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Motherhood

Maternal Healthcare: How Far Have We Come, And Where Are We Headed?

In 2012, Heather Beckius developed gestational diabetes while pregnant. Like other forms of diabetes, gestational diabetes affects cells’ ability to utilize glucose properly. The condition can lead to elevated levels of blood sugar, which can impact the health of both the mother and the baby, according to the Mayo Clinic.
Since she had this condition, the doctor performed a nonstress test—a simple procedure completed during pregnancy to evaluate the baby’s health. During the test, the fetal heart rate kept dropping. The doctor followed up the nonstress test with an ultrasound, which showed a sizable spot on the unborn baby’s brain.
The spot would later be identified as a brain bleed or a stroke. Although Beckius was going through a very challenging situation, she says, “All of the doctors were very supportive. They tried to prepare me for the very worst—my baby not surviving—and, at the same time, they told me that the brains in babies have a great tendency to rewire themselves.”
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Thankfully, Beckius’s story has a happy ending—she gave birth to a “miracle” baby boy. But the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy underscore the importance of the accessibility of maternal healthcare, from prenatal to postnatal, so that all mothers can receive the quality of care they require and reduce the risk of pregnancy-related complications.

What is maternal health?

The World Health Organization defines maternal health as “the health of a woman during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period.”
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For many women, pregnancy and childbirth are a joyous and anticipatory experience. For others, however, this period can be marked with adversity, mental or physical health issues, and worst case scenarios—even in the United States. In fact, WHO reports:

  • From 1990 through 2013, the maternal mortality rate in the U.S. increased from approximately 12 to 28 per 100,000 births.
  • Currently, the United States has a maternal mortality rate higher than other high-income countries and countries like Iran, Libya, and Turkey.
  • Nearly half of all maternal fatalities in the U.S. are avoidable.
  • Approximately 1,200 women in the U.S. experience fatal complications during pregnancy or childbirth each year.
  • Each year, almost 60,000 women endure complications that are near-fatal.
  • Data from 2012 showed the upward trajectory of maternal complications and the mortality rate continued—even though the U.S. spent more than $60 billion on maternity care.

With that said, modern developments in maternal healthcare give women a much brighter outlook than they had in years past. Figures collected by Our World in Data show that the U.S.’ maternal mortality rate didn’t fall below 400-in-100,000 until 1940.

How was maternal medicine practiced back when?

Mary Jane Minkin, MD, a clinical professor in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Sciences at Yale and a private practice physician in New Haven, Connecticut, began medical school at the Yale School of Medicine in 1971. She delivered her first baby during her obstetrics rotation in 1973. With more than four decades of experience with women throughout pregnancy and childbirth, Minkin has seen some changes in maternal healthcare.
Minkin says the first significant advancements for obstetrics, gynecology, and maternal health occurred in the early 1970s. One of the primary areas of progress Minkin mentions is in early pregnancy detection. “When I started medical school, we literally had to wait for the rabbit to die to see if someone was pregnant,” she recalls.
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The phrase “the rabbit died” was created between the 1920s and ’30s. To see if a woman was pregnant, physicians would inject urine from their patient into a rabbit. If the urine contained the pregnancy hormone hCG, it would cause the rabbit to ovulate and verify if a woman was pregnant.
Unfortunately, this method came at a tremendous cost to the rabbits—their lives! The rabbit’s ovaries couldn’t be seen without an autopsy or surgery to remove the ovaries; the latter was typically deemed a waste of effort. Eventually, this practice was replaced with home test kits like First Response, which allows a woman to tell if she’s pregnant six days before her missed period.
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Another area Minkin cites as one of concern during her early years at Yale was with fetal well-being and the lack of imaging to assess fetal health. These pressing matters helped form the “backdrop for maternal and child health changes,” she says.
Through the decades, the technological developments have led to the invention of fetal monitoring, which allows for the fetal heart rate to be monitored during labor and delivery to determine the condition of the baby.
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Additionally, breakthroughs in ultrasound technology have given clinicians the ability to view the placenta in all locations and positions, diagnose fetal abnormalities more quickly, and provide expectant parents a real-time, color image of the fetus in 3D/4D. Furthermore, advances in amniocentesis created a minimally-invasive procedure for doctors to test for chromosomal abnormalities, fetal lung health, and infections.


These are a few of the ways in which maternal healthcare was practiced in the last four decades and how it has made strides.

What are some ways healthcare providers are working to improve a woman’s experience with pregnancy and beyond?

There’s a growing trend to provide expectant mothers with a comprehensive birthing experience. Vice Chief Medical Officer Michael Moxley, MD, and Department Chair of OB-GYN Miguel Fernandez, MD, are professors at Georgetown University School of Medicine and physicians at Virginia Hospital Center. One way medicine is working to improve maternal health is through a multidisciplinary approach to care.
“We have sought to become more collaborative with our colleagues. Traditionally, medicine has been siloed, with each group acting independently,” Moxley and Fernandez say. “Now, at VHC, we work in teams that include not only doctors and nurses, but administration and, most importantly, patients.”
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Besides a more collaborative approach to maternal health, Moxley and Fernandez say medicine is taking cues from the field of aviation to reduce errors. Medical flight simulations, so to speak.
“In the last 10 years, we have started regularly practicing to react for emergencies that rarely happen so that we are better prepared and have better outcomes when the time comes,” they stated.
Furthermore, Moxley and Fernandez aim to cut down on unnecessary C-sections, which increase the maternal risk of having complications during childbirth.
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“The statistics indicate after the first C-section, repeat births will be done via C-section 90 percent of the time. Since the risk of complications increases with C-sections, we want to make sure that the C-section is medically needed,” they say. “We follow the guidelines that were created in 2014 by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists—the guideline that made the biggest change was allowing more time for the labor to progress.”
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Regarding how healthcare providers are working to enhance a woman’s maternal experience, Minkin furthers the conversation by stating, “The most important advances in maternal and child health actually pertain to getting ready for pregnancy. We know that smoking [and substance use] … are very toxic to the fetus. So we encourage all of our patients to stop taking drugs, stop drinking … , and stop smoking before pregnancy, or limit these as best as possible.”
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Additionally, Minkin acknowledges that women with chronic medical conditions—either mental or physical—have better outcomes when they have the opportunity to carefully plan their pregnancies. To illustrate an example, she says, “If a woman has high blood pressure, she should meet with her primary care provider to make sure she has her blood pressure well-controlled and is not taking certain drugs that are bad for babies.”
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“Also, we know that if a woman is diabetic, her baby will do much better if mom’s blood sugars are in excellent control before she gets pregnant. A pre-pregnancy meeting with an obstetrician is ideal before a woman conceives to maximize her healthy outcomes.”
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Finally, Minkin emphasizes the importance of addressing a woman’s mental health needs throughout her pregnancy. “These days, all women are screened during pregnancy for depression and hooked up with a mental healthcare provider before delivery to minimize the chances of postpartum depression,” she says. “We do know that certain antidepressants are safe to use during pregnancy, and some of these may be prescribed if the woman is suffering from depression.”

