it; in Hawaii we can get outside all year long,” says Newman. “However, even in really snowy states, there are outdoor activities, but SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is definitely a factor. Vitamin D makes people happier, healthier, and much more likely to have energy.”

The Unhealthiest States

Unfortunately, not every state in the country has the same kind of access to outdoor activity, quality healthcare, and affordable, healthy food. As such, states that are affected the most by this are commonly found in the unhealthy category.

Mississippi

Mississippi was ranked as the least-healthiest state in the nation in the report. A variety of factors contributed to the state’s unhealthy ranking, including the lack of accessible healthcare. For instance, Mississippi has fewer than 45 dentists for every 100,000 people. Compare that to Massachusetts and New Jersey, two of the healthiest states in the country, which have more than 80 dentists per every 100,000. You can see where this lack of dental care could make a difference.

Mississippi also has a large obese population at 37.3 percent, as well as many children in poverty. These factors can make living healthy in an area that doesn’t have many healthy options extremely difficult.

Louisiana

The tendency for citizens of Louisiana to engage in unhealthy activities is one of the reasons why it was ranked as the second most unhealthy state in the nation. Like Mississippi, smoking, poverty, and obesity play a factor in the health of those who live there.
“Louisiana is the second highest state for obesity, has a high amount of tobacco users and sugar-sweetened beverage drinkers, combined with lower physical activity levels,” says Louisiana-based registered dietician and diabetes educator Lanah Brennan. “With this, there are higher rates of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer in Louisiana.”
Brennan also believes that the lower income level of those who live in Louisiana plays a factor in their health.

“People with lower income often have less access to fruits and vegetables and are more likely to purchase inexpensive foods that are high in added sugars and fat,” she says. “They also may be more likely to skip meals and overeat when food is available.”
Generally speaking, the South is typically less healthy than the North. A variety of factors can play into this, but for Brennan, it’s all about income and the hot weather.

“The southern states have a lot in common when it comes to poverty levels, rich foods, tobacco use, hot summers, and lack of physical activity,” she says. And when you add the vibrant food culture of the state, you can have a recipe for disaster.

“It is hard not to think about festivals and rich foods like gumbo and jambalaya in Louisiana,” she says. “The norm for food portion sizes is large and there, physical activity is not always a priority. Hot, humid summers in Louisiana make it difficult for many residents to get regular physical activity outdoors.”

Why is the United States riddled with health issues?

You may have noticed that when it comes to health, the United States is lacking compared to other countries in the world. The quality of mental and physical health is poor as people are less able to pay for doctor visits and healthcare, author Roberto A. Ferdman wrote in the Washington Post.
But food also plays a pivotal role in the health of the country, and it is only making it worse for itself, says Newman.

“It is so clear to me that people don’t understand how to eat properly, but it’s not their fault,” she says. “The United States government has terrible standards for nutrition. So when you raise families like this, not close to growing food, not close to nature, and not understanding what real food is, then you have a massive problem.”
Newman also believes that the lack of a healthy food culture in the United States makes eating more about filling up on those empty calories than it is about spending time with those who are important to you, which can make choosing unhealthy food easier. Instead of enjoying meals with friends and family and taking time to select healthy and natural ingredients, Americans usually reach for what is fast and cheap, which is typically unhealthy.

“I grew up in the UK, and food had a very different meaning than in the United States,” says Newman. “We had big roast dinners with the family and the neighbors, home-cooked meals at school, and Hawaii has a lot of those values around food as well. We have a beautiful melting pot of cuisines and culture around food within the United States, but the states don’t have an overarching culture for food.”

“Cultural food traditions are a beautiful thing, even if they tend to be a bit unhealthy, but what we have now is a boxed food culture, and that’s not really even food that is just a science experiment resulting in a lot of money for some big wigs in suits who really don’t care about the health of people.”
“It is a huge problem that I see in moving forward for the United States in the battle for healthy food.”

