Tag: social

What Makes Food Taste Better—According To Science

Post author By Nina Bahadur
Post date January 16, 2019

Ever wondered what actually makes food taste good? Obviously, a lot of it depends on the ingredients and preparation, not to mention your personal preferences. But psychological studies have shown a few surprising things that can make a difference. So whether you’re an amateur chef looking to improve, or just interested in the topic, here are a few things you should know about what’s at play when it comes to enjoying a plate of chow.

What you’ve probably suspected is true: When food looks good, it tastes better.

In one study, researchers presented subjects with a salad plated in one of three ways: with the ingredients tossed together, with the ingredients presented neatly, and with the ingredients presented artistically (with the ingredients arranged to mimic a painting by Wassily Kandinsky).

“Prior to consumption, the art-inspired presentation resulted in the food being considered as more artistic, more complex, and more liked than either of the other presentations,” the paper concluded. “The participants were also willing to pay more for the Kandinsky-inspired plating. Interestingly, after consumption, the results revealed higher tastiness ratings for the art-inspired presentation.”

Novel eating experiences are also more enjoyable.

Ever tried eating popcorn with chopsticks?
As weird as this sounds, research actually shows that you enjoy popcorn more if you eat it with chopsticks. Yes, really! Apparently, eating or drinking something in an unusual way can recreate that feel-good sensation of trying something for the very first time, heightening our enjoyment of its taste (assuming we like it in the first place).

For a paper published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers asked a group of subjects to do various things—like eating popcorn, drinking water, and watching a movie—in either a totally normal way, or an unconventional, new, and exciting way. They found that people who tried things the unconventional way, like eating popcorn with chopsticks or drinking water out of a martini glass, enjoyed their experiences significantly more.

“When you eat popcorn with chopsticks, you pay more attention and you are more immersed in the experience,” one of the study’s authors said in a press release. “It’s like eating popcorn for the first time.”

Using a totally new utensil could also make food taste better.

Enter the Goûte. This glass utensil, created by designer Andreas Fabian and chef and scientist Charles Michel, is a kind of wand modeled after the shape of a human finger. It’s designed for creamy foods like yogurt, hummus, Nutella, and peanut butter. Fabian and Michel partnered with Oxford University’s Crossmodal Research Laboratory to see how people reacted to the utensil, and they found that participants in a small study said food tasted “significantly better” when eaten from a Goûte rather than a spoon.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BLjRJtWgyBS/
“Conventional cutlery is a technology we put in our mouths every day, and currently it is only designed with functional purposes,” Michel explained. “We want to offer eating utensils that enrich the sensual pleasures of eating.”
Obviously, a new and novel piece of cutlery is not super appealing to everyone. But think about whether you use things like a honey dipper, soup spoon, seafood fork, or lobster cracker. Using these specialized utensils can be very satisfying, and possibly make your food taste better.

Still, there’s something about eating with the “right” cutlery…

Who wants to eat yogurt with chopsticks? A spoon just makes sense.
But what kind of spoon of spoon should you go for, then? Well, researcher Charles Spence asked people to rate yogurt that they tasted from either an artificially weighted spoon or a lightweight plastic one.

“The results revealed that yogurt was perceived as denser and more expensive when tasted from a lighter plastic spoon as compared to the artificially weighted spoons,” he wrote in a research paper published in the journal Flavour. The paper goes on to indicate that the right utensil will vary depending on the type of food that’s being served and the experience you’re after.
This definitely makes sense. Think about how food tastes to you when you eat it from paper plates using disposable plastic cutlery versus how it tastes at home or at a restaurant using ceramic plates and metal knives and forks.

This same logic can also apply to drinks. Have you ever thought that soda tastes different when you drink it from a can versus a paper cup? Or what about the holy grail: the OG glass soda bottle? How about movie theater popcorn from a paper bag versus a sturdy bowl, or ice cream from a cone versus straight out of the carton?

The color of your plate, cup, or mug matters, too.

Researchers from the the Universitat Politècnica de València in Spain and the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom served 53 subjects a serving of strawberry mousse on either a black plate or a white plate. Their paper reveals that those served the mousse on a white plate liked it more and rated the mousse as sweeter and more flavorful.
For the most part, restaurants serve their food on white plates—which may well be accentuating the flavor of the food while also making it easier for diners to recognize what they are eating.

For a paper published in the Journal of Sensory Studies, researchers asked subjects to drink cocoa out of a white, red, orange, or cream mug. “The results revealed that orange (with a white interior) and dark-cream colored cups enhanced the chocolate flavor of the drink and consequently improved people’s acceptance of the beverage,” the researchers wrote.

This may explain why we all have a “favorite” mug that brings us a little bit of joy every time we take a sip. It also explains the aversion many people have to mugs that are not white on the inside—it affects the color of whatever you’re drinking. Anything that makes my tea look a strange color? Not gonna work for me.

Okay, so we know that the science says. But how can you incorporate of these tricks when serving food to others?

“I always tell my clients that nourishment is a sensory experience,” says Gisela Bouvier, a registered dietitian who focuses on mindful and intuitive eating. “Food, first and foremost, should be visually appealing to them. When they see the food combinations they are about to consume, they should be excited and look forward to the food they are about to eat. Food colors have a lot to do with that. If a meal is too monochromatic, it may not stimulate the senses as much as a meal rich in colors. A combination of colors may make the meal a lot more appealing and therefore more appetizing.”

Bouvier also says that playing with textures can completely change how someone feels about a certain food.
“When someone is aiming to include more nutrient-dense foods in their daily intake, the texture of their food matters,” she says. “For example: The texture of roasted broccoli versus tender-fork steamed broccoli is significantly different. The slightly crisp texture that occurs from the broccoli being roasted may make a meal a lot more enjoyable to the palate versus a soft-steamed texture of the same vegetable. Further, having different textures in a meal also creates a more enjoyable experience when eating that meal. I always recommend that my clients combine a variety of textures in their meals and snacks, such as crispy, soft, tender, crunchy, and creamy.”

Rachel Meltzer Warren, a registered dietitian nutritionist based in Jersey City, NJ, suggests other small tweaks you can easily make.
“Top with a sprinkle of fresh herbs,” Meltzer Warren suggests. “Restaurants do this all the time—why not try it at home? Chop a bit of parsley, oregano, or basil and sprinkle on your meal to add intrigue, not to mention nutrients and a burst of fresh flavor.”
Another one of her tips that’s an echo from above? “Use white plates. Having a blank canvas allows the colors of your food to pop and even makes it seem more flavorful.”

Finally, she suggests playing around with portion size when you’re plating. “Placing one minimal portion of food on the plate allows the food itself to shine; an oversized portion that takes up the whole plate or dish overwhelms the eye and doesn’t show off your food as well,” she says.
When you are thinking about how to make a meal more appealing for yourself or guests, think about aspects of dining that you really enjoy and try to recreate them. For example, if you love the atmosphere of a restaurant, recreate parts of it at home by setting the table, lighting candles, and playing soft jazz or classical music in the background. If you personally enjoy eating from pretty plates or using different knives and forks for each course, go for it.

And of course, beyond psychology, the quality and freshness of the ingredients in your meal do make a difference. Consider how a farm-fresh summer tomato tastes in comparison to a mealy supermarket tomato that was grown out of season, or what a difference fresh herbs can make compared to their dried counterparts. If you have access to a farmer’s market or seasonal produce stands, make the most of local fare to create fresh, flavorful meals.

Tags social

Wellbeing

Interview With A Narcissist: Looking Inside The Grandiose (And Equally Anxious) Mind

Post author By Cindy Lamothe
Post date December 3, 2018

Now he’s 56, but back in college, Howard was the one who knew everything about everything among his group of peers.
If someone was telling a story, he would interrupt them to tell a bigger, grander story. “I was fantastic at thinking on my feet to appear better than anyone else,” he confesses. Lying became a second skin, a way to appear slicker and more capable.
As a youth camp director, he currently spends his time trekking along the open desert and among the mountains all over the U.S. He is sharp and highly engaged—approaching his work with a searing intensity that could rival any CEO.
He’s also a diagnosed narcissist.

Before he worked with youth, Howard never kept a job for very long. In fact, over the past 37 years, the longest he’s been able to hold one down has been 18 months.
He has a propensity for manipulation, and even if you were his friend, he could lie to your face without missing a beat. But here’s the thing; he doesn’t want to. Not anymore.

“For 40 years I was acting on my tendencies,” he admits. “Not one time did I think I was doing something wrong.”
“I thought everyone was just like me.”

A Glimpse Into the Wound

What makes someone a narcissist, you might ask? Well, all emotional wounds can fester and become problematic, and in the case of narcissism, at the root of the diagnosis, there’s most likely a profound disruption in intimacy.
“Their insecurities are light years [beyond] a normal person’s ordinary ownership of weaknesses and insecurities,” explains Nancy Irwin, PsyD, a Malibu-based licensed clinical psychologist. “Yet,” she says,“[a narcissist] never, ever will admit they have them.”

As defined by Kristina Madjoska in “The Simple Science of a Grandiose Mind,” an article in The Harvard Science Review, a diagnosed narcissist pervasively feels grandiose, unique, and chosen. “Although on the surface a narcissist seems to be an invincibly confident person, feelings of deep shame and low self-esteem in response to social disapproval are at the core of NPD”—aka narcissistic personality disorder—she writes.
While it’s hard to empathize with someone who continuously exhibits toxic behavior, we also shouldn’t take it personally.
“It’s a survival strategy to them,” says psychotherapist Laura Dabney, MD, who treats patients in Virginia Beach. She contends that those with narcissistic traits possess a damaged sense of self, developed from their early relationship with caregivers or from living in a hostile environment.

“We learn how to be intimate with our parents, so it stands to reason that if they don’t know how to do this, we won’t learn either.”
Dabney claims that one of the biggest misconceptions is that narcissists are incapable of loving others. “While their capacity for empathy is damaged, they do have it, it’s just buried.”
As with all things taboo, anything shrouded in silence remains misunderstood, which makes understanding and discussing narcissistic personality disorder even more imperative.

Replacing Love With Deception

Howard became highly proficient at remembering his lies. If someone came up to him today and mentioned something Howard told them 20 years ago, he says he would still remember the lie he told them.
Because of this, his romantic relationships have often crumbled under the weight of his deception. “If I was around people for very long, they would have figured me out and left.”

He recalls one relationship that he was able to hold down for several years. “We got engaged, picked out rings, and started planning the wedding,” he says. But everything soon came to a halt because of his narcissistic tendencies.
Howard explains that he’s been in his current arrangement (not relationship) for 30 years. They currently live as roommates because, as he explains, “At this point, we are stuck with each other because neither of us can afford to move.”
They also have two children together who he says don’t display his behavior. “I couldn’t even begin to try to count how many times the mother of my children has told me to quit lying or to stop trying to manipulate her.”

“My son has a minor in psychology and understands what my tendencies are,” Howard says. “He’s tried to sit down with his mother to explain that I’m not doing it on purpose and that it’s a mental illness—she has refused [this] every time.”
He makes it a point to mention that not one, but both of his kids have masters degrees and are very successful.
According to Irwin, more than anything, a narcissist craves constant affirmation from everyone around them. This can come in the way of money, awards, press, compliments, or plain old adoration.
“This is their oxygen.”

A Lonely Illness

“When I did make friends, they never stayed long.” He says his extreme arrogance, which he formerly mistook for self-confidence, was more than they could handle.
According to Dabney, sustaining intimacy as a narcissist is difficult because while on some level they crave closeness, they are also unconsciously afraid of it. “So then they have to ‘break it’ by belittling the other person and rising above them.”

But an expert explaining the disorder is different from how a person lives it.
What loneliness looks likes like for Howard is not having anyone to talk to about his problems or check up on him when his symptoms act up—no one to go out and do anything with.
“It’s just me and my computer.”
But it’s not all bad, he says. “Not having any friends gives me the drive to succeed at everything I do.”

“Individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits are probably some of the loneliest people,” claims cognitive neuroscientist Caroline Leaf, PhD. “…Loneliness increases toxicity as well as the risk of more mental and physical issues—exacerbating the problem.”
“Lonely people tend to lack hope and peace,” she adds, “and many of them have learned how to put up a shield up front that says ‘I am great, I am better than you,’ while, in reality, they are desperate to be loved and heard.” As Madjoska writes, “In lacking empathy, a vital capacity for social bonding, a narcissist tends to form shallow and unfulfilling relationships.”
“I’ve only had one friend for the past twenty years,” says Howard. “I can’t tell you why he stuck with me, but I’m truly happy that he did.”

Hitting rock bottom may be the only way up.

When Howard first became a camp director many years ago, he says his narcissistic tendencies gave him the freedom and autonomy to do some amazing things. He recounts having a staff of up to 125 who thought him to be the best in his field.

Instead of answering to someone above him, he says he was left to do whatever he wished. And it was this newfound freedom that gave him the insight he had long suspected: He knew way more than any boss he’d ever had.
Or so he once thought.
“Being a director at summer camps just fed my illness,” he acknowledges.
When people would come to him with their problems, he says his tendencies would kick in.
“I would help them with their problem, but not until I told them how great I was at whatever their problem was.”
It was around this same time that he noticed a sudden shift. “It all came on very quickly, I completely lost my drive and didn’t want to work.”

But he couldn’t allow that to happen. He had worked his entire life to get in the position he was in and couldn’t allow that to just disappear. “I loved my job, it gave me exactly what I needed: confidence, praise, and knowing that I was making a positive impact on my kids.”
It was soon after this crisis that he made an appointment with the physiatrist who initially diagnosed him with depression, social anxiety, and narcissistic tendencies. That first visit would be the beginning of a long road that involved a lot of medications.
For the next two and a half years, Howard says he tried every drug on the market with only harsh side effects to show for results. After that tumultuous time, he finally found a combination that helped take the edge off of his symptoms.

He also started receiving cognitive behavioral therapy. He remembers going into that first meeting still attempting to hijack the conversation, trying to convince the provider that he deserved 100 percent of their attention.
While many of the exercises have helped, Howard remains skeptical things can ever entirely improve.
“As far as I’m concerned, I can’t be ‘cured.’ I’ve been this way for so long it’s part of me.”

When Labels Breed Stigma

According to Leaf, who specializes in mental health, labels don’t take into consideration the context of a person’s life and what they have been through. She explains that labels—like “narcissist”—discount the evidence that people’s behavior is the result of experience and, in fact, changes over time.
For example, someone who displays narcissistic behaviors and who needs to make others feel bad about themselves to make themselves feel good is really displaying an identity crisis from some toxic experience—such as bullying, toxic masculinity, or not being allowed to develop their true selves.

Narcissistic behavior is, in a sense, lashing back at the society that they should have felt safe in, says Leaf. “In a distorted way, ‘narcissists’ are almost trying to right a wrong, but in an unhealthy way.”
People behave in a narcissistic way because they have reacted to a toxic situation, she says. And this pattern of thinking, feeling, and choosing intensifies the more they think about it. “The reactions of the people that are the target of these interactions creates a negative feedback loop that often reinforces the toxic behavior.”
“Labels lock people in,” she asserts. “If anything, it can create a more severe problem in addition to fostering a sense of hopelessness for both the person displaying this kind of behavior and for those that are at the receiving end of it.”