Advice and Tips

Although maternal healthcare in the U.S. still has obstacles to overcome, particularly in its accessibility to all women, these are a few tips women can follow to prepare for a safe childbirth and develop a strong patient-doctor relationship:

  • Look for a physician who will seek to meet your needs. If you’re unhappy with your current doctor, don’t be afraid to try another one—either within the same practice or a different one. Wherever you go, it’s important you feel heard and valued as a patient.
  • If you have pre-existing health conditions, work with your doctor to get those under control before, during, and after pregnancy.
  • Your doctor may offer you lifestyle, supplement (like prenatal vitamins), or exercise recommendations. Try to be as compliant as possible with these recommendations.
  • If you’re considering a midwife or doula, our experts suggest using a hospital that has midwives or doulas as a part of their birthing team. Or find a doctor who is willing to work with them to give you and your baby the best care possible.
  • “One thing that I strongly recommend is that women don’t take advice from a celebrity about medical health just because she is a celebrity,” Minkin says. “You hear all sorts of crazy things put out by folks who really don’t know any medicine!” Instead, focus on creating a reliable social network, so when you have the baby, you have the support you need.
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Motherhood

Spicy Food Doesn't Induce Labor (And Other Pregnancy Myths Busted)

Throughout their terms, pregnant women get overwhelmed with information. They hear advice from their doctors, of course, but also family members, friends—even people on the street will stop a pregnant woman to give them their two cents. It’s the most natural thing in the world, they say. You’re eating for two, they exclaim. So, how can mothers-to-be separate fact from fiction?
It isn’t easy. Pregnancy does have plenty of strange side effects. Did you know, for instance, that being pregnant can cause your gums to bleed? It can. Pregnancy hormones cause increased blood flow, which in turn increases your susceptibility to gingivitis. The American Pregnancy Association recommends diligent oral care during women’s terms.
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And have you heard that pregnancy actually does make your feet grow? A study in the American Journal of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation showed that pregnancy tends to flatten the arches of your feet, making them wider and longer, according to Medical News Today‘s review of the study. Sadly, this doesn’t go away once the baby is born: The arch is often permanently flattened. Pregnant women should wear low-heeled, soft shoes with proper arch supports to combat these changes, wrote John M. Sigle, a doctor of podiatric medicine, for Herald & Review.
So when pregnancy has so many strange and true side effects, it’s easy to see why a pregnancy rookie would accept anything their mother, or a random passerby, tells them. But there is plenty of misinformation out there. You’ll hear it from well-meaning, misinformed peers; you’ll see it in advertisements and on movie screens.
If you’re expecting, or if you’re just curious about the life of a mother-to-be, here are some pregnancy myths to pay no mind.

Myth: Spicy food—or any food—induces labor.

Though an overdue woman would love to pop a jalapeño and go into labor, it just doesn’t work that way. Eliza Ross, MD, OB-GYN, of the Cleveland Clinic said that there’s no evidence that spicy food causes labor. “It might give you heartburn,” she wrote, “but it won’t bring baby into the world any sooner.”
Still, some restaurants have gotten famous based on their supposedly labor-inducing foods—even if they aren’t spicy. In a 2007 article, fact-checking site Snopes provided six examples of eateries that, willingly or not, earned reputations for pushing babies along. Some served hot wings, others served Italian food.

In 2017, Scalini’s, an Atlanta-based Italian restaurant mentioned in the Snopes piece, claimed that their eggplant parmesan has “helped more than 1,000 women go into labor,” according to Today. Women who go into labor 48 hours after leaving the establishment get a Scalini’s gift card and a space on the wall for their baby’s photo.
But since Scalini’s, and restaurants like it, attract overdue women, the correlation is likely due to coincidence, not causation. “If you were to chart the results of a group of [overdue] women,” reads the Snopes piece, “you’d find that a great many of them would give birth to their children within a day or so no matter what they ate or did, with almost all of the rest delivering no more than two or three days after that.”
That said, it seems Robert Bogino, the owner of Scalini’s, understands that it’s all in fun. “Of course,” he told Today, “you have to believe a little bit, too.”

Myth: It’s the most natural thing in the world.

In regards to pregnancy and breastfeeding, mothers will often hear a familiar refrain: “It’s the most natural thing in the world.”
It makes sense, too. Biologically, pregnancy—during and after—is about as natural as it gets. But it turns out that the experience is anything but.
Maryann Davidson, a mother of three, says that though pregnancy may technically be a “natural” process, it feels entirely foreign for the mother-to-be.
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“I certainly wasn’t accustomed to feeling nauseous at all times of the day and night; having my moods swing wildly without warning; putting on weight which wasn’t caused by excessive overeating; having a wriggling, jumping, growing baby inside me which was part of me yet already completely independent.”
Then there’s birth itself. Many women get epidurals, are hooked up to IVs, or need to have emergency cesarean sections. There’s nothing wrong with any of that—in fact, the global maternal mortality rate has declined significantly in modern times—but it’s not what most people would call “natural.”
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Even if a mom chooses to have a natural birth (a birth without any medication or surgery), the feeling will still be completely foreign. Sure, she can read about how it will feel or ask other mothers to share their experience, but nothing can prepare her for the moment itself.
Though the process of pregnancy is completely natural, it’s one of the most unnatural, crazy experiences an individual will ever go through.