Tags 50038021, body, hemingway, social

Happy Home Lifestyle

How Feng Shui Works (And How It Doesn't) According To Science

Post author By HealthyWay Staff Writer
Post date February 13, 2018

Not happy with your home? Blame your chi.
That’s the basic reasoning behind feng shui, a Chinese philosophy that advocates cultivating harmony with your environment. Essentially, feng shui practitioners believe that every object and person has an energy—known as chi or qi—and that properly organizing your surroundings can allow your energy to flow more effectively.
That’s where the name “feng shui” comes from; it roughly translates to “wind and water.” The philosophy claims that different directions have different elements associated with them, and by managing the flow of your chi effectively, you can live a calmer, happier lifestyle.

Of course, there’s no scientific evidence to support the spiritual claims of feng shui. Scientists haven’t found a chi in any laboratory experiments, and while organizing your surroundings can certainly improve your productivity, the effects are somewhat limited.

Its almost spring, which means spring cleaning. Stop hoarding items in your room, donate your clothes you don’t use, do a little feng shui, buy some flowers, be happy.

— ✨ (@itzeeladrianaaa) February 11, 2018

Still, feng shui has been around for thousands of years. Surely there’s some value in it, right? We spoke with several feng shui experts and self-proclaimed psychics to find out.

Claim 1: Choose the right color for your front door to complement your chi.

An article on The Spruce suggests choosing a color for your home’s front door to maximize the positive energy flowing through it. A south-facing door, for instance, should be red, since the direction signifies fire in traditional feng shui. A door that faces the west draws its power from metal, so homeowners should use white or grey.

Unfortunately, there’s no science to back this up. Color can certainly affect moods, so if you paint your door green, you might feel slightly refreshed when you walk through it, but different colors affect people very differently.
“[Color perception] is very much based on culture,” Dustin York, an associate professor at Maryville University who specializes in nonverbal communication, tells HealthyWay. “Here in the United States, black is usually seen as a negative connotations. With other cultures, black is actually seen as a positive, clean color, almost like white is for people in the West. You will definitely see changes within cultures.”
There’s certainly something to be said for choosing colors carefully, but don’t expect any mystical energy to flow through your front door.

Claim 2: Bedroom organization can affect your energy levels throughout the day.

“To spread the good vibes or chi, you need the bed positioned as far away from the door as possible or diagonally from the door,” says Adam, head interior designer at Decorelo (he didn’t provide his last name). “Do not position in line with the door or too much chi will flow towards the bed.”

We’re skeptical of that claim (sorry, Adam), but we could understand how putting a bed right next to a door could make a room appear somewhat cramped. We couldn’t find any research that looked at bed placement relative to bedroom doors (somehow, nobody’s funding that research).

If you notice a drop in positive vibes from your life, my apologies for stealing them. I’m about to Feng Shui my bedroom.

— Paolo Mateo Mojica (@paolommojica) February 12, 2018

However, we’re on board with this next bit:
“It is important that there is a gap under the bed to let the energy circulate around you while you have a good night’s sleep. Keeping the bedroom tidy and uncluttered should keep any negative vibes away, also.”
While we’re not strong believers in “energy,” air flow can certainly help to prevent dust and mold from accumulating on a mattress. If you can’t find a cheap frame, sleep blog Sleep Advisor recommends cleaning your floor and mattress regularly.

We should also note that our feng shui expert is absolutely correct about clutter. A study from the American Academy of Sleep showed that people who sleep in extremely untidy bedrooms may be at risk for developing sleep disorders.
The key word there is “extreme,” as the study focused on people with mild to moderate hoarding problems, but it still demonstrates the importance of a clean, organized bedroom.
The takeaway: If you want to stay productive, stay organized. Our other feng shui experts agreed with that assessment.

“In feng shui, the clutter symbolizes the unfinished work, so just remove every item without a practical purpose or those which don’t contribute to the overall look of the place,” says Lauryn Haynes, a home organizing expert at Star Domestic Cleaners in London.
That sounds perfectly reasonable to us.

Claim 3: Spread salt around your house and sing.

“Spread sea salt around the house and leave it for the next 24 hours to absorb the negative energy, then vacuum it all away singing joyful songs,” says feng shui expert and author Milana Perepyolkina. “Open all windows and go around the house clapping your hands, moving the negative energy out of the windows and inviting positive energy in through the doors.”