Denying Empathy as a Means of Survival

In On Narcissism: An Introduction, Sigmund Freud argued that narcissism is the desire and energy that drives one’s instinct to survive.
But what happens when taken to the extreme?

“A conflict can emerge in the person,” says Leaf. “They want to bond with others in a healthy way, but their negative experiences override their desires in an effort to protect their fragile identity.”
When a person seems to have little regard for others by not listening to them, diverting the conversation back to themselves, or seeming to lack empathy, Leaf explains they may have been so wounded in the past that they over-process pain, which makes them feel worse about themselves. “Over time, to protect their minds, they block the pain of others out, and this can become a toxic pattern.”

Leaf believes that if we can stop labeling someone as a narcissist—which implies that we thoroughly understand who they are at their core (which we do not)—we can see that this is a person who has a story to tell.
“We can try to listen to what they are really saying.”

In His Own Words

After learning of his disorder, Howard began taking an honest inventory of who he was.
“I had a lack of empathy for others, was extremely manipulative, self-centered, a liar.”
“When I was speaking, I demanded that others listen to me.” If others tried to speak, he says it was irrelevant to him. “I could quickly figure someone out and know exactly what I needed to say so they would think I was much more knowledgeable than I was.”

“I honed my skills so well that someone would be mad at me for lying to them and I could convince them that I was right and they were wrong.”
Howard lives in a place with three large towns nearby. “Even with the surrounding area being so large, the word can still travel fast.”
After attending his high school reunion earlier this year, Howard learned that despite the distance of 40 years, his old classmates still want nothing to do with him.

Setting Boundaries

We’ve all more than likely come across a person with seemingly narcissistic characteristics. We’ve read about them in the news or turned to various articles in an attempt to make sense of their erratic behavior.
It’s likely we’ve emotionally labored over whether to cut a loved one loose because of their toxicity—in many cases, with good reason. As previously noted on HealthyWay, people with narcissistic personality disorder can be pushy, hostile, and otherwise manipulative in their romantic relationships.
“If a person is hurt by an NPD person who does not have any insight, then it is incumbent on that person to protect themselves and not try to change the NPD person,” Dabney says.

“[Setting boundaries is] a really acute part of examining how you want to proceed with a narcissist,” Sal Raichbach, PsyD, told HealthyWay earlier this year. “You might decide to stay with this person, [or] you might decide to retract and find other people to interact with, but if you’re going to be in a relationship with a narcissist, you have to have solid boundaries. You have to be willing to enforce them, and you have to not get caught up in the guilt that can come with [enforcement].”

“You have to be prepared not to provide the ‘supply’ that [the narcissist will need] all the time,” she says, “or be prepared to lose yourself.”

With all that said, the question remains: Can narcissism be overcome?

Between Hope and a Hard Place

There is no consensus on narcissistic personality disorder. For every expert who believes the disorder has no cure, there is another who encourages patience and understanding.
Is it possible to be hopeful about a disorder that makes it hard to empathize with? Shouldn’t we just cut our losses and sever contact with people who display these tendencies?
In short: Yes and no.

A narcissist before and after years of treatment can seem like two entirely different people.
As Dabney notes, there are many shades of NPD, and those on the healthier end of the spectrum possess more insight. “They usually can see their track record of stilted, damaged, or destroyed relationships and want to know how to ‘fix’ it.”
Since empathizing with a narcissist can put our own emotional well-being in jeopardy, Dabney advises a more realistic approach. “Understanding that narcissists developed their patterns of behavior when they were young, as a protection from someone close to them who was [treating them inappropriately], may help people see that they are just wielding a battered, broken, spiky, and ineffective shield. They aren’t evil.”

That said, treatment can span years—often a decade or more. And while cultivating our own sense of empathy is one thing, drawing firm boundaries should take center stage.
As for Howard, learning about his narcissistic tendencies helped him improve certain aspects of his life. While he’d like to remain hopeful, he has his doubts. “When you have gone so many years using people, even if you know what you’re doing, you’re still going to do it.”

Overall, what he hopes people would understand about NPD is that this isn’t how he wants to treat others. “It’s the illness that causes [me] to treat them that way.”
But one thing he feels strongly about is the need for more conversations like these.
“If people were educated on the signs of mental illness they may be able to save a friend going through what I have.”

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Favorite Finds

35 Amazon Gifts For The Fitness Fanatic In Your Life

Post author By HealthyWay Staff Writer
Post date November 7, 2018

The trouble with buying for a true fitness fanatic is that they already have everything they need for an intense daily workout. Weights? Check. Fitbit? Check. Water bottle, post-workout protein shake, lots of sweaty towels? Check, check, and check.

We hunted through Amazon’s Sports and Fitness department for gifts that workout enthusiasts will love—but don’t have in their in-home weight rooms already. If you’re buying for an avid crossfitter, runner, or MMA hopeful, these gifts will fit the bill.

1. Give the gift of an amazing upper body workout.

It’s hard to get fit without a pull-up bar. But did you know that these devices are great for much more than simple pull-ups? Install this workout bar from Iron Gym in any conventional doorway for a total gym experience.

With one of these, the exercise-lover in your life can do dips, chin-ups, push-ups, and crunches, let alone your standard pull-up. Advanced features include three grip positions to work out different muscle groups, comfortable foam grips, and a totally nail/screw-free hanging system. Throw it in the closet in between uses.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Iron-Total-Upper-Body-Workout/dp/B07FMTY5SH”]Iron Gym Upper Body Workout Bar, $25.91 from Amazon[/link-button]

2. If you think crunches are hard, wait until you try them…upside down.

Abs are the holy grail of workouts. No matter how many sit-ups and crunches you do, it’s tough to flatten that stomach out, let alone show off sculpted musculature around your navel. The trick, it turns out, is to exercise with an inversion table.

This option from Innova isn’t the cheapest gift on the list, but for the exercise junkie eager to take the next step toward abs-ville, it’s a must-have device for the home gym. Give this as a gift; they’ll be impressed.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Innova-ITX9600-Inversion-Adjustable-Protective/dp/B003QCI4GG”]Innova ITX9600 Heavy Duty Inversion Table, $124.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

3. Encourage your fit friend to support those wrists during strength-training exercises.

Whether they’re lifting weights or just doing push-ups, your fitness-forward buddies need to take care of their wrists. Most upper-body strength-training exercises place a lot of strain on the humble joint, and an injury can throw off a fitness plan by months.

These wrist-wraps come complete with a thumb loop for maximum support. Choose the less-stiff option for most exercises; if the recipient plans to go in for some heavy lifting, though, give them the stiff model.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Rip-Toned-Wrist-Wraps-Professional/dp/B07CHDVCTG”]Rip Toned Wrist Wraps, $12.45 from Amazon[/link-button]

4. Workout enthusiasts can never have too many exercise balls.

Maybe your friend or loved one already has an exercise ball. But does she have one at home, one at the office, and one in the trunk for last-minute yoga in the park?

The whole line of URBNFit exercise balls boast a non-slip surface and anti-burst construction. They’re ideal for keeping the core engaged when sitting at the computer, core training, and stretching. Even better, they inflate quickly with an included, easy-to-use pump.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/URBNFit-Exercise-Multiple-Fitness-Stability/dp/B07BL6XCRJ”]URBNFit Exercise Balls, $9.99 to $26.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

5. Every athlete could use a foam roller, but few of them know that.

Everyone who works out needs to make time for rehab. Foam rollers are an inexpensive tool that can make a big difference on sore muscles. These rollers from AmazonBasics are incredibly simple, but they’re durable enough for years of use.

Recipients can use them for muscle rehab—particularly for the legs and back—or to complete core-training moves on the yoga mat. Amazon makes the product in seven colors, so you can pick the gift receiver’s favorite. They may not know they need one, but trust us: They do.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics-High-Density-Roller-Speckled-Colors/dp/B018KFP8E4″]AmazonBasics Foam Roller, $9.89 from Amazon[/link-button]

6. When in doubt, add to their dumbbell collection.

Is there any exercise tool more versatile than a stack of dumbbells? Lightweight models add a bit of resistance training to any standard cardio workout. Keep inching up the pounds to veer into strict strength-training territory.

This set from AmazonBasics includes a pair of neoprene-covered dumbbells in your choice of weights, from just one pound up to a whopping 20 pounds. Maybe sneak a glance into the recipient’s workout room before choosing the right pair.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics-Neoprene-Dumbbells/dp/B073CT2YS5″]AmazonBasics Neoprene Dumbbells, $8.49 from Amazon[/link-button]

7. Blending protein shakes shouldn’t require an actual blender.

If you’ve watched a friend stir a post-workout protein shake with a spoon, this is the gift to give. They call it a BlenderBottle, which is a pretty fair description. It’s a 28 ounce–capacity drinking bottle with a wire whisk ball for easy mixing.

Just throw in some protein powder and liquid, and give it a shake. No more spoons, let alone full-on blenders. Plus, the unique cap is designed to stay open, so it won’t snap shut on you mid-gulp. Get one for yourself while you’re at it.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/BlenderBottle-Classic-Loop-Shaker-Bottle/dp/B07CNGR8TW”]BlenderBottle Classic Shaker Bottle, $12.98 from Amazon[/link-button]

8. We’ve all got that one friend without a FitBit. Here’s a great, cost-friendly alternative.

You’d have to be pretty close to someone to give them a name-brand FitBit. For more casual workout buddies, why not get most of the benefits, without dropping such a large sum? This fitness tracker from LETSCOM tracks essential vital signs and syncs with workout apps to collect data.

The LETSCOM fitness tracker sits comfortably on the wrist, where it tracks footsteps, calories, heart rate, sleep, and more. You can even set it to warn you when you’ve been sedentary for too long at a stretch. Oh, it also alerts you to social messages from your phone, plus it’s preloaded with 14 distinct exercise modes.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/LETSCOM-Fitness-Activity-Waterproof-Pedometer/dp/B07GCM9N72″]LETSCOM Fitness Tracker HR, $29.98 from Amazon[/link-button]

9. Upgrade their FitBit with a stylish steel band.

Even if your workout partner already has a FitBit, chances are they’re still using the original rubber wristband. They can do better than that! A company called SWEES makes a line of colorful stainless steel replacement bands that look as great as they feel.

Choose from an astounding range of colors, from chromed silver to rose gold. The bands attach easily to FitBits and sit comfortably on the wrist. They’re woven with plenty of space, so sweat and airflow pass right on through. If you’re looking for a gift for the FitBit wearer with a broken band, here’s your best option.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/SWEES-Compatible-Stainless-Replacement-Wristband/dp/B01MQLTIAL”]SWEES Replacement Wristbands for FitBit, $8.49 to $13.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

10. This resistance band set is perfect for traveling.

When you’ve got limited carry-on space, every inch counts. Resistance bands allow for excellent strength training, and they don’t take up much space—plus, they’re easy on your joints. That’s a win-win-win. Yes, it’s three wins.

This set from Limm includes five 12-inch flexbands, along with a convenient travel case and an e-book. The bands are made with TPE-free natural latex, so they’re free from unpleasant odors, and they’re vesatile enough to fit into any workout regimen.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Limm-Resistance-Bands-Exercise-Loops/dp/B0136PR5TO”]Limm Exercise Band Set, $9.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

11. Even with a high-quality yoga mat, knee pain is pretty much unavoidable.

When “downward dog” becomes “downward dog, but, like, a dog with really bad knees,” this cushion comes to the rescue. It’s over a half inch in thickness, so it provides plenty of protection on hardwood floors and other unforgiving surfaces, and it can also function as an effective yoga mat extender in a pinch.

The material is high-density NBR foam, which is both comfortable and long lasing. It’s also lightweight, so it works well for travel, and it’s large enough to accommodate all body types.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/d/Yoga-Mats/SukhaMat-Yoga-Knee-Pad-Complements/B01CH25MWY”]SukhaMat Yoga Knee Pad Cushion, $18.95 from Amazon[/link-button]

12. To build a great home gym, start with the floor.

You know what professional gyms have that their home-based counterparts usually don’t? Exercise mats. A bit of cushion between you and the concrete can improve comfort and safety during all sorts of workouts, from lifting weights to simple crunches.

This protective flooring comes in puzzle-piece-edged squares. Assemble multiple tiles to create a soft mat that fits the space perfectly. In this particular set, you’ll find six two-foot-square tiles and 12 border pieces. A gift like this will win you a lot of points.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/ProSource-Exercise-Interlocking-Protective-Equipment/dp/B00KHT4L1I”]ProSource Puzzle Exercise Mat, $20.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

13. If you’ve got a cardio-fiend on your gift list, here’s something for them.

No matter your fitness goals, cardio is crucial, and it’s hard to beat jumping rope to get that blood pumping. Speed ropes have been a staple of boxing gyms for a long time, but now pretty much everyone is getting into the habit.

This speed rope from Survival and Cross has a few features that recommend it over simpler products. It includes steel ball bearings for extra speed. It also provides extra hardware for when you inevitably jump it to pieces. All in all, this is a strong contender for a basic gym staple.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Survival-Cross-Jump-Rope-International/dp/B00LGXE5NS”]Survival and Cross Jump Rope, $10 from Amazon[/link-button]

14. Help your gym buddies get organized.

Trainers will tell you that consistency is key to actually making changes in your body. Still, some of us have a hard time keeping track of where we are on a day-to-day basis. Was yesterday leg day? Or were you supposed to throw in some extra stretches?

Here’s a fitness log book that will keep anyone on the straight and narrow path to their personal fitness goals. It tracks exercises, reps, weight, targeted muscle group, and cardio. There’s even a space to add nutrition notes. Sure, a lot of people use apps to stick to a workout plan. For those who don’t, though, this gift could make the difference between success and backsliding.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Workout-Book-Fitness-Journal-Illustrations/dp/B073CGGGQ3″]Workout Log Book & Fitness Journal, $14.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

15. We could all use a little motivation every now and then.

That’s especially true when you’re cruising toward the gym on your way home from a long, tiring day at work. It’d be so easy to roll right by; you could be eating ice cream and watching Netflix in moments.

It’s times like these that a motivational wristband can really make a difference. This pack of 10 silicone bracelets has your back. “Success is a state of mind,” they remind you. “Believe anything is possible.” If you have a friend who’s starting to skip gym dates, these could be an excellent gift. On the other hand, they could come across as sort of passive aggressive, so, as always, gift wisely.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/10-pack-Success-Focus-Believe-Inspirational/dp/B077CZMMF2″]Motivational Silicone Rubber Wristbands, Pack of 10, $17.95 from Amazon[/link-button]

16. Who needs a stair stepper when you’ve got a single step?

Sure, those stair-stepping machines at your local gym are awesome, but someone’s always using the best one, and you end up with the machine that keeps jumping forward two steps. No? Just us?