Myth: Morning sickness stops after the first trimester.

Morning sickness is very common. Most women experience it as some point early in their pregnancies, but they’re often told that it stops after the first trimester.
“Is it? Is it?” asks Davidson. “Well, my body must not have read that particular instruction, as I continued to suffer from this particular affliction well into the second trimester.”
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She’s not alone. Though most women see their morning sickness symptoms subside after 12 weeks, the American Pregnancy Association says that up to 20 percent of women experience it throughout their pregnancy—this severe form of the illness is called hyperemesis gravidarum, which can require hospitalization.
To combat average, first-trimester morning sickness, pregnant women can eat frequent, small meals and sip on fluids throughout the day, according to the American Pregnancy Association. Even hyperemesis gravidarum is treatable—the Hyperemesis Education and Research Foundation lists medication and nutritional treatment as effective options—and usually doesn’t cause much of a risk to the baby. But it’s surely unpleasant for the mom.

Myth: You can’t eat seafood.

Most women think that all seafood is completely off limits during their pregnancy, but according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, you can enjoy specific sea treats even when you’re with child.
The warning does have some truth to it. The FDA urges women to avoid fish with high mercury contents—bigeye tuna, shark, marlin, and king mackerel, for instance. They recommend against sushi, too, because of uncooked fish’s higher chance of carrying parasites.

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U.S. Food and Drug Administration

But other fish? Eat up! Salmon, shrimp, tilapia, and cod are among the 30-plus fish that the FDA recommends pregnant women eat two to three servings of weekly. There are nearly 20 fish they recommend pregnant women have one serving of weekly.

Myth: You’re eating for two!

Want an extra slice of pizza or four? Well, eat up, say purveyors of this myth, because you’ve got to get in all those extra calories to help the baby grow.
Sadly, this isn’t entirely true. OB-GYN nurse practitioner Emily Silver recommends that women only need around 300 extra calories a day to support their pregnancy. “To put it in perspective, that’s about equivalent to a bowl of cereal,” says Silver. (According to MyFitnessPal, a bowl of Cheerios with whole milk is 203 calories, so let’s say you have a second helping.)
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She’s not far off from The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics‘ recommendation, which says women in their second trimester should eat 340 extra calories, and women in their third trimester should eat about 450 extra calories. More, sure, but not double.
Though it’s totally okay to want to pig out when you’re pregnant (pregnancy cravings are not a myth), you don’t actually need another human’s worth to keep your baby safe. What’s most important is what you eat: Pregnant women should eat fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and healthy protein, and drink low-fat, calcium and vitamin D rich liquids, recommends the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. So if you think that pint of ice cream will help the baby, you might want to think again.

Myth: You’ll know when you’re going into labor.

Shauna Armitage has three kids and a special hatred for this myth. Over and over again, she heard people tell new moms to “listen to your body” or “you’ll know what to do” when it came to labor…but Armitage found the opposite to be true.
Armitage says that everything hurts, especially late in pregnancy, and it’s hard to discern your pain’s meaning. Is that pain the beginning of labor, or is it just some random pain from having a growing baby inside of you? You almost never know.
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Labor comes in two stages: early and active. According to health care organization Kaiser Permanente, you shouldn’t go to the hospital until you’re in active labor.
Early labor has inconsistent contractions, and they’re typically less painful. Also, early labor can last for days! So if you go to the hospital too early, you could be asked to go home and wait it out.
Active labor doesn’t start until your contractions are three to four minutes apart and last for about a minute a piece. That’s when they go from moderately painful to insanely painful.
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Still, as a pregnancy rookie, it can be hard to judge how painful your contractions are. Often, moms confuse their ordinary “a child is growing in my belly” pain for contraction pain, which makes labor even more confounding.
In the end, it’s all confusing, and Armitage insists that you almost never “just know” when it’s time to have the baby.
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Of course, if you’re experiencing extreme pain—and if it’s extreme to you, it is extreme—contact your doctor. Even if it turns out to be nothing, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Myth: Birth involves lots of screaming.

If you’ve seen any movie with a birth scene, you’ve probably heard the mom-to-be comically screaming as she pushes the baby out. Think Knocked Up or The Back-up Plan. But according to birth doula Darby Morris, screaming is actually discouraged during the birth itself.

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“Knocked Up” (2007)/Universal Pictures

This isn’t because doctors don’t want damaged ear drums or that ladies are too shy to scream—yelling just makes it harder to push.
Morris compares the feeling of pushing during labor to pushing when you’re constipated. Imagine trying to push and scream at the same time in the bathroom—it’s almost impossible. Morris says that women are usually quiet: One, so they can focus on pushing, and two, because they’re exhausted from the lengthy process of labor.

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Motherhood

Parents Have A Favorite Child, And It's Usually Their First

“My oldest tends to be my favorite most often,” one mom of three—let’s call her Samantha—tells HealthyWay. “She is at a stage that is less challenging for me currently, and she is most like me, so I understand her the best.”
Before you jump to conclusions and find yourself wondering what kind of mom favors one child over another, you need to know two things.
First, Samantha is quick to point out that her favorite child changes from time to time.
“Relationships with our children are like relationships with any other person in that we connect to them differently,” she explains. “I love them all equally, but I certainly may like them differently depending on the day.”
The second thing you need to know is that Samantha isn’t all that different from other parents. The only thing that truly sets her apart is that she is honest about favoring one child over the other, while many parents deny this to be true. The truth is, research actually shows that favoring a child isn’t all that uncommon. And, like Samantha, most parents will favor their oldest child. Birth order does influence how parents feel about their children, according to a study published in The Journal of Family Psychology.
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In the study, which was published in 2005, 384 families were surveyed. Each of these families had a pair of children that were no more than four years apart in age. And although the parents did admit to having a favorite child, they didn’t admit to which child it was. Instead, the children themselves were surveyed on how they perceived preferential treatment from their parents and how it impacted their self-esteem.