Okay, we’re aware that this one sounds unorthodox, but science backs up Perepyolkina’s suggestions—just not the reasoning behind her suggestions.
Salt might not actually absorb negative energy, per se, but it’s fairly good at absorbing some odors. To take you back to high school chemistry class, a salt is an acid combined with a base, and table salt (sodium chloride) is relatively pH-neutral. When salt contacts the chemical compounds that cause odors, it sometimes helps to break those compounds up and reduce their acidity, neutralizing the smell. The vacuuming certainly helps. We’d classify nasty odors as “bad energy,” so we’re on board with that part of Perepyolkina’s advice.

As for “singing joyful songs,” that sounds ridiculous, but it’s actually a pretty decent suggestion. A 2004 study showed that singers have lower levels of cortisol—a stress hormone—than the control group.
However, there’s a catch: The study looked at group singers, so to get the best possible effect, you’ll want to get a friend to sing with you.

Claim 4: Talk to your pillow before you go to sleep.

“Trust me on this,” says Perepyolkina, “your possessions absorb good energy and then share it with you while you sleep.”

We really like her attitude, but sadly, we could not find any research that supports this idea. While you’re certainly free to engage in some pillow talk, you’d spend your time more effectively by researching pillows. One study showed that certain pillows can contribute to sleep disorders and advised using latex pillows to limit arm and spinal pain.
To give Perepyolkina the benefit of the doubt, talking to a pillow could be seen as a form of meditation. That’s certainly a helpful practice; numerous studies show that mindfulness meditation can fight insomnia and improve the overall quality of sleep.

Claim 5: Clean your windows to improve your perspective.

“The windows symbolize your eyes looking at the world,” says Haynes. “Clean windows can help you see things clearly, while dirty ones can only limit your perspective. Grab some old newspaper and a mixture of white vinegar and water, and voila.”

Again, we don’t disagree with the advice, just the reasoning behind the advice. We’re not sure about windows symbolizing perspective, but they do let in daylight. One study showed that office workers report better overall health and fewer sleep disturbances when they have access to a window during work hours.
Researchers believe that daylight inhibits melatonin production, which allows for a healthy sleep cycle. To stay happy and healthy, you’d better keep your windows clean—and Haynes is right to recommend old newspapers and white vinegar. Newspapers are made with soft, densely packed fibers that pick up dust without leaving behind streaks.

Of course, newspaper subscriptions are dwindling in the United States. If you don’t have any old newspapers laying around, you can simply grab a high-quality microfiber cloth.

Claim 6: Cover your bedroom TV with fabric.

“The active energy of the TV has active energy which can be really disruptive to your sleep and the overall mood of the bedroom,” says Haynes. “You can simply cover it up with a beautiful fabric when not in use.”
Once again, while we’re skeptical about the “energy” talk, we can support this suggestion with good, hard science. A 2009 study from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine showed that television watching is an important determinant of sleep quality. People who watch more television tend to sleep worse, particularly if they watch TV around bedtime.

@LauraAshleyUK #MakeandDecorate Left over laura ashley fabric makes a lovely cover to hide the tv when entertaining pic.twitter.com/jZwfFJmtPi

— Nicola Andrews (@andrews_nj) September 13, 2015

There’s also a growing body of research indicating that certain wavelengths of blue light can diminish sleep quality by messing with your body’s production of melatonin (that sleep hormone we mentioned earlier). Watch a stressful television show, and your body will produce hormones like cortisol, which certainly won’t help your cause.
Putting a piece of fabric in front of your television might conceivably stop you from using it as often since you’ll be less likely to walk across the room to remove the fabric when you could simply reach for a book. Just make sure not to substitute your phone, laptop, or tablet for your TV, as any of those items could cause similar sleep disturbances.

We should note that feng shui isn’t a religion.

Its practitioners approach its fundamental beliefs in different ways. Some see it as a simple way to organize more efficiently, while some designers take the whole “chi” thing to heart. Some feng shui adherents will undoubtedly disagree with some of the suggestions in this list, and some will adamantly insist that we’re incorrect in approaching this ancient philosophy with science.
Our goal isn’t to paint the philosophy as ridiculous, but only to show that when the mystical advice works, there’s generally a practical, scientific reason. When the advice doesn’t work, it’s not because of an imbalance of chi; it’s because your interior designer didn’t quite connect the dots.