Well, KLB Sports offers a perfectly fine elevated platform at a great price, that’ll get the recipient working their lower body or incorporating into flexibility workouts. It’s an ideal gift since it’s the type of thing you might not buy for yourself, but once you’ve got one, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it. The kit includes four risers, four additional rubber feet, and free instructional materials.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/KLB-Sport-Adjustable-Workout-Exercise/dp/B01G6T8ZUK”]KLB Sports 31″ Adjustable Workout Aerobic Stepper, $37.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

17. Keep your heart rate up throughout the workday.

If you have trouble finding the time for cardio, this novel elliptical should make your life much easier. Store it under your desk; when you’re ready to burn a few calories, start pedaling. It uses Bluetooth to sync with Apple Healthkit, Fitbit, or Cubii Pro’s proprietary mobile app, and you can choose from eight resistance levels to change the intensity of your workouts.

Thanks to whisper-quiet operation, you won’t annoy family members or co-workers, and it assembles in seconds. The only downside: Once your friend opens this, they won’t have any excuse for missing their workouts.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Cubii-Elliptical-Bluetooth-Adjustable-Resistance/dp/B0189VJD1I/”]Cubii Pro Under-Desk Elliptical, $349 from Amazon[/link-button]

18. Make it easy to bulk up on protein.

Say you’ve got a friend who’s on an intense strength-training program. They’re going to need a lot of protein, and Cheerios just won’t cut it. Try giving them a box of RXBars instead. These protein-based meals are made entirely of whole ingredients, so they’re an additive-free experience.

They even print the ingredients on the front of the label. Each bar is packed with egg whites, nuts, and dates for a guilt-free blast of powerful protein. It’s just what muscles need to grow. People say they taste alright, too.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/RXBAR-Whole-Protein-Variety-Flavors/dp/B018H3LFJG”]RXBars, Pack of 12, $27.50 from Amazon[/link-button]

19. To add some variety to a tired workout, just gamify it.

Working out with the same crew and the same tired routine every day can get old. Boredom is a sure ticket to slack. Help the folks on your gift list put the game back in their workout with a set of fitness dice that randomize moves for some serious exercise.

They call Strength Stack 52 a “game,” but it’s more like a contest of endurance. These exercises were designed to burn fat and bulk up muscle, and that’s just what they do. Roll the dice, follow the directions, and get fit with friends.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Stack-52-Bodyweight-Instructions-Included/dp/B0164I82O2″]Strength Stack 52 Sweat Dice, $37.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

20. Pump some iron…er, water.

This novel water bottle holds 2.2 liters of water. It’s functional as an adjustable dumbbell, but it’s also just a cool-looking water bottle; pack this in your gym bag, and it’s sure to spark a few conversations.

It shows that you’re aware of the recipient’s love of exercise while still functioning as a sort of gag gift. Per the Amazon reviews, it’s a high-quality water bottle, so it’s actually usable for its intended purpose, and it might compel someone to start hydrating properly during their workouts. Made with eco-friendly materials.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Dumbbell-Eco-Friendly-Exercise-Outdoors-Transparent/dp/B0725GDCBV”]Dumbbell-Shaped Water Bottle, $13.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

21. Of course, gifts don’t have to be functional.

This chic charm bracelet certainly fits the bill. The zinc alloy charms include a couple of dumbells—including one that’s bending under its own weight because, you know, pumping iron is awesome—and a “strong is beautiful” message.

Each bracelet comes in a gift box, so you can easily wrap it and deliver it to your favorite iron fiend. It’s expandable, so for an extra touch, pick up a cheap personalized charm.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/beautiful-Dumbbell-bracelet-weightlifting-Exercise/dp/B01MQ22WG6″]Strong Is Beautiful Charm Bracelet, $13.50 from Amazon[/link-button]

22. This fruit-infuser water bottle provides an easy way to stay hydrated.

We have trouble drinking enough water after workouts, but infused water makes it easier to stay hydrated and healthy; that’s why this bottle is so handy. Put any fruit or vegetable into the center capsule, add water, then wait (or simply shake a few times for a lighter flavor). It’s made with BPA-free Tritan plastic, which is shatterproof and dishwasher safe.

The manufacturer provides a 100 percent customer satisfaction guarantee along with a lifetime guarantee on the materials. It’s great for runners, hikers, or gymrats, and the included recipe book provides everything you need to get started.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Organics-Fruit-Infuser-Bottle-Tritan/dp/B01NCTFTPV”]LA Organics Fruit Infuser Water Bottle, $8.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

23. Speaking of hydration…

Let’s say you want to drink a gallon of water each day. You start in the morning with a glass, then grab a cup at work, then…well, you lose track. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

This single-gallon water bottle lets you track your intake in a simple intuitive way. The side of the container includes motivating messages, along with timestamps to guide you throughout the day. Made with BPA-free plastic, it’s available in several colors, all of which use the same odor-free material.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Gallon-Hydration-Tracker-Time-Throughout-Hydrated/dp/B07C4WLRPL/”]BuildLife Motivational Water Bottle, $13.78 to $17.96 from Amazon[/link-button]

24. Say goodbye to that dusty old gym bag.

For years, our gym bag was an old backpack from high school. It worked well enough, but it built up odors over time, and we always had trouble stuffing our shoes into it without getting dirt all over our clothes. A high-quality gym bag really makes those trips to the gym more enjoyable, and this is one of the best dedicated duffels we’ve seen.

Made with waterproof, scratch-resistant material, it has several zippered pockets and a dedicated shoe compartment. There’s a wet-dry separation layer, which helps to keep everything sanitary, and the manufacturer offers a lifetime warranty.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/INOXTO-Fitness-Compartment-Waterproof-Travel/dp/B073F7VR87″]INOXTO Fitness Bag with Shoe Compartment, $26.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

25. Turn those tough HIIT workouts into a (sort of) fun game.

Okay, when you’re pushing yourself to new levels of fitness, “fun” might not be the right word, but this card game really works. We’ve written about the HIIT workout before, but in case you missed it, here’s the gist: By running through high-intensity intervals, you burn more fat and build more muscle without spending hours at the gym.

Developed by military fitness expert Sergeant Volkin, this game provides a simple way to jump into the HIIT lifestyle. Pull out the cards, roll the dice, and do the exercises; for extra guidance, scan the cards with a smartphone for a brief instructional video. It’s simple, effective, and ideal for getting varied, intense workouts in just a few minutes without any additional equipment.
[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Stack-52-HIIT-Instructions-Bodyweight/dp/B00UBZ1BNE”]Stack 52 HIIT Interval Workout Game, $29.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

26. For a hardcore cardio workout, nothing beats boxing.

And no, you don’t need to get punched in the face to enjoy a good boxing-based workout. A few minutes with a heavybag can burn a ton of calories while building valuable self-defense skills. Just be sure to bring your own gloves—while many boxing gyms have loaner gloves, they smell like a dead penguin. You can quote us on that.

Everlast is the most famous name in boxing equipment for good reason; their products last forever, and they’re built with high-quality features that keep athletes safe. These training gloves feature a ThumbLok, which maintains correct thumb positioning to prevent injury, along with full padding on the front and back of the wrist. They’re available in several sizes; generally speaking, heavier gloves are a better choice for inexperienced boxers, since they provide more padding.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Everlast-1200014-Style-Training-Gloves/dp/B000JF4HNC”]Everlast Pro Style Training Gloves, $19.19 and Up from Amazon[/link-button]

27. Of course, gloves aren’t useful without something to hit.

This freestanding punching bag is heavy—we suppose that’s where the name “heavy bag” comes from—but it has plenty of high-end features for boxing enthusiasts. Fill the base with sand or water, and it weighs an impressive 250 pounds; that means that you can’t really knock it over unless you’re packing a George Foreman punch, and it rebounds quickly after each hit for optimal resistance.

It’s also adjustable, with seven height settings in three-inch increments. Granted, this isn’t the most practical gift, but if you know someone who’s getting into boxing or looking for a more intense cardio workout, it’s a fantastic pickup at a great price.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Century-Original-Wavemaster-Training-Blue/dp/B000EZYT3K”]Century Wavemaster Freestanding Heavy Bag, $139.89 from Amazon[/link-button]

28. You can never have enough headbands.

When you’re in the middle of an extreme workout, long hair can quickly become a liability. These sports headbands are designed to maintain a secure fit while wicking away moisture, and they come in a 4-pack which is fortunate since these things can easily wind up misplaced if you’re a regular gym-goer.

Wear a neutral color for a nondescript look, or go for the more vibrant ones if you want a little pop in your getup. Either way, the sporty design looks stylish, and the silicone bars prevent slipping, even if you’re working up a serious sweat.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/LUCKYGO-Headbands-Absorbent-Non-slip-Sweatbands/dp/B07BVZ96ZD”]LUCKYGO 4-Pack Sweatbands, $13.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

29. Work those legs with this remarkably affordable mini-trampoline.

Here’s a gift that will get plenty of use right out of the box. After all, everyone loves a trampoline—especially when you don’t have to worry about accidentally flying into your neighbor’s yard.

Thirty tension bands provide stability during the most intense jumping workouts. Capable of holding weights of up to 250 pounds, it’s an incredible value at under $30, and the manufacturer offers three online workout videos to help you get started (we’d just check out YouTube; there are plenty of great trampoline workout tutorials for beginners). It weighs less than 14 pounds, so it’s great for traveling, and it folds up for easy storage.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Stamina-Trampoline-Workouts-Included-Supports/dp/B000JC2ZHA”]Stamina 36-Inch Folding Trampoline, $29.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

30. This is the perfect gym bag for seriously buff workout buffs.

It’s a complete workout set with everything a seasoned weightlifter needs to hit the gym. The kit includes a large gym bag, a leather weighlifting belt, a steel-chained dip belt, and padded wrist straps. The high-quality belts are a major upgrade from the (slightly smelly) belts you’d find at the gym, and they’re backed by a lifetime guarantee.

This makes an awesome gift for bodybuilders, but it’s also a fine choice for anyone who’s just getting into strength training.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Iron-Ambitions-Ultimate-Weightlifting-Bundle/dp/B07BFPBS9F”]Iron Ambition Ultimate Weighlifting Bundle, $68.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

31. Wrist pain can quickly derail a workout.

Wrist wraps help to prevent pain by keeping the wrists in the correct position, limiting unnecessary movement (and therefore, unnecessary damage). They’re essential gear, but most people don’t keep them on hand (literally).

Rogue Fitness’s straps are designed to fit wrists of all sizes, and they’re made from an easy-to-clean material—that’s important, as you’d know if you’d ever smelled a pair of wrist straps after a hard workout. Hey, the less said about that, the better. In any case, these are some of the most affordable straps we could find on Amazon, and they don’t skimp on the quality. They’re available in multiple colors, so feel free to accessorize.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Rogue-Fitness-Available-Multiple-Colors/dp/B01MY2OOKZ”]Rogue Fitness Wrist Straps, $19.75 to $30.49 from Amazon[/link-button]

32. Enjoy more flexibility (and less joint pain) with this mobility tape.

A good workout routine includes a few high-intensity exercises, but if you’ve got painful joints, that’s not always an option. RockFloss is useful stuff, despite its slightly goofy name. It’s a high-quality compression tape that uses compression to prevent fascial shearing—basically, it keeps blood flowing around muscles and joints to improve flexibility and limit pain.

It’s useful for just about any painful part of your body, including shoulders, wrists, knees, elbows, ankles, and hips, although the manufaturer notes that you should never use the tape on your head or neck (and if you did, you’d probably get a few weird looks at the gym). Price varies by size, so if you’re buying as a gift, be sure to check the sizing before ordering.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Rocktape-RockFloss-Compression-Recovery-Mobility/dp/B074Z1S5HG”]Rocktape RockFloss Tack Mobility Band, $17.99 and Up from Amazon[/link-button]

33. Cool off with these next-generation gym towels.

Made with eco-friendly materials, these soft mesh towels are a lifesaver. Dip them in water, wring them out, then use them to wipe off; they absorb sweat while leaving your skin feeling cool and refreshed. While they’re designed for high-intensity exercise, they’re also great for treating headaches and fevers, and each towel comes in a waterproof plastic pouch for easy storage.

Each lightweight towel is free from chemicals and odors, and they’re machine washable (just use the gentle cycle). Choose from multiple colors.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/Lsoua-Absorbent-Cooling-Instant-Relief/dp/B073RDJYXP”]Lsoua Super-Absorbent Cooling Towel, $4.99 from Amazon[/link-button]

34. Night runs can be exhilarating, but proper safety gear is absolutely essential.

At the very minimum, runners should hit the road with an extra light source. These ankle lights are an excellent choice, as they help to light the path while making an athlete more visible to oncoming vehicles.

They’re fairly lightweight, and an included battery provides hours of visible light for each LED. Attach them to your leg, arm, or any other convenient spot—they’re also easy to attach to a dog collar for night walks, for instance—and enjoy a safer workout. If you know a jogger or runner who works a day job, these make a spectacular stocking stuffer.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/iotrevor-fitness-Fashionable-Running-Armbands/dp/B01NAWARCN”]Iotrevor Reflective Running Lights, Set of Two, $14.97 from Amazon[/link-button]

35. Add a bit of resistance to any cardio workout.

These ankle weights can dramatically alter the intensity of any exercise while strengthening your legs (or arms, since they double as wrist weights). The inner side has a breathable material that prevents heat from building up, while an adjustable strap on the outside accommodates most ankles easily.

They’re color coded by weight, so be sure to check out all of the options before ordering; the blue weights provide two pounds of added resistance.

[link-button href=”https://www.amazon.com/REEHUT-Adjustable-Exercise-Gymnastics-Aerobics/dp/B01M2CZT4N”]REEHUT Ankle/Wrist Weights, $22.39 from Amazon[/link-button]

Tags Commerce, social

Life x Culture Lifestyle

Why “Find Your Passion” Isn’t The Career Advice You Really Need To Hear

Post author By Wendy Rose Gould
Post date October 23, 2018

There are a number of popular quotes floating around about finding the perfect career. For example, one says, “It’s a beautiful thing when a career and a passion come together,” and another states, “You’ll never work a day in your life if you’re doing something you love.” The philosophy behind these quotes is wholly ingrained in our society.
From early adolescence and deep into adulthood, many people earnestly scribble these sorts of sayings into their journals or recite them as mantras while thinking about and pursuing their professional goals. To be fair, spending time figuring out what you love to do and then actually doing it sounds idyllic. However, researchers are urging people to press pause on this approach before ramming full speed toward a “passionate career”—and slamming into a wall of disappointment.

Surprising New Research Says…

A 2018 study conducted jointly by Stanford and Yale-NUS College in Singapore challenged the well-meaning advice of “find your passion” through a study that included 126 undergraduate university students.
Paul O’Keefe, co-author of the study, said researchers focused on this demographic because undergrads are “at a time in their life when they’re being bombarded with the idea that you have to go out and find your passion.” Over the course of five different experiments conducted with the same sample participants, researchers examined each of the students’ “implicit theories of interest” and how those interests might affect their career pursuits.

The study results were surprising, but they also make a lot of sense. Researchers point out that the notion of channeling all your energy toward finding “a passion” assumes we all have a passion to find in the first place. This can be exhausting and discouraging if you never actually “find” said passion.
Furthermore, they argue that seeking out a career that is directly related to your passion is akin to putting on blinders that prevent you from pursuing a range of interests. In doing so, you might miss out on finding a career that you’re either A) really good at or B) could enjoy equally (if not more so) than to your “passion.”