And the Winner Is…

In the study, both oldest and youngest child argued that their sibling received preferential treatment. Of course, if any of us think back to our own childhood, we might say that our parents liked our sibling better, too. It goes to show that, no matter the birth order, children are going to believe they are being slighted by their parent.

This wasn’t the only thing we discovered from their survey results. Much more telling were the revelations about how preferential treatment influenced feelings of self-worth. Specifically, it was the oldest child who was impacted the least by preferential treatment. Meanwhile, younger kids were much more likely to have their self-esteem suffer, suggesting that the parents did, in fact, favor the older child.
Additionally, in a second visit with these families, conflicts and problems were presented to the family. In recording the family as they attempted to resolving these conflicts, researchers noted that preferential treatment seemed to fall on the oldest child most often.
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What about families that don’t fit in the neat mold of having two children? Well, middle children are the least likely to be favored, according to The New York Times.

Why Parents Play Favorites

As explained above, parents are definitely most likely to favor their older children. Of course, there are always exceptions to rules, and birth order isn’t the only factor that influences how parents feel about their children. The truth is, behavior does impact how parents treat their kids.
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It’s hard not to prefer the kids who make parenting easier, according to Kryss Shane, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in adolescent and child counseling. She explains further that if parents are busy, the child who is more likely to sit quietly during work calls or stressful times may gain a spot of favoritism as well.
For one mom of two, birth order doesn’t seem to matter at all. She admits to struggling with feelings of preference towards her youngest child on a regular basis.
“I have a favorite child,” she admits. “It’s the one who thinks linearly, isn’t lost in his head, and is affectionate. It’s easy to spend time with him and I understand him.”
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She continues on to explain that her other child, her oldest, is much different. She doesn’t understand the way she thinks, often feels overwhelmed and unnerved by her chatty and hyperactive nature, and frustrated by her misbehavior.
In other cases, similarities that exist between parent and child my explain why a parent may show preference. Bonding over music or hobbies may provide a stronger connection, says Shane. And if the child is exceptional in a way that is prioritized by the parent, such as getting good grades or performing well in sports, parents may favor kids because of the pride they feel for that child or the bragging rights they provide.
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Interestingly enough, although many parents may say differently, the child who receives the status of favorite child probably remains the same, no matter how their behavior or performance changes, according Oksana Hagerty, PhD, an educational and developmental psychologist who serves as a learning specialist at Beacon College.
“No matter what has happened, most of the time, the status of the kid as a favorite or a non-favorite remains the same throughout the life of the kids or the parent,” she says.

When Favoritism is Harmless

Not all feelings of favoritism are reason for concern, according to Shane. In fact, she believes these preferences are fairly typical, and research backs that up. The truth is, 70 percent of mothers report feelings of preference towards one child, and 74 percent of fathers say the same.
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“It’s generally assumed that having a favorite child is wrong because it puts children against each other and means that at least one child has to then be the least favorite child,” Hagerty says. “However, this is super common, it’s something that can change frequently, and it is no reason for parents to feel guilty.”
Additionally, feelings are simply feelings. And for mothers like Samantha, keeping favoritism harmless might be as simple as working hard to behave fairly towards your children, no matter how you feel.
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“It doesn’t affect the family dynamic,” says Samantha. “Time and time again, I have made it explicitly clear that I love each of them with a love so deep they could never understand it, and no matter what they do I would never stop loving them.”

When Favoritism is Harmful

That being said, there is no question that favoritism can be harmful to the family dynamic. According to Hagerty, it is pretty typical for favoritism to affect sibling relationships.
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“Very rarely does the child who is not a favorite perceive this situation as normal,” she says. “Most of the time, unfortunately, playing favorites causes rivalry between children and really affects their relationship in the future.”
According to Shane, self-aware parents should be able to see when their affection towards their children becomes a problem. Favoritism is harmful if it leads you to have more relaxed rules for one child or if you spend far more time with a specific child.
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Additionally, parents should be open to criticism from friends, co-parents, and even their children on this topic. In some cases, children will speak up, pointing out that their parents are showing preference toward one kid time and time again. This is a pretty good indication that there is a problem with the family dynamic.

Here’s What to Do if Favoritism is Harming the Family Dynamic

We all make mistakes, and showing our feelings of preference toward one child is a one that many parents may find themselves making. So what should be done in this situation? Shane recommends attacking the problem head on.
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“If a parent recognizes they’ve slighted another child or other children, it may be time to reexamine rules in the home,” she says. “To try to refrain from having one long-term favorite, parents can work to engage with each child one-on-one so each gets alone time with their parent. Parents can also work to rotate activities during family time so every child gets to do their favorite thing periodically.”
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Shane also recommends professional guidance, like counseling, if favoritism is becoming a problem in your home. A counselor can help parents examine the dynamics of the home, making certain they’re not responsible for creating a conflict and tension between siblings. Additionally, a therapist can help determine if favoritism is damaging the self-esteem of non-favorite children in the home and offer direction on what should be done next.
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In the case that behavior motivates preferential treatment, it’s a good idea to address that specific aspect of the relationship. Shane suggests beginning by planning some one-on-one time with that child doing something they prefer and listening to whatever they have to say.
“You may find that they have a lot to say but don’t compete with siblings,” she says. “Or that something is going on that may be causing their tricky behaviors at home. If any one child is becoming increasingly difficult or creating problems at school and at home, it may be time to consider seeking professional help and guidance.”

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Sweat

As Seen On TV Fitness Products: Are They Worth It?

A recent break up left you heartbroken. You haven’t seen the inside of a gym for a few months, and you’re not sleeping well. Instead of tossing in bed, you click on the television and flip to a late-night infomercial. It showcases trim, upbeat supermodels working out with some kind of enticing fitness contraption. They look happy.
Minutes later, you pop out your credit card to buy what they’re selling. During the call, the customer service representative starts an upsell speech, and suddenly, you agree to buy two of these products. But, they come with free shipping and a DVD—so it’s totally worth it.
In your mind, you know you do not need these products; but in your heart, you do need these products. How is it possible to feel polar opposite ways at the same time?