Tags 50038336, balance, hemingway, social

Motherhood

Try As You Might: Childproofing Mistakes Parents Can't Help But Make

Post author By HealthyWay Staff Writer
Post date February 9, 2018

Childproofing your home? Unfortunately, you’re probably making a few mistakes.

That’s not to say those mistakes result from poor efforts. If you’re like many parents, the childproofing process started right when your child started crawling. You secured your cabinets, covered sharp corners, picked up covers for all of your outlets, and took other essential steps to childproof your house. You thought carefully about every potential danger, purchased the most expensive products you could find, and made to pay close attention during every playtime.
Yet accidental injuries are the still the leading cause of fatality among children, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Many of these accidents occur in the home, and many are preventable.
[pullquote align=”center”]”Our adult world is designed around convenience, and there’s never been a convenient baby.”
—Peter Kerin[/pullquote]
Childproofing is an expensive, time-consuming process, but even when you’re careful, it’s easy to make costly mistakes. But by changing your approach, you can effectively ensure your child’s safety (while eliminating a major source of stress).
We spoke with Peter Kerin, a Minnesota childproofing expert and owner of Foresight Childproofing, to learn about some of the common missteps that parents make when taking on their first childproofing projects. For instance…

1. Using pressure-mounted gates without reading the directions.

The first step that most parents take when childproofing their homes: installing gates. It’s a good impulse, but Kerin says that some of the most common gates simply aren’t up to the task.

“The biggest mistake that people make when trying to childproof is that they use a pressure-mounted gate at the top of stairs,” Kerin says. “First of all, any pressure-mounted gate has special restraining caps that you’re supposed to screw in.”
Many parents don’t install those extra screws, which creates an obvious safety hazard; a child leaning against the gate could dislodge it, causing a serious accident. And even when they’re properly installed, pressure-mounted gates are designed for convenience, which isn’t always a good thing.

“Some gates swing in both directions,” Kerin adds. “You never want a gate that opens towards the stairs.”
Hardware gates can be safer, and while they require a more involved installation, Kerin says that they’re well worth the extra effort. The Consumer Product Safety Commission agrees, noting that at the top of staircases, parents should only use gates that screw directly into the wall.

2. Getting childproofing “hacks” off of social media sites.

We know, we know; we love life hacks as much as the next online publication. We’ve even employed a few childproofing hacks in our own homes. But according to the experts, that’s not such a great idea.
“People are starting from a positive place,” Kerin says. “Parents go to Pinterest and they see these childproofing ‘hacks,’ so they want to try them out. Unfortunately, so many of them are not appropriate. They actually introduce dangers.”
[pullquote align=”center”]”Most of the traditional foam padding, children pull off, to be honest. The simple solution for childproofing a coffee table is to put it in the basement.”
—Peter Kerin[/pullquote]
Kerin says that, as a rule of thumb, anything you use to childproof your home should be made specifically for that purpose. While you might have trouble finding time to run to the store while raising your child, you should make the time—don’t just rely on things you find around the house.
“For instance, [parents might] take pipe insulation, which you can buy at Home Depot, and use that to cover hard corners,” Kerin says. “Well, the kids pull it off, and children are known for being oral; anything they have access to, they’re going to put in their mouths.”

“You need something that isn’t a choking hazard. Something that adheres well, and doesn’t give much of a gripping profile, so that kids can’t get a hold of it easy.”
Even when properly installed, childproofing corner guards aren’t a perfect solution. Kerin has another suggestion for keeping kids safe: Don’t expose them to those corners in the first place.
“Most of the traditional foam padding, children pull off, to be honest,” Kerin says. “The simple solution for childproofing a coffee table is to put it in the basement.”

3. Using hair ties to keep children from invading cabinets.

This is an understandable mistake; you’ve got dozens of hair ties sitting around, and they seem to get the job done. Wrap a few of those around your cabinet handles, and you’re good to go, right? Not quite.

“Some kids will figure those out pretty quickly,” Kerin says. “The best solution are magnetic cabinet locks. They’re a little more expensive, and they take a couple of days to get used to, but they provide so much more safety than any other option.”