Finding the Path Toward a Meaningful, Fulfilling Career

It’s important to note that the study’s conclusion wasn’t that you should do something that you hate or are dispassionate about. Rather, it argues that you shouldn’t get caught up in “finding a passion” that might not exist or forcing a passion that may not yield a viable career. It also stresses the importance of not limiting yourself as you explore potential career paths.
Barbara Cox, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in executive stress and professional burnout says this resonates with her:

I do see some clients who already know what their passion is but are afraid to go for it out of underlying fear. However, a large majority of people need to explore many options to discover what they excel at. They may even be surprised to find out they enjoy things that they may not have tried if they only did things they were used to doing.

In that sense, she reiterates how crucial it is to be open to new experiences before charging down one specific path. She also says that the journey toward finding a meaningful career varies depending on the person.

“One of the best ways [to test different career paths] nowadays is to complete a variety of internships both in high school and college. This allows you to try on different experiences and to weed out what you don’t like early on rather than [having to] figure it out when you have a midlife crisis,” she explains.
Donna Lorraine Schilder, a career coach with the International Coach Federation, has over 20 years of experience helping executives and entrepreneurs determine what they should be doing with their lives and in their professions. She says that while some people may not have a true passion, she believes that most people can ultimately identify a career that they’re excited about and that aligns with their personality, strengths, and desired lifestyle.

In addition to exploring a variety of paths, she also stresses the importance of determining what your strengths are.
“Martin Seligman, in his book Authentic Happiness, put forth his research that showed that if people use their ‘Values in Action’ in their work, they feel more fulfilled and therefore happier,” says Schilder. “So, if a coaching client comes to us seeking meaningful work, we are sure to include the VIA Strengths Inventory [developed by Seligman] in their career exploration actions. Then, we put all of the possible careers into a matrix and help the client rate each one to determine which possibilities match them the most closely.”

Services like this offer another way for people to expand their horizons and explore their interests and strengths. This may be more realistic for someone who’s already out of the high school or college age range.
Lastly, it’s important to acknowledge that “non-glamorous” jobs are vital to our communities. These run the gamut, but examples include plumbing, janitorial work, and highly demanding and stressful technical and medical work.

While many people are turned off by such career paths, that’s not necessarily the case for everyone, says Schilder. She says that many people actually do feel rewarded and fulfilled by jobs that aren’t considered glamorous by society at large. Also, the personal fulfillment factor may be outweighed by other (arguably equally important) factors, such as connecting with other people (e.g. medical and maintenance work) or high pay (e.g. plumbing and tech).

Waning happiness at work? Try this.

We’re not here to blow sunshine up anyone’s skirt. Work is hard, and even if you’re incredibly passionate about your field, you can still experience bouts of frustration, burnout, or general unhappiness. If your situation begins to feel unbearable, try utilizing the following expert advice:

Grab coffee with your co-workers.

“If you’re struggling to find joy in your current line of work, ask a co-worker who loves the work what they enjoy about it and model that,” advises Cox. Doing this offers you a fresh perspective and can reignite the passion that led you to accept the job offer to begin with.

Make some lists.

Schilder says you should try writing down the things you like doing in your job as well as the things you don’t. “Come up with ways you could do more of what brings you joy, and ways to do less of what you don’t like doing.

Delegate with permission from your boss, automate mundane tasks, find someone that likes doing what you don’t like to do and see if they can take on some of the work,” she says.

Address issues with your boss.

On that note, communicate with your boss about issues you feel can be addressed and improved over time. “If it’s appropriate and your boss would be open to it, talk about how your job could be redesigned to give you more of what you like and less of what you don’t like,” says Schilder.

Remember, you’re a valuable asset to your employer and your happiness is vital to their success. Also, a problem cannot be resolved if nobody knows there’s an issue in the first place.

Practice gratefulness.

Another good list to make, says Schilder, is one that includes all the things you love about your job. Read it over every morning before work.

Take a vacation.

Burnout is completely normal and is something that even the most dedicated and passionate employees experience. In fact, those who are hyper-invested in their careers run a particular risk of burnout since they may be less likely to step away from the office.

Interestingly, a 2017 study found that people who don’t use their vacation time are less likely to receive a promotion, raise, or bonus compared to those who did take their earned PTO. Stepping away allows you to regenerate and reconnect with yourself, thereby improving your creativity, energy levels, and general gusto.

Invest in a hobby.

“If your 9 to 5 job doesn’t hold any passion for you, I would suggest you find volunteer work or a hobby that does hold some passion for you so that you feel a sense of gratification in your life,” says Cox. This can also apply if you’re experiencing burnout or are feeling stuck in your career.

In the same way taking a vacation can help you recharge, so can spending time on a hobby. Consider signing up for a painting class, starting an at-home project, throwing yourself into a fitness routine, joining a chorus, or signing up for a weekly trivia night.

Consult with an expert.

Cox says that if you’re truly miserable in your job, it’s time to consult a pro. “I suggest going to a career coach and discussing what brings you happiness and get some concrete ways to implement a plan,” she says.

As is the case with most things, finding a fulfilling career is not a “one size fits all” mold. Our goal isn’t to espouse one thing or another, but rather to encourage you to think critically about your approach to finding a fulfilling and sustainable career.

Tags social

Conscious Beauty Lifestyle Mindful Parenting Motherhood

How Young Is Too Young For Makeup? From The Lipstick Effect To The Neurosis Of Glamor, There’s A Lot To Consider

Post author By Rachel Murphy
Post date October 18, 2018

Playing dress-up isn’t an uncommon activity for children of all ages, but at what point does playing pretend—and, specifically, applying and wearing makeup—become too adult of a pastime for kids who are still developing both physically and emotionally?
For some parents, that can be a difficult question to ponder, while for others, a definitive answer about how young is too young for makeup is clear.

On the one hand, some will argue that there’s no harm in letting a child wear a little blush around the house or lip gloss to the grocery store. “It’s just for fun,” a parent might say. “It makes my kid happy and doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Others, however, contend that espousing cosmetics for kids sends a negative message about self-worth by putting too much emphasis on outer beauty at too early an age. Followers of this school of thought believe makeup equals over-sexualization and that it can have dangerous long-term effects.
[pullquote align=”center”]Over half of 12- to 14-year-olds use mascara, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and eyebrow pencils. And 45 percent of that same group of children use foundation and concealer products.[/pullquote]
Both arguments have merit, of course, and many will tell you it’s a question with no wrong answers. Still sorting out your own view on the subject? Here’s what two moms and two mental-health professionals have to say.

How young is too young?

A study by marketing intelligence agency Mintel found that 80 percent of 9- to 11-year-olds in the U.S. use some form of beauty and personal care products. More specifically, over half of 12- to 14-year-olds use mascara, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and eyebrow pencils. And 45 percent of that same group of children use foundation and concealer products.

These percentages include both boys and girls in those age ranges. And while most parents are less likely to worry about their sons’ relationships with cosmetic products, the study goes on to note that 69 percent of boys in the same age range use products including facial cleansers, cologne, lip moisturizers, and hair styling mousses, gels, and creams.
Of course, makeup usage tends to elicit more raised eyebrows than cleansers, lip care, and hair styling products, maybe because it’s associated with altering one’s appearance—or maybe because cosmetic products are more gendered than other personal care products.

According to Alan E. Kazdin, Sterling Professor of psychology and professor of child psychiatry at Yale University, there is no magic age at which a child should or should not wear makeup.
[pullquote align=”center”]“Oftentimes in our culture, wearing makeup is used as a way to enhance sex appeal. …I think this is what we fear most as parents about sharing makeup with children.”
—Erick Kenneth French, LCSW[/pullquote]
“There are several factors that dictate when a child begins to wear makeup, including a culture, a parent’s socioeconomic status, a child’s peers—it’s multi-determined,” says Kazdin. “There’s no age that you can say, ‘Okay, buy them everything.’”
This resonates with Erick Kenneth French, a licensed clinical social worker and author of the graphic novel Iphelia: Awakening the Gift of Feeling, who challenges us to consider that “wearing makeup can mean different things in different cultures,” i.e., it’s not necessarily all about selfies and Sephora.
“Having spent time in India and a local Indian community here in St. Louis, I feel that makeup and dress can be worn for spiritually devotional purposes,” he shares. “In many cultures in the east—India, Nepal, Pakistan—wearing eyeliner can be a way of protecting the eyes of a child from the sun, protecting the child from negative spiritual influences such as ‘the evil eye,’ and drawing attention to the eyes rather than just one’s physical form.”

As our communities become increasingly multicultural, it’s worth keeping in mind that our children’s peers will have different experiences with cosmetics that are uniquely influenced by their own families of origin.
“The most important thing to consider when sharing any activity with your children is what you’re being and what you’re teaching them to be when they engage in the activity,” French says. “In the case of makeup, your child’s experience of what you are being when you wear makeup yourself will strongly impact what it means to wear makeup for themselves.”
He also shares an anecdote from his practice that’s apt to stir up a lot of feeling for adults on either side of the fence:

Just the other day, I had couple in my office describing a recurrent argument about this that has escalated over time. The mother was allowing her 6-year-old daughter and a friend who was over to put makeup on. When the husband came home from work and saw them, he felt triggered and threatened to leave his wife if she didn’t have his daughter remove the makeup before leaving the house.

Why is makeup so triggering—even for dads?

“In some subcultures in this country, wearing makeup simply means putting yourself together and being presentable as a woman,” says French. “But oftentimes in our culture, wearing makeup is used as a way to enhance sex appeal and perhaps further objectify oneself so as to increase magnetism and power over others. I think this is what we fear most as parents about sharing makeup with children.”

However a parent feels, Kazdin says it can be a challenge for them to balance their preferences and ideals with a realistic view of how their child will be received by their peers and whatever community they’re being raised in.
Kazdin understands why parents might dig their heels in when it comes to tattoos and piercings, acknowledging that they’re “more enduring in terms of impact,” but says that if a child “wears torn jeans and a punk orange hairdo, a parent should probably yield to that because that style is going to drop off and go away.”

He encourages parents not to take a firm yes or no stance when it comes to children wearing makeup, but rather to find a happy medium that allows them to wear a certain amount of makeup in a controlled environment.
“We are all looking for the fine line of ‘This age is okay to wear makeup’ and ‘This is the age when it’s not okay,’” says Kazdin. “But the parent has to be thoughtful and realistic about it while holding up their standards and helping their kid navigate the pressures of childhood.”

A “Guerilla Feminist” View on Makeup (and Heels)

Katia Grubisic, a mom of two daughters ages 1 and 3, is acutely aware that a child’s view of themselves and how they fit into the outside world starts an early age.
“Gendering is so prevalent and can be so insidious for both girls and boys,” says Grubisic, who is a self-described “guerrilla feminist” mom. “I’d like my children to grow up with an open field that includes both makeup and fire trucks. As long as society is pitching one relentlessly over the other, I try my best to balance the equation.”
[pullquote align=”center”]At least one in five girls ages 8 to 18 has negative feelings about themselves when they are not wearing makeup.[/pullquote]
In Grubisic’s mind, age 13—about the time her daughters will start high school—is when she feels it’s appropriate for them to start wearing makeup in addition to being trusted with other more grown-up privileges, like having a cell phone and taking public transportation alone.
Grubisic, who lives in Montreal, says she wasn’t allowed to wear makeup as a child, and it wasn’t something she pined to do or felt like she was missing out on.
“I always got my bangs curled on photo day, but that was about the extent of girliness,” she says. “I don’t think I quite knew I was a girl, or rather that there were expectations or restrictions [on dress and appearance that had to do with gender] until I was maybe 10.”
Grubisic says she doesn’t keep her daughters from engaging in certain “girly” inclinations here and there. Recently, she was attending a wedding with her daughters when her toddler wanted to wear her heels.

“I explained to her that she could try them on, but that they were made for mommy’s feet,” she says. “Sure enough, she ran around and promptly fell.”
This is the exact style of parenting that Kazdin says is important for the healthy development of young children: letting them learn for themselves without definitively saying no.
“If a child wears makeup in the house, a parent may think it’s all downhill from there,” Kazdin says. “Well, it’s usually quite the opposite of that slippery slope. Once a parent compromises, it makes it easier to control the other situations.”

Taking A More Laid-Back Approach

Mary Sauer, who lives in Missouri, is taking a more laid-back approach to letting her daughters wear makeup. Sauer says she doesn’t remember the first time her daughters, ages 4 and 6, began to play with and wear her cosmetic products.

“They typically wear makeup around the house, but I don’t really make a big deal about it if we happen to go out,” says Sauer, whose daughters really only ever ask to wear lip gloss or eyeshadow. “One time, my daughter asked to wear makeup to church, and I did say no to that, mostly because I was worried about judgment—although when we are out in public and they are wearing makeup, no one has ever said anything to me about it.”
Sauer lets her two daughters explore their feminine side without restrictions.
“My girls have their own nail polish and lip gloss, but they also wear mine occasionally,” she says. “I’m typically involved in the play, mostly because I like my makeup and don’t want it ruined.”
[pullquote align=”center”]“If whatever form of makeup gives you a feeling of being more yourself, then I think it can be a good thing. But really knowing that to be true for one’s self can require a great deal of honesty and introspection.”
—Erick Kenneth French, LCSW[/pullquote]
Kazdin says this type of parental involvement is helpful to the development of young minds—and encourages moms and dads to get in on the fun.
“Maybe the child can put lipstick on the mom as she’s getting dressed one day,” he says. “Yeah, it will all have to be taken off because it will be a mess, but that can be a fun Saturday morning.”
Parents should feel like they can step in and say no to make up if they are concerned, according to Kazdin.

“How they say no is very important,” he says. “Parents should try to accommodate their children’s interest in makeup and find a creative and controlled way to let their child take part in makeup play.”
Sauer says letting her girls dabble in makeup isn’t something she holds in high regard, but she doesn’t feel it’s important to keep her children away from it, either.
“I don’t make a big deal out of it,” says Sauer. “I feel like making it a sacred event that happens at 13 or 16—whatever age—gives makeup way more power.”

Makeup: A threat to self-esteem, or just the boost we need?

Little kids wearing makeup or putting it on mom or dad can be cute, but tweens and teens wearing makeup on the regular can feel like another thing entirely, especially when it involves them emulating (and sometimes even looking like) adults.
Are the impacts of makeup usage at this age really as negative as they can appear? The answer is complicated. In a study conducted by The Renfrew Center Foundation, researchers found that at least one in five girls ages 8 to 18 has negative feelings about themselves when they are not wearing makeup.

Another study published by Harvard University explored the possibility that makeup can impact female students’ performance in the classroom. The study found that participants who wore makeup outperformed those who did not—researchers dubbed this “the lipstick effect.” That said, it’s important to note that participants were college students, not middle or high schoolers.
French says he’s not familiar with these studies but that he is sure some young girls feel better about themselves “because wearing makeup deters any subtle shaming that might come from their culturally conditioned peers.”
“If narcissism and the neurosis of glamor and comparison was not such a predominant force in our culture, then it wouldn’t be a thing,” he says. His thoughts on the lipstick effect? “The answer probably isn’t more makeup.”
“The answer is healing the pervasive anxiety that we have been conditioned with since childhood, which is driving these neuroses,” French says.
“All that said,” he continues, “I think there is also something to be said for caring for yourself and striving to present yourself to the world in a way that accurately represents how you want to be as your true self. If whatever form of makeup gives you a feeling of being more yourself, then I think it can be a good thing. But really knowing that to be true for one’s self can require a great deal of honesty and introspection.”