Mind Games

This tension between real and emotional need arises when basic body dissatisfaction overwhelms your mind. Research has shown that when people, particularly women, see images of models, anxiety about their own self-image escalates.
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In a review published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, researchers wrote that women frequently make appearance-related social comparisons, which can lead to body dissatisfaction, and they continue to make these comparisons even with “detrimental consequences.”
In short, if you see an image that makes you feel bad about your body, you’ll keep looking at it. Naturally, you’ll do what it takes to look like the image. The producers of the fitness product commercials capitalize on this.
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“Humans are hardwired to avoid anxiety,” says Eamonn Leaver, registered psychologist and writer at fitness resource The Home Fit Freak. “Attractive models are using the very product—Shake Weight, ab shaker, et cetera—that can help people get that ideal body and alleviate the anxiety they’re experiencing. As such, they feel compelled to purchase it.”
In addition, trendy fitness products appear to solve the major excuses people list for eschewing exercise. Consider two examples:

  1. I have no time to work out. That common thought, Weaver says, is exactly why As Seen on TV products claim to work very quickly.
  2. Exercising is hard. It’s a chore. “That is why those attractive models with the desirable physiques always have smiles on their faces when demonstrating the product,” says Leaver. This perception that a product will bring you joy compels you to bring out your credit card.

Ultimately, explains Leaver, As Seen On TV products create unrealistic expectations in consumers’ minds. “The advertisements make them seem like they definitely will work.”

But will As Seen On TV products work outside of the shiny studio?

Well, sometimes.
As a standalone replacement of a workout routine, very seldom do they work, says Jon Santangelo, a former personal trainer. He does not recommend most of these products as a gym replacement; some, however, are worth it in a bind. He advises staying selective in what you choose: “Do not go for the fad products. Go for simplicity and functionality.”
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Lynda Lippin, a Pilates instructor and ACE-certified personal trainer, expresses positive feelings toward most of the products. “In my opinion, anything that gets a previously immobile person moving, and is pretty safe, is a success.” But she does say some are downright dangerous. Do your homework.

Ready to go shopping?

If you’re going to purchase a fitness product in the middle a midnight stupor, you should at least be an educated consumer. To help, knowledgeable health and fitness professionals will provide their thoughts on popular TV fitness products.

Say no to spot reducers.

The fitness product that spurred an infomercial phenomenon, the ThighMaster was hawked by television star Suzanne Somers to shape and tone your inner thighs. She began as its spokesperson back in 1990, and she said she stopped counting how many were sold after 10 million units, according to NBC News.

The ThighMaster is touted as an exercise you can do while watching television—all you need to do is simply put the mechanism between your thighs and squeeze. But Jeff Deal, a certified corrective exercise specialist and owner of iDEAL Fitness, says products that focus on training a body part to make it smaller do not work.
“This concept of spot reduction is impossible. In fact, if someone were to change nothing else in their life, with the exception of one of these products, they would more likely increase the size of the body part.”
In a study published in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research, researchers investigated the effects of abdominal exercises on abdominal fat. Results showed no significant effects of such spot-reduction/toning exercises on body weight, body fat percentage, and abdominal circumference. Spot reduction, it seems, is a myth. Dieting and exercise will burn fat, but not in targeted areas.

Like the ThighMaster, the Ab Roller is based on spot reduction. Invented in 1994, the ab contraption promised to “sculpt abdominals faster than you’ve ever dreamed possible.” Trainers have been shaking their heads ever since.
“All Pilates and fitness pros are on board with the need for people to learn to stabilize their spines, and this product works against that,” says Lippin. “I had one male client give himself some hernias with the Ab Roller.”

Don’t replace your meal just yet.

Meal replacement shakes populate late-night television and dominate nutrition store shelves. You always see your coworker bring one for lunch. But should you really drink your meal instead of eat it?

Research in the journal Diabetes Spectrum says that meal replacement shakes do offer benefits in weight management: They provide individuals with pre-measured amounts of food with known amounts of nutrients. But to maintain healthy weight loss, meal replacement therapy must be responsible and sustained. It’s imperative that you speak with a health care professional to determine whether these shakes, and which shakes, can serve as a useful weight management tool.
Donna Benjamin, owner and head coach at Crossfit Homeward, says she’s heard plenty of weight loss success stories surrounding meal replacement shakes. But she also says that this bland, ultra-regimented type of nutrition isn’t sustainable.
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“Shakes might help an athlete get started on the path to a healthier lifestyle,” she says, “but the joy of gathering at a table and eating a flavorful meal will motivate the athlete to stay on track.”

Weigh the benefits of the Shake Weight.

Taking the infomercial timeslot by storm in mid-2009, the Shake Weight promised to tone your upper body using daily, six-minute workouts—for only $19.95! One ad for the product claimed that it increased muscle activation by 300 percent.

The direction of response of a body function to any agent depends to a large degree on the initial level of that function.

Such an illustrious claim had people running to the phone to buy; by August 2010, Shake Weight’s manufacturer was $40 million richer. By December of the following year, they’d sold 4.5 million units.
Due to its wonky motion, the Shake Weight went viral, with everyone from YouTubers to the folks at Saturday Night Live parodying it—buying a Shake Weight to do so, of course.

To find out if the Shake Weight was truly worth its hype, the American Council on Exercise conducted a study evaluating the degree of muscle activation in Shake Weight exercises versus identical exercises with an equally weighted dumbbell. The women’s dumbbell was 2.5 pounds, and the men’s was 5 pounds.
The results showed that the average muscle activation was 66 percent greater for the Shake Weight exercises compared to the dumbbell exercises. Not quite 300 percent, but still an increase.
HealthyWay
The low weight of the dumbbells, though, made some question the practical uses of the Shake Weight for more experienced lifters: “For a person who has experience with resistance training … it’s probably going to have, at most, a modest effect,” said Cedric X. Bryant, ACE’s chief science officer, in a roundup of the 2011 study.
More in the doubt category: A 2012 study published in the Journal of Sports Science & Medicine found no significant increase in muscle activation for Shake Weight exercises compared to normal weights.