Many magnetic locking systems install in seconds, and yes, they’re fairly stylish. With that said, your first priority is to find something that works, not to impress visitors with your chic decor.

“People put fashion in front of function,” Kerin says, “but these are common-sense precautions. Always prioritize safety over style or convenience.”

4. Installing the baby monitor right next to the crib.

“Parents need to take the monitor off of the side of the crib,” Kerin says. “Children can’t have access to that power cord. It’s an easy fix that doesn’t cost you any money.”
A study from Childproofingexperts.com showed that 60 percent of baby monitors are installed within three feet of the crib, potentially within grasping distance for a curious baby. More disturbingly, 80 percent of those baby monitors had visible warning labels, which implies that parents simply aren’t reading the instructions.

Why would parents make this mistake? They’re likely not thinking from an infant’s perspective.
“Every parent has been an adult longer than they’ve been a parent,” Kerin says. “Our adult world is designed around convenience, and there’s never been a convenient baby.”

5. Not thinking ahead.

Before tackling a childproofing project, make sure you’ve got the right perspective.
“Let’s take the wide-view on this: Parents just need to be aware of their child’s development,” Kerin says. “They need to be looking six months down the road, if not a year or two.”

In other words, if your child just started crawling, your home should be prepared for their first steps. While that might seem like overkill, kids develop quickly, and they don’t wait for parents to catch up.
“Fathers will often tell me, ‘Oh, she’s not doing that.’ Well, no, she’s 7 months old! But they develop like little superheroes. Before you know it, they’re tall enough to reach the counter. You want to be proactive, not reactive.”

“What might be adequate for a crawling 7-month-old might by wholly inadequate for a 12-month old. Anything you look at to provide safety, it’s important that it serves its purpose for the duration of your need. For most children, that’s [up to] 3 years and beyond.”
That might seem overwhelming to new parents, but the good news is that you’ll have peace of mind throughout your child’s development.
“The unexpected benefit is it makes parenting easier,” Kerin says. “You don’t have to be as stressed out. You don’t have to be that hovering parent chastising them for their innate curiosity. Just be willing to embrace a small amount of inconvenience for the child’s safety and the parent’s peace of mind.”

6. Relying on outdated childproofing information.

“At a pediatrician’s office, I saw a brochure warning parents to childproof their telephone cables,” Kerin says. “But really, who has telephone cables anymore? It’s not bad advice, but it shows that there’s a lot of irrelevant information out there.”

Make sure that you’re taking your advice from a qualified childproofing resource (or better yet, several resources).
We’re not excluding our own publication from this rule, by the way. While we researched this piece thoroughly, we still recommend visiting the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services for an accurate, up-to-date childproofing checklist.
Not sure whether you’re doing something correctly? When in doubt, you can always call a professional. Kerin says that he’s always happy to answer parents’ questions, and organizations like the International Association for Child Safety exist solely for that purpose.

7. Trying to perfectly childproof an entire home.

In writing this piece, we’re not trying to scare parents into hiring professionals—and neither is Kerin, for that matter. We also can’t detail every single childproofing mistake, simply because the process differs for every household.
[pullquote align=”center”]”When your child is born, that’s one of the best times in a parent’s life. I want parents to enjoy it.”
—Peter Kerin[/pullquote]
The important takeaway is that childproofing is a big job that requires plenty of planning. There is, however, one crucial point to keep in mind: You don’t have to childproof everything.
“Parents, try to identify neutral areas,” Kerin says. “You don’t have to paint the whole home with the same brush.”
You can allow children to explore those neutral areas on their own, and if you’ve done your job, you’ll have peace of mind.

“[Parents] will sometimes look at me and say, ‘I watch my child constantly,'” Kerin says. “My best response is, ‘No you don’t.’ And if you’re attempting that—as well-intended as that is, it’s misguided to think that that’s possible over the course of a child’s development. And it’d be stressful to try.”
The good news: When you’ve set up neutral areas properly, the hard work is done. It is, of course, quite a bit of work, but ultimately, you can relax.
“When your child is born, that’s one of the best times in a parent’s life,” Kerin says. “I want parents to enjoy it.”

Tags social