If a child is curious about makeup play, Kazdin encourages parents to let them explore without scrutinizing their desires. Above all, finding a common ground between parent and child when it comes to when and where the child is allowed to wear makeup will cultivate a healthy and productive discussion. Kazdin says the last thing any parent should do is try to shut down the situation without finding a happy medium.
“See if there is a way to compromise so the situation fits in with your child’s life,” says Kazdin. “There is probably not a 3-year-old group that’s wearing endless makeup, but there are probably very few 18-year-olds who aren’t wearing even just a little mascara. Parents have to be flexible and more sensitive to their individual child—and not be too rigid or come down harshly on the child for their desires to wear makeup and fit in with society.”
Finally, French acknowledges that judgment and comparison can surface for kids and adults alike as families define their values as they relate to makeup, ways of dress, et cetera: “Instilling a family value of non-judgment is always good, but teaching children to pay attention to their feelings so they can be conscious of what they are being is even better.”

“I believe the antidote to judgment or preventing the tendency to shame others”—for example, a peer who wears a lot of makeup or other parents whose makeup rules confound us—“is to really strive to stay honest with one’s self and keep one’s eyes fixed on one’s own struggle.”
He says that when we pay attention to our feelings and focus on maintaining our own overall wellbeing, we are “less likely to project our shortcomings onto others and instead feel compassion and understanding about whatever we perceive another’s confusion or struggle to be.”
Makeup or no makeup, “the key is to be conscious of what you’re striving to be when you dress yourself up,” says French.
Sauer thinks that parents shouldn’t worry so much about what others think.
“At the end of the day, you know your child best and need to do what feels right to you as a parent,” says Sauer. “I think that if you want your kids to have a healthy relationship with makeup, the first step is modeling the same thing. If you’re really uptight about how you look, that is what they are going to pick up on, not the rules you set for them.”

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More Than Mom Motherhood

#IHadAMiscarriage: Ways To Cope And Rituals That Can Help In Grieving The Loss

Post author By Cindy Lamothe
Post date October 18, 2018

“I could barely feel my feet on the ground.”
Jessica Zucker remembers the painful physical and psychological aftermath that accompanied her pregnancy loss at 16 weeks back in 2012. She describes it as an elongated nightmare she was unable to wake from.
“The resulting grief was unfathomable,” the Los Angeles–based psychologist tells HealthyWay.

Last month, singer Carrie Underwood opened up about her own struggle with multiple miscarriages—a subject that’s often treated as taboo by society at large.
Approximately one in five women will have a miscarriage in early pregnancy (typically defined as a loss prior to 20 weeks gestation), and 1 in 100 women will experience a stillbirth each year in the United States. What these numbers don’t account for, however, are those pregnancy losses that go unreported—and that leave behind an indelible mark.
“It is a loss different than any other,” says Talya Knable, a licensed clinical professional counselor from Baltimore. “You are left to grieve this person you never had the chance to meet, but perhaps felt closer to than any other person you have ever known.”

Even after opening up, many are faced with the unbearable burden of learning how to process this singular kind of grief. We’ve reached out to women who were willing to share their stories. Here is what they had to say.

Grieving in Silence

Angela Roeber, a mother who has gone through five miscarriages, vividly recalls the isolation she felt after her first pregnancy loss. One particular moment that stands out for the 39-year-old involves calling her mom crying and telling her about her miscarriage.
“I know I caught her off guard as she didn’t even know I was pregnant,” says the Nebraska resident. But instead of receiving the consolation she craved, Roeber’s experience was normalized. “I remember her telling me, ‘It happens, Angela.’”

“Not really what one would like to hear in the moment,” she admits.
“We don’t hear a lot of people talking openly about miscarriages as we do with other losses in life, and it can make women feel incredibly alone,” says Julie Gurner, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in the greater Philadelphia area.
But even when people do speak out, they can be quickly silenced.
[pullquote align=”center”]“As women, mothers, wives, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. We don’t allow for much grace.”
—Angela Roeber[/pullquote]
“I don’t think my family understands my pain,” Roeber explains. “They haven’t had the same experiences. I don’t think they see it as losing five babies—instead, they see five miscarriages.”
According to Mayra Mendez, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist in Santa Monica, California, when a miscarriage occurs, people try not to talk about it. But, she stresses, the loss of a fetus is no less impactful than the loss of any other loved one.
“As women, mothers, wives, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves,” Roeber says. “We don’t allow for much grace.”

Give yourself permission to grieve the loss.

Roeber says she internalized all those years of bottling up, and that it later manifested as seemingly random outbursts.
“I had a lot of anger towards God, and that fury came out to everyone in my family.”
[pullquote align=”center”]“Women often feel that the loss ‘should be’ glossed over or that the intensity of their pain isn’t valid. …Grief is a process that cannot be rushed and must never be diminished.”
—Mayra Mendez, PhD, LMFT[/pullquote]
Knable points out that one of the key factors that may make miscarriages such a singular grief—truly different from any other—is that many women experience this loss prior to most people in their lives knowing that they had something to lose. “It’s important that women take time to emotionally mourn the loss of their baby,” she says.

“Women often feel that the loss ‘should be’ glossed over or that the intensity of their pain isn’t valid,” notes Mendez. But, she explains, “grief is a process that cannot be rushed and must never be diminished.”

Working through grief is a process.

“Grieving the loss of an unborn baby is a complex, multifaceted experience that changes over time and varies from person to person,” Mendez affirms.
Often women put pressure on themselves to be perfectly put together quickly, Gurner adds. “Miscarriages can be a devastating loss—be good to yourself, go easy on yourself, and give yourself the time you need to grieve.”
Here are a few methods for coping, shared by experts and women who have been there:

The Healing Balm of Shared Experiences

A woman who experiences a miscarriage needs support and a safe place to talk about her feelings. It’s important to have a forum to speak freely with trusted people, Mendez insists, and to gain perspective that supports clear thinking and prevents misplaced guilt and blame from taking root.

“It helps when I read other stories from women who have experienced similar events,” says Roeber. “I know they understand, and I know that I am not alone.”

Self-Care for the Mind and Body

Attend to healthy eating and exercise routines, Mendez advises. “Indulge in reading that book that you have been eyeing, go see that movie or play that will free your mind of stress for a while.”

Recovery from the miscarriage will also involve physical self-care, she says, and more importantly, management of emotional health and traumatic stress.

Embracing the Grieving Process

Denying, dismissing, or explaining loss and sadness away impedes grief resolution. This, in turn, can lead to profound and enduring symptoms that may require a higher level of intervention.

According to Mendez, if depression and despair remain as powerful six months after the miscarriage experience as they were when the loss was new, then professional help is necessary. “Unresolved grief can become a more serious condition of depression that calls for treatment.”

Staying Connected

Mendez emphasizes we shouldn’t isolate from our partners and families. Rather, it’s important that we continue to communicate and share our thoughts. “Join forces and use the experience to strengthen and bond the relationship further,” she notes.

“Discuss plans for the future and acknowledge that the grief process is not solely the experience of the woman.” She shares that “men grieve the loss of a baby as well, albeit differently.” Overall, she asks that we keep in mind that working through our grief is a process that will take a great deal of time and reflection.

Ritualizing and Memorializing

For some, participating in a ritual such as creating a memory book, planting a tree, or lighting a candle can be a way of honoring their loss. “A mother’s love can’t be measured in weeks,” says Roeber, who wears a charm bracelet with the birthstones of all the babies she’s lost.

That said, she’s adamant that everyone should find their own way of processing their grief. “No two people are the same, and I am convinced no two situations are the same.”

Finding a voice in the darkness.

Four months after her miscarriage, Zucker lived on pins and needles when she discovered she was pregnant again. She describes it as an exercise “in mind-numbing uncertainty”—an ongoing oscillation between hope and anxiety.
“I was emotionally whiplashed,” she says.
The world seemed lopsided and nonsensical. “I wondered if this traumatic event and my resulting cracked heart would drain the poise out of me for good.”
It was then that Zucker found herself catapulted into what she calls a “new galaxy of empathy.” While she had worked with women for over a decade in her private practice, she discovered a new breadth of understanding from her own lived experience with tragedy.

“I was humbled and honored to suddenly, in a corporeal sense, be able to empirically grasp the profound pain of reproductive loss,” Zucker shares.
Two years after her miscarriage, in 2014, she launched the #IHadAMiscarriage campaign and took her pain to pen in a New York Times essay that reverberated across the country.
Zucker says the act of writing has been a ritual and a central catalyst in her grieving process. “As a psychologist, I feel like I should probably say that therapy was the most helpful part of my healing process, but I really think that I wrote my way back to health.”

That said, she doesn’t dismiss the vital role therapy has played in supporting her process. It provided a much-needed haven for her to fall apart, she says, and to explore the crevices of pain, anxiety, and relational disappointments.
“But as I wrote about my experiences, I found understanding and with it a community.”

#IHadAMiscarriage: A Campaign That Breaks the Silence

This October’s Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Zucker’s campaign is focusing on rites, rituals, and representation.

“Without standardized rituals, women and families are unsure where to take their pain, how to find peace within it, and sometimes begin to question whether or not they have the ‘right’ to grieve,” says Zucker.
But one thing is for sure, women want to acknowledge their losses, she explains, “and the way they do that—the way they each mother their dead children—is different.” For every grieving parent decorating a gravesite or getting a memorial tattoo, she says, there’s one who prefers not to lend any more tangibility or permanence to their loss.
As part of her goal to inspire women to find meaningful ways to represent their experiences of miscarriage, Zucker highlights the need for our culture to embrace a framework that allows for grieving and honoring ourselves and the babies we’ve lost.
She asserts that in moving away from the antiquated silence whilst moving toward a culture of openness, representing our stories becomes tantamount. “Women want to feel heard; they want to feel seen; they want to feel understood.”

Zucker and Mexico City poet and artist Jessica Lakritz collaborated to stage a breathtaking photoshoot that includes women who’ve experienced miscarriage posing with inspirational poetry written on their skin.
Zucker said this project is part of her efforts to destigmatize speaking out about pregnancy and infant loss.
“The photo and video shoot captured the importance of this by way of expressing on our bodies our reproductive histories,” Zucker says.

“I couldn’t have asked for a more potent salve than that of perfect strangers’ vulnerability,” she added. “Connecting through heartache gave way to hope.”

Replacing Silence With Storytelling

In regard to pregnancy loss, Zucker notes that too many well-meaning strangers and loved ones say things like: “Everything happens for a reason,” “At least you know you can get pregnant,” “Be grateful for what you have,” “God has a plan,” and “At least you weren’t very far along.”
“Unfortunately, we live in a world brimming with platitudes,” she says.
[pullquote align=”center”]“I want women to feel—not just intellectually know—they are not alone and that there is absolutely no shame in loss.”
—Jessica Zucker, PhD, on coping with miscarriage[/pullquote]
“When we are met with comments like these, it can be tempting to shut down or worse,” she adds, “to feel ashamed of our grief.” In addition, women often fall silent in their grief because of how complicated it can be to justify or understand it.
As a way of empowering women, the signs in Zucker’s campaign are free to download from her website so they can be used as grieving families create their own rituals. “I want women to feel—not just intellectually know—they are not alone and that there is absolutely no shame in loss.”

Zucker envisions a future where generations to come won’t struggle with the silence, stigma, and shame that is currently so prevalent in our society. “The less alone we feel in our pain, the sooner we embrace the complexity of grief and perhaps trust that we will at some point emerge.”
“In sharing our stories in this way, we encourage others to do the same,” she emphasizes. “Or at the very least, we convey to women worldwide that they are part of a global community. We are not alone.”

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Fitness Advice x Motivation Sweat

Not So Healthy After All: What Happens When Aspirational Workouts Give Way To Disordered Exercise?

Post author By Wendy Rose Gould
Post date October 15, 2018

We live in a society where spin and HIIT classes are regarded by many as exercise meccas and where advice like “hit the gym” is the official mantra of many in the wellness community. And don’t get us wrong, exercise is integral to healthy living and is something you ought to regularly incorporate into your weekly routine—in fact, current guidelines from the Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion recommend that able-bodied adults get two hours and 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity every week for peak health.
That said, another issue that has to be addressed today is the potential for fitness-conscious individuals to manifest dangerous exercise-related habits. Since society views exercise as a predominantly positive activity—and since exercise is often met with enthusiastic positive reinforcement—exercise-related disorders often go undetected.
“Unfortunately, I think exercise-related disorders, or people that participate in excessive exercise, are more common than we realize,” says Rachel Goldman, PhD, a health-and-wellness psychologist and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at NYU’s School of Medicine. “Many of these individuals are probably not seeing their symptoms or behaviors as problematic, as they see exercise as something they have in control, or as a coping mechanism, or something making them feel better about themselves.”

It’s essential to build awareness around disordered exercise habits so that you can recognize unhealthy approaches to exercise—either in yourself or in others you know and love. With expert guidance, we explore potential indicators that something’s not quite right with all that exercise (or its intensity), plus advice that will help anyone with redirecting habits gone too far in favor of achieving a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.

5 Signs That You Might Be on an Iffy Exercise Trajectory

The following are all indicators of possibly disordered exercise habits. Read through them carefully and with an open mind to see if any apply to your (or a loved one’s) relationship with exercise.

1. When It Takes Over Your Life

Goldman says that the main symptom of excessive exercise is when fitness becomes the top priority in someone’s life—to the point that it disrupts their livelihood and relationships.

She says specific signs of this include:

Avoiding social or work responsibilities in order to exercise
Exercising regardless of being sick or injured
Adhering to a strict exercise regimen that does not allow flexibility for life and other responsibilities
Hiding the amount of exercise that’s being participated in
Exercising in secret

Sports psychologist Ariane Machin, PhD, agrees. If a person sticks to their exercise routine at all costs, that’s a huge indicator that their priorities are misaligned. Other signs of possible exercise-related disorders include missing commitments with loved ones, blowing off social obligations, failing to meet deadlines, or spending excessive amounts of money on health-related items and failing to pay important bills because of it.

“These are people who are primarily focused on their workout and needing to follow through with it. This is harmful because this rigid thinking will lead to guilt or shame when these unrealistic expectations cannot be met, and the person will be missing out on important events and functions in their life,” says Machin.

2. Becoming Obsessed with Number Tracking

Step trackers, running apps, and calorie calculators are all wonderful devices that can help motivate us to keep up with our fitness goals. Unfortunately, issues can arise when tracking becomes a stressful obsession.

“While initially tracking our behaviors can be an excellent tool to gain feedback about what we are doing well and what we need to improve on, some individuals can become obsessed with the monitors,” says Machin. “When they have not met their own standards, [they may] feel anxious, frustrated, and depressed even if they have done a great job. This is not a healthy cycle and will only contribute to feelings of low self-worth and negative mood as it continues.”