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Actress Emma Stone using a Shake Weight on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon in September 2010 (NBC Universal via Wall Devil)

That said, the Shake Weight could be a good way for a “previously immobile person,” as Lippin said, to get moving. Bryant cited Wilder’s law of initial value: “the direction of response of a body function to any agent depends to a large degree on the initial level of that function.”
“If you put forth effort,” Bryant said, “the Shake Weight, because it provides some level of resistance will produce an exercise response, particularly for individuals at the low end of the fitness spectrum.”

Take a hack at the Ab Carver.

The ab wheel, dressed up below as the Ab Carver, is a wheel connected to two handles for you to roll out your body into a plank position. Its popularity lies in its simplistic design, low price, and small size. You can slip it under your bed or throw it in your luggage.

“The ab wheel is actually a pretty cool device,” says Rui Li, a NASM-certified personal trainer and CEO of New York Personal Training. “It works essentially like a plank, except instead of staying in the same position, you roll your way out into the plank position.”
Li finds the ab wheel effective in building strength in the rectus abdominis, the muscles that you can see on people with washboard abs. “These muscles are important because they allow you to sit up easily and push heavy weight over your head,” she says.

A Fitness Shopper’s First Step

Don’t just take these experts’ words for it, either. If you decide to move forward with buying one of these fitness products, Danielle Girdano, president of D’fine Sculpting & Nutrition, recommends speaking to a professional first. Any of these fitness products should be discussed with a health care professional who uses them, personally or in their practice.
HealthyWay
“Also, remember that online reviews can be skewed or even advertisements in disguise, so be sure that any information gathered comes from a trusted, unbiased source,” she says.
In addition, you should always seek the approval of a medical professional before starting any fitness program, especially if you have not worked out for a long period of time.
Now that you understand how infomercials play off of poor self-image, this might help you make wiser choices at 2 a.m. You can still purchase these products, as we can see they are not all a waste of money—just be sure you really know what you’re getting.

Categories
Wellbeing

Go To Bed Angry (And More Surprising Secrets Of A Happy Marriage)

When I first got married, I really sucked at being a married person.
I was young, selfish, and pretty difficult to communicate with. I entered marriage thinking that the fabled Prince Charming awaited, and instead, I found a regular guy with a good heart—who also really sucked at getting his dirty dishes from the living room to the kitchen.
My husband and I recently celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, and looking back, we both agree that year one was the absolute worst. He admits that he thought he was getting a wife/maid combo once he put a ring on it, and as I confessed, I thought I was entering a fairytale.
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Something good happened between that rough first year and now, though. A lot of good things happened, actually, and now we’re happy. We enjoy being married, and we genuinely like each other. And that’s saying a lot, considering how our life right after our wedding was pretty close to miserable. So, what did we start doing right?
Well, more on that later. But in short, what matters most for us is that we’re trying; we’re living and learning; we’re choosing marriage. And those secrets are just a sampling of what we could list, but honestly, I’ve learned that the secrets to success vary from couple to couple.
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See, in an attempt to hear from other couples about their secrets of a happy marriage, I turned to social media. Lately, my feed has been full of breakups, divorce announcements, and single-life struggles, so I was a bit hesitant to crowdsource for happy husbands and wives…but to my amazement and joy, 70 individuals replied to my query. Seventy!
If you thought happiness in marriage was a myth, you’re going to be persuaded otherwise. There are many, many happy couples out there, and they have some really surprising secrets to spill. Below are the overarching themes of what they shared paired with insight from relationship professionals.

If you need to, go to bed angry.

“We have all heard the saying ‘Don’t go to bed angry,’” says Stefani, who has been married for nine years, “but if it’s late and you’re both overtired, sometimes that’s the smartest thing to do. You can always continue the conversation in the morning. … Trying to solve … something while exhausted and you just can’t think clearly can lead to even more problems. Learning how your husband or wife processes [conflict] will be a huge help in communicating what you need and want from them.”
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On that note, Rochelle Peachey, a couples counselor, says, “If you do go to bed with the argument unsolved, be the first one to re-open it, but in a more reasonable way. If your partner is the one who re-visits last night’s disagreement, then you need to be willing to listen and talk it through.”

Don’t make your spouse your everything.

Should you lose yourself in marriage? Make your spouse your everything? Layla Lawrence, a contributor at mom.me who has been married for ten years, wrote a piece titled No, My Husband Is Not My Best Friend. It reads: “The number-one reason my husband is not my best friend: I don’t believe one person should carry the burden of my entire emotional life.”
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Isn’t that the truth? My husband loves me, this I know, but does he need to catch every tear I cry? I don’t think so.
Lawrence continued: “I mean, let’s share that s***. Spread it out. I’m a lot to handle and he does a good job husbanding me, but no man deserves to be a girl’s literal everything. It’s just too much.”
That mentality transfers just as easily to husbands. I need my man to have friends and hobbies outside of me. I don’t complete him. He’s his own person and our relationship, albeit an important one, is only a facet of who he is.

[Marriage] is meant to be interdependent, not codependent.

Michael DeMarco, PhD, a relationship counselor and sex therapist says, “I look at healthy relationships like a Venn diagram of overlapping circles. If you are a whole person, you’re going to, hopefully, attract and be in a relationship with another whole person—and where you overlap is your relationship. This also means that there will be areas in which you don’t overlap, and don’t have to!”
Jim Seibold, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist, concurs: “[Marriage] is meant to be interdependent, not codependent. Interdependence means that couples share, live, and work together, but do not solely rely on each other.”

Communicate. Learn. Adapt.

Mickey Eckles, a pastor and marriage counselor of 25 years, stresses that there is one skill that couples must commit to learning if they want to be happy. That skill? Communication!
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“If we can learn to communicate openly and honestly with one another, we can express our desires and dislikes. More than that, we can navigate any issue that tries to rob our joy and unity. Marriage is work, and great marriages are working at it all the time.”
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“In all of life, we should continue to learn,” says Brian Taylor, an author and relationship coach. “Most certainly in our relationships. Most professions have Continuing Professional Development requirements. Why not, in our most important relationship, have Continuing Personal Development requirements?”

Put your spouse in your schedule.

Eckles introduced me to Willard F. Harley, Jr., PhD, who wrote the book Surviving An Affair. In it he wrote:
“You have 168 hours every week (24×7) to schedule for something. I highly recommend 8 hours of sleep a night, so that leaves 112 waking hours. Getting ready for the day, and going to bed at night may require, say, 12 hours, and work plus commute may take another 50 hours. That leaves 50 more hours to spend doing what you value most, and 15 of those hours should be dedicated to maintaining a passionate and fulfilling marriage.”
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Kristy and her husband, Sean, have been married for 23 years, and she heartily agrees.
“Make time—lots, weekly—to just be a couple. We were so poor starting out, we made dates of movies in, walks, coffee … we laugh together a lot. Now we still make the time, only we don’t need childcare anymore, so we can eat out more, which I love! Also, once or twice a year we get away together and have a little honeymoon.”
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If your job gets 40-plus hours a week from you, the secret to maintaining a happy marriage is to make sure your spouse is getting a nice chunk of the 168 hours you have to allot.

Know that being happy isn’t the goal.

You’re in a committed relationship that needs to weather many hardships— that’s just life! So, if you make it your sole goal to be happy, you’ll most likely be unhappy.
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“If the goal is to be happy, that means that any conflict would likely feel like failing,” Seibold says. This would lead to feelings of anxiety, even panic.”
“In fact, arguments are a sign of health,” he continues. “It suggests that couples respect one another enough to bring issues to the table. It also communicates trust in each other and the relationship. It says ‘I trust you to hear me’ and ‘I trust our relationship can handle this.’ If you hear a couple suggest that they are great together because they never fight, that is a sign of trouble. That means they are not sharing enough.”
I think we all need to ask ourselves, “What is the purpose of marriage?” Is your purpose to be happy, or is your purpose to partner with someone through life’s experiences?
HealthyWay
After connecting with so many happy couples and sharing their thoughts with experts, it seems that the vast majority agree that when you forget happiness and focus on other crucial elements of marriage, you wind up finding happiness. If it’s not the focus, it will surely come.

So, what worked for my husband and I?

My husband said it best: “I choose her over myself.” And I agree—finding happiness in our marriage has been more about making each other happy than seeking our own.
HealthyWay
To us, marriage is about entering a partnership where you’re both willing to give 100 percent. We fill in each other’s gaps, make decisions based on what is best for each other, and show up each and every day. From the little things like packing lunches (that’s one thing I do for my husband each day) to the big things like taking them on their dream vacation (my husband did that for me last spring).
Eckles brings speaks of the concept of preferring one another. That’s a phrase not often heard in marriage talk, but it bodes true. Preferring your spouse gives them priority. It’s choosing them and holding space for them to choose you.

Categories
Motherhood

9 Weird Things Parents Have Seen On Their Nanny Cam

Thanks to Paranormal Activity and its sequels, there’s probably not a parent alive who’s fond of checking on their baby using a grainy, black-and-white camera. Unfortunately, our options are limited, and baby monitors are the best we’ve got.
Still, we had to ask: Why do they have to be so creepy? Why do night-vision color schemes look so strange? Do baby monitor manufacturers go out of their way to keep parents feeling horrified?
We decided to look into some of the more disturbing baby monitor stories making the rounds on the internet to determine whether they’re worth all the fright. In most cases, we found plausible explanations, but we also found some serious issues that will certainly change our baby-monitoring habits from this point forward.
For starters…

Strange images on baby monitors usually have a simple explanation.

Take a look at the picture below. At first, this doesn’t seem like a disturbing photo. There is, of course, a catch: The family only has one child.

via Boredom Therapy

Yes, we know, it’s terrifying. If you just shuddered and dropped your phone/ran away from your computer, we don’t blame you. However, this photo certainly isn’t proof of the paranormal.
Upon closer inspection, the second “baby” clearly doesn’t exist. He’s a combination of shadows and a slightly strange pattern on the bed sheets, but if you didn’t immediately notice that, don’t feel bad.
Pareidolia is a psychological phenomenon in which people see patterns that don’t actually exist. Humans frequently mistake these patterns as faces, since our brains are wired to recognize other humans. Women are more susceptible to pareidolia than men, by the way, and while we couldn’t find any studies to prove that motherhood plays a role in this phenomenon, we’ve got a hunch.
Most weird baby monitor photos can be easily attributed to psychological phenomena like pareidolia. That also explains pictures like this, which appeared on Imgur with the following caption:
“My sister heard strange laughing from her son’s room, looked at the baby monitor, and saw this.”
via Imgur

The laughter likely came from the baby—or it never existed in the first place—and the “ghastly face” is a crumpled-up sheet. In any case, it makes for a great story (or urban legend).
We don’t blame parents who get a little freaked out when they see something weird. After all, baby monitors typically don’t broadcast high-quality images, so it’s easy to make a mistake. Remove some of the cues (like color) that would normally tell us “this isn’t a face,” add the stress and insomnia that accompany parenthood, and you’ve got a recipe for some late-night creepiness.
via Boredom Therapy

This article will probably disappoint ghost hunters, but parents, you can breathe a little easier. We’re happy to report that spirits still aren’t real, and the next Paranormal Activity won’t take place in your child’s bedroom.

Other strange baby monitor incidents don’t have any sort of supernatural twist.

via Boredom Therapy

Take this photo, which frequently appears on lists of creepy baby monitor shots.
Without a doubt, it’s creepy, but it’s not exactly mysterious; it’s simply a child standing in front of a camera. While the night vision makes it creepy, we’re not really freaked out (although we do wonder whether the parents improved their crib security after snapping this shot).
Likewise, we’ll admit that this next picture looks shocking, but as every parent knows, kids can be freakishly flexible.
via Boredom Therapy

Other strange baby monitor experiences are clear hoaxes or pranks. Those might be our favorites. This popular video shows YouTube user Rich Ferguson executing a simple, easy, and totally harmless prank on his wife.