3. Exercising Against the Doctor’s Orders

Many recognize that when you have a bum ankle, high fever, or crippling cold, the body needs time to rest. Those who push through such ailments in the name of an extra or “essential” workout are demonstrating signs of disordered priorities.
“This could, of course, lead to further injury or illness, put the individual at further physical risk due to the added demand on the body, [and even cause] potential malnourishment,” says Goldman.

Additionally, there are some cases where a doctor recognizes that a patient is over-exercising and advises him or her to adjust their routine accordingly. If someone has a difficult time following this clear-cut advice, that, too, indicates that they’re struggling with disordered exercise habits.
Goldman notes that “excessive exercise has many health risks, including potential heart problems, osteoporosis, amenorrhea [loss of periods], dehydration, reproductive problems, as well as increased risk for injury and fractures.”

4. Re-Upping Your Exercise Tolerance

Another key sign your exercise habits have become unhealthy is if you keep trying to outdo yourself without listening to your body in the process.

“The exercise-addicted individual will increase tolerance to the exercise, having to increase it more and more to achieve the desired accomplishment or ‘buzz,’” says Lori Shemek, PhD, a psychologist and certified nutritionist. “Absence of the exercise [may] create anxiety, irritability, sleep issues, or stress. Another sign includes not feeling in control—such as wanting to reduce exercising but failing to—and spending time feeding the addiction [while] other areas in their life suffer.”
People who are struggling with disordered exercise habits may even begin hiding their aggressive exercise routines from others. If you’ve experienced this, it’s important to ask why you’re keeping this part of your life hidden away from friends and family.

“Anything that we are doing in secret, that we would not do in front of others, has a sense of shame or embarrassment attached to it. Deep down that individual knows it is problematic,” says Goldman.

5. Not Cutting Yourself Any Slack

Adhering to a strict exercise regimen is often heralded in our exercise-conscious world, but if you cannot allow yourself some slack—and if negative thoughts creep in when you aren’t “perfect”—it’s time to reassess.

“It’s problematic when a person feels extreme guilt and frustration when having to miss a workout for whatever reason,” says Machin. “The individual may also reduce their caloric intake that day as well because they haven’t utilized any calories from exercise.”
“This could be considered a warning sign because we don’t want to base our happiness and food intake each day on whether we have had a good workout. This is trending toward an unhealthy relationship with exercise, and it may be a good idea to reevaluate the role exercise is taking in your life.”

Ultimately, anything that becomes too restrictive or rigid, even exercise, can wind up a dangerous, slippery slope.

Ways to Fix the Problem and Foster Healthy Fitness Habits

If any of the above indicators feel familiar—or if you simply want to ensure you approach your fitness routine with a healthy mindset—follow this advice from our experts.

1. Acknowledge that there’s an issue.

This is the hardest step to take, but if you’re here reading this, you’re already on the right path. Simply knowing there’s a problem and being willing to work on it is a huge part of the battle.

“Like any excessive behavior or obsessive thought, the key is to work on one’s behaviors, cognitions, and self-acceptance,” says Goldman. “One needs to get away from this ‘all or nothing’ thinking. Once people can accept that their behaviors are problematic, and then see that they will not gain weight or [feel like] anything bad will happen if they change their behaviors, then it will become easier to overcome this.”
As you work to find balance in your world, identify and eliminate triggers (such as certain Instagram accounts, fitness classes, or foods that prevent you from maintaining moderation), carefully monitor your thoughts, and set realistic goals for yourself.

“Engage in curiosity around your relationship with your body, food, and exercise. Are each of these things in your life fueling you in healthy ways? Are there things you would want to change about them?” advises Machin. “The first step to helping ourselves is being aware we have a problem and wanting to do something about it. This exploration will bring awareness to your dynamics.”

2. Enlist some help.

It is not easy to change thoughts or behaviors on a whim, so recognize that this process will take time. Having support and encouragement from friends and family and enlisting professional help can help you along the way.

“With the help of a professional—ideally [someone] trained in cognitive behavior therapy—one can learn skills to use when they feel the urge to exercise, the skills to use to challenge the cognitive distortions related to the excessive exercise, and they can learn to be more in tune with their body and their body’s needs,” says Goldman.
“In time, these individuals, similar to those that have suffered with eating disorders, will feel a sense of relief as these thoughts and behaviors won’t be consuming their life or daily routine any longer. I often hear patients telling me they have found ‘freedom’ and feel ‘in control,’ whereas they felt like they ‘had’ to do this before.”

A professional trainer who can help you stay on track and reach your goals in a healthy, encouraging way may also be beneficial.

3. Invest in other parts of your life.

If you recognize a need to reduce the amount of time spent exercising, that is a huge step. That said, it’s important to fill that empty space with other meaningful hobbies and activities.
“Similar to emotional eating, we can’t just expect people to sit around when they used to turn to food during those times. Similarly, if we tell someone to just exercise less, or refrain from exercise, then the individual should do something else in place of it,” says Goldman.

Now is the time to reinvest in things that are important to you. Focus on work, hobbies, and your family and social life. You may even consider joining a club or group, or attending recurring events, such as a book club meeting, trivia night, board game day, dinner with friends, or the like.

Below the Surface

People who exercise religiously and carefully monitor their food intake are often lifted up as those who have the most willpower, who are “health warriors” and leaders, and who are top-tier athletes. They may even have an aspirational physique to go along with these assumptions and appear to be in perfect health. While this is certainly true for many, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s not always the case.

As outlined above, disordered exercise habits can take a toll on your physical and mental health, and can even be damaging to your work, family, and social life. As is the case with everything, finding balance, identifying problems, asking for help when you need it, and learning to love yourself are the keys to success and, more importantly, happiness.

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Mindful Parenting Motherhood

The Cost Of Raising A Child (And How Where You Live Changes The Number)

Post author By Mary Sauer
Post date October 15, 2018

What does having a child a cost? The answer definitely seems to be a loaded one, full of what ifs and questions about where you live, cultural expectations, family values, and more. Even so, researchers have tried to pin down a number, and some compelling results that pertain specifically to U.S. families are published in Expenditures by Families on Children, 2015.
In the report, data gathered from multiple sources on 23,297 married-couple households and 7,030 single-parent households is used to create estimates of money spent on things like housing, food, and childcare. Parents can expect to spend between $12,350 and $14,000 a year on each child, totaling an average of $233,610 over the course of a child’s 17 years at home.

Using the same data, researchers also broke down the cost of raising a child by region, determining that married couples raising children in the urban Northeast could be expected to rack up the highest child-rearing costs. Living in the urban Midwest and rural areas of the country is associated with the lowest child-rearing expenses. The regional aspect of this report proved to be extremely interesting, and we’ve done some digging to provide a closer look at the cost of raising a baby—and how where you live changes the number.

Getting Pregnant and Having a Baby

Without a doubt, one of the first major expenses of having a baby is the price tag of pregnancy and childbirth. Although 91.2 percent of Americans are insured, that leaves a notable number of people without insurance and doesn’t account for excluded services. Uninsured parents in the United States spend around $10,808 on an uncomplicated vaginal delivery, according to reporting by Business Insider UK.

Having insurance doesn’t necessarily spare parents from notable expenses, either. Breaking it down further, Business Insider published numbers provided by FAIR Health. Parents in Alabama have the lowest childbirth-related expenses in the U.S., with the cost of an uninsured birth averaging $9,013.88 and an insured birth costing an average of $4,884.44. Having a cesarean section raises those expenses, of course, with an uninsured c-section costing Alabama residents an average of $12,593.60 and an insured c-section averaging $7,404.07.

States in the Northeast account for many of the highest numbers on the list. For instance, in New Jersey, an uninsured vaginal birth is estimated to cost $16,674.62 and an insured vaginal birth an average of$8,755.88.
For parents dealing with infertility, there are added expenses that can be financially debilitating if you live in certain states. Only 15 states mandate insurance coverage for infertility diagnosis and treatment, according to the National Conference of State Legislature, and some of those states don’t require coverage of all expenses associated with infertility treatments. In New York, for instance, IVF is not considered an insurance-eligible expense.

With only 15 states with laws mandating some kind of coverage for infertility treatments, there are plenty of families who find themselves funding costly infertility treatments completely out-of-pocket, which means becoming a parent can cost a small fortune before baby even arrives.

The Cost of Childcare

Paying for childcare and school expenses is often the next major expense parents worry about, and for good reason. Childcare expenses can quickly dominate a family’s budget.

“Education and childcare for two kids cost us about as much as our mortgage does every month,” shares Jamie Beth Schindler, one of the parents in a two-income family. “I was not prepared for how much of our income was going to go towards these costs.”
A quick glance at the How Does Your State Stack Up? figure provided by the Economic Policy Institute shows that, relative to family income, childcare is the most expensive in the Northeast, with Washington D.C. taking the lead at an average cost of $22,631 for a year of infant care. When considered as a percentage of the median income, that means Washington D.C. parents with median incomes are spending 35.6 percent of their earnings on childcare in their little one’s early years.

These numbers line up with Schindler’s experience. She says she was happy to see her housing expenses decrease when her family moved from Los Angeles to Pennsylvania but shocked to learn childcare would cost her just as much in the Northeast as it had out west.

Comparatively, southern and midwestern states have lower annual childcare costs. The cost of infant care is $6,294 a year in Kentucky, $8,632 in Missouri, and $5,747 in Louisiana. In many of these states, however, childcare still isn’t considered to be affordable because it continues to account for a large percentage of the median family income.

Meeting Basic Needs

When it comes to caring for a child, meeting their basic needs really start to add up. In fact, two of the largest expenses reported by families with children include housing and food, according to the “Expenditures on Children by Families” report.

For the average family, housing accounts for between 26 and 33 percent of what parents spend on their children in a year. The expense varies from region to region, with urban areas in the northeast and west taking the lead when it comes to housing expenses. Rural areas of the country had the lowest housing expenses.
Buying groceries accounts for 18 percent of child-rearing expenses. While it isn’t clear if the cost of feeding a child varies significantly from state to state, one Go Banking Rates article reports that families in the South have the highest grocery expenses, followed by those in the Midwest.

Having kids typically implies having healthcare expenses, too. Even when both parents are healthy, it is important to anticipate and prepare for the expenses of emergency room visits, allergy testing, and braces, says Byron Ellis, a certified financial planner with United Capital Financial Advisers in The Woodlands, Texas.

The Cost of “The Extras”

While it is much more difficult to measure, it’s worth noting that some of the most unexpected expenses that come with childrearing have a lot to do with keeping up with expectations. This seems to be tied less to a region and more to individual communities.

Take, for instance, birthday parties. Thanks to the existence of Pinterest, throwing a party can come with a lot of pressure to execute on elaborate themes—investing in favors, decorations, and games. An informal poll by BabyCenter showed that 25 percent of families spend between $200 and $500 on a single party, while 11 percent of families spent more than $500. Mom of four Chaunie Brusie tells HealthyWay that it isn’t just the cost of throwing parties that caught her off guard, but that buying gifts for the parties her kids attend is also a big expense.

There are also enrichment activities that aren’t included in traditional schooling that inflate the cost of educating the kiddos. These include sporting expenses, music lessons, and swim classes to name a few. Even if your child only participates in one or two after-school activities, the costs quickly multiply.
“I was surprised by the cost of lessons and how quickly they add up, especially when you have two kids,” says Mary Beth Forster. “I signed my daughter up for swimming at something like $75 a month, thinking that was pretty expensive, but it seems average for a weekly class.”

Ellis says it’s keeping up with the expectations of the community you’re in that will have the greatest impact on the cost of being a parent. “If you’re in a community that has really highly rated schools and they’re really proud of the percentage of their students that go to college and they take seriously their scholastic scores…that means the pressure is always on.”

If you intend to raise your family in a community where sports, band, and other extracurriculars are a point of pride, there will likely be extra pressure to enroll your children in afterschool activities, pay for tutors, and foot the bill for travel and cultural experiences, whether you’re paying for private school tuition or not.

Preparing for the Costs of Parenthood

If you are thinking about having a baby, Ellis recommends approaching the discussion of parenting-related expenses as you would any other major financial decision.
“As a family, you need to have a cash reserve,” he says. “That’s money that is there for emergencies or opportunities that come up. Stuff’s going to happen. That’s what a cash reserve is for, to keep you from having to go tap the credit card.”

As far as a concrete amount that families need, it really depends on your month-to-month expenses. To calculate the dollar amount that you need to set aside, add up your expenses for three to six months of living as a couple. Then add in what you expect you’ll need to pay for the added expenses of a child.
“This is hard, depending on your region. Some regions you’ll have more of a need, some you’ll have less,” says Ellis. “I would say unless you really know the numbers, go ahead and add another month to it.”

In addition to preparing for those initial parenting expenses—medical costs associated with labor and delivery, diapers, and childcare—Ellis suggests that parents (or prospective parents) look ahead to the upcoming seasons and budget for the costs they expect to be associated with their new addition beginning school, having a birthday party, and participating in lessons or sports.
When the possibility of growing your family is on the table, it can be hard to set emotions aside, but it is helpful to think about expenses as objectively as possible so you can make wise decisions as you plan for the future of your family.

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Health x Body Wellbeing

Natural Family Planning: A Good Alternative To Birth Control?

Post author By Anna Cherry
Post date October 12, 2018

I was in ninth grade health class at my public high school when a Baptist youth minister explained that there was no stopping God if He wanted me pregnant. It’s a vivid memory, and I’ve since questioned its validity because of how absurd it seems to me now.
The man was bald, I think. In his mid-to-late thirties, if you can trust the age perceptions of a 15-year-old. He and his blonde wife stood at the front of the class and told us they had used not one, but two forms of birth control before realizing they were with child. Thus, our reproductive futures were simply in the hands of the Lord, and no amount of planning could prevent His will from being done.
I was living in suburban Arkansas (a state that, in 2014, 2015, and 2016, ranked first in the country for teen birth rates, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC]). This was abstinence education around 2002, part of the evangelical purity movement that took hold in the 1990s during a time of economic downturn, the AIDS crisis, and Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign. The times were changing; we were afraid.

To double down on conservative sexual mores was part of a larger religiopolitical trend, as Sara Moslener argued in Virgin Nation: Sexual Purity and American Adolescence. “Rooted in fears of national instability and civilizational decline, the idea of sexual purity has been most compelling at points in history when evangelical theologies of the end-times provided viable explanations for widespread cultural crises,” she wrote. These theologies link “sexual immorality with national insecurity and impending apocalypse” and position “the white, middle-class, heterosexual, nuclear, Christian family as the foundation of American national strength.”
The shaming in this movement was strong for everyone, but it was heaped on young women with special zeal. Those who dared to go carnal with guys who were not their husbands were used in ungenerous metaphors: They were dirty tennis shoes, chewed-up gum.
“In short, the purity movement attempts to scare teenage women into sexual purity,” wrote Amanda Barbee, a graduate of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology who studied Christianity and sexuality. “The movement instills them with the fear that if they have sex before marriage, they will be rejected by their future husband, their family, their community, and even their God.” Or, as abstinence-only speaker Pam Stenzel so succinctly put it: “If you have [premarital] sex … you will pay.”