Ferguson basically took a three-minute video and loaded it into his baby monitor. As the clip shows, it doesn’t take him long to make the changes.
Maybe that shouldn’t surprise use. After all, baby monitors are fairly simple technology; most simply consist of a video monitor, a transmitter, and a couple of microphones. Dedicated hobbyists can easily take advantage of security flaws to pull pranks on their loved ones.
With that said…

With baby monitors, there are a few real-world dangers to consider.

In April 2015, an anonymous couple relayed their real-life horror story to CBS News in New York.
The parents say that a strange voice came through their two-way monitor. The mother was within earshot during one of the occurrences.
“Wake up little boy,” the voice reportedly said, “Daddy’s looking for you.”
The 3-year-old child told CBS that he was terrified of the voice. Understandably, his parents echoed that sentiment.
“My wife walked in and I heard the exact words, ‘Look someone’s coming, or someone’s coming into view,'” the father told the channel. Someone was watching their child—and whoever it was, they’d been watching for a while.

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istock.com/MartinPrescott

A mother in Lacey, Washington recounted a similar story to local news station KIRO 7.
“For months, my son was telling his family that the ‘telephone’ was telling him to stay in bed,” the woman told the station.
Initially, she wrote off the incidents, assuming that her child had an overactive imagination. One day, that changed abruptly. She was approaching the his room when she heard a strange woman’s voice coming through her baby monitor.
“Oh, watch this one, she’s coming in again,” the voice reportedly said.
Once again, there’s no supernatural explanation, but in this case, that’s not exactly comforting. We found a half-dozen cases in which hackers accessed baby monitors. Most were trying to play pranks on parents; some seemed intent on tormenting children.
“Hackers can easily target baby monitors,” Ben Carmitchel, president of Datarecovery.com, tells HealthyWay. Carmitchel is an IT security consultant and computer forensics expert.
“I wish I could say that these were isolated incidents, but there are hacking communities set up that enjoy ‘pranking’ families by accessing WiFi-capable monitors,” he says. “Most of the time, they’re just looking for cruel laughs, but obviously it’s a huge security concern for parents.”
A quick YouTube search brings up dozens of videos of hacked baby monitors (some of which are clearly fake, but hey, that’s YouTube). In one of the most popular videos, hackers wake up a child in the middle of the night by playing Smash Mouth’s “All Star.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZodXLiGLsAU&t=1s
At first, this “prank” seems harmless, but it’s a gross misunderstanding of boundaries, at the very least. At its worst, it’s downright sinister. Hackers are essentially telling parents that they have full access to their targets, and that’s a disturbing idea.
That has prompted the government to take action. In 2016, the Department of Consumer Affairs issued subpoenas to four baby monitor manufacturers as part of an investigation into the devices’ alleged security flaws.

Baby Acrobat

Sometimes baby monitors don’t catch the creepy, but the bizarre. Take this incredibly acrobatic child, for example. His monitor captured him crying during the middle of the night, but his parents must not have heard him, because they never came in to check on him.

chrisandkeelanchronicles/YouTube

At some point in time, he must’ve gotten fed up with waiting because he decided to start climbing the railing of his crib and eventually stood up on top of it. He balanced there for about 20 seconds before he fell back into his crib—thankfully not face-first onto the floor.

Paranormal Door-tivity

As a couple watched television while their child slept soundly upstairs, they kept an occasional eye on the baby monitor to make sure everything was as it should be.

“Paranomal Activity” (2007)/Paramount Pictures

Because they saw nothing out of the ordinary going on upstairs, they went on with their night without hearing a peep from their baby.
It’s surprising when you consider that they found all of their upstairs doors and windows open when they finally decided to head to bed. Since they were upstairs, they didn’t think it was likely that someone had broken in, especially just to open a bunch of windows and doors. The most likely explanation?
“Paranomal Activity” (2007)/Paramount Pictures

One of the parents explained that the home originally belonged to his uncle and has a long history of ghostly activity. Thankfully, their child was unharmed, but you can bet they had some pretty unsettling sleep that night, and probably for the next few after that.

If you’ve got a video baby monitor, you’re not defenseless.

Parents can take a few key steps to reduce their chances of this type of attack.
“If you’re buying an internet-connected baby monitor, change the default password and become familiar with the security settings,” Carmitchel says. “Choose a secure password, and don’t assume that hackers would have a single point of access.”
“You’ll also need to secure your home wireless network, email accounts associated with the baby monitor, and anything else that might provide hackers with an opportunity.”

“Nanny Cam” (2014)/MarVista Entertainment

Most people don’t change their default wifi router settings, which can present a serious security issue. For instance, on a typical Netgear router, the default username is “admin” and the default password is “password.”
“If a hacker can figure out your wifi settings, they can probably access any device on your network,” Carmitchel says. “That’s especially true for Internet-of-Things devices like baby monitors.”
You could opt for a more lo-fi monitor that doesn’t connect through your router, but surprisingly, that doesn’t guarantee protection.
“Even if a monitor doesn’t connect to your home wifi, it could be accessible,” Carmitchel says. “Learn about the security features and make sure you’re using them correctly. Read the manual. Every level of protection drastically decreases your chances of a successful attack, because most hackers are going to go after the easiest targets they can find.”
One beneficial feature is frequency hopping spread spectrum. This technology allows a baby monitor to rapidly switch frequencies, decreasing (but not eliminating) the chances of hacking.
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istock.com/MartinPrescott

“Other than that, just pay attention to the small stuff,” Carmitchel says. “Turn monitors off when you’re not using them, and of course, make sure that kids can’t reach power cords.”
The good news: With a little bit of setup, you probably don’t have anything to worry about. Most security issues can be easily avoided, particularly if you’re willing to do some research before buying your baby monitor.
Unfortunately, we can’t give you any advice for avoiding the late-night willies. Seriously, if you see something like this at 3 a.m., you’re probably going to get a little freaked out. After all, at the end of the day, baby monitors are pretty creepy.