Like a good Southern Baptist girl, I believed.
Now, as an adult woman who works hard to deprogram her mind from the sex-negative, misogynist, (and, by the way, ineffective) garbage that was “abstinence education,” any time someone tries to sell me on their religion’s reproductive protocol, I want to melt into a puddle and Alex Mack my way into oblivion. Natural family planning (NFP), as the only form of contraception with the Roman Catholic Church’s stamp of approval, is no exception. But am I throwing the baby out with the bathwater?

What is natural family planning?

Merriam-Webster defines NFP as “a method of birth control that involves abstention from sexual intercourse during the period of ovulation which is determined through observation and measurement of bodily symptoms.” The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops adds a didactic flavor to their definition, describing it as “the scientific, natural, and moral methods of family planning that can help married couples either achieve or postpone pregnancies.” (Many Catholics and some Protestants consider modern forms of birth control like the pill and condoms to be unethical.)

“In very general terms, natural family planning is a way of preventing or timing pregnancy without the use of artificial hormones or other reproductive technologies,” says Caitlin Elder, a practitioner of the Creighton Model FertilityCare System, one of the church-approved NFP methods. Elder has taught over 40 families how to monitor their fertility since 2007.
When applying NFP, “A woman (or couple) monitors one or more biological markers that change over the course of a woman’s menstrual cycle and then uses the concept of periodic abstinence in order to either achieve or prevent pregnancy,” says Elder.

Some basic ways that a woman’s fertility can be determined are through the tracking of cervical secretions, basal body temperature, the shape or texture of the cervix, and urinary metabolite hormone levels. Popular NFP methods use some combination of these and include:

Billings Ovulation Method: Fertility is determined by observing cervical fluid.
Creighton Model: Fertility is determined by observing cervical fluid.
Marquette Model: Fertility is determined by observing cervical fluid, along with a second sign, urinary metabolite hormone levels. The latter is measured through the use of a hand-held electronic (ClearBlue Easy) fertility monitor.
Sympto-Thermal Method: Fertility is determined by observing cervical fluid, basal body temperature (waking temperature), and other biological signs, such as changes in the cervix.

So, the rhythm method?

The rhythm method might be considered the OG of natural family planning. Dating back to the 1930s, it is arguably the most primitive of the fertility awareness based methods (FABMs). A World Health Organization (WHO) fact sheet, listing it alongside the old “pull and pray” method, labels typical practices 75 percent effective at preventing pregnancy. For comparison, the pill has an efficiency of between 92 and 97 percent as it’s commonly used.
The rhythm method involves tracking a woman’s menstrual cycle to predict which days she will be fertile. While revolutionary for its time, the inconsistency of many women’s cycles means that the margin for error is especially large. (This explains the old joke: “What do you call people who use the rhythm method? Parents.”)
Modern-day proponents of NFP, understandably, want to distance themselves from the rhythm method, as it is often misunderstood to be synonymous with other, more sophisticated FABMs.

Since the rhythm method is also known as the calendar method or the calendar rhythm method, it would be totally reasonable for an outsider (or, really, anyone) to conflate it with the Standard Days Method (SDM), which, as a calendar-based method that does not track biological indicators of fertility, sounds to NFP-virgin ears like the same damn thing.
But no! The WHO lists typical-use SDM efficacy in pregnancy prevention as 88 percent. That’s a whole 13 percentage points higher than the rhythm method! (The stat appears to have been pulled from this research article out of Georgetown University. Study participants were comprised of 478 women who self-reported having regular cycles, meaning most of their recent cycle lengths were between 26 and 32 days long.)
For clarity’s sake, let’s see how the WHO distinguishes the two.

Standard Days Method or “CycleBeads”: Women track their fertile periods (usually days 8 to 19 of each 26 to 32-day cycle) using CycleBeads or other aids.
Calendar method or rhythm method: Women monitor the patter of their menstrual cycle over 6 months, subtract 18 from shortest cycle length (to estimate their first fertile day) and subtract 11 from longest cycle length (to estimate their last fertile day).

The Standards Days Method relies on a woman’s cycle being between 26 and 32 days long (so, again, a fairly regular cycle), whereas the rhythm method asks women to use information from their cycle lengths over the past half-year to come up with a window during which they’re most likely to be fertile.

The Church’s Favorite Birth Control

The American public latched on to natural family planning in 1932, when Chicago physician Leo Latz, MD, published The Rhythm of Sterility and Fertility in Women. The book was unique because it summarized the research of two gynecologists, Kyusaku Ogino in Japan and Hermann Knaus in Austria, who had been studying ovulation since the 1920s. Though working independently, each had come to the same conclusion: A woman typically ovulated from between 16 and 12 days before her period, and the ovum, if unfertilized, likely did not even live for an entire day.

Until around this time, most doctors had wrongly timed ovulation. According to a history by Case Western University, they had concluded by studying animal behavior that the “safe period” for women—that is, the portion of the month during which they could have intercourse without risking pregnancy—occurred at the midpoint of the menstrual cycle. This is, in fact, a woman’s most fertile period.
The decade brought the birth of “the rhythm” method, and a new hope: Finally, a woman’s freedom and health and a family’s financial well-being might not be hindered by an endless succession of unplanned pregnancies. “In marked contrast to its position on most lay medical practices, the medical profession welcomed the rhythm method as ‘a ray of light’ amidst the uncertainties of most contraceptive techniques,” wrote historian David M. Kennedy in his book Birth Control in America: The Career of Margaret Sanger. It was, he said, “the first real advance in contraceptive research in decades.”

In 1930, the Catholic Church had announced its stance on contraception. Pope Pius XI issued an official letter, Casti connubii (Latin for “of chaste wedlock”), reiterating the importance of wives’ submission to their husbands and the primacy of bringing children into the world, and banning new contraceptive technologies, linking them with “a new and utterly perverse morality.” This was in response to the Anglican Church’s Lambeth Conference the same year, where contraception was approved in certain instances. (As some salty Catholics tell it, Anglicans eventually “completely caved in, allowing contraception across the board.”)
So the rhythm method was exciting also because it aligned with Catholic sexual ethics, being not “artificial,” but “natural.” Latz, who was a devout Roman Catholic, became an advocate of the Ogino-Knaus method, advising women with regular cycles who were looking to avoid pregnancy to practice abstinence for eight days—five days before ovulation, plus three extra days for good measure.

Using this model, newfangled fertility gadgets like the Scientific Prediction Dial and The Forecaster were created to help with tracking women’s “safe” periods. Unfortunately, even when an engineer collaborated with doctors to create “a simple, foolproof calculator for the accurate application of the Rhythm” (the Rythmeter), the resulting product was neither simple nor foolproof.
By 1942, The Rhythm had sold over 200,000 copies—but people were losing faith. “Experience had shown that few women had menstrual cycles regular enough to allow accurate determination of the sterile period,” wrote Kennedy. “After all the excitement it had caused at its introduction, the rhythm method proved an even less adequate contraceptive than the standard diaphragm and jelly.”

The Pill’s Surprisingly Catholic Roots

In the early 1950s, biologist Gregory Goodwin Pincus paired up with gynecologist and obstetrician John C. Rock to develop the hormonal birth control pill. Pincus apparently chose Rock because he was a well-liked Catholic not afraid to speak out against teachings of the church, thinking this might help their cause with the public. (Birth control activist Margaret Sanger said he was “as handsome as a god” and could “just get away with anything.”)

It didn’t exactly work. In 1964, after Rock went to speak in Ohio to promote acceptance of the pill, Monsignor Francis W. Carney, director of the Family Life Bureau of the Cleveland Catholic Diocese, released a statement labeling him a violator of morality and accusing him of “using his strength as a man of science to assault the faith of his fellow Catholics.”
And in 1968, Pope Paul VI sealed the church’s anti-contraception doctrine in his encyclical Humanae vitae (Latin for “of human life”), which expressed, among other fears, that “a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.” (I can appreciate the sentiment here, but would like to respectfully point out that, if a man is going to be a f*ckboy, he’s going to be a f*ckboy with or without the use of prophylactics.)

Rock advocated for the Food and Drug Administration to approve the pill, and it did in 1960. He also advocated for the Catholic Church to remove its ban. Though there was a period when the issue was up for deliberation, church leaders ultimately decided that to change their stance would mean undermining the notion of papal infallibility, which was a big no-no. Instead, they—a bunch of men—decided to let women continue taking one for the team. (Or a dozen, as was the case with one of Rock’s desperate patients, who, by the age of 32 and in 14 years of marriage, had endured 11 pregnancies, one of which was a miscarriage, and the last of which was twins. As a result, she was left weak and exhausted and suffered occasional blackouts.)

When Rock died in 1984, the New York Times described him as “a loyal Catholic” who attended mass daily and kept a crucifix above his office desk. Rock attributed his continued dedication to the cause of birth control, ironically, to a church mentor:

[Rock] became a target of bitter attacks by some who called him a renegade, and he did not succeed in changing Catholic theology. But he stimulated much discussion in and outside the church. When questioned about the rationale for his battle, he told friends that as a boy of 14 he was told by a Catholic priest in Massachusetts: “John, always stick to your conscience. Never let anyone else keep it for you, and I mean anyone else.”

Are fertility awareness methods a good alternative to other forms of contraception?

I became interested in FABMs when my best friend from childhood, a devout Catholic, started talking more about NFP as she geared up for marriage. I disagreed with the theoretical framework behind it, but certain aspects of it were appealing to me.

Not having to take synthetic hormones daily (I’d stopped taking the pill in college because I believed it may have been compounding my anxiety and lowering my libido—though, admittedly, these could’ve had more to do with college life and a bad relationship), learning more about my body, increasing pleasure (protection is necessary for safety, but it’s not quite as fun as going without), and improving intimacy with a partner who would share the responsibility of learning about my cycle—all of these seemed, to me, holistic, and surprisingly feminist, aspects of what she described. (Again, the requirement for half of these being that one must not be sleeping with a f*ckboy.) But, really, was it as reliable as she said?
The CDC ranks FABMs among the least effective forms of birth control, lumping them all together to amount to an unintended pregnancy rate of 24 percent within the first year of typical use, meaning 1 in 4 women using a FABM would become pregnant within a year. The WHO separates out FABMs to offer different statistics for each method—and these align more with the statistics given by NFP advocates, like FACTS (the Fertility Appreciation Collaborative to Teach the Science), a group that claims the federal government downplays the effectiveness of FABMs by conflating statistics and referencing limited, low-quality research.

“Based on the most up-to-date and highest quality published medical research, the effectiveness rates of fertility awareness based methods (FABMs) with correct use are between 95 and 99.5 percent, depending on the method,” they say in a joint petition with Natural Womanhood for the CDC to update its statistics. “Even with typical use, the effectiveness rates of FABMs are comparable to most commonly used forms of birth control.”
According to the petition, more accurate effectiveness rates for FABMs are as follows:

Sympto-Thermal Method: pregnancy rate with perfect use 0.4 percent, with typical use 1.6 percent
Marquette Method: pregnancy rate with perfect use 0 percent, with typical use 6.8 percent
Billings Ovulation Method: pregnancy rate with perfect use 1.1 percent, with typical use 10.5 percent
Standard Days Method: pregnancy rate with perfect use 4.8 percent, with typical use 11.9 percent

A German study published in 2007 found, indeed, that the sympto-thermal method (STM) had an effectiveness comparable to that of oral contraceptives, though critics claimed that the data was “cherry-picked” by researchers. They said that the level of complexity required in observing biological indicators of fertility accurately, combined with the length of abstinence suggested for optimal effectiveness, rendered STM less viable for the average couple, and suggested that religious affiliations may have influenced the study.

This is a crucial point. It would be irresponsible to discuss the topic of fertility awareness methods without discussing today’s political landscape where ideologues are co-opting valid concerns about hormonal contraception to effectively limit women’s reproductive rights. The current administration wants to defund services that would provide women with the most rigorously researched contraceptive options to instead emphasize natural family planning. They’re also trying to resurrect the abstinence-only “education” that I received in high school.
The best birth control for you depends entirely on you: your body, your habits, your priorities. The pill, the shot, and long-acting reversible contraceptives (LARCs) are among the simplest and most reliable methods. Many women choose to take these not only because of their effectiveness in preventing pregnancy, but also because of their ease of use. Set your phone alarm to chime every day at a set time, get a shot every three months, or have a very small device put into your uterus or upper arm, and that’s it! You’re set to enjoy pregnancy-free sex for the next four to 12 years.

As far as pregnancy prevention goes, LARCs are the clear winner among non-permanent options, with between 98 and 99.9 percent effectiveness. They require the least maintenance, lasting for years without intervention. (It’s been characterized as “get-it-and-forget-it birth control.”)
Some women rely on hormonal contraception like the pill to help with issues besides unwanted pregnancy, such as irregular or painful periods, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, migraines, acne, excessive hair growth, endometriosis, and polycystic ovarian syndrome. While hormonal contraception has been associated with a small increased risk of breast cancer, it has also been shown to strongly decrease the risk of ovarian, endometrial, and colorectal cancers, amounting to an overall reduced risk of cancer.
(OB-GYN Jen Gunter, writing for the Marin Independent Journal pointed out that the recently released findings about the breast cancer–birth control connection should “be interpreted with caution as it doesn’t take into account breastfeeding [known to reduce breast cancer] and lifestyle factors associated with an increased risk of breast cancer, such as alcohol consumption and lack of physical exercise.”)

When these options are blocked, women pay the price—especially poor women, who may not be able to afford the most reliable forms of birth control on their own.
When it comes to statistics on FABMs, we have to ask ourselves: Who funded the research? What is the organization’s mission? Are they trying to promote FABMs to the exclusion of other contraceptive methods?
The organization FACTS, for example, has no explicit religious affiliation, but its co-founder and executive director is Marguerite Duane, a board-certified family physician who, in The Federalist, argued that contraception isn’t necessary for women’s health and that resources should be reallocated to “truly critical medication.” Gunter, in a blog post, eviscerated Duane’s arguments, calling the article “an anti-science, misogynistic screed” and highlighting the dangers of limiting women’s access to the full range of birth control options.

To get a better understanding of the disconnect between FABMs statistics offered by the CDC and organizations like FACTS, I reached out to Chelsea B. Polis, PhD, an epidemiologist who holds an associate appointment in the Department of Epidemiology at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. Though Polis believes that we need more research on FABMs’ effectiveness, she disagrees with the assertion that the CDC is withholding more accurate statistics.
“Populations in clinical trials [such as those cited by NFP proponents as evidence of FABMs’ actual effectiveness] are more highly selected (and thus less generalizable to the wider population), and their behaviors may be impacted by frequent contact with investigators and study staff (this may be particularly true for methods that are highly user-dependent, such as FABMs),” Polis wrote in a blog post, wherein she outlined issues not addressed in the FACTS/Natural Womanhood petition. She included that “there are not enough episodes of use of each individual FABM to generate statistically stable estimates for each method separately.”
“While I applaud the goal of FACTS to support medical providers to better understand FABMs, I am unfortunately not convinced that FACTS always approaches this goal in a non-ideological, evidence-based manner,” Polis tells me via email. “For several years, I’ve noted concerns regarding the scientific integrity of statements made by certain FACTS members, including Dr. Marguerite Duane. I wrote about some issues in this blog and linked to specific details in a Storify.”

Storify has since shut down, but you can check out the contents here.
“I found the FACTS/Natural Womanhood petition to be problematic in multiple ways, including what appears to be gaps in their understanding regarding certain scientific/methodological issues related to the estimation of contraceptive effectiveness,” says Polis. She then references Duane’s article for The Federalist, which, she notes, “caused an understandable uproar among many women’s health experts.”
“Given FACTS/Dr. Duane’s propensity to make non-evidence based statements, from a scientific perspective, I would certainly encourage substantial caution around accepting their statements at face value,” she says.

I want better information on FABMs—what can I do?

Let’s say that you don’t have insurance or you’ve done a cost-benefit analysis with your doctor and decided against hormonal, surgical, and barrier methods of contraception or your country is turning into a dystopian hellscape where human rights are being eroded by fundamentalists who would like to take away your access to a variety of birth control options. Any of these situations might might mean you find yourself with questions about the effectiveness of FABMs.
What can we do, we non-medical professionals who are interested in learning more about natural contraceptive options but who are skeptical of the existing research on FABMs, given how closely linked they are to powerful religious and political ideologies?
There is “no single perfect answer,” says Polis.
“I think the best approach is to seek out established professionals (or professionally created sources) who have a very strong scientific background and a reputation for sharing unbiased information on all contraceptive options,” she says. “Different kinds of resources meet different needs. Certainly, having a trusted reproductive healthcare provider to discuss your options with is a tremendous asset.”

If you’re looking for a “quick, free, and user-friendly” resource that will give you digestible information about all your options, Polis suggests checking out the website Bedsider. “If you prefer having lots of detail and citations, a book like Contraceptive Technology […] is an incredibly comprehensive, evidence-based resource compiled by leading experts,” she says. (The newest edition, updated for the first time since 2011, just came out in September.)
Also in September, the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology published findings from a project that Polis and her colleagues have worked on for several years. “As far as I know, our review [is] the most comprehensive source available summarizing the quality and results of all prospective studies ever published on any individual FABM,” she says. They developed a framework for evaluating and ranking each study, and Polis believes their review “will shed a lot of light on what is known (and what remains unknown) about the effectiveness of various FABMs for pregnancy prevention.”
In the meantime, how can we support research on FABMs without unwittingly bolstering policies that would limit women’s access to a full range of birth control options?
“Raise your voice to advocate for funding to support high-quality scientific research on all contraceptive options (including FABMs); be active in your community and on social media in talking to people about the importance of contraceptive choice and scientific research,” says Polis. “And vote.”

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Health x Body Wellbeing

Bizarre Medical Conditions Some People Have Without Even Realizing It

Post author By HealthyWay Staff Writer
Post date October 12, 2018

If you’re reading this, chances are good that you’ve got some sort of health issue; according to one study, over 95 percent of the world’s population has health problems, and over a third have more than five ailments. When those conditions present clear symptoms, they’re fairly easy to diagnose—if you’ve got a herniated disc, for instance, you’ll know immediately that something’s wrong.
However, some conditions are more difficult to suss out. When the physical symptoms are subtle or nonexistent, physicians might miss the issue entirely, and people can go for years without knowing that they’re different from their peers.
We looked into a few strange conditions that are often underdiagnosed, then researched the symptoms. We also reached out to a few people who have these conditions to find out what they’re really like—and how they realized that they weren’t like everyone else.

1. Ordinal Linguistic Personification

Technically, ordinal linguistic personification (OLP) is a type of synesthesia (and we’ll discuss the more well-known variant of synesthesia in a moment). People with this condition see letters and numerals as having personality, gender, and other “human” characteristics.
That doesn’t mean that they actually believe that letters are people—they just get the sense that they have distinct personality traits.

“I have synesthesia where letters and numbers have personalities and colors, also known as ordinal linguistic personification and grapheme-color synesthesia,” Cassia Watts, a marketing professional with Little Fella Marketing, tells Urbo.
“I realized I had synesthesia when someone pointed out how weird my thoughts were. I essentially thought everyone else picked this up from how they [learned the alphabet].”
“For example, the word ‘entrepreneur’ is easy for me to remember to spell, because R and E get along very well. R is a quiet alpha, and E, her submissive follower. P is an awkward nerd that doesn’t really fit in with these groups of letters, and so on. It is as if I am looking at this group of letters as if they were The Breakfast Club.”

We imagine that would make spelling bees pretty interesting.
Many individuals with OLP also have the aforementioned grapheme-color synesthesia, which means that they see numerals and letters as having distinct coloring or shading. The experience differs from person to person, but OLP isn’t a serious problem—in fact, it can be helpful in certain situations.
“It only interferes in my life in good ways,” Watts says. “It can’t be classified as a ‘disorder,’ because it actually helps more than harms. I can remember phone numbers and word spellings extremely well.”
Caitlin O’Malley, another person with OLP, explained in a Medium piece that the condition has a few minor drawbacks.

“I’m actually unusually horrible at math,” she wrote. “A psychology major friend of mine told me that some scientists think OLP might actually interfere with learning math, since the way we’re taught math in school typically doesn’t take into account made-up number personas, and it can get confusing for people like me.”

2. Chromesthesia

When you hear the term “synesthesia,” you probably think about chromesthesia (unless, of course, you’ve never heard either term before). Put simply, people with chromesthesia can “hear colors.”
More accurately, a person with this condition will experience the sensation of color when they hear certain sounds. It often corresponds to pitch; the musical note A, for instance, might sound red, while a G might sound yellow. The exact experience varies from person to person; one art teacher described the experience of listening to rapid chord sequences as “somewhat like fireworks exploding.”

If you’re pursuing a music career, that can be a major advantage. Tori Amos, Duke Ellington, and Pharrell Williams have chromesthesia, per Mental Floss, as does legendary songwriter Billy Joel.
“When I think of different types of melodies which are slower or softer, I think in terms of blues or greens,” Joel told Psychology Today. “When I have a particularly vivid color, it’s usually a strong melodic, strong rhythmic pattern that emerges at the same time. When I think of [those] certain songs, I think of vivid reds, oranges, or golds.”
Joel also indicated that he has grapheme-color synesthesia.
“Certain lyrics in some songs I’ve written, I have to follow a vowel color,” he said. Strong vowel sounds, for instance, are a shade of blue or green.

“I think reds I associate more with consonants, a ‘t’ or a ‘p’ or an ‘s,’ something which is a harder sound,” he explained.
While we’re on the subject, we should note that various other types of synesthesia—conditions where the senses get “mixed up” with one another—exist. Chromesthesia is thought to be the most common, but there’s also conditions like misophonia, in which repetitive sounds become excruciating over time (there’s an in-depth piece on that condition here), and lexical-gustatory synesthesia, in which people say that they’re able to “taste” words.
We’re just scratching the surface; in total, there are at least 80 different types of synesthesia. So what causes it?
We don’t know exactly, but some research indicates that different types of synesthesia might be somehow linked with autism. A Cambridge University study found that synesthesia occurs in 7.2 percent of the general population, but that 18.9 percent of people who have been diagnosed with autism have some form of synesthesia.

That’s not to say that synesthesia is always tied to genetics. Many researchers believe that it can be triggered by a childhood experience—for instance, if you see a brilliant shade of red while listening to a song in E major, your brain might connect the two experiences, and you might develop a form of chromesthesia as a result.

3. Visual Snow Syndrome

“For most of my life, I didn’t really realize I saw things differently from everyone else,” Kristine McKinney, marketing director at The Indigo Knight, tells Urbo via email. “I didn’t know it had a name until about three years ago.”
McKinney has a rare eye disease called visual snow syndrome. It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like; patients see flickering dots in their vision that resemble snow. Currently, scientists believe that it’s an issue with how the brain interprets the information it receives from the eyes, but it’s rare enough that there’s not a lot of research on the subject.

“I see a subtle, dynamic, ‘flashing’ visual snow layer over my entire vision, with some ‘cloudy’ areas that obscure my vision a little bit more. It’s the worst at night—my vision gets noticeably blurry in low light, and the visual snow is more pronounced, so it’s even harder to see. Instead of just seeing shades of gray, I see ‘colorful’ snow, so I have such a hard time distinguishing details in low or no light.”
Because she’s always had visual snow syndrome, McKinney assumed that it was normal. She has trouble explaining exactly what it looks like—which makes sense since it’s always been a part of her life.
“It’s actually hard to describe the visual snow because it’s like trying to look at a floater in your eye, except even harder to pinpoint,” she explains. “I always keep the blue-light filter on and keep my cell phone lighting much lower than most people. Even then, it can still feel too strong and cause a headache.”
While visual snow syndrome is thought to be a rare condition, researchers don’t know exactly how many people suffer from it. According to the Visual Snow Foundation, many patients never realize that they have the condition; patients are usually diagnosed after complaining about side effects such as migraines.

“[The snow] seems to be made up of very small ‘pixels,’ except they seem to be non-existent at the same time,” McKinney says. “It appears to be flashing, but somehow I can’t see it flashing. It is very strange to be able to perceive something that I cannot ‘see.’ That’s probably why people describe it differently.”
In McKinney’s case, the condition is less noticeable in bright light, and she says she often forgets about it in those situations.
“I am sensitive to artificial bright light, so I can never watch TV or use a computer in a dark room, otherwise I’ll get a headache,” she says. “I also see ghosts of objects very easily—when you stare at something for a while, and you look at a white wall, and then you see an image of the opposite color of that object.”

“It can be frustrating or embarrassing at times, but I’ve dealt with it so long I am just used to it. I sometimes wonder what it’s like not to have visual snow syndrome and wonder what the world would look like. As an artist, I’ve been meaning to create an image of exactly what I see.”
Currently ,there’s no treatment or cure for visual snow syndrome, although some of the side effects associated with the condition—migraines, for instance—respond well to certain medications.

4. Situs Inversus

We know, we know: Situs inversus sounds like a Harry Potter villain, or possibly one of the lesser Roman emperors. It literally means “inverted organs,” and if you’re wondering what it is—well, it’s right there in the name.

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People with situs inversus have their internal organs positioned on the opposite side of the body from where those organs are typically found; their hearts beat on their right sides, for instance, and their livers are on their left.
While that sounds terrifying, situs inversus doesn’t always impair development, and in many cases, it doesn’t seriously affect the patient’s health—at least, not unless they develop other conditions that require treatment. Today, most cases of situs inversus are recognized early, but that’s not always the case; singer Donny Osmond only realized that he had situs inversus when his appendix burst at 15.

In some cases, physicians misdiagnose the condition, assuming that mirror-image x-rays are the result of a technician’s inexperience rather than accurate images of a mirror-image patient. Because situs inversus is linked to serious health conditions (including cardiac issues), patients should be monitored regularly. They also need to take special precautions to prevent catastrophic medical accidents.
“For the last twelve years I have worn a MedicAlert bracelet on my left wrist to notify people of my rare condition,” wrote Saskia Solomon, who has full situs inversus, for The Guardian. “Turn it over, and emergency medical staff are informed that I have ‘Complete Situs Inversus Normal Ciliary.’ Rather than being simply an accessory or conversation piece, it serves the valuable purpose of preventing the somewhat unfortunate-sounding possibility of having an operation on the wrong side in an emergency.”

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Fortunately, situs inversus is one of the only conditions on this list with a simple diagnosis: Get an X-ray or an MRI, and you’ll immediately know whether or not it’s an issue. If dozens of excited physicians and medical students start pouring into your examination room, you’ll know that something’s up.

5. Aphantasia

Picture a cat playing with a purple ball of string. Have a decent mental image?
If you have aphantasia, that little experiment is impossible. Also called “mind blindness,” the condition prevents patients from visualizing images. That doesn’t mean that they’re less intelligent or capable than others—and in some cases, they’re unaware that they’re missing a crucial cognitive ability.

“I always knew something was different about my memory,” Nicole G., who has aphantasia, tells Urbo via text. “I was diagnosed ADHD in grad school, and I attributed a lot of it to that. I really only realized that mental imagery was a part of it, too, about a year and three months ago. I still feel kind of dumb for not realizing it sooner.”
For many aphantasiacs, the revelation isn’t that they’re unable to conjure up mental images; it’s that other people have the ability to do so.
“I was sitting around a campfire, and my friend said something along the lines of, ‘I can still see it…’ and closed his eyes,” Nicole G. says. “I guess I was just in the right state of mind, so to speak, to follow up on that and ask what he saw. He gestured as if the things he talked about were in front of him, and it sparked a conversation that lasted long into the night about visualization.”
“When I got back from camp, I googled ‘unable to visualize’ and found some articles about aphantasia.”

We should note that Nicole hasn’t received an official diagnosis, but few people with the condition are actually diagnosed. While aphantasia is thought to affect 1 to 3 percent of people worldwide, scientists have only recognized it as a legitimate condition in recent years. It can affect patients’ ability to learn certain skills, but it doesn’t always prevent them from becoming successful; Blake Ross, programmer and co-founder of Firefox, is one prominent aphantasiac.
“One positive aspect is that whenever you hear someone say, ‘You can’t unsee that! Gross!’ I’ve already unseen it,” Nicole G. says. “At the same time, I don’t know what my friends or family look like, although I can recognize them … and I remember trying so hard to count sheep as a kid and feeling dumb for not getting it.”
Those last sentences might seem confusing if you don’t have the condition; people like Nicole can recall specific details without actually visualizing those details. For instance, they might be able to say, “My mother is a blonde woman with blue eyes,” but they wouldn’t be able to recall her actual image.
As you might expect, the condition has its drawbacks. Nicole went to school to be a design engineer, but she was unaware that her inability to create mental images was holding her back.
“I was accepted at the University of Delaware and worked my [butt] off, never realizing that the others could ‘see’ the schematics even when not looking at them,” she tells us. “I fell behind, ultimately changing majors several times.”
“Since I have realized the nature of the differences in how I think versus the ‘norm,’ I have been able to adjust how I communicate and work with people,” she says. “I’ve been able to simply say, ‘Those directions don’t work for me. Can you help me understand without having to picture it?’”

Over time, she has made adjustments. We found Nicole in an online community for people with aphantasia where members share tips and compare life experiences.

“I’ve become more confident in my abilities and myself, and feel far less need to apologize for myself,” she says. “ADHD may have its stigmas, but there are many who recognize its strengths and are happy to work with the weaknesses. With aphantasia, it either never comes up, or I end up having to explain it.”
However, she says that it does affect her social life.
“Think of how a relationship would be with someone who is ‘out of sight, out of mind,’” she says. “I feel grief over all the years of not knowing [why I was different], but I guess I had to get through all of that before I could be who I am now. Things continue to get better as I learn more about myself and other people.”
And to many people with aphantasia, people who can picture things are the weird ones.
“I still think it’s unsafe to drive with pictures in your brain, but I’m told it’s not like that,” she says with a laugh.